01x17 - Home Is Where the Dirt Is/New Leash on Life

[bunniefuu]

♪ One fine day
with a woof and a purr ♪

♪ a baby was born
and it caused a little stir ♪

♪ no blue bug
and no three-eyed frog ♪

♪ just a feline, canine,
little catdog ♪

♪ catdog... catdog... ♪

♪ alone in the world
was a little catdog ♪

♪ out on the road
or back in town ♪

♪ all kind of critters
putting catdog down ♪

♪ got to rise above it,
got to try to get along ♪

♪ got to walk together,
got to sing this song ♪

♪ catdog... catdog... ♪

♪ alone in the world
was a little catdog ♪

♪ catdog... catdog... ♪

♪ alone in the world
was a little catdog. ♪

Cat...

Could you pass me one of
my delicious and nutritious

farburg burger bones, please?

Mmm...

No, you're all out.

Out?

They're all gone?

No more?

Burger bone,
burger, burger, burger bone!

( Glass breaks, cat yowls )

Burger bone!

Burger, burger bone...

Cat:
Ow! Ooh!

Burger bone, burger bone...

Burger, burger bone.

( Cans clattering )

( Cat yowls )

Sorry, bowser.

No more farburg burger bones
will be sold here in nearburg.

Bu-bu-but why?

Farburg's making
all the money

and nearburg isn't.

From now on,
anything you buy in nearburg

must be made in nearburg.

You get caught
with one of these...

Busted.

( Gasps )

But that's not fair.

Get a hold of
yourself, dog.

They're just stupid
burger bones.

No, they're not!

They're farburg
burger bones!

The finest, bestest,
tastiestest burger bones

ever invented in the world.

( Crowd chanting )

We want our bones,
we want our bones!

We want our bones, we want
our bones!

We want our bones...

don't ban the bone!

Free the burger bones!

See, cat.

Every dog in town
loves burger bones.

Hmm.

Dog ( Nasally ):
Cat, what are we doing

on a lonely road
in the middle of the night

with a truck
full of farburg burger bones?

Cat:
Like i told you before

we buy farburg burger bones
in farburg

sneak then into nearburg

and sell them to desperate dogs
at top dollar.

But what if somebody catches us
out here?

( Siren wails )

Act normal.

Hi. Can i help you, officer-type
person with big, shiny badge?

Nice man, hello.

Are you making fun
of the way i talk?

No, sir.

What's in the truck,
furball?

Well, there's certainly no
farburg burger bones.

That's for sure.

( Laughs nervously )

Well then, let's just take
a little look-see, shall we?

Oh, he's going to arrest us.

Relax, cat's got the situation
in control.

( Gasps )

P.U., this smells like...

Exactly!

We're on our way to a...

A fertilizer festival.

Well, get going.

Quickly.

Out, out, out.

( Coughs )

( Cat chortles )

Dog, this is the beginning

of a beautiful business.

How long till we get
to the fertilizer festival?

You and your surprises.

( Owl hoots )

Man:
What's the password?

Uh... catdog sent me.

Welcome to the bonehouse.

( Soft chatter )

( Chanteuse singing )

♪ I was just a dog ♪

♪ and so was he ♪

♪ so why wouldn't
the dog catcher
just let us be? ♪

♪ do you need a license? ♪

♪ a license for love? ♪

one farburg burger bone.

Five big ones.

Five bucks-- i used to pay
a buck for a whole box.

Hey, times have changed,
my furry friend.

Dog, you're supposed to be
working, not eating.

Sorry, cat.

( Gulps )

You can't eat just one.

( Snoring )

( Banging )

Hey, catbutt sent us.

Sorry,
that's not the password.

How's that for a password?

( Snickers )

Welcome to the bonehouse.

Let's see, greasers, greasers,
greasers?

No, I'm sorry i, i don't seem
to find your name here.

No reservation,
no table.

( Angry yipping )

Cliff:
Meal's over.

( Big crash )

I found a table.

Three burger bones,
and make it snappy.

Ten bucks a bone?

Take it, or don't eat it.

( Winslow laughs snidely )

( Jingles a coin )

Say, you got a sweet
operation here, big cat.

Out of my way, I'm busy.

But you're going to need
some muscle around here.

Just cut me in for %
and I'll keep away the riffraff.

Take a hike, blue boy.

Wh-wh-wh...

You're going to live
to regret that, pussycat.

( Phone ringing )

( Prisoner screaming )

Stool pigeon hot-line.

You squeal, we deal.

Yeah, i know a cat who's doing
some dirty business.

( Playing ragtime rock... )

Tomorrow we raise the price
again.

bucks a bone.

( Dog slurps )

Hey, bone-vacuum,
leave some for the customers.

You know, the paying customers.

We got plenty.

( Sirens wailing )

Catdog sent me.

Raid.

( Customers scream )

You know the drill!

( Banging )

Ow.

( Crashing )

( Cat clears throat )

The nearburg poetry club
will now come to order.

Roses are red,
violets are purple.

Sugar is sweet,
and so is maple syrple.

( Polite applause )

I'll get you one day, punk.

Good luck, copper.

And this time i am making fun

( mimicking cop ):
Of the way you talk.

( Audience roars with laughter )

Somebody squealed...

( Munching )

And i smell a blue rodent.

Sunshine,
go get a bag of cement.

( Gurgling ):
You're going to pay for this,
cat!

( All shouting for bones )

Be right back,
fellows.

With some more of those
super-duper

delicious burger bones.

You know, from farburg.

( Munching and slurping )

What the heck are you doing?

( Deep belch )

Just having a little
snacky-poo-poo.

( Gasping )

I've got a packed club
out there

and you just ate
all our merchandise!

All you care about
is making money.

You're materialistical.

All you care about is making
a pig out of yourself!

I only eat
when I'm hungry.

Yeah, hours a day.

Do not.

You do too.
Do not.

You do too.

( Yelling at each other... )

What's the matter with you?

Where are my farburg
burger bones?

Dag nabbit.

( Crowd chants )

We want our bones!

Um, a new shipment
is coming soon.

We want our bones,
we want our bones!

A new place in town
just opened up.

They got burger bones
by the barrel-full-- cheap.

Let's blow this pop stand.

Man:
Hey, scram.

( Barking and yapping )

Welcome to winslow's place.

Step right in, folks.

Plenty of room.

Farburg burger bones
at a buck a bone.

Keep coming.

Step right up.

What do you think
you're doing?

I'm going to get some
more burger bones.

Oh, really?
( Sirens wailing )

Hey, officer,
arrest that dirty rat.

He's selling farburg
burger bones!

I don't see a thing.

Winchester:
Oh, and, uh, cat...

Meet the bouncers.

( Muttering madly )

( Grumbling )

Cat:
Hey, now, now, now...

( Cat and dog shouting )

( Wheezing and panting )

Welcome to the nearburg
library's annual book sale

and pie-eating contest.

Contestants, take your seats.

Hi-ho diggity, cat.

I hope we win.

Oh, piece of cake,
buddy boy.

You just got to scarf down a
couple dozen of those pecan pies

and that gorgeous,
super-deluxe wide-screen TV

will be all mine--
ours.

( Panting )

Just smell that aroma, dog.

Aromatic, isn't it?

You hungry, boy,
huh, huh?

You're a lean, mean,
eating machine.

On your marks

get set...

Bongo!

...go.

It appears we have a winner.

I can't wait
to hook this baby up!

( Whines, burps )

I don't feel so good, cat.

Huh?

Oh, you will

once you feast your eyes

on those , lines
of resolution.

Colors?

Of course it's color.

Fabulous, vibrant, living color!

Dog?
Cat?

Help me.

Aha...Mmm...
No fever.

( Moaning )

No blockage.

( Moaning )

Reflex is good.

Had he eaten
any strange food lately?

Has he...

Well, uh, well, let's see:

Garbage, uh, old tires,
uh, garbage

rotten, fetid, putrid meat
and garbage.

I had some pecan pie.

Leaping lumbago!

Pooches can't eat pecans.

It gives them pecanitis!

( Gasps )

Pecanitis?!

Uh-huh.

But don't worry.

It's not dangerous.

Just weird.

Affects all dogs differently.

No treatment for it.

Just got to wait
till it goes away.

Well, that's perfect.

Did you hear that, dog?

Everything's going
to be just fine.

Oh, says you.

You haven't seen my bill.

( Gasps )

We can't pay this!

That, uh, your wide-screen TV?

Thanks, dog.

You just cost me a brand-new TV.

You just had to get pecanitis.

( Gasps )

Cat, cat!

My head!

It's sprouting!

Yeah, yeah, fine.

don't be such a baby.

You heard doc rancid.

Pecanitis isn't serious.

But...
But what if someone sees me?

They will laugh.

Nobody's going to laugh.

( Brakes screech )

( Everyone laughing )

Hey, let's go laugh.

( Brakes screech )

( Everyone
continues laughing... )

Look, mommy.

Yeah, it's one
of Santa's reindeer.

( Laughter continues )

( Shouting incoherently )

I'm never, ever showing my head
in public again.

( Pecking... )

And you...

Get away from me,
get away from me!

Oh, look at this lousy TV.

( Moaning... )

What, whoa, whoa,
wait a minute, dog.

Hold still.

Say...

That's a much
better picture.

Just stay right there
and don't move.

I will not be an antenna
for your TV.

Well, excuse me, Mr. sensitive.

( Yowling, then crashing )

( Chain saw buzzing )

Dog, what... what are you doing?

( Wailing )

How do i look, cat?

Um... very nice.

Completely normal.

Uh-huh.

You know what?

Let's just get rid
of this nasty little
chain saw, shall we?

( Groaning... )

( Screams )

It's back!

Why is this happening?

I didn't even tell a lie.

( Yelping, then crashing )

I can't let anyone
see me like this.

Oh, no, don't look at me!

Oh, I'm a forest head!

Cat:
Easy! ( Laughing )

I'm a tree noggin.

Help me, cat.

Oh, don't laugh at me.

don't laugh at me
while i have a condition.

Sorry, dog.

What's so funny, cat?

What's all the ruckus?

Nothing, just being
the life of the party.

Oh, hey,
nice hairdo, dog.

Who's your hairdresser,
Paul bunyan?

Paul bunyan!

( Laughs )

That's a good one.

Yeah, i know.

Hey, dog,
how about a trim?

I need the firewood.

He needs the firewood!

He needs the...
Whoa, you're k*lling me.

I will not stand
for this humiliation.

( Chuckles )

Oh, relax, dog.

We're not laughing at you.

We're...
We're laughing with you.

No, you're not,
because I'm not laughing!

( Laughing )

Hey, cat, this is too good.

You ought to sell tickets.

Tickets, yeah, right, i should.

Say... hmm.

"Live on stage.

Come see the amazing,
tree-headed dog."

Oh, i got to check that out.

( Laughs )

Winslow:
Get them while we got them,
folks.

Only a couple of seats left.

Step right up.

Keep coming.

Time to shake that money tree,
doggy boy.

I won't do it.

I'm not going out there.

don't be ridiculous.

And a little piece of the action
for myself.

( Chuckles )

don't you want that beautiful,
giant new TV?

( Moaning )

Is a new TV worth more to you
than my feelings?

( Moaning )

It's got channels, dog.

( Yelling )

Five minutes, nutheads.

Let's go, dog.

Your public awaits.

No, it can't be.

The pecanitis
is going away.

Hi-ho diggity!

No-ho diggity!

How dare you get better
at a time like this?!

A packed house
is waiting for
a horticultural oddity.

They'll riot!

Or worse--
they'll demand a refund!

Ooh, pecan pie.

( Snoring )

Cat, what are you...?

Just eat, dog.

Eat.

Eat like the wind!

Come on, baby.

Come on.

Mutate, will you?

Just grow.

Just...

( Wails )

It's show time, gents.

What's the entertainment stall?

I paid to see freaks.

I want to see freaks
and lots of them.

Let's see the tree-headed pooch.

We want a show,
we want a show.

All right, all right.

Pipe down, you mooks.

What you're about to see

is going to thrill and amaze you

not to mention
turn a few stomachs.

I give you
the amazing tree-headed dog.

( Booing, complaining )

I want my money back.

That freak's
a totally normal freak.

( Booing, hissing )

Come on, cat.

( Moaning )

( Audience grows silent )

Whoa, even better.

Make that the amazing
tree-headed cat!

( Laughing... )

It's okay, cat.

They're not laughing with you.

They're laughing at you.

Man:
Next on the gardening channel

clip those trees and shrubs
into cute critters and such.

Boy, this new wide-screen TV
is nifty-keen, huh, cat?

Yeah.

Terrific.

Just terrific.

Winslow:
Hey, cat,
you're really branching out!

♪ One fine day
with a woof and a purr ♪

♪ a baby was born
and it caused a little stir ♪

♪ no blue bug
and no three-eyed frog ♪

♪ just a feline, canine ♪

♪ little catdog ♪

♪ catdog... catdog... ♪

♪ alone in the world
was a little catdog ♪

♪ out on the road
or back in town ♪

♪ all kind of critters
putting catdog down ♪

♪ got to rise above it,
got to try to get along ♪

♪ got to walk together,
got to sing this song ♪

♪ catdog... catdog... ♪

♪ alone in the world
was a little catdog... ♪

♪ Alone in the world
was a little catdog. ♪