03x12 - Nurse Martha/TD Gets the Scoop

[bunniefuu]

♪ Martha was an average dog

♪ She went... and... and...
(barking, growls)

♪ When she ate
some alphabet soup ♪

♪ Then what happened
was bizarre... ♪

On the way to Martha's stomach,
the letters lost their way.

They traveled to her brain
and now...

♪ She's got a lot to say

♪ Now she speaks...

How now, brown cow?

♪ Martha speaks, yeah,
she speaks and speaks ♪

♪ And speaks and speaks
and speaks... ♪

What's a caboose?

When are we eating again?

♪ Martha speaks...

Hey, Joe, what do you know?

My name's not Joe.

♪ She's not always right,
but still that Martha speaks. ♪

Hi, there!

♪ She's got a voice,
she's ready to shout ♪

♪ Martha will tell you
what it's all about ♪

♪ Sometimes wrong
but seldom in doubt ♪

♪ Martha will tell you
what it's all about ♪

♪ That dog's unique...

Testing, one, two!

♪ Hear her speak

♪ Martha speaks and speaks

♪ And speaks and speaks
and... ♪

♪ Communicates, enumerates

♪ Elucidates, exaggerates

♪ Indicates and explicates

♪ Bloviates and overstates
and... ♪

(panting)

♪ ...hyperventilates!

♪ Martha, to reiterate

Martha speaks!
♪ Martha speaks.

TD:
In today's headlines,

there's a lot of news.

Martha?

Later on,
our investigator

uncovers some
information.

TD?

Then, in a special
health report,

a doctor does a checkup
and observes some symptoms.

Martha?

Well...

TD?

As you've probably
observed,

we don't actually
have any news.

But we did use
a lot of the words

from today's show.

So watch for words about
observing and reporting,

and we'll see you
at the end of the show.

(whines)

Why is Skits
so nervous?

I mean, it's
not like

he's never had
a checkup before.

(teeth chattering):
That's why he's nervous.

He's had
a checkup before.

Huh?

He knows
what's coming.

What?
What's coming?

(gulps)
A vaccine.

HELEN:
A vaccine?

What's a vaccine?

MARTHA:
(yelps)

Ow! That's a vaccine!

(worried woof)

It's a sh*t that keeps
you from getting sick.

They should make a vaccine
against vaccines.

VET:
Okay, all done.

You're a very
good girl.

You are a very good
veterinarian.

And your biscuits are excellent!

Okay, Skits,
your turn.

(whines)

MARTHA:
Go on, Skits.

The sooner you get the vaccine,

the sooner you get your biscuit.

Whoa!

I wish I had an
assistant like you.

My job would be
a whole lot easier.

Would you pay me
in biscuits?

Sure.

I'm all yours!

Thanks for getting me
this dog anatomy book.

I thought it'd be neat
to see how my insides look.

Well?
What do you think?

MARTHA:
I'm glad

the insides
are on the inside,

look much better.des
(barks)

Not outside,

outsides.

(confused woof)

Never mind.

What's that?

HELEN:
That's your stomach.

That's where this popcorn
is going to go

once you're done
chewing it.

Chewing?

Hey, what's that?

HELEN:
That's your
intestines.

That's where your food goes

once your stomach
is done with it.

(barks)

You sure are doing a lot
of research for this job.

Research?

You know, studying,
finding out facts

or learning
about something.

Oops.

Right now I want
to research

where that
popcorn went.

Aha!

My research has produced
results.

You know, you probably don't
need to know all this stuff.

The vet's not going
to test you on it.

I know.

But it might
come in handy.

Just think, a vet's assistant.

What's your diagnosis,
Nurse Martha?

(whimpers)

A parasitic infection is causing
an irritation of the epidermis.

(worried bark)

Relax, Pops.

That just means
you have fleas.

And boy do
they itch.

HELEN:
Fleas aren't
exactly...

life-threatening.

No, but they
sure are annoying.

Ready, Martha?

Ready!

(yips)

Oh, is this your
first checkup?

Don't be frightened.

The examination
is really simple.

(yips)

Oh, no, it's not
an examination

like a test.

Well, actually
it is.

But this test isn't
to see what you know;

it's just a checkup to see
if you're healthy.

(yips)

What now?

She says your examination
is making her uncomfortable.

It's that thing around your
neck, it's really cold.

Oh, I beg your pardon.

(barks)

His food makes
his stomach hurt.

Well, the treatment
for that is easy.

Let's get him on
a new kind of food.

(barks)

I can't translate.

I'm not allowed to say words
like that.

Do you have a treatment
that'll turn him into a dog?

!o.
(hisses)

Hey! That's no way to
treat the assistant!

(beeping)

All done.

But we'll have
to observe him

to see whether the
treatment worked or not.

Observe?

You mean we'll have to watch
him carefully, Doctor?

Yes, Nurse.

That's exactly what observe
means.

It was very observant of you
to figure that out.

Ugh, this movie makes me sick.

Because of all
the blood?

No, because of
all the bad acting.

It reminds me
of that pickle movie.

Observe while I change
the channel.

(game show music on TV)
No.

(laser beam sound effects on TV)

theme song plays ) e Carlo
Ah!

(whimpers)

Have you noticed any other
symptoms?

You'd have to
ask my niece.

Butterscotch
is her dog.

Symptom?

What's a symptom?

A symptom is something
that tells you

someone might be sick.

Like having a fever
or a runny nose.

Butterscotch hasn't been
eating much,

and he hasn't been going
to the bathroom, either.

And how long has this been
going on?

MRS. CLUSKY:
Hmm, since
yesterday.

Just a little while after
the triplets came over

to show me
their new puppies.

(barks)

He says
"Gabba goo
goo gah gah."

He is just
a puppy.

I'm going to need to keep
him under observation

for a few days
to run some tests.

VET:
Okay?

Don't worry, Butterscotch.

I'll be back to get you
real soon.

(yips)

(yips)

!yips)
Hey!

Hmm.

Thanks, Martha.

Anything for
medical science.

(woofs)

VET:
See? There's
something right there.

In the intestine?

Uh-huh.

It could be something
he ate, or...

Hey! How do you know
about intestines?

Oh, research.

So what's his treatment?

He'll probably
need surgery.

I need to find out
what that is.

It could be a whole
laundry list of things.

A laundry list?

You don't need to do
surgery for that.

I've eaten tons
of paper in my day,

and it didn't make
me sick at all.

No,

"laundry list" is an expression.

It's another way of saying
you've got a lot of things

you need to do.

Or, in this case,

that Butterscotch
has symptoms

that could mean a lot
of different things.

I'll need to do
an exploratory surgery

to sniff it out.

You're going to
smell his insides?

No, "sniff it out"
is an expression, too.

It means you're
looking for something,

but you're
not sure what.

(little girl crying)

Oh, there there.

As soon as Butterscotch
is healthy again,

he'll come home.

I wish there was something
I could do to help.

(sniffs)

VET (echoing):
Sniff it out.

Sniff it out.

That's it!

Wake up, Skits.

We've got
research to do.

(Skits barks)

We need noses.

Lots and lots of noses.

(Martha barks)

(barking)

(barks)

(barks)

(barks)

MARTHA:
Was Butterscotch sick

before your niece
brought him to visit?

No, he was healthy
before he came here.

So he got sick while
he was in your yard?

That's correct.

Okay, g*ng, you
heard the lady.

If Butterscotch ate something
that made him sick,

it was in this yard.

So get those
noses to work.

(barking)

Examine everything.

Leave no blade of grass
unsniffed.

(barks)

It's just regular old grass.

(barks)

Just rainwater.

(barks)

It's just a moldy,
old dog biscuit.

I just wanted to give it
a more careful examination.

You know, just in case.

Well?

Did your examination turn up
anything?

It's like
the vet said:

it could be a whole
laundry list of things.

Oh! My laundry!

It's been hanging up ever
since Butterscotch got sick.

I completely
forgot about it.

Hmm.

That's it!

He ate a sock!

Butterscotch likes to jump
up and grab things.

Remember?

He jumped up at my ears,
at your stethoscope,

at the x-ray machine.

Here's what happened...

MARTHA:
Mrs. Clusky hung the laundry
out to dry.

The laundry basket was
sitting on the ground.

Butterscotch knocked
the basket over,

climbed on top of it,
and grabbed the sock.

The sock went into his stomach,
and then to his intestines.

And that's what's
stuck down there.

Well that would certainly
explain all the symptoms.

Good work, Martha!

Your research may save
that puppy's life.

So what do we do now?

I guess we bring
in the laundry.

Uh-huh...

Here he is,
healthy as a horse.

I'll need to see him in three
weeks to take the stitches out.

In the meantime, you'll have
to keep him from roughhousing

with the other pups.

So, what was
wrong with him?

VET:
Well, Martha
was right.

It wasn't a whole laundry list
of things,

it was just one piece
of laundry--

a sock.

]From now one, I think
I'll do my laundry

on days when the triplets
aren't visiting.

That sounds like an excellent
course of treatment.

Martha, I don't know how
I could ever thank you.

Well, you could give
me another biscuit.

MARTHA:
Now, before you put
anything in your mouth,

it's important to make
some observations.

(squeaks)

You want to examine
it carefully

and make sure
it's safe to eat.

First I examine the smell.

(sniffs)

Then, I examine how it looks.

And finally,
I examine the flavor.

Whoo, that was tasty.

Wait.

Just to be safe,
observe me again.

Now you try.

(barks)

You're right,
the food is all gone.

Good observation.

Maybe we should try it again.

Helen?

HELEN:
Martha!

Quit eating
the puppy's food.

(kids chatting excitedly)

(Martha grunting as she jumps)

Ta-da!

(all exclaiming)

You've got your
own copy machine?

Uh-huh.

My dad got the newer model,

so he said I could have
his old one.

(machine whirring)

(sniffing)

Aah! It's alive!

(barking)

(growling)

Watch it!

(barking and growling)

(laughing weakly)

Dogs aren't big
on technology.

Wow! Imagine all the neat
things you could do with this!

(copy machine humming)

(kids laughing with delight)

(grunting excitedly)

(machine hums)

(kids continue laughing)

Okay, that was fun.

Now what?

(gasps)

I've got an idea!

I'll make a newspaper.

A newspaper?

Yeah, for the neighborhood.

I'll call it
Carolina's Town Crier.

Of course I'll need
a team of ace reporters

to sniff out the news.

Ooh, Skits and I
can do that.

We're great sniffers.

A dog reporter?

You've got to be kidding.

(barking)

No, really.

In the past three blocks,

we sniffed out
a half a dinner roll

and a piece of lint-covered
butterscotch candy

and I smelled a really big bone
buried in the park back there.

That's not news--
that's garbage.

I need a scoop.

A scoop? You want us
to sniff out ice cream?

(laughing)

Not an ice cream scoop.

There's another kind
of scoop.

When Carolina says
she wants a scoop,

she means a news story
no one else knows about.

Exactly-- something sensational
that makes a great headline.

"Dog Bites Man" is not a scoop.

"Man Bites Dog"--
now, that's a scoop.

(gasps)

That sounds
like an awful story.

Sí, es cierto.

It's been done.

"Man Bites Man
Who Bit Dog"

would be much better.

We'll print the first edition
on Friday.

Now, who wants
to do what?

I'll cover arts
and entertainment.

TD, want a Granny Flo
Super Sucker?

Yeah, sure.

I'll cover sports.

I'll make
the crossword puzzle.

Why don't you
do a fun puzzle,
like connect-the-dots?

Where's the challenge in that?

Who cares?

When you're done,

you've got a cute picture
to hang on your fridge.

See?

Hmm.

(sniffing)

Oh, hey!

Hey, TD, what kind of news
are you going to cover?

Something that will use
my keen powers of observation.

HELEN:
Uh, science?

Even better.

I'm going to be
an investigative reporter.

What do they do?

Investigate things.

Investigate?

It's when you dig
around to find out

what's really going on.

See? I could so be a reporter.

I'm always digging around.

In fact, I think I'm going
to do some right now.

It's an expression.

Both "dig around"
and "investigate" mean

you try to find out more
about something.

Yeah, well, I want
to investigate this smell.

I think there could be
a story here.

(grunting)

Who wants to read
about smells?

I mean, while we're at it,
why don't we write

about what the neighbors
have in their garbage

and where you can find
dead stuff to roll in?

Sounds like a page turner.

I'm hanging on every word.

I'm not going to print
a story about a bone

in my first edition.

A bone is not news.

What are you going
to investigate?

I don't know.

I need a story to grab people--

some secret everyone's
been dying to know.

Well, I've always wanted to know

how Granny Flo gets
the bubble gum

into her Super Suckers.

That's it!
That's my scoop!

How will you get
Granny to tell?

Corporations don't
like to give out

their secret information.

Easy. I'll go
by the factory, see...

(thunder)

(beeping)

GRANNY:
It's that investigative
reporter again.

Still trying to find out
how I get the bubble gum

in my Super Suckers.

Well, if he wants
that information,

he'll have to catch me first!

Hold it, Granny!

The people have
a right to know.

Sorry, sonny, that's
top secret information.

(panting)

Whoo!

(grunts)

Whoa!

Aah!

(gasps)

(grunts)

(laughing evilly)

So long, kid!

Hee-hee-hee!

Can't catch me!

So, Granny,
for the record,

how do you get the bubble gum

into the center
of your Super Suckers?

Rats!

What are you
sitting around for?

Go get that scoop.

(barking)

Hey, why are you guys
going with TD?

MARTHA:
We're dogs.

We like to chase
things with wheels.

Super Suckers aren't made here?

Factory's in Alaska.

Looks like my sucker
scoop has hit a snag.

Because it would be impossible
to ride your bike to Alaska?

No, because my mom would
never let me miss

that many days of school.

I'll just have to uncover
another big story.

Uncover?
Like when you find out

something
secret or hidden?

Exactly.

You can have the bone story
I uncovered.

I can't write it;
dogs can't type.

Thanks, but I think
Carolina's right.

A bone isn't really news.

I've got it!

The police.

Maybe they've uncovered a story
that's fit to print.

Want to come?

(barks)

Nah, we're going to work
on that bone.

It may not be news,
but... sure smells good.

So then what happened?

The detective inspected
the checks again, see?

Inspected?

When you inspect, it means
you look at things more closely.

So he inspects the checks,
and it turns out they're phony.

No kidding!

It was all a big
money-making scam.

Wow! So what did he do?

I don't know.

I haven't finished
reading the book yet.

Oh, but it's
a real page-turner.

(groans in frustration)

Hey, TD, did you
uncover a scoop yet?

No, but I heard
about a good book.

(horn honking,
dogs barking)

Whoa! Where are
they all going?

Over to the park.

They're going to help me
dig up the bone.

Want to come?

Nah. I'm still looking
for information

on a scoop-worthy story.

ALICE:
My piece on the new seats
for the hockey rink

is going to make
for great headlines.

Hard seats are not hard news.

(rustling)

What is TD doing?

Is this another question
for your crossword puzzle?

No, look.

Hey, TD!

(whispering):
Shh! Do you want
to blow my cover?

Are you doing
some investigative
reporting?

Yeah. See that
guy there?

I think he's up
to something.

I've seen him on
this street before.

Every day it's the same thing.

He walks up and down,
up and down.

He stops at all the doors,

and he's always got
that bag with him.

He's a mailman.

He has to walk
this street every day.

It's his route.

He doesn't look
like my mailman.

My mailman has
a moustache.

Aha!

Where's his moustache?

He's a fake mailman!

He may not be a fake mailman.

Maybe someone stole
his moustache.

Another scoop!

That's not a scoop.

There's more than one
mailman in town,

and you know it.

Maybe, but I think
this guy's a fake.

All I need to do
is inspect his bag.

How are you going to do that?

I mean, won't he catch you?

Not if he's wearing
finger handcuffs.

I've got a bad
feeling about this.

CAROLINA:
"Local Boy Caught
by Mailman's Bag"?!

You were supposed to get a
headline, not be the headline.

(Skits barking)

MARTHA:
Hey, did you print

the first edition yet?

We've got a really big story.

Front-page headline stuff.

Tell me this is
not about a bone.

Oh, no, of course not.

(laughs)
(whimpering)

Well, sort of, yes.

For the last time,
let go of the bone.

Nobody's interested
in the bone.

You haven't seen it.

It's enormous.

(Carolina groans)

Your dog has no
nose for news.

You guys want to
come see our bone?

Um... I kind of
agree with Carolina.

It doesn't sound
like much of a story.

(sighs)

Hey, TD, did you
find your scoop?

No, I ended up
being one instead.

I'm a lousy
investigative reporter.

Oh...

Hey, you want to see our bone?

It's not news,
but it might cheer you up.

Oh... why not?

(dogs panting)

Jumping Jujubes!

Yeah, I know.

Too bad
it's not headline material.

Are you kidding?

Martha, you've uncovered
the biggest scoop

this town has ever seen!

(flashes popping)

This report just in.

Two dogs investigating
a smell today

uncovered a large dinosaur bone.

Scientists need
to inspect further,

but early observations indicate
this is a very important find.

My scoop,
and I missed it!

And now, let's hear
all about it,

straight from
the pooch's mouth.

Uh, I'm sorry,
I can't tell.

I promised the story
to another reporter.

But don't worry, folks.

You can read all about it
in the first edition of...

Carolina's Town Crier.

(Carolina squeals)

(giggles)

So I guess Martha has
a nose for news after all.

Whoa!

Martha, I'm trying
to work here.

Please.

No.

You're just trying
to get more information

on this bone, aren't you?

(sighs)
Mm-hmm.

And when you want
information,

it means you want
to know more facts

about something, right?

Mm-hmm.

I can give you all
the information you need.

I'll give you information
on what it tastes like,

information on how it feels
on my tongue

and, most importantly,

information about how it feels
in my belly.

Wait, wait!

All you have to do
is let me eat it!

Just one little bite!

(sighs)

I wish I had some information

about how that dog keeps
getting into my laboratory.

Now to recap
tonight's top headlines

and to test your powers
of observation,

let's go to the clips.

You sure are doing
a lot of research for this job.

Research?

You know, studying,
finding out facts

or learning about something.

Investigate?

It's when you dig
around to find out

what's really going on.

I'll just have to uncover
another big story.

Uncover?
Like when you find out

something secret
or hidden?

That's the news.

Good night.

To dig up some more fun words
and games, vis

♪ Who's that dog? ♪

♪ Who's
that dog? ♪

♪ Dog, d-d-dog, d-dog. ♪

That dog is Bert.

We're at Children's Hospital
Boston.

Bert is a volunteer
with the Pawprints program.

He enjoys coming to see the kids
because he gets to be petted

by a lot of children.

He's a friend.

MAN:
I think that it makes them feel,

for a little bit, like they're
not in the hospital

and they can take their mind
off things.

Bye, Bert!
MAN:
He gets to have

little doggie treats when we get
back to the office.

♪ He's that dog... ♪
♪ Dog, d-d-dog, d-dog. ♪