01x02 - Martha Gets Spooked / Martha Changes her Luck

[bunniefuu]

MAN:
* Martha was an average dog

* She went... and... and...
(barking, growls)

* When she ate
some alphabet soup *

* Then what happened
was bizarre... *

On the way to Martha's stomach,
the letters lost their way.

They traveled to her brain
and now...

* She's got a lot to say

* Now she speaks...

How now, brown cow?

* Martha speaks, yeah,
she speaks and speaks *

* And speaks and speaks
and speaks... *

What's a caboose?

When are we eating again?

* Martha speaks...

Hey, Joe, what do you know?

My name's not Joe.

* She's not always right,
but still that Martha speaks. *

Hi, there!

* She's got a voice,
she's ready to shout *

* Martha will tell you
what it's all about *

* Sometimes wrong
but seldom in doubt *

* Martha will tell you
what it's all about *

* That dog's unique...

Testing, one, two!

* Hear her speak

* Martha speaks and speaks

* And speaks and speaks
and... *

* Communicates, enumerates

* Elucidates, exaggerates

* Indicates and explicates

* Bloviates and overstates
and... *

(panting)

* ...hyperventilates!

* Martha, to reiterate

Martha speaks!
* Martha speaks.

Greetings, seekers of knowledge.

I foresee a great show
in your future,

a show with words
like "superstition" and "fluke,"

"coincidence" and "luck."

Yes, it's creepy, spooky
and logically impossible.

I see a little cottage
in the woods

covered in snow,

and there's
a little red sleigh.

Hey, mister, can I have
my snow globe back?

I see a great show
in your future.

It's in the cards.

Watch.

I've got another basket
for delivery.

Oh, it may be
too big for you.

I can do it.

I'm small, but I'm mighty.

(chuckles)
You certainly are.

So, it's going to...

Sycamore?

No one's lived
in that house for years.

When I was a kid,
we thought it was haunted.

(gulps, gasps)

Haunted?

Mm-hm. Sí.

We'd hear all sorts
of eerie sounds

coming from
that place.

Uh, whatever "eerie" is,
I don't like it.

It sounds spooky.

It is.

"Eerie" means
something's strange

and a little scary.

(whimpers)

Oh, Martha.

We were just
being silly kids.

That house
isn't haunted.

You're sure?

Claro.

There's no such thing
as ghosts.

They're about as real

as Big Minnie.
(gasps)
Big Minnie!

Someone must finally be
fixing up the old place.

Tell them, if they
ever need anything,

our door is
always open.

Ghosts don't need doors.

They just walk through walls.

(shutters creaking,
wind whistling)

If I were a ghost,
I'd definitely live here.

This house is creepy.

(sneezes)

Thank goodness
Great Aunt Martha

left us this house
in her will.

(sneezes)

But we'd still
have our own house,

if you hadn't sold it
during a pickle panic.

(sneezes)

(whines)
Don't point at me.

You're the one
who's gullible.

Gullible?
Gullible?!

Yes, gullible.

You can be tricked into
believing anything.

If that isn't gullible,
I don't know what is.

(sneezes, whines)

Well, If I'm gullible,
I've got good company.

(shutter bangs)
(screams)

What was that?

A g-ghost.

Really?

I rest my case.

Gullible!

I can't help it--
it's this house.

It's so eerie.

When I was young, everyone
thought it was haunted.

(whimpers)

(door creaks)
Hello?

Special delivery.

(gulps)

This is just
what I was afraid of.

(gasps)

I'm doomed!

(gasps)

(sighs, groans)

I hate these sheets.

It's impossible to tell ghosts
from furniture.

(creaking in distance)

He... hel... hello?

Anybody home?

(shouts)

(creaking, thud)

(gasps)
What was that?

How could anybody live here?

It's so eerie.

(floor creaking)

(growling)

(gasp)
What is it, John?

(whimpering)
Is it a ghost?

(whining)

That's highly unlikely.

If you're not going to
protect us, I will.

That's even more unlikely.

Who... who's there?

(stammering):
It's me...

Martha.

(gasps)
M-Martha?

It can't be.

But it is.

And I brought you this.

(screaming)

(screaming)

It was a ghost.

That's impossible.

No, it's not--
"impossible" means

there's no way something
could happen.

But this did happen!

So that means it is possible.

There are ghosts, and I saw one!

What was it like?

It was white and floaty
and very creepy.

It swooped at my head.

Really?

You are so gullible.

I'm telling you, it happened!

MAN:
Now, dear,

I'm sure there's a
logical explanation

for what you saw.

You bet there is.

It was a ghost!

(John whimpering)

Well, that's
not logical.

For a thing to
be logical,

it has to come
from facts,

not from silly
superstitions.

I'm not being silly
or superstitious.

The fact is,
we are being haunted

by my Great Aunt Martha.

Well, that's very unlikely.

But I heard her!

She said,
"It's me, Martha."

And she brought us
flowers.

Boy, if there
is a ghost,

I'd sure like to get
a picture of it.

You may be in luck.

Huh?
Huh?
Huh?

I just spoke
with the lady

who ordered
the flowers.

They should have gone
to Sycamore,

not .

So, a ghost didn't order
flowers after all?

(chuckling):
No.

But I need someone
to get that bouquet

and deliver it
to the correct address.

Not a chance!

There is no way
I'm going in that house again.

I'll do it.

Helen, you can't!

It's too dangerous.

You could get eaten
by a ghost!

Eaten by a ghost?

I'm coming, too!

Just let me get my camera.

(door creaking)

Why won't this door stay closed?

Because a ghost
keeps opening it.

That is not
a logical explanation.

Okay, Mr. Logical
Explanation.

Explain that.

Yuck!

There's something on the handle.

(gasps)

It's ghost slime!

I've read about
such things.

Well, that's impossible.

It feels like dog slobber.

(both gasp)

Aunt Martha!
Aunt Martha!

(sighs)

All your talk about ghosts
has got me jumpy!

Ah, this might

give some explanation.

Explanation?

An explanation is when
someone tells you

why something
happened.

What's it
going to say?

Dear Niece,
the reason why I'm haunting you

is because I'm a ghost.

I can't help it.

Signed, your spooky
Great Aunt Martha.

Anyway, ghosts
can't write.

They can't deliver
flowers, either.

It's impossible
to read in this light.

I thought the power
was supposed

to be turned on today.

Maybe the ghost
turned it off.

(sighs)
That's highly unlikely.

(birds cawing)

(sighs)

I didn't know it
was like going

in one of the Boxwood's
Halloween Houses.

I told you it
was spooky.

Want me
to go instead?

I like creepy things.

The creepier,
the better.

I'll come with you.

No.

If anyone does live here,
it'll be better

if only
one of us is trespassing.

Why?

Ghosts can't sue.

(door creaking)

Look, it's doing the
eerie door thing again.

Hello? Anybody home?

Helen, wait!

I want to take your picture.

(with spooky voice):
It could be the last time

any of us sees you alive.

(sinister laughter)

(anxious sigh)

Okay.

There's no need to be scared.

There's a logical explanation
for what Martha saw.

(doorknob turns,
door creaks open)

(gasps)
I hope.

Hmm.

That's strange.

I don't like Helen
being in

that spooky house
by herself.

I'm going after her.

You wait here.

And miss all the fun?

Not a chance!

That'll keep you closed.

Helen!

(pounding on door)
Helen!
(gasps)

Who's that?

Maybe it's a
ghost friend

of my Great Aunt
Martha's.

(both gasp)

(door slams)

(gasps)

The flowers...

Great.

I can't wait to get out
of this creepy house.

If there are ghosts,

maybe they'll think I'm one
of them and leave me alone.

So, do you think we're
being haunted now?

Mm-hmm.

That ghost has
Helen trapped.

I've got to save her.

Oh, man!

Why does Helen get
to be trapped with a ghost,

and not me?

(screams)
(barks)

Hey, you ghost, you!

What've you done
with my Helen?

Martha! It's me!

(grunting)

What's wrong with this door?

TD:
I think it's locked.
Great.

Now how am I supposed
to get out of here?

There's got to be another
door somewhere.

Look in the kitchen.

HELEN:
I will, if I
can find it.

It's pretty dark
in here.

Look around
for a flashlight.

Haunted houses always
have flashlights.

(Helen groans)

We'll look
out here, too.

Hmm, what do you know.

(growling)

(yelping)

The ghosts have
the front door blocked,

but we can still get out
through the kitchen.

(footsteps approaching
from inside)

(gasps)
What?

What is it?

I hear footsteps.

It's the ghost.

And it's heading towards Helen.

I've got to stop it.

(sniffing)
You stay here.

If I'm not back in five
minutes, go get help.

But I'm missing out
on everything.

(grunts)

It's stuck.

(grunting)

(gasping)

Mr. and Mrs. Parkington!

(both scream)

(pounding on door)
Helen!

(groans)

(both screaming)

HELEN:
Let me in!
I can explain!

(pounding on door)
TD:
You guys! Let me in!

We're surrounded!

There are ghosts
everywhere.

Ask them what they want.

Who... who-who-who
are you?

I told you!
(both scream)

I'm Martha!

What do you want?

I just want to get Helen
and go home!

I told you
they were friends.

Please,
just open the basement door,

and I promise I'll go away
and I'll never come back.

I'd do it myself,
but I don't have thumbs.

I didn't know ghosts
didn't have thumbs.

(gasping)
(screams)

Helen!
Martha!

(grunting)

Got it!

(camera clicks)

(both scream)

I'm sorry for scaring you,
Mr. and Mrs. Parkington.

It was all a mistake.

Martha, how many times

do I have
to explain it to you?

It wasn't a ghost,
it was the Parkingtons.

Oh, yeah?
But who's this?

TD:
It's a ghost!

Yeah, a ghost.

Come on,
that's impossible.

I'm sure there's
a logical explanation

for everything in that picture.

Oh, yeah?

Then explain this
eerie white stuff.

That's easy.

The flash from
your camera caused it.

Okay.

Explain this
spooky-looking lady

in the background.

Yeah! Explain that!

There's a portrait
of an old lady

in the living room.

That's probably
what that is.

Okay.

But I took this picture
from the kitchen door.

Explain how a painting
in the living room

came through
the kitchen wall.

Huh? It couldn't.

That's impossible.

Yeah, impossible.

But maybe a ghost did!

Yeah, that would
explain everything!

Oh!

You two are impossible.

But why?

Why do you have to go?

I told you.

Going to the movies
is better

than watching them
at home.

Why?

What have they got
that's so special?

Well, they have popcorn.

We've got that!

And cold drinks.
Us, too!

Hmm.

And comfy seats.

Ditto!

I tell you what
they've got.

No dogs!

(puzzled grunt)

MARTHA:
So why are you going again?

I want to see
this new movie--

The Curse
of the Cursed.

Ooh-woo.

You're want to see a movie
with bad words in it?!

(gasps)
Wait till Mom finds out!

(laughing):
It's not that kind of curse.

When someone is cursed,
it means they have bad luck.

Like us right now.

Look!

Oh, phooey.

I wish that ladder
wasn't there.

What's the big deal?

Just walk under it.

Mm-mm. Not a chance.

It's bad luck.

That's just
a superstition.

Superstition?

Who's that?
Some kind of superhero?

No. A superstition is a belief

in something
that isn't real, like magic.

It would take some magic
to walk under a ladder

and not get bad luck.

Carolina, the reason you
shouldn't walk under a ladder is

'cause it's dangerous.

Yeah! There's
a real danger

you could get
bad luck.

No. The danger

is something could fall
on your head.

Correcto.
'Cause got you got bad luck

from walking under a ladder.

MARTHA:
Hey!

You're both wrong.

I walked under
and nothing happened.

Watch!

(singsongy):
I'm under a ladder.

I'm under the ladder.

Ha-ha-ha-ha...

(groans)

(sighs)

Maybe Carolina's right.

Maybe there's something
to this bad luck stuff.

I mean, first the paint,
now a bath.

What next,
a trip to the vet?

(barks, whines)

I wouldn't be surprised.

When you're jinxed, all kinds
of things go wrong.

Jinxed?

What's that mean?

It's like having a cloud of
bad luck all around you,

all the time, todo el tiempo.

Oh...
(shudders)

I feel it.

I feel the bad luck cloud.

It's like a big, wet blanket.

That's not a cloud,

it's your bath towel.

Oh.

(Carolina and Helen scream)

There's no such thing
as a curse

or being jinxed.

I mean, bad stuff happens,

but it's not like
you make it happen.

Unless you walk under a
ladder and get cursed.

(moans)

Martha, the reason
you got a bath is

because you got
splooshed by paint.

And the reason you got
splooshed by paint is

because there was
an open paint can

on the ladder
you backed into.

There is no curse.

It was just an accident.

Really?
Promise.

Carolina's just
being superstitious.

Whoopee!

You hope.

Yeah! Waah!

(laughing, whooping)

(mirror shatters)

(gasps)

Oops, sorry.

CAROLINA:
Do you know
what this means?

Seven years bad luck!

(whimpers)

I'm doomed! Doomed!

One people year
equals seven dog years!

That's years
bad luck!

Man, oh, boy,
am I ever jinxed.

What do I do, what do I do?

Take a really long nap?

(sighs)

(whimpers, sniffs)

If you were really jinxed,

would I share my yummy peanut
butter sandwich with you?

(sighs)

Zowie!

This pup's luck is
about to change.

Don't bet on it.

Hey!

(clicking tongue)

(groans)

Doomed.

That was just
a fluke.

What's a fluke?

Is it another word for cursed?

No, it means it was
just an accident.

Here, try again.

You'll get it this time.

No I won't.

I'm jinxed.

I don't stand a chance.

(whines)

Where are you going?

To play with Jake.

Your dog's
a downer.

(sighs)

(Skits barks)

Okay, Skits,

this one's going long.

(grunts)

(Martha sighs deeply)

(groaning)

Good boy, Skits.

Okay, fetch!

Come on, Martha,
play fetch with us.

What's the point?

There's no chance
I'd catch anything.

Not for another years.

You definitely won't
if you don't try.

TD:
Hey, guys.

Want to go to the park
and fly my new kite?

(sighs):
Doomed.

What's wrong with her?

She broke a mirror,
so now she thinks she's cursed.

Oh, wow.

That's too bad.

I know just how you feel.

You do?
Sure.

Once I had
a streak of bad luck

that lasted two whole months!

Really? What happened?

It was really strange.

My throat got sore
and it wouldn't get better.

And I had to go to the hospital
and have surgery.

Leaping liverwurst.

Then, all of a sudden,
my luck changed,

and people
brought me ice cream

and my throat got all better.

Wow!
That wasn't bad luck.

You just needed
to get your tonsils out.

That's what
my parents said.

But it's kind of a
strange coincidence,

if you ask me.

Coinci-wha...?

Coincidence.
It's when two things happen

at the same time,
so you think one thing

made the other thing
happen, but it didn't.

Like what?

Mm, like if I said,

"Gee, I wish I had
an ice cream cone,"

and an ice cream truck
showed up-- aah!

(happy melody playing
over speakers)

How did you do that?

It was a coincidence.

Yeah, right.

(sighs):
I'm surrounded
by superstitious people.

MARTHA:
If I'm not cursed,

then why was he sold out
of vanilla ice cream, huh?

It was a fluke.

Vanilla was popular today.

I'd let you have
some of my chocolate,

but it's dog poison.

Doomed.
TD:
Hey, Martha.

Cheer up.
It could be worse.

(sighs):
How?

I saw a movie about a guy
who was so jinxed,

his bad luck rubbed off
on everybody else

and he had to go live in a cave.

Uh-oh.

Uh, it's happening.

I-I-I'm like that movie guy.

I don't want to live in a cave.

I've got to get rid
of this curse.

I know!

Eat lots of ice cream.

It worked for me.

Right. Quick, Helen.

Do that ice cream truck
thing again.

Only this time,
bring one with vanilla.

You guys, it was a fluke.

It's not like
I snap my fingers

and an ice cream truck appears.

(happy melody playing)

(Skits barks)
Cool!
Thanks, Helen!

(groans):
It was a fluke!

So? Did it work?

Is your curse gone?

I hope.

I feel different,

but it could
just be belly bloat.

(Skits barks)

Hi, Mom!
Hola.

(gasps)
Oh, no!

Mis flores.

My flowers, they're wilted.

(gasps)

It's my fault. I'm cursed!

And it's catching!

Martha! Wait!

Oh, darn,
a flat tire.

Yikes!
Did it again!

(gibbering)

Stay back, Jakey.

I don't want
to jinx you, too.

CAROLINA:
Jakey! ¿Dónde estás?

(jabbers)

Too late!

(crying)

I've got to get
away from here.

Everyone I meet
has an accident.

Yuck!

(giggles)

Martha! Soup's on!

Martha?

Mom, have you seen Martha?

Not since you guys
stopped by the shop.

I wonder where she is?

(sighs)

I wish my luck would change.

(horn honks, tires screech)

Sorry!

If I had the chance
to do it over,

I'd never walk
under that ladder.

Or break that mirror.

(yelps, dishes break)

Sorry!

(boy yelling in distress)

(boy grunts, moans)

Sorry!

(laughter on TV,
Mom, Dad and Jake laughing)

Where are you off to?

To find Martha.

I think she's run away.

She thinks she's bad luck.

I had no idea Martha
was so superstitious.

Martha!

Martha!

Ooh, better stay away from me.

Oh, no.

(glass breaks)
Sorry!

Martha! Martha!

(sighs)

Hey, maybe my luck is changing.

(thunder rumbles)

Or maybe that was just a fluke.

(shudders, whimpers)

HELEN:
Martha!

Huh? That's close enough.

My bad luck may already
have rubbed off on you.

But I hope not.

I don't believe in that
superstitious stuff.

It's not real.

Oh, yeah? Tell that
to Mom's wilted flowers,

or Dad's flat tire,

or Jake's sore tushy.

There's a perfectly good reason
all that stuff happened.

Yeah, the reason is I'm cursed.

That's not a reason.

That's a superstition.

A reason explains why
things happen.

Yeah? So how
do you explain

the flowers
and the bus?

The sprinklers
weren't turned on,

that's why Mom's flowers wilted.

And Dad's bus ran over a nail,

that's why the tire
went flat.

Um, what about Jake?

He fell down.

What's your reason for that?

It was an accident.

Babies fall down.

It's not your fault.

Bad things happen.

But not because you
walk under a ladder,

or break a mirror
or anything.

So what can I do?

Well, whenever things
are going badly for me,

I try to have a good attitude.

And I spend lots of time
with a really good friend.

Like you.

You always make
things better.

You do, too.

And before I know it,

things start
going good again.

Yeah, you're right.

Let's go home.

Hungry?
Uh-huh.

You know what I wish?

I wish I had
some ice cream.

(sighs):
It was a fluke.

Aw, come on.

Give it a shot.

(sighs):
Fine.

(happy melody playing)

(gasps)
Thanks.

It was a coincidence!

A coincidence!

People have many
superstitious beliefs.

For instance,
that the number is bad luck.

Or that opening an umbrella
inside the house is bad luck.

(startled shout)

There are also
superstitions about things

that are supposed
to bring you good luck.

For instance,
crossing your fingers

is supposed to bring good luck.

A four leaf clover is
supposed to bring good luck,

as are horseshoes.

Some people believe that if you
blow out all the candles

on your birthday cake
in one breath,

your wish will come true.

But none of these things
will actually

bring you good or bad luck.

They're just superstitions.

I hope you've removed

all superstitious beliefs
from your mind.

Knock on wood.

(gasps)

(groans)

Just my luck.

Well, that's our show.

Were you lucky enough
to catch all of today's words?

Let's see them again.

No, a superstition
is a belief in something

that isn't real, like magic.

Eerie means something strange
and a little scary.

Coincidence.
It's when two things

happen at the same time,
so you think one thing

made the other thing happen,
but it didn't.

See you next time.

Uh, got any sevens?

Go fish.

(sighs)

Just my luck.