04x03 - Martha's Life in Crime, Parts 1 & 2

[bunniefuu]

artha was ♪

♪ She went... and... and... ♪
(barking, growls)

♪ When she ate
some alphabet soup ♪

♪ Then what happened
was bizarre... ♪

On the way to Martha's stomach,
the letters lost their way.

They traveled to her brain,
and now...

♪ She's got a lot to say ♪

♪ Now she speaks... ♪

How now, brown cow?

♪ Martha speaks ♪

♪ Yeah, she speaks
and speaks and speaks ♪

♪ And speaks and speaks... ♪

What's a caboose?

When are we eating again?

♪ Martha speaks... ♪

Hey, Joe, what do you know?

My name's not Joe.

♪ She's not always right, but
still that Martha speaks... ♪

Hi, there.

♪ She's got the voice,
she's ready to shout ♪

♪ Martha will tell you
what it's all about ♪

♪ Sometimes wrong,
but seldom in doubt ♪

♪ Martha will tell you
what it's all about ♪

♪ That dog's unique... ♪

Testing, one, two.

♪ Hear her speak ♪

♪ Martha speaks and speaks
and speaks and speaks and... ♪

♪ Communicates, enumerates,
elucidates, exaggerates ♪

♪ Indicates and explicates ♪

♪ Bloviates and overstates
and... ♪

(panting)

♪ Hyperventilates! ♪

♪ Martha-- to reiterate--
Martha speaks. ♪

Hello!

If you want something to read,

the library is a place full
of promising possibilities.

In The Odyssey, the author Homer
narrates the adventures

of a man named Odysseus.

Charlotte's Web
tells the story of a spider

who aspires to help her friend.

What's this?

"My Life in Crime"...

by Martha?!

This does sound promising.

Be sure to listen now for words
like "narrate," "autobiography,"

"aspirations" and "reminiscing"

and I'll see you at the end
of the program.

(sirens wailing)

MARTHA:
Step on it! Faster!

TRUMAN:
Yikes! I can't believe this!

MARTHA:
Turn there! Turn!

MARTHA:
Oh, no! They're catching up!

What now?

ANNOUNCER:
Is your cat trying
to tell you something?

(cat meows)

Oh, they always cut away
at the most exciting part.

Those crooks
aren't too smart.

It's not going to take long
for the cops to catch them.

They always do.

They caught me back then.

Mm-hmm.

Oh, well.

As much fun as this is,

those ducks don't bark
at themselves.

Heigh-ho.
I'm off to the park.

Huh?

When you were robbing what?!

Stores.

See ya.

You robbed a store?

How did you do that?

You robbed a store?

No.

Oh.

Stores.

I robbed stores.

See ya.

Wait, wait, wait.

This is a joke, right?

You didn't really
rob stores, did you?

Well, a museum
isn't really a store.

So I guess that one
doesn't count.

Fine, I robbed a store.

A museum?

When were you going
to tell me this?

Well, it never came up.

But maybe one day I'll
write my life story.

And then I'll tell everyone.

You're going to write
your autobiography?

Oh, no, my life story.

That's what
an autobiography is--

a book someone writes
about their own life.

Whoa!

Oh, Truman!

Are you okay?

Uh-huh.

Can I help you write it?

Your autobiography?

Starting with your life
in crime?

I guess.

If you don't mind barking
at a few ducks first.

(Martha barking)

(Truman growling)

Get out of here!
Go fly south!

Go molt.

You're not even
a monophyletic group.

(barking)

Is that enough?

Can we start
your autobiography now?

Sure, why not?

Okay, you talk
and I'll write.

Let's see now...

"My life in crime.

"An autobiography.

By Martha."

(clears her throat)

"Copyright.

All rights reserved."

Martha...

Yeah?

Just tell me the story.

Okay.

My life in crime.

I was just a puppy, and already
I was behind bars.

I was in the animal shelter,
waiting to be adopted.

Kazuo was in charge back then,
just like he is now.

And a lot of people came
through looking for pets.

(people chattering)

I need one that fits.

Is that as happy as it gets?

(whimpering)

Will her ears grow?

Dude, I think you
need a rabbit.

MARTHA:
But no one thought I was
just right for them.

Back then I couldn't speak.

I hadn't eaten
any alphabet soup yet.

I couldn't tell anyone
what a great pet I would be.

(whimpering quietly)

Don't give up hope, Martha.

There are still lots
of possibilities.

Possibilities are things
that can happen.

Come on.

There are lots of people
who want dogs.

It's possible you might
even be a police dog.

MARTHA:
A police dog!

I could just imagine it.

(blowing loudly)

That's just one possibility.

It's also possible you could be
a water rescue dog.

(kids grunting)

Yeah!

(whistle blowing)

KAZUO:
Or it's possible

you could go and live with
a family in a bowling alley.

(ball rolling,
pins crashing)

KAZUO:
Where you can put your keen
sense of smell to good use.

(sniffing)

Those possibilities
sounded great.

But none of them were
what I really wanted.

What I really, really,
really wanted was...

Wait-- slow down.

Let me catch up.

"What I yearned for was..."

Oh, I didn't
say "yearned."

I said "I really,
really wanted."

But that's
what "yearn" means.

To really, really
want something.

Oh. Good.

So none of that was
what I yearned for.

I yearned for a home
and a family of my own.

Then, suddenly, things began
to look really promising.

A cat? Sure, we've got
plenty of cats.

Come on.

Right this way.

HELEN:
Hi!

(barks brightly)

What's your name?

MOM:
Helen, mira.

Oh, isn't he cute?

I guess.

(panting excitedly)

Look at this one.

Does she have a name?

That's Martha.

Martha!

But honey,
that's not a cat.

She's better than a cat.

MARTHA:
This, I knew, was a girl
after my own heart.

Let's adopt her.

Oh, Helen, we already discussed
this, don't you recall?

Dogs require
an awful lot of care.

Yes, but...

Lo siento.

I'm sorry, Helen.

Martha looks very sweet,

but a puppy is just
too much right now.

Suddenly things didn't
look so promising.

And they were about
to get worse...

A lot worse.

Excuse us, do you
work here?

Uh... yeah?

Carlotta Bumblecrumb.

My card.

Cool. What can I do
for you, Ms. Crumblebum?

That's Bumblecrumb.

I'm here to adopt
a dog this big--

about the size of a shoebox.

Exactly.

(dog barking)

(whimpering)
Hmm.

Mmm, this one
looks promising.

And when I say

you look promising,

I mean I think

you'll work out just right.

Yes, I believe this one
holds great promise.

"Martha."

Can Martha be trained?

Trained to do what?

None of your business!

I-I mean...

I recall that in my youth
I owned a dog who did tricks,

and ever since those days,
I've yearned for another.

Hmm, why does she need
to be the size of a shoebox?

So I can push the mutt
through a hole about...

I mean, it's because I've
already built a tiny doghouse.

Yes, built it
out of a shoebox,

and I need a pooch
that will fit inside.

You know she's going to grow,
though, right?

No problemo.

I'll build a bigger doghouse.

So, how much do you want
for her?

Ma'am, we don't charge you
to adopt a pet.

(Martha whimpering)

But, uh, Martha hasn't
had all her sh*ts yet.

Yeah, I just recalled that.

So, like, you'll have
to come back,

like, maybe in a few weeks.

I see.

Yes, of course.

Ta-ta, sweet cheeks.

Mama will be back before long.

Whew!

MARTHA:
I didn't have to go
with that lady.

But still I was alone.

And it was dark.

And I was scared
by every little sound.

(dog howling)

(other dogs barking
and howling)

I didn't get much sleep
back then.

HELEN:
But Mom, I promise I'll take
care of the puppy.

Pretty please?

That's what you said
about Goldie.

¿Lo recuerdas?

Do you recall
what happened to her?

I thought goldfishies would like
to swim in the lake.

I didn't know
she wouldn't come back.

Please?

Helen, we've been over this.

A dog is una gran
responsabilidad.

You need to wash them,
walk them...

I'll wash her.

I'll walk her.

Please, please, please,
please, please?

TRUMAN:
Hang on.

You weren't there.

How can you narrate
that part?

Narrate?

"Narrate" is when
you tell a story.

You were in the animal shelter

when this part of the story
was happening.

How can you narrate things
you didn't see?

Helen told me.

She narrated it to me.

Oh. Okay.

Whose autobiography
is this, anyway?

Sorry, go ahead.

How do you spell "Martha"?

Oh, she's got me.

Pleading and begging
I can fight off,

but I'm no match for this.

What? You mean...?

Que sí, you can have Martha.

Thank you!

Yay!

Whew!

We better go first thing
in the morning.

KAZUO:
Guess what, Martha?

You're being adopted!

MARTHA:
Those were the sweetest words
I had ever heard!

Here she is, your new owner.

Yes! That little red-haired
girl came back for me.

Or so I thought.

Martha, say hello
to your new owner,

Miss Eudora
Biddlecomb.

Oh, hello, you sweet
little poochie.

We are going to be
such good pals, you and I.

Ohh... I knew
I liked you before.

Before?

Uh, uh, before I came in.

I had a feeling
I'd like what I see here.

And I was right.

I'm going to love owning you.

There we go.

Good poochie.

(barking)

Quiet!

Ha!

Surprised to see me again,
ain't ya?

Well, you're mine now,

and tomorrow you start
working for me.

Home!

(whimpers)

(Martha gulps)

Of all the promising
possibilities

I had yearned for,

this was not how I thought
I'd end up.

Hey, check out this song.

♪ ♪

NARRATOR:
Anijah woke up.

It was a lovely morning.

Anijah brushed her teeth.

Who's talking?

NARRATOR:
I am.

I'm the narrator.

I'm narrating your story.

Narrating? What's that?

NARRATOR:
Anijah, I'm glad you asked.

FEMALE SINGERS:
♪ He's the narrator ♪

NARRATOR:
That's me.

♪ He's narrating ♪

Anijah painted her nails.

♪ He's there to tell us all ♪

She danced.

♪ What needs explaining ♪

Oh. Well, I'd like some privacy,
please.

♪ So stop complaining ♪

NARRATOR:
Anijah closed the door.

Quiet!

NARRATOR and SINGERS:
Sorry!

MARTHA:
So there I was, trapped in that
limo with a pair of crooks.

I was never going
to see Helen again.

Whoa!

I never knew any of that
happened to you.

That's shocking.

Yeah, it is.

(groans and sighs)

Well, it's been fun sitting
around reminiscing, Truman,

but I better be getting home.

What? Wait!

What do you mean?

"Reminiscing" means
thinking and talking

about things that
happened in the past.

For example, I've been
reminiscing about...

I know what
"reminiscing" means.

Then what's the matter?

You can't stop
reminiscing now.

You've been kidnapped.

Right, but it's
almost dinnertime.

I can tell you the rest
some other day.

No, you can't.

You can't leave a guy
hanging like that.

I have to know how
your story ends.

(sighs)

Well, I guess I can stay
a little longer.

If you really want to hear...

Please!
You have to tell me.

Okay, well, I wasn't the
only one who was unhappy.

She's gone?

Ah, I'm sorry.

Martha!

(sniffles)

MARTHA:
Meanwhile, those crooks had
taken me to their warehouse.

Rise and shine, pooch.

Time to begin your training.

Okay, dog, now pay
close attention.

See this bally?

When I throw it,
you're going to fetch it.

Got that?

Fetch the bally.

Fetch the bally!

Go on!

Go on, pooch!
Fetch!

Fetch the bally!

Fetch?

(pleading):
Fetch it?

Oh!

Show this mutt
how it's done.

Go on, Mr. Stubble.

Fetch the bally!

Fetch it!

Oh!
(panting)

Good boy!

Who's a good boy,
Mr. Stubble?

Fetch the bally, Mr. Stubble.

That's a good boy!

I wished I had a cookie, too.

And fetching looked

like it could actually
be kind of fun.

Excellent!

Good fetch!

Still, I wondered.

What were those two
really up to?

It didn't take long
to find out.

(grunts)
Shh!

Here it is, Mr. Stubble.

For the nostalgic sports fan:

thousands of dollars
in rare collectible junk.

And soon it will be ours!

(laughs)

In you go.

You see, Mr. Stubble?

Perfect fit.

Now, fetch the bally.

(sniffing)

Fetch!

(alarm wailing)

(yips)

Yes!

Good dog!

Now bring the bally here.

No, no, no!

Fetch the bally!

Fetch it!

Bring the bally back here!

(barks)

(gasps)

(alarm continues wailing)

Here you go.

Come here with the bally.

Nice dog,
nice dog, nice dog.

Aha!

Got you, you mangy mutt!

(ball squishing)
Got it.

(disgusted):
Oh!

Come on, let's
get out of here.

(tires screeching)

(police siren wailing)

Nervous Ned?

Yeah?

H-h-how did you know?

Just a guess.

(snaps fingers)

Here. I have
the item we discussed.

A genuine baseball
signed by Babe Ruth.

Nice work, Stumblebum.

Bumblecrumb.

Hey, wait a minute.

This don't say "Babe Ruth."

It says "Blagghh Rummff."

It just has a little dog drool
on it, that's all.

This ball is worth
a small fortune.

Yeah, well...

Maybe next time, huh?

Then how about
an autographed pooch?

See, her tongue says
"Babe Ruth"...

uh, backwards.

A perfect plan,
ruined by dog drool.

Oh!

I had aspirations, you know.

Huh?

Aspirations, Mr. Stubble,
aspirations.

Aspirations are things
you really want to do.

I aspired to be rich.

But here I am,
wearing cheap plastic bangles.

It ain't fair!

(coughing)

What is it?

"Wagstaff City is proud
to welcome Jingles,

"the famous cat from the Krazy
Kitty Kat Food commercials,

"who will be staying
at our own Come-On-Inn

for the next three days."

That fat cat is worth millions!

I wish I could get my hands
on him.

And maybe I can.

(whimpers)

(whispering)

Okay, Mr. Stubble,
here's what we'll do.

I'll pretend to be
Room Service

with some free cream
for the pussycat

and a little surprise, too.

Room service.

Oh, goody goody!

Please come in.

BUMBLECRUMB:
Here we are, kitty.

A nice yummy treat, just for...

YOU!

(barks)

(meows)

Go! Chase the cat!

Chase the...

Oh, never mind.

Stubble! Now!

(Stubble grunting)

What are you doing?

Get out from under there!

(screaming and grunting)

(Jingles growling)

(screeches)

(yelling, banging, barking)

And that's just one reason

why cats are not
my favorite people.

I can't believe it!

I had no idea you had
such an amazing background.

I do?

Who knew?

Your background is

all the things that have
happened to you before this.

Oh. I do have a pretty
interesting background.

What happened then?

Well, after that, we went
back to the hideout.

(ball bouncing)

Bah!

When I reflect on my life,
Mr. Stubble....

Huh?

Oh, "reflecting" means

thinking really carefully
about something.

When I reflect on my life, I
often wonder where I went wrong.

Somewhere in my background,
something went awry.

TV ANNOUNCER:
And now, the Museum
Network presents

Dinosaurs on Display.

Oh, who cares about
a bunch of dusty old bones?

Ooh!

(whispering)

(chuckling):
That's it!

We've been going
about this all wrong.

The pooch should be doing
what dogs do naturally:

fetching bones.

There it is, Mr. Stubble.

No more reminiscing
about the past.

The past is about
to make us very rich.

I'm going to steal
that dinosaur,

even if I have to do it
one bone at a time.

Okay, pooch.

Your job is very simple.

Fetch the bones.
Got that?

(barking eagerly)

Fetch the bones.

BUMBLECRUMB:
No, turn this way.

No, no, wait.

Lift your leg up.

No, no, other leg!

Turn around.

Hold still!

(disgusted):
I'll do it.

(whimpering)

Fetch the bones, pooch!

Fetch!

(rumbling)

(gasps)

(screaming)

(alarm beeping)

Get me out of this!

OFFICER:
What on earth?!

It's alive!

(barks)

(both gasp)

(barking)

You know, there's
something odd

about those cave people.

(sneezes)

You're going to jail
for a long, long time,

Fumblethumb.

I do wish someone would
get this right.

It's Bumblecrumb!

Bumblecrumb!

Sorry, girl, we have
to take you

to the animal shelter.

MOM:
What about this one?

She's almost the same
color as Martha.

What do you think?

I guess.

You could name her Martha.

You think we could train her
to fetch?

Well...

Hey, can you give me
a hand with the groceries?

Groceries?

You bought groceries?

Sure.

Don't you recall?

I said I might go by there
on the way home from work?

Ahh!

And I need some help.

Well, that's terrific.

Claro que sí.

Helen, you can
come help, too.

Okay.

There aren't any groceries.

(gasps)

Martha! You got her!

You got Martha!

Yay!

Martha, you're home at last.

MARTHA:
And it was true.

I was home.

So that's your background.

And in the end, all of your
aspirations came to be.

That's right.

It was everything I ever
could have hoped for.

Me too.

Helen!

Now, if you're done
writing your autobiography,

dinner is waiting.

MARTHA:
Race you!

(all shouting happily)

"Sequence."

"Sequence" means one thing
that happens after another.

When you do something
in the right sequence,

you do it in
the right order.

The sequence for feeding
Martha is

to get the can of soup
from the cupboard,

open it,

then you put it
right in the dish.

(slurping)

Now, what would happen

if you didn't do that
in the right sequence?

What if...

you got the can of soup,

and you put the can
in the dish?

That wouldn't work.

It's important to do things
in the proper sequence.

You have to put on your pants
before you put on your shoes.

You're not opening the can.

Martha, forget it.

You just ate
a whole can of soup.

But it's not for me.

It's for them.

So they can understand...
sequence.

Well, it was worth a try, right?

Do you recall
all of today's words?

Do you yearn to hear
some of them again?

I do!

Possibilities are things
that can happen.

Aspirations are things
you really want to do.

And when I say

you look promising,

I mean I think

you'll work out just right.

Reminiscing means thinking
and talking

about things that happened
in the past.

But that's what yearn means--

to really, really
want something.

See you next time when we'll
narrate another story.

Bye-bye!

To dig up some more fun words
♪ Who's that dog? ♪

♪ Who's
that dog? ♪

♪ Dog, d-d-dog, d-dog. ♪

That dog is Rugby.

Catch!

My name is Allison
and I read to Rugby.

Rugby is a reading partner.

"Martha's family had a wonderful
party trick."

Rugby listens to me
reading to him.

When Rugby comes to the school,
he kisses me.

Today we're going to read
Martha Walks the Dog.

"As usual, her pals
were scratching,

sniffing or snoozing."

It's fun for a kid to do this

because they have a big ball
of personality

listening to them read.

"Bop! Bop! Bop! Bop!"

If you have trouble reading,
a dog will pay attention.

A dog won't say you're bad
at reading.

They just roll with it.

You can count on dogs.

I like reading to Rugby
because it's really fun.

♪ He's that dog,
dog, d-d-dog, d-dog. ♪