Get it, get it!
Get him out!
Don't you ever
let me catch you here again.
Did he get you
with his poison stingers?
No! I got a splinter from the door.
Let me see.
Wow, that's a tiny splinter.
But it hurts!
I'm going to need some...
Fingerprotection!
- Thanks, Choose Goose.
- I am Choose Goose.
Come back for some juice!
- Man, I am so protected right now.
- That is mighty thick.
Go on, hit me!
Hey, guys! Check this out!
Dude, hit me.
On my armor!
That is but a thimble!
This...
is real armor.
Sir Slicer!
Who is the one
that bears the thimble?
This dude.
You foolish boy.
Without full body armor, you're weak!
You do not look...
Choose Goose, I need more armor.
I've got something for you,
a metal shoe!
Don't you know you
might stub your toe?
No Choose Goose, I need...
Look here your
To this one to protect your butt.
To his butt! Protect his butt!
No Choose Goose, I want...
Don't be meek. What if you fall down
and scrape your cheek?
Look at his butt! Look at his butt!
Choose Goose, I want the most...
armor you have!
Have a look!
- I'll take that one.
- Wonderful.
I'll need a trade of equal value.
I'll take the head of your dog friend.
Say what?
No way. Choose Goose,
this stuff is overpriced.
No money for me?
How about a poem for free?
A poem?
If you can decipher the poem
and complete the trials,
you will receive
the magical Armor of Zeldron.
It is foretold to be totally...
Skadow!
Your quest begins
in the marsh over the hill.
- Ah, yes! I'm gonna get that armor!
- Yeah, man, you're gonna do it.
Good luck exposing your soft,
vanilla-strawberry skin
to the elements, dork!
Later, loosers.
He's just jealous that
I'm gonna have cooler armor than him.
Yeah, what a bumbleberry?
What's the poem say?
"The sun nibbles on the clouds,
and gum drop tears rain down"
I don't get it.
It means that we have to cross
that swamp.
How'd you understand that?
You don't just read the poetry
to understand it.
You got to feel it.
Trust me, dude,
I'm smarter than everyone.
- Now get in there!
- You're not coming?
No way, man.
This armor thing is your deal.
I'll wait for you on the other side.
This place will be a piece of...
Oh, my gosh, I'm so sorry!
My most private parts
peeped by a boy!
- Pervert!
- I'm not a pervert!
You should be ashamed of yourself!
I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
- My privates!
- I'm sorry!
- My privates!
- I'm sorry!
- You okay, man?
- No!
What's the matter, crimson cheeks?
Feeling a little embarrassed
in the swamp of embarrassment?
You're so red,
you look like a tomato.
We'll see who's embarrassed
when I get that armor!
What does the poem say?
"The meadow weeps as morning sings
of milk and honey and things to come"
What does that even?
It means we have to silence,
the echoing in the woods.
Oh, man!
I don't know how to silence that!
All right,
I'll handle this one, dude.
No. This is my burden.
Then just make her
think it's her idea.
That's how you make the ladies
do what you want.
Hey, monster lady!
Stop crying!
Stop crying
because that's what you want to do!
She thinks you're her red-faced baby
or something.
- I think she wants you to nurse, dude.
- No!
Minstrel.
He's Finn the blushing baby
His cheeks are bright and red
Be sure to make fun of him
before you go to bed
Grandfathers will sing that
to their grandchildren
for generations to come.
Grandfathers will not sing that
to their children!
Armor...
Just wait till
I have the Armor of Zeldron!
Yeah, just you wait, weirdo.
Jake, you okay?
Awesome!
Finally.
Hello.
Begone, ghost!
I'm here for the armor!
First, you have to b*at my high score
in a game of drop ball.
Drop ball?
Drop ball is an extremely addictive,
high-intensity game designed
for people everywhere.
Here, let me show you.
One point.
Two points.
- Three points.
- This game looks awful.
Oh, no.
I absolutely disagree.
Dude, let's just k*ll him
and get the armor.
How? He's already dead.
Here. It's your turn.
Now, I don't want you
to be intimidated,
but my high score is six.
Just... just toss it on the ground.
No, no, no!
You're doing it all wrong!
Let me show you how the pros do it.
See? It's all in the technique.
Now, I'm gonna put
a little finesse into it,
just to shake things up.
Finn, it's so beautiful!
Yeah, guess all
the embarrassment was worth it.
Greetings, young traveler.
We know what you seek,
and you shall receive it.
Behold...
the Armor of Zeldron.
It will protect you from evil,
even ghosts.
No! Dude, this is lady armor!
No, not...
No more embarrassment!
I don't need armor!
You did not watch
my drop-ball technique!
I give you firsthand tips
that no one else knows,
and this is how you thank me!
I absolutely disagree with that!
- Now what?
- Put on the armor.
It'll protect you from evil,
even ghosts!
Never!
Mama?
Yeah!
Listen
when your mother is speaking to you.
Yes, mama.
You should be ashamed of yourself,
a boy your age
sitting in this cave alone
for thousands of years.
You need to go outside
and get some sunlight.
But...
No back talk!
Outside now!
Oh, thank you, Finn and Jake!
You've freed me
from the addiction of drop ball.
No problem, dude.
I couldn't have done it without...
the power of embarrassment!
And I learned
I don't need armor to be...
Look at you losers.
Finn, you don't have any armor,
and your friend is dressed like a lady.
So not...
Well, at least I don't spend my day
following a kid around!
Get a life, dude!
Good one, Finn.
Well, I...
just been in the same areas today.
- Yeah, right.
- Whatever.
Be quiet!
I... I am more...
than all of you.
Come over here
and say that to my fist!
Okay, I will.
This armor's too heavy!
No problem. I'll just prop myself up
on this stick.
Splinter!
Hey, Sir Slicer,
maybe you can use this!
Here you go!
Free of charge.
Come on, dude, let's get out of here.
Okay, buddy.
Dude, this armor is totally...