05x09 - The Wild Wild West/Angelica for a Day

[bunniefuu]

[Cymbals crash]

[Light percussive music]

♪ ♪

- Ooph!

♪ ♪

[Gasps]

[Twins giggle]

♪ ♪

- [Gasps]

- [Groans]

Ugh.

♪ ♪

[Milk squishes]

[Bright adventurous music]

♪ ♪

- Now, this book is one of
my personal favorites, sprouts.

Heroes and outlaws
of the wild, wild west.

[Laughs]

Course, they haven't got
all the stories right.

But fortunately,
I met a lot of these fellas

During my 15 years
wrangling doggies

Down on the prairie.

Yessir, like this fella,
wild bill hickok.

Now, he was a true friend
of the native americans.

In fact, that's him sharing
a peace pipe

With some of his buddies.

And this gent's name
was wyatt earp,

And this young lady was
a sweetheart

Named calamity jane.

But for every good guy and gal
on the open range,

You had your villains too,

Like cactus kate.

She was the meanest outlaw
that the wild west had to offer.

[Yawns]

[Snoring]

[Both grunting]

Rip!

- Angelica!

That doesn't belong to you.

- But I need something to cut
with my cynthia safety scissors.

- Well, you'll just have
to make do, angelica.

Now where were we?

[Stammers]
oh, oh, yes.

In 1872, cactus kate robbed
the bank in cheyenne

All by her lonesome.

She was so mean
that the only ones brave enough

To chase after her were
wild bill hickok,

Wyatt earp, and calamity jane.

[Yawns]

Her trail led them across
a raging river,

Then through a dark forest

And up a rocky mountain...

[Yawning]

Before they finally got
to cactus kate's secret hideout.

And once they got there,

They had to figure--
figure out how to...

[Snoring]

- There's got to be some paper
around here somewhere.

- Coupons!

Hey, get your coupons
right here!

- Hey, he's giving paper
to those kids.

I want some!

[Honking horn]

- [Snoring]

- I think it's naptime.

- Coupons!

Coupons! Coupons!

Hey, get your coupons
right here!

[Horn honking]

Coupon!

- Hey, can I have
one of those?

- Sure thing.

- Ooh, I wouldn't do that
if I were you.

- Why not?

- Because these coupons

Are for free ice cream cones

From that little truck
that comes around.

Hee-hee, well, that covers
the pool kids.

Break time.

- Hey, mister!

Um, thanks for the coupon.

- Mm-hmm.

- [Laughs]

- Angelica!

Those were supposed to be

For all the babies
on the playground.

You can't take them all
for yourself.

- Oh, yeah?
I can, and I will.

And when that truck gets here,

I'm gonna eat all
those ice cream cones myself.

[Laughs]

Now get out of my way, babies.

I'm heading
to the bestest hideout

In the whole park,

And I dare you or anybody else

To try and stop me.

- In the name of the slaw,

We're here to stop you,
cactus kate!

- Cactus kate, the robber?

- That's right.

And I'm wild bill hiccup.

And these are my friends,

Wile burp

And, um, clammy jane!

- We are?
- We are?

- Yup!
And these are your horsies.

- You call those horsies?

- Uh, yup.

- Well, horsey or no horsey,

You'll never catch me, hiccup.

[Laughs]

[Honks horn]

- Are you with me, guys?

- Let's head out.

- [Laughs]

- You two kicked butt!

I always knew my kids would be
the fastest in swim class.

[Both slurping]

- Hey, sleeping
on the job there, lou?

- Huh?
Me, sleeping?

Nope, no, sirree.

Just telling
the sprouts there

About the heroes
of the old west.

- Aw, they're not gonna
understand any of that stuff.

[Horn honking]

- Hey!
- You messed up our blankie.

- [Gasps]
look!

Cactus kate's gonna cross
the river.

- How are we ever
gonna catch her?

- The nakie americans
can help us!

- Nakie americans?

They look scary.

- They're not scary, chuckie.

Don't you remember grandpa
telling us about them?

They're our friends.

[Horse chuffs]

Howdy, friends.

- Hi.

- Are you playing witches?

- No, we're cowboys,

And you're the nakie americans

Who are gonna help us
get cactus kate.

- Cactus kate?

- The meanest, mostest selfish
cowboy in the wild, wild west.

- Whoa!

[Grumbling]

- So do you guys know a way
we can cross the river?

Both: uh...

- Don't you have a trees pop
for us to share before we leave?

- Trees pop?

- I think I got one.

Hmm.

[Tribal drumming]

- [Slurps]

- [Slurps]

- You've gots to, chuckie.

It's the trees pop.

- D'oh, all right.

[Slurps]

Mm, this is good.

[Both strain]

- Bye!
- Bye!

- Tommy, I think
we got a problem.

- [Gasps]

Look, you guys!
Splash!

[Suspenseful music]

[All yelp]

- [Gasps]

[Air sputtering]

[All gasp]

- Quick, the trees pop!

[Grunts]

[All grunt]

- Wild bill hiccup,

Just 'cause you made it
across the river

Doesn't mean
you're gonna get me!

The ice cream is all mine!

- Come on!

- I don't know, guys.

It looks pretty dark in there.

What if we get lost
from each other?

- Hey!
- Just hold the rope.

That way we'll stick together.

♪ ♪

- Maybe I should just wait here
with the canoe.

♪ ♪

- [Laughs]

- Tommy?

Susie?

Help.

- [Laughs]

- There she is!

- [Wailing]
help!

- Chuckie.
He's still in the forest.

We gots to save him.

- So long, suckers!

- Hold the rope.

It'll help me get back
after I find chuckie.

Chuckie!

- Over here!

- Where?

- Here!

- Where?

[Both grunt]

- Right here.

Thanks for finding me, hiccup.

- [Sighs]
okay, I'll go firstest.

[Gasps]

[Bright adventurous music]

♪ ♪

[Ominous musical flourish]

- Tommy, come on!

- Whoa!
[Whimpers]

- [Laughs]

- Chuckie, you got
to help tommy.

- [Wails]

- [Whimpers]
- hurry!

- [Whimpers]

[Stammering]

Got you!

[Both grunting]

- Thanks, burp.

- Oh, what are we gonna do now?

- What I do best.

Crawl!

Follow me.

♪ ♪

[Suspenseful music]

- [Gasps]

- [Gasps]

The ice cream coupons.

- But where's cactus kate?

- Maybe she figured
that we'd catch her

Unless she left them behind.

- You mean we scared her?

- I'm not so sure.

[All grunt]

- [Laughs]

Did you really think
you were smarter than me,

You dumb babies?

Now I'll leave you here

And get all the ice cream
for myself.

- You can't beat us!

We're the good guys.

- You've been listening
to the wrong stories, hiccup.

The bad guys win lots of times,

And now there's nothing
you can do

Except wait for my friends
to find you.

- [Gasps]
- friends?

[Rattling]

All: rattle skates!

- It was nice doing business
with you.

So long.

[People whooping]

- Oh, no!

[Whooping continues]

Nakie americans!

- Cactus kate,
you let our friends go!

- [Snoring]
- [straining]

- Hmm, didn't realize
that angelica was so popular

With the little ones.

- So what are you gonna do
to me?

- Nothing,
if you say the magic words.

- Never!

- Say it or else.

[Suspenseful music]

- No!

Not baby kisses!
Blah!

All right, all right,
all right!

I'm--i'm--i'm sorry!

- Thanks, you guys.

These coupons are for everybody.

- What do we do with them?

- Hey, one for you

And one for you and one for you,
you little whippersnapper.

And one for you
and one for angelica

And one for me, tutti frutti.

- Gee, angelica,
thanks for sharing.

[Laughter]

- Yeah.

[Dubious twinkling music]

♪ ♪

- I don't care!

I want ice cream,
and I want it now!

- [Chuckles]

Wouldn't want to be
in that guy's shoes.

- Angelica, how come your daddy
doesn't like

That other daddy's shoes?

- Don't you babies
know anything?

If you wear
somebody else's shoes,

You start being just like them,

And my daddy would never want
to be like that mean daddy

That won't give
his little princess ice cream.

- Oh.

- [Panting]

- So if I put on his shoes,

I'd want to run every place?

- If I put on her shoes,

I'd want all my friends
to be birds?

- Mm, something like that.

Now if you're done with
your dumb little baby questions,

I'm gonna go play
at big kid mountain.

- Um, what's big kid mountain,
angelica?

- Only the bestest place to play
in the whole park.

But you babies are too little
to play there,

So you just stay here and play
with your baby toys.

[Humming]

[Kids laughing]

- Wow.

- Come on, chuckie.

I want to play
on big kid mountain too.

- Um, but angelica said
we're too little.

- Chuckie, angelica's the one
who told us

We'd float away to the moon

Unless we put sand
in our pockets.

Now come on.

[Wondrous music]

- [Gasps]

[Laughter]

Let's go, chuckie.

[Suspenseful music]

Chuckie.

- Um, um, well, um,
you don't--

Look, tommy.

There's a great mud puddle
over there.

Let's make mud houses,

And maybe we can climb
the mountain later,

Like tomorrow or never.

- But...

Oh, okay.

- Too bad, tommy.

If your dumb little baby friend
was more braver like me,

Maybe you'd have
a funner time.

[Laughs]

- I'm sorry, tommy.

- Eh, that's okay, chuckie.

I'll get some sticks,
and you get some grass,

And we'll make
the bestest mud houses

In the whole world.

- Okay.

[Humming]

- Hey, what do you think
you're doing?

- Oh, I'm just getting
some grass

To make mud houses.

- Yeah?
Well, this is our grass.

So just get off it!

- [Gulps]

Okay, mr. Big kid, sir.

Okay, I'll just put this back.

Sorry for walking
on your grass.

- Something wrong, chuckie?
- No.

I-i just didn't know all
the grass belongs

To those two babies.

- No, it doesn't.

The grass belongs
to everybody.

- Well, sort of, but it really
belongs more to them,

'Cause they're, um,
big and mean.

- Chuckie, you can't just be
scared all the time.

Come on.

[Martial drumming]

- Come on, kids.
Time for your nap.

- Whew.

Just in the neck of time.

- Daddy, I'm gonna go play
in the sand box.

- Sure, princess.

- Sorry, tommy.

Maybe I won't be so scared
after my nap.

[Snores]

- If your dumb
little baby friend

Was more braver like me,

Maybe you'd have
a funner time.

- [Sighs]

[Snoring]

- Hey, sport.
Time to wake up.

- [Yawns]

What do you want to do, tommy?

- We're gonna climb
big kid mountain!

- But we tried that once,
don't you 'member?

- I know you were scared
last time, chuckie,

But this time,
you won't be.

- I won't?
Why not?

- Remember what angelica said

About wearing
other people's shoes?

- Um, you mean that you start
being just like them?

- Right, so we if put
angelica's shoes on you,

You'll be just like her,

And you won't be as scared
to climb the mountain.

- Tommy, if I put on
angelica's shoes,

The only thing
that's gonna happen is

That she's gonna get
really, really mad.

- But you won't be scared of her
because you'll be just like her.

- I don't know, tommy.

- Let's just try it.

- [Sighs]

- Do you feel any different?

- What am I supposed
to feel like?

- Mm, maybe like you want
to be mean to someone?

- Nope.
- Mm.

Maybe we need to tie
the strings.

- And who's gonna
tie 'em, tommy?

A dumb little baby like you?

- It worked, chuckie!

You're being just like angelica.

- I am?
- Uh, um, um...

Do you want to play
on big kid mountain?

[Dramatic musical tones]

- Yeah!
I do.

- That was great, chuckie.

You climbed the mountain.

- Of course I climbed
the mountain.

What's the big deal?

Everyone can climb
the mountain

Except for little
scaredy babies.

- Hey, finster!

What do you think you're doing?

Give me my shoes!

- Uh, go eat the mud, pickles!

These aren't yours no more!

- Oh, is he in big trouble.

Ow!

[Groans]

Good thing he has big dumb feet,

'Cause when I get ahold
of him--

Um, or maybe
I'll just stay here.

I'm sure he'll bring
my shoes back soon.

Do you want to play peekaboo
while we wait, tommy?

[Shimmering tones]

- Uh, angelica?

Are you feeling, um, funny?

- Funny?
Mm, no, tommy.

Um, thank you for asking.

- I think I better go
get your shoes back from chuckie

Before he gets in trouble.

- Tommy, wait!
- What's the matter?

- I don't think I want to be
up here all by myself.

- Well, uh, okay.

I guess you better come with me.

- Thanks, tommy.

- You know...

[All gasp]

- I really don't think
digging in that sand

Is a very good idea.

- Why not?

- It's usually nothing
to worry about

Unless a big sand worm
crawls out and eats you up!

[All scream]

- [Laughs]

Now it's all mine.

- Chuckie, that was mean!

- Ah, brother, you again?

Why don't you go suck
on bottles somewheres?

- We never
should've done this, chuckie.

Now give me those shoes
and put your own shoes back on.

- No way!

These shoes are a lot more fun.

- Come on, angelica!

We got to go.

- What about
the sand worms, tommy?

They could crawl up and eat us.

- [Groans]

I got an idea.

Come on, angelica.

- And you tell your mommies
and daddies

That the onlyest way
you can play on big kid mountain

Is if you bring me
lots of cookies.

- Boy, this mud sure is fun!

- What's he up to now?

- Yup!

This is the bestest mud
in the whole world!

- What do you think
you're doing, pickles?

- Just playing in this mud.

The bestest part is taking off
your shoes

And wiggling your toes in it.

Mm, of course, some people
are too scared

To play in the mud.

- Yeah?
Well, I ain't one of 'em!

Watch out.

- Hey!

- Uh-oh.
- Oh, no.

Mean bullies.
Hide me, tommy.

- Angelica, stop!

Boy, I never thought I'd miss
the old angelica.

- I thought I told you
to get off our grass!

- This grass?
Oh, sorry.

I forgot it was yours.

Here you go.

Splat! Splat!

- [Gasps]

- [Crying]
daddy!

He got me all wet and dirty!

- Let's get out of here.
That kid's crazy.

- Dumb babies.
- [Crying]

- Now where was we?

- Um, uh, you were gonna play

In this real great mud with me.

- Oh, yeah.

Hey, wait a minute.

You're trying to trick me,
aren't you?

You want me to take
these shoes off, huh?

- I-i told him it was
a bad idea, mr. Finster, sir.

- Angelica!

- I'll teach you to play tricks.

- [Screams]

Run, angelica!

- [Yells]

- [Panting]
- ooh!

Splat!

[Deflating musical tones]

[Dramatic music]

You made me lose my shoes!

Now I'm really mad.

[Growling]

- Oh, no!
He's stuck like that.

Oh, why did I try
to change him?

Huh!

Oomph!

[Grumbling]

It was just a dream?

- [Snoring]

- Chuckie, is that you?

Are you still chuckie?

- Hey, quick shaking me.

- Oh, no!

You're still angelica.

I'm sorry, chuckie.
I'm sorry.

- Oh, no, I'm sorry, tommy.

I'm always a little cranky
when I get up from my nap.

- Chuckie, is that you?

- [Giggles]
who else would I be?

- Oh, chuckie!

I had a terrible dream.

You were like angelica,

And angelica was like you.

I don't ever want you
to change, chuckie.

I like you just the way you are.

- Look out, you dumb babies!

You're standing on
my cynthia's malibu beach house.

- Angelica, you're mean again!

- Hey, cut that out.

- Ooh, mean, mean, mean girl.

- Baby germs.
Ew!

Get away!

Stop it, tommy!

[Screeching]

Ew! Get away!

Yuck!

- Ooh, you mean,
mean, mean girl!