07x13 - Discover America

[bunniefuu]

[ Snoring]

[ Gasps]

[ Kids laughing]

[Captioning sponsored by the
u.s. Department of education

And nickelodeon]

[ Whooshing...]

You see, dilly,
this cake represents
the american flag.

The blueberries
are for each state.

[ Cooing and babbling]

Well, yes, I did
run out before

But you know,
alaska and hawaii

Weren't granted
statehood until .

[ Door opens]

Got everything
for the barbecue.

Oh, wait
till you see

This
new charcoal
I bought.

You don't even
need a match
to light it.

You just need cubic volumes
of compressed hot air.

Isn't that nice?

I'll preheat the broiler
just in case.

Don't bother, deed.

This is one party
that's going to come off
without a hitch.

[ Cooing]

That's right, dilly.

Grandpa's
coming home today.

You call me crazy,
but I really think

Dil understands
everything we say.

Did you hear that,
guys?

My grandpa's
coming home today!

Hey, tommy, where has he been,
anyhow?

He and my aunt miriam went
on a trip to find america.

Well, america must have been
really losted

'Cause your grandpa's
been gone an awful long time.

Oh, poor america.

I hope
she's not ascared.

America's a boy, lillian.

Is not, phillip!

She's a girl!

Do I have to teach
you babies everything?

America's a whole empire
country, not a person.

Um, what's a country,
angelica?

Oh, brother.

It's where we live.

Then how comes
your grandpa and aunt miriam

Didn't just go
on a nice long trip

In tommy's backyard?

That wouldn't be
any fun.

And 'sides, how could
they get any zoomenirs?

Ooh...!

Zoomenirs?

What's that?

They're neat presents

That come from strange,
faraway places, not from stores.

Like when my mommy and daddy

Brought me this
from pittsburger.

Tommy:ooh...!

Lil:
prettyful!

Do you think grandpa
and aunt miriam

Are going to
bring us back
zoomenirs, angelica?

Well, at least me
and you and dil.

And since finster's
always hanging
around here

He'll probably
get one, too.

And my mommy says
your mommy

Uses this place like
a daycare center

So you two will
probably get candy
or something.

Grandpa:
where are my sprouts?

They're here!

[ Kids laughing]

Lou, don't hog 'em!

Let me have one!

Oh, ooh...

Stu:
pop, aunt miriam...

You weren't due back
for an hour.

We skipped
the last attraction.

I didn't want to be
away from my grandkids

Another second.

[ Both laughing]

That's nice, grandpa.

Did you bring me a present?

Now, princess,
it's not polite to ask.

Bro, you'd better start
lighting that barbecue...

If we want to eat
before dark.

For your
information, drew

I have
a new charcoal

That lights
in a millisecond.

Oh, now, you two boys

Don't fuss over us!
[ Laughs]

But we have a little
welcome-home party
all planned.

No need, darling,
we had leftover sandwiches
on the way home.

Besides, I want to show you
the pictures from our trip.

Stu, set up
the slide projector!

Drew, get the screen!

Oh, I wouldn't mind
a nice cup of tea, though.

Stu:
oops... Hold on.

Miriam:
oh, lou, look at you.

Now, why weren't you smiling?

Because you tricked me into
going on a gol-durn bus tour!

I thought we were going to
hit the open road.

That's the only way
to see the sights.

Oh, we saw plenty of sights,
thanks to our driver.

And we had
that darling tour guide!

Horse feathers!

He kept getting lost
and she talked too much.

You exaggerate
everything!

I suppose
you're going to say

The grand canyon
isn't all that big!

Didi: gee.stu: whoa.

Grandpa:
and I suppose you'll say
that burro

Didn't kick me!

His hoof slipped.

Now, that old-time diner

Had the best lemon pie
you ever tasted.

No, lou, you're thinking
of the place we stopped at
in yellowstone!

There you are, eating pie
in yellowstone park!

I'm eating one of your
conflab tuna sandwiches, mim.

Ha!

Even the buffalo
wouldn't eat 'em.

[ Gasps]

Grandpa:
here we are

At old faithful...
St. Louis... Mississippi...

Everglades...

Miriam:
not so fast, lou!

Ooh, no one
can see anything.

Now give me that!

Hey, what are you...

Now give me...

Hey...

Just hand it...

[ Continue struggling]

Mim, i...

Just...
Give me, give me...

Hey, give me...

See, you zoomed
right through
new york city!

Are you happy now?

Happier than I've been
in weeks.

What about the zoomenirs?!

Hee...

There you go, scout.

Just like
our bus driver wore.

Miriam:
angelica...

I got you this
genuine native american

Beaded purse.

Thank you, aunt miriam!

Here you go, you two

Adorable creatures!

[ Both laughing]

Here you go, chuckie.

This place mat is a map
of america, you know.

I can't find
the statue of liberty
teething ring we got for dil.

It's not there?

You must have lost it!

Me?!

Please, it's all right.

Dil won't know
the difference.

Although lipschitz says
even an infant knows
when it's been overlooked.

Ooh... Ah...

[ Laughing and babbling]

[ All sigh]

Phew.

Having a little trouble
with the barbecue.

Can you stall them?

Need some help
there, bro?

You know, I'd really like
to see those slides again.

I always say
why go to europe

When there's so much to see
in your own backyard?

Well, I'm going
to unpack my suitcase
and look for dil's present.

No grandchild of mine
is going to feel overlooked.

Not if I can help it.

You guys...

Dil didn't get a zoomenir.

Well, uh...

I'm sure he wouldn't
like mine at all.

Or mine.

[ Crying]

Oh, don't be sad, dilly.

I'll share my present with you.

Yuck!

Tommy, you can't
just give dil
any old thing.

A zoomenir has to be something
that was picked special.

Well, I'll pick something
for dil from my toy box.

That won't work.

It's got to be
from a trip

Or it doesn't count.

[ Whimpering]

Well, then, if I has to go
to america myself

And find my brother
a zoomenir, I will!

But tommy, how are you
going to do that?

Didn't you hear
what aunt miriam said

About there being so much
to see in your own backyard?

I bet we can
find some places

And get dil his own
special present, too.

Yay!
Yeah!
All right.

We'll take a bus,
just like grandpa.

Uh, but, but, tommy,
even if you could drive
the reptar wagon--

I mean bus-- across america,
we still don't know the way.

Sure we do, chuckie.

We gots your map.

Uh...

See? We just
follow these lines

And they'll take us

To all the places grandpa
and aunt miriam went.

But, uh, I don't know
which line goes where.

I mean,
there's the green one

And this, this, crookedy one
and this big one...

Coming, chuckie?

I guess I could use
a little trip.

Hey, lil, look at
all my cameras!

That's miss tour guide
to you, mr. Sir.

One, six, four...
Resting, resting.

Can everybody hear me
back there?!

[ Laughing...]

And welcome to reptar tours.

Today, we're going
all around america!

Whoa! What's
that big hole?

It must be
the graham canyon!

Uh, it's my job to tell
the peoples the sights,
mr. Bus driver man!

This is the graham canyon.

It's a big hole in the ground
made by a giants for about
a bazillion...

Many times ago.

That sounds great!

Maybe we can find
something for dil there.

I have a bad feeling about this.

[ Hee-haws]

Are you sure
he's not going to kick me?

All:
aah!

Ooh...!

Well, I suppose

I could give dilly
a rock.

But that doesn't seem
very special.

Come on, come on,
come on!

There's lots more
sights to see!

Everybody
back on the bus!

Sorry I'm late. Couldn't get
my jiffy shred to work.

Had to chop the cabbage
by hand.

Oh, no!

You didn't make coleslaw, too,
did you, betty?

Uh-oh...
Ah, don't worry

You can never have
too much coleslaw

Right, deeders?

Actually, betty, you can.

Ho... Come to think of it

Does anybody actually
like coleslaw?

Have the grill going
in just a jif, hon.

Good thing randy and lucy
had this bellows.

Oh, I invited them
over to eat later.

Hello, mrs. Pickles.

My mommy says
it's not polite

To come to a party
and not bring anything

So I brought this!

How thoughtful!

It's cold slaw!

Oh.

Gee, aunt miriam,
my new bag is kind of empty.

Well, let's see here.

You can have this lipstick.

It's too bold for me!

Oh, and here's a penny.

And some gum.

Hiya, susie!

Hi, angelica!

Why were you so happy
to see me?

'Cause I got a brand new
genuine nakey american purse
and you don't have anything!

Well now,
who have we here?!

I'm susie carmichael.

Well, I bet I can find something
in this bag of mine for you,
too.

That's okay,
auntie miriam.

You don't have to,
honest.

Here you go, dearie.

Thank you, mrs. Miriam.

Aren't you sweet?

Aw... Just a sweet little...

Well, I wonder
what's keeping the food!

Do you have a cr*cker
or something?

I'm about famished.

How do I look, angelica?
Hmph!

No!

No!

Huh-uh... No!

Gee, dil doesn't like
any of the stuff

We gots
at the zoomenir stand.

Dilly... How about this nice
stuffed... Um... Um...

Aminal?

Uh, chuckie?

That's not stuffed.

Aah!

[ Croaks]

[ Crying]

It's okay, dilly.

We'll find you something.

You think
you're so great

Just 'cause you got
those sunglasses

But I bet you can't,
um, stand on here.

Ooh, whoa...

I bet I can, too!

Ah!

Whoa!

Help, angelica!

Jump!

[ Gasps]

Quick, we got to hide!

But, angelica,
it was an accident!

We have to tell
mrs. Pickles what happened.

No one will believe me
when I say I didn't do anything.

Hey, I know.

We got to hit the open road
like grandpa did.

[ Engine rumbling]

Wow, those girls are
in an awful big hurry.

So are we, chuckie

And according to this map,
if I drive all night

We can get to, um...

Somewheres else by morning!

Let's go!

[ Snoring...]

[ Sign buzzing]

Okay, here's the plan.

Tomorrow we drive
all the way to timbuktu.

Angelica, I think

We should just go back
and tell the truth.

I'll never go back!

You can't make me!

Okay, okay, sheesh!

Let's get some sleep.

Hmm...

I wonder if there's a candy
machine in this fleabag motel.

Oh, looks
like the clouds

Are breaking up.

How about a game of croquet?

Yup, might as well.

Doesn't look like we're
getting fed anytime soon.

[ Snoring]

[ Chuckles]

Must be nice to be able
to nap anywhere, huh?

[ Snoring]

[ Yawning]

Okay, peoples, hear me
some of your attention.

And... To your left is,
um, a pile of rockies

And to your... Other left

Is a diner
where you can get good pie!

Chuckie:
pie?!

Mmm... Stop, tommy!

Sorry, guys,
we don't gots time.

[ Munching
and slurping]

Gee, angelica,
thanks for sharing.

That was
the last piece of pie!

[ Cameras clicking]

Hey, stop that, no pictures!

They're just tourists.

Easy for you to say.

You're not the one
in big trouble!

What are you talking about?

I knocked over the cold slaw.

But I told you to
climb on the bench.

'Course, you
didn't have to do
whatever I said.

Oh, angelica...
Don't worry.

Whatever happens,
we're in this together!

Wow, susie,
that's nice of you.

Maybe I've been
wrong about...

Aah! They're coming to get me.

[ Gasps]

[ Gasps]

[ Starts engine]

[ Chuckles]

Angelica,
where are we going?!

Don't worry, carmichael,
I got a plan!

We just got to get
to florida! Hang on!

Now, lou,
are you sure

That's where
the wicket goes?

Darn tootin' I'm sure.

Ah, for the love of....

Can you believe
this party?

There's no food

And we get kicked
out of our own game.

That's not
entirely true, betty.

Didi put out
this bowl of oranges.

Hey, let's go raid the fridge
for some junk.

What are we doing
with these oranges?

Just let me
do the talking.

And this, my friends,
is where orange juice
grows on trees, and over...

It's those
motorcycle girls!

[ Sighs]

Now I guess we'll never know
what was over there!

Hi, we want to join your tour!

Say peas!

No pictures, no pictures!

Uh, I mean, why don't you
let me take your picture?

Hey, my cameras!

Now drive, bus driver,
drive!

Why you guys in such
a hurry, anyhow?

Because
we're on the run.

We did it!
We knocked over
the cold slaw!

[ All gasp]

What's cold slaw?

Never mind.

Just get us
out of here!

[ Bus stops]

We're stuck!

Both:
the neverglades!

[ Whirring]

[ Grunting...]

We're sinking!

Aah, aah...!

Come on, we'll go
out the back door!

Me first, me first!

Get me off this bus!

[ Grunts]

[ Screams]

[ Snarls]

[ Chuckie screaming]

[ Grunts]

Tommy:
yay! We're saved, we're saved!

[ All cheering]

Nice job, carmichael.

You saved us!

Oh, no, angelica!

They're back!

For the last time,
do you give up?

Wait, susie!

No, angelica.

We can't keep running
the rest of our lives.

We got to tell the truth!

No! Uh, I meant,
wait for, for me.

Oh, lou, miriam, betty, chaz

There aren't going to be any
steaks and there's no coleslaw

But I did manage to whip up
a batch of new england
clam chowder.

Now, who wants some?

Whoo, finally!

Oh, now you're talking.

Is it soup?

That sounds delicious!

I'd like to have a taste
right now.

Got my trusty travel
spoon-fork-thing-a-ma-jiggy
here somewhere...

Lou! You accused me

Of losing my dear
little great nephew's souvenir

When you had it all along!

Hold, hold on, mim.

It, it, it was
an oversight.

[ Laughs nervously]

No hard feelings now.

After all the grief
you gave me, I just...

Whoa!

Oh!

Oh, my chowder!

Mine! Mine!

You guys, look!

The statue
of library!

Kids:
wow... Ooh...

Ah...

Isn't she prettyful?

She's a giant!

Oh, no, she's too big
to give to dil!

And I don't have
my camera anymore

So I can't even
take a picture for him.

[ All gasp]

[ Cooing happily]

Look, you guys!

Dil likes his zoomenir!

Other:
all right... Finally!

Lil:
happy!

Louie, traveling together
wasn't all that bad, was it?

No, mim, I guess not.

That's good...
Because I booked us

On a two-month cruise
through the caribbean!

So you better get
some sun before we go.

I don't want you out there
with your pale...

Sorry about
the barbecue, deed.

We've still
got the cake.

Did you say cake,
aunt didi?

Angelica! Don't
we have something
to tell mrs. Pickles?

[ General conversation...]

Well, we've been
to america, guys.

Did you like it?

Yeah, especially
the wild aminals.

And the snacks
we ated on the bus.

I liked telling everybody
about the pretty rocks

And the hole
in the ground

And to look
where I say to look...

I liked coming home.

Me, too, chuckie.

But now that I've been
back home for a while

I'm kind of ready to go
someplace else again.

Really, tommy? Like where?

I don't know, chuckie.

America's a awfully big place.

Maybe I'll just go
wherever the road takes me.

[ Engines rumbling...]

And nickelodeon

Lil:
that's miss tour guide
to you, mr. Sir.