01x14 - Nightmare/CatDogPig

[bunniefuu]

♪ One fine day
with a woof and a purr ♪

♪ a baby was born
and it caused a little stir ♪

♪ no blue bug
and no three-eyed frog ♪

♪ just a feline, canine,
little catdog ♪

♪ catdog... catdog... ♪

♪ alone in the world
was a little catdog ♪

♪ out on the road
or back in town ♪

♪ all kind of critters
putting catdog down ♪

♪ got to rise above it,
got to try to get along ♪

♪ got to walk together,
got to sing this song ♪

♪ catdog... catdog... ♪

♪ alone in the world
was a little catdog ♪

♪ catdog... catdog... ♪

♪ alone in the world
was a little catdog. ♪

( Cooing )

( Car horn honks )

( Cat stammering )

Wha-wha-wha-wha...

Easy does it, easy, easy.

( Yowling )

Aw! Ooh-hoo!

( Birds shrieking )

Dog, you're going to k*ll me--
please.

( Bird shrieks, dog barks )

Dog:
Chicken! Chicken! Chicken!

( Cat yowls )

Chicken! Chicken!

Chicken!

( Cat screams )

( Yowls )

( Sputters )

( Dryer blowing... )

( Slot machine bells ringing )

Oh-oh-oh!

( Screaming )

( Bird calling )

( Cat screams )

( Crashing )

( One gulp )

Hmm... tastes
just like pigeon.

( Bird shrieks )

( Gasps )

You know, dog,
it's a good thing

i have nine lives.

Otherwise,
i wouldn't survive

all the abuse
you put me through.

Yeah, i love
having nine lives.

Cats have nine lives.

You have only one.

Yeah, i only have one life.

I have one life?!

Mm-hmm.

You need to be
more careful.

You'll live longer,
and I'll live better.

As in... less
painfully.

( Boots land )

You're right, cat.

I do need to be more careful.

How do i do that?

Well, my dog, you've
come to the right cat.

Now, watch and learn.

And remember, the more
safety conscious you are

the less battered I'll be.

TV announcer:
How to be safe

in an unsafe world

with safety Sammy.

Hi, kids, I'm safety Sammy.

The world is not your friend.

There is danger lurking
around every corner.

( Screams )

( Whimpering )

Sammy:
Ready, set...

Go!

( expl*si*n, screeching )

Ow-ee!

( Metallic snapping )

Avoid sharp objects.

( Growling )

( Blades clang )

Ow-ee!

Ow-ee!

( Quivering ):
Very scary danger.

And be careful of what you eat.

( Buzzing )

( Swallows )

( Yelps )

( Coughs )

Yucky!

So always remember

to look before you leap.

Ow-ee!

( Big crash )

Yikes!

Gee, cat, i never realized

how unsafe every single thing
in the universe can be.

You betcha, little mister.

( Snoring
restlessly )

( Snoring peacefully )

( Moans )

Owee.

( Clanging
and growling... )

Ow-ee!

( Scissors clanging
and growling... )

Ow-ee!

( Birds chirping outside... )

( Sighs contentedly )

( Dog whimpers )

( Teeth chatter )

Is it safe to get out of bed,
cat?

Well, um, sure, dog.

Nice hat.

You can't be too careful, cat.

Danger lurks
around every corner.

Right you are, dog.

( Whimpering... )

( Grunting )

Ow... ow...

Pointy!

Always avoid sharp objects.

( Glass breaks )

( Slurps )

( Gagging... )

Well, at least with your new
safety conscious lifestyle

i can watch TV in peace.

( Electrical sizzle )

Ee...

( Howls )

Oh, oh, oh...

Now, where is
that remote control?

I put it
in the desk drawer.

Did you know an exposed
TV remote control

can emit . billion harmful
gamma rays per cubic second?

Oh, that's terrific, dog.

Oop!

You opened
the drawer too fast.

Did you know that two
out of three fatal accidents

happen in the home?

If you don't watch it,
you'll be the third.

( Alarm begins to wail )

What's that?

Computer:
Step away from the dog.

Step away from the dog.

( Alarm wails )

Okay, Mr. safety conscious,
i won't eat.

I won't watch TV.

I won't touch you.

I'll just sit here
as safe as safe can be

relax...

And drink a soda.

( Gravelly voice ):
Cat, no!

The bubbles
might get fizzy

and explode
inside my stomach!

( Belching )

Dog, all this safety
is k*lling me!

But you said
safety was a good thing.

Yes, it is.

But this isn't safety,
it's insanity.

Not everything is dangerous!

Easy for you to say,
you have nine lives.

I only have one life.

One life.

( Sobbing )

But tha... that's exactly right.

And that's why

you should
live it to the fullest.

( Happily ):
I should?

But i thought...

Yes!

D-don't think.

Just come outside

into the fresh air
and I'll show you.

Um... okay, cat.

Just one second.

( Door opens )

( Something crashes,
glass breaks )

( Air hissing )

( Gasps )

Now, look.

The sun won't hurt.

It won't burn you
to a blackened crisp.

Uh, I'm not sure
about this, cat.

Oh, dog, come on, come on.

You can do it.

I'm outside.

Nothing dangerous
is happening to me.

It will! It will!

There are , known airborne
pathogens in every breath.

( Yelling )

Cat, i don't think
this is a good idea.

Safety Sammy says...

Who cares
what stupid Sammy says?

Let's skate!

Now, look at me.

I don't even know how to skate,
and I'm not getting hurt.

( Gasps )

( Dog yowls )

( Dog continues yowling )

( Balloon pops )

( Yowling )

Oh, come on, dog.

Suck in the air.

Suck the thrill of life.

( Gasping )

It's okay, dog.

Look, look, look.

I'm not hurt.

You won't be, either.

There's nothing to worry about.

Cat, look out!

What?

Cat:
Oh...

( Cars honking )

( Both screaming )

( Car honks )

See, dog... i-i-isn't this
the g-greatest?

( Cars honk )

( Tires squeal,
glass breaks )

No, it's the worstest.

Make it stop.

( Both yowl )

Danger!

Danger, danger, danger.

Everything's dangerous.

Oh, it's not danger, it's....

It's fun!

( Laughs hysterically )

No, not fun,
it's not fun!

Wa-wa-wah!

( Both screaming )

It's kind of fun.

Oh!

( Yowling )

Oh!

( Whimpering )

Dog:
We're getting there.

( Cat yowls )

( Roaring )

Even more fun
than that.

Cat:
Whoa-oh-oh!

( Clanging )

A lot of fun.

Whee!

( Roaring )

( Teeth snap )

Cat:
Hoo-hoo!

( Clanging )

( Panting )

( Shouting )

Hi-ho diggity!

Cat:
Wha-wha-wha-what?!

I'm alive!

Wha-wha-what?

Dog:
I'm alive, baby!

I'm still alive!

Dog:
Ooh-hoo-hoo!

( Cat babbles, gurgles )

( Laughter )

( Cat shrieks ):
Where's safety Sammy

when you need him?

Cat:
A cat's work is never done.

Oh, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog.

How many times do
i have to tell you

to wipe your paws
before you come inside?

Um... ?

Now you listen here,
little mister

drag your sorry keister
to the bathroom
this instant

and wash
those tootsies.

Um... do i have to?

( Snorting ):
Dog, as long as you live
in my house

you'll live by my rules.

Oh, cat... your house?!

We both live here.

But i take care
of everything
in it

including you!

You're like a little puppy.

I clean up after you and cook.

I even knit
your clothes.

I am not a little puppy!

Am not, am not,
am not, am not, am not!

Uh, you couldn't survive
one day without me.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah!

( Both growling )

I'll show you.

I'm leaving!

( Cat grunts )

Could you
pack my bags?

( Chuckles )

( Gasps )
No, I'll pack them myself!

Well, you won't
get very far.

Do you hear me?

You'll come crawling back!

You need me!

( Grunting )

Do not, do not, do not!

( Grunting )

Fine.

I don't need you, either.

( Grunting, gagging )

( Chattering )

( Chirruping )

( Car squeaking )

( Grunting )

Wow, wow, wow.

Life on the open road.

I can do what i want,
when i want

and no one's holding me back!

( Groans )

( Sighs )
This is the life.

No dog around and i can spend
my precious time

doing things i enjoy.

( Salsa music playing )

( Sighs )

Ole! Arriba!

Ooh, Chimichanga.

( Camera clicks )

( Chortles )

Yo, twinkle toes, where's dog?

Ha, dog's run away.

Good riddance,
if you ask me.

Why don't you
do the same?

Can't you see
I'm busy?

Yeah.

Hasta Luigi,
senorita.

( Grunts )

Thank you,
Mr. truck driver guy.

( Grunting ):
Hi-ho diggity.

Life in the big city.

( Whistling, yelps )

( Both yelping )

( All yelping )

( Grunting )

Dinner!

( Humming )

( Loud slurping )

( Squawking )

( Car honks )

Wow, what a happy day!

And cat said i couldn't make it
on my own.

( Giggling )

Let's get wild
and crazy without dog.

( Giggling )

Oh my.

I'd better calm down

or the cops will bust
this party up.

( Chortling )
Ooh...

( Whimpering )

( Thunder booming )

I wish i had that toasty hat
and scarf cat made for me.

Hi.

Why, you snot-nosed rutkin.

Get out of here!
Go on home.

I can make it on my own.

I can make it on my own.

I can make... i miss cat.

( Sobbing ):
I want to go home.

But which way is home?

Spare a bone? No?

Spare a bone? No?

Can you spare a bone? No?

Hey, you.

Yeah, you.

You want a job?

Sure.

Come on in.

( Chuckling )

( Talking in sleep ):
Dog, dog.

Where are you, dog?

Come home, dog...
Oh!

Oh, hey, dog.

I just had the strangest dream.

Our body stretched out across...

That was no dream.

Dog's been gone
for over a week.

Oh, yeah.

But don't worry.

He can take care of himself.

Dog's a perfectly
competent individual.

( Sobbing ):
Oh, what have i done?

What have i done, winslow?

( Yelling ):
We've got to find dog!

( Both howling )

( Cat groans )

Come on, what are you
waiting for?

Uh... i... can't swim.

It's a cat thing.

It's a wimp thing
if you ask me.

Dive in.

( Gasps )

I've got a
better idea.

Come here.
Whoa!
No, no!

( Grumbling )

What are you doing,
you sicko?

( Grumbling )

Okay, okay.

I'll find dog.

But when i get back

you'll wish
you ran away from home.

( Groaning )

Hairballs, halitosis.

( Dog panting )

Rancid rabbit:
Faster. Sweat, sweat.

This isn't called rancid's
sweat shop for nothing.

( Whimpering )

( Grunting )

( Dog panting )

I got big plans
for you.

( Gulping )

Hey, the light
at the end of the catdog.

( Burping )

Wow.

Winslow?

Where did you come from?

Man, the slimiest place
on earth.

Hey, nice digs, dog.

( Phone rings )
Yeah, thanks.

Hold all calls.

I was such
a good sweater

they gave me
a promotion

a big office,
a small secretary.

And a medium-sized
gold watch.

Say, pretty sweet scam
you got going here.

Cat's nuts if he thinks

you'll give all this up
to come home.

Cat wants me to come home?!

Yeah, but he can
keep dreaming.

We got all we need
right here.

Cat wants me back!

Cat wants me back!

Cat wants me back!

I still don't know
how to get home.

Huh?
( Howling )

Oh, diggity!

Oh, this is the only way
to travel!

I'm getting frequent flyer
miles.

( Garbled yelling )

So then the little fellow left.

Gone.

Probably forever.

Like, can i go now?

Hey, hey,
what's the rush?

Here, have
another fudge bar.

Yeah, oh, yeah,
here you go.

Now where was i?

Oh, yeah.

He was gone...

What?

( Rumbling )

( Gasping )

( Yelling )

( Both yelling )

( Loud crash )

You really want me back, cat?

Well, i, uh...

Dog, you didn't
wipe your feet

before you came
into the house!

( Chuckling ):
I'm sorry, cat.

Same old cat.

I knew you'd come
snapping back.

You were right, cat.

I couldn't make it
without you.

I will miss my
high paying job

and that little
secretary, though.

( Chuckling )

What?

What the hey?
I don't work here.

Hey!
What are you doing?

Turn this thing off.

Jane, get me off
this crazy thing.

Where's my corner office?

Where's my small secretary?

♪ One fine day
with a woof and a purr ♪

♪ a baby was born
and it caused a little stir ♪

♪ no blue bug
and no three-eyed frog ♪

♪ just a feline, canine ♪

♪ little catdog ♪

♪ catdog... catdog... ♪

♪ alone in the world
was a little catdog ♪

♪ out on the road
or back in town ♪

♪ all kind of critters
putting catdog down ♪

♪ got to rise above it,
got to try to get along ♪

♪ got to walk together,
got to sing this song ♪

♪ catdog... catdog... ♪

♪ alone in the world
was a little catdog... ♪

♪ Alone in the world
was a little catdog. ♪