05x29 - It's My Party: Part 2

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Family Ties". Aired: September 22, 1982 - May 14, 1989.
Set in suburban Columbus, Ohio during the Reagan administration, Steven and Elyse Keaton are baby boomers, liberals and former hippies, raising their three children: ambitious, would-be millionaire entrepreneur Alex; fashion-conscious, gossipy Mallory; and tomboy Jennifer.
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05x29 - It's My Party: Part 2

Post by bunniefuu »

♪ I'll bet we've been together ♪

♪ For a million years ♪

♪ And I'll bet we'll
be together ♪

♪ For a million more ♪

♪ Oh it's like I
started breathing ♪

♪ On the night we kissed ♪

♪ And I can't remember ♪

♪ What I ever did before ♪

♪ What would we do, baby ♪

♪ Without us? ♪

♪ What would we do, baby ♪

♪ Without us? ♪

♪ And there ain't no nothin' ♪

♪ We can't love
each other through ♪

♪ What would we do, baby ♪

♪ Without us? ♪

♪ Sha la la la ♪

Ladies and gentlemen,

They said it couldn't be done.

They said there
were no tickets left

To next sunday's
steelers-bengals game.

They said it was a
complete sellout.

Steven, can we skip
ahead a few steps?

Did you get the tickets?

Did I get the tickets?

Elyse, in the world
of ticket-buying

Not a lot of guys have my savvy.

Need I remind you of past
ticket-buying successes?

Remember last year,
front row seats?

Yeah, the ethel merman
sound-alike contest.

Oh, I can't wait to tell
jennifer. Where is she?

She's at the mall with
some of her friends.


You know, dad, this is getting
completely out of hand.

I mean, she's down
there every day

With those new
trendy friends of hers.

She talks funny.
She dresses funny.

She's completely
obsessed with her looks.

I mean we got to
put a stop to it.

I am running out of
normal sisters here.

No offense, mallory.

None taken.

[Telephone rings]


Oh, no, jennifer's not
here at the moment.

Can I take a message?

Tell her...

Stacie called.

The new guy

In algebra class

Is, like,

So-o-o gnarly...


And we should

Scam on him...


Yeah, o.k., I'll tell her.

Another message for jennifer.

Elyse, I don't know how
much more of this I can take.

I'll tell you, steven, I'm not
all that crazy about it myself.

These constant phone calls,

The parties, the clothes.

But, you know, I think we
just have to ride it out.

It's just a phase.

Well, this phase has been
going on for three weeks, elyse.

How long before it
becomes a serious problem?

About two more minutes.

Come on, you guys. Don't
make it such a big deal about it.

The worst thing we can do

Is make jennifer
feel self-conscious.

Just act like nothing's changed.


Hi, jen.

That certainly
is a gnarly outfit.

Let me scam on it.

Jennifer, you've got some
messages piling up here.

Beth hooper called. She's
having a party on saturday.

Well, that's, like, great, mom,

But, like, I have two
other much cooler parties

To go to on saturday.

Well, at least call her back.

I'll try, but, like, I have
all these other messages.

Oh, my god...

Brett mackenzie called.

I think he likes
me. I'm going to die.

He won't like you as
much if you die, jen.

Say, jen, I've got
some good news.

I just got some tickets

For next sunday's
steelers-bengals game

Over at riverfront.

Great seats.

Yeah, they're two rows
down from the ozone layer.

Like, dad, like,
football is like so lame.

Jennifer, you love football.

We've gone to this game
every year since you were .

It's a family tradition.

Well, why don't we start
a new family tradition,

Of, like, not going?


What has come over you?

Nothing. I'm just
growing up, that's all.

I'm not a little kid anymore.

Jennifer, it's like you're a
different person entirely.

I am a different person,

And I'm, like, a much
better one, too.

Ask anybody. I'm gnarly now.

I'm calling the police.

Hi, jennifer.

Oh. Hi, beth.

Want to sit down?

Sure, I'd love to.


How's soccer practice?

It's not the same without you.

No one can hit the ball with
their head the way you can.

I keep knocking
myself unconscious.

That's the spirit, beth.

Jennifer, what are you doing?

Yeah, like, we were
supposed to meet

At our table.

I've got to go, o.k., Beth.

Like, why were
you talking to her?

I thought she was
someone much cooler.

Hey, you guys, you'll never
guess who's on the way in here.

Who? Who?

Zack phillips and
brett mackenzie.

You know, jennifer, zack told me

That brett mackenzie
thinks you're real cute.

Really? Yep.

Isn't this great, jennifer?

One of the cutest
guys in school likes you.

Aren't you happy we became cool?

I am. I am.

I'm just too cool to show it.

Hey, what's happening, babes?

Like, hi. Hi. Hi.

Hey, jennifer...

Been noticing you
around a lot lately.

Who me?

Yeah, you're looking real good.

Thanks, brett.

I try to take care of myself.

I get plenty of rest,

I brush between meals,

And I wash with ivory soap.

Mackenzie, let's bolt.
See you babes later.

Like, bye. Like, bye.

[Bell rings]

We better get to math class.

Listen, there's this hot
sale at hudson's, you know.

Let's cut class and
get some new outfits.

All right. Come on.

Hey, wait a minute.

Come on, jennifer,

We've got to do this.

We've got to do what they do.

Chrissy, we could
get in trouble.

Are you coming or not?

Jennifer, come on.

Like, o.k., Let's shop.

Cool. Cool.

Like, hi, everybody.

Hi, jen.


Oh, my god, ellen, I
almost didn't see you.

Oh, my god.

Look at these great
clothes I got today.

Wait a minute. Wait
a minute, jennifer.

Bucks for a torn sweatshirt?

Happens to be
very stylish, alex,

Not that you'd know
anything about style.

You want to be
stylish, jennifer?

Give me bucks.

I'll go upstairs and tear
up all your sweatshirts.

It has to be torn in
a special way, alex.

What happened to jennifer?

I don't know.

We're still waiting
for the test results.

Hi. What's the plan for dinner?

Alex is making dinner.

No, seriously, what's
the plan for dinner?

You know, mallory, I
can't take this anymore.

What is going on with jennifer?

I mean...

She's talking funny.

She's on the phone all the time.

Boys, parties...

She's a teenager, alex.

From what planet?

Can be a very difficult
age for a girl, alex.

It can be very confusing...

Growing so fast,

Hormonal changes.

She's becoming aware
of her sexuality.

Ellen, please, we're
in the kitchen here.

You're such a prude, alex.

A prude? Well, I never.

You got your work
cut out for you, ellen.

What does she mean by that?

I think she means that
you're a little... Uptight.

You got to loosen up a little.

Uh, me... N-n-not loose?

Ahem. Oh.


So, try not to chew

On that side of your
mouth for a couple...

Much better. Thanks.


So, uh...

How... How was andy's checkup?

Great. Dr. Gordon
said she had never seen

Anyone as advanced at his age.

That's not what
she said, steven.

She said that andrew was a
normal, healthy, happy baby.

You have to read
between the lines.

She's not going to
offend the other babies.

Look, andrew's great,

But there's no reason for
us to believe he's a genius.

The odds against two in the
same family are astronomical.

Well, we should
decide on dinner...

Eat here or go out?

Alex is making dinner.

No, seriously, we
really should decide.

Hey, I thought I heard you.
What's the plan for dinner?

Well, we're just
talking about that.

I am making dinner.

Well, let me know
when you decide, o.k.?

Oh, I left all my shopping...

Hi, jen.


What's going on?


Is that yours?

Uh... Yeah.

Just some clothes.
I got them today.

Uh, I'm curious, jennifer.

How many times have you
gone shopping this week?

This week?

Definitely less than .

Well, where are you
getting all the money?

You've used up all
your allowance.

Well, I'm using my
babysitting money.

Well, at this rate
it must be gone.

You were saving that
money for a -speed bike.

I know, mom, but
that's not as important

As gnarly clothes, you know.

All right, that's it.

I can't cook under
these conditions.

Ellen, come on. You're
buying me dinner.

[Telephone rings] look...


Yes, this is steven keaton.

I... I see.

I see.

Uh, no, that's fine.
We-we'll be there. Yeah.

That was mr. Ross,
your assistant principal.

He wants to see us.

Did he say why?

He told me you cut
class this afternoon.

Oh, that's why.

Jennifer, did you do that?

Oh, it was only math class.

It's dumb anyway.

[Telephone rings]

You stay right here, young lady.

We're not through yet.


No, no...

Jennifer can't speak
on the phone right now.

Party tonight?

Uh... No, I'm afraid not.


Dad, I just bought a new
outfit to go to that party.

But, jennifer...

Not only is there
no party tonight,

There is no party
tomorrow night.

There is no party next week.

There are no parties!

All of this stops now.

Outside of school,

You're not going to
be leaving this house.

Alex, please, the bengals
can b*at the steelers.

They've done it in the past.

Come on, dad. You're dreaming.

The bengals are hopeless.

I'm telling the
bengals you said that.

All right, dad, o.k. Look, why
don't we just put our money

Where our mouths are, o.k.?

O.k., Fair enough.
I'm ready for action.

A buck says the
bengals take them.

Whoa, dad.

A buck?

O.k., Ohio slim, you're on.

Hey, jen, listen,

Sorry you're not
coming to the game.

We're going to
miss you. I mean that.

Whose shoulders
am I going to sit on?

Won't be the same
without you, jen.

You going to be o.k.?

Yeah, I'll be all right.

I didn't want to go anyway.

O.k., Come on, alex.
We got to pick up ellen.

Dad, if you're wearing those,

You're not sitting next to me.

Come on.

O.k., Jen, we should
be back around : .

Andy should sleep
for about two hours.

Anything you need before we go?

No, I'm perfectly fine
here all alone, by myself.

O.k., Well, I want you to
get your homework done

And clean your room
while we're gone.

You told me times.

While we're gone,

I want you to think about ways

You can change this behavior.

You know, jen,
it's kind of ironic.

Last thing I want to do
is go to a football game,

But I'm going.

You're the one who
should be going.

What makes you think

I want to go to a
dumb football game

With my dumb parents?

You know, jen, I'm
really getting tired

Of this little miss cool act.

I think it's gone too far,

And I think you know it.

What are you trying to prove?

I'm not trying to
prove anything!

I'm just trying to have fun.

Are you?

Having fun?

Well, not yet.

But I should start
to any day now.

Jen, I just think you're
giving up too much

To be with this crowd.

You've become a
different person.

You don't want to do anything,

You don't want
to talk to anyone.

It's like we have a
stranger in the house.

[Horn honks]


Just think about it, o.k.?

Let me see, do I
have everything...

Lipstick, perfume, curling iron?

Let's play football!

[Doorbell rings]

Like, hi, jen.

Oh, chrissy, you can't come in.

My parents don't want
me having anyone over

While I'm being punished.

You've got to let me in.

The whole crowd is here.
We can't tell them to go.

Like, hi. Like, hi.

Hi, o.k.?

So, are your parents
like really gone

For the whole afternoon?

Well, yeah. They went
to a football game.

Like, come on in, guys.
The coast is clear.

All right! All right!

Hello. Right.


Wait a minute, you guys. Wait.

Hey, I'm not supposed
to have boys over

When my parents aren't here.

I'm not supposed
to have anyone over.

Like, grow up, jennifer, o.k.?

Anyway, we're not
boys. We're dudes.

Damn straight.

Chrissy, I don't
know about this.

Come on, jennifer.
It was stacie's idea.

It'll be fun.

Nice digs, jennifer.

So, like, who lives here,

Your old man or your old lady?

They both do.

I don't get it.

Like, what is with this?

Like, I can't find mtv.

Well, we don't have mtv.

You don't get mtv?

Are you serious?

Uh, like my dad works for, uh...

Uh... Public television.

Gross! Gross!

So, like, what are
we waiting for?

Let's party!

[Rock music playing]

That's beer!

Got a bottle opener?

No, we don't.

My dad doesn't believe in them.

It's some religious thing.

Hey, twist off! Good deal!

Chrissy, we've got to stop this.

No, don't, jennifer.

They'll think you're afraid.

I am afraid. Jennifer, please.

We've worked so hard to be cool.

Don't spoil it now.

Chrissy, they all have beer.

It's out of our hands, jennifer.

Yo, babes.

Now it's in our hands!


So, uh...

How about giving me a tour
of the rest of the house?

Well, um...

This is really the best part.

I mean, the rest of the
house is sort of closed.

The roof fell off...

In a tornado.

I never heard about any tornado.

It was a small one.

It just hit our house.

[Doorbell rings]

Oh. Hi, beth.

Like, I can't believe it.

Like, look who's here.

I think I'll come
back some other time.

No, no, no. It's o.k.,
Beth. Come on in.

Jennifer, this is
a private party.

Like, no creeps allowed.

Get lost, lame-o.

Yeah. Yeah.

Hey, shut up, you guys!

What did you say, jennifer?

I said shut up.

Beth is my friend,

And you owe her an apology.

No way.

What makes you guys
think you're so much better

Than everyone else?

You're not.

You think everything's dumb.

Well, I'm not like that.

I like people. I like things.

I like my parents.

I like public television!

I always knew you
were a loser, jennifer.

Just like beth.

Get out.

Come on, guys.

This place is lame city.

You got it.

Coming, chrissy?

Thanks, jennifer.

You don't have
to thank me, beth.

I should've done
that a long time ago.

Thanks for staying, chrissy.


Hey, maybe we can start
our own cool group.

Are you in, beth?

Yeah, I've always been cool.

once again, the final score...

bengals, , steelers, .

Way to go, bengals.

Sorry I wasn't there
to cheer you on.

All right, alex. We're home.

You said the dollar
was up in your room.

Quit stalling.

All right, dad.

I'll get it to you, o.k.

I just need a little time.

I'm giving you hours.

After that...

You owe me $ . .

All right, all right. I just
have to make a few calls, o.k.?

How was the game?

It was all right, except the
referee kept throwing these hankies

On the field.

Well, jen, you'll
be happy to know

Bengals took the steelers ...

To .

That's right. How'd you know?

I watched the recap on the news.

So, what'd you do
while we were gone, jen?

Oh, a little of this
and a little of that.

What's this?

It looks like a beer bottle,

But I could be wrong.

Where did it come from?

Stacie and the girls

Brought some guys
over, and they brought it.

You were being punished,

And you had a party
while we were gone?

Bold move, jen.

This is the last straw.

Jennifer, this is inexcusable.

Dad, I didn't invite them.

They just barged in.

And then they
started doing things

I didn't want them to do...

Drinking and fooling around.

And you didn't stop them?

I did! I threw them out!

They'll probably
never speak to me again,

But I threw them out.

Did you drink, too?

No, I faked it.

Jennifer, we trusted you.

I know, but I
didn't invite them.

I don't expect you to believe me

After the way I've been acting.

You probably hate me by now.

We don't hate you, jen,

But we certainly have
not been very thrilled

With you the past few weeks.

My life is a mess, mom.

Come on, jen. How
can you say that?

You're only years old.

You haven't even been
through a tax audit.

Hey, look, jennifer,
I know how you feel.

Gosh, when I was ,

I followed the trendy,
materialistic, cool crowd.

It just worked out
better for me, that's all.

All I wanted to
do was be popular.

Guess there's no
chance of that now.

Look... Look, jen,

This isn't a question

Of being popular or unpopular.

You've been trying to act

Like someone you're not.

That'll never make you happy.

I guess you're right, dad.

I know one thing.

I sure am sorry I missed
the football game

And being with you guys today.

Wait a minute. Hold on a second.

What's that strange
language she's speaking?

Sounds like english.

I'm not going to talk in
that dumb way anymore,

And I'm not going to hang around

With those stupid girls.

I just want my life
to be the way it was.

I miss you guys.

Can I be back in
the family again?

Well, we're kind of
full up right now.

I'll tell you what, jennifer...

How about I see if I can
scrape up some tickets

To that packers game next month?

What do you say?

Like, that would be,
like, so gnarly, dad.

Sit, ubu, sit.

Good dog. [Dog barks]
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