05x51 - We're Sorry

[bunniefuu]

Odd Jobs Gin-chan

Kagura Man, the year's already over, huh?

Gin That was fast.

Gin Really sucks, doesn't it?

Gin The years pass faster as we get older.

Gin At this rate, will the years be passing at Formula speeds

when I'm an old geezer?

Kagura I've still got a long ways to go.

Gin Well, I'm already up to Ben Johnson speed, I'd say.

Gin Cause my johnson can't keep up.

Gin Don't get too cocky because you're all still young.

Gin Your johnson will fall behind soon enough.

Kagura For real?

Kagura Johnson?

Kagura I prefer Lewis over Johnson.

Kagura He's cooler.

Gin Whatever.

Gin Didn't we have a good time this year?

Shin Hell no!

Shin This is the worst time to be reusing this segment for the fifth time!

Gin You have a point.

Gin Good evening.

Gin I'm Gintoki Sakata.

Shin I'm Shinpachi Shimura.

Kagura I'm Kagura.

Shin I'm sure some of you are already aware

Shin that this will be the final episode of the Gintama anime.

Kagura It's been six years since the show first began.

Kagura After numerous accidents, complaints, fake endings,

Kagura plenty of toilet humor, and censorship...

Gin After surviving multiple fatal blunders, this show is

finally coming to an end.

Kagura So we did some brainstorming...

Shin ...to decide how we should end this show!

Gin Here is our answer!

We're Sorry

Shin So, like the episode title says,

Shin we will be using this episode

Shin as an opportunity to apologize

Shin to everyone this show may have offended.

Gin Such as Capcom, who laughed it off;

Gin Mr. Miyazaki, who didn't even notice;

Gin and ex-producer Azuma who moved onto a stress free role.

Kagura There were also many other staff who were affected.

Kagura Such as Sket Dance, which pulled some weird stuff

Kagura and *****-san.

We're sorry.Sob...

Gin And most importantly, our viewers.

All We're very sorry!

Gin Well, Shinpachi.

Gin Time to commit seppuku.

Gin You're dressed in white so you're ready to die.

Shin Why only me?!

Shin We're all dressed in white!

Kagura What's wrong?

Kagura It's time for you to take responsibility

Kagura for turning the eighth episode of the second series

Kagura into a weak recap episode!

Shin How is that my fault?!

Gin People want to see major characters die in the last episode.

Gin It's standard practice.

Gin You need to die to make this show legendary.

Shin Are you telling me to throw my life away?!

Shin And there wouldn't be any drama if I d*ed now!

I would die for nothing!

Kagura Don't worry. If it doesn't work,

we'll bring you back to life like those other shows did.

Shin We just started apologizing and we're already offending more people!

Kagura Oh, that's right.

Kagura There's something we forgot to apologize for.

Kagura Well, I'm sure everybody's figured it out,

Kagura but we won't be showing the story that was in last week's preview.

Kagura We wanted to, but there wasn't any time.

Kagura I guess we got your hopes up for nothing.

All We're sorry!

Shin You did it on purpose!

Both Shut up!

Kagura Stupid!

Kagura You actually thought the staff members could handle two long arcs in a row?!

Kagura Don't overestimate them!

Gin Yeah! And we already apologized last week!

Shin When did you do that?!

Gin Are you blind?

Gin Look at his lips move.

We're sorry.

Shin Who would get that?!

Shin That's just plain evil!

Shin And you guys aren't even sincere about apologizing!

That's not true.

Okita Don't get too worked up.

Okita We'll take over from here.

Shin The Shinsengumi members!

Okita If you need some apologizing done, we got Hijikata,

the master of cleaning up messes.

Toshi Hold on.

Toshi Why do I have to clean up their mess?

Toshi Hey, Yamazaki. Since you're dressed in white,

Toshi you might as well disembowel yourself.

Toshi Or else I'll k*ll you.

Yama Huh?! Why me?!

Yama And all I did this time around was say anpan over and over again!

Yama I didn't do anything to offend anyone!

Okita Hijikata-san, in that case, I also...

Okita I'll jam it right up your ***.

Okita ...did nothing to offend anyone.

Toshi That's bullshit! You've offended everyone under the sun!

Kondo It's the last episode, so stop fighting, boys!

Toshi Kondo-san...

Kondo I'll apologize for the Shinsengumi.

Kondo I'll lay myself bare and apologize for all the trouble we've caused.

Kondo We're sorry.

Toshi You're literally bare now!

Toshi You were planning on doing this from the start!

Gin Hey, gorilla.

Gin Considering everything you've done, an ordinary apology won't cut it!

Toshi What's ordinary about stripping buck naked?!

Gin For the last episode, you have to reveal more than before and apologize!

Kondo What's left to reveal?

Gin Your ass hair.

Kondo What?!

Okita You're very perceptive, big guy.

Gin Okay, let's shave it all off!

Kondo S-Stop it!

Okita And you need to humiliate yourself when you apologize.

Okita Prostrating yourself isn't enough.

Kondo You must be joking!

Yama Chief, can I stick anpan here?

Kondo And so, I would like to lay myself completely bare

Kondo and apologize for everything we may have done.

Kondo We're sorry!

Gin One more time!

Kondo We're sorry!

Okita One more time.

Kondo We're sorry!

Gin One more time!

Kondo We're sorry! We're sorry!

Okita One more time.

Toshi Cut it out!

Toshi I'm really sorry about this!

Apologize to the camera!!

Sa I've been hiding here for six years

Sa while watching Gin-san *** and ***!

Sa I'm sorry for being such a naughty girl, Bolshoi!

Tsu I'm sorry for being a naughty girl

Tsu who gets drunk in the middle of the day and embarrasses herself.

Tsu Just kidding, stupid!

Tsu I need booze to get me through this final episode!

Tojo I'm sorry for being a naughty boy who needs kinky play to get it up!

A Wait up!

B Pay up!

Madao I-I'm sorry!

GintamaConfessional

Hata Come in, sinful lambs. Make it quick.

Hata You failed to properly apologize at the beginning of the show.

Hata Now repent.

Kagura I'll go first.

Kagura Dear Lord, I'm supposed to be the cute heroine,

Kagura but I'm always throwing up.

Kagura I'm sorry...

Shin She threw up before God!

Kagura The memories made me throw up.

Kagura Well, God can see everything inside me,

Kagura so I spilled everything.

Shin Uh, you're not supposed to actually spill your guts.

Hata Are you done repenting?

Hata It smells bad, so let's stop.

Gin No, we haven't been throwing up for years without learning anything.

Gin There is a way to counter barf.

Hata Really? But it's the last episode.

Gin Shut up!

Gin Behold the results of our attempts to continuously improve!

Gin Kagura, it's not your fault for throwing up.

Gin It's a bodily process.

Gin Like when you suddenly get hard in class.

Gin So the key is what you do after you get hard.

Kagura So after I throw up, I should use weird light

to cover it up like those other shows do?

Shin Uh, what is this image?!

Shin It's disgusting!

Shin And why are you covering Hedoro-san's chest?!

Shin That's not needed!

Gin Hide. That's certainly an option.

Gin But when it comes to barf...

Kagura Oh, sound effects!

Kagura You can use sound effects to cover it up!

Kagura I'll give it a try!

Shin sh*t, watching them throw up makes me want to...

Hata Cut it out! You're standing before God!

Gin Wait, you still want us to repent?

Hata You bet!

Hata Look!

Hata This geezer's sick of standing in the same pose!

Hata He's gonna die! Hurry up!

Kagura We've been throwing up the entire show.

All We're sorry!

Hata Now pray.

Apologize to the camera!!

Otae Nobody cares that I want to restore our father's dojo now.

Otae I'm sorry for ever mentioning it.

Tojo I'm sorry for climaxing-ray!

Kyu I'm sorry for sending a person to the afterlife.

Madao I-I'm sorry...

Zura I present the Joi Apology Seminar for the shy person who doesn't how to apologize!

ApplauseCheers!!

Shin What is this?

Zura As a refined warrior, I believe I should teach everyone

the proper way to apologize.

Shin I see. That'll really help!

Zura First, I'll teach you how to make stubborn men apologize.

Shin Oh, it's Smile.

Shin Are you saying that they should use alcohol?

Otae Welcome.

Otae You look so young.

Otae How old are you?

Zura Let's say that I'm in my late twenties.

Zura You should never answer, "How old do I look?"

Zura That's the reply most customers will use,

so the escorts are sick of hearing it.

Shin Uh, did we need that explanation?

Shin This is turning into a hostess club seminar.

Otae Oh, forgive me.

Otae I forgot to introduce myself.

My name is Tae.

Zura O-Oh.

Zura It's bad manners to ask for her e-mail address or

phone number at this point.

Zura Wait until she's about to leave.

Shin We don't need that information!

Shin And my sister already apologized first!

Otae Oh, no!

Otae Did I get your clothes wet? Are you okay?

Shin Oh, here we go.

Shin You finally get a chance to apologize.

Zura No.

Shin Huh?

Zura Hey!

Zura These glasses are hard to hold.

A I'm very sorry!

Shin Huh? You aren't going to apologize?

Shin And you're a pretty nasty customer.

Otae Sorry, I'll make you a new one, so please wait...

Otae Excuse me, would you like a smoke?

Zura Sorry, I don't smoke.

Shin That wasn't an apology!

Shin And it didn't even make sense!

Zura I-I'm sorry...

That made sense!

Shin That's the punch line?!

Apologize to the camera!!

Saka I was too late for Ryomaden and Jin,

Saka but at least I didn't miss the Year of the Dragon!

Saka And wait, Zuraki-san!

Saka How could you go to Smile without me?!

Saka I'm sorry Oryo-chan.

Saka I promise to visit this year!

Kamui What? Apologize?

Kamui Are you talking to me?

Kamui I who only appeared in one episode in the second series?

Kamui I'll k*ll you.

Otose Don't be sad because it's the last episode!

Cath You still have We are Old TamaCure!

Empty Smile Ultra Peace!

Apologize to the camera!!

Tama I'm sorry for offending so many people in a matter of seconds.

Madao I'm sorry.

Mata This is great, Shinsuke-sama!

Mata We made it in time!

Bansai It seems that they want us to apologize.

Takechi I believe we should do as they want this time.

Mata Well, I understand how you feel!

Mata I understand how you feel, but we barely get any screen time as it is!

Bansai The Kiheitai episode was a little bloody.

Taka I'm sorry.

Taka I shouldn't be so violent.

Taka But I really want to destroy...

Taka ...the Greater Edo Ordinance Regarding the Healthy Development of Youths!

Kagura This turned into a typical random episode.

Kagura We got all these people here and we still can't make it work?

Kagura Are you zeros?

Kagura Total zeros?

Kagura Are you going to spend the rest of your lives as zeros?

Gin Kagura-chan, don't say that.

Gin We're trying the best we can!

Shin Exactly! Tell it like it is, Gin-san!

Shin It's been a mess, but we've been apologizing!

Kagura What are you talking about?

Kagura We haven't done any apologizing. The producers have...

Shin Hey! Stop talking!

Shin That's a delicate issue!

Shin It's gotten pretty touchy!

Gin Think about it, Kagura.

Gin We've done some stupid things, but we've always apologized.

Kagura Really?

Gin Sure!

Gin Let's look back!

Shin I-I'm sorry.

Shin We're sorry! We're really sorry!

Shin We'll lick your boots, so forgive us!

Gin Sorry about that.

Gin I got too cocky.

Gin I'm sorry!

Madao I'm very sorry.

Sa Sorry...

Sa Sorry.

Sa Sorry.

Sa Please forgive me.

Zura Teehee, I got caught.

Zura Sorry!

Toshi I'm sorry!

Toshi I'm sorry!

Toshi Please! Please spare my life!

Matsu Sorry. Bye.

All We're sorry!

Cath I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Shin I'm sorry!

Toshi My bad.

Kondo Oh. Sorry.

A I'm sorry!

B I'm terribly sorry.

C Sorry.

Gin Yeah, sorry about that.

A Sorry.

B I'm sorry.

Gin We deeply apologize.

Kagura Oh, we've done more apologizing than I realized.

Shin No idea who we were apologizing to, though.

Gin Yeah, everybody's forgotten that we can be serious at times.

Gin I'm sure you've all forgotten my touching apology.

Both Touching apology?

Gin Yes, my touching apology!

Gin Damn old man!

Jirocho Kid!

Gin I'm sorry.

Jirocho No, I'm the one who's sorry.

Gin I will keep my promise and survive.

Gin In return...

Jirocho You will keep your promise and...

Gin No, first...

Both I'm sorry.

Gin Right?

Shin The hell are you on?!

Shin That never happened!

Shin Don't start rewriting history!

Kagura You ruined a good scene! Don't put words in Jirocho's mouth!

Toshi I guess this is it.

I'm surprised they even lasted this long.

Okita Let's go drink.

Okita Without Hijikata-san.

Toshi Eh?!

Kyu Tae-chan, please come drink at my place.

Otae Oh, that's a good idea.

Madao Yay! Free food!

Tojo Lady! I already booked us at ***!

Otose Tama, if Gintoki drinks himself cold, take all his possessions.

Tama Understood, Lady Otose.

Cath We won't leave a single ass hair.

Sa Hey! Gin-san's ass hair is mine!

Tsu What are you fighting about? Foolishness.

Zura I guess I'll go home and take a Joi by myself.

Yama Don't you mean, take a bath?!

Yama And you realize that you're surrounded by cops!

Kondo Zaki, that's enough for today.

Yama Huh?

Kondo We should go drink instead of wasting our time on this Odd Jobs mess.

Toshi That's true.

Toshi Well, let's call it a wrap.

All Huh?

Gin Th-That's...

Gin The gorilla author!

Me

Gin That stinks!

Gin What is this?

Shin It looks like a letter.

Gin Kagura, you don't have to stay in character, so read this letter.

Kagura Okay.

A We would like to thank everyone

A who has supported the Gintama anime this entire time.

A This show will be ending for now,

A but it has nothing to do with

A any trouble we may have caused.

A And it has nothing to do with the fact that

A the animation staff faithfully adapted every dirty joke.

A And it has nothing to do with the fact that I can no longer eat fried chicken.

A And it has nothing to do with the fact that director Fuji** got divorced.

A There was never any internal strife.

A The only strife was in director Fuji**'s household.

A If you want a reason, it's because the producer suddenly shaved his head,

A so we could no longer sacrifice his hair as a way to apologize

A when something went wrong.

A So you don't need to be sad.

A We promise that when his hair is long enough

A for him to be frequenting hostess clubs again,

A we'll return and shave his head again.

A So wipe away those tears. Cheer up.

A We ask someone out there to send director Fuji** arranged marriage proposals.

A This isn't the end.

A So we don't intend to say goodbye.

A There's only one thing for us to say.

A We're sorry!

A If we ever meet again, we'll have reflected

upon our behavior and cleaned up our act,

A to bring you a powered-up Gintama.

A That's what it will take.

A On behalf of the Gintama staff, I promise you this.

A No matter what happens,

A the Gintama staff and Gintama

A will never give up (on dirty jokes)!

Sorachi I want to be a cheese steamed bun!

Shin Gin-san, the gorilla left.

Kagura Should we b*at him up later?

Gin Stupid.

Gin You should know the answer.

Gin We just kind of popped back up,

Gin so when it's time to close down,

Gin we'll pop out!

Both Yeah!

All So long, everyone!

All Sorry that we'll never give up (on dirty jokes)!