02x12 - Night Drivers/Return to Wartwood

[bunniefuu]

[frogs croaking]

[frogs croaking]

[owl hooting]

All right, Polly,
check this out!

According to this map, if we
drive straight through the night,

we'll be home by morning!

[sighs]
Say "home" again.

Just think.
Home for breakfast.

Mmm! Pillbug pancakes.

Hanging out with Ivy.
'Sup.

Not that it's a big deal.
[chuckles]

[loud crash]
Huh?

[grunts]

Whoa! Where do you
guys think you're going?

We've got a schedule to keep.

Guys, we've been driving nonstop
for like hours.

Just a little shut-eye

and we'll be back
on the road by morning.

But we're so close!

Yeah! Can't you just power
through one more night?

Please, please, please?
I wanna sleep in a real bed.

I know how you guys feel, but
you're not the ones who have to drive.

Hey, I've got an idea. Why don't you
two sleep, and we can get us home!

Yeah! Remember how
we owned Quarreler's Pass?

[chuckles] Oh, you sweet,
sweet, ignorant kids.

Amphibia changes at night.

And not for the better,
let me tell you.

The nocturnal leech flies
are bad enough,

but I've even heard folks tell of
evil spirits wandering these parts.

Real spookums and such!

Haven't seen any myself, of
course, but you know, could happen.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Plus, neither
of you read Bessie's driving manual!

But... Forget it. You're
not driving, and that's final.

Now, if you'll excuse us.

[groans, snoring]

[Polly] This is messed up!

Sure, we're young
and made mistakes.

But we've proven
we can handle ourselves!

I know, right?

What in the world could
be so dangerous out there

that we haven't
lived through already?

I've been eaten eight
times, Sprig. Eight times.

[whispers] I sort of
look forward to it now.

Hey, wait a sec. Hop Pop
and Anne are asleep, right?

So asleep they won't even know if we
take the reins and drive us home right now!

And when they wake up,
they'll be so grateful to be home,

they'll completely forget
to be mad at us!

Sprig,
you creepy little genius!

You sure they're not
gonna wake up though, right?

Absolutely!
Those two are out cold.

Huh. Wonder if
they'll have any dreams.

[snoring]

[gasps]

Oh, no. It's like all
my stresses

have physically manifested
as hideous monsters!

Or something.

[roaring]

[screams] Looks like
that's it for me! [Grunts]

Huh?

I'm floatin'. Wait a second.
This must be a dream.

And if it's a dream,
I can control it!

[laughs] For the first time
in my life, I feel free!

Come on, you freaks!
Follow me!

- [chittering]
- [laughing]

[chuckling]

[snoring]

No stinking way!

[chattering, singing]

Welcome to Yogurtropolis, ma'am.
Would you like a free sample from my body?

Uh, sure! You guys got
anything without bugs in it?

Bugs? Our yogurt
doesn't have any bugs!

Did you say "no bugs"?

That is the most beautiful thing
I've ever heard. [Sniffs]

All right, little yogurt man, what flavors
you got? Green tea? Caramel? Hazelnut?

[cackles]

Oh, I'm afraid we only
have one flavor here, ma'am.

What? No! No!

Licorice! [Evil laugh]

No!

No, no.
[laughing]

All right. Let's do this!

Whoo-hoo!
[both laughing]

[both screaming, laughing]

Sprig, have I ever told you
you're such a great night driver?

Why, thank you, Polly,

but it is you who is
the excellent night driver.

[both laughing]

Well, end of the line, Polly.

There's no way we can dodge
a couple of li'I pebbles.

[both laughing]

Well, that's a big rock.

[all screaming]

Well, we obviously nailed that.
But, uh, should we stop?

Pshaw! No way! That
all you got, night driving?

Then, away we go.

m*rder! m*rder!

[screeches]

[chuckles] Could this place get
any creepier? Wait, who's that?

Huh. Hitchhiker. What's,
uh, our policy on those?

Just play it cool.
Maybe he's friendly.

[clears throat]

Hey there, mister.
Like that hat.

Anything we can help you
with today?

[screaming]
Punch it, Sprig!

Whew! [Chuckles]
Well, that was close.

Good thing we're way too
good at night driving. Preach!

The Foggy Fjords?
How foggy could it be?

Oh.

[creature screeches]

What do you think
those things even are?

I don't have
the foggiest idea.

Sorry, sorry.

Crazy stuff.

Oh, hey, wait a second.
I don't see the road anymore.

Polly, are we even going
the right way?

Hey, look! There's someone!
Maybe we can ask... them.

Oh, my Frog,
it's the hitchhiker!

It can't be!
Don't make eye contact.

Too late.

A fork in the road!

And he's pointing left!

Ahh!
Then go right! Right!

[screaming]

[screaming]
[creature roars]

[wind] Sprig. Polly.

[Polly]
What the heck is that?

[panting]

Where is the hitchhiker?
Did we lose em'?

Definitely. There's no
way he could follow us.

[both] Whew!

Hey, did you just
get a chill? What?

[screaming]

He's tryin' to steal our wagon!
Oh, no, you don't!

That's it! [Grunts]
Take that, you prevert!

Uh-oh. [Screams]

Aagh! I've been hooked!

Polly! Hang on!

Oh, no, the seat.
Hop Pop's gonna k*ll us!

Focus, Sprig!

[screaming]

[warbles]

Polly, you impaled?

Um, no, not yet.

Huh. Me neither.

[gasps]
The hitchhiker. He's gone.

Whoa!
And not only that, Sprig.

But look where we are...
The valley!

We did it! [Echoing]

[Sprig] Good thing we stopped when
we did. We woulda been goners! [Laughs]

Yeah! And it's all 'cause we're
the greatest night drivers ever...

- [screams]
- What? What is it?

It's the hitchhiker!
He's back!

Wait a minute.
It's... a statue.

Huh. It says here,

"This monument is dedicated
to Zechariah Nettles,

who spent his days guiding
travelers away from danger

on their way back home."

Oh, man! Polly,
what if that hitchhiker

wasn't trying to hurt us,

he was trying to help us?

He did try to make us
take that other path.

And look. There's
the path we were on.

And there's the path he wanted
us to use. Aww, it looks nice.

Between that, stopping us from driving
off this cliff and how he just disappeared,

I don't think
there's any way around it.

You tellin' me that hitchhiker
was the ghost of ol' Zechariah,

returning from the grave
to do us a solid?

Sure seems like it.

[both] Whoa.

What the heck in a handbasket
is goin' on out here?

You better not
have disobeyed me!

Dang it! Of all the irresponsible,
inconsiderate, juvenile...

Wait, HP. Look at them.

[together] A ghost, a
ghost, a ghost with the most!

Without Mr. Nettles,
we'd surely be deadles!

Pfft! [Laughs]

[snoring]

I don't know what happened
last night,

but it looks like they've
already learned their lesson.

[sighs] All right, all right.
I'll let this one slide.

[both snoring]
[squeaks]

Say, Anne, did you have
any weird dreams last night?

I thought you'd never ask! It
was horrible, Hop Pop. Horrible!

Okay, so I was in this town
full of yogurt, right...

I was a god in my dream!

[frogs croaking]

[inhales] Ah, how I miss
the swamp air.

The aroma of grass, a whisper of
manure, and just a pinch of humidity.

Do you feel that humidity, Anne?

A pinch.

[gasps] I see it! I see
it! I can see Wartwood!

[gasps] Whoa.

♪ Wartwood, O mighty Wartwood ♪

♪ I sing to thee
Our noble history ♪

- ♪ A newt told a toad... ♪
- Hey, I know - that irritating voice.

♪ But don't let them
Escape poverty ♪

The Plantars are back! Get out
here, everyone! It's the Plantars!

- Ooh!
- Oh, hi!

Hiya, folks!

- Hoppy!
- Sylvia!

Come here, city boy!

Any luck finding a way
back to your world, Anne?

Not yet. But we're
whittling away at it.

[chuckles] That wood
reference was for me.

Well, if it isn't the Plantars!
Buba-dee buba-dee bup.

Haven't seen you lot
for a long time.

Uh, definitely
didn't see you on your trip.

Whatever you say,
"Walliam."

[clears throat]

Uh, hey, Felicia.
Where's Ivy?

Oh, she said she had
something more important to do.

More important?

Something about an...
Ambush!

Uh... hi.

Hey, you.

[all] Aww!
Isn't it cute?

Ow, ow, ow, ow!

Just simmer down now!
Come on, simmer down.

Market stops for no one.

Y'all can welcome back the
Plantars after business hours.

Oh! How about we all meet
at my restaurant tonight?

Have a town dinner
for the Plantars.

We're in. I can't wait for
some authentic swamp cooking!

And I can't wait for that
Newtopian coral hand fitment.

Thanks for pickin' it up
for me.

Say, if we're all
gonna be together anyway,

why not bring all the gifts
from our wish list!

[excited chattering]

Gifts?
Wish list?

Great idea, Mrs. Croaker.

[loud yawn]

Can we go home, Hop Papa?

I am so "sweeeepy."

Of course,
my sweet baby child.

Okay, here we go!
Come on, kids!

Okay, bye.

[grunting]

Do you want this one?
No, no, all yours.

[tapping]
What the heck is going on?

Aha! Found it.

So, uh, remember when Hop Pop
and I went to pick up the Fwagon?

Well, on our way back,

Mrs. Croaker asked if we could
pick her up a new romance novel

while we were in the city.

[Hop Pop] Before we knew it,

everybody was asking for stuff.

So we made a wish list.

We hid the list in a special
place so we wouldn't forget.

And then we forgot it.

What?

I'm so sorry, you guys.

Please don't get mad.

Oh, no, no, no. It's okay,
Polly. You're just a baby.

But you!

I cannot believe you forgot about
something so important, Hop Pop!

Look, I'm sure we can find a way
to bury this so no one finds out.

Nope. Lying
will only make it worse.

I feel like we've learned
that lesson by now.

Well, one thing's for sure.
We have to lie.

Preach! Wait, what?

Ivy asked for a red sunshell
from the Newtopian coast.

To match my blue moonshell.

Oh!

She can't find out, Anne.
What if she gets mad?

What if she thinks
I don't like her?

The relationship will be over
before it starts!

[grunts] Fine! I'll do it for Sprivy.
No way I'm letting that ship sink.

Great. Now, let's put our heads
together and come up with a plan.

Oh, yeah, and we'd better
hurry, or you might forget.

It was one time, Anne!

Bye, Chuck. Thanks
for watching the house, Chuck.

I grew tulips.

Okay, so we agree
on the concept.

Fake empty gift boxes that get tragically
destroyed by some kind of monster.

But what monster?
Nothing too dangerous.

We don't want anyone
to actually get hurt.

How about this?
The Chicka-lisk.

A beast that eats gold and
treasure, doesn't eat Amphibians,

won't att*ck unless threatened,

and can be called to any area
with a ritual.

Where'd you get that book?
This cover made out of skin?

Maddie gave it to me.
Aw, that's nice.

I gotta say, this
Chicka-lisk is pretty perfect.

Gifts get eaten, no one gets
hurt, and we don't get blamed.

We all okay with using ancient
Eldritch magics? Sure. Why not?

Gotta do what we gotta
do. I'd be mad if we didn't!

Great! Now to collect all the
materials we need for the ritual.

First, we need
the horn of a sky goat,

whose arcane note
pierces the air.

[goat bleats]

[Sprig] Then we need cursed
obsidian to amplify the dark energy.

[Anne] Finally, we need candles
for that evil ritual vibe.

Wait, that's not in the book.

Trust me, it's a thing.
Oooh! They have "campfire!"

[screaming]

Play the forbidden note.

[inhales deeply]

[horn blares]

Corrupt its sacred message.

All righty then!
Now, who wants Stumpy's?

[all] Whoo!

[upbeat music playing]
Wow.

I like tulips.
You don't say?

Can we open the gifts soon?
I'm itching for that hand.

Not literally.
No feelin' in it.

[chuckles] Presents seem
like an "end of the night" thing.

Why rush it?

And I barely got out of
the ant queen's stomach alive!

I'm still coughing up acid.
[laughs] Blegh!

I'm so jealous! At least
when I look at my sunshell

it'll be like a piece of me
was there with you.

But, uh, end of the day,
it's just a shell, right?

It's our shell. I'm really
happy you found me one.

[clears throat]
[creature shrieking]

Oh, thank frog. Finally.

Hmm?

[chorus]
♪ Chicka-lisk, Chicka-lisk ♪

♪ Watch out for Chicka-lisk ♪

♪ Chicka-lisk, Chicka-lisk ♪
[shrieking]

♪ Watch out for Chicka-lisk ♪

What is that thing?

Chicka-lisk,
the Storm Bearer.

It's an honor to see him.
You know, before he kills us.

[all] Oh, no! Who could
have predicted this?

Don't overdo it.

[squawking]

[shrieking]

What the heck is it saying?
No idea.

Its language is older
than written history.

Oh, no!
It is eating the presents.

We should probably leave
it alone till it's finished.

No way!

You guys did
something nice for us.

Are we gonna let some chicken get
away with this? Would the Plantars?

[all] No!

Well, then, come on!
Let's save those presents!

For the Plantars!

[all] For the Plantars!

Wait, no, Ivy!
Uh-oh.

I can't believe it's finally
my turn to say this, but...

told you so! Boom!

Eat this, you chump!

[shrieks]
[grunts]

I'm Loggle.

[screams]

Sprig!
Let's spatchcock this chicken!

Aye, aye!

Wait, guys,
we gotta work together!

Who knows what
this thing can do!

[screaming]

Holy moly!
Cool!

Maddie! Can you cure them?

Uh, yeah, sure. I should have enough
antidote for everyone... probably.

Good enough.

For Wartwood!

[all] For Wartwood!

You have beautiful eyes.

Split up! We gotta surround it!
Okay!

Oh, my go...
Oh, wait.

Aim for the eyes, children!

[screaming]

Yee-hah!

Nice! Using Toadie's
stone body as a shield.

Wait, he's stone?

Upsy-daisy, Archie.

[grunting]

[shrieking]

This thing's unbeatable!

Nothing's unbeatable!
Everyone, Chicka-lisk formation!

We have a formation for this?

We have a formation
for everything!

[all grunting]

Come on, Anne!

[crowing]
♪ Chicka-lisk ♪

[cheering]
We did it!

Finger lickin' gone!

But it destroyed all the gifts you
worked so hard to bring back for us!

If only we had fought harder.
I guess we let you guys down.

[crowd murmuring]
It's a shame.

Me and Hop Pop forgot the wish
list and didn't get you guys anything!

[all] What?

Can you believe it?
The nerve of it all.

Why am I not surprised?
Typical Plantars.

Giant monsters, property damage,
putting the entire town in danger.

[chuckles]
I gotta admit, I missed it!

Hear! Hear!
Me too.

[all] Huh?

Things have been
really boring

without you four
causing mayhem

and learning
emotional lessons.

Wait, so you don't care
that we lied

and summoned an elder god
to cover it up?

- Not especially.
- We're just glad you're back.

Ivy, I'm sorry I didn't
get you a red sunshell.

- Ow!
- You big dummy! It's just a shell.

You can make it up to me
by finally taking me on a date.

[squealing]

Okay, we're done here.