09x15 - Bestest of Show/ Hold the Pickles

[bunniefuu]

[ whirring]

[ snoring]

Whoa!

[ whirring]

[ kids laughing]

[ dog barks]

[ giggles]

[ whirring]

[ squeals]

[ yawns]

[ yawns]

[ laughs]

That is the funniest-looking
doggie I ever seed.

That's 'cause it's not a doggie,
Chuckie.

It's a kitty.

What's that?

[ gasps]

That's scary--
that's what that is.

I love pet day.

[ poop squishes]

Except for that part.

Ew!
Ew!

I hope Fifi and Spike enjoy
their empowerment seminar.

There's the Best Pet trophy
Spiffy's going to win.

Spiffy? I think
you mean Puppy.

STU:
Chas, the contest is judged

on looks, talent
and on personality,

and Puppy's not exactly
a social butterfly.

Well, she's a little
cautious, that's all.

At least she's not
all wild like Spiffy.

Spiffy is not... uh-oh.

Spiffy, no!

[ shouts]

[ gasping and grunting]

Whoa!

My dog's still better
than your dog.

Will you two stop
acting like babies!

You're right, Pop,
we're being childish.

Race you
to the check-in table.

POP:
This looks like a good place
to park our cabooses.

Though, this being
my nap time,

we don't want
to get too comfy

or I'm liable to...

[ snoring]

All right, Daddy said

Spiffy and Puppy are going
to win the bestest pet reward.

Yay, Puppy!

Yay, Spiffy!

ANGELICA:
Put a bib on it,
babies!

Fluffy's going to win.

She's the most beautifulest.

Spiffy and Puppy are
butiful, too.

You just don't get it, do you?

Puppies are babies,

and babies can't win nothing,
never.

See ya.

Oh, too bad babies
can't win anything.

Wait, you guys.

Babies canwin things.

I once winned
a Reptar toy
in my cereal.

And I winned a stickie
for going potty.

See, babies win things
all the time.

Angelica's wrong.

Spiffy and Puppy canbe
the bestest pets.

First thing we gots to do

is make Puppy and Spiffy
extra beautiful.

WOMAN:
See, Tinkerbell?

I told you a little brushing
would make you beautiful.

That's it.

Alls we need to do
is make them poofy
like Stinkerbell.

Ooh, pretty.

Hi, Angelica.

[ gasps]

Hello, Carmichael.

Look, Fluffy--

Susie brought you
a big, fat, juicy snack.

He's not a snack!

This is
my pet gerbil, Herbie,

and he's going to win
Best Pet.

That hairball?

He's just a dumb rat.

Oh, really?

Watch this.

Count to four, Herbie.

Hmph.

Who needs to count, anyway?

They have countalators for that.

We'd better go.

Herbie has to practice
riding his tricycle.

Come on, Fluffy,
we got work to do.

That's Spiffy Pickles.

Make sure you
get it right

for the trophy
engraving.

[ dog barking]

Look at that loser.

The lengths
some people will go

to impress the judges.

That "loser" was
last year's winner.

We did it,
you guys!

Puffy and Spiffy
are beautiful.

[ growling]

Look-- they
really like it.

[ drum roll]

[ croaks]

Oh, no!

We gots to teach them
a trick, too.

[ drum roll]

Maybe if we
clappeded our hands

Puppy and Spiffy would do
a trick, too.

Wow, those are good tricks!

ANGELICA:
"My rat can ride a tricycle!"

Like I really believe that.

[ gasps]

Hi, Angelica.

Herbie, I told you,
no wheelies.

[ laughs]

He's such a showoff.

Bye.

Huh! Big deal.

You probably know
lots of tricks, right, Fluffy?

I know-- roll over.

[ snores and purrs]

Hmm.

Speak.

[ purring]

Hmm.

Sit.

[ purring]

That'll work.

Thank you,
Herbie Carmichael.

And what will
Fluffy Pickles
be performing for us?

She's going to do something
really stupididous.

Okay, Fluffy, sit.

Ta-dah!

[ yowls]

Fluffy, wait!

Ooh!

I mean, go, Fluffy, go!

[ Fluffy hissing]

See? I taught her that, too.

CHAS:
I saw it first!

So?!

Grabbers keepers,
seers weepers.

That's not even a real saying!

[ both grunting and groaning]

[ people laughing in distance]

Will that be cash or credit?

[ snoring and muttering]

Now Spiffy and Puppy are
going to win for sure!

MAN:
Super Gold-Medal...

A- Pet De-Scenter!

If you want your pet to win,
it has to smell good.

Oh, no!

He gots
to smell good, too.

Don't worry, Kimi.

This is going to be easy.

Come on.

Giant pretzels--
get your giant
pretzels here.

[ all gasp]

[ laughs]

Give up now, babies,

unless you're trying to win
the Dumbest Pet award.

Those mutts will never be
bestest like Fluffy.

Ow! Get back here!

Guys, maybe Angelica's right.

Maybe we should just give up.

No, Chuckie,
we gots to do this--

for babies everywhere!

[ sniffing]

That should do it.

[ snoring]

Pop, where
are the dogs?

And where are
the babies?

Uh... um...

Well, right here,
where they've always been.

Never left my sight.

[ both sniff]

Ew!
Ew!

Something smells
rotten...

and it's not
just the dogs.

Youdid this!

Pet sabotage, Stu?

I didn't think
you could sink so low.

Next up, Spiffy Pickles
and Puppy Finster.

[ panting]

No!

Wait!

[ yawns]

We did a good job,
you guys.

Our daddies looked
real excited.

Is this a joke?

JUDGE:
They're hideous!

Aah! And what
is that smell?

Come on, let's help them
do their tricks.

Calm down, boy.

Calm down.

[ barking]

[ microphone squealing]

[ barking]

Whoa!

[ barking]

[ yelping]

Whoa!

Spiffy, no!

Do something
about this creature!

[ man laughing]

[ woman laughing]

Oh, it tickles!

What exquisite markings!

You're quite
the post-modern puppy.

Look at that.

I think they like them.

I'm sorry I accused you
of puppy sabotage.

Me, too.

But if we didn't do it, who did?

Pop. He does
this kind of stuff
with Drew and me

to teach us a lesson.

He's a sly one.

[ snoring]

And you know?

He's right.

No competition is
worth a friendship.

[ microphone squealing]

If you'll all be seated,
we'll announce the winner.

[ gulps]

[ teeth chattering]

The winner
of the Best Pet
category is...

Herbie Carmichael!

[ crowd cheers]

We won, Herbie! We won!

[ screeches]

It couldn't
have happened
to a gooderer girl.

And Herbie seemeded
real nice, too.

But Angelica
was right.

Babies can't win anything.

And this year, we're awarding
two special prizes.

For Most Friendly Pet,

the award goes to...
Spiffy Pickles!

Yes!

[ hoots]

[ crowd cheering]

Oh, that's okay, Stu.

I didn't really care
about winning.

And for Most Unique Pet,

the award goes to...

Puppy Finster!

Yes! I won! I won!

[ crowd cheering]

Um, I mean, uh, wewon.

[ hoots]

[ cheering]

Yay!
Hooray!

Hmm, you got lucky.

Fluffy's still cuter
and prettier and beautifuler

and smarter
than any dumb puppies.

Right, Fluffy?

Fluffy?

Fluffy, don't eat that!

I'm real proud
of Spiffy and Puppy.

Me, too, Chuckie.

They make babies everywhere
look good.

Yeah!

[ dogs bark, children cheer]

MECHANICAL VOICE:
Thank you, thank you.

Thank you, thank you.

Thank you, thank you.

Thank you, thank you.

You're welcome.

LIL:
Anything yummy
in there, Phillip?

[ gasps]

Oh!

Thank you,
thank you.

Hey, Britannica!

Hi, Taffy.

[ clears throat]

Um, I mean, welcome
to Boingo Burger,

where every meal's
a happy surprise.

How can I surprise you?

I'd like six
Wacky Meals, please,

and a Double Wacky
Boingo Burger.

Look!

A inside
playground!

A machine that
makes ice cream!

[ moans]

And a machine
that makes messies!

[ laughs]

I think this might be

the most wonderfulest place
Taffy ever taked us.

[ Dil giggles]

Oh, and make sure they
don't put any pickles

on my Boingo Burger.

[ groans]

You know how I don't
like dill pickles.

[ gasps]

[ gurgling]

Guys, Taffy just said
she doesn't like Dilly!

But, Tommy, how could she
not like Dil?

Well, we didn't
like him so much
at first.

[ grunts]

[ farts]

Poopy!

Oh,
yeah.

That's
right.

You gots to be
wrong, Tommy.

Taffy likes him.

She's always hugging him.

[ sniffs]

[ all gasp]

See?

Would you
scope the minis

while I change Dil?

Sure, no prob.

Why do you think
she doesn't like him?

Probably because
he burps and cries.

[ burp]

Oh, no.

What if Taffy stops liking us?

And stops taking us
to wonderful places?

TAFFY:
Here you go, minis--

Wacky Meals
with cheeseburgers
and Reptar nuggets.

Yum!

I wants a sneezebooger.

Me, too!

I don't think

you're opposed to eat
the papery part, Phillip.

Look!

Somebody lefted
their toys in here.

Ew.

Hmm.

[ grunting]

That's not fun.

[ groans]

I can't even look
at dill pickles.

You were right, Tommy.

Taffy doesn't like Dil!

But she always used to like him.

Yup-- just like
her old shoes.

What old shoes?

The ones she used to like until
she didn't like them no more

so she throwed them away.

[ all gasp]

Well, how come she didn't
like them no more?

Because they was too small.

Dil's small.

Then we gots to make
Dil biggier, like us!

Great idea, Kimi.

Then Taffy'll like him again.

[ giggling]

Look,

a boosty seat.

That'll make Dil
look even biggerer.

[ giggling]

Break's over--
got to go.

Youare ten seconds over
on your break.

Youcan make it up
on drive-thru duty.

Welcome to Boingo Burger,

where every meal's
a happy surprise.

[ Dil giggling]

Oh, my gosh!

Britannica!

Go refill the napkin
receptacles.

And tell your friends
to stop wasting napkins.

They don't grow
on trees.

D-oh!

Oh, you minis are
just having fun, huh?

Thank you,
thank you.

I don't think
Taffy likes
biggerer Dil.

What else can we do
to make her like him?

[ Dil cries]

Oh, you babies
are so sweet.

That's what I love about you.

That's it!

Taffy likes
when babies are sweet.

Maybe Dil issweet.

Nope.

He tastes
like old milk.

TOMMY:
Oh, we needs

to make him sweet.

Maybe there's some sweet stuffs
back there.

I'll never make

regional
Boingo manager--

not as long
as I'm surrounded
by slackers!

I'm stuck in this
kitchen forever!

I don't think
going back there

is such a good idea.

We might get stuck forever

like that mean
polky-dot-faced guy.

Chuckie's right.

TOMMY:
How about
ice cream?

That's sweet.

Good idea, Tommy.

Bad idea, Tommy.

We can't reach that
till we're growed-ups.

Let's just wait.

It shouldn't be
too long, right?

We could use those chairs.

[ grunting]

How come they're stucked
to the floor?

[ straining]

All these chairs is broked.

Look! The icy cream's
next to the climbing net.

I'm not sure

we should be
climbing
on that.

Aw, Chuckie, it's
a climbing net.

That's what
it's for.

[ squeals]

Help?

Wow, dreams really
do come true.

[ yelps]

I finished
the napkins.

Everything's clean.

Oops.

Good thing
we have napkins.

Ice cream.

Gummi
bears.

Uh, other stuffs.

[ Dil giggling]

Ooh, nummy, nummy.

TOMMY:
We did it, guys!

Look how sweet
Dilly is.

Taffy'll have
to like him now.

Even Ilike him now.

[ Dil giggles]

[ gasps]

[ yelling]:
Britannica!

Uh-oh...

Oops-- sorry.

Oh!

[ yells]

Whoa-oh!

[ giggling]

It's no use.

He needs to be
washed up.

I'll take him
to the kitchen.

That's perfect.

I'll get rid
of the stuff out here.

Bananica's
taking Dil
to the kipchen.

Oh, no!

He'll never
get out of there!

That's how Taffy's
going to get rid of him.

Come on!

We gots to save Dilly!

If we go in there,

we might not never get out
neither!

But we have to rescue Dil!

He's my little brother.

KIMI:
There he is.

[ giggles]

We gots
to get him.

Britannica!

We need more
Boingo cones, stat!

Now's our chance
to get Dil.

Whee!

Oh, no!

Where's Dil?

Oh, no!

[ laughing]

Taffy,
I'm sorry.

I lost Dil!

Oh, no!

Dil?

Dil!!

Dil?

Thank you...

Dil?!

Dil?

Dil?

[ yells]

There you are!

[ burps]

[ all gasp]

Oh, no.

She's going to
get rid of him
for sure now.

[ kissing]

You are the sweetest,
cutest, fabbest mini

in the whole world!

We did it!

We made Dil sweet!

And Taffy
likes him now!

Just like
she likes us.

You know what,
Britannica?

I was wrong.

I like dill pickles
after all.

It must be sweet pickles
that I don't like.

[ all gasp]

MECHANICAL VOICE:
Thank you, thank you.

STU:
My dog's still better
than your dog.