02x11 - Fear of Falling

[bunniefuu]

GIRL:
Four, three, two, one!

[ rock music playing]

♪ Every birthday,
my mom and dad would say ♪

♪ "You're another year older,
another year wiser" ♪

♪ But I still go to school

♪ To get an education

♪ I treat each and every day

♪ Like a mini vacation

♪ All grown up!

♪ I really want
to shout it out ♪

♪ All grown up!

♪ I want the world to know

♪ All grown up!

♪ I really want
to shout it out ♪

♪ All grown up

♪ With you

♪ All grown up with...

♪ you.

[ grunts]

[ grunting]

[ panting as they run]

[ gasps]

[ laughing]

You've been captured
by Mountain Man!

Surrender or perish.

I surrender.

[ shouting crazily]

[ straining]

[ shouting]

I claim the mountain!

And a possible concussion.

OTHERS:
From the world's five corners,

all hail reigning
Mountain Man Lil!

[ all groaning]

You know, guys,

technically there are only
four corners of the world.

Yes, but there's always been
five of us.

Here's a new rule.

Let's stop changing the rules
before my head explodes.

Can't-- rule -J says
rules always change,

and if players try to overrule
that rule...

ALL:
They'll be overruled.

[ all laughing]

Just think, tomorrow
we'll be playing Mountain Man

in actual mountains.

Aw, poor Dil.

He always gets sick
right before vacation.

What a bum rap.

Brotherhood of the Mountain!

DREW:
Oh, it's a business trip.

What's your mother
going to do,

change clothes
times a day?

Have a great time.

I'll hold down the fort.

And don't worry,
I wouldn't dream

of having any parties
while you're gone.

Didn't your mom tell you?

You're going to the mountains.

I'd rather stay here
and not have parties.

The fresh air will
be good for you.

ANGELICA:
I hate fresh air,

and mountains
are dirty!

I'm not going!

There's a spa.

Okay.

It is going to be
so sweet,

you and me
hanging out /,

having adventures
just like back in the day.

Knack that.

We haven't spent

that much time together
since we got stuck

on your roof
for hours.

That fateful day I discovered
my fear of heights...

and gutters.

Aw, let's hope this is

absolutely nothing
like that experience.

Just so you know,

I've decided
to take advantage

of this mountain deal
to overcome my fear--

of heights, that is.

What about the gutters?

Uh... they can wait.

[ chuckles sheepishly]

ANGELICA:
Don't bother including me

in any outdoor junk--

I'll be kicking it
at the spa

all day, every day.

[ video games beeping
and ringing]

Whoa, this place is sick.

[ softly]:
Yes.

PHIL:
Man, this baby's so strong
you can make out every pimple

on that mountain's butt.

Spoken like
a true astronomer.

Go ahead, Chuckie,
take a look.

Uh, no, thanks.

I'm not ready

to look my enemy
in the face just yet.

Whoa!

[ gasps]

What? Did you see
somebody naked?

Come on, Tommy, let's
get to the mountain

before my right brain
tells my left brain
this is a bad idea.

"Seaweed wrap, spa pedicure,

paraffin dip."

"Kayaking, mountain biking,
hot yoga..."

YOUNG MAN:
I need one more victim
for my Trekker Five Hike.

Anyone interested?

[ dreamily]:
As long as I'm signing...

Make sure you wear

sturdy hiking boots,
travel light.

We'll hook up at a.m.

It's been years
in the making,

but I finally
found a guy

who's worthy
of my first kiss.

You might want to give him
the heads up.

Check me out--

repelling down
an actual mountain,

free of that sick, dizzy,
about-to-blackout feeling

I usually get
in high places.

Uh, sorry to ruin your
king-of-the-world moment,

but this is just a warm-up.

CHUCKIE:
I don't know if I'm ready
to tackle anything that big.

Look at it.

See how it mocks me?

It feeds off people
like me.

Stop stressing.

We're going to bank
some serious training

and I'll be
right next to you.

If you get the urge
to look down,

just look at me.

As long as you're with me,

I feel like I can do it.

Can and will, Bro.

The Brotherhood of the Mountain
waits for no man.

Whoa-- whoa...!

Missed me.

Oh!

[ laughing nervously]

Oh, here,
give me your hand.

Oh, come on,
I won't bite.

This is how it works.

It's very complicated,

but I think
you can handle it.

Lean back and lift.

We're up.

You can let go of my hand now.

Uh, sorry.

Oh, it's okay.

Hey, you're the guy
who was spying on me
through the telescope.

Spying is such a harsh word.

I prefer to think of it
as casual surveillance.

CHUCKIE:
Tommy was dead-on.

Our game played here is going
to make this an epic game,

one we'll never forget!

When we're old and estranged

because we can't remember
each others' names,

we'll be reunited
by one common memory!

ALL:
Brotherhood of the Mountain!

TOMMY:
Hi, guys--
this is Olivia.

I asked her to play with us.

Cool?

I own... the... the... mountain.

Olivia, if you reach
the mountain

before the Mountain
Person but fall,

it's not considered a win.

Unless, as stated
by subrule -C,

it's your third hit
during that game.

I have a crazy idea.

Why don't you guys play
and I'll watch.

I'm a little shaky
on rules one through
two billion and five.

No, that's okay,
we can play something else.

You sure?

I don't want to ruin
your game.

You're not ruining
our game.

[ whispering]:
Yes, she is.

Let's all go back
to the lounge

and hang by the fire.

[ both laughing]

So much for the Brotherhood
of the Mountain.

[ telephone ringing]

[ groggily]:
What?

No, I didn't order
a wake-up call.

It's still dark outside,
you moron.

Yes, this is Angelica Pickles

and no, I wouldn't go on
a ten-mile hike if you paid me.

Daniel!

[ cackling]

I was so kidding!

I'll be down in five.

Ooh!

CHUCKIE:
How is skiing
across a flat surface

supposed to help
my fear of heights?

To build leg strength.

I've got it all worked out.

Tomorrow, we deal
with the tram,

the day after,
we repel down

the phase-two mountain

and Friday we meet
the almighty phase three.

CHUCKIE:
How does one little wire hold
that big, heavy tram?

It doesn't seem safe, Tommy.

Well, get used to it.

It's the only way
to get up phase three.

Snow's melting, people.

Are we ready yet?

We are now.

I invited Olivia.

Let's rock!

Hey, Tommy,
is this right?

Uh, yeah, just keep
your skis parallel.

CHUCKIE:
Got it!

You want to walk
into town later,

check out the giant clock?

Yeah, cool, the town giant.

Good and on our way back,
we could look for road-k*ll,

bring it back
and boil it up
in the hot tub.

Sounds great.

I'm going to check on Olivia--
she's all by herself.

You're cool with that, right?

But we're supposed to train!
Together.

So, no one cares
now that I'm all by myself?

What happened
to the buddy system?

Anybody ever heard of that?

ANGELICA:
Whoa, glad that's over.

I'm b*at.

You cr*ck me up, Ange.

This is where
the Trekker Five
Hike begins.

So what we just did
doesn't count

for our ten miles?

What a rip-off.

[ Tommy and Olivia laughing]

What, are we invisible?

CHUCKIE:
Here I am!

Unarmed and open for business!

[ Tommy and Olivia laughing]

[ groans]

What happened
to your friends?

You got me.

I guess we're all alone
then, huh?

Didn't see that coming.

I... I'm going
to go inside

and make sure
everyone's okay.

I-I'm a little worried.

OLIVIA:Tommy--
would you mind if I...

[ both laughing]

CHUCKIE:
Could I ask you
a personal question?

Okay, I didn't shower
before I got in.

But nobody takes that rule
seriously.

[ whistle blowing]

Am I the only one
who feels weird around Olivia?

I don't know about her,

but I do feel weird
around Tommy when
he's around Olivia.

She's pretty nice, though--

and she didn't cry
when I accidentally

hit her in the head
with a giant snowball.

That was an accident?

Okay, I was aiming for her head.

Where have you been
all day?

When Angelica bailed
on her spa appointments,

I volunteered to fill in.

And you know what?

It was the best day of my life.

Before we make
the k*ller climb up
to Eagle's Point,

take a -second break.

[ sarcastically]:
Ooh, a whole minute.

Hello, shortcut.

Mules only?

Even better.

Come on, you horse wannabe,

make with the hooves.

[ brays]

Has anyone seen Angelica?

ANGELICA:
Tick tock, folks.

If you're not Trekker Five
material,

you ruin it for everybody else.

How'd you get up here so fast?

I hitched a ride.

Seriously, Ange,
you slay me.

Another day, another gamble
of life and limb.

Ready for phase two?

Now that you're here.

Where's what's-her-name?

It's Olivia.

I didn't know there was a test.

Uh, anyway, since
this is our last run
before phase three,

I thought it should
just be us two.

That's cool.

Remember, do not look down,

just look at me.

You know, Chuckie,

it's great hanging
with someone

you totally gel with,

who makes you laugh
and is cool.

Thanks, man.

I feel the same way.

You like Olivia, too?

Oh.

I thought you meant...

Never mind.

I mean, at first I
liked her as a friend,

but now I just...
like her.

And this is where
it gets interesting.

Olivia tried to kiss me
yesterday.

She did?

So, what did you do?

Oh, what any mature man
of the world would do.

I smashed a snowball
in her face.

[ both laugh]

So, you think I'm ready
for my first kiss?

One of us has to be,
and I have braces.

Kimi says you hear bells,

but she might be clowning.

Look down.

I thought you said
never look down!

Just do it.

I did it!

Today, phase two,

tomorrow, phase three
and I'm invincible!

[ grunts]

Olivia, I've been wanting
to tell you,

I really like...

snow.

It's very underrated.

The color, the flakes--
it's all good,

e-e-even the fake stuff.

Come on, Tommy,
phase three's waiting.

I am so ready to do this thing.

Where are you?

I wonder.

Some best friend.

I'll grab the next one.

And horses, though
not that bright,

are very loyal creatures.

I'm talking serious
loyalty here--

way up there with dogs.

Tommy, um, I don't know
if you've noticed,

but the ride's over
and everyone's gone

and, well, you've
been talking for
like an hour,

which would be fine
if you were making
any sense.

Oh, I'm sorry,
I was trying to...

[ bell chiming]

I'd love to stay

for my second, third

and if it's not pushing it,
fourth kiss,

but I promised
to meet Chuckie
for phase three.

Go on, get out of here.

And for the record, I like you
a lot better than snow.

[ chuckles]

Oh, boy, this is high.

Phase three, my Aunt Martha!

More like phase ten!

[ screams]

I can't do it alone.

This is not going to happen.

Thanks for nothing, Tommy.

Closed?

Closed?

[ shivers]

Why heights?

Why couldn't I have a phobia of
something closer to the ground,

like spiders or webbed toes

or... [ shivering] zippers?

I have two options.

I can rappel down...

[ shivers]

or stay up here all night and
risk becoming a Chuck-sickle.

[ squeals]

Chuck-sickle it is.

[ animal howls]

On second thought,
I need the exercise.

[ groans]

[ yelps]

No one's been able
to finish

six consecutive
hikes of mine.

Color me impressed.

Tell me more.

Okay.

When I first saw you,

I figured you were
the kind of girl

who'd be holed up
in the spa all week.

Actually, you figured right.

[ laughs]

There you go again,
always messing with me.

[ giggles nervously]

TOMMY:
Angelica,

have you seen Chuckie?

Do I look like
I've seen Chuckie?!

We spotted Chuckie
in the telescope.

He's rappelling down
the big mountain,

alone!

PHIL:
Weren't you supposed
to go with him, bro?

Yeah, but the tram
was closed.

Daniel, you've got to help me
get up the mountain.

No!

Come with me, Ange.

Ah, it'll take forever
to get up this way.

LIL:
What are you looking at,
Angelica?

Nothing.

Flora, fauna.

Oh.

Okay, okay, stop burning holes
in me with your eyes!

I know a shortcut!

A what?

Oh, brother, a shortcut.

I've been taking
shortcuts
on the hikes.

It gets worse.

There's a mule-only trail
right through there

and the mules run

every five minutes or so.

Thanks, Angelica.

Whatever.

[ panting]

So far, so good.

But getting so dark.

Whoa!

Don't look down.

Don't look down!
[ Chuckie's voice echoing]

That's Chuckie!

No need to panic.

I am completely calm.

Completely calm
because I'm in total shock.

No brain function whatsoever!

Chuckie!

Tommy!

Stay there, we're
coming to get you!

No, thanks,

I don't need getting.

Chuckie, don't be
like that.

I'm getting used
to the whole, "Where's Tommy?

Well, nowhere" situation!

I'm sorry I blew you off.

I know this is a lame excuse,
but I lost track of time.

I guess a fly-by-night vacation
crush trumps ten years of...

best frienditude.

[ grunts]

Hold tight, guys.

[ grunts, gasps]

[ gasps]

Oh...

Aah...

[ cries out]

[ screaming]

[ scream echoing]

[ gasping]

Oh, man.

Hold on, Tommy,
I'm coming to get you!

Don't look down!

Just look at me.

Here.

Grab my hand, Chuckie.

No, I want to finish
what I started.

I really am sorry.

I know.

And in case I don't
make it down alive,

I need to know one thing.

Did you kiss her?

Don't tell anybody,
but yeah, I kissed her.

My first kiss!

Hisfirst kiss?

I'm going to k*ll him.

I'll never forget you,
Tommy Pickles,

and if my parents weren't
watching us from the lobby,

I'd kiss you again.

And I'd kiss you back.

[ giggles]

I feel bad I wasn't
there for you.

Don't.

I was forced
to face my fears

on my own for once.

And I have to say,
it feels pretty good.

I promise I'll never
let you down again.

Ah, but you will.

Now that we're getting on
in years,

whether we like it or not,

girls are going to be
in the picture.

And next time,
I might be the one

who's crushed-out
on some girl

and leaves you
in a near-death
situation.

Chuckie's right.

Girls and mountains
will come and go,

but friends are like
totally forever.

Wait a minute.

If we're all here, who's
guarding the mountain?

Nobody.

We're not playing the game,
we're hiding from Angelica.

I hike miles through filthy
mountains, and for what?

For you to ruin the most
important moment of my life.

How dare you sabotage my first
kiss, then have one of your own!

I know you're out there,
Pickles,

and when I find you,
you're going to be history!

TOMMY:
My first kiss!