02x09 - No Bones About It/Beach Blanket Babies

[bunniefuu]

[ Gasps]

[ Panting]

Now, come on, spike.

There's no two ways
about it.

You're not coming

To the natural history
museum

And that's final.

Didi:
pop, are you sure

You can manage with the kids?

The museum
is an awfully big place.

Don't worry.

I've been wrangling young'uns
since before you were born.

You know what a handful
stu is now?

Well, imagine him with
a face full of oatmeal

And a load in his pants.

Yes.

Well, good luck, pop.

I hope they don't give you
any trouble.

[ Car horns honking]

You're listening to k-o-l-d--
k-old!

Music for the old
and the old at heart.

Darn speakers
must be giving out.

Can't hear a thing.

Hey, move it along,
pal!

Everyone's in such a hurry
these days.

What's so dang important
that it can't wait?

[ Siren wailing]

All right,
keep your pants on.

Gee, tommy

Everybody knows
your grandpa.

They're all waving.

And honking.

This is fun.

Man:
move it, grandpa.

They even know his name.

Hey, what's wrong,
tommy?

Why couldn't spike
come with us?

He always has
to stay home.

He sure looked
pretty sad.

Whenever me and lil stay behind

Our mom always brings us
a present.

Yeah, like a toy.

Or a cookie.

Or a pony.

Or a boat.

Or a rocket.

Or...

Could we bring home

A present for spike?

Yeah, maybe we could
find something at the museum.

They got to have stuff for dogs.

They just got to.

Now this is what I call
a museum.

None of those pictures
of water lilies

Or ladies
that look like guitars.

No, siree!
Would you look at that

Kids?

Old tyrannosaurus rex--

The meanest feller
this side of the jurassic.

Bones!

We'd better get a move on.

We got a lot
to see today.

Hey, scout, I don't remember
you being

This heavy.

Maybe we'll take
just a little rest.

Yep

I think a little rest
is just what you kids needed.

Looky there, scouts.

Beautiful gals at : .

You just let me do the talking.

That christopher columbus
certainly was fascinating.

Imagine discovering
america like that.

They say he was also
the inventor of spaghetti.

Pardon me, but I couldn't help
overhearing your conversation.

It was marco polo

Who first brought pasta
from the western hemisphere.

You don't say.

Oh, yes.

The indians
didn't call it spaghetti.

They knew it as maize.

Oh!

Fascinating.

The thing people
don't know is that columbus

Wasn't looking
for america.

He was going
to australia

And got lost.

Hey, did you see
that big pile of bones?

Lil and phil:
yeah!

Let's get one for spike.

Dogs love bones.

I don't know, tommy.

Those bones were pretty big
and real far away.

Come on, chuckie.

Let's get the bones.

Yeah, chuckie.

Let's get a bone
for spike!

I just wanted a nice quiet trip
to the museum.

No running away from grown-ups

No getting lost,
no making trouble.

Just a nice quiet trip,
but no!

You guys always have to think
of something scary.

Are you done,
chuckie?

Yeah, that's about it.

Then let's go get the bone!

...but he forgot to bring
a turkey from italy

So instead he had to barter

With the pilgrims.

[ Gasps]

Uh-oh!

Uh, excuse me, ladies.

Woman:
gracious!

What an intelligent man.

A little strange, though.

Yah!

Grandpa:
"sally payson,
chief of security."

That's right.

Now where's the fire?

Sir, there is no running,
please!

But i...

I might expect that

From teenage punks

But not from someone
with snow on the roof.

Yes, ma'am.

It won't happen again.

[ Whistling]

Look-- the bones!

Wow, there's enough
to keep spike happy

For a whole week.

Which way do we go?

That way.

No, that way.

I got a bad feeling about this.

Hey, scout!

Hold on a second!

Whoa!

Sally:
okay, pops!

End of the line!

Hey, that's museum property
you got your paws on.

I'm taking you down.

Halt!

Buster, you picked a bad time
to cross big sally.

All:
wow!

Where are we, tommy?

I think
we're in a jungle.

What's a jungle?

It's where all the aminals live,
like on tv.

I don't know if I like a jungle.

It was phil's idea
to come this way.

Was not my idea.

Was too!

Was not.

Was...

Ohh!

Don't move.

If we stand here long enough,
he'll go away.

Now where have I seen
that cave kid before?

Hey,
the lion's not moving.

Yeah, I think maybe
he's just a teddy bear.

He's way too scary
for a teddy bear.

I think they're right, chuckie.

Yep, he is just a teddy bear.

Ooh, for a second I thought
he was a real lion.

I'm glad he's just a teddy bear.

[ Gasps]

[ Screams]

What
an impressive diorama.

The movement's so realistic.

You'd think those little
native children were alive.

Huh?

Mister, your trouble-making days
are over.

Drop your weapons.

Vandal! Hooligan!

You'll pay for this!

[ Gasps]

Halloween!
Halloween!

[ Laughter]

Come on! We got to get
that bone!

You guys...

Oh, okay.

Man:
just ahead we have

A rare collection

Of ancient tribal masks
from new guinea.

Legend has it
that each mask

Is possessed
by a spirit

Who springs to life

Every thousand years

To indulge in a
cannibalistic feast.

[ Screaming]

[ Gasping]

[ Screaming]

[ Laughter]

I guess they really liked
our costumes.

Kids:
wow!

Look at all them bones.

Which one shall we take
for spike?

There's so many.

That one!
That one!

That one!
That one!

They're all too big.

Yeah, most of these
are even bigger than spike.

That one!
That one!

He'll love it.

Tommy!

Wow!
Wow!

Sally:
freeze!

Hasta la vista,baby.

You, my friend

Are out of here.

I'll take that.

It's people like you

That make me thankful
for people like me.

But that bone...

Get out!

You need to put...

Get out!

Out... Now!

I've saved the museum.

Looks like my work here is done.

[ Rumbling]

Uh-oh!

[ Gasps]

No!

Grandpa:
c'mon, kids.

Let's skedaddle.

You know, deed,
I'm impressed--

An old fella
handling four toddlers.

Yes, but I think they got
the better of him.

[ Snoring]

What amazes me
is taking four kids

To a place like that

Without having to buy
a single souvenir.

Oh, my, my, my!

[ Squeals]

Good!

That's them, tommy.

The sea monies.

They look just like
a bunch of specks to me.

Well, you'd look
like a speck too

If you were that small.

Isn't it wonderful, stu?

Sea monkeys were
my first pet too.

I don't know
if freeze-dried brine shrimp

Fall into the pets category.

They're the perfect pet.

You don't have to walk them,
you barely have to feed them

And they don't leave nasty
surprises in your slippers.

Less chatting,
more packing.

You want to b*at the crowds
to the beach?

Hey, deed, we arethe crowd.

Hmm?

[ Grunting]

You know, tommy

The sea monies look
a lot happier on the box.

They look a lot bigger too.

Maybe they want to go back
to their castle

At the bottom of the ocean.

If I had a castle
in the ocean

That's where
I'd want to be.

I wish we could get
them back there.

Well, maybe we can.

But how, tommy?

We don't know
where the ocean is.

Sure we do, chuckie.

I heard my mom and dad talking,
and guess what?

The ocean is
right next to the beach.

Really?

That means when we go
to the beach today

We can take
the sea monies with us.

Yep.

[ Grunting]

Hey!

Hold on there, partner.

Where you think

You're going with that thing?

You got to leave
them little fellas here.

Don't want them
to get sunburned.

Now what are
we going to do, tommy?

The grown-ups won't let us take
the sea monies to the beach.

This is so sad.

Don't worry, chuckie.

I got a idea.

I get it, tommy.

I get it.

Careful.
Don't spill them.

[ Gasps]

Didi:
we still have
to pick up my parents.

[ Grunting]

♪ I got an old mule,
her name is sal ♪

Grandpa:
♪ fifteen miles
on the erie canal ♪

♪ She's a good old worker
and a good old pal ♪

♪ Fifteen miles
on the erie canal ♪

♪ We pulled some barges
in our day... ♪

You guys okay
in there?

We're going to be
to the beach any minute.

Do you babies know
who lives at the beach?

The sandman.

The man who comes
when you sleep?

No!

The othersandman.

He's real mean,
and he hides in the sand

And he eats babies for lunch.

Both:
babies?

Little babies.

Like you!

[ Evil laughter]

Stu:
great. Not too crowded.

Great. We look silly,
we're sticky

And we smell like
a coconut cream pie.

Look at me!

Well, at least
we don't look like that.

Rtommy, look!

Alls we got to do

Is push this thing
down to the water.

Come on.

[ Grunting]

Oh, great.

Now what?

Excuse me, scout.

Got to wet my whistle.

We got to wait till
they take more cans out.

Then it will be easier to push.

[ Sighs]

Ooh. This ice is
a little bit dirty.

Say, everyone, let's try
to keep the lid closed!

Don't worry.

We'll save the rest of them.

We got to hurry
before it's too late.

[ Gasps]

[ Screams]

Hey, sports!
Be careful down there.

Don't want to get squashed.

Find the cards, bo?

I'm looking. I'm looking.

Minka, where's
the bicycle deck?

Do I look like
your servant girl?

[ Grunting]

Look at me!
Look at me!

Pretend we're not doing nothing.

Angelica, your bathing suit
looks really nice.

You didn't see

What I can do in it.

I can swim! I can swim!

Did you see?

I can swim!

That was great, angelica.

We got to be going.

Hey, what are you
babies doing anyway?

Nothing.
Nothing.

Oh, yeah?

What's in here?

You babies

Are really weird.

[ Both sigh]

[ Snoring]

R[ grunting]

It won't move!
It won't move!

What are we going
to do now, tommy?

Calm down, chuckie.

I got a idea.

Okay. When I say "three,"
run at the cooler, okay?

Three! Hut!

Hey, boys, come on.

I'll show you how to build

An old-fashioned sand castle.

Hey, how did this get here?

[ Grunting]

In order to build
the perfect castle

You need to get the sand

To be just
the right consistency:

Nice and thick and packy.

What you doing,
little bro?

Showing the kids
the finer points

Of sand castle construction.

Shouldn't this outer wall be
further from the courtyard?

If you do that, there won't be
any room for the moat.

You are out of touch.

What's current
in sand castles

Is more of
a deconstructive treatment.

Like the one you gave
mine when I was eight?

You stomped on mine first.

You poured sand
down my shorts.

You dropped a crab on me.

Every time I sat down...

I never wore those...

Wait. Where is
the two of hearts?

I didn't take no two of hearts.

You got to play the card,
you paskudnyak.

Where'd you hear those rules--
budapest?

[ Grunting]

Angelica:
help! Help!

He's got me!

The sandman's got me!

[ Gasping]

[ Laughing]

You think the sandman
really almost got her?

She might have made it up

Like the time she said
your blanket was alive.

Don't remind me of that.

Sorry. Come on.

We got to get the sea monies
over that hill.

[ Grunting]

Go around and pull.

[ Gasps]

[ Screams]

My dad's been decaffeinated!

Chuckie, what happened?

[ Rumbling]

[ Screaming]

The sandman!

Hmm. What's this doing here?

[ Panting]

You think we lost him?

Yeah. For now.

Boy, setting the sea monies free
sure isn't easy.

You know, chuckie,
I was thinking.

Maybe the sea monies
aren't worth all this trouble.

I mean,
they're just little specks.

Just little specks?

When a grown-up
walks past you

And doesn't even know
you're there

Don't you feel like
just little specks?

When you're

Not tall enough
to open a door

Or turn on a light
or get at the cookies

Don't you feel

Like just little specks?

I don't know
about you, tommy

But for all
the little specks out there

I'm pushing that thing
down to the water.

Let's go.

Friendly game, schmendly game!

When you pick up a card,
you got to play this card!

You're off your nut!

I've played this game years.

Just because you pick up

A card don't mean
you got to put it down.

Now, pop, dad,
it's just a game.

There's no reason
to get upset.

Upset? Who's upset?

Just because

This old schmenrick
called me a nut?

Schmenrick,eh?

I got your schmenrick!

I got a idea.

So, you want
to play dirty, eh?

Watch your
blood pressure.

I got a card game
for you, mr. Years.

Yeah? What's that?

Pickup!

My cards!

What are you doing?

[ Grunting]

You sure this
will work, tommy?

It's got to work.

Yee-ha!

[ Barks]

[ Screaming]

[ Panting]

Oh, no!

We did it, chuckie!

We did it!

What's the matter?

I thought you wanted
to free them.

I know, but I'm not
sure they were ready.

After all
we've been through together

I'll miss them.

There's still time
to say bye.

Good-bye, spiffy!

Good-bye, spot!

Good-bye, blinky!

Good-bye, oreo!

Good-bye, lefty!

Good-bye, mike!

You did a nice thing,
chuckie.

You think so?

Sure. Sea monies
belong in the sea.

That's where
their real castle is

Along with all the sea bananas
they'll ever want.

You did the right
thing, chuckie.

And they'll never
forget you for it.