01x16 - Nuthin' but a Dance Thang

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Sydney to the Max". Aired: January 25, 2019 to present.
Series follows middle schooler, Sydney who lives with her single Dad and her progressive Grandmother as she navigates life.
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01x16 - Nuthin' but a Dance Thang

Post by bunniefuu »

Okay, girls, put down your pencils.
I have the best news!

A friend of mine gave me a deal on a limo
for the Father-Daughter Dance!

What? No way! A limo?

Can Olive and her dad come with us?

Oooh, it only seats ten, so of course!

-We're going in a limo!
-[both squealing]

Thanks, Mr. R!

This just made
the bestest night even bester!

-Olive, did you hear that?
-Did I?

-I don't want to go to the dance.
-Neither do I.

I mean, it was fun when we were little,
but we're too old for this now.

We're practically almost women.

We shouldn't be dancing with our dads.

Yeah, we should be dancing with real men.


It's gonna be awkward and embarrassing.

So, you going to tell your dad?

I can't. Did you hear him?

He said "bester." He's so excited,
he's making up words.

I can't do it either.

My dad lives for taking me to the dance.

Well, at least all of our friends
will be there.

Yeah. Maybe it won't be
as embarrassing as you think.

-Hey, girls...
-[both] Heyyy.

I just found out the limo has a sunroof

that we can stand up through and wave.

No, that's kind of embarrassing, right?
We should just, "Woo-woo!"

Yeah, that is classier. "Woo-woo!"

[theme music playing]

Like father, like daughter
We don't always agree

But looking at you
Is like looking at me

The more things change
The more they stay the same

Like father, like daughter
From different times

Taking all the best
From your decade and mine

The more things change

The more they stay the same

The more they stay the same

Guys, you're not going to believe this.

Last night, Emmy and I told our dads

we didn't want to go
to the Father-Daughter Dance.

Oh my gosh, what'd they say?

They were totally okay with it!

My dad was actually relieved.

He said he was sick of the kids
laughing at his bad dancing.

Especially me.

I wish my dad got embarrassed that easily.

Or at all.

Well, if you guys can get out of it,

we're gonna hang with a bunch
of other girls skipping the dance.

We call it the Anti-Dance.

They even hired an Anti-DJ.

That's it. We have to tell our dads.

Why should go to a dance we don't want to?

We're not kids anymore.

Let's make a pact.
We'll tell our dads tonight.

Agreed. How about after dinner?

Can't, my dad's always in a food coma.

-Before dinner?
-Won't work.

That's when my dad yells out
the wrong answers to game shows.

How about after dinner but before dessert?

It's a small window,
but I think we can hit it.

These guys are a lot of work, aren't they?

Sorry I got a little intense
out there, dude.

It's called badminton, Max.
Not bad-attitude-minton.

I just want to make sure I win a trophy
at Father-Son Sports Night.

Mom? Everything okay?

Oh sure. Why do you say that?

'Cause that chicken was already d*ad
when you bought it.

Oh Max, I was gonna wait,
but you might as well hear it now.

Your dad called, honey.

He forgot about father-son night

and agreed to cover
another pilot's flight.

Oh. Okay.


You were looking forward to this.

You know, it's okay to be upset.

I'm not upset. Dad has to work.

Not every dad's gonna be there.

Leo, is your dad coming?

Yeah. But that's because
our arcade is sponsoring the event.

He'll probably be
bossing me around the whole time.

But that's our version of tossing a ball.

It's nice.

Mom, really, it's better this way.

Dad's terrible at sports.

He's saving me the embarrassment.

Your father's not that bad at sports,
just marriage.

[knocking at door]

Step it up, Grandpa! No pain, no gain!

[breathing heavily]

You okay, Dad? Can I get you a water?

Or a paramedic?

Don't worry, Noodle.
His good suit was too tight,

so he asked me to kick his butt into shape
for the dance. He's fine.

[gasping] Yes... I'm... need... air.

Oh, suck it up, Buns Of Jelly.

Dad, you want to hear something funny?

I was talking to some girls
at school today,

and a lot aren't even going to the dance.

[panting] I know.

I had a few dads come into the shop
and tell me the same thing.

I get it.

-You do?

Some of the girls feel like
they're too old for it now,

-and the dads are okay with it.

-I'm so glad we're not like them.

I love that we have the kind of
relationship where you still want to go.

It's not just a dance to us.
It's a tradition.

I mean, it's got us
through some hard times, Syd.

I can't imagine just tossing it out
like some old toy.

So we are still on
for dress shopping tomorrow, right?

-Wouldn't miss it.
-Great. Oh!

And I almost forgot to tell you
I donated a smoothie cart to the event,

so the organizers said they'd make sure
that we have a spotlight dance!


You and me under the spotlight
with everybody watching.

It just keeps getting better and better.

Hey! So, did you tell your dad
you didn't want to go to the dance?

-Oh good.

I didn't have the heart to do it.

No! Before I opened my mouth,
he tells me he has to neuter a beagle

at the animal hospital that night!

Boy, did I luck out.
Not so much the beagle.

Guys, did you hear?

Maddy S. is hosting the Anti-Dance.

She has an outdoor movie screen!

And the best part, parents who let her do
whatever she wants!

Personally, I need more structure.

Guys, guys, dial down the excitement.

Someone, I won't say who,

still has to go to the dance.

They'll never guess now, Olive.

Can't wait to see what
dresses you picked out, Syd.

Can't wait to show you, Dad!

-Do not let me leave here with a dress.
-Roger that.

I still gotta figure
a way out of the dance.

But if my dad buys me one,
I'll feel too guilty not to go.

Don't worry.

When your dad sees the ugly dresses
we've picked out,

he won't be buying anything.

There's a blue muumuu in there
that looks like a pool cover.

Let's get this ugly show on the road.

This couldn't be going any worse!

I know! It's a disaster!

Oh, no. It's gorgeous.

How did it get in here?

Must have snuck in with the uglies.

I mean, it fits you perfectly.

Olive, stop it!

I don't care what you do, but you cannot
let me leave here with this dress.

No matter how much it makes my eyes pop.

Hey, Syd, did you--?

[gasping] It's perfect!

-No, it's not. It's too... big.


Why are you pretending
to not like this dress?

Because it's too expensive.

It's worth every penny, and I'm buying it.

-Dad, wait, you can't!
-Why not?


Why? Because...

it wouldn't be socially responsible.

It could have been sewn by poor orphans.

Or from fibers spun
by inhumanely-raised silkworms.

Free the worms!

Dad, with all that's
going on in the world,

I wouldn't feel right
taking this dress home.

Well, I'm proud of you, Syd.

Not many girls could turn down
something this beautiful

because it goes against her principles.

I can.

It makes me sick to look at.

Then we just won't buy it.

You get changed,
and I'll meet you two at the car.

-We did it!
-Yeah, I just talked my dad out

of buying me the most
beautiful dress I ever saw.

-You want a moment to say goodbye?
-Yeah, we're gonna need it.

Ooh, those bad boys
for Father-Son Sports Night?

Yeah, but I won't be getting one.

I'll be ref-ing.

I never liked Billy's dad.
He's in for a rough night.

-Hey, Chet.
-Hi, Max.

Well, the Make-A-sh*t's fixed.

Good. My dad calls that thing
my college fund.

I just hope Harvard takes quarters.

Hey, nice trophies.

Not to brag, but I got
a whole bunch at home. Fifty.

Oh, guess I did brag.

Wow! What sports did you play?

Football, basketball, baseball,
even the polos: water, regular,


Sorry, it's a reflex.

These puppies are
for Father-Son Sports Night at my school.

But my dad can't make it.

Hmm, that's a shame, son.

Nothing feels better
than winning a trophy.

Except for maybe the love of a good woman.

But I'd still go trophy.

Chet, can you hang on a sec?

Did you hear that? He called me "son."

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Half the time,
you don't know what you're thinking.

What if I asked Chet to be my dad
for Father-Son Sports Night?

No one at school knows my real one.

Then I could actually
win one of these babies!

Yeah, but how do you ask someone
to do something like that?

Would you be my dad?

-Excuse me?
-Just for my school's Sports Night.

We could crush
all the other fathers and sons

and leave 'em crying in the dust.

That's beautiful!

You got a deal, son!


Leo, meet my new fake dad.

As a ref, I do not approve.

As a friend, I will look the other way.

Okay, at least I got out
of getting a dress,

but now I've gotta come up
with a good reason

why I can't go to the dance.


What's that doing here?

It's haunting us.
Like something out of a horror movie.

It's like a demon dress.

[demon voice] Wear me, Sydney. Wear me.


-Dad, I thought we agreed--
-Before you go on, I did some research.

This dress company
only uses union employees.

All of their fabrics
are sustainably grown.

And for every dress sold,
they donate one to a program

that gives prom dresses
to underprivileged girls.

Wow! This dress
is a better person than I am.

Thank you, Dad. It's beautiful.

You're welcome. Now you can go
to the dance with a clear conscience.

Oh and Olive,
I heard your dad can't make it.

So if you want to go, I can save
a couple of dances for you.

Thanks. I'm good.

Oh, no. This has gone too far.

I've gotta talk to him.
The dance is tomorrow night.

I'll just be honest and tell him
I'm too old for this.

-You want me around for support?

This is something a girl
has to do on her own.

Oh, thank goodness.
I'm not good with emotional scenes.

If I have anything uncomfortable
to say to my parents,

I yell it through the bathroom door
and run away. Good luck!

Okay, Chet, people have to believe
you're my dad tomorrow.

What's my birthday?

Correct. What's my mom's name?

Not Trudy, Judy!

No, you don't have to take a lap for that.



Well, thanks
for letting me know, Leo. Bye, Leo.

That was Leo. You know, my friend Leo.

Nice kid, likes to dance? We've met.

Listen, I thought I would get us tickets

for that new dinosaur movie tomorrow,
"Tyrannosaurus Island ."

Or six, or whatever number they're on.

I thought you hated those things.

No, I don't! Yes, I do.

But I thought it would be good
to keep your mind off

that father-son thing tomorrow.

Is that tomorrow?

I completely forgot not having a dad
to win several trophies with.

You sure you're okay with that?

I'm fine!

Besides, Mom, I gotta cover
for Leo at the arcade.

Wow, I wish you were
that forgiving with me.

I forget to pack one pudding cup
in your lunch bag,

and suddenly I'm just that lady
who lives with you.

-Hey, Syd.
-Hey, Dad.

You know when you have a bandage
and sometimes it's better

to just rip it off and get it over with?

I hate doing it that way.

I'm not good with pain.

Yeah, but sometimes pain can't be avoided.

-You can get a numbing agent that can--
-[Sydney] Dad!

I don't want to go
to the Father-Daughter Dance.


I'm sorry, Dad, but I'm too old.

None of my friends are going.

I totally understand if you're upset.

Okay. We won't go.

-Wait. You're not upset?

You've outgrown it. I get it.

Wow. That was easy.

Can I have a pony?

No, but you can keep the dress.


-Maybe I should return it.
-No, I want you to have it.

Thanks, Dad!

-You're the best.
-No problem.

Why didn't you tell her
how you really feel?

You heard that?

The house has vents.
You're just figuring that out?

I wanted Syd to go because she wants to.
Not because I guilted her into it.

Wow, you're a better mom than me.

I'd have been lost without guilt.

I had to pretend to cry
just to get you to put on clean underwear.

Please don't say anything to Syd
about the dance.

Or the underwear. Both, really.

Of course! I'm proud of you.

It's hard when your kid
grows away from you.

-You're handling it well.

I'm feeling pretty good about...
[choking up] ...this.

-You okay?

[choking up] I'm better than okay.

You know, I am feeling so good
that I think I'm going to take a drive.

Do you need anything from the store?

Hey, Grandma. Whatcha watching?

I'm just uploading
a video for my collection

of your father's funniest moments.

Wow, you've got videos
just for, "Max sits in stuff"?

Well, here's my favorite one:
when he sat in cow poop.

Boy, that was one long, stinky ride home.

-Wow, Dad. You look sharp.
-Thanks, Syd.

You gotta look smooth to serve smoothies.

Well, it's all thanks to Body By Judy.

I should franchise.

Yeah, because who doesn't want
to pay money

to run down the street being yelled at
by a woman riding a suitcase?

Hey, Dad?

Thanks again for understanding
about the dance.

Of course.

Have fun with your friends.

You understand why I don't
want to go, right, Grandma?

Duh. Going to a dance
with your dad at your age?

Totes embarrassing.

Hey, isn't that my pirate birthday party?

Is it? Oh yeah.

Huh, I wonder how that got in there.

[parrot squawking]

Sir, please stop shaking.
You're scaring the bird.

He started it!


[Judy] Why don't you talk to him?

Calm him down.

[Max] Yeah, that's a good idea.
What's his name?


Okay, okay. Nice Jaws.

-[parrot squawking]
-Good Jaws. Not nice Jaws. Big Jaws.

[Judy] You want me to do it, Max?

No, I have to do it.
I'm her dad, it has to be me.


Ah... ah.


[in pirate voice]
Ahoy, all ye scallywags!

[children] Woww!

Daddy! You got me a real parrot?

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

[Max] Yeah, he's a nice little guy,
isn't he?

-[parrot squawking]
-[laughing] He's-- oh!

Wow, I didn't know
he was so scared of that bird.

He didn't want you to know.
It would've spoiled your party.

But why'd he do it? He didn't have to.

Well, Noodle, when you love someone,

you do all kinds of crazy things
just to make them happy.

I forgot my jacket. I gotta go.

Sure. You gotta go.

[sighing] I tried.

Ah, this place smells like victory.

[sniffing] And maybe an animal
got trapped in here.

Wow, Dad! That's funny, Dad!

You may be the funniest dad ever, Dad!

Max! You made it.

And there's Max's dad!

Hey there, Max's dad!

-Yeah, I'm Max's dad.
-Don't overdo it, Chet.

So that's the competition?

[scoffing] We got this.

That bald guy's goin' down.

That's my friend's dad.

You can be friends again tomorrow.

[whistle blowing]

Okay, listen up.

Our first event is dodge ball.

Let's start with some rules.

No hitting above the neck,
no crossing the center line,

and no using your children
as human shields.

We're gonna need a new strategy.

Don't worry about it.

With you as my dad, we got this.

Hello, Max.

Mom! What are you doing here?

I wanted to meet your new dad.

Hello, father of my child.

Hello, Trudy! You remember our son.

How'd you find out?

I found your cheat sheet.

"Questions To Train My Fake Dad."

The one time I remember
to put a heading on my paper.

Honey, I hate to bother you,
but the basement flooded.

And being the helpless wife that I am,

I need you
to go home and fix it. Right now.

You know
we're not really married, right?

[laughing] Don't worry,
you couldn't handle this.

You. Outside.

You rented a dad? Really?

I just wanted to win a trophy.

Max, come on. Why don't you tell me
what's really going on here?

-Nothing's going on.


I was sick of being the only kid
at these things without a dad, okay?

He misses everything!

My basketball games,
open house, the school play.

[sighing] It's not fair.

You're right. It's not fair.

But that doesn't mean he doesn't love you.

-But he's a total flake!
-Yes, he is.

I knew that when he was
a day late for our wedding.

That's why it's okay to feel sad

when he's not there for you, okay?



I will always be there no matter what.

I know you will, Mom.

And when you have kids, you can make sure
that you're there for them, too.

All right, let's not make this gross.

Fine. Let's go back in there
and kick some booty.

What? You can't. It's for dads only.

Yeah, well, it's about time things change.

You're right, Mom. It is.

We'll go out there and have fun.

Fun? Max, look at me.

Does it look like I'm walking out of there
without a trophy?

Let's do it!

[soft dance music playing]

What can I get you?

The Broken-hearted Boysenberry
or the Watermelon... Weeper?


Hi, Dad.

What are you doing here?

I came to dance with my dad.

I didn't expect to see you.
What changed your mind?

Because I remembered how much I loved
seeing that smile on your face.

-Like that one.

I can't tell you how much
this means to me, Syd.

Maybe it's because things like this
didn't mean enough to my dad.

Well you're not him.

You're my dad.

Greatest dad in the world.

Shh. The other dads will hear you.
They all think they are.

May I have this dance?

Yes, you may.

[slow dance music playing]

Huh. Last year I had to bend over
to dance with you.

Either I've gotten taller,
or you've shrunk.

Maybe it's a little bit of both.

I love watching you grow up, Syd.

It's just...

sometimes it's hard
to lose moments like this.

I know. But think
of all the new ones we'll have.

I can't wait.

But how about we really enjoy this one?

-[game chatter]
-[whistle blowing]

Offsides! Hit the bench, Michael's dad.

-You havin' fun?
-Oh, yeah.

But not as much as my mom.

And this is for missing
Max's kindergarten graduation!

And this is because a cab driver

had to hold my hand when Max was born!

Lady, I don't even know you!

Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!
Who's your daddy now?

[man] Oh, yeah.
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