01x12 - Lucky 13

[bunniefuu]

We're breaking up, Sean.

Wow.

Did you just break up
with Sean?

"Teenager" means never
having to explain.

Four, three, two, one!

[upbeat rock music]

♪♪

♪ Every birthday
my mom and dad would say ♪

♪ You're another year older,
another year wiser ♪

♪ But I still go to school
to get an education ♪

♪ I treat each and every day
like a mini vacation ♪

♪ All grown up,
I really want to shout it out ♪

♪ All grown up,
I want the world to know ♪

♪ All grown up,
I really want to shout it out ♪

♪ All grown up with you

♪ All grown up with

♪ You

[indistinct chatter]

Hey, what's going on?

Hi, Angelica,
you look great today, girl.

Me and the Dil man are finally
on the radar of life

because our cousin's
a teenager.

Angelica, what's it like
being a teenager?

It's just like being
in a movie starring me,

Angelica.

[Savannah]
Angelica.

Angelica.

I'm really sorry,

but table's reserved
for the and over crowd.

Plus, you're kind of sitting
in my chair.

No, your name's not on it,
Savannah.

Wow.
And in gold too.

Oh, well, in a few days,
I'll be

and have my own cool table.

And who knows,
might be the new hot spot.

Right, girls?

Oh, and some of you haven't
RSVP'd yet to my birthday party.

Wouldn't want to miss out

on the cell phones
in the gift bags.

No roaming fees.
Unlimited minutes.

Ooh, girlfriend.

Taking on a 'er
before you are one

is like opening
an umbrella indoors

while walking under a ladder
as you break a mirror,

which dropped when you
opened that dumb umbrella.

The minute I'm , Savannah
and I will be equals,

especially after my party...

or as I prefer to call it,
the new gold standard.

What's the latest
tally on RSVPs

for this new
gold standard?

Well, so far there's Amanda,
Emily, Kendra, and you two guys.

Sounds more like
the new ten standard.

[chuckles]

♪♪

[Mrs. Pickles]
Any idea how
the invitations addressed

to Tommy, Dil,
and the rest of that group

ended up stuffed
behind the refrigerator?

Fluffy, no cat toys
for a week.

Invite them.

Tommy and his merry band
of dweebs?

Did I mention
their idea of fun

is sniffing
each other's socks?

You never know
where a dweeb--

Someone may end up.

Today a sock sniffer;

tomorrow president of
the New York stock exchange.

[grumbles]

Oh, here's some
good news:

I landed Zedra,
TV teen psychic.

She's amazing.

She said she knew
I'd be calling.

Your friends can have
aura readings

in between porpoise rides
and pedicures.

Sounds incredible.

All the more reason I don't want
my party ruined.

It's bad enough there'll be
preteens there,

but pre-preteens?

Please don't make me
invite them.

Sorry.

Guess I could always stick
them in little outfits

and make them serve punch.

[Angelica]
Here, here, here, and here.

Sorry they're late.

And stepped on.

Nothing says
"I want you at my party"

like a big footprint.

Of course if you already
have other plans,

I'll understand.

Uh, for instance...

The circus.
The ice capades.

Open house
at the Waxed Lip Museum.

Ooh, and lookie here--

Bossy and Flossy
the two-headed cow is--

Uh, are appearing
at the county fair.

That's a doer.

Just remember to leave
my birthday gifts

in the lockbox
on my porch.

Well, this is where we part.

I'm going to be a teenager,
and you guys aren't.

I'd love to say it's
been great knowing you,

but why lie now?

When you see me in passing,

remember to look
the other way.

I'm on to bigger, better,
and older things.

So basically,
same old, same old?

Pretty much.

Well, nothing's gonna
keep me away.

There's porpoise rides.

They talk, you know.

No way I'm missing what could be

the most meaningful
conversation of my life.

Well?

I'd stay away
from horizontal stripes.

Not me.

Angelica's birthday gift.

It's her big -.

[Both]
Ooh!

Sorry, Susie.

Didn't see you.

I'm a little obsessed with
finding the perfect dress

for my party.

Your party?

Really hope you can make it.

Ooh, that dress wants me
as much as I want it.

"You're invited
to my soon-to-be annual

annual spring bash
this Saturday."

Uh-oh.
The date!

Ah, yes,
the dreaded date.

How about we just
go together?

The date...
of Savannah's party.

This can't be right.

Savannah's party is on
the same day as Angelica's.

Oh.

Just remember:

As soon as you break
the news to Angelica, duck.

How come I have
to do it?

You're a better bad news
breaker than I am.

'Cause you're the one
with the ice cream, Harold.

You'll be able to deflect
whatever she throws.

[doorbell rings]The important thing is,

we're letting her down easy

before she finds out
the hard way.

Can you believe it?

These people all said no.

I don't get it.

Angelica, Harold has
something to tell you.

What?

Now, don't go
all crazy, Angelica.

You still have
a bunch of yeses.

[phone ringing]

Hello?
Oh, hi, Amanda.

What?

But you already said--

Oh.
Yeah.

Whatever.

[phone beeps]

Amanda said she couldn't risk
turning Savannah down.

Well, at least you
still have us and...

Um, some other
good friends.

[phone ringing]

It could be someone selling you
a vacation timeshare.

I don't think so.

[rock music]

Some people have
actually decided

not to come to Angelica's
birthday party.

They're going to this
Savannah person's.

[blowing]

And I can't change
the date now.

I had to move oceans
to get those porpoises.

No, this is
all my fault.

If I had given birth
to her a day later,

none of this
would have happened.

But now no one's coming
to her party.

The porpoises might as well
pack it up.

[sobbing]

Oh, cold.

No one's going
to Angelica's party.

Ee! Ee! Ee!

That's porpoise for

"why are you guys
hanging outside the kitchen?"

Angelica's party
is kind of guest-light.

Swank.

More one-on-one time
for me and my blowhole buddies.

Serve's Angelica right
for being so bossy.

Speaking of Bossy,
and Flossy,

are we going
Saturday or what?

I want to win a chance
at milking her.

I mean, them.

I don't know, guys.

This sounds
pretty sad.

Know what's really sad?

Angelica didn't want us
at a party

no one else even wants to go to.

Does the bottom of
the food chain have a basement?

I bet she wants us to go now.

She made it pretty
obvious she didn't.

Besides, who cares?

Well, I say we take a vote.

Then let me go first.

No.
No, no.

No, no, no...

No, no.

We get it.

We're here for the girls'
votes anyway.

[Both]
No.

Thanks for giving it
some thought.

Okay, Chuckie,
you're my last hope.

Seeing as I foresee
this party

as considerable potential
damage to my self-esteem,

I feel I have no choice
but to vote no.

I mean, it's Angelica.

For all we know, she could
stick us in little outfits

and make us serve punch.

Well, the difference between
you guys and me is...

I have to go.

Let's face it, I'm trapped
in the cold genetic truth.

She's my cousin.

[sobbing]

[sobbing]

I warned you this called
for a double-tubber.

Look, Angelica,
it's not that bad.

[wailing]

[cat yelps]

[blowing]

[sobbing]

I know there's
a way out of this.

Like maybe they'll
discover toxic mold

in Savannah's
basement,

and she'll have
to cancel her party.

Or...

Angelica could
ask Savannah

to change the day of her party.

What?

Are you crazy?

I'm the injured person here.

It's my th birthday.

You're actually suggesting
I go crawling to Savannah

and beg her to change
the day or her party?

So can you change the day
of your party?

Hmm.
We do have a problem, don't we?

I mean, we wouldn't want
to force anyone to choose.

It's like we think the same.

By the way,
I love how your eye shadow

matches your belt buckle.

Oh, thanks.

Anyway, because I know how much
your party means to you,

I'll certainly see
what I can do.

You're the best,
Savannah.

[chuckles]

"Convince Savannah
to change date of party."

Check.

"Coordinate party eye shadow
to match belt buckle and shoes."

Ee! Ee!

That was "pass the sardine,"
right?

More like,
"you want blubber with that?"

Darn.

Angelica?Busy here.

[sighs]
Can I help you?

Look, we're cousins,

and even though we've had
our ups and downs,

and downs and downs,

I don't want you to be
alone at your party,

so here it is.

I'll be there.

Did I mention what a sacrifice
this is for me?

Dear little cousin,

I'll hardly be alone

as Savannah is changing
the date of her party,

but because it was so sweet
and pointless of you

to offer to come,

I'll be sure to mail you
a piece of cake.

[over loudspeaker]
Just a reminder,
have a lovely day.

Take me off the
"being a good cousin" list.

Party's back on,
which means I'm off the hook.

Ee! Ee!

Uh, you might want
to ixnay the hook talk

around Kid Porpoise.

[register beeping and clicking]

And then I thought,
why get only one music act

when I can get two:
techno and pop?

Glad your party's back on.
I knew my idea would work.

Except I did think Savannah
would take at least a day

to make up her mind.

I can call the tux store
and reinstate my order.

Well, Ms. Teen Queen
sure looks stoked.

It is nice she'll have a big
crowd for her big part-tay.

Not as nice as knowing
we ain't going.

So what day did Savannah
move her party to?

She didn't say.

Did I tell you there's gonna be
an ice sculpture of me

carved from the actual iceberg
that sank the Titanic?

Well, what exactly
did she say?

That she'd see
what she could do.

Uh, Angelica, far be it from
me to burst in bubbles,

but that doesn't sound
like she promised

to changed the date
of her party.

We had this total
teen communication

you preteens
wouldn't understand.

Savannah, would you
please tell these two

the new date
of your party?

Oh, my gosh.
Didn't I tell you?

I really tried
to move things around,

but no luck.

Sorry.

But...
You said...

That I'd see what I could do,

and I did.

Bye-bye.

[sniffles]

[sobbing]

[Savannah]
I don't understand
why she actually thought

I'd change the date.

Doesn't she know I planned it
for that day on purpose?

I know it sounds mean,

but Angelica did break
a major rule

by assuming she'd be popular
before proven.

It's a hard lesson,
but it's for her own good.

In the long run,
she'll thank me.

I can't
believe it.

Someone actually
out-meaned Angelica.

Well, Angelica's bawling her
eyes out in the girls' room.

She keeps flushing
so no one hears,

but it'd take a leaf blower
to drown out that blubbering.

This is so, so sad.

Even I almost
feel sorry for her.

I said almost.

What are you guys
talking about?

She gave us our
walking papers, remember?

It's not our problem.

Then why does it feel
like it is?

It's kind of like when
you step on a wad of gum.

You can never get it
completely off your shoe.

Right, it's like even though
Lil dises Phil all the time,

she defends him
when other kids do it.

You dis me?

Only behind your back.

Oh, okay, then.

The point is,
relatives can dis you,

but outsiders can't,

and Savannah's way outside.

I got to do something.

Angelica isn't
even my cousin,

and I feel like doing
something too.

I guess she's been
in our lives so long,

she's kind of like
an evil, annoying cousin

to all of us.

There's no way around it.

She's family.

[indistinct chatter]

Guys, I think I got a plan.

[Tommy]
Uh, Savannah?

[gasps]
Oh, my gosh!

You're a Senor Jumping Bean
fan too?

Isn't he the cutest thing when
he does the Mexican hat dance

around his own
tiny sombrero?

Ugh!
Uh-huh.

[upbeat melody playing][maracas rattling]

Uh, you don't know me, but...

Of course I do.
You're Tommy, uh...

Yeah, yeah.

The point is, I too believe
Senor Jumping Bean

is the world's cutest chihuahua.

[electricity zapping]

Wow.

There's even Senor Jumping Bean
pre-moistened toilettes?

If it says
"Senor Jumping Bean,"

I have it.

Oh, man, then I guess you
already have a VIP invitation

to the Senor Jumping Bean
after-hours book signing

at the Lapdog Luxury
pet store Saturday?

No, I don't, and I'm a VIP.

How come I didn't get one?

Did I say VIP?

I meant, VVIP.

Anyway, the thing
of it is,

I can't go.

My father's having
an ankle-ectomy.

They're dissolving.

The good news is, he's getting
new titanium ones.

So anyway, if you don't have
anything else to do that night,

would you like
my ticket?

Would I?

I did have
a party planned,

but everyone will just have
to find something else to do.

I can't believe you're giving
this to a total stranger.

Truth.

I'm not a teenager,
but someday I will be,

and I hope that someone
of your popularity

and eternal coolness
will remember me.

Not only are you a fellow
Senor Jumping beaniac,

but you're a first-class
kiss-up.

Thanks.

[whistles]

So it worked?

Thanks to my brain
and your home printing press.

I got to get 'em all
purdied up

for when I milk
Bossy and Flossy.

[porpoises clicking]

[Harold]
Oh, I can't believe you guys
made me go through with this.

Some kids might show up.

Yeah, Harold's right.

I mean...
You never know.

No!

No!

I'll tell you what I know.

Hey, Angelica!

Happy birthday!

Oh, yeah, thanks.

No one is gonna show up
at this party,

and you want to know why?

Happy birthday!Happy birthday,
Angelica!
Yeah, hi.
How are ya?

I'll tell you why.

It's because I--

[indistinct chatter]

You were saying?

It's because...

They all came
to their senses.

You see, preteens,
showing up at my party

is my peers' way

of acknowledging
my equal popularity status

with Savannah,

whose party obviously
can't compete with mine.

Uh, Angelica?

Kimmy told me that Tommy
and his friends saved your party

by getting Savannah
to postpone hers.

What?

Those pre-preteens
did that for me?

[phone beeping]

Tommy!
Get over here now!

Bossy's the real cow.

Flossy's just a fake cow head.

Well, then get over here
as soon as Phil stops crying.

[applause]

Ee! Ee!

I knew you guys had interface
with our alien brethren.

[porpoises clicking]

Cool!

I mean, eee!

Just think, Drew,
before we know it,

we'll be planning
her sweet .

[gasps]
Do you think they can
squeeze one more face

on Mount Rushmore?

I still say she's gonna put us
in funny little outfits

and make us
serve punch.

Punch?

And he's her friend.

Guess you know why
I called you.

Where do we suit up?

I heard what you did
and wanted you here,

'cause it's my way
of saying...

Of saying...

Of saying...
Thanks!

Sorry, but that
doesn't make up

for destroying
my carefully constructed

Bossy and Flossy illusion.

I mean...

Hey, is that a mime?

[laughter]

So how did you get Savannah
to call off her party?

Senor Jumping Bean, huh?

[gulps]

There was no book signing
at the pet store.

It was just free flea dip day.

I found out he's
your cousin,

and you put him up to this

in order to steal all my friends
away from my party.

Admit it!

Fake book signing?

Hmm.

It's sneaky,
underhanded,

backstabbing...

something I normally do
but amazingly didn't.

Well, I want my friends back.

Party's still on
at my place.

No can do, Savannah.

I've already made
an appointment

for my hand
to be henna tattooed.

My party's gonna be
so much more fun than this.

[Kid]
Hey, check it out--

The contortionist is squeezing
into a vacuum cleaner bag.

Oh, come on!

[excited chatter]

Well, since your
party's a bust,

you probably don't have
anything better to do.

So if you want to stay,
I won't kick you out.

[porpoises clicking]

Uh, thanks.

My staying would give
this party an edge.

Attention, everyone.

The pre-course
of the first course

of a fabulous eight course meal

is about to be served,

so take your seats.

Oh, is that where
the cool kids are sitting?

Uh-huh.

Sorry, Savannah,
those seats are taken.

By who?

Some cool kids.

Is she pointing at us,

or do I have something
hanging out of my nose?

Both.

We scan on Angelica's
cool-dar?

Get up there.

It's just that
our long history together

compelled us to act.

But our history
is me yelling at you guys.

And it got us
right here.

Ee-ee-ee!

Eee! Eee!

[popping]

[Dil]
Eee! Eee! Eee!

I mean, "eee!"