09x08 - A Rose by Any Other Age

[bunniefuu]

♪ You take the good
you take the bad ♪

♪ You take 'em both
and there you have ♪

♪ The facts of life ♪

♪ The facts of life ♪

♪ There's a time you
gotta go and show ♪

♪ You're growin'
now you know about ♪

♪ The facts of life ♪

♪ The facts of life ♪

♪ When the world never seems ♪

♪ To be livin' up
to your dreams ♪

♪ And suddenly
you're findin' out ♪

♪ The facts of life
are all about you ♪

♪ All about you ♪

♪ You ♪

♪ All about you ♪

♪ It takes a lot
to get 'em right ♪

♪ When you're learnin'
the facts of life ♪

♪ Learnin' the facts of life ♪

♪ Learnin' the facts of life ♪

♪ Learnin' the facts of life ♪

Hey, how come you're
giving away my skateboard?

Andy, you never use it anymore.

It's gonna go to some needy kid

Who'll appreciate it.

I gotta have this
skateboard to make a getaway

Next time spider williams
tries to punch me out.

Andy, how long are you gonna
let that bully push you around?

Why don't you stand up to him?

Spider is the only
14-year-old in school

Who shaves every day.

So?

His back.

What is this, a flea market?

We're cleaning out the garage

And finding stuff to give away.

Do you have anything you
want to give to the poor, blair?

Yes. My heartfelt condolences.

Now, would you please
get this junk out of here?

I'm expecting company.

Natalie, you girls don't
mind giving up the living room

For a couple of hours, do you?

Wanna bet?

Oh, come on, please!

There's so much
reading in law school

That I've had to come
up with new ways

To get through all of it.

I had to invite over
a study partner.

Why didn't you
say so? It's yours.

Thanks. Sure.

Ha ha!

Just a sh*t in the
dark here, but...

Would your study
partner happen to be a guy?

He's a third-year honor student.

It's strictly business.

Ok.

Whew! What you taking that
stuff back in the garage for?

We got to clear the room

For blair's study partner.

Oh.

Unh! I'm sure this was lighter

When I brought it in.

You know, if it weren't for
jo throwing out her back,

She'd be helping us.

If it weren't for helping us,

She won't have
thrown out her back.

Oh... That's better.

All right, blair. The
room's all yours.

Hey, tootie, do you think
jo faked that back thing?

I wouldn't blame her if she did.

Ha ha ha!

[Romantic music plays]

[Doorbell chimes]

Hi.

Hi, blair. How are you?

Well, let's get
right to it, shall we?

Sure.

Uhh... We won't be needing this.

[Music stops]

Uh, now you said
you needed some help

With 2-party contracts?

Oh, yes!

They are a bear.

Oh, but I hate to dive
right into studying.

Tell me about yourself.

I'm 28, I'm in third-year law...

And we've got a lot of
ground to cover tonight, so...

Why don't we turn to page...

56 In the contracts casebook?

Oh, the book, the book!

Oh, fudge. I guess I'll
have to share yours.

Ok.

Let's consider brown vs. Mcneal.

Blair, jo switched to your bed

Because the mattress is firmer.

At those prices, it should be.

Oh!

I'm sorry.

I didn't know you had a date.

Oh, this isn't a date.
We're just studying.

This is larry preston.

Larry, beverly ann stickle.
She lives here with us.

How do you do?

Hello, larry. I'm
sorry to bother you.

Blair... Have you seen
the... Yellow pages?

I need to find a place

Where they sell boxing gloves.

Beverly ann, we are studying.

Oh, of course!

Look at me, barging in!

Boxing gloves?

Yes. My son just
started high school,

And he's run into
his first bully.

And your husband's going
to teach him how to box?

Well, I only have an ex-husband.

Even I could b*at him up. Ha ha!

Oh! Here it is. Brown vs mcneal.

In my undergrad days, I
did some boxing myself.

Really? Oh, I've always
been a big fight fan.

But I'm interrupting
your studying.

What? No, not at all.

We haven't even started.

But we should.

I hate to brag, but
I was going to be

Middleweight champion...

Till one day I woke
up and realized

Boxing wasn't for me.

Oh, ha! Just... Like that.

Well, what I woke up from

Was a first-round knockout.

Oh! You... You were
knocked out the first round?

Well, I think I'll just
go see how jo's doing.

Excuse me.

How many fights did you have?

Just that one.

Hmm.

There, how's that?

Thanks, tootie. That's fine.

Uh... Maybe it would
be better this way.

Great. That's fine, too. Thanks.

Just stop fussing.

Maybe you're
better off lying flat.

A world of
difference. Thank you.

I'm afraid to look
in the mirror,

But I know that something
is terribly wrong.

Well... I don't get it.

There's a man downstairs,

And he's practically
ignoring me.

And they said it
couldn't be done.

Maybe it's my hair.

Hey, natalie!

Is it wet or dry heat
you put on a bad back?

Natalie: neither. An ice pack.

Ohh, and she
shouldn't be lying flat.

She shouldn't be lying here.

An ice pack? That's ridiculous.

Tootie, I think I know

A little bit more about
medicine than you.

After all, I did once
work for a mortuary.

Would you two
please get out of here

And leave jo alone?

We'll come back, jo.
And try to lie still.

Thank you, blair.

I could tell you were desperate

For some peace and quiet.

I just figured out
why larry is acting

So indifferent to me.

He has taste?

He's crazy about me.

Please, blair, I really
don't want to hear this.

He has found a sure-fire way

To get my attention...

By pretending
he's not interested.

I'm gonna pretend
like I'm not interested.

That's ok. I really
should get downstairs

To more of larry's chilly
indifference and apathy.

Golly, he's good.

But I'm better.

But my brother was so tall,

When I tried to fight back,
I'd be punching his knees.

Well, let's rejoin
those madcap litigants

Brown and mcneal.

I better get busy, too.

I'm making dinner tonight,

And I'm trying
something different.

Chinese pea pods and mushrooms.

Stir fry.

Are you making
sichuan or mandarin?

Actually, I'm making stickle.

This is my first time
cooking with a wok.

The trick is knowing exactly

When the oil's hot enough.

Oh. How can I tell?

Can't you just test
it with your finger?

You'll know the oil's ready

When it starts
to smoke a little.

Natalie: I have an idea.

Larry, why don't
you stay for dinner?

That way, you can show her.

What a wonderful idea!

It'll give you
more time to study.

Well... Oh, do, larr.

I know you'd like to stay.

Actually, I would.

Well, all right. You
two get back to work,

And I'll call you when
the veggies are cut up.

What a delightful woman.

The best.

Yeah, this little
baby ought to do it.

Andy, what are you doing
with that weed whacker?

Yesterday, it was
a weed whacker.

Today, it's spider repellent.

Hello. I'm larry preston.

Andy moffet.

That's beverly ann's son.

Sounds like you're having
a problem at school.

Uh, yeah. This guy spider's
making my life miserable.

Well, if you want, I'll
teach you a few tricks.

Oh, like the one
where I trip him

And then run for my life?

My! It is so stuffy in here.

What do you say we
go for a nice long walk,

And we can discuss this case

In the cool of the eve?

That's a great idea!

Why don't you come along, andy?

Larry: we'll help
your mother out,

Swing by the
sporting goods store,

And get you some boxing gloves.

Really? Oh, great!
I'll go tell her.

Uh... You don't
mind, do you, blair?

Oh, no, no, no.

That was gonna be
my next suggestion.

That the 3 of us pop on down

To the sporting goods store.

All right, all right.

Let's say this guy's first punch

Is a bone-crushing
right to your jaw.

What do you come back with?

You and a few other guys.

Great dinner, beverly ann.

Well, a lot of the
credit goes to larry.

That's right. He guided me

Every step of the way.

But I'm afraid we didn't
get much studying done.

Oh. Well, I guess you'll just
have to give me a rain check.

I'll come back
anytime. By the way...

Can I see those photos
of yours, beverly ann,

That you promised to show me?

You know, the ones you
took on your trip out here?

Well, now's as
good a time as any.

The girls love to
see those pictures.

Heh...

Right. Heh.

I'm gonna go do the dishes.

I'm gonna go bring
jo a second dessert.

Ah, she'll need a new napkin.

Oh...

That's a shame. They're
gonna miss these.

Blair... Do you remember them?

Oh, do i?

Here we go.

Winnebago memories.

I just can't get
over a lady like you

Coming all the way
across country by herself.

Ohh... It was nothing any woman

Of tremendous vision
and courage couldn't do.

Now... This is indiana.

Uh, you sure took
a lot of pictures

Of different cornfields.

They're all the same one.

You're quite a
photographer, now.

Good composition...
Really nice colors...

Thank you, larry.

Now tell me if I
start to bore you.

If he doesn't, I will.

I never get tired of
looking at photographs.

Well, why don't I
show you the ones

Of my last trip to europe?

I had them professionally sh*t.

Well, I'd like to, blair,

And I'd really love to see

The rest of your
photos, beverly ann,

But I do have to write a paper

For an 8:00 class tomorrow.

Well, we've certainly
enjoyed your company.

The pleasure was all mine.

Believe me, I have
never had more fun

Stir-frying in my life.

We did have some laughs.

Your army stories
were priceless!

Did you say you had to go?

Yeah. Uh...

Uh, please say good
night to everyone for me.

I'll walk you to the car.

Oh, no, no, no. Don't bother.

Uh, well... Good night.

Night, larry.

Charming man.

I'm sorry you didn't
get farther along

With your studying.

Ah. We'll make it up next time.

[Knock on door]

Oh.

Back so soon?

I forgot... A book.

Oh.

Ahem! Well...

Thanks again for a great
evening. Oh, thank you.

I had a wonderful time. Me, too.

Uh, next time I won't monopolize

The conversation.

I don't usually talk that much.

Oh! I thought I was
doing all the talking.

I hope we can do it
again... Sometime...

Soon.

Well, that would be nice.

Yes, it would.

[Whispering] jo.

♪ Jo ♪

Jo!

You awake?

Huh?

Couldn't sleep either, huh?

Blair, what is the matter?

Jo, I've been seriously thinking

About cosmetic surgery.

What do you think?

If they sew your
mouth closed, I'm for it.

You still worried
about that kiss?

How can he prefer
beverly ann to me?

I mean, is this
the twilight zone?

If I answer that,
am I gonna be up

For the rest of the night?

I mean, look at me.

I'm young, I'm attractive,

I'm overwhelmingly desirable...

Come on, blair. I mean,

She's not exactly a schnauzer.

All right, all right. Beverly
ann is attractive, too.

For someone who's
from another... Decade.

Blair, it didn't have
to mean anything.

It was just a kiss.

It was not just a kiss.

It was... A kiss.

Blair, drop it.

You'll get over it. You
have years of kissing

Ahead of you.

So what are you trying to say?

I'm saying good night.

Good morning, everybody.

Isn't it a beautiful day?

Sun is shining, not
a cloud in the sky...

Oh!

Can't remember
when I felt so young.

Or so old.

Something on your
mind, beverly ann?

Yes.

I have sort of a problem.

But it's... It's a
happy problem.

You see, last night,
after larry left,

Uh, he came back to get
a book he'd forgotten,

And I gave it to him,
and then he, uh...

Took me in his
arms and kissed me.

Imagine if you'd
found his car keys.

Then what happened, beverly ann?

I kissed him back.

Larry?

At first I was
absolutely shocked,

But... After I thought
about it... Well...

There was some kind
of chemistry between us.

Larry?!

He wants to see
me again tonight.

Larry...

But I just don't
know. I'm not sure...

If I like him because
I really like him,

Or if I'm just flattered to
be considered attractive

By a man who could
be my... You know.

Biographer?

One kiss. One...
Really... Excellent kiss,

And for a moment...

All the years between
us just melted away.

Oh. But it's crazy.

Are you kidding?

I think it's great!

Older men have may-december...

Make that september... Romances.

Why can't women?

That's right.

Times are changing, people
are more enlightened...

Besides, most of
the available men

My age are dead.

Let's face it, beverly ann.

You and larry dating?

Well, I guess it's ok

As long as you don't take
him across any state lines.

Were you interested in larry?

Ha! Of course not!

We were just friends.

You're sure? Because if
you were serious about him,

I'd back off in a minute.

How many times do
I have to tell you

I'm not serious about him?

It's just that...

Well... You and larry
look ridiculous together.

People will think he's
out with his mother.

Blair: oh, come on!

I'm just saying what
everyone's thinking.

You were the only one

That thought that, blair.

[Telephone rings]

Hello?

Yeah. Just a minute.

Beverly ann, it's for you.

Hello.

Oh.

Good morning, larry.

Well, uh, actually, tonight
isn't very good for me.

No. I have other plans.

Oh... Listen,

I'm right in the
middle of something.

Yeah.

Ok. Bye.

Gosh. It's almost 8:00,

And i... I haven't even
made andy's lunch yet.

10 Of clubs, jo.

Hmm. I'll take it.

Uh... Here you go.

Oh, wait, wait, wait.

Yeah. Take that
one instead. Thanks.

Oh. No help.

Thanks for nothing.

Nada.

7 Of hearts, jo.

Uh, yeah, I'll take it.

Here you go.

Jo: gin.

Hey, beverly ann,
you wanna play?

Jo is getting tired.

Beverly ann: no, thanks.

The way things are going,

I'll probably lose all my money.

We're not playing for money.

Oh, it doesn't matter.

I just don't feel like a winner.

Yeah. It's a shame
about her and larry.

What's that supposed to mean?

I just feel bad 'cause things

Didn't work out, that's all.

What, and you're
saying it's my fault

That she didn't go out with him?

That's not what she said.

Although one could
interpret it that way.

What did I say to her?

You people were deluding her.

I was just being... Honest.

And straightforward.

And... And?

Insensitive.

And?

Hurtful.

And?

Selfish.

So... Anything going on tonight?

Yes.

You're going out with larry.

What?

Beverly ann, I'm really sorry

For what I said earlier.

Oh... If I were a man

And saw you
standing next to me...

That's me, the woman...

Then I'd be attracted to you.

Th-that's me, the man.

And i, the woman, wouldn't
think any the less of you

Because i, the man,
was attracted to you.

The you.

Guards!

The important thing is,
you two like each other,

And it's wrong for me
to stand in your way.

Call him.

I don't know.

He's so young.
What'll people think?

Who cares?

Beverly ann, you can't live
your life for other people.

That's what you're
always telling us.

Well, this is different.

Why?

'Cause it's happening to me.

And I'm not sure
I can handle it.

Funny. I thought you could
handle just about anything.

Especially a nice romantic
candlelight dinner.

Fireplace... Soft
music... Champagne...

Hey, if she doesn't
want to go out to dinner

With a great guy and
have a wonderful time,

She obviously knows
what she's doing.

You know, I could've
bought that teddy bear

For you for less than
what it cost to win it.

You could've bought the
whole sh**ting gallery.

Ha ha! Ha ha!

But it was a fun night.

Well, you two are
home early for a change.

How was the carnival?

Expensive.

So, how's everything here?

Oh, fine. Uh, I think we
got the ice onto andy's eye

Soon enough to limit
most of the swelling.

Andy's eye?

What happened?

Andy!

Oh, my. Oh, no.

What happened?

Spider tried to push me
around, so I pushed back.

Oh. I wish you hadn't done that.

You wish?

Sorry, kid.

Looks like my boxing techniques

Didn't work very
well on old spider.

Oh, they worked great! I
knocked him down with one punch,

But that's when spider's
big brother tarantula

Came out and decked me.

Come on, slugger.

Let's try some steak
tartare on that eye.

I just hope this
tarantula individual

Is satisfied with his revenge

And doesn't try to
blacken andy's other eye.

Oh!

Maybe I should go have a talk

With his father.

Oh. That's very nice of you.

I think this is my
responsibility.

Oh, I know, but this is
kind of a father's job.

Well, uh...

I don't... I don't
necessarily agree with that.

No. But in any case,
you're not his father.

No, of course not, but...

Maybe this'll be good
practice. I mean, who knows?

Maybe someday I
will be his father.

Hello, operator. I think
we have a bad connection.

Come on. I'm not
proposing right now,

But I know that eventually
I'm going to get married.

And when I go out with
somebody and I like them,

I... Think about it. Don't you?

No.

You mean you don't
want to get married?

Well, I just don't think
about it that much.

Then why... Bother to date?

Oh? Have a good time.

Well, that's fine
for once or twice,

But... After that...

I'm too old to date
just for the heck of it.

Yes, I guess you are.

Oh, boy.

I always hate this part.

What part is that?

The part where you
say it's getting late...

And I say I'll call you...

And then I never do.

How do you know
that's what will happen?

I guess I don't.

I'll call you.

Ok.

But it is getting late.

[♪♪♪]