04x04 - Harasslin' Match/ Dog The Not-So-Mighty

[bunniefuu]

♪ One fine day
with a woof and a purr ♪

♪ A baby was born
and it caused a little stir ♪

♪ No blue buzzard,
no three-eyed frog ♪

♪ Just a feline, canine,
little CatDog ♪

♪ CatDog... CatDog...

♪ Alone in the world
is a little CatDog ♪

♪ Out on the road
or back in town ♪

♪ All kind of critters
putting CatDog down ♪

♪ Got to rise above it,
got to try to get along ♪

♪ Got to walk together,
got to sing this song ♪

♪ CatDog... CatDog...

♪ Alone in the world
is a little CatDog ♪

♪ CatDog... CatDog...

♪ Alone in the world
is a little CatDog. ♪

Woman:
Maybe some time
with your Uncle Winslow

will teach you two
how to behave.

Winslow:
What have we here?

Ah! CatDog! Zabbadoo!

Being mean don't stink.

Sure smells good to me.

Heh-heh!

( grunts )

( barking... )

It's the famous CatDog Comet!

( laughing )

( doorbell rings )

Don't stop, I'll get it.

( laughing )

( groaning )

Both:
Good morrow,
Uncle Winslow.

You're late! Good!

Hey, CatDog, this is my niece
and nephew, Brat and Runt.

They're going to be
staying with me for a while.

Well, hi-ho diggity.

Any niece and
nephew of Winslow's

is a niece and
nephew of Winslow's.

I'm Dog, and this is Cat.

Welcome to our happy home.

So please it,
I'm Brat.

And I'm Runt.

It's a pleasure
to meet you, sir.

Oh, please.

Your little "nice" routine
doesn't fool me one bit.

My, my, how fortunate
you are, Uncle Winslow

to share your home with
such a charming pair.

What the...?

Gee, Winslow,
you sure have
a nice family.

They are
so delightful
and courteous.

What are you, nuts?

Geez, my sister was right.

All right, you little cupcakes,
you're coming with me!

It was a pleasure meeting you,
Mr. Cat.

And Mr. Dog.

Isn't it great
to see a family

doing family things
together, Cat?

Not that family, Dog.

When that family
gets together

it can only mean
one thing.

A picnic?

No.

A family portrait.

No...

A big masquerade
karaoke party

where everyone
dresses up

as their
favorite vegetable

and jumps into
a big wooden bowl

making a singing
family salad.

♪ La-la-la, toss-toss.

( snickers )

How are things
on Planet Dog, anyway?

Oh, status quo.

Never mind.

Look, when a pack
of Winslans get together

it can only mean
disaster.

And I for one

will be ready for it!

Attention!

We are Winslans.

We exist only to harass.

It's not right or wrong.

It's just what we do.

And I'm going to teach you two
cream puffs how it's done!

Behold!

The ultimate Winslan
harassing target.

My CatDog.

Nowhere will you
ever find a target

so perfectly designed
for harassing.

We want a CatDog,
Uncle Winslow.

Can we have
a CatDog, please?

We want a CatDog
ever so much.

What, are you nuts?

There's only one CatDog
and he's mine, see?

And there ain't nobody going to
take him from me, neither.

Cat:
No sign of
the little fiends, Dog.

( clank, whirring )

( high-pitched whistling )

Oh, boy... whoo-whoo!

Wa-hoo! Do-do-do-doy!

( shouting and grunting )

( laughing )

Okay! Bring me back up.

( laughs )

Hey, let's go, I'm hanging here.

Please keep
your hands and feet

in the ride
at all times.

Winslow:
Hey... what's going on here?

Cat, this is terrible.

Oh, yes, Dog, it's so,
so wonderfully terrible.

Winslow:
Get me down!

Get... me... down!

Whoa... ow!

Hey, have
a nice trip, huh?

Yeah?
( laughs )

Nice trip, get it?

You get it?
Hey? ( laughs )

What?

( laughs )

"Hands and feet
inside the ride."

Oh, and it's
spinning around.

"Wha... Help me!
Help me!"

Heh-heh, heh-heh!

It's priceless.

Hey, hey, hey!

He is your uncle.

Say you're sorry.

What are you, nuts?

My catch phrase!

Not anymore, chump.

You're finished here.

I don't understand. Why?

We did it for the CatDog,
of course.

Heh-heh.

Oh, did you hear that,
Dog?

They did it for us.

Oh, I told
they were good kids.

Double-crossed by
my own fur and bones.

Brat and Runt
were just acting out.

Exploring their
behavioral boundaries.

Child Raising,
Rearing and Routing.

I'm brushing up in case
I get to be an uncle someday.

I've been beaten
unfair and square.

The Winslan code of dishonor
dictates that I must leave.

Good-bye, Dog.

( sobs )

I'll miss you,
you big chucklehead.

And Cat...

Yeah, yeah, parting
is such sweet sorrow...

blah, blah, blah, blah...
good-bye.

Well, I must say

I'm glad you refused
to be corrupted

by your Uncle Winslow.

Like I said,
we did it for you.

Isn't that sweet?

She's developed
a little crush on me, Dog.

But, Cat,
according to this

children without
a roll modeler

can get into
serious troubles.

Oh, Dog, please...
how much trouble

( baby voice ):
can these two little
pumpkins be?

Look at those little faces.

( kissing )

Brat:
Here's my

"Walk the ChumpDog!"

( laughing )

( grunting )

Dog:
Whoa...!

Cat:
I don't understand it.

I thought
you did it for me!

You thought right, fuzz brain.

And now we have you.

And Winslan code of dishonor

says until another Winslan
wins you back

you belong to us.

Oh, Dog, I never thought
I'd say this.

I-I-I need Winslow!

Cat:
Home for Retired Harassers,
Hecklers and Pests.

( laughs )

This is the place, Dog.

( muffled crying )

Winslow:
Get lost.

Winslow? It's us.

It's CatDog.

I don't know no CatDog.

Must be a
different Winslow.

Oh...

( crying ):
Winslow...

Winslow, you've
got to come home.

Brat and Runt
are completely
out of control.

Yeah, Winslow, they need you!

What are you, ner...

neh... uh... sheesh...

It's hopeless.

Look at me.

I ain't got it no more.

I'm washed up.

I'm a harass-been.

No, no, no,
that's not true, Winslow.

Yeah, Winslow,
you can still do this...

Eep!

And this...

Oh, boy! Oh, ball,
ball, ball, ball...!

Cat:
Okay, good... right...
fine... okay...

We get the point!

( laughing weakly )

( crying )

Oh, sheesh...

I ain't even got no cackle.

Forget it.

I ain't going back
and that's final!

And you call
yourself a Winslan.

Come on, Dog...
( inhales deeply )

It stinks
around here.

Take it easy, Winslow.

( chair creaking )

( television playing )

Dog:
Don't worry, Cat.

According to this,
mayhem is just a passing phase.

Hey, CatDope, move
to the left a little.

This reception reeks.

( creaking )

Oh... oh...

Both:
Aah...!

( pop )

( cr*ck )

Brr...

Look, in the distance...

It's Winslow!

I ain't in the
distance, you goof.

I'm just dinky.

I come back
for what's mine!

Back for more humiliation?

Yeah, ( laughs )...

back for more
humidialation?

That's a good one,
yeah. ( laughs )

Yeah, back for more...

What...?!

I challenge you

to a Winslan
harasslin' match.

( growling )

( snorts, squeaks )

( cracking )

( squishing )

( howling )

( squeak, pop )

Bring it on...

All right.

I knew you wouldn't
let us down, Winslow.

Now show them
what you got, Winslow.

Come on, boy,
show them what you g...

Get the light, boy.

Go on, get the light.

Heh-heh-heh-heh!

( garbled ):
Hey... that was pretty good!

Ah...

( sniffs )

( Cat gagging )

What's the matter, Cat,
Dog got your tongue?

Oh, I forgot.

Dog is your tongue.

Heh-heh-heh.

Look at this picture.

It defies
the laws of science.

Top that, sweetcakes.

Yeah, um, Cat,
your face is...

Uh, hey...
look, it's a truck...

It's a truck
for garbage.

( laughing )

Yeah, your face
is a garbage truck.

That's a... Hey,
that's not a good one.

Ow!

What...?!

Winslow:
Youse rookies

ought to show
some respect

for those of us who know
how to be disrespectful.

Understand?
Capisci?

What are you, n...

Uh-uh-uh!

That's my catch phrase.

What are you, nuts?

Heh-heh-heh.

What are you, nuts?

What, are you nuts?

What? Are you nuts?

Heh... heh-heh...

Heh-heh-heh...

I'm back, baby!

Heh-heh!

( brakes squeal )

Brat:
You haven't seen

the last of us, Uncle Winslow.

Let's go, Runt.

Take care, you little deviants!

Heh-heh!

Ooh...

Gee, Winslow, we solved
this little problem together.

I guess things will be different
between us from now on, huh?

What are you, nuts?

Hey, Dog, more meat!

Oh, meat...!

Whoa...!

My sweet CatDog.

Whee... aah...!

( all yelling... )

( laughing... )

Yeah...
( laughing )

( continue laughing... )

( others yelling... )

( bicycle bell rings )

( Cat snoring )

I smell trouble!

No...

I smell trouble!

( farting sound )

I smell...

( sniffs )

( sighs sleepily )

( snoring )

Dog!

Do you mind?

No time for sleep,
my trusty Catboy.

We don't
want to be late

for the first annual
Dog The Mighty Day!

Dog The Mighty Day?

What are you
talking about?

Dog The Mighty

with his faithful sidekick
Catboy at his side

used his mighty
super-hero powers

to save the life
of Mayor Rancid

exactly one year ago today.

Ah, I remember it like
it was only months ago.

You didn't use any super powers
to save his life.

That was an accident.

And if you think
I want any part

of this bogus
Dog-the-whatever day

you're dreaming.

Which is exactly
what I would like

to get back to doing.

♪ Dog The Mighty!

I smell trouble!

Cat:
No, Dog, no...

Oh! Would you quit doing that?

Hearken,
trusty Catboy.

The super-hero code

says that
faithful sidekicks

must always wear
their special

protective
sidekick helmets.

I don't need a special
protective sidekick helmet

because I am not
your trusty Catboy.

Oh... I get it.

you don't
want anyone

to know your
secret identity.

No, I don't want anyone to know
that I'm with a crazy person

who thinks
he's a super hero.

Now, can we please
get out of here?

You mean you don't want to be
my sidekick no more?

Well, let me see
if I can put this

in a way you'll understand.

No!

You're on
in two minutes

Dog the Mighty
Fabulous.

I see.

Well, the super-hero code states
that when a faithful sidekick

is no longer faithful

he can no longer be a sidekick.

( sniffles )

I'm afraid I'll have to
let you go.

( chuckles )

You mean you're f*ring me?

I'm afraid so.

Farewell, old chump.

Don't you mean chum?

Tomato, pot-ah-to...

I'm sorry it had to
end this way.

We were a great team.

( drum roll )

Well, that's my cue.

And now, because you
asked for it...

You know him, you love him...

We couldn't have
Dog The Mighty Day without him

Dog The Mighty!

( cheering and applause )

Man:
You're the man, Dog!

Huh?!

You go, Dog!

Love you, Doggy, Doggy!

( cheering )

( fireworks exploding )

It's been exactly one year
since I provided Dog the Mighty

with the glorious opportunity to
save your beloved mayor's life.

( cheering )

Without you,
the people of Nearburg

wouldn't be able to enjoy
my new restaurant

Rancid's Beef Bucket,
out on Route Nine.

What do you have to say
for yourself?

Thank you, Mr. Mayor, sir.

Woman:
Yay, Dog the Mighty, yay!

Why so glum?

That's not the Dog The Mighty

we all know and love.

Well, Dog The Mighty
doesn't have a sidekick
anymore.

Crowd:
Oh...!

( gasps )

What?

Dog The Mighty with
no Catboy at his side?

That would be like
your beloved Mayor Rancid

without his adoring public.

It just won't do.

Who wants to be
Dog The Mighty's new Catboy?

Me! Pick me!

I want to be Catboy!

Huh?!

Pick me!
Please, please!

( all clamor )

Dog:
Gee, there's so many of you!

Uh, eeny, meeny...

mighty, choosy...

Randolph:
This Catboy business
sounds fabulous.

Is the position open
to cats?

( gasps )

Great costume!

You're hired.

There you have it, folks:
the new and improved

Dog the Mighty
and Catboy!

( crowd cheering )

I smell trouble!

And I love it!

( cheering and applause... )

Cat:
He picked him?

But I'm Catb...

( crowd cheering... )

Wow, this is great!

I wonder where Cat is.

He's missing out
on all the fun and pageantry.

Hey, guys, whoa, whoa!

Hey, slow down!

Forget about him, D.T.M.

This day is all about you.

You're right.

( laughs )

It is all about me.

♪ Dog the Mighty!

I smell trouble!

And I love that smell!

( sighs )

Ooh!

( ice clinking )

( bubbling )

( sighs )

( women giggling )

Brr...

( crowd clamoring... )

( crowd cheering )

I smell clogging!

That's right, folks.

Rancid's Clogging Haven
is Dog the Mighty's

favorite place to clog.

( grunts )

( whimpering )

( music playing... )

You clog with us?

Clogging's good.

Clog the Mighty!

And I love it!

Woman:
Sexy superheroes.

Ouch... ooh! Oh... watch.

No more... no more clogging.

Ooh... ow... let me go... ow!

Sweet mother of jus...

So, you're Dog the Mighty's
ex-sidekick.

I'm Weasel Face and
this here's the Crabby Minnow.

We're ex-sidekicks, too.

Excuse me, Mr. Face,
but I am hardly an ex-sidekick.

I remember when the
Galloping Ferret replaced me.

Oh, yes, the fact that
you're a forgotten nobody

with no real identity
or purpose in life

kind of grows on you
after a while.

I am not a has-been.

I am Catboy.

Ooh!

( woman gasps )

Whoo-hoo... oh... ow, ow, ow...

Easy, easy...

Aah...!

Oh!

Dog, Dog...
I have to talk you.

Look, Dog,
I'm sorry about

not being a faithful
sidekick before

but I've changed now

and I'll be
the most faithful sidekick

a super hero ever had.

Ooh, I'll even wear my special
protective sidekick helmet.

See? See?
It's me-- Catboy!

Gee, Cat, I already
have a sidekick.

What's so great
about him?

Well, he raises
my popularity ratings

gives great
interviews

handles the foreign
media very well.

Dog, Dog, you have to
take me back

because...
( laughs wildly )

I'm the real Catboy!

You hear me?
I'm the real Catboy!

Row...you know,
uh... Meow!

Hiss!
( laughs wildly )

Who's that weird guy
bothering Dog the Mighty?

Cat, get a hold
of yourself.

This is embarrassing.

Even ex-sidekicks need
to have some dignity.

Do you want me to take care
of this guy for you, D.T.M?

Back off, butt-chin!

Okay, take it easy.

I don't want any trouble.

So... this is how
it's going to be.

Well, I didn't want to
have to do this

but you leave me
no other choice.

Dog the Mighty and this
new sidekick are frauds!

Go on, Dog the Mighty

show the people
your super-hero powers.

I smell trouble!

And I really
love that smell.

( crowd cheering )

You're buying that?

Get your hands off of me.

I am Catboy!

Ahoo!

( grunts )

( groans )

"Statue of local hero
unveiled tonight

in Nearburg town square."

We'll just see
who the hero really is.

Woman:
That's amazing...

( crowd murmuring )

( Cat chuckles )

Yeah... when I hit the string

and the statue starts to
fall on Rancid

I'll push him out of the way.

And I, Catboy,
will save the day.

( laughs )

( applause )

Rancid:
It's with great pleasure

that I honor myself...

er, uh, Dog the Mighty, that is,
with this statue.

( cheering and applause )

Crowd:
Oh...

Dog the Mighty looks
so much mightier

in marble,
don't you think?

I'll say!

( crowd screaming... )

( screams )

Oh, no!

It's happening
all over again!

Everybody stand back!

This is a job for
the original Catboy

which I'm...

( sniffs )

Hmm, char-broiled beef
with a hint of mesqueet!

No, no, I'm supposed
to save him!

( chomps )

( screams )

I got it!

Leaping lumbago!

Dog the Mighty saved your
beloved mayor once again!

( cheering and applause )

Cat ( muffled ):
Just help me get this...

Cat, you're back!

Are you okay?

( dazed ):
Did I do it?

Am I a hero, Dog?

Yes, you did it, Cat.

You saved the statue!

It's so good
to have you back

on the side of goodness and
super-hero-sidekick-dom.

So, I can be a sidekick again.

Both:
You sure can!

( laughs weakly )

Dog:
What a day.

I can't wait until next year's
Dog the Mighty Day!

Goodnight, Catboy.

Goodnight, Dog the Mighty.

Both:
Goodnight, Kid Kitty!

I smell trouble!

And I love it!

Terrific...

♪ One fine day
with a woof and a purr ♪

♪ A baby was born
and it caused a little stir ♪

♪ No blue buzzard,
no three-eyed frog ♪

♪ Just a feline, canine,
little CatDog ♪

♪ Catdog... CatDog...

♪ Alone in the world
is a little CatDog ♪

♪ Out on the road
or back in town ♪

♪ All kind of critters
putting CatDog down ♪

♪ Got to rise above it,
got to try to get along ♪

♪ Got to walk together,
got to sing this song ♪

♪ Catdog... CatDog...

♪ Alone in the world
is a little CatDog... ♪

♪ Alone in the world
is a little CatDog. ♪