06x05 - Submarine/Chuckie's a Lefty

[bunniefuu]

( Snoring )

( Gasps )

( Kids laughing )

Sailor:
where are we, captain?

Captain:
we're in unexplored territory.

Sailor:
sir, look at the size
of that thing.

It's headed for flanaghan.

Captain:
sound the alarm!

( Alarm buzzing )




Sailor:
we did it, sir.

He's leaving flanaghan alone.

Captain:
prepare to chase, first mate.

That leviathan is a danger
to everyone.

Prepare to fire torpedoes.

First mate:
aye, aye, sir.

Torpedoes ready, captain.

Captain:
what are you waiting for?
Fire torpedo!

Watch this,
my scrubmarine

Can go to the bottom
of the fishy t*nk.

Fishy, fishy.

How come he doesn't
need to be

In a scrubmarine?

He's a tuba diver.




He just blows
in his tuba

Then, he can breathe
underwater.

( Cooing )

Look out, tommy, that big
fishy's coming back

To get the tuba diver.

Don't worry,
chuckie.

Scrubmarine
to the rescue!

You young
people today

Just have to have
everything new.

Why, I've had
my old station wagon

Since you were 15 years old.

Ow!

Pop, I love my car.

But with the new baby

We need something bigger.

I can get a great deal on
a pastorelli 9000 mini-van

Just by buying it used.

Used?! You'll never find
a good deal on a used car.

I will at
looney larry's.

Any car on the lot
for half price.

I'll tell you what those
used car salesmen are--

They're sharks!

Don't worry, pop.

I know what I'm doing.

( Glass breaking )

Well...

Pack it up, sprouts.

We're going to go along

And save daddy from the sharks.

( Gurgling, giggling )

Do you see
the sharks yet, tommy?

Not yet, chuckie.

I don't even see the water.

You know, they keep the good
cars in the back for themselves.

These cars in the showroom
are just a bunch

Of spruced-up
junk piles.

Uh-huh. Just let me
do the talking, all right?

What is this place?

I don't know.

It kind of looks like
my fishy t*nk

But I don't see my...

There they are.

( Kids gasp )

Tommy:
scrubmarine!

( Gurgling )

Quick, we gots to get
on that scrubmarine

And save my dad
from the sharks.

Let's paddle.

( Dill gurgling )

The pastorelli

Is a fine piece
of italian engineering--

300 Horsepower,
superb handling

And its unique
tube-like design

Offers the lowest wind
resistance quotient.

Very nice, if you like
driving a metal salami.

Good job,
let's climb on.

But how do we get in?

Huh, hmm, huh...

There has to be a door
on it somewheres.

See?

Come on, scrubmariners,
let's go!

( Grunting )

And this genuine
venetian vinyl

Is standard
on all models.

Sounds like you know
your pastorellis.

I'm a big fan.

You're a big ninny.

Your kids like them, too.

( Giggling, talking )

Oh, my gosh, pop,
how'd they get in there?

Don't worry about it,
showroom models don't work.

My bet is that none
of these lemons work.

Maybe you'd like
to stay here

And watch the tikes
while I show dad

A terrific little number
we just got in today.

Would you mind, pop?

I'll need my wits
about me

If we're going
to talk turkey.

Yup, I'll keep
an eye on the sprouts.

But don't buy anything
without me.

Don't worry,
we'll consult you

Every step of the way.

So cute when
they get old--

Like big, bald kids.

( Snoring )

Tommy:
see anything,
worst mate chuckie?

Nope, nothing, captain tommy.

Of course, I'm only looking
through my hands.

Looky, looky.

( Gasps )
oh, no!

There's something swimming
around my daddy!

( Kids gasping )

Chuckie:
shark!

And the chrome
package

Raises the resale
by ten percent, easy.

Not that
you'll every want

To let go
of this baby.

He can't hear us.

He's going in!

Guys, we gots to dive
this scrubmarine

And save my daddy
from the shark!

Paddle stations, everybody!

( Siren blaring )

How do we make it go down,
captain tommy?

It's just like a elevator,
worst mate chuckie--

Push the button.

Tommy:
here we go!

( Alarm blaring,
horn honking )

( Inhaling )
( inhaling )

( Giggling )

( Beeps )

And the car alarm
is included.

Absolutely no
extra charge.

So what do you think?

( Popping )

That... That's
an anti-theft device.

Do you see my daddy anywheres?

No, I see rocks
and some seaweeds

And I think over there

Is a peanut butter
and jellyfish.

Uh-oh. What happened
to the lights?

Let me check the bear-a-scope.

Oh, no, we're going
to hit a whale!

A whale?

Quick, chuckie, grab the wheel!

Hard to pork side!

( Dill gurgling,
chuckie grunting )

Stop it, dill!

No, let go!

( Kids grunting )

( Dill giggling )

( Snoring )

Mr. Pickles, your
kids have picked out

The best one
in the showroom

And we can always
trust our kids, right?

( Giggling )

Ow.

We did it, guys.

We missed the whale!

Up, bear-a-scope!

Next time, can we make sure

That dill doesn't help?

( Cooing )

What is it, lookout dill?

Da-da! Da-da!

( Gasps )

It's my daddy!

He's coming this way!

Chuckie:
and the shark is after him.

Well, we're going
to have to teach

That shark to be nice.

Prepare to fire potatoes.

We don't have no potatoes.

Oh. Well,
let's just fire

Whatever we gots!

These are the finest
door guards on any...

Ow!

Actually, if you don't want...

Ow! Ow! Ow!

Excuse me!

Kids, what are you doing?

Cute little fellas,
huh?

Red-haired one looks
just like you.

Now, if you look
at these fenders...

We threw everything
at him and he's still there.

That shark's teeth
are bigger than my head.

( Shivering )

I wish your daddy
was in here with us.

That's it, chuckie!

We gots to open up
the scrubmarine

And let him in!

Open up
the scrubmarine?

But what if the shark
comes in with him?

That's a chance we gots to take.

Dill, prepare
to turn all the knobs

And push all the buttons.

( Gurgling )

I don't think this
is a very good idea.

Help me, chuckie.

( Giggling )

( Grunting )

( Whispering ):
come here.

I shouldn't be
telling you this

But this car isn't used.

There was a mix-up
at the factory;

They sent it to us brand-new.

( Crashing )

Take cover, sons!

Huh?

( Dill cooing )

( Yelping )

What have you babies
been doing in here?

( Screaming )

( Gasps )

We'll have to swim
for it, you guys.

You ever hear
the old saying

"You break it,
you buy it"?

I'm sorry, I can't imagine

How they could have...

Kids!

Hey!

( Muffled talking )

Shark! Shark!

This way, chuckie!

( Gasping )

You're not allowed
back there.

( Sighing in relief )

( Screaming )

I guess this is...

Good-bye, chuckie.

( Gasping )

( Gasping )

Tommy:
scrubmarine!

( Talking excitedly )

So you do keep the
good ones in back.

That's the one
I drive.

You can't
have that one.

Maybe you'd
like to

Make a deal
with the cops

About this pile of junk

You tried to sell my boy.

( Chuckling )

( Gulps )

( Kids giggling )

That's right, deed.

Half price,
just like the ad.

He even threw in
a free car phone.

Wow, tommy.

This is the
prettiest scrubmarine

I ever seen.

And admirable daddy

Really knows
how to drive it, huh?

Yup, worst mate,
chuckster.

Our adventure is over.

We're heading home.

( Chomping and slurping )

Yeah, nothing says potluck

Like grandma deville's
creole surprise.

Da-da!

The finster family
tomato-celery aspic.

The trick is
deseeding the tomatoes.

Mixed nuts.

We've been on vacation.

Did you check out that museum
of the strange and unusual?

Oh, we sure did.

It was great.

Yes, we owe you for that.

There was the biggest grownup
in the world

And the smallest grownup

In the world

And there was a little house
made all out of chewing gum.

They even had a two-headed cow.

All:
oh...!

Darn. Dropped that last
pig-in-a-blanket.

Whoa. That's a small pig.

Maybe we should give it
to that weird place

Angelica was
talking about.

Hmm, the world's
smallest hot dog.

( Grunts )

Sorry, cynthia, but you need
to look really weird.

Sorry, tommy.

Mmm, that's okay, chuckeroo.

Oops.

Did I mess up
your picture again?

Um, no, I was going to draw it
that way anyways.

I never bumped you
before, tommy.

I always sit here,
and you always sit there.

Do you think
my arm growed?

Well...

Oh, chuckie, I know.

It's 'cause you used to put
your crayon in the hand

Next to spike's
doghouse, remember?

Oh, yeah.

Guess I forgot.

This hand colors better.

Chuckie's very
artistic, chaz.

Say, I never noticed before,
but is he left-handed?

He's been switching
back and forth.

I'm sure it's perfectly normal.

Normal?!

You know what being left-handed
means, don't you?

Uh, using your left hand?

Exactly, which means
chuckie will be different

As in he won't fit in

As in he won't make
the right friends

As in he'll never get
into an ivy league college.

Now, charlotte,
that's not true.

Left-handers
can do everything
right-handers do.

Wasn't uncle hugh
a lefty?

Yeah. He never had a problem--

Except remember how he always
put his pants on backwards?

Stu, please.

Chuckie will be
just fine.

Well, maybe I

Should encourage chuckie
to use his right hand.

Now, chaz, I'm sure
that's not necessary.

Maybe lipschitz has...

Of course!

Why didn't I think
of lipschitz before?

He has that new
while-you-wait toddler
consultation kiosk

Down at the mall.

I can still get there
before they close.

Hmm.

Why did your daddy go away
so fast, chuckie?

Uh... I think it was 'cause I
was coloring with my wrong hand

Instead of my right hand.

You guys, I didn't even know

There was a right
and wrong hand.

They look the same to me.

No, no.

There's something wrong
with this one.

Step right up

And see angelica's
"weird stuff" show.

Come see the seventh blunder of
the world, the two-headed doll.

Hey, angelica

You got the two-headed doll?

That's right, timmy.

Price of submission
is one cookie.

( Gasps )

Oh, that's just two dolls
stuck together.

It is not.

For your information

Cynthia and cynthia
were born this way.

That's not worth
a cookie!

Hey, you don't get that back!

I think it's very special
that chuckie's left-handed.

Only ten percent
of the population is, you know.

Still, he'll need special
scissors, desks, notebooks

And he'll never be able
to drive a stick shift.

Well, I can't
even do that.

Aunt didi, can I play
with cousin dill?

No, honey.

He's got a little cold today.

Hmm!

Hi, angelica.

What's the matter with finster?

Chuckie's sad
'cause he does everything

With his wrong hand.

Oh! That's not his wrong hand

It's his left hand.

Don't you babies
know anything?

My left hand?

So it's not wrong?

Well, I didn't say that exactly.

In fact, only ten persons
in the whole poopulation

Are left-handed.

Only ten?

Then I'm really special.

You're not special, chuckie,
you're... Different.

You'll have to use
different stuff

Like spoons
and clothes

And food.

Oh, and you can never
drive a car.

Oh... Why'd this
have to happen to me?

It's not all bad,
chuckie.

Now you can be in angelica's
"weird stuff" show.

You'll be
my main distraction:

Chuckie
the left-handed boy.

Um, uh...
Thanks anyway, angelica

But I just, I don't think
I want to be in your show.

I just want to be
chuckie the regular boy.

Okay, but don't
come crying to me

When you can't
get a real job.

( Sneezes )

I don't want
to be different, tommy.

I want to be
like everybody else.

Well, you used to use
your right hand.

I bet you could do it again.

You think so?

Sure. Come on.

Yah!

Dah!

( Squeaking )

Come see dill

The ickiest baby
in the knowed world.

Only one cookie.

Ookie, ookie.

Not for you, goo boy.

That's just a baby!

Hey, my nose runs too.

Hey, get back here!

You owe me a cookie!

Bye-bye.

( Grunting )

( Coughing )

Oh, I can't do it.

I can't make toys go
or hammers squeak

Or throw a ball.

I'm never going to be like
regular babies ever again.

I'm going to just
always be different.

( Sighs )

I guess I'll have to be
in angelica's show after all.

I'm going to go now.

Angelica, I'm ready to be
in your main distraction.

Oh, chuckie. Well...

I've got some really, really
good distractions already.

That's the most dried-up
dead fly that ever lived

And that's a real,
true dinosaur bone

And that's uncle stu's
gross potato salad.

Why's that here?

It's got yucky
green things in it.

So I guess
you don't need me.

See you.

I just 'membered--
all potato salad

Gots yucky green
things in it

But there's only one
left-handed boy.

Let me get you a crayon

So peoples can see
how weird you are.

( Sighs )

Hi, chuckeroo.

Um, uh, are you having fun?

Uh, well, kind of

Except I have to sit
next to an old, dead fly.

No talking to my
main distraction.

You can see him for a cookie.

Angelica, why can't I talk
to my friends?

Sorry, chuckie.

You can only be friends
with weird peoples now.

I gots to be friends with a fly
and an old dog bone?

I want to be friends
with tommy and phil and lil.

Ah, what's so great
about them anyways?

Look at them.

Phil eats bugs, lil's
always got a dirty face

And tommy's bald and lumpy.

There's something wrong
with all of them.

No, there isn't.

They're just different.

Yeah, that's for sure.

Hey, so if we're all different,
then I'm not weird.

I'm the same as you guys.

Chuckie's right, angelica.

We're all different,
even you.

Me? What do you mean?

I'm not different.

How am I different?

Well, um... You're, um...
Uh, kind of bossy.

What? I'm not bossy!

Hey, get away
from that fly!

You babies move over there!

( Sneezes )

And you, stop sneezing!

Hey, I am kind of bossy,
aren't i?

Cool.

So the people
at the lipschitz kiosk said

To give chuckie plenty
of reassurance

And he'll be fine.

Of course he will.

It's didi
who can't drive a stick shift.

Well, actually, I can't either.

Oh, and while I was at the mall,
I saw this left-handed store.

It had all these neat things
for lefties.

Here's his left-handed whisk

And a shoehorn
and a steam iron

And this really
nice pencil.

Step right up.

Come see weird peoples
from around the road.

We got tommy
the amazing bald baby

Phil the bug-eatin' boy

And lil, the dirtiest girl
in these ignited states

And me

The bossiest girl
who ever was born.

( Kids clamoring )

No pushing.

One at a time.

Give me that cookie.