06x03 - Raising Dil/No Naps

[bunniefuu]

( Snoring )

( Gasps )

( Kids laughing )

( Laughing )

Stu:
I still don't get
what kind of office picnic

Won't let you
bring your kids.

Drew:
uh, they call it an outdoor
brainstorming session.

We have to wear ties
and bring our computers.

I'm not sure
this is a real picnic at all.




Betty:
aw, don't whine, chaz.

My "women who weld" class
ends at six.

I'll snag howard
and we'll meet back here

For beanie-wienies.

( Chuckles )

Betty:
looks like he's ready
to dig in.

( Laughing ):
ain't it cute?

( Didi gasps )

Stu, look!
He's got a spoon.

And he did it
all by himself.

( Kids grunting )

Better haul out
the baby book

And write that down!

( Both gasp )




Stu?

Have you kept
dill's baby book?

You kept it.

I'm... I'm sure we have one

Around here somewhere.

Oh, sweet mother-of-pearl,
do you believe those two?

I found it much easier

To record chuckie's
entire infancy on video.

You really should watch
weeks ten through 13.

( Chuckling )
they're a scream.

Oh, here it is.

Now, let me just
get a pen.

What kind of book is this?

There's no pictures
or words or nothing.

Oh, but we're going
to fill it up right away

Starting with my big boy
and his spoon.

Aunt didi, nobody's going
to read a book 'bout a spoon.

A beautiful princess named
angelica-- that's a good book.

No, dear,
this is dill's baby book.

This is where we'll write down
all his firsts--

His first smile and
the first time he rolled over...

And... Oh, stu...
We're so far behind!

Let's not panic.

We'll just recreate
everything from memory.

How hard can it be?

( Burps )

( Giggling )

( Panicked ):
okay, now, we know

He's done that
before, right?

Angelica,
what's that book

My mommy took?

It's your baby book.

It's where grownups write
the boring stuff

You babies do.

Like what, angelica?

Like when you
burp and drool

And make icky sounds.

I bet dill's baby book
got lots it in.

Actually, it's empty, but
I guess that's no surprise

Since he never does
nothing interesting.

Well, that's okay,
he'll do lots of neat stuff

When he gets older.

Oh, tommy,
dill isn't a boring blob

'Cause he's little

It's 'cause he's dumb.

Even dumber than
your regular babies.

He is not!

Sure he is.

Haven't you noticed
dill can't even walk?

When I was his age
I was talking and walking

And riding a tricycle.

I just hope
uncle stu and aunt didi

Don't take him back
to the baby store

To trade him for a smart baby.

( Giggling and cooing )

They can't trade him
for a different baby.

He's not dumb.

Yeah, he's just... He... Um...

What is he, tommy?

He's just
a regular baby, lil--

Like us, only littler.

And he smells
worser.

But... That's
a good thing.

Chuckie:
yeah, I bet he's
really, really smart!

( Giggling )

( Gurgling )

( Phil clears his throat )

'Course, he does just
sit there most of the time.

You guys, I bet dill knows
how to do lots of stuff.

Watch!

Uh, maybe he thought
it was a doughnut.

Here, let me try.

I'll bet
he knows the difference

'Tween scary and nice.

Okay, dill,
make believe phil

Is a big, scary monster.

( Growling, yelling... )

( Scared ):
okay... All right, phil, thanks.

Now, make believe lil
is your mommy with a blankie.

Come here, nice,
stinky little baby.

Now, which is betterest?

( Dill cooing )

( Yelps )

( Cheering )
all right, dill!

He picked mommy!

( Mutters, grunts )

No, dill!

Oh, he was right afore.

( Giggling )

Looks like it's back
to the baby store.

Uh, maybe angelica
was right, tommy.

Angelica:
I'm always right.

What did I say?

( Squealing ):
yucky, yucky!

Can't you say "angelica" yet?

( Giggling ):
yucky!

Oh, I'm sorry, tommy,
I forgot.

Of course, dill
can't talk right.

Dill can so talk.

Uh, he just needs, uh...

To learn some more words.

Uh... That's what we'll do.

We'll teach dill
all the names of stuff

And then he'll be
really smart.

Hmm, now, let's see
what we can teach him 'bout.

Dill, this is a statue
of our grandpa holding a ball.

He gots this
'cause he turned old.

Can you say
"grandpa"?

Mine.

Um... Let's try
something else.

This is the clicker.

It makes the t.b. Wink at you.

Can you say
"clicker"?

Mine!

( Sighs )

Here's a plain old sock.

Dill, say "sock".

Mine!

He sure knows
that word.

Maybe the grownups
will keep him
if you make him

Into a lamp.

Oh, we gots to make him

A smart baby somehow!

What are we
going to do?

Well, I could
have teached him

Some really smart stuff,
seeing as I go to school.

Wait, angelica!

Would you teach dill, please!

( Kids pleading )

Well... I'd like to,
but you see

I'm very, very busy with
my princess angelica castle.

Of course,
if you wanted to help...

We'll do anything!

Really?

You babies would, say...

Dig me a moat for the castle?

Sure.
Right, guys?

Right! Right! Right!

And you wouldn't mind me

Locking you into the dungeon?

Nope!
Right, guys?

( All hesitating )

I guess so.

You'll take care of all

The princess angelica ponies

And shovel out the staples?

( All muttering ):
okay... If we got to...
If you say so.

All right, I'll teach him.

Thanks, angelica!

'Scuse me, tommy

But from now on,
it's... Ms. Pickles.

Hmm, baby's first laugh.

It was on my birthday.

Are you sure?

It was right after
he spit up on my cake.

Oh, that's right.

( Didi giggles )

( Kids grunting )

Now, class, afore we start

Um, do any of you stinky babies
have to go potty?

Um, I think I do.

Well, too bad, finster,
you're in school now

And we can't have
all these interruptions.

Now, for our first lesson,
I'll explain the whole world.

First, the sky.

The sky is blue 'cause
it's all water, like the ocean.

But, ange... I mean, ms. Pickles

Uh... I thought there was

Something else up there,
like air.

I'm the teacher, so everything
I say is right!

If the sky is water,
where's all the fishies?

Um... Uh...

The clouds is fish!

Okay, then how come
when it rains

The fish don't
fall down?

'Cause there's no water
down here!

And no more talking in class!

Now, where was i?

What about the water
in the ocean?

Was someone talking?

All:
no, ms. Pickles.

Good!

Now, underneath the sky
is the ground

Which is made of cheese.

Cheese?! The ground's not made
of cheese.

Hey, who's the teacher here?

( Giggling, cooing )

Cheese, cheese!

I said no more talking!

Yucky, yuck...

Ow!
That's it!

I'm done being
his teacher!

But... Angelica, you can't go.

You got to teacher dill.

He pulled my hair!

And ms. Pickles,
if the ground was cheese

Wouldn't peoples eat it?

No, phillip,
the nanimals would.

Peoples would eat
it first, lillian.

No, they wouldn't,
phillip!

Ms. Pickles, I got to go potty!

You babies better be quiet

Or I'm going to
send you all home!

Oh, my goodness!

What's going on out there?

( All yelling )

Oh, no!

My mommy and daddys is coming,
and dill isn't any smarter.

Angelica! How did you
get dill all the way out...

( Gasps )
stu, look!

Wow! He hasn't
done that before.

We got to put this
in the baby book.

I think we have

A smart little guy
on our hands.

( Gurgling, giggling )

Did you guys
hear that?

Dill's a smart baby after all!

Okay, babies,
I saved dill for you.

It's time to get to work
on my moat.

But, angelica,
you didn't save dill.

He saved hisself.

What do
you mean?

I teached him everything
he knows.

Uh-uh, you didn't teach him
to put his toes in his mouth.

Yeah, I'll bet you
can't even do that!

Sure, I can.

Watch, I'll show you.

( Groaning )

( Grunting )

Gosh, tommy, dill must be

Even smarter than angelica.

I'll show you, dumb babies!

( Grunting... )

( Dill spits up )

Oh, dear.

( Dill cooing )

Well, that book should
be filled up in no time.

( All laughing... )

( Dill wailing... )

( Giggling... )

What's wrong, tommy?

Aw, nothing.

I'm just a little sleepy.

Dill was crying all night.

Thanks for watching my little
angel this afternoon.

It'll give angelica
a chance to try out

My latest invention--

The merry magic music ball.

Once you press this button,
it becomes a gateway

To enchantment.

Just share it
with the other kids.

Have fun, princess.

Okay, daddy.

What's that, angelica?

I don't know.

Some murky magic thing.

( Playing electronic
calliope music )

Wow.

It's so pretty.

What do you think it is?

Only the bestest, neatest toy
in the whole world.

And you babies
can't play with it.

Yeah, but tommy's daddy said
you had to share it with us.

Well... Sure, he said that

But... He forgot it's just
for grownup kids.

See? It says so right here.

We're growed up enough to play
with it, angelica.

Ha! You?

If you're so growed up,
then you could, um...

Drink out of that sippy cup
over there.

We can do that.

That's easy.

Yeah, I can!

Without the sippy top.

( All gasping )

Well... It can't be that hard.

Chuckie:
yeah.

Lil:
it's only a little cup.

( Waves crashing )

( Slurping )

Oh.

( Slurping )

Uh-oh.

( Slurping )

( Gulping )

Oh.

Sorry, babies.

Chuckie:
wait!

I'll bet tommy can do it.

( Grunting )

Okay, there, tommy.

( Sighing )

See? See? Tommy did it.

Yay!

Now we can play
with the murky ball.

You think that
makes you growed up?

If you babies was really
growed up, then you could, um...

What?

Uh...

Do what I do everyday--
stay up through nap time.

Both ( giggling ):
that's easy.

I did that once.

Uh, guys. Guys!

Good luck, babies.

( Cackling )

I don't think this is
a very good idea, chuckie.

Sure it is, tommy.

But I'm, I'm really tired.

I don't think I can stay up
all the way through my nap.

Just think about the toy, tommy.

( Giggling )
think of how much fun
it will be.

( Yawning )

I don't know.

I suppose I can try.

Okay, kids.

Time for your nap.

Boy, the babies
sure look tired, aunt didi.

Want me to get some
extra pillows?

( Dill wailing )

( Gasping )

Thank you,
angelica.

That's very sweet of you.

( Cackling )

Sweet dreams, babies.

So, sleepy?

No.

Nope.

Uh-uh.

Mmm.

( Yawning )

Come on, guys.

Let's play a game to help us
stay awake.

There's got to be a way to get
those babies to nap.

( Dill giggling )

Dill's just
wide awake.

Maybe a little
baby food will help.

Sometimes a full tummy
is all a baby needs

To fall asleep.

A full tummy, huh?

( Gasping )

Well, I guess since you babies
aren't going to take a nap

How about I get you
a little something to eat

While you play?

Mind giving me
a hand there, phil?

Sure. Ow.

You know, she's really
much nicer to us

Since we growed up.

I... I coming.

Hmm, now, what should we get
for you babies?

Say, those look good.

( Sniffing )

( Grunts in disgust )

Mmm. Peas.

( Gobbling... )

Hey, you're right angelica.

These are pretty good.

( Popping )

( Phil gobbling... )

Hmm, I thought aunt didi said
a full tummy

Makes them fall asleep.

( Spoon clanging )

( Snoring )

That's better.

( Grunting )

Phillip!

What happened, angelica?

Phil kept eating everything.

I told him it wasn't very nice.

Then he just fell asleep.

( Sobbing )

But... He... Never ever sleeps
without me!

( Wailing )

Hmm. Something smells
funny here, chuckie.

I think maybe it's lil.

No. I gots a feeling
angelica did this.

Uh, we'll be right back,
you guys.

We promised
we'd never nap alone.

How sad.

You know, it kind of reminds me
of that story.

( Sniffling )
story?

The one about the little brother
and sister puppies

That always
fell asleep together.

I never heared that one.

Really?

It's one of my favorites.

Hmm. Just as I suspended.

Mmm. Mushed peas.

A couple jars of this

Will put even
the toughest baby to sleep.

And angelica's the only one
that could open those jars.

( Gasping )
oh, no!

We left her alone with...

( Snoring )

...lil.

It's just you
and me now, tommy.

I don't think I can make it.

But we have to, tommy.

For them.

Hmm. There must be something
in here

That puts babies to sleep.

( Playing lullaby )

Hmm.

I won't be long.

I just want to get
my h*nky horn.

That way, you can squeak it
if I start to go to sleep.

Look at this
while I'm gone.

Hi, chuckie.

( Screaming )

What are you doing?

Oh... Just, uh, reading...
This book.

That's nice.

You know what I like to do

When I'm reading?

No.

I like to listen to music.

( Playing music )

Not... The lullaby!

Chuckie:
tommy!

( Gasping )

Angelica!

You did this.

So what if I helped him along
a little?

It's not my fault

You're all a bunch
of sleepy babies.

That is, except for you.

You're not going to put
me to sleep, angelica.

You're right, tommy.

I guess my little tricks
won't work on you.

Well, why don't
we just sit down together

And wait till nap time is over?

Um, that's okay.

I'll just stand up.

Or we could just rest our heads
on these pillows.

I'm fine!

Well, we could just
cover ourselves

With this blankie

So we'll be nice
and warm while we wait.

Uh, blankie?
I don't need a blankie.

( Grunts )

( Yawning )

( Yawning )

Yeah, tommy,
you won't be much longer now.

( Exaggerated yawning )

( Yawning )

( Yawning )

( Yawning )

Maybe I'll just sit down
on the floor.

( Yawning )

( Sleepily ):
yeah, just for a minute.

I'll just rest my head
a little...

( Yawning )

( Sleepily ):
doesn't mean...
You'll fall asleep.

( Sighing )

( Tommy snoring softly... )

( Angelica snores )

( Snoring )

( Snoring )

Good night, angelica.

( Muttering sleepily... )

( Playing music )

( Muttering... )

( All snoring )

( Kids giggling, chatting )

Wow, tommy.

How did you do it?

Well, I almost didn't make it.

But I guess, in the end,
angelica yawned

Just a little too big.

( Snoring softly )

( Playing music )

( Cooing, giggling )

I was going to give
that one to angelica

If she liked it, but it
just put her to sleep.

Don't worry, honey.

She'll like the next one.

( Dill giggling )

Angelica:
can't you say "angelica?"

Dill:
yucky!