01x09 - Squirrel Dog/Brother's Day

[bunniefuu]

♪ One fine day
with a woof and a purr ♪

♪ a baby was born
and it caused a little stir ♪

♪ no blue bug
and no three-eyed frog ♪

♪ just a feline, canine,
little catdog ♪

♪ catdog... catdog... ♪

♪ alone in the world
was a little catdog ♪

♪ out on the road
or back in town ♪

♪ all kind of critters
putting catdog down ♪

♪ got to rise above it,
got to try to get along ♪

♪ got to walk together,
got to sing this song ♪

♪ catdog... catdog... ♪

♪ alone in the world
was a little catdog ♪

♪ catdog... catdog... ♪

♪ alone in the world
was a little catdog. ♪

( Birds twittering )

Mmm, mmm.

( Creatures screaming )

Hmph.

( Loudly sniffing )

Have you ever seen a more
beautiful garden?

No, but i tasted better.

Will you stop!

Finders, keepers.

don't worry, cat.

I'll... get him!

I don't think
you have...

Cat:
It's entirely unnecessary.

Down, boy, down.
Heel!

I scared him off.

Your garden is a happy,
happy place once more.

Huh?

( Cat groans )

( Whimpering )

Happy?

Happy?!

( Grumbling with fury )

You wrecked it!

You destroyed it!

You have something
in your nose.

Oh, stand back.

Diamonds!

( Gulps, giggles )

Dog, we're sitting
on a gold mine here

and it's full
of diamonds.

( Gasps )
Ooh, shiny.

Cat ( Echoing ):
Let's dig.

( Pickaxes clanking )

( Yelling with delight... )

( Scale squeaks )

( Yelling ):
Eureka!

This is terrific, cat!

You don't have to tell me,
buddy boy.

These diamonds are going
to put us on easy street!

( Gasps )
But, cat...

You mean you're going to sell
these diamonds?

Of course.

What are you going to do,
play with them?

What else?
They're fun!

( Chuckles idiotically )

Fun, fun.

Fun, fun.

Cool.

I see many grumpy kitty cats.

You want to play
with yours

that's just peachy!

But what i find,
I'm cashing in.

Ooh...
You'll fetch me
a pretty penny.

don't worry, my sparkly friends.

No mean old cat is ever
going to sell you.

Hey, from now on,
it's every cat...

And dog...

Both:
For himself.

( Snickers )

( Shrill wind blowing... )

( Pickaxes clanking )

( Cat grunting )

Yes.

The deeper i get,
the diamonder i better.

( Giggles )

Must have more!

( Laughs crazily )

( Grunts )

Look, Joey, i found you
a sparkly new playmate

and there's plenty
more on the way.

( Angrily ):
What's that supposed to mean?

I was talking to Joey,
you big eavesdropper.

Just keep your hands off
my merchandise, you hear?

I'm watching you.

Yeah, well, you can watch me
go to sleep.

Hey, I'm missing a diamond.

Sure you didn't sell it,
Mr. greedy.

( Crazed ):
I'm sure somebody stole it.

Oh, you're crazy.

Good night, Joey.

Good night, Johnny.

Keep warm.

Good night, Dee-Dee,
hope, hester...

I'm wise to all of you.

I'm wise to your tricks.

Nobody pulls the diamonds
over cat's eyes, see?

You got to get up pretty early
in the late afternoon

to fool this particular cat.

Nighty-night.

( Snoring... )

( Grumbling )

Sleep, yeah.

I'm keeping my eye
on you, hound boy.

Good morning, Regis.

Good morning, Kathy Lee.

Good morning, shemp.

Good morning...
( Gasps )

( Screaming ):
No!

What, what, what?

You stole Joey.

I didn't steal your stupid Joey.

Joey's not stupid,
he's stolen!
( Gagging )

Give him back,
you napping
diamond-napper.

Take your paws
off of me.

Make me.

( Issues karate yell )

( Grunting )

( Gulps )

( Chuckles evilly )

( Swallows loudly )

( Growling )

( Screeching )
( Growling )

( Both gasp )

You!

Dog:
Him!

Not us!

Finders, keepers.

Get him.

Cat:
Never mind.

Well, that's the whole
kit and caboodle.

Let's skedoodle.

I can't wait to have
a shave and a shower.

You know something, dog?

We learned a valuable
lesson today.

Never let greed get in the way
of friendship because...

I want that diamond,
for me, only me.

No one else, it's mine!

( Dog yelling )

( Both grunting... )

I saw it first!

It's mine,
i tell you!

( Both yelling )

( Coughing )

They're gone.

All my precious
diamonds.

( Sobbing )

Well, at least
we're alive

and in one piece.

don't rub it in.

( Sobbing hysterically )

Look, cat!

It's Joey.

Joey, yes.

And maybe Joey
can buy me

some new equipment
so i can go back down...

( Crunches loudly, gulps )

Nothing like a nice piece of
rock candy after a day's work.

( Screeches )

He ate Joey!

Wait, wait,
hold it!

Wait a minute.

What do you mean
"rock candy"?

What did you think you were
digging up, diamonds?

Two heads,
no brain.

Nit and wit.

I can't believe it.

I went through all
this for...

( Yelling ):
Rock candy!

I love rock candy

let's go find
some more!

No, i don't want to.

No, i hate rock candy!

Dog:
What are you talking about?

don't knock the rock candy,
daddy-o.

"Daddy-o?"
It's full of
vitamin "k".

Cat:
No, it isn't.

Dog:
Some candy melts in your mouth,
it's gone in a second.

Cat:
I don't care!

Dog:
This kind lasts all day

and all the next night...

Cat:
It tastes like rocks!

( Catdog arguing... )

( Tires squealing,
metal banging... )

( Horn honking )

Cat:
Whoa!

( Crash )

Dog:
♪ egg shells
and coffee grinds ♪

♪ old meat and lemon rinds. ♪

( gobbling )

♪ La, la, la, la, la... ♪

♪ la, la... ♪

( sighs )

Another perfect morning.

( Squeaking, whimpering )

Oh...

( Groans )

Look, cat.

Aw, it's a poor
little baby.

Can we take him home, cat?

What?

I'll nurse him

and love him and
care for him and...

No, no,
absolutely not, dog.

Look it, it's
a filthy, dirty roach.

They're, they're germ-riddled

and they, they
breed disease.

( Pitifully ):
Oh...

( Squeaking )

Just till it's
better... please?

N-o, and that is fin-al.

You can beg and plead

till the sun goes down
and i won't change my mind.

Please, oh, please,
please, please

with sprinkles on top
and a cherry

and beef lemon
chicken kibbles

and shellfish jerky

and many balls of yarn
and mouse burgers

and everything else that
you like on top of it?

All right, dog.

According to this,
a busted roach leg takes

seven days to heal.

One week
and he's out of here.

Dog:
Okay, come to papa.

( Squeaking, whimpering )

Come on.

Put one foot in front
of the other foot...

And the other foot

and the other foot.

( Glass breaks )

( Giggling )

Wow, you see that, cat?

He came right to me.

Yeah, that's swell.

Now let's send him right
back to the dump.

Well, i want to keep him.

Let's keep him
at the dump.

No. As my special pet

i will love him
and play with him

and teach him
funny tricks.

No, no, no,
wait a minute.

We had a deal.

There is no way you're keeping
a roach in our...

My prized possession:

A lamb chop from .

Here, boy.

Come on.

Double reverse somersault.

Loop the loop.

( Groans in disgust )

Well, well, well,
senor gato.

Looks like you got
a roach problem.

You're telling me.

Dog won't get rid
of the thing.

So why don't you
do it yourself...

If you catch my drift?

( Scoffs )

That is totally evil,
nasty and fiendish.

♪ La-la! ♪

( munching )

( Burps )

( Snickers )

Now, that's
one talented roach.

( Yawning )

Oh...

Uh... ugh... get it off me!

Good morning,
roach.

How are you today?

Oh, i think it is disgusting
to allow that cockroach

to sleep in our bed.

( Shouts )

What's this?

don't you know, cat?

Roaches shed their skins
times a hour--

it's etymology.

( Gulps disgustedly )

Dog:
Shed, boy, shed.

Come on,
shed for papa.

( Chortling )

Look at him go.

( Stomach gurgling )

( Gulps )

I can't take it anymore.

( Stomach rumbling, whimpering )

Pst!
Huh?

Hey, cat.

I got the answer
to all your problems.

"X-Terminator , kills
and destroys household pests..."

Dead.

An acquaintance of mine used it

to get rid
of a pesky in-law problem.

That's the most ruthless,
cunning, malicious thing

I've ever heard of.

( Squeaking )
( Laughing )

I'll do it.

( Zapping, humming )

( Cackling )

My creation!

( Machine hums, stops )

Great. Where am i going to find
another one of these?

( Snoring )

( Still snoring... )

Well, this should do nicely.

( Grunting )

Come on.

Whoa!

( Squeaking emphatically )

Huh... what?

Roachie!

What is it, boy?

( Squeaking... )

Something's the matter
with who?

( Squeaking... )

Sounds like...

Sounds like a....
Big, big, wooden implement?

Sounds like derby?

( Frustrated squeaking )

Cat?

Where is he, boy?

Take me to him,
take me to him!

( Shouts )

I'll save you, cat!

( Panting )

Thanks, dog.

Oh, it was roachie
who saved you.

Oh! Oh, thank you roach!

Thank you, oh...

Oh...

Oh, look, dog,
I've got a confession.

I never liked roach

and i.... i feel like
such a heel.

I guess
you'll never forgive me.

( Squeaking happily )

Well, if he does,
then i guess i do, too.

Robot:
Exterminate and destroy.

Oh, yeah.

I forgot to mention
the x-terminate robot.

You forgot?

Exterminate and destroy.

Destroy, destroy.

( Catdog shouting )

Exterminate and destroy.

( Catdog shouting... )

Exterminate and destroy.

He's got us cornered, cat.

We'll never get away.

Dog:
There's just
one more chance.

I'm going in.

And if i don't come back

think of me now and again.

Good luck, cat.

( Kisses loudly )

Okay, thanks, fine.

( Slowing down ):
Exterminate and... destroy.

( Power stops )

You did it, cat.

Isn't it great,
roachie?

Now nothing can keep us

from being one, big happy,
nuclear family.

( Squeaking mournfully )

Gee, dog.

I think the little fellow's
homesick.

Oh.

Here you go, fellow.

You sure this is
what you want?

( Squeaking joyously )

( Wolf whistles )

Bye-bye!

Oh...

I'll never forget you,
roachie.

( Sniffs )

What?

I just have something
in my eye.

This place is sure going
to seem empty without roachie.

Exterminate and destroy...

Catdog.

Did he...?
Huh?

What did he...

That's us!

( Yelping, screaming... )

( Snickering )

Finally got rid
of that pesky catdog problem.

( Cackling... )

♪ One fine day
with a woof and a purr ♪

♪ a baby was born
and it caused a little stir ♪

♪ no blue bug
and no three-eyed frog ♪

♪ just a feline, canine ♪

♪ little catdog ♪

♪ catdog... catdog... ♪

♪ alone in the world
was a little catdog ♪

♪ out on the road
or back in town ♪

♪ all kind of critters
putting catdog down ♪

♪ got to rise above it,
got to try to get along ♪

♪ got to walk together,
got to sing this song ♪

♪ catdog... catdog... ♪

♪ alone in the world
was a little catdog... ♪

♪ Alone in the world
was a little catdog. ♪