01x06 - Party Animal/Mush, Dog, Mush!

[bunniefuu]

♪ One fine day
with a woof and purr ♪

♪ a baby was born
and it caused a little stir ♪

♪ no blue bug
and no three-eyed frog ♪

♪ just a feline, canine,
little catdog ♪

♪ catdog... catdog... ♪

♪ alone in the world
was a little catdog ♪

♪ out on the road
or back in town ♪

♪ all kind of critters
putting catdog down ♪

♪ got to rise above it,
got to try to get along ♪

♪ got to walk together,
got to sing this song ♪

♪ catdog... catdog... ♪

♪ alone in the world
was a little catdog ♪

♪ catdog... catdog... ♪

♪ alone in the world
was a little catdog. ♪

Cliff:
Yeah, here comes that freak

right on schedule.

It's time we got him.

It takes a
two-headed dummy

to catch a
two-headed dummy.

( Giggles )

Lube!

When i yell "glue,"
you squirt!

Uh, uh... got it, boss.

The signal is "glue."

Then we roll him
in chicken feathers and, uh...

( Clucking )

...run him out of town.

Hey!

What you doing,
hanging out?

I can hang,
I'm a good hanger.

Hey, b*at it,
nut-breath.

We're about to catch us
a catdog.

Catdog!
I can catch a catdog.

( Growling )

There's a catdog now!

Let me at him!

Take that, you dirty,
stinking dog.

Dog, dog, dog.

Cat, cat, cat, cat.

Cat, dog, cat...

( Yelps )

That's not catdog,
you lousy rodent.

Oh...

It's a trap, see?

Bait.

Feathers.

Glue.

( Laughs )

Dog:
Garbage truck!

Oh, come on!

Move, you big noodle-head!

What do you think
you were doing?

Uh, you said "glue."

Squirrel:
Guys, i should have been
the glue man.

( Gasping ):
Ooh!

( Gasps )

Get it off, get it off!

What are you
upset about?

This is fun!

Come on.

Get this tree jockey
off of me.

The thing is, we don't usually
take orders from non-greasers.

Hey, i am a greaser.

You betcha,
you tell 'em.

Uh, i don't think so.

Let's review the big book
of greaser rules, shall we?

Rule number one...

Greasers are dogs.

I'm a dog, I'm a dog.

I'm a dog!

I'm a dog-- growl.

Rule number two, greasers
are not two-headed freaks.

She's got you on a
technicality there.

One, uh... two.

Hey, I'm the same
old cliff.

We're like
brothers

salt and pepper

as*ault
and battery

breaking
and entering

Laurel and Hardy.

Tuna and dolphins.

I vote we get cliff
out of the greasers.

All in favor,
say "aye."

Aye.

Me.

Motion passed.

Adios, freak!

( Lube jeering )

Freak.

Boy, this is great.

You and me
together forever.

Two peas in a pod.

( Thunderclap )

( Groans )

( Whimpers )

Man:
We're closed, freak.

( Windows closing
all the way up )

( Car alarm wails )

Hiya, freak.

( Laughs )

( Sniffling )

Please, tell me I'm not a freak!

Man:
Shut up, you freak!

( Door slams )

Ah, here's to
the good life, dog.

( Chuckles )

( Doorbell rings, barks, yowls )

( Thunderclap )

( Screeches )

Little girl selling cookies?

I means you no harm.

I comes in peace.

Please, help me.

I'm a freak.

You're a freak.

Teach me your freakish ways.

Sure, we'll help you.

Did you know you have
a squirrely on your back?

Yeah, well, it beats
having a cat on your butt.

I'll help you, cliff.

( Clears throat )

What you need is a guide...

A teacher...

A guru...

In a word, me.

( Clears throat )

Oh, boy, do we pound
the freak now?

We don't use the term "freak."

We prefer bi-cranial quadruped.

Okay, do we pound
the bi-cranial quadruped now?

Shh!

It's a three-step program.

We'll begin with communication.

Ooh.

So, dog,
how was your day?

Well, first i went...

No need to listen.

Since you're attached,
you were there.

Hey, come on.

Let me at him,
i can...

Step two:
Working together.

When you're a twosome

you can prepare a meal
while reading a book.

Like pizza ala catdog.

( Humming )

( Humming Italian tune )

♪ When the pie
hits your pizza ♪

♪ it's so good to eat-za ♪

♪ la-la-la ♪

♪ thank you, cliff ♪

♪ la-la-la-la,
la-la-la ♪

aw!

♪ La-la-la, la-la ♪

♪ la-la ♪

♪ la-la-la-la-la ♪

♪ la-la...

♪ La-la. ♪

( wheezes )

Step three.

Doing what your
other half enjoys.

Well, let's take dog,
for instance.

He likes to chase
garbage trucks.

Cat:
Dog, no, no!

No, no! Dog! Stop it!

Well, what do you like to do,
squirrel?

I'd like to pound catdog.

Besides that.

How about this?

( Cliff screams )

Squirrel:
Oh!

Isn't this great, cliff?

( Chattering )

Here's a trick
my granddaddy taught me.

( Gasping )

( Chattering )

Hey, hey!

Are you a flying squirrel?

No, why?

( Screaming )

And here comes the best part.

( Horn honking )

Squirrel:
Whee!

( Cliff moans )

Squirrel:
Whee!

Cat:
Ow, oh, stop, stop, please.

( Click )

( Music and applause )

( Click )

( Music slows and stops )

( Crow caws )

Hey, thanks, cat.

You was one great teacher.

I learned plenty.

I'm ready to face the world

as a bi-cranial quadruped thing,
person.

( Click, music, applause )

Bye, cliff-squirrel.

Come again any time.

( Sobbing )

There goes
the future, dog.

I'm telling you,
that boy is going places.

( Sobbing )

Squirrel:
Oh, boy, what now, cliff?

I got some
unfinished business

to take care of
with some friends.

I'm right
behind you.

Hey, what's your
name, anyhow?

Eddie, but my friends call me
the pulverizer.

Oh, okay. ( Chuckles )

Pulverizer.

I always say,
it takes a two-headed dummy

to catch a two-headed dummy.

( Gasp ) ( Gasp )

Both:
Cliff-squirrel!

In person.
Mm-hmm.

And we got something
to say, huh, squirrel?

You betcha.

We like who we are.

Squirrel:
Yeah!

I am we, he is me.

We is all together.

Tell it, brother.

Goo goo g'joob.

And if cliff-squirrel

ain't good enough
for the greasers

i and we don't care.

That goes double
for me-- hallelujah!

Cliff:
So take your lousy jacket.

There.

We quit.

Hey...

Hey!

( Laughs )

Hey, i ain't a freak no more.

I'm back.

I'm a greaser.

Yeah, and I'm a greaser, too.

No, you is out of here, Eddie.

Call me pulverizer!

Shriek:
Welcome back, cliff.

Lube:
We missed you, boss.

( All sniffling )

We're hugging each other
and such.

Whoa.
Hey.

( Squealing )

What do you want to do now,
cliff?

( Crickets chirping )

( Doorbell rings,
barks, yowls )

Hey, look, dog.

It's our star pupil.

Did you come over
for the class reunion?

Where's squirrel?

Okay, well, i...

Cliff, count to ten.

Calm down

whoa!

Let's get
out of here!

( Glass breaks )

Dog:
It's here, it's here, it's here!

Cat:
Slow down, please.

Stop, already.

The mud's here,
the mud's here.

( Crowd cheering )

( Bell ringing )

Let's get ready to rumba.

Ladies and gentlemen,
in this corner, weighing in

at a mean ounces

our current champion,
the dog of death.

All the way
from cucaracha, Mexico

wearing his trademark
filthy fur, El gato muerto.

( Crowd booing )

Sure, you b*at Otis
the myopic hillbilly

but you'll never win back
the championship belt.

( Growling )

Nice try, El gato,
but your tricks won't work here.

( Both grumbling, grunting... )

Ow! Hey!

Winslow:
Oh, oh, that's the Toledo
pretzel lump.

Yow! It's the hammerlock
scissors wedgie.

Well, brothers day
is coming up.

What you going to get me,
huh, huh, huh, huh?

A breath mint.

Now get off me.

One, two, three, you're
out of there, cat.

The winner, and still champion,
the dog of death!

Yoo-hoo, Mr. luffa.

Why there you are.

Look at you.

What's that?

You want to clean me?

Oh, Mr. luffa, that is a riot!

Well, if you insist.

Why, Mr. luffa, you
are incorrigible.

( Laughs heartily )

( Humming )

( Clears throat )

I hate to interrupt your special
cat-luffa moment...

But what are you getting dog
for brothers day?

Zippo, nada,
nothing, z-plus-ro.

Gifts, every time
i buy dog a gift

it blows up
in my face.

Check this out.

On our first brothers day,
i bought dog a jar

of gourmet mayonnaise;
He gave me a hat.

I got him an expensive dirt bike
on our fifth brothers day;

i still have the scar.

And then, there was that time,
well, every night since--

nightmares... i can't,
i can't go.

Just, i don't want
to be that guy, please.

I'd rather forget
brothers day, thank you.

Whoa, whoa!

Whoa, whoa!

Bark, bark.

Man ( Over loudspeaker ):
don't forget your brother
on brothers day.

don't forget your brother
on brothers day.

Wow!

Dog:
Brothers day sale.

Hey, cat?

Cat, can i borrow
a few bucks

so i can buy
you a gift?

You spent the last
of our funds on mud.

We're flat broke.

It's too bad,
really.

I guess we can't
exchange

brothers day
gifts this year.

I'm sorry, cat.

I know you must
be disappointed.

TV announcer:
And the mall is enjoying
brisk business

as brothers prepare
for brothers day.

Look for holiday parades,
pageants

and a guest appearance
by the manicotti quintuplets.

Girl:
♪ forget about your father,
forget about your mother ♪

♪ spend at least a dollar,
jeepers, he's your brother. ♪

announcer:
Brothers day
is a registered trademark

of shvanker and bockmeyer
enterprises.

Any use of brothers day...

Man, am i sure glad
i don't have a brother.

You don't know what
you're missing.

Someone to share the good times
and the bad.

Yeah, well, if i did have a bro,
I'd be real crafty-like

and tell him I'm not going to
buy him a brothers day gift.

But then, I'd purchase him
the greatest gift ever.

But that's just me.

Dog ( Thinking ):
Oh, I'll bet that was
cat's plan all along.

What a great guy!

Somehow I'll have to scrounge
together some moola

and buy him something special.

Cat ( Thinking ):
Dog's going to buy me a present
and make me look like a fool

unless i can come up with some
cash and get him one first.

( Yells )

( Sniffles )
Oh, good-bye, mud.

Hello, Mr. Washington;
Nice wig.

Hello, Mr. Lincoln;
That's a very pretty goatee.

Hello, Mr. Nixon; You need
a shave, as per usual.

Hey, dog, what's
that truck doing?

I, i, I'm having
the mud cleaned.

Oh, good idea.

Um, come on.

I've got some... stuff
to do in town.

Cat:
Loof-o-rama.

Well, this is the place.

( Door chime rings )

( Dinging... )

( Gasps )

May i help you?

Yes, i, um, well,
i came to sell my...

Hand over the luffa, bub.

( Crying ):
don't go!

don't leave me all alone,
please!

don't worry, cat.

I'm not going anywhere.

( Sobbing... )

( Cash register rings sale )

Aha.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, very good.

Where's Mr. luffa going?

( Sniffling ):
He's just going
on a little vacation

and he'll be home soon.

Wherever you go...

Whoever you clean,
don't forget me.

Someday I'll be back for you...

Someday.

Oh, that's what they all say.

Well, let's, um,
go to the mall.

Cat:
Boy, look at all these suckers

caught up in brothers day
hysteria, huh?

Good thing we decided
not to get each other gifts.

Yeah, boy, what a waste
of time and money.

Let's browse for useless stuff
at the useless mart.

( Stretching )

Women ( On P.A. ):
Attention, useless mart
shoppers:

There's a sale on fur sinks
in aisle five.

♪ Dog, oh, dog. ♪

dog!

Where are you?

Oh, there you are.

Come on, let's go.

( Clock ticking... )

( Brass band plays )

( Both yelling )

Good morning.

I just wanted to be the first

to wish my favorite
conjoined pair

a most happy brothers day.

Too bad youse two didn't have
enough money to buy gifts

totally ruining
your holiday.

Well, i did manage
to scrape together

some funds to surprise cat.

Stop it. You didn't!

I did!

Happy brothers day, cat!

Huh?

Oh, no, what a setback.

You know, i wasn't exactly
asleep at the wheel, either.

Happy brothers day,
dog!

Hot diggity dog.

Oh, frilly underwear.

Where?

Oh, this, no.

Well, not exactly.

I mean, well see,
i just figured

you'd like a mud wrestling
uniform, just like the pros.

Ah, what a funny coincidence.

I sold all the mud
to buy your gift!

You did?

This is great.

And i got you a special
protective carrying case

for your luffa.

For my... but i sold Mr. luffa
to buy your gift.

( Camera whirring )

Tragedy.

The gift that keeps on giving.

This is great, cat.

'Cause then i sold
the luffa carrying case

and got you a
wrestling uniform, too.

Because, because,
you know why?

I looked up the recipe for mud,
and it's really easy to make.

We both gave up our most
favorite possessions

for each other.

Get off me.

Oh, barf-a-roni.

You guys make me

( coughs )
Nauseous.

Nauseous?

We'll show you nauseous.

Hey, dog?

How about a little tag team...

...wrestling?
Wrestling!

No, no. Let's just keep cool,
fellows, huh?

Hey, take my wallet.

I don't want any trouble.

( Cat screeching;
Dog barking )

Winslow:
No, hey,
here's some catdog nip.

Hey, settle down.

Oh, take my credit cards.
Ow! Ow!

Dog:
Looks like curtains
for the little blue guy!

♪ One fine day
with a woof and a purr ♪

♪ a baby was born
and it caused a little stir ♪

♪ no blue bug
and no three-eyed frog ♪

♪ just a feline, canine ♪

♪ little catdog ♪

♪ catdog... catdog... ♪

♪ alone in the world
was a little catdog ♪

♪ out on the road
or back in town ♪

♪ all kind of critters
putting catdog down ♪

♪ got to rise above it,
got to try to get along ♪

♪ got to walk together,
got to sing this song ♪

♪ catdog... catdog... ♪

♪ alone in the world
was a little catdog... ♪

♪ Alone in the world
was a little catdog. ♪