09x09 - Color Me Lonely

[bunniefuu]

[upbeat music]

Hey, sister.

[Khloe] Sister, come here.

What's my name?

Say "KoKo."

You want this?

Say "KoKo."

Say "KoKo." You said it already today.

Okay, have one taste
so you see how good it is, yeah.

-You want more?
-[coos]

Oh, you understand that?

Do you want this? Say my name.

[grunts, laughs]

Mm. And if I give you a little sprinkles?

[Khloe] You like that?

[laughs]

Say "KoKo."

Say "KoKo."

[Khloe]
Can you tell sister to say my name?

-I think I can't do it.
-[Khloe] You can't?

Can you just tell her to say my name
'cause she's not listening to me.

-Mama.
-You want some?

You want some?

-I see you're eating my yogurt.
-[Khloe] I'm hanging out with the kids.

I'm feeding your child.

-Can you say "KoKo"?
-You say "Stop eating my food."

Are you saying "Stop eating my food"?

-[Khloe] Yeah?
-[Khloe and Kourtney laugh]

[upbeat music]

-[Khloe] What kind of haircut do you want?
-[Bruce] I don't know.

I have not had a haircut
in probably a year and something.

-[Khloe] Shocker, right?
-Yeah, I see that.

-Yeah, can you tell that?
-[laughing]

I want to keep it long in the front
'cause I like wearing it in a ponytail,

and if you get it too short in the front,
you don't have a ponytail.

Wait, so we're not getting rid
of the ponytail? I thought…

No, we're not getting rid of the ponytail.

-That's fine.
-[Bruce] See? Thank you.

I would suggest layers.

-Long layers.
-[Philip] Long layers.

But where's it at now,
it's starting to kind of look like a bob,

-and it's just not…
-[Bruce] Yeah.

It doesn't know what it wants
to look like right now.

Yeah, it's not as flattering
as it could be, so…

-[Bruce] Yeah, maybe a half-inch or so.
-Are you gonna cry?

I feel like you're really, like,
this is hard for you to let go.

-Yeah.
-[Kourtney] I'm sure it is.

That's like when I grow out my eyebrows
and everyone begs me to tweeze them.

-[Kourtney] I end up doing it…
-That's the same?

Society or somebody else
is telling you to do it.

-Yeah.
-[Khloe] "Society," seriously?

It's Kris Jenner, not society.

-That's why you're cutting your hair.
-That's true. Well, that is true.

My mom is really adamant
that Bruce cut his ponytail off,

and I don't like the ponytail so I get it.

But it's also not my head.
It's Bruce's decision.

You watch him, Khloé,
that he's not taking too much off, okay?

-Okay.
-I can't see. I don't have a mirror.

[lively music]

-Want to go look in the mirror?
-[Bruce] Yeah, let's go check it out.

Hey!

-See? That looks good.
-It looks really good.

[Bruce] It's still long,
but it looks good.

-Good job, Philip.
-All right, you're welcome.

-Step one is done.
-I feel very cleaned up.

[Khloe] It looks exactly the same.

But he's feeling good about himself,

and if a ponytail makes Bruce happy
and smile every day,

rock on with your bad self, Bruce.

Bruce! How are you?

-[Bruce] Fine, babe, how are you doing?
-Hi!

-Tracey?
-[Tracey] Yes.

Do you have a vision?

I think that if we lighten this up,
I think…

-Kris will be happy.
-We'll be… I…

-We're not worried about Kris.
-[Kourtney] Look. Like, this is…

-We're worried about me.
-Look.

-Hi, guys.
-Oh, no, no, no, no…

You're not allowed here.

-[Kris] Did you get it cut?
-[Kourtney] Yeah.

-Yeah, we cut it.
-[Bruce] Yeah, I got it all cut off.

You weren't supposed to be here.

Oh, I came by for some highlights.
[chuckles]

[Bruce] Here I am, happy.

It seems to be going pretty good.
He didn't cut too much off.

And then Kris walks in.
Oh, man. She is very opinionated.

I had a good little thing
going over here, you know?

Don't mess it up.

[Tracey] First, I'm highlighting it.

[hair dryer whirring]

He looks like a baked potato.

[Tracey laughs]

It should… I think it should just be
more layered there on the sides.

Don't worry, honey, everything's fine.

Just because Bruce and I are separated

doesn't mean that I don't want him
to look and feel his best.

[hair dryer turns off]

The color's amazing.
The cut's a little crazy.

-[Tracey] It needs to be cut into, like…
-Let me… let me sleep on it.

-Promise?
-And then we'll go from there, yeah.

[Tracey] I'm about to get some scissors
right now and just do it.

[Kris] Tracey could just cut into it,
Bruce, so just…

-I didn't bring any scissors…
-[Kris] That was our deal.

No, you don't, Kris.

You don't have to, like, get
that freaky look on your face.

[Kris] We're just making it look good.

[Bruce] I'll be fine.

[Khloe] My mom and Bruce
definitely still bicker

like they're living under the same roof.
Bruce has been, you know,

doing things everyone else's way
for a really long time,

and I think he's just getting tired of it.

[Khloe] Well, it could be so cool.

-[Tracey] Yeah, no, I know.
-[Kris] There's no coolness about that.

It's like a hot mess.

[Kourtney] For you.

For you, my lady.

-Thank you.
-Made with 100 percent L-O-V-E.

-Yes.
-Okay?

-Question.
-[Kourtney] Mm? We had it…

Kendall and Kylie on Marie Claire,
you guys?

-It's so unreal.
-[Kourtney] No, it's so to die.

-They look like twins.
-They're so [bleep] cool.

Our, um, painting arrives tomorrow.

-Our lot… lottery ticket.
-Oh, god, this again?

Your lottery ticket?

It's a Modigliani. He's major.

We had the painting mailed
from Jeff and Bonnie's house

when we were there.

-If it's real, our lives are changing.
-[Scott] It's not.

After Scott's mom and dad passed away,

we were at their house going through
some items and organizing things.

There is this one painting
that I really think is real,

and so we decide to fly the art home
so that we can get it appraised.

It's for sure a copy.

There's no way my parents just had some…

-It looks… Maybe they did.
-…multi-multi-million dollar painting

-laying around the house.
-No, 'cause they didn't buy it themselves.

Your great-grandmother lived in a house

and when she bought the house,
they left their artwork there.

-Stop. Why would they leave that, though?
-And so…

Exactly, no one's leaving
a Modigliani around.

The last one at Sotheby's in London sold
for, like, 145 million.

If it is, you got to break me off a piece.

-[laughs]
-That would be so cool.

-We didn't just hit the lotto.
-Scott, what would happen if it was?

-I'm gonna pay off my house.
-Buy some furniture.

Buy some furniture. Maybe a bed.

Dear, let's just be honest.
This is not happening.

[Scott]
I really don't know a ton about art.

I do know that this artist is an extremely
famous artist if it's authentic.

But I also know,
for every authentic famous painter,

there's a trillion other people
that are copying them and selling them.

I am going to buy you
a private plane for Christmas.

-I don't want a private plane.
-Dude, don't be ridiculous.

We're not buying anyone a plane.

-[Kris] Hey, Bruce.
-Well, hey there.

What are you doing here?

[Bruce] I know Kendall's in New York,
but I thought Kylie was here.

I looked in the fridge
and there was a sandwich,

so I'm eating it, yeah.

You don't have any food at home?

I have food, I'm not starving,
but I didn't have much today.

Is this the first time
you're eating today?

[Bruce] Yeah.

You got to take care of yourself.
You're gonna get too thin.

Honey, I'm the exact same weight
I have always been.

-[Bruce] I'm fine.
-You're not fine.

You're over here eating
somebody else's tuna sandwich.

Actually, I really wanted
to come over and see Kylie.

[Bruce]
She's been really distant with me lately.

I tried to get her out
and go paddleboarding,

wouldn't come.

I texted her a couple times,
she hasn't texted me back.

Aw.

[Kris] Kylie's just being a teenager.

She doesn't text anybody back,

she doesn't especially want
to be around us,

she wants to be around her friends.

-[Kris] Don't you worry about that.
-Yeah. Well, I want to be around Kylie.

Well, I know you do.
But you can't take it personally.

-I do take it personally.
-Okay.

[Bruce] It's upsetting
when she's not around that much.

Bruce feels frustrated because the girls
don't spend enough time with him.

[Kris] Kendall's never at home.

She's been finding her way
in the modeling world.

And Kylie is always out with her friends.

And I think the fact that Bruce and I
are co-parenting but not living together

makes it even more difficult
for him to see them.

I just feel bad because I don't want
Bruce to get lonely.

-And I'm heading for the golf course.
-All right, have fun.

-Wish me luck hitting them straight.
-[Kris] Okay, hit them straight.

-[Bruce] Thank you, I knew you would.
-Okay, don't forget to eat dinner.

[yawns]

Kim, you're like Puff the Magic Dragon.

North yawns like that, too.

-[Khloe] Oh, my goodness.
-She goes…

[exhales]

-She growls?
-[Kim] She was so cute yesterday.

I put her on Kanye and she went like this.

-No, she didn't.
-She was just laying on him like that.

We were laughing so hard.

-That is so cute.
-Like, I've never seen him laugh so hard.

And then she peed all over him.

-Stop.
-And I was like, "Oh, my gosh."

Does he freak out if she, like, pees?

-Or does he not care?
-No, he was just like, "She's peeing."

[giggling]

My dad just texted me.

Saying what?

He's pissed that he showed up at the house
and I'm not there.

He has to tell me before
he does things like that.

-You're never home though.
-[Kylie] It's not my fault.

Yeah, but if he told me, like,
"Hey, I'm coming over to see you,"

I would be there.

-You've got to reply to him, though.
-I feel like you have

to make an effort, though,
to go to Malibu.

-Yeah.
-Most kids, like, split time

between their parents.

Kendall and Kylie
are having a difficult time

balancing spending time with my mom,
spending time with Bruce,

spending time with us, like, it is a lot.

And when your parents live under one roof,

it obviously makes everything
so much easier,

but now things are different.

Is it true that Bruce is doing
Dancing with the Stars, or no?

-Doubt it, but then again, he would…
-It said online he was doing it.

It also said online
that I'm, like, [bleep] a donkey.

So, like, I wouldn't believe
anything online.

-I thought you were [bleep] a donkey.
-I thought you were, too.

I know, a donkey-man.

[all laughing]

-[Bruce] Honey…
-Oh. Uh-oh. Yeah?

That goes on the left-hand side.

[Kris] Oh, there's nothing in here,
so I don't know where anything goes.

What are you doing?

Well, I'm just actually
a little bit worried about you.

-Why?
-And so I went out

and just got a few things
so that if you get hungry…

-Please. I'm not…
-…and you're not at the club,

you'll have something to eat.

You gotta have something to eat, Bruce.

Honey, I got plenty of food.

I got a little worried for Bruce
when I saw him earlier,

so I thought it would be a good idea
to bring him some groceries

and take a look around
and see what's really going on over here.

It kind of smells in here.

I feel like you haven't taken
your trash out in forever.

-Oh, I take it out.
-It doesn't smell like it.

-I already had some apples and oranges.
-[Kris] Well, now you have some more.

It's a bachelor pad.
There's only one person here.

-Don't forget to wash these.
-Yeah, I know, okay.

[Bruce] Honestly, I'm doing just fine.

Don't you get lonely out here by yourself?

You're somebody
who can get very into yourself

-and very secluded.
-What do you mean "into myself"?

You tend to be a hermit.

[Kris] You have to get out
and invite people over.

I try to get the kids over.
They won't come over.

This is exactly the reason why I'm not
living under the same roof as Kris.

[Bruce] I don't need her telling me
what to do at all.

I'm just fine here.

If you're not interacting
with your family members,

you're gonna be isolated

-out here by yourself.
-But I am interacting.

Just… stop. I get it.

-You should be having…
-Just stop.

[Kris] Co-parenting isn't easy.

I just want to make sure that Bruce
stays engaged and part of our life,

so if he's not gonna take care of himself,

then I'm gonna take matters
into my own hands.

-[Bruce] Yes?
-Hey. What are you doing?

Well, just driving to the club.

-[Kris] I have a…
-Why?

Because I have a fantastic idea

that's even better
than driving to the club.

-What's that?
-Well, I'm with Miss Kylie,

and we thought that you could join us
to, um, do yoga today.

-Yoga?
-Yeah, yoga.

Why?

Well, because I thought it would be
really fun to do it as a family

and, you know, a lot of golfers
do yoga for strength training.

Hopefully, it just doesn't take very long.

[Kris] It doesn't take that long.

-All right, I'm in, I'm out.
-See you there. I'll text you the address.

Okay. Bye.

He wants to go home
before he even gets started.

Mom, no one wants to do yoga right now.

[Kris] I don't think Kylie realizes

how much Bruce needs
our love and support right now.

When I first met Bruce,

I thought it was really kind of odd
that he lived out in Malibu,

really in this remote place by himself
and seemed extremely lonely.

So no matter what it takes,

I'm gonna make sure
that he doesn't go to that place again.

You guys have to get
on my bandwagon sometimes.

[Kris] It gets so annoying.

How amazing is the smell
of the orange blossoms?

Yeah. Out there.

Whatever kind of meeting you took in here,
somebody was reeking.

-[Scott] Do you smell it in here?
-[inhales]

[Scott]
Smells like a potpourri bag gone wrong.

-[Kourtney] No.
-Are you joking? Take a whiff.

Did our painting come yet?

Dude, you have been tracking it,
oh, very closely, not me.

Well, you see the deliveries here

-and have time to get them.
-I don't watch the deliveryman.

[Kourtney]
Look, there's a package right there.

Obviously, that's from…
You can tell the painting is not in there.

It said it was getting delivered today

-and I just went through all the packages.
-So track it.

[Scott] You are excited about it. I'm not.

I'm still on the fence.
I don't think it's real, you do.

-[Scott] You track your package.
-It's an original Modigliani.

-You're an original psycho.
-There's none others of it online.

In my mind,
I can't imagine this painting being real

and just sitting around.

[Scott] It doesn't make sense.

If it was valuable,

my Jewish father would have sold that
at the block that he could find.

And he would've been driving around
in ten Rolls-Royces.

All right, well, you can continue
to be super casual about this

because we are sitting on a fortune.

-You are crazy.
-It's just fun.

Can you get some potpourri in here?

[Kourtney] No.

-[Kris] Have you ever done yoga before?
-[Bruce] Like, once.

[Kris] All right. Come on out here.

Look at how beautiful this is.

-[Bruce] I think it's down here.
-[Kris] This is so pretty.

-Let's do this 'cause I want…
-[Kris] Okay.

…to get to the golf course.

-[Eva] Welcome.
-Hi, everybody.

-Hi.
-Hi.

I'm Eva.

-Bruce.
-I'm gonna ask you, no socks, please.

-[Bruce] Oh, I gotta leave 'em on.
-Oh, okay.

-Hi, I'm Kris.
-[Eva] Hi.

-Socks are good.
-Welcome. Eva.

[Eva] All right.

We're gonna start by tuning in
and just relaxing for just a moment.

[Eva] Inhale in,
reaching up nice and tall…

and on that exhale,
we're gonna swan dive forward.

Let the belly drop forward. Beautiful.

Now let's reach one more time.

-Exhaling…
-[exhales shaprly]

All right. Bending the knees,
let's find your balance.

-[Bruce] My knees don't bend that far.
-[Eva] All right.

-[Bruce] Yeah.
-We'll step out of this in a moment.

-Come back…
-Two knee surgeries.

[Eva] Keep the hands on the mat.
We're gonna walk back.

-Beautiful. All right…
-Honey.

-I didn't train for the Games this way.
-[Eva laughs]

I'll do, like, hurdler's exercises
or something while you do this.

Go ahead.

Seriously, Bruce?
You are being so disruptive.

Now, as we take that heel,
we're gonna bring it in.

[Eva] That's wonderful, good job.

[Bruce] Considering, yeah.
Yes, little surgeries going on here.

Look at those babies. There, there.

Take a moment to reach back
into the heels.

[Eva] This is your movement,

and where you are
is where you are, all right?

-"Where you are is where you are." Got it.
-[Eva] Yes.

Oh, that's profound.

But where I'm at is out of here.

-Honey?
-Yeah?

[Eva] …in the fingertips…

What? You're disrupting the class.

Love it, but I've got a tee time
in, like, 20 minutes right over there.

I mean, it's great to see Kylie, but,

you know, at a yoga class?
[chuckles]

Um… where we can't even talk.

This is not my idea
of being close to my daughter.

You can't just leave

-in front of the class.
-I'm meeting the guys.

Keep going. Don't let me stop you.

Bruce is ditching yoga
and Kylie and I for golf.

[Kris] In the past, Bruce didn't have
a real close relationship with his boys,

so I want to do everything in my power

to make sure
that Bruce doesn't go to a place

where he drifts away
from Kendall and Kylie.

I'm not gonna give up.

[CiCi] Hey!

-[Kourtney] Hi, Ceece.
-Kourtney, these are cute.

But I'm a little bit worried
about the shoes.

-[Kourtney] This is very stylish.
-[CiCi] You think Birkenstocks are?

-I'm not a Birkenstock person.
-[door bell dings]

[Kourtney]
They're a little wide on your feet.

[woman] Kourt, for you.

-Oh, no.
-Oh, it's the Modigliani.

[gasps]

-This painting is the t*rture of my life.
-Oh, my god!

-Should I…
-Oh, my god.

Where are we gonna retire on this?

[Scott] Hold on,
I got to get rid of this boy.

-[Mason] No!
-[CiCi] Oh, my god.

It's fab… Oh, I love it.

[CiCi] Do you know what?
There's some imperfections, which is okay.

I just think this is fabulous.
It's a masterpiece.

-It's a masterpiece. We're rich!
-[both laughing]

You guys are totally appraisers.
There's imperfections on the border.

[Kourtney] So, our Modigliani arrives.

Thank God CiCi's at the house
because she is just as excited as I am.

And Scott's just acting
like the neighbor painted this.

Look, I hope you're right.
I'm praying you are, but…

-Yeah, aren't we all?
-…I just don't think

it's gonna be what you think.

But it's worth the dream.

I just, I can't handle the letdown
when they say it's not.

I feel like if we pretend it's real,
it's real in our eyes.

We can have friends over
for cocktail parties

and they can all think
we're art enthusiasts,

but if it turns out fake, we got nothing.

All we got is a dream.

I'm gonna go hide it.
Coming through with some…

-[thud]
-[exclaims]

-Oh, my god!
-[laughs]

-[Scott] There goes ten million.
-[CiCi] It's not… Oh, okay.

[Kourtney] That's why I need to hide it.

[CiCi] Put it under the bed.

-[Bruce] Let's go fill out our waiver.
-[Kylie] Okay.

-[man] How you all doing?
-[Kylie] Good.

How many climbers do we have?

-Three climbers.
-Wonderful.

These little rock climbers.

Well, the yoga thing
didn't seem to work out.

So I'm gonna see if maybe rock climbing

is the thing that's gonna
pull everybody together.

[Bruce]
This is a lot more fun than a yoga class.

-So, guess what.
-What?

-We have to have a little chat.
-What?

Well, you know the dress
that I've been looking for

-for four days?
-Yeah.

I found it in your closet.

Oh, my god, I'm so happy for you.

-What do you want me to say?
-You can't take my things anymore.

Mom, you're really pissing me off,

and I'm gonna leave in five minutes
if you don't stop talking to me.

That's why I have a camera
that I put in my closet now,

-so I can just roll back the tape.
-Good. Good.

-Okay.
-I'm literally so happy for you.

-[Kris] Are you sure?
-[Bruce] Guys…

-Yeah?
-We came here to have a little fun.

-Okay.
-And we're discussing all this stuff.

Let's go.

[Kylie] I don't think I'm gonna climb.

-[Kris] There you go.
-[man] Thank you.

You okay?

[Bruce] So, ladies,
ready for some magic shoes?

-I don't think I'm gonna stay.
-Why?

Because I'm really sensitive to anything
that puts me in a bad mood.

-I drove all the way here to do this.
-Do you want me to cry and rock climb?

-[Kris] No.
-[Kylie] So I'm gonna go, but…

-You can stay.
-That's really nice.

-[Bruce] What's the final one?
-[man] Address.

-[Bruce] Oh, the address.
-Stas?

Okay.

[Kris] I was so excited to at least
get together and spend some family time.

Then it just falls apart.

Who knew that me bringing up my clothes
would start World w*r III?

But I'm gonna hang in there.

Let me introduce you to your instructor.
I got to go find him, see where he's at.

-All right, where's Kylie?
-[Kris] Kylie left.

-Why did she leave?
-She said she's sensitive.

What the hell's that have to do
with climbing a rock?

I don't know. Kylie is working it out.

[Kris] She just was having
an emotional day today.

Oh, please. I came all the way over here.

-[Kris] She's 16, and she's cranky…
-[Bruce] Oh, please, don't give me this.

Don't make excuses for her.

I'm just trying to keep the peace
with everybody.

I try so hard to make everybody happy.

[Kris] Kylie's just a teenager.
Sometimes, they storm off.

And Bruce never seems
to understand that she's 16.

Seems like every time I turn around
and want to do something,

everybody, like, gone.

There's a lot of different personalities.

-And there's a lot of different dynamics.
-Don't give me all this "personalities…"

She's just having a bad day.

Personality is BS. I'm out of here.

[Mason] This is called sword fight hands.

Yeah, I'm gonna win!

-[Khloe] Ouch.
-Hi.

[Kourtney] Will you come?
I need to show you something.

You're gonna freak out.

Scott is being such a Debbie Downer.

At least I have Khloé here,

so Khloé can help me convince Scott
that we really need to get this appraised.

[Kourtney imitates fanfare]

[Khloe] What is that?

[Kourtney] That's the Modigliani.
It's, like, the lost, missing Modigliani.

-Kourt, you wish.
-'Cause when you look it up online,

this doesn't come up.

[Kourtney]
Let me just show it to you up close, okay?

-Look.
-[Khloe] Okay.

-I mean, I'm sure…
-[Kourtney] No, don't touch it.

-[screams]
-I'm saying just look at it.

-What am I looking for?
-I don't know.

What are you looking for
when you look that close?

-[Kourtney] I'm just telling you.
-[Scott] I don't know why you think

it's real. You've never,
like, examined art before.

I really don't know anything about art.

But when I see Kourtney getting excited,
I cannot help but get excited with her

even though I think this painting
is, like, hideous.

-[Kourtney] That kind of looks like that.
-Kourtney, let's…

I think let's get it appraised.
What's the worst that could happen?

I don't think we should get it appraised,

because if it's fake,
we're all gonna be very devastated.

Well, if it's fake,
I'm cracking it over my knee

and throwing it in the basura.

Ah, I've always wanted to do that.
I don't want anyone coming.

-Why?
-It's… I can't take it.

-No.
-I just want to dream that it's real.

Scott is so worried
that what if it's not real.

It's just gonna be a disappointment.

But, like, it could be
this life-changing piece of art

that's, like, buried treasure
in the pirate ship.

And what are you doing? No, no, no, no.

I want you to stay with me.
I want you to stay with me, P.

-Kylie, you look so cute.
-Thank you.

[Kim] Khlo?

-Huh?
-[Kim] Let me see your hair? I noticed it.

Do I get the Kim K. seal?

-Not yet?
-Not yet.

[Kim] It's like all stripey.
All that should be dark.

We're going to the wellness kitchen?

[woman] Hello.

[Bruce] All right,
I'm hitting the men's room.

-[Kris] Okay.
-I'll be right back.

Before he comes back,
I just want to tell you,

I want to have this cooking class

so he can learn how to cook
some things for himself.

-Mom.
-I'm just worried about him.

Today, I have a backup plan.

Instead of inviting one child,
I'm inviting the whole family

so that if somebody storms off,
I have extras to take over.

Kim, you look like such a lady today.

Really? I was trying to be a whore.

Why are we having,
like, a sit-down dinner?

Because guess what?

It's a cooking class.
You're gonna love it.

[quirky music]

-A cooking class?
-Yeah.

[Bruce] Honey, this is why I had
all these girls, so I didn't have to cook.

-[Khloe] Hello.
-Hi, everybody.

My name is Paulette Lambert,
and I am your chef this afternoon.

And I'm also your nutritionist.

-[Kris] Oh, good.
-[Paulette] So, everybody ready to cook?

I should probably be on the golf course,
but… let's cook.

-Yeah.
-Yeah.

-[Kris] We're ready. We came ready.
-Let's do this.

-[Bruce] Look at this.
-I've been wanting to do this for so long.

Kind of think about what you'd like to do
and we'll get started.

I'll make the soup.
Bruce, do you want to make a fish?

-[Bruce] I can do the fish.
-I'll make the spinach.

-Is this the baking dish?
-That is the baking dish.

[Bruce] Kim, you're looking very domestic.

I am getting married.
I gotta figure it out.

[Bruce]Yeah.

You can just kind of pile it in
and start fluffing it over

when it starts to wilt a little bit.
And now, put all in here.

[Kris chuckles]
You know what you're doing, Bruce?

[Bruce] It says there's… Oh, preheat
the oven. So, we had to preheat the oven.

-Okay, I think the oven's preheated.
-[Bruce] And the grill. I can…

And then we're gonna dip
each piece of bok choy

-in the marinade.
-I got it.

-[Kris] Place on the grill…
-[Bruce] Honey, I got it.

Is that enough marinade in there?

-Mm-hm.
-For the bok choy?

-[Bruce] I got it.
-Okay, just checking.

[sizzling]

[Paulette] You want to put
a pot holder underneath that for me?

Looks beautiful. Dinner is ready.

-[Bruce] Oh.
-[Kim] Fancy.

Let's open up a restaurant, guys.

We're so good at this.

-Your fish is good, Bruce.
-It is good, isn't it?

I'm really proud of us, guys.

-Me, too.
-Me, too.

You guys…

-Who made the cod? Bruce?
-What is it?

[Kim] A hair.

-And that is, like, your type of hair.
-[Bruce] Khloé.

I made a fish, but I think
we made a different one.

[Kris] Bruce, maybe if you'd cut
your hair, this wouldn't have happened.

Uh. Awkward.

All right, let's go.

-[Khloe] Thank you so much.
-[Paulette] Okay.

-Well, that was good.
-Yeah.

I would have to say one of the reasons
why I enjoy living out in Malibu

and being apart

is because you have a tendency
to be very, kind of, controlling.

-Mm-hm.
-And I just want you to know

that I don't need that in my life.

[stammers]
I'm just fine on my own.

And I kind of see what you're doing here.

-What am I doing here?
-You're…

You're worried about me,
but, honestly, I'm fine.

Of course, I'm worried about you.

When'd we meet? When I was 40 years old?

For the first 40 years, I did a lot.

[Kris] I'm a caretaker.

I want to take care of him,
and I always will.

But, sometimes, my intentions
come across maybe a little too strong,

especially now that Bruce and I
aren't living together,

so it just might be better
to let him fend for himself.

Well, you're a good sport for showing up,
so thank you for that.

[upbeat music]

-What… Aren't you a little dressed up?
-I know. I need to change.

I mean, you look cute,
I just don't know where she's going.

-Where's Mom going?
-[Mason] I don't know.

[Scott] Me neither.
She looks pretty, though.

-Okay.
-Okay, I'm tired.

Okay, I'm tired.

I feel like we should just tell
this guy not to come.

-[Kourtney] He's already on his way.
-It doesn't matter.

-He's coming from Beverly Hills.
-Cars know how to turn around.

He left at six o'clock. It's 6:50.
He should be here any minute.

Let's just say forget it
and take him off the gate list.

-Okay, I'm tired.
-Okay, I'm tired.

I booked an appraiser to come to the house

because I don't care
if Scott doesn't want to know.

I have to know
if this painting is real or not.

I can't take it.

[Scott] Hello.

-Hi.
-[David] Hi, how are you?

-How are you? I'm Kourtney.
-I'm good, I'm David.

-Nice to meet you. It's a pleasure.
-Nice to meet you.

-This is Mason.
-How are you, Mason?

[Mason] Good.

[Kourtney]
Show him your works of art on the wall.

Oh, my gosh, I love those.
These are beautiful.

-[Kourtney] Yes.
-Wonderful.

-So we have this painting.
-[David] Yes.

This is the one.

For you, is it just, like,
a glance, and you know?

-Or do you feel like…
-I mean, yeah, I could pretty much…

-Yeah.
-I can pretty much tell.

[suspenseful music]

It's a great piece.

So this is it, Kourt. Your time's up.

I think this is when your dream
is about to be crushed.

You're about to find out
your so-called masterpiece

is not such a masterpiece.

[music continues]

-[Kourtney] So we have this painting.
-[David] Yes.

For you, is it just like a glance
and you know?

-Or do you feel like…
-I mean, yeah, I can pretty much…

[David] I can pretty much tell you.

It's the real thing.

-Get out of town. Are you serious?
-[David] Yeah, I am.

No.

I think it is.

-You have got to be kidding.
-I think it is.

[David] It fits everything.

You know, he did this kind of muddled,
strange background,

and he did it over the faces.

[David] What I look at are the brush
strokes, subject matter, signature.

All three are dead-on.

How do you check for sure?

[David] Any of the auction people
can do the tests on it.

It's worth your while to send it off,
have it researched.

The appraiser thinks the painting is real.

Like, I am in such shock.
This has to be a joke.

Like, even though I thought
that it was real,

I just can't believe
that it could possibly be the real thing.

[David] It's a great piece.

-Have you ever seen any other Modiglianis?
-Mm-hm.

-Fake and real?
-Yes, I've seen both.

We may be fooled,
but if it is, it's a darn good…

-Yeah.
-…fake.

I mean, you know, I don't think it is.

[David] I think it's the real thing.

In the beginning, I had no excitement
about this piece of art

because I thought there'd be no way
it could be real.

But now, with this appraiser saying
there's a possibility,

this is getting me a little tingly.

I mean, if it is, we're sitting
on a gold mine over here.

-Thank you.
-It's wonderful. Thanks again.

-Okay. Nice to meet you guys.
-Thanks for coming out.

-Take care.
-It's a pleasure. Thank you.

Bye.

[Kourtney] So what do we do?

We could call Tomer and ask him
to send a Sotheby's person.

[Scott] Tell Tomer to come over to look
at the painting. Where is he?

-But could we…
-[phone line ringing]

Okay, this thing's real.
Let's just chill out.

-[Tomer] Hey.
-Hey, are you home?

No, I just left.

Oh, I was gonna say this appraiser guy
just told us, and I'm not kidding,

that he thought our Modigliani was real.

You're [bleep] lying to me.

-We want to sell the house.
-[Kourtney] Would we want…

-No.
-We want to move up.

You need to send it to Sotheby's.

Yeah, so what do we do?
Should we take a photo?

Yeah, let me e-mail them today
and see exactly what they need.

-[Kourtney] Okay, bye.
-Okay.

[Scott] Hey, whoa, whoa, watch the cat!

Put it back in our secret hiding spot.

[Scott] No, this is going back
to the safe department.

[Kylie] You look so cute today.

-Wait, stay there.
-No.

No, you're… I need to.

Why do you guys have to take pictures
of yourself all the time?

-[Khloe] 'Cause we're so…
-Vain.

Speaking of pictures… Kendall.

Yeah, what about Kendall?

What's your opinion
on the runway pictures?

I don't know if that's good or bad
for the modeling career or what.

[Khloe]
Hello, she's all over Vogue right now.

-[Bruce] Good.
-Yeah.

I'm proud of her.
But she's been gone way too long.

But, anyway, what did you think
of the cooking class?

-I liked it.
-You know, once it was over with,

I talked to Mom.

You know, I just said,
I could see what she's trying to do.

Mom's kind of been…

Well, I can't say kind of strange lately.
She's always been kind of… controlling.

-I'm very controlling, too, so I get it.
-[Bruce] Yeah.

I think a lot of that is, I allowed her
to be so controlling over the years.

Especially with me and everybody else,
and on and on and on.

It's like she's feeling sorry for me
that I can't take care of myself.

I don't think it's coming
from a malicious place.

I think it's just her way
of controlling everything.

And what, it just bothers you?

Well, I just don't… Yeah, I don't…
I just don't need it.

My mom is Ms. Fix-It,

and she feels really bad
that Bruce is living by himself

and that Bruce feels lonely
and she has good intentions,

but I definitely think sometimes
she goes a little too far.

I'm sure, for a man,
that you probably feel like, hello?

"I know how to take care of myself.
I've done it for 40 years,"

or how old were you when you met her.

Yeah.

It's nice that she invited me
to the cooking class.

I think that's nice of her.

It's just that, honestly, every time
I ask somebody to do something with me,

nobody shows up.

So it kind of gets frustrating

that nobody ever comes to my side
and does something that I like to do.

-[Khloe] Aw.
-[Bruce] Aw.

I didn't even realize
how much it hurts my dad

when Kendall and I don't see him.

I feel really bad,

so I'm definitely gonna make
more of an effort to hang out with him.

I try to get these guys
to come out paddleboarding,

and I can't even get 'em to do that.

Well, don't you remember being 16?

-[Scott] Oh, bugle?
-[Kourtney] Yeah.

Come over here, please. I need your help.

What is this?

[Kourtney] You're not picking out carpets
for the house.

I don't pick out carpet for houses.
Only for aviation and yachts.

I need to start thinking about what kind
of color carpeting I want on my jet.

[Kourtney] So now you're into this…
suddenly?

I've always been into being ultra-rich,

but I just never believed
it was gonna happen

the way it's supposedly gonna happen.

But, look, I'm gonna
jump on the bandwagon.

I want to be excited with you.

Of course, Kourtney and I
started researching

what some of these paintings
have gone for recently in auctions,

and a couple went in the 40
to 80 million-dollar range,

so, if that's true,
we'll be out jetting around town.

We'll all probably be broke
after a little bit of spending,

but, yeah, it's fine.

This is really not aircraft
or aviation-grade carpeting.

I'd probably do a Pinta Fanina interior.

You need to chill out because we don't
even know if the painting's real.

I feel like if I put my energy in thinking
it's gonna happen, maybe it will.

[Kourtney] Okay, well, then,
let's see what happens.

Scott is planning every dollar
and how he's gonna spend it.

Like, we really don't know
if this painting's real.

I know that I was so excited,

but now that he's starting
to get carried away,

it's just making me
freak out a little bit.

-So, are we thinking black?
-[Kourtney] I'm not entertaining this.

All right. Fly on.

I'll be flying without you.

[Kylie] Dad!

Oh, no.
[chuckles]

[squeals]

Dad?

Look who showed up!

I brought you a sandwich
with your name on it.

-You brought me a sandwich?
-[Kylie] Yeah.

Oh, that's nice.

Oh, it was actually pretty good
out there today.

Went down there. There were some
other people down there, but what…

Little paddle surfing.

You know, Kris has
kind of been babying me,

but ever since that cooking class,

she has been easing up tremendously
on the whole controlling thing,

which has given Kylie and me the space

to naturally find ways
to spend time together.

This is about Kylie and I
keeping our relationship

and our communications open,

because family is the most
important thing out there.

What are you doing tonight?

-Tonight?
-Yeah.

Actually, there's a fundraiser
Brody's going to.

He just texted me, so I'm gonna go shower,
clean up, and go over there…

-with Brody.
-All right, well…

hit me up after if you're still awake.

[Bruce] All right. Thanks
for the sandwich. Thanks for coming out.

-[Kylie] I love you.
-[Bruce] Love you.

[upbeat music]

-Hi. I'm Scott Haskins.
-Nice to meet you.

[Kourtney] So excited.
Do you want, like, a flat surface?

[Haskins] Yeah, do you have a table
where we can look at it?

[Kourtney] Yeah.

It's really sunk in that we may have
this extremely rare and valuable painting.

My mom has set up for this expert
to come out and look at our painting,

and I just really want a definite answer

before Scott loses his mind
and orders a G6 on his credit card.

-What do you specialize in exactly?
-Well, I'm an art conservator.

I'm looking for anything
that proves that it's not.

I'm looking for red flags.

[Haskins]
I've had multiple run-ins with Modigliani.

I already made plans with the money.

We're feeding children…

-Oh, great.
-…that cannot afford to eat.

How much dough were you planning
to spend on the charity stuff?

-I don't know. We'd have to see.
-[Scott] Two percent maybe?

-[Kourtney] No.
-Five percent?

-[Kourtney] No.
-Ten percent?

You know what? I don't know.

Uh, I just need money for this helicopter.

-Saving up for a helicopter?
-Yeah.

There goes a hundred grand.

-No pressure, huh?
-[Kourtney chuckles]

Do you see any red flags?

I, um…

I just have some interesting things
that I can't answer.

[Haskins] Yeah, I thought I was coming
to look at an oil painting.

And this is obviously watercolor on paper.

Okay.

Another thing that's interesting.
This isn't cardboard here.

I thought it was just,
he could tell us a "yes" or "no,"

but one person tells us it could be real,
one person tells us maybe it's not real.

I guess it's not that simple.

So, you're gonna go back
to the lab and analyze that stuff?

[Haskins] Oh, absolutely.

I'm hoping I can get it back
within a week.

[Kourtney] Hey, guys.

-I love them.
-Look what we have here.

-The moment you've all been waiting for.
-[Kris] What?

-The Modigliani results.
-This is our…

Wait. These are the test results
from the painting?

[Kris] You're just opening this
for the first time?

-Yes. It was sealed.
-This is just to confirm

if the paint is authentic, though, right?

-Well, that's the next step.
-[Khloe] Oh, my god.

Are you hoping it's real
so you can leave me?

-[Scott] Yeah.
-[Kris] Oh, my god.

-Yeah, right, guess where it is.
-For once, the tables are turned.

[Kris] What's it say?

It says, "The analysis shows
that both the painting and the board

on which it was painted
contained titanium dioxide,

-AKA titanium white."
-[Scott] That wasn't… It was never around.

"It would appear impossible

-that he could have painted this."
-[clicks tongue]

-[Kris] Oh, no.
-"Amedeo Modigliani…"

Why did you try to get me all riled up?
I knew we had nothing.

"…d*ed years before
the artist's pigment…"

-Let's burn this thing.
-"…was available in France.

-For whatever reason…"
-It's over!

[Khloe] Scott!

The dream is over.
The nightmare begins now.

"It is an older copy, 1930s, '40s,
which gives it some historical value…"

-[Scott] Oh, suck me dry.
-"…and possibly some minimal

financial value,

though the faded condition
probably limits that."

That was exciting for a minute, though.

-We're not millionaires.
-[Scott] It gave us something to live for.

Well, I guess I won't be getting
that private jet after all.

You know, you win some, you lose some.

But, on the upside,

I don't have to worry about getting
a hangar and a pilot and a staff for it.

At least it's over, and we can move on.

-Yeah. I don't want to keep wondering…
-I couldn't sleep at night.

[Kris] It's such an amazing piece of art.

It's really cool.

[Scott]
I don't want that thing staring at me.

[chuckles]

[Kris] How much is the original worth,
I wonder?

[Scott] Too much.

Like, how much would have been worth
if it was the real deal?

-[Scott] Like crazy money.
-Couple hundred million.

-Wow.
-Right?

[Scott laughing]

[Kris] Sweet.

[Kourtney] You bought a van?

[Khloe] Next on
Keeping Up with the Kardashians…

-What goes on here?
-Just a little bit of work.

I have this mobile office.
I'm sure I could find some use for it.

[Kourtney] Can I do the cheesy mac?

-Mm.
-This is the way to go.

Maybe you should take care
of your own dog.

I would do it happily,
but you don't even give me the chance.

Mom is being so annoying.

-She, like, won't stop complaining…
-I would be annoyed, too.

You're never home. It's not fair.
You should be thankful of her.