03x14 - Skits Under the Weather/Martha the Weather Dog

[bunniefuu]

♪ Martha was an average dog

♪ She went... and... and...
(barking, growls)

♪ When she ate
some alphabet soup ♪

♪ Then what happened
was bizarre. ♪

On the way to Martha's stomach,
the letters lost their way.

They traveled to her brain,
and now...

♪ She's got a lot to say

♪ Now she speaks...

How now, brown cow?

♪ Martha speaks

♪ Yeah, she speaks
and speaks and speaks ♪

♪ And speaks and speaks.

What's a caboose?

When are we eating again?

♪ Martha speaks...

Hey, Joe, what do you know?

My name's not Joe.

♪ She's not always right,
but still that Martha speaks. ♪

Hi, there.

♪ She's got a voice,
she's ready to shout ♪

♪ Martha will tell you
what it's all about ♪

♪ Sometimes wrong,
but seldom in doubt ♪

♪ Martha will tell you
what it's all about ♪

♪ That dog's unique...

Testing, one, two.

♪ Hear her speak

♪ Martha speaks and speaks
and speaks and speaks and... ♪

♪ Communicates, enumerates

♪ Elucidates, exaggerates

♪ Indicates and explicates

♪ Bloviates and overstates
and... ♪

(panting)

♪ ...hyperventilates!

♪ Martha, to reiterate

Martha speaks!
♪ Martha speaks.

Hi, this is Skits...

(barks)

...and I'm Truman with
the forecast for today's show.

Looks like we'll be seeing
a downpour of weather words

starting with words like
"showers" and "thunder,"

"lightning" and "precipitation."

Then, later on in the program,
the storm will break,

and we should start seeing words
like "temperature," "snow,"

"cloudy" and "sunny."

So keep an ear out
because there's no predicting

how many weather words
you might learn.

(barks)

(panting)
(whimpers)

I know, it's not
ice anymore.

Now it's just dirt.

Too hot!

And now for the local weather
forecast,

I've got some good news for
those of you who are wondering

if this heat wave will ever end.

(grunts hopefully)

Because we're going to have
some rainfall.

We have a major storm
heading our way.

(groans)

That's right,

a storm.

Which means it's going to be
raining very hard.

As the rainfall gets closer,
we'll be seeing lots of wind,

lots of lightning
and lots of thunder... (echoing)

(gulps)

(thunder rumbling,
wind whistling)

(barks)

Oh, I used to be afraid
of storms, too.

But don't worry. You'll get used
to the thunder and the lightning

and realize that storms
aren't scary at all.

(thunder crashes, Martha gasps)

(yelping)

(whimpering, curious bark)

I was just looking
for my... shoebox.

(barks curiously)

Yeah, that's
my favorite shoebox.

(whimpers)

Oh, I'm not scared.

(thunder crashes, Martha yelps)

(chuckles nervously)

And what better place
to spend time

with my shoebox
than right here?

(whimpers)

(chuckles):
Of course not.

Why would I be afraid
of a little thunder?

Thunder's just
a loud noise

that happens
during a storm.

It can't hurt you.

(thunder crashes, Skits yelps)

Where are you going?

(barks)

But how are you going to get
away from the thunder?

It's everywhere.

(barks)

Well, good luck.

Let me know if you find
someplace

where there's no thunder.

(barks)

I'll stay right here,
thank you,

but not because I'm scared!

(sighs)

Those bright flashes of light
in the sky

are called "lightning."

Lightning is a big spark
of electricity during a storm,

and thunder is the sound
that the lightning makes.

Doggy!

No, that's not a doggy.

That's a... Oh, it is a doggy.

Skits!

Hey, Skits!

What's wrong?

You're not planning on chewing
all my slippers, are you?

(whimpers, thunder rumbles)

Oh, I get it.

You want to get away
from the sound of the thunder.

Is that it, boy?

(barks)

Well, I know where we can go
that's not so scary.

Thanks for bringing
him home.

No problem.

I figured he'd be
less scared

if he was here
during the storm.

(barks)

I think I felt
a raindrop.

I'd better get home
before the drizzle

turns into a downpour.

I hate getting wet.

(thunder crashes)

Come on, Skits. Skits?

Gee, I guess he couldn't wait
to get under the bed.

(thunder cracks)

(grunts)

James, hold still
for just one second.

Mom! Mom!

Mom! Mom! Mom!!

Mom!

(thunder crashes)

(baby laughing)

(baby laughing)

It looks like we're going to
have some pretty heavy rainfall,

so be sure to bring along
your umbrella

if you don't want to get
caught in the downpour.

Oh, I forgot the umbrella.

(babbling)

(thunder rumbles)

(gasps)

(gasps)

Thanks for bringing
him home.

Thank goodness
he had tags.

Still, I can't figure out
how he got into our car.

I guess the thunder just
makes him want to hide.

But you'll feel safer
here, right, Skits?

(whimpers)

(thunder cracks, barks)

(all exclaim)

(thunder crashes)

(barks)

(sniffs)

Ew! Smells like wet dog.

(whimpering)

No dogs allowed.

(phone rings)

Animal Rescue,
this is Officer Kazuo.

Where's the purported dog, sir?

All right, sir, remain calm.

Animal Rescue is on the way.

(loud rock music plays)

REPORTER:
As you can see, high winds
are pushing the storm clouds

into the Wagstaff City area.

We better get home
before it really hits.

Well, well, well.

What are you doing out
in this weather, buddy?

You don't really want
to stay out here

in this downpour, do you?

Okay, let's see. "Skits."

Okay, Skits, let's say
we take you someplace dry, hey?

(thunder crashes)

Dang thunder.

The storm will break,
but we'll be seeing

continued wet weather
with light showers and drizzle

continuing on into the evening.

Oh!

Uh, go ahead.

(thunder crashes, Skits barks)

(panting)

No time.

Sorry, pal, you might be able
to outrun the storm,

but you can never outrun Kazuo.

One thing I know,
your average canis domesticus--

a dog, in other words--
hates thunder.

Well, the best cure for that
is for you to sit back, relax

and listen to some music.

(loud rock music plays)

(whimpering)

(knocking)

Skits!

Oh, it's you.

Is this Martha's house?

That's right.
Skits is our other...

(crash)

KAZUO:
Uh-oh. Wind trouble.

Oh, no.

(thunder cracks, Skits whimpers)

Well, hello, young skipper.

While you're crawling
around there,

maybe you could keep a weather
eye out for me glasses, hmm?

They seem
to have gone astray again.

(sighs)

I just love being in a shower.

I mean, a rain shower.

A shower's just a bit of rain
that falls for a little while.

(Skits moans inquisitively)

What's that you say?

Reminds you of the sea?

Me, too.

The raindrops hitting your face

like the spray
from a beluga's blowhole,

the thunder
like the crashing of waves.

(sniffs, sighs)

And there's nothing like
the smell of wetness in the air.

Oh, I think I see me bus.

Well, indeed, there she is.

(Skits barks)

Enjoy the rainfall.

(Skits barking, panting)

(thunder crashes, Skits yelps)

(bowling pins crash,
Skits yelps)

(thunder crashes, Skits yelps)

(crashing)

(moans thoughtfully)

(crashing)

(crashing)

(whimpers, barks)

Rocky Road?

This bus isn't supposed
to stop at Rocky Road.

I need to go to the marina.

(Skits whimpering)

Well, thank you, young man.

But you should be standing up
straight and tall,

not crawling around
like a scallywag.

Skits?

What are you doing out here?

(barking)

Well, climb aboard,
and let's get you home.

You're not going
to Rocky Road, are ye?

(chuckling)

No, captain,
just the usual route.

Tack to starboard,
trim the mizzen mast

and sail the leeward wind
to port,

making all the local stops.
(chuckles)

(laughing):
Very good.

(whispering):
Can ye tell me what the heck
he's talking about?

(Skits whimpers)

So long now, laddie.

Get home safe.

There he is.

He was at a bus stop
outside of town.

Can you believe it?

Right in the middle
of a storm.

Skits must like
thunderstorms.

He was out running around
and having a great time

while Martha was
hiding under the bed.

Hey, I wasn't hiding.

I was just spending time
with my shoebox and...

(Skits grunts)

Eh, it's a long story.

Well, I better get going.

Got a schedule to keep.

Come on, Skits,
admit it.

You weren't out
having a great time.

You were scared
of the thunder.

(barking)

Oh, come on.

How could you discover
anything about thunder?

(barking)

Bowling?

What does bowling
have to do with it?

WINDY MCCLOUD (on TV):
Well, now that the rainfall
is over,

you can expect sunny skies
for the rest of the day.

However, tomorrow,
there is a % chance of hail.

(Skits moans fearfully)

Hail?
(whimpering)

And that's the weather.

Have a pleasant afternoon.

Hi, I'm Windy McCloud.

A lot of people ask me how I got

to be Wagstaff City's
number one meteorologist.

The answer is... precipitation.

Precipitation is any kind of
water that falls from the sky.

Like drizzle, which is light,
steady precipitation.

There's heavy precipitation.

As you can see, it's very wet,
a real downpour.

Th-th-there's
frozen precipitation,

better known as snow.

And there's another
frozen precipitation: hail.

Hail is ice.

Ow! I'm going.

Precipitation is all just water
in different forms:

rain, hail or snow.

These days, I get to stay
nice and dry in the studio.

(sighs)

Ooh, listen.

I learned a new
tongue twister.

A skunk sat on a stump
and thunk the stump stunk,

but the stump thunk
the skunk stunk.

(giggling):
You try.

(inhales deeply)

A skunk sat
on a stump...

Hey, look!

Uh-uh.
Listen carefully.

A skunk sat on...

No, I mean, look.

Isn't that Windy McCloud,
the weather lady?

Oh, how embarrassing.

Sunny the Weather Dog
is b*ating me in the ratings.

I know.

That mutt wouldn't know
a rain shower

from a meteor shower.

It used to be enough
for a weather forecaster

to be well-informed,
well-coifed and cute.

What?

No, now you have
to have four legs

and a wet nose, too.

Weather lady?

Have I got a tongue twister
for her.

Martha!

MARTHA:
Hey, Windy.

heard this one.ve
(spitting)

Whether the weather
be fine

or whether the weather
be not,

whether the weather
be cold

or whether the weather
be hot,

we'll weather the weather
whether we like it or not.

Impressive, huh?

(chattering over phone)

Hang on, Jerald.

I think I have something here.

Windy McCloud wants you
to be a weather dog?

Uh-huh.

The other
television station

has a weather dog
named Sunny.

But Sunny can't talk,

and I can.

Windy says we'll be tops
on TV in no time.

(brakes screeching)

Oh, all passengers behind
the white line, please.

So, uh, when
do you start?

In two weeks.

Oh, I can't wait.

Just think
of all the cool things

I'll be able to do
once I'm weather dog.

Martha, it's too hot.

Yeah, fix it, Martha.

Please?

Well, I really shouldn't.

(Skits whimpering, panting)

Oh, okay.

Rain!

(thunder rolling)

(Skits barking)

Good idea.

But hold
the thunder!

(all cheering)

(Helen yawning)

Oh, man.

(sighs)

What's wrong?

Mrs. Clusky is giving us
a test today.

I was hoping
it would snow

so school
would be canceled.

I'll take care of it.

MARTHA:
Snow!

Hey, sleepyhead.
(door opening)

They just announced on the radio

that school's been canceled
because of snow.

Yay!

Being weather dog will be fun.

No more rained out
baseball games.

No more hot, muggy nights.

If I am your weather dog,
I promise you...

DAD:
Martha...

weather dogs
don't control the weather.

They just make forecasts.

Forecasts?

What are those?

And that means
the cloudy days are gone.

We'll be having mild, sunny
weather through the weekend.

That's a forecast.

It's when you tell people

what you think will happen
in the future.

(Martha panting nervously)

Helen, I don't want
to be a weather dog.

Why not?

You'll be great.

No, I won't.

Windy forecast the weather
for next week.

I can't even make a
prediction about tomorrow.

Prediction?

I thought you needed
to make a forecast.

Prediction, forecast--
same thing.

They both mean
to tell people

what you think
is going to happen

before it does. (sighs)

I'm lousy
at making predictions.

(Jake babbling)

It's going right.

(babbling)

(Jake giggling)

That was mine.

I can't see three seconds
into the future,

much less into next week.

I wonder
how Windy does it.

Maybe she's psychic.

Psychic?

Yeah, maybe she's got
a crystal ball or something.

Show me tomorrow's weather.

Sunny and mild?

Or hot and hazy?

TRUMAN:
That's not how it's done.

Meteorologists are much more
scientific than that.

Meat?

Huh? Where?

(barking)

Not meat.

Meteorologist.

It's a name for someone
who studies the weather.

Oh. You're sure it's not a name
for someone who gives away meat?

Positive.

Words would be so much better

if they let dogs decide
what they meant.

TRUMAN:
A meteorologist
is not just a pretty face.

They use scientific information
to forecast the weather.

They don't just
make a guess?

Guess? No!

Meteorologists don't guess.

They look at cold fronts
and warm fronts.

They look at satellite pictures
and barometers and thermometers

and weather balloons
and all kinds of stuff.

Then, they guess.

Meteorologists use thermometers
to tell the temperature.

Temperature?
They check to see

if the air has a fever or not?

Well, yes, in a way.

Temperature is how hot or cold
something is.

They use weathervanes to see
where the wind is coming from.

(scoffs):
I just use my ears.

Oh, how am I supposed
to forecast the weather?

Clouds.

Clouds?

Clouds tell you all kinds
of things:

what kind of wind there is

and how much moisture
is in the air.

That is a cirrus cloud.

These are cumulus
and nimbus clouds.

Cirrus clouds are thin,
wispy clouds

that predict good weather.

Cumulus clouds
are white, puffy clouds.

And they also predict
good weather.

But nimbus clouds
are dark gray clouds

that predict it might rain.

Different types of
clouds are caused

by different
types of wind.

Now, Martha, what does
that cloud look like to you?

Uh, an elephant.

(sighs): That's not
what I meant.

(barks)

It does not look
like a whale.

It looks like
an elephant.

(barks)
Elephant!

(barks)

Elephant!

Why don't we go over
cloud types again?

MARTHA:
I still don't get it.

What?

I don't get what weather is.

Weather is just a word
that describes

what it's like outside.

If it's hot or cold,
rainy or sunny,

cloudy or snowy.

Truman, how do you know
so much about weather?

Wow, your parents
got this for you?

Mm-hmm.
Why?

Um, did you ever see that movie
The Wizard of Oz?

The one with the scary witch?

And the flying monkeys.

I don't remember them.

I only remember the tornado.

The tornado?

That big windy
funnel-shaped thing

that sucked everything
up into it?

BOTH:
Oh, yeah!

The idea of some big windy
funnel picking me up

and putting me down

in a place where everyone
wears sparkly clothes

and speaks
in squeaky little voices...

Ugh! I couldn't sleep
for weeks.

So my parents bought me this
so I'd understand the weather.

They hoped it would
calm me down.

Did it?

No, but it did get me doing
nightly weather forecasts.

It will be sunny and breezy
in the morning,

but cloudy with
thundershowers
in the afternoon.

Where's my lightning bolt?

Who took my lightning bolt?!

I can't work
under these conditions!

If you want, you can use it
for your new job.

I just have to find
my lighting bolt.

It's around here
somewhere.

No, thanks. I think
I've got a pretty good
handle on weather.

Clouds, temperature,
wind. Ha! Simple.

Today's forecast:
snow showers

with temperatures
in the low s.

Snow showers? In July?

I know it seems
hard to believe,

but clouds don't lie.
See for yourself.

(groans)

Today's forecast:

sunny and mild
with temperatures
in the mid- s.

(thunder crashes)

Cloudy.

Sunny.

Cold... I mean, hot.

I mean, hail!

Never mind.

What, no predictions?

No. All my predictions
are wrong.

I'm a horrible
weather dog.

You know, Martha,
meteorologists are
wrong a lot.

The wind changes
directions, and voot!

The rainstorm
that was supposed

to come Friday
shows up on Thursday

or misses you
altogether.

You're just saying that
to make me feel better.

(gasps)

I know.

Where are you going?

To see Truman.

He's got something

that may help my
forecasting ability.

Aha!

Did you find it?
Did you find your
lightning bolt?

No, but I did find the
last page of Blue Mangoes.

I'm doomed, doomed!

Not having a full set
of props is annoying,

but I don't think a stick-on
lightning bolt

will really affect
your accuracy.

I need all the help
I can get.

How did you do it,
Truman?

How were you able
to forecast the weather?

Each morning, I listen
to the weather forecast

on the radio and repeated
everything they said

on my forecast
that night.

What a great idea!

It's perfect and so simple.

Thanks, Truman.

Wait a minute.
I can't do that.

Why not?

People expect honesty
in their weather forecast,

and if I can't predict
the weather, well,

then I'm honestly not cut out
for the job.

And besides that,
dogs are terrible liars.

You can always tell
if we're up to something.

Not taking the job?
Why not?

I can't tell a cirrus cloud
from a nimbus cloud.

That's okay. I take care
of all the technical stuff.

I'm a certified
meteorologist.

Well, what am I supposed to do,
then?

Well, I thought we'd dress you
up in funny outfits

and you'd stand there
looking cute.

You mean, I don't have
to predict the weather?

Uh-uh.

You just want
a pretty face?

Yes. So will you
take the job?

Uh, no, but I know someone
who will.

And that wraps up our forecast
for this evening,

right, Weather Dog?

(barks, pants)

But, Martha,
I don't understand.

I thought you wanted
to be a weather dog.

I did when
I thought I could
control the weather.

When I found out
I was only able to
predict the weather,

that was okay, too.

But when she told me

it was just standing around
in funny outfits,

well, I knew there was only
one person for the job.

Who can resist Skits
in a raincoat?

(barks)

And that's the weather.
Have a pleasant afternoon.

MAN:
And we're out.

Let's move
those cameras.

Hi. I'm Windy McCloud.

You may know me
as TV's Windy McCloud.

A lot of people ask me how
I got to be Wagstaff City's

number-one meteorologist.

I'll tell you how.

Because I know a lot
about temperature.

(shivering): Temperature means
how hot or cold something is.

Right now, the temperature
is pretty cold,

freezing, in fact.

And right now, the temperature
is really hot.

(thunder crashes)

Yes, I like the temperature,

but I don't like
the precipitation.

Did you get all the words
about weather?

(barks "No")

Okay, let's see them again.

A shower's just a bit
of rain that falls
for a little while.

Those bright flashes of light
in the sky

are called "lightning."

That's right,

a storm.

Which means it's going to be
raining very hard.

And thunder is the sound
that the lightning makes.

Well, that's our show.
Say "bye," Skits.

Skits, drop that
lightning bolt!

I've been looking
for that.

Skits!