05x48 - Presents Are Meant to Be Given Early

[bunniefuu]

Shinpachi ShimuraVisits the World

Shin Oh, hello. This is Shinpachi Shimura.

Shin The Odd Jobs member who hasn't been on screen for a month.

Shin In this show, I usually play a straight man.

Filmed in Tokyo

Shin Hey!

Shin Cut it out!

Shin This is supposed to be anime!

Shin It's been weeks since my last appearance!

You could at least draw me!

Shin I'm easier to draw than the pattern on Gin-san's clothes!

Shin I take less lines to draw than the Shinsengumi uniform!

Shin When did I go from someone recognized by his glasses to just glasses!

Gin Well, at least you aren't recognized by your nipples.

Shin There aren't any Jump characters recognized by their nipples!

Shin And there never will be!

Shin This doesn't count as a live-action segment!

Shin The only thing glasses and nipples

have in common is the fact that they come in pairs!

Kagura You finally get some screen time and all you do is blab.

Shin That's not my fault!

Shin How am I supposed to stay quiet?!

Shin Hey! Hold on!

Shin It's been a while, so let me rant some more!

The EndGlasses provided by Animate Costume Museum ACOS

Ana Today will be the coldest day yet this winter.

Ana Make sure you dress warmly

so you don't catch a cold before Christmas.

Gin You got it!

Ana Please have a wonderful day!

Gin I will!

Kagura Go find work, you bum.

Shin Gin-san, it's a little early for you to be making so much noise over there.

Gin Ana Ketsuno is talking to me.

I can't just ignore her.

Kagura He's been like this ever since that Onmyoji mess.

Kagura He thinks that Ana Ketsuno is talking to him through the TV.

Kagura That smile is for me.

Her words are for me.

Kagura He's out of his mind.

Shin Hey, you sound like a pathetic fan.

Shin That's the kind of stuff stalkers say.

Gin But she was looking at me.

Gin What do you want me to do?

Kagura Are you stupid?

Kagura She's not going to fall for you because you helped out once.

Kagura TV personalities go out with baseball players

Kagura and have shotgun marriages with J Leaguers.

Kagura They're brutal athletes whochase more balls than the players.

Kagura They wouldn't be interested in your dirty balls.

Gin Ana Ketsuno is different!

Gin She's as stoic as the pit traps in the Road to Rhone, you idiot!

Ana It's time for today's black horoscope!

Ana Today's lucky sign is

Ana Libra.

Ana Yes, you with the curly hair, dumb face,

and a toothbrush in your mouth.

Gin H-Hey, look!

Gin She's talking about me!

Gin Who else could she mean?!

Ana You just might receive a wonderful present today.

Ana Something good will come.

Gin P-Present?

Gin Like a love, love letter?

Ana And your lucky item is a bright red...

Gin Bright red?

Gedo Club.

Gin Saber!

Shin Y-You're...

Gedo It's been a while, Gintoki-sama.

Shin Gedomaru-san!

Presents Are Meant To Be Given Early

Odd Jobs Gin-chanSnack Otose

Gin Uh...

Gin So what?

Gin You're the wonderful present?

Gedo I'm not a present.

Gedo I have merely returned.

Gedo As I said before, the pact makes you my other master.

Gedo I have merely come back to where I belong.

Gedo Please make yourself at home.

Gin Uh, that's what your master is supposed to say!

Gedo Oh, were you having breakfast?

Gedo Sorry, now it looks like I'm here for a free meal.

Gedo Then I'll help myself.

Gin That's not breakfast!

Gin Why are you here?!

Gin How is this a wonderful present?!

Gin This is like Zombie Express.

Kagura Gin-chan, who is she?

Shin Huh? You don't remember her?

Shin This is the shikigami Gedomaru-san.

Shin You just mentioned the battle

Shin between Ana Ketsuno's family, the Ketsuno clan, and the Shirino clan.

Shin This is Ana Ketsuno's shikigami who fought alongside Gin-chan.

Kagura Oh, she's that one girl.

Kagura There was a lot happening near the end of the first season,

so I forgot about her.

Shin What's that?!

Shin That sounds like something one of the

staff members on this show would say!

Kagura This is all I really remember from that arc.

Shin That dumb joke?!

Kagura So why is a character from the first season

Kagura showing up around the same time two years later.

Gin She probably tried to sneak in an appearance since we're busy again.

Gin Nobody invited you here.

Gin Pay me for the damage to the TV and scram!

Gin That's an order!

Gedo Then...

Gedo Please sign here and then we can

Shikigami DivorceGedomaruGintoki Sakata

let our lawyers work out the details.

Gedo How does two hundred million sound as a settlement?

Gedo It's not easy for a shikigami who's been divorced.

Gin Why are you making it sound like this is a marriage?!

Gin Is this some kind of new scam?!

Gedo That's too bad.

Gedo I came here to make Christel-sama happy.

Gedo Sigh, if you had cooperated,

Christel-sama would have fallen head over heels for you.

Gin H-Hold on!

Gin What did you just say?

Gin Hey! Wait up!

Gin Please wait, my master!

Gin Huh?

Gin A Christmas present?

Gedo That's right.

Gedo We shikigami wish to give our master a present

to show our appreciation.

Shin Shikigami?! Isn't that the wrong religion?!

Shin And aren't demons supposed to be anti-Christmas?!

Kagura Don't bring that up, Shinpachi.

Shin Huh? Really?

Kagura First, you should mention how this is a weird time to air a Christmas episode.

Kagura They should have used Valentine's or White Day instead.

Shin You weren't supposed to say that!

Shin Everybody knows that Jump and the anime are on different schedules!

Shin We aired a Christmas episode in March two years ago!

Shin And when the second season started,

we aired a New Year's episode in April!

Shin Anyway, enough about Christmas.

What's the problem?

Gedo As you already know, I am a combat shikigami.

Gedo I don't know what present will make her happy.

Gedo So...

Gin I see.

Gin So you wanted advice from the natural playboy Gin-san.

Shin Gedomaru-san, he spends his time playing pachinko by himself.

Gin Well, in that case, I'm willing to help you out,

Gin but what do I get out of it?

Gedo I'll hand your present to Christel-sama too.

Gin Aha! That works!

Gin Hey, I thought you were just a rotten joke,

but you have a sweet side.

Kagura I'm impressed. You can be cute.

Gedo It's like watching Gian in Doraemon movies.

Gedo One day of agony and

the other days of tyranny are forgiven.

Shin She's rotten to the core!

Shin Oh, well.

Shin Let's get going then!

Shin I'll buy something for Sis!

Kagura Hey, that's no fair!

Kagura Gin-chan, please buy me something!

Santa Festival

Kagura Hey, there's a Santa Festival over there!

Shin I'm sure we'll find some wonderful presents there, Gedomaru-san!

Shin What are you two doing? Hurry up!

A Lombroso.

Gedo What's wrong, you guys?

Shin Uh, well...

Shin I thought we were heading towards a Santa Festival?

Shin I could have sworn there was a Santa Festival here a few seconds ago.

On Screen ,Satan Festival

Both Huh?

Gedo Oh, you must have read the sign wrong!

Shin The hell we did!

Shin When did Santa turn into Satan?!

Shin Where did all these evil creatures come from?!

Shin This is like an anti-Christmas pow-wow!

Gedo It appears after sensing my vast power,

Gedo they broke through the barrier and opened the gates.

Gedo We are currently standing where the Santa Festival is being held,

Gedo but we are in a completely different dimension.

Gedo The demon world.

Beware of pets!

Shin This show is turning into a different anime again!

Gin Pachi-boy, check it out.

Gin They mixed up Christmas and Halloween.

Shin Mixed them up?!

Shin They're the real deal!

On Screen,Shin Satan Festival

Shin We've ended up in a Satan Festival instead of a Santa Festival!

Shin We don't have time to look for Christmas presents!

Kagura Does it even matter?

Kagura It's like the difference between Hagiwara and Ogiwara.

Shin They're completely different!

Gin Santa and Satan.

Gin One brings dreams, the other brings despair.

Gin They're more or less the same.

Shin They're not the same!

Shin If you consider them similar, everything's similar!

Roast Minotaur

Kagura I want some minotaur!

Gedo As expected, Gintoki-sama does not fear any devil.

Shin Don't just admire him!

Shin We're in trouble!

Shin We can leave, right?!

Shin We're safe, right?!

Gedo Actually, the foreign devils have been invading our turf,

Gedo much like what is happening in the real world.

Gedo Satan's getting a little cocky. I should teach him a lesson.

Shin Stop it! That's not our style!

Shin Let Jump Square handle that!

Gedo You're right.

But we might find a good present here.

Shin It seems rather inconsiderate to purchase

a Christmas present in the demon world!

Gedo Darkness makes light brighter!

Shin There's only darkness here!

Shin Right now, our futures and your character are completely dark!

Kagura Hey, Gedomaru. How's this?

Kagura We can give it to Ana Ketsuno.

Shin We're looking for a Christmas present!

Kagura But it's a cross.

Shin With a monster impaled on it!

Fra I'm not a cross.

Fra I'm Frankenfurt.

Fra I keep evil spirits away.

Shin What's a Frankenfurt?!

Shin How can you keep evil spirits away when you're an evil spirit?!

Gedo Mind if I test it?

Fra Oh, go ahead.

Gedo No good.

Gedo It couldn't keep me away.

Gedo Next.

Shin What kind of test was that?!

Kagura How about this then?

Kagura Ana Ketsuno won't have any trouble on her demon day of the month.

Shin Why?! Why would you buy demon goods for Christmas?!

Shin And what is her demon day of the month?!

A This is a hot item right now.

A That demon has the smile of an angel.

Shin You're a demon for trying to buy this as a Christmas present!

Gedo Mind if I test it?

A Oh, go ahead.

Shin How are you going to test it?!

Gedo No good.

Gedo It couldn't beat the weight.

Gedo Next.

Shin You're missing the point!

Gin Hey, Gedomaru.

Gin How about this?

Gin For Ana Ketsuno.

Shin All that does is wash her ass!

Gin No, that's not all it does.

Shin That wouldn't even hit anything!

Shin What happened to Christmas?!

Gin She'll feel refreshed after washing her ass.

Shin How will that bring a Merry Christmas?!

A Big guy, this here is an acid shower toilet that can

wash away any f*cking shit.

Shin Do you people think Ana Ketsuno has a dirty ass?

Gedo That looks dangerous, so mind if I test it?

Shin You should stop. You should stop, Gedomaru-san.

Gedo Okay, next.

Shin You didn't even test it!

Gin It's not easy to find a present for Ana Ketsuno.

Shin Uh, let's just forget about Ana Ketsuno.

Shin We should also forget about Christmas.

Shin We really don't have time for this.

Gin You keep complaining.

Gin Help us look, Pachi-boy.

Shin Uh, I'm busy playing the straight man.

Kagura Shinpachi, do you know what people who watch Gintama

Kagura in countries that don't follow the concept of straight men say about you?

Kagura Why does that glasses kid keep yapping away?

Shin Which country is that?!

Shin You people don't realize how important my role is!

Kagura If you're mad, find a different way to distinguish yourself.

Shin Okay, but we're stuck in the demon world...

Shin Oh, excuse me.

Shin Oops, my lips just brushed against someone else's lips.

Gin What are you doing, Shinpachi?

That's just merchandise.

Kagura What are those? They're gross.

Gin They look kind of familiar...

Gin Hey, Shinpachi.

Shin Pa...

Shin Pandemonium-san.

Pan I-It can't be...

Shin Why are you here?

Shin You disappeared before my eyes...

Shin How can you be here?

Pan Sh-Shinpachi-kun...

Shin Pandemonium-san...

Shin Pandemonium-san!

Pan Sh-Shinpachi-kun!

Shin Why?!

Gedo Well, you were acting so stupid that I couldn't help myself.

Shin I'm gonna k*ll you, bitch!

Shin Give her back!

Shin Give me back my Pandemonium-san!

Gedo Um, excuse me.

Yummy Pandemonium

Gedo Can I get a Pandemonium?

Gedo I'm sure that everyone's hungry.

Shin You're going to eat her?!

Shin She did it...

Shin She ate her right before my eyes.

Gedo It's not easy to find a present.

Gedo I never thought that giving someone something was so difficult.

Gedo This shows that I'm a heartless creature.

Gedo It was too early for me to try to be human.

Kagura Hey, get a hold of yourself.

Kagura Aren't you trying to be a movie Gian?

Kagura The point is that a heartless bastard

like you is even bothering to find a present.

Shin Are you trying to make her feel better or worse?

Gin How's this sound?

Let's try looking for something you want for a while.

Gedo Huh?

Gin You won't get anywhere wondering what she might like.

Gin So start by thinking about what you would like as a present.

Gedo But Christel-sama and I have different tastes...

Gin Just choose something.

Gedo Then I choose this.

Shin Uh, what are we going to do, Gin-san?

Shin What is that?

Kagura Oh, it's a hair ornament.

Shin A hair ornament?

Shin More like what used to be under someone's hair.

Gin Would you be happy if someone gave that to you?

Gedo No, any present from Christel-sama would make me happy.

Gin There you have it.

Gin Hey, pops. I'll take this snappy headdress.

Shin Hey, Gin-san!

Gin Two of them.

Gin I'm also buying one, so give me a discount.

Gin If she doesn't like it, I'll blame you.

Gin Make sure you give her that one so you match.

A Sorry, big guy. I can't sell that to you.

Gin Huh?

A I don't sell anything to humans.

A But I can throw together some cheap ornaments...

A ...from your skulls!

A This is brilliant!

A Some humans ended up here.

B Their skulls should fetch a pretty penny.

C I want their arms.

D I want their heads.

E I want their nails!

Shin Gin-san! What do we do?!

Gedo Oh, he was right.

Gedo A free hair ornament.

Shin I can't tell who's the bad guy here!

A I-Impossible!

A There's a Japanese demon with them!

A A crazy one!

B She's a devil-class!

C H-Hurry! Call for Lord Satan!

D A Japanese devil is invading!

D This is w*r!

Gin Gedomaru...

Gedo I'm sorry about dragging you into this.

Gedo But I'm glad.

Gedo Now I understand why humans give presents.

Gedo I thought it would be a chore, but it wasn't too bad.

Gedo Next time, I'll choose my present myself

Gedo since I now know that it's meaningless otherwise.

Gedo Gintoki-sama, I was the one who received

a wonderful present today.

Gedo Until we meet again.

Shin Huh?

Shin Wait a sec.

C There they are! They're the ones, Lord Satan!

Satan Festival

Shin Wait! Hey! Take us with you!

Santa Festival

Ana Today will be the coldest day yet this winter.

Odd Jobs Gin-chanSnack Otose

Ana The cold isn't going away, so make sure you don't catch a cold.

Ana Christmas may be over, but you want to stay vigilant.

Ana Make sure you dress warmly when you go outside.

For my master.

Ana Have a wonderful day.

Ana Be careful!

Both We will!

Pandemonium in the Air

Shin Pandemonium-san...

Shin Will I ever see you again?

Shin Pandemonium-san...

Shin I would give anything to see you one more time, Pandemonium-san...

Kagura Gin-chan, it looks like Shinpachi

left his soul back in the demon world.

Gin Once he notices the women around him

Gin instead of focusing on the woman he can never have,

Gin he'll man up.

Kagura Do you mean me? That's gross.

Gin No, you're out of the question.

Kagura But it can't be that easy to find someone.

Kagura We're talking about Shinpachi here.

Gin Fine, I'll lend a hand then.

Shin -Pandemonium-san...

Pan -I wanted to see you...

Shin -Pandemonium-san...

Pan -I wanted to see you...

Pan I wanted to see you...

Shin That voice...

Shin P-Pandemonium-san...

Shin Huh?

Shin She looks different...

Pan I wanted to see you...

Pan I wanted to see you...

Pan I wanted to see you...

Pan Yes!

Pan We Pandemoniums have come to see you.

Pan PDN!

Gin Lucky you, Sakaguchi-san.

Kagura Lucky you.

Shin Yes!

The End

Next Time

Kagura Hey, Gin-chan.

Kagura What's inside a New Year's envelope?

Kagura Do you know?

Kagura Do I get an envelope?

Gin Uh...

New Year's Envelopes Are Perfect for Dirty Jokes

Gin Next time

Gin New Year's envelopes are perfect for dirty jokes.

Kagura Um, that doesn't answer my question.

This episode was about Christmas, so the next one has to be about New Year's!!

After some anguish...Kagura finally receives her envelope?