05x12 - Journey to the Center of the Basement/A Very McNulty Birthday

[bunniefuu]

( Snoring )

( Gasps )

( Kids laughing )

( Birds chirping )

( Roaring )

( Roaring )

( Laughing )

( Mechanical whirring )

That's a neat toy,
chuckie.

It's not just a toy, phil,
it's reptar jr.--

The funnest toy I ever had.

Okay, reptar jr.,
Who's your bestest friend?

( Pushes button )

( Squawking )

That means
"chuckie finster."

Hello?
Is this eve's plumbing?

Yeah, I'm doing a little work
around the house

And I was wondering
if I could get some advice.

Oh, no, no, no,
I'm sure I can handle it myself.

I'm very mechanically inclined.

I'm about to do some work
on my kitchen sink

And I was wondering if I should
turn off the water first.

Is that "duh, yes" or "duh, no?"

( Squawking )

The water main?

Oh, that's what
that big red handle is for.

( All gasping )

Oh, no!
( Gasping )

Reptar jr.!

( Grunts )
darn.

And now I got a light bulb out.

Yeah, I know
you're not an electrician.

Hold on a sec.

I hope this old thing
still works.

( Bubbling )

( Grunts )

Water main off.

( Creaking )

Yeah, it's your standard
kitchen sink.

It's got one of those
spouty-bobs

And the twisty thingies.

Oh, no.

He left reptar jr.
Down there.

I'll never see him
ever again.

Sure you will,
chuckie.

We'll just go in there
and get him.

But it's too scary down there.

Ooh... It's like a cave.

Lil:
yeah, just like in reptar
battles the mole people!

( Both grunting )

( Grunting, panting )

You sure I turn it to the right?

No, really,
I can take care of it myself.

( Phil gasps )

Phil:
well, look at that.

( Both laughing )

Neat.

( Lil giggling )

You guys ready
to save reptar jr.?

Yeah!
Yeah! Yeah!

Chuckie:
you betcha.

( Gulping )

Tommy...

Uh... Are you sure
you want to do this?

Tommy:
I'm not tommy,
I'm captain pickles--

Deep cave 'splorer!

Wow.

( Grunts )

( Grunts )

( Grunting )

Now, don't be
a-scared, chuckie.

Scared?

Well, why would i...

( Yelling )

( Whimpers )

( Screams )

Oh...

( Shouts )

( Chuckie moans )

Wow.

Well, I guess
there's no turning back now.

( Distant growling )

Listen.

It's reptar jr.

Maybe he's in here.

( Water dripping )

( Flapping wings )

( Both screaming ):
bats!

( Screaming )

Eek! Ooh! Yech!

( Yells, thumps )

Uh, is there supposed
to be

A strange rumbling, because...

( Yelps )

( Gasping )

( Shouting, gurgling )

( Grinding )

What's that noise, chuckie?

I don't know.

But i-i-i was thinking

What if it's one
of the mole peoples?

Just because the mole peoples

Was in the cave in the movie

Don't mean they're
in every cave.

( Footsteps )

What? What is it?

Mole people!

( Gasps )

( Roaring )

( Screams )

Oh, I'm stuck, tommy!

I can't get up.

Hold on, chuckie.

We'll help you.

( Grunting )

Oh, I can't get up.

( Groaning )

( Squeak )

( Deep rattling )

Hurry, before the mole peoples
get us.

( Sighing )

No, no, no, no,
it's just a little spill.

No, no, no need to come over.

I've got it under control.

I can...

Handle it.

( Weird squeaking )

Look, guys.

( Gasps )

( Screeching )

We're in luck, guys.

The mole peoples
is a-scared of the light.

( All sigh with relief )

All:
uh-oh.

Now we'll never find reptar jr.

We'll be stuck here
for the rest of paternity.

Or... Till the mole peoples
get us.

Oh!

Wow...

Chuckie:
come on, tommy,
we got to get out of here.

( All gasp )

( Reptar jr. Grunts )

( Roaring )

Reptar jr.

We found him.

Okay, phil, lil?

Help me up.

( Grunting )

( Grunting )

( Groaning )

( Grunting )

( Friendly growling )

( Giggling )

( Clank )

( Groaning )

It's okay, reptar jr.

You're free!

( Roaring )

( Low squeaking )

( All cheering )

We did it!

( Laughing )

( All gasp )

( Kids moaning )

( Roaring )

( Screeching )

( Roaring )

( Squealing )

( Tremendous roar )

( Cheering )

Good going, reptar jr.

You saved us!

'Splorers, we're heading home.

But, tommy, we're lost.

Just 'cause
we don't know where we are...

Don't mean we're lost.

Tommy:
um...

What's wrong?

Um... We're lost.

Let me ask you something.

Say someone's kitchen
was under...

I don't know, what...

Say, two inches of water?

Would that cause
permanent damage?

No, really, really,
I can handle it.

Look.

Over there,
that's got to be the way out.

That's good.

'Cause I think I had
about enough scary stuff

For one 'venture.

Ah...

( Stone rattles below )

( Sighs )

That figures.

( Reptar growls )

( Giggling )

( Squawks )
( gasps )

( Growling )

( Low squeaking... )

( Yelps )

( Growling )

( Squeaking )

( Roaring )

( Frightened croaking... )

( Squeaking )

We got to do something, tommy!

The mole peoples
is going to get reptar jr.!

Tommy?

( Screeching )

( Grunting )

Woo-hoo!

( All cheering )

( Shoes squishing )

Here you are.

Oh, don't want you
playing down there.

Much too dirty.

Anyway, thanks for everything.

I had a great time
talking to you today.

Uh, listen, I was wondering
if maybe

You'd be interested
in having dinner sometime.

( Phone clicks )

Hello?

Hello?

( Dial tone )

We did it!

( Cheering )
we saved reptar jr.!

And got really dirty.

And had the scariest 'venture
we ever had!

What do you say, reptar jr.?

( Squawking )

( Laughing )

He says "thank you."

( All laughing )

( Doorbell ringing )

Goodness,
look at this weather.

I hope timmy's party wasn't
supposed to be outdoors.

Yep, shame about
the rain there, colleen.

Oh, you call this rain?

Last year we had a monsoon.

Even the pony got washed away.

Kids:
hi, angelica.

Yeah, I didn't come
to see you babies.

Where's the birthday boy?

What'd you get me?

Oh, is it your birthday?

Well, I hope at least
they got goody bags.

We'll help you move
the party inside.

All right, you squirts!

It's my birthday,
and I want to play... Caveman!

Sounds fun.

It sounds okay...

But nobody better mess up
my pigtails!

You can't play anyway!

Or susie or lil.

Huh?

What? Why not?

'Cause you're girls,
and girls got cooties.

Now, scram!

Ooh, I'm going to get
that timmy mcnulty.

I'm going to tell his
mommy he throwed up

So he won't get to eat
any birthday cake.

Then, I'm going to let the air
out of his tricycle tires.

Then, I'm going to get a water
balloon and squish his...

Or, maybe I'll just forget about
timmy and have my own party.

( Sighs )

Do we have to play
in here all alone

'Cause we gots cooties?

Cooties aren't real,
you dumb baby.

Cooties is just a pigment
of your infatuation.

Susie:
angelica

We're not supposed

To play with that stuff.

Who said anything
about playing with you?

We're not here 'cause
we're friends, you know.

We're here 'cause we're girls.

Just 'cause timmy
hurted your feelings

Is no escuse to
take it out on us.

Timmy?
Who cares about timmy?

He didn't hurt
my feelings.

Well, he hurted mine.

And I wish there was some way

We could teach him a lesson.

Look! Finger paints.

( Giggling )

( Glass crashes )

Hmm.

( Chuckling )

( Kids shouting... )

Tommy?

What are cooties?

I don't know, chuckie.

Uh... Maybe it's something
that girls are born with

Like spike has fleas.

But, no one ever tells spike

He can't play with us
'cause of fleas.

What if the... The girls
are really sick?

Well, when I'm sick, my mom and
dad always bring me some juice.

Yeah, you're right, tommy.

One of the grownups will
probably bring them some.

But chuckie, the grownups
don't know about the cooties

Or they never would have
bring 'em to the party.

I guess that means
it's up to us.

Oh, why couldn't they
just a had fleas?

Then we got ten
inches of snow

For howard's
office picnic

We wraped the kids
in tinfoil

And took shelter
in a hut.

We had ten inches of lava
at me folks anniversary.

I said we shouldn't do
an outdoor buffet in hawaii.

Hawaii, oh, now there's a...

Wow, tommy

That's the biggest
cup of juice I ever saw.

Chuckie, you go over there
and do something

To make the grownups
look at you

While I get
some juice.

Uh... How am I going to do that?

Uh... Uh... I know!

Pop one of those balloons.

( Gasps )
pop a balloon?!

On purpose?

We got to help the girls

Or they'll have cooties forever.

Oh, well... Okay.

( Grunting... )

( Didi humming )

( Grunting... )

( Gasps )

( Bawling... )

( Mothers cooing )

Betty:
aw, pumpkin,
it's all right, honey.

Um... Tommy...

I was just thinking, if we get
too close to the girls

Do you think we could get
cooties?

Maybe we should wear special
clothes like the doctors on t.b.

( Thunder rumbling )

Looks like
a monster to me.

Lil:
let me see, let me see.

( Cooing happily )

I look almost as
scary as reptar.

( Growling )

( Giggling )

( Door creaks )

Um...

We bringed you girls some juice

'Cause it'll help you
get better.

How come they're
not ascared?

Tommy, I can't see nothing
with this hat on!

Oh... I-i guess it's okay
if we lift up the face part.

( Both gasp )

( All growling )

( Screaming... )

( Girls laughing )

Cooties is fun!

( Giggling )

( Both panting )

Girls chased us!

( Growling )

( Panting )

Big, green monsters!

You was right,
timmy.

The girls gots cooties

And it's turned 'em
into scary monsters!

( All gasping )

( Laughing )

No.

I made up all that stuff

On account of girls is icky.

No, no, it's true.

It was the horriblest thing.

Their faces... All green.

Hey, look at
finster's leg.

( All yelling )

He gots the cooties!

Oh, you got to get out of here

Before you give us all
the cooties!

No, he's my friend
and we gots to help him!

No, tommy,
he's right...

( Sobbing ):
I better go.

Oh, but chuckie...

( All giggling )

Did you see his face
when I roared at him?

I thought tommy was going
to pee-pee in his dipee.

( Door creaks open )

Hey? What are
you doing here?

( Sniffling ):
um... The other kids...

They don't like me no more.

Why, chuckie?

A 'cause... I'm turning
into a monster just like you...

( Sobbing ):
and I got the cooties, too.

Oh, don't cry, chuckie.

Oh, yeah, chuckie...

Well, well, well!

Now, you're just like us.

Well, if you're going to look
like a monster

You got to act like a monster.

And you got to help us scare
those stupid boys.

( Sniffling )
even tommy and phil?

But, th-they're
my bestest friends.

We're your friends now,
chuckie.

Right, girls?

Yeah.
Oh, right, right.

That's right,
we are monster friends.

Uh-huh.

Well, I guess...
Being a monster isn't so bad...

( Sniffles )

...if you have friends.

Tommy:
so why we gots to be mean
to anybody with cooties?

Susie's just a kid, like you.

And lil's just a kid like...

...like me.

And angelica... Um...

Lil and susie are just like me
and you.

Can't we all just get along?

Uh... No.

They're my friends!

And I'm going to go

And figure a way
to fix their cooties

Even if I gots to do it
by myself.

Wait, tommy!

I'm going with you.

I always I knowed I could
count on you, phil.

I mean...

If I could count.

( Shrieking )

( Boys yelling... )

( Squishing... )

( Roaring )

Oh, I think it's going to be
a nice party after all.

Yup... See, deed

You can't let a little thing
like rain scare you.

Right colly?

( Women chuckling )

You think there's
some kind of menicine here

That can fix cooties?

Not menicine, phil... Lollies!

See, whenever my mommy takes me
to the doctor

He gives me a lolly

And then later
I feel all better.

Whoa.

And all this time I thought
it was menicine.

Boy, I'm not taking
that stuff anymore.

( Kids yelling )

( Crying )

Don't worry, timmy.

I'm not going to give you
my cooties.

You're... You're not?

Nope.

I'm just going to
leave you here.

Come on, chuckie!

( Dog howls in distance )

Here, you guys,
eat these!

They'll make you
all better.

( All smacking noisily )

Look, it's working.

( Giggling )

You know, susie, you're okay...
Sometimes.

So are you,
angelica.

Uh... Guys?

I, uh... I was just wondering...

I mean... No fun playing caveman
all alone

So, uh... Could i, uh...
Play with you?

I thought you didn't want
to catch the cooties.

Well, if everyone else
is going to have 'em

I guess I want to have 'em, too.

Please?

Well...

Okay.

But just 'cause
it's your birthday.

( Giggling )

( All giggling )