01x12 - The Sorry Syndrome; Speak Not the Q Word

[bunniefuu]

♪ MVA ♪
♪ MVA ♪

♪ Monsters vs. Aliens ♪

♪ It's us vs. them ♪

♪ Foe vs. friend ♪

♪ Brain vs. B.O.B. ♪

♪ It's a super-freaky job ♪

Oh, yeah, it's freaky.

♪ MVA ♪

♪ Monsters vs. Aliens ♪

♪ Monsters vs. Aliens ♪
[cackles]

♪ Monsters vs. Aliens ♪

♪ MVA ♪

Hey, Suze,
it's turkey tetrazzini day.

Looks like they finally
took your suggestion.

Of course.
General Monger loved the idea.

Turkey tetrazzini.
Turkey tetrazzini.

Turkey tetra...
[clears throat]

[giggles]

It's really good.

I'm sure you guys will love it too.
It's my all-time favorite dish.

Mm, I look forward to indulging.

And I can't wait to try it.
I'll eat anything,

except that gloppy noodle
stuff with the meat chunks,

'cause that looks
ridiculously nasty. Ugh!

That is the turkey tetrazzini, B.O.B.

Oh, and tetrazzini means
"looks kinda barf-y?"

[stammers] I-I'll just fish
a sample out of the garbage... later.

And I'll just... yeah.

Wow, I must really
be disgusted right now

- 'cause I got nothin'.
- Stop, it's delicious. [groans]

Sta'abi, you'll try
the tetrazzini, right?

Ugh. Mushy baby food.

For weak humans, not mighty warriors.

- I have live-protein diet.
- You mean "high protein?"

I don't think she does.
So do you pull the heads off first or...

Ow!

[slurps]

You're all trying it, you picky babies.

[dramatic orchestration]

[squelch]

Oh, jeez. Sta'abi, I'm sorry.

[groans]

Here, I'll clean it off.
Seltzer, stat.

[groans nervously]

Oh, oh!

[groans]

Oh, no! Really sorry!

[grumbles]
Truly sorry. So, so sorry.

- Like, a boatful of sorries.
- Sta'abi will endure no more!

[groans]

Whoa.
I said sorry, a lot.

- Oh. You call that an apology?
- On this planet? Yeah.

Sta'abi is not from this planet.

Hers is a proud culture.

You must apologize profoundly,

profusely, and publicly.

Nope. Nope, nope, nope.
She is a warrior.

The only thing she understands is force.

So just step on her. I mean,
really just step on her.

Then call it a day. Just walk away.

What?
No. Coverton's right.

Can't believe I'm gonna say this.

- Thanks.
- The pleasure is mine.

Attention, please.
I have an announcement.

I want to say to everyone in this room,

as well as everyone
all around the base,

wherever they are,

that I owe Sta'abi a huge,
monster-sized apology.

- Oh, very good, good, good.
- I am so, so sorry, Sta'abi.

- Good, keep going.
- Really sorry, from the bottom of my heart.

I even made you an "I'm sorry" card.

See? The saw is, like, "saw-ry."
'Cause I'm sorry? Get it?

[giggles] Cute, right?

And not only that,
I baked you a cake. [metallic scraping]

♪ Cake ♪

[chuckles] And I only had one bite.

- B.O.B.!
- What?

- You said I could have one.
- I said you could have none!

- None.
- Oh. I gotta get my ears cleaned out.

- Also, I gotta get ears.
- Okay. I'll bake you another cake.

I'll bake you a cake every
day for the rest of the week.

Just another way to say...
[grumbling]

you know what I'm gonna say, right?
♪ I am sorry ♪

Gah!

[glass shatters]

[cake crashes]
♪ Cake ♪

I-I don't understand.

You think Sta'abi so
weak to need your apologies?

No! Apologies are for
weepy Earth babies...

[feigns crying]

Not glory hunter like Sta'abi.

Wait, you're mad
because I'm apologizing?

On my planet,
apology is worst insult.

Yes, yes, that's right.

So you're not mad because I
got tetrazzini on your uniform?

Or because I sprayed you with seltzer?

[scoffs] No.
Seltzer was delightful and refreshing.

But apology insult was not!

But... but Coverton said you'd
want a big, public "so sorry."

[sighs] What's that?

Oh! General Monger is summoning me.

- I don't hear anything.
- Uh, uh, coming, General!

Coverton!
Look, I didn't know.

I'm so sorry, which is
totally the wrong thing to say.

Sorry.
Gah! Did it again.

- Sorry. Gah!
- I declare Growl'nkoot!

[all gasp]

Growl'nkoot! Growl'nkoot!

Growl'nkoot!

Growl and coot?
What does that mean?

Ancient ritual.
Means there is Hak'ngut between us.

Helpful. And Hak'ngut means?

I reclaim my honor by hunting you,

carving out your fralnick,
and feeding it to Vornicarn.

[growls]

[slurps]

Fralnick. I won't even ask.
But I think I wanna keep it.

The hunt will begin at the rise
of the fourth moon.

Point of order:
Earth has but one moon.

Really? Good to know.
Okay, we start now.

♪ Sta'abi ♪

[groans]

Sorry.

Guys, stop. I'm sure
I can clear the air.

Uh-uh.

That air has turned from a
funnel cloud to an F tornado.

Precisely, so we must flee
to the deepest regions of the base.

[neck cracks]

[roars]

We'll be safe in here.

[all groaning]

Giant iron balls
dropping from the ceiling

doesn't seem... oh!...
very safe.

[groans]

Why would someone
make a room like this?

[groans]

I mean, seriously. What is the point?

Ah, Susan, when you start thinking
like that, soon you're asking

"what's the point of putting
peanut butter on a hamster?"

[squeaks] Good chat.

I think we all learned
something today here, g*ng.

I know I did.
[growls]

Aah!

B.O.B., run!

[slurps] Yes.
Sta'abi smells the stink of Susan, too.

[growls]

- What's our next move?
- Whatever it is, let's choose wisely.

Oh, I know!
I found these flowers and muffins.

I'll take them to Sta'abi.
They'll make her happy.

No, B.O.B.
[electricity crackles] [screams]

Who doesn't love flowers and muffins?

More hiding? That's our wise move?

This is ridiculous. We
can't avoid Sta'abi forever.

Then go back to my original
suggestion: step on her.

- I mean, really step on her!
- No, that's the last thing I wanna do,

aside from giving her my fralnick,
ahich I'm still using... I think.

This whole situation is a
horrible misunderstanding.

I was just ignorant
about Sta'abi's culture.

- Ignorance! That's the answer.
- Works for me.

We haven't much
knowledge about Sta'abi.

Likewise, she hasn't
much information about us,

particularly about human anatomy.

And this is a weakness...

we can... exploit.

[shouting]
Where... are... we?

- More gummy worms.
- Oh, yes, a few more.

- B.O.B., they're not a snack.
- And yet, not quite a meal.

Just put these here and... voilá.

There. That looks authentic enough.

[snarls]

- Oh, no. It's Sta'abi.
- No more seek and hide.

I couldn't agree more.
I'm ready to accept my fate.

[spits]

[tense electronic music]

Oh! Ow!

You... you tagged me good, Sta'abi.

Oh. Oh.

[groans]

Oh, no, my fralnick!

Barely, I touch you.
Are all humans this feeble?

Like you wouldn't believe.

Mm-hmm, full of defects.
A shoddy house of cards.

Oh, well, I'll have to
live without my fralnick,

which, by the way, us
humans can totally do.

So we're even Steven, right?

This no fralnick. What
fool you take Sta'abi for?

Well, um, human
fralnicks are kinda... gummy?

[sniffs] Gooblesnark!
Even better.

[munching]

[sighs happily] Right.
Yummy and gummy.

Honor and duty are satisfied.
Growl'nkoot is done.

Oh, sweet.
Well, see you around, Sta'abi. Bye.

- She fell for it.
- Yay!

She fell for it! Yay!

Hooray!
Did you hear that, Susan?

- She fell for it.
- Fell for it? Fell for what?

Sta'abi, your voice
sounds kinda harsh.

This is a time for
celebration 'cause you

totally fell for the
bogus gummy fralnick and...

Bogus? Growl'nkoot!

That is enough.

[groans] Step on her.

We are gonna make peace

even if I have to grind
you into the ground!

- What did you say?
- Uh, make peace?

- No. The other thing.
- [meekly] Grind you into the ground?

- Ah.
- Finally, you act with honor.

- What-a-wha?
- We are Flarn'groot.

Does that mean even Steven?

No, but Sta'abi will
stop hunting you for now.

Good enough.

- Now?
- Yeah, B.O.B., now.

Yay! Hooray!
Yay! Hooray!

[laughs]

Whoops. Sorry.

Growl'nkoot!

I said I was sorry.
Why are you so mad?

[growls]

[grunts]

[snarling]

[grunting]

[snarling]

[grunting]

[snarling]

[battle cry]

[grunts]

[groans]

[applause]

Those dummies were only
two days from retirement.

[crying] Why?

Only five?

Vornicarn, where is
the final trophy-skull?

[groans]

Oh, bad Vornicarn.

Release. Obey me!

[groans, snorts]

[groans]

Stubborn, impudent Jortnurg!

[screams]
[spits]

Language!
[electricity crackling]

[screams]

Indoor lightning.
Methinks this was not meteorological.

And me thinks about what
I'd look like as a hand puppet.

[mumbling indistinctly]

Nop, nop, nop, nop.

- Nop, nop, nop, nop, nop, nop...
- What the heck was that?

She said the "J"-word.

- There's a "J"-word?
- Not on this planet.

It is one of our alien forbidden words.

You guys have your own swears?
That's kinda awesome.

It is anti-opposite not awesome.

Unlike your Earth potty talk,

the forbidden words have
actual, physical consequences.

The "J"-word makes lightning.

The "G"-word's spontaneous combustion.

and of course, we don't even speak
about the dreaded "Q"-word.

[shudders]

[whimpers]

[chuckles] You're kidding, right?

You know the way Sta'abi
is, such a kidder. Oh.

They are so destructive,
only a simple fool would utter them.

Precisely. Only a...

Nup, nup, nup.
Nop, nop, nop, nop.

Simple fool. [chuckles]

Nop, nop, nop,
nop, nop, nop, nop.

I hate when he does that.
Creep-to-the-e.

♪ Evil, evil, evil, evil, evil ♪

Hmm, "J"-word.

"G"-word.
Double-"O"-word.

Flur-word. Mm.

And dare I go for the dreaded "Q"-word?

Hmm, indeed.

[groaning]

Commence evil.

Nop, nop, nop.
Nop, nop, nop, nop.

"Cool new words to say."

Huh.

[rattling, ding]

Wow. These are cool!
I'm gonna go say them right now.

[giggles]

What's up, Steve, you old Girkmorch?
[chuckles]

Aah!

Aah!

- Oh, excuse me.
- No worries, buddy.

It's all Flurglegurgle.

Huh?

Aah!

- Hm.
- Curly fries?

Oh, yum infinity.

This is the best Jornurging day ever.

[grunts]

[cans rattling]

[rumbling]

[shouts]

[all shouting]

Okay, what was that?

Desert volcano?
Me thinks this was not vulcanological.

I was totally waiting for B.O.B.
to say something ridiculous there.

Yeah, that was kinda awkward.
Where is he, anyway? [gasps]

Who has spoken the forbidden words?

The "Q"-word makes a stinking volcano?

Oh, no, this is merely
from the double-"O"-word.

If the brainless oaf
whose toilet mouth did this

also knows the "Q"-word,
there will be much worse coming.

Brainless oaf?
Mm-mm.

♪ Doopy, diddy, doo ♪

♪ doopy, doopy, Jortnurg ♪

[screams]

♪ dingle, dangle ♪

♪ wabba, dabba, Girkmorch ♪

Look out! Fire!

♪ dabba, dabba ♪

♪ B.O.B. solo ♪

Mr. President.
What's up, frowny sad face, sir?

It's what's down, B.O.B.
Look at these popularity numbers.

[mimics b*mb-dropping]

That was America dropping
a hate-b*mb on me.

Oh, that is so just like America.

[chuckles] Hm.

Have you tried being more popular?

Great idea. I gotta
really wow the people.

I'm thinking something internet-y,
Like a webcast video blog viral thing.

Love it. You should do it
with that cat that laughs.

But it needs that extra
kick of cool, you know?

Did somebody say "cool"?

Wow. Those words are cool.

And just think how
groovy they'll sound

when they're broadcast
through the entire world.

[chuckles]

You think we can work these
into my interweb blogcast?

You bet your Flurglegurgle, sir.

Oh, no!
[screams]

♪ Evil, evil, evil, evil, evil ♪

[growls]
All: B.O.B.!

- B.O.B.!
- Yo, B.O.B.!

Vornicarn, are you yet smelling
the blue monster's musk?

[growls]

[vomits]

That is vomit for "yes."

General Monger, have you seen B.O.B.?

Affirmative. He's off
in the desert making

some internet video
hoo-ha with the President.

What?

Worldwide waste of
time, if you ask me.

Got the script here and I
can't understand half the words,

like this word here.
What's a Quoog... [screams]

It's the "Q"-word.
He's going to use the "Q"-word.

- We have to stop him!
- Yes. And I must "help" you.

Why did you make air
quotes on the word "help"?

Um, uh, those aren't air quotes.
[chuckles]

Uh, they're hel-por and handy,

the twin bunnies of good deeds.

[falsetto]
"Let's do some good."

"Oh, yes. Let's."

Oh. Hello, America.
It's just me, the President,

ripping through the desert in a Jeep

with my homey, an -foot
gelatinous monster.

- Hi, America.
- Yeah.

We just blew your Girkmorched mind.

There! Your President
must've used the "G"-word.

Does he spit acid on
his mother with that mouth?

Where are we in the script, Suze?

Two more pages to the "Q"-word.
Punch it!

[engine revvs]

[screaming]

[all groaning]

Some people say I've lost my mojo.

Well, to them I say, how
do you like this Jortnurg?

Ow!

Somebody put out that lightning.
I'm tryin' to watch a webcast.

So hypothetically, if the President
actually does say the "Q"-word,

how horrible would this be,
like, on a scale from to aah!

To speak the "Q"-word from even
one mouth is a disaster.

And your President is about to
blurt it to the entire internet,

multiplying the impact catastrophically.

Thus cleansing the Earth of all
human life-forms just in time for...

Oh, look. It's the bunnies again.
"Hello." [chuckles]

[t*nk beeps]

You feeling me, America?
Yee-ahh!

Who wants to see some stunts?

Let me hear you say, "Oodifoo!"

[groaning]

[volcano rumbles]

My t*nk!

[both shouting and laughing]

[cheering]

Double "O"-word?

We're only one page
away from the big "Q".

We have to stop him now.

[warbling tone]

[groans, sighs]

[warbling tone]

[engine sputters]
[both groan]

Eureka! I have the
perfect device to... aah!

My extra-sensitive, comically
oversized insect eyes!

[cackles]

Oh!

Vornicarn, make me airborne!

[shouts]

[brakes screech]

Both: Whoa!

Yes! Mr. President!
Mr. President!

You have to stop... [groans]

Guys, shh.

You're interrupting a very important
and super cool livestream.

[groans] Where was I?
Oh, right. So, in conclusion...

B.O.B., you have to let us through!

He's gonna say the "Q"-word to the world.

Shyeah. How awesome is that?

And there's nothing we
can do to stop it. Horror.

No. There is still one thing.

Duck and cover your ears.

Why? We must fight the
"Q"-word with the "Q"-word.

I will whisper quietly
and hope for the best.

[low] Quoogwaffle.

[screams]

[lightning crashes]

[shouting and screaming]

[ominous music]

[laughing]

[groans]

Whoa!

And that is why
we do not speak the "Q"-word.

Come, Vornicarn, I must
scrub out mouth with rocks.

That was some seriously
intense Jortnurg.

[screams]