15x03 - Drop Dead Gorgeous

[bunniefuu]

(whooping) Keeping Up

with the Kardashians...
SCOTT: That does look pretty

serious. KHLOE: But for a lot of

people.
My mom has that old-school

mentality where she thinks I
should be sitting on the

couch...
KRIS: Want to go watch TV?

KHLOE: Just eating food.
KRIS (laughing): This is your

lucky day.
KHLOE: I can't eat eight

dozen donuts.
KHLOE: What is this?

KIM: A mortician book.
I'm just, like, so curious what

the process is.
AMBER: The next room is gonna

be us doing some makeup
together... on a person.

KIM: That's dead? MARIO: Kim?

KRIS: Scott's going to Miami.
He invited Corey to go with him.

He's like a different person
these days.

KHLOE: Is he?
COREY: Man, this boy.

He know I was flying there, and
he did not surface.

KIM: Wait. You flew out just
for him?

KRIS: You don't just (bleep)
up a little bit.

You (bleep) up. ♪ ♪

KENDALL: I'm really excited
to break stuff.

KOURTNEY: If you get your
rage out here, you're living a

good life. (Man laughs)

KENDALL: Are we ready?

KOURTNEY: Hi. Mmm.

I have this crazy outfit.
YOUNES: What?

What do you mean?
Give me a kiss.

KOURTNEY: What?
YOUNES: Okay, no kiss.

(Kourtney laughs)

MAN: Those are all your weapons.

KENDALL: We're breaking that?
MAN: Yeah.

KENDALL: That's so fun.
KOURTNEY: I'll go first.

(Kourtney and Kendall shriek)
Oh, my God, it didn't even...

KENDALL: Oh, my God...
KOURTNEY (laughing): It

didn't even break.
(Kendall laughs)

KENDALL: Try it again.
KOURTNEY: Okay.

(Kendall shrieks)
(Kourtney laughs)

KENDALL: This is for sure
gonna break it. It's metal.

KOURTNEY: Do it.
KENDALL: Is it weird that I'm

really scared?
KOURTNEY: Kendall, what kind

of hit is that?
KENDALL: It's gonna be so

loud. KOURTNEY: That's the worst

thing I've ever seen.
Why didn't it shatter?

(both laugh)
Why didn't it shatter?!

KENDALL: This is so crazy.
KOURTNEY: Wait.

Wait. Look. Let's do this.
(glass breaking)

KENDALL: Cheers.
(Kourtney screams)

(both screaming)

(Kourtney yells, laughs)

(Kendall screams)
KOURTNEY: Do you want to do

this one again? KENDALL: Yeah.

At the same time, you and I
could, like, hit it.

One, two, three. (Screaming)

(laughter)
That's some tough glass.

(Kourtney laughs) ♪ ♪

KIM: Chrissy is having her
birthday party tonight.

She's like, "I'm so sober right
now, and it's driving me crazy."

I'm so bored."
KHLOE: I feel her on that.

It's so boring. It sucks.
KOURTNEY: I'm pretty sober,

and life, when you can actually
remember things, is really

great.
Like, sex is better sober.

KHLOE: No, it's not.
KOURTNEY: Yeah, it is.

KHLOE: Sex is so much more
fun when you have drunk sex.

KOURTNEY: No, it's not.
Don't you want to remember the

good stuff?
KHLOE: How drunk are you?

Are you, like, belligerent?
KOURTNEY: Yeah.

KHLOE: I'm just saying, take
the edge off.

Being drunk adds value to
everything else in life.

(Kim laughs) (Kourtney laughs)

KIM: So my friend just went
to a funeral, and was saying it

was, like, an open casket, and
she was saying how the person

looked just, like, different.
I feel really bad that, like,

someone would just be remembered
just not really looking like

themselves. ]] KHLOE: I agree.

KOURTNEY: But that's what
you're thinking about when

someone passes?
KHLOE: Yeah, when someone

dies, and you see them...
KIM: I mean, I think, like,

you got to...
KHLOE: And you're like,

"God, they looked really at
peace, they look so beautiful.

I feel good seeing them leave
like that."

KIM: Like, you feel, like,
"Okay, it's fine.

Like, they're at peace."
KHLOE: I don't remember if.

Dad had an open casket.
KOURTNEY: No.

KIM: His casket wasn't even
there.

It was just a picture, because
I had to stand up and talk.

I remember that his casket was
already at the grave site about

to be, like... KOURTNEY: Buried?

KIM: Just waiting for us.
And I was just thinking, like,

"Who is this person that does
the makeup?"

Like, it's obviously the
morticians.

My Girl? ]] KIM: Yeah.

Jamie Lee
Curtis... she came, and he was

the mortician, and she did the
makeup.

You could be the Jamie Lee
Curtis of morticians.

KIM: I know death is such a
morbid topic, but I am, like,

obsessed.
I just want to prepare myself

for when that time comes, and I
also try to not make it such a

morbid, scary thing.
I hope I don't die soon, but I'm

gonna ask Kanye if he wants to
be cryogenically frozen so he

can just be in our house in a
freezer.

I'm putting in my will that I
have to always have my hair done

if I'm, like, not... talking
myself, or, like... okay?

Death is a natural part of life.
Like, I am totally at peace with

my father's passing, and I just
want the same thing for other

people.
So to remember someone not

really looking like themselves...
I would hate for that to be the

case.
What do they do if someone has

hair extensions in?
KOURTNEY: I'm sure they take

it out. KHLOE: No, they don't.

KIM: What if they're all
taped in?

KOURTNEY: Oh, oh. I'm sure
they leave it, yeah.

KHLOE: Your hair gets...
disintegrated anyway.

KOURTNEY: Okay, guys, I
really don't want to talk about

this. It's actually making me

uncomfortable. ]] KHLOE: Why?

KOURTNEY: I don't know.
KHLOE: It's life and death,

it just happens.
KOURTNEY: It just is.

KHLOE: Okay. ♪ ♪

KRIS: Look how cute we are.
KHLOE: Mm, very cute.

It's still developing.
KRIS: I know. Okay.

"Mommy..."
KHLOE: I wish I had your

handwriting. It's so good.

KRIS: Thank you.
So how are you feeling?

KHLOE: I'm, like, so scared,
nervous, excited.

It's, like, a million things.
Are you supposed to be all those

things? KRIS: Yes, definitely.

KHLOE: Okay. Like, I'm
allowed to be scared?

'Cause I am... Like, it's so...
KRIS: Yeah, it's scary.

Wait till it's this big.
It's so crazy.

KHLOE: It's really freaking
me out.

KRIS: What are your cravings?
KHLOE: I don't really have

any right now.
I mean, frozen yogurt is

literally the only thing I care
about.

KRIS: You don't have any
cravings?

KHLOE: Not really.
KRIS: When you're pregnant,

you just have to lose control
and indulge.

Back in the day, when I was
pregnant, I was one who probably

gave in to my cravings from time
to time.

Well, probably every day.
I would enjoy lasagna and French

bread, and, I mean, I just went
for it.

This is one of the best times of
your life.

It's so amazing. ]] KHLOE: Mm.

KRIS: And I'll be right there
with you, kid.

I'll be right there with you.
KHLOE: What's that new thing

you're doing?
KRIS: I don't know.

KHLOE: Okay.
KRIS: You little cutie!

KHLOE: You could do that.
I don't know what this thing is.

(both laugh) ♪ ♪

KRIS: Hey. Hello. SCOTT: Hello.

KRIS: Who knew you had a pool
table?

I don't come over here enough.
SCOTT: I do have a pool

table.
KRIS: Like, I feel like I'm

disconnected, right?
SCOTT: If you were connected,

you would know that I'm gonna
take on an actual career in

developing properties.
KRIS: What?!

SCOTT: Which is amazing.
KRIS: High five!

SCOTT: High five.
KRIS: Congratulations.

SCOTT: Over the past couple
years, I decided to start trying

to buy houses that I thought had
potential and fix them up in the

way I thought they would look
best.

We're changing the front and the
color.

It makes it much more
contemporary.

We'll decorate the exterior.
We need to fill up a , -foot

house.
I like these marble tables.

That could be cool.
I just have a passion for

flipping houses, so being able
to make an actual career out of

that is very cool and exciting.
So, as of now, I have, like,

three or four different houses
that we're gonna remodel inside

and out. ]] KRIS: Wow.

SCOTT: You know, it's cool.
It's just, like, I've always

wanted something that I was
passionate about, and I finally

found it a couple years ago.
But now, it's, like, I get to at

least showcase it.
KRIS: This is a whole nother

level for you.
SCOTT: Yeah, it's great.

KRIS: I think what people
don't realize is how creative

you are and how my entire family
leans on you for our design

advice from time to time.
SCOTT: Nobody tell anybody.

KRIS: And art and everything.
SCOTT: I would love you to be

a business partner on it.
KRIS: Do I get a check?

SCOTT: I think that you would
have to negotiate with... but...

KRIS: I'm just kidding.
I would love to do it.

SCOTT: You know there's
nobody else that I would trust

that I know that could look over
everything.

KRIS: Yeah. Give me a little
hug.

SCOTT: Oh. ]] KRIS: A little

congratulations hug.
I'm very proud of you, very.

And that wonderful lipstick you
better tell your girlfriend

about that I just got on your
hoodie.

Sorry about that.
SCOTT: It's okay.

I'll say I was at the strip club
earlier.

KRIS: Oh, yeah, okay.
At noon. At noon.

SCOTT: Well, they... they got
a great buffet.

(Kris laughs) ♪ ♪

MELISSA: Straight arms.
Six, seven, eight, nine, ten.

KIM: Ooh, I see your belly
today!

KHLOE: What? Don't say that!
KIM: No, it's cute.

I just never saw it.
MELISSA: Eight, nine...

Okay, go. Five with me. Five...

KHLOE: Ever since I found out
that I was pregnant, my workouts

have been adjusted to how I feel
every day.

MELISSA: Knees up.
KIM: Should she be doing

abs? MELISSA: Yeah, she can do

abs. KHLOE: I definitely don't

push myself too extreme.
I do things in moderation and

everything is approved by my
doctor.

See you tomorrow. Depending.

MELISSA: Yeah, just let me know.

KHLOE: I will.
MELISSA: All right.

(Kim yawns)
KIM: You look amazing.

KHLOE: Thank you.
KIM: How much weight have you

gained? ]] KHLOE: pounds.

KIM: That is nothing.
At five months, I was, like,

in. ]] KHLOE: No, you weren't.

KIM: I gained , so I had to
have at least hit by then.

KHLOE: I woke up this morning
and I was like, I feel so,

like... swollen or bloated or I
don't know.

I'm two pounds heavier than I
was on Saturday.

KIM: You'll just fluctuate.
You just can't, like, stress

about it. KHLOE: I kind of am.

What I'm scared about is the
doctor that I've talked... like,

since Tristan and I are both big
and, like, his mom has had.

C-sections 'cause all of her
kids are big and, most likely,

I'm gonna have a big baby.
If I need to have a C-section,

we'll do whatever I have to deal
with that.

She wants me to gain a
reasonable amount of weight, but

nothing too crazy.
ALIABADI: But I don't want

you to gain more than, um...
I mean, ideally, if you could do

eight pounds, weeks.
KHLOE: Okay.

ALIABADI: Your partner is
tall and big and I'm just

worried if you gain too much
weight, you're gonna have a...

KHLOE: A huge baby.
ALIABADI: Mm-hmm.

KHLOE: I would really love to
avoid having a C-section.

I would like to do this as
naturally as possible.

My whole family delivered
vaginally and I just kind of

want to do the same.
Having a C-section, you know,

it's really hard on your body.
Cutting through your abdomen and

your uterus, I just don't think
that sounds like an easy

process.
KIM: You're freaked out about

it, but, like, it is what it is.
You can't really stress it,

honestly.
KHLOE: I don't know, it's

just scary.
KRIS: What are you doing

here? ]] KIM: I'm gonna do your

makeup. ]] KRIS: Why?

KIM: Because I'm a mortician.
♪ ♪

KRIS: Bah! (Kim screams)

KHLOE: Weighing myself.
ALIABADI: The biggest health

concern is I don't want to
deliver a big baby. (Laughs)

KHLOE: I don't want to gain
"X" amount of pounds.

I am so nervous.

♪ ♪
SCOTT: What are you making?

KRIS: Sausage and peppers.
SCOTT: Oh, the ol' sausage.

KRIS: Haven't made this in a
really long time.

Oh! Scott! Geez.
KHLOE: Scott, get out of

here, go sit down.
SCOTT: You know, I'm trying

to help out.
KHLOE: Who else is coming

over to eat all those?
'Cause this is crazy.

KRIS: Well, most of this is
for you.

SCOTT: Are you gonna invite
all the neighbors over?

KRIS: Yeah. ]] SCOTT: Wow.

That does look pretty serious.
KHLOE: It's great, but for,

like, a lot of people.
SCOTT: That can feed a

country.
KHLOE: My mom is making the

heaviest pasta dish, with so
much oil and just butter and

crap everywhere.
I'm not having three pieces of

bread.
KRIS: It's fine, you're gonna

be fine.
KHLOE: Eating like this is

not gonna help me prevent having
a C-section.

This is so good, Mom, thank you.
KRIS: Do you like it?

KHLOE: But you know I can't
eat all this.

SCOTT: Me, neither.
KRIS: Of course you can eat

all that.
You want some for dinner?

KHLOE: I can't have so many
carbs.

KRIS: Carbs?

I think, growing up, Khloe was
always conscious of her weight.

(Khloe trilling)
(Khloe speaks indistinctly)

CAITLYN: Don't you think you
should lose a few pounds?

KRIS: Khloe has worked so
hard for the last couple years,

really getting in shape and
being healthy and... she's never

looked better, so I think she's
a little bit scared about what's

gonna happen after baby.
But being pregnant is a

beautiful thing and the last
thing she should be worried

about is gaining a lot of
weight.

SCOTT: Can we give the dog a
little sausage?

KHLOE: Mm-hmm.
You're feeding her from a fork?

SCOTT: Yeah.
KHLOE: That's disgusting.

KRIS: Ooh. KHLOE: That's nasty.

SCOTT: He eats like a person.
KHLOE: Oh, my gosh.

SCOTT: This dog is a human. ♪ ♪

SCOTT: The Cor-ster.
COREY: What's up?

SCOTT: Yo, you're always
trying to go behind my back when

you get the ski stuff going on.
COREY: Well, you know I've

been practicing, man, so I got
the (bleep).

SCOTT: You've been
practicing. Where?

You know Ben.
COREY: Whaddup, man?

BENNY: What's up, man.
COREY: What's going on?

Y'all good?
SCOTT: Have you been skiing,

like, on the low without
everybody knowing?

COREY: That's all I did all
last spring.

In ' , I'm probably gonna go
skiing at least times.

SCOTT: What?
COREY: I went skiing times

last year.
SCOTT: You went skiing

times?
COREY: times, eight days a

piece. SCOTT: Are you, like, a

full-blown expert now?
COREY: I'm decent.

I-I can't wait to get back to
the mountain.

SCOTT: Oh, this guy.
What the...?

Are you wearing tights?
COREY: Oh, I got a crazy

wardrobe. ]] SCOTT: Stop.

COREY: All colors... that's
why I'm trying to get boots to

match... I need at least three
pair of boots.

SCOTT: By the way, it's not
like... it's not like rapper

(bleep), like, you got to have
multiple pairs of sneakers.

COREY: I match 'em with my
outfits.

SCOTT: You're not serious.
COREY: I'm serious.

I go into hardcore training
tomorrow.

SCOTT: I'm not a skier like
that.

I just go for, like, the chicken
nuggets and chicken fingers in

the lodge.
Corey and I have definitely been

spending more time together,
which is nice.

We have more in common than I
thought.

COREY: We also got to back on
our hiking, for real for real.

SCOTT: We do.
We should be hiking to be in the

season for the skiing.
COREY: That's what my point

is. ]] SCOTT: And we should look

good for Art Basel. COREY: Yeah.

SCOTT: Art Basel happens
once a year in Miami.

It's basically just a showcase
of a ton of different artists.

There's a lot of pop-ups and
galleries.

It's a perfect time for me to
start looking into new art that

I can put in some of my new
houses.

I want to hit as much as we can
hit.

COREY: When we go out, I know
who to call.

SCOTT: Corey has a lot of
connections in the art world, so

it'll be cool 'cause he's gonna
set up some meetings for when

we're in Miami.
What's gonna go on here?

Oh, wow, you got a serious
stance.

Look at him go.
All right, hit him with a little

speed.
COREY: That... Hey, watch the

thing, watch the thing.
Hey, this kid is (bleep) with

the thing.
(Scott and Benny laughing)

SCOTT: This thing's gonna
fall apart.

COREY: He gonna (bleep).
And then he gonna walk out, so

if I was y'all, I'd stop him.
(Scott laughing)

Don't (bleep) with Scott or
nothing.

SCOTT: That's classic. ♪ ♪

KHLOE: What are these shirts?
I never go through this stuff.

I don't wear this (bleep).
KIM: (gasps) It says how to

do makeup on a young child.
Like, where to apply the blush.

What?
KHLOE: What the hell is that?

"Creating a head bandage"?
What is this?

KIM: This is, like, a
mortician book.

I've been, like, fascinated
with, like, ooh...!

KHLOE: What was that?
KIM: But I think that I want

to take it a step further
and, like, meet with a

mortician. ]] KHLOE: Okay.

KIM: I'm just, like, so
curious what the process is.

I'm gonna call Mario and see if
he'll go with me.

MARIO: Hello? ]] KIM: Hey.

MARIO: Hey. How are you?
KIM: Wait, I got a mor... a

mortician book.
It's so fascinating.

Their whole thing is, like,
color correcting.

MARIO: Oh, my God, will you
send me pictures of that?

I want to get that book.
KIM: Yeah, no, you're-you're

literally gonna want this book.
No, Mario and I are fascinated.

KHLOE: The book is about
death and m*rder.

Hi, Mario.
KIM: No, it's not about

m*rder, you idiot.
It's about makeup for dead

people.
KHLOE: I just saw "how to sew"

"up your skull" in one of the
chapters.

Sometimes Kim is so ridiculous.
I mean, she gets obsessed.

But as bizarre as this is, Kim
knows makeup like the back of

her hand.
This is her whole world.

So this isn't something so
farfetched to me, coming from.

Kim. MARIO: Oh, my God, I love

you... my plane's taking off.
I got to go.

KIM: Okay, we got to go to
mortuary school.

When you come in town.
MARIO: Send me pictures of

that. ]] KIM: Okay, bye.

MARIO: Send me pictures of that.

KIM: Bye.
KHLOE: (laughs) You guys are

such freaks.
"Okay." (rushed stammer)

Like, you guys are so crazy. ♪ ♪

KHLOE: Hi, Mom.
KRIS: Hey. I'm just having a

little lunch.
KHLOE: You're putting wasabi

straight on your thing?
KRIS: Oh, honey, you bet I

am. ]] KHLOE: Oh, my God.

KRIS: Oh, it's everything.
Mm-hmm.

KHLOE: That's wild.
KRIS: Mm-hmm.

Mmm.
I just found out that Scott's

going to Miami. KHLOE: For what?

KRIS: For Art Basel. KHLOE: Hmm.

KRIS: It's really cute,
because he invited Corey to go

with him. ]] KHLOE: Mm-hmm.

KRIS: Corey loves art, and he
loves the whole Art Basel scene.

So it's like two peas in a pod.
KHLOE: That's so nice.

KRIS: I am, like, very
pro-Scott right now.

He's getting up early in the
morning, working all day,

excited about life.
He's like a different person

these days. ]] KHLOE: Is he?

KRIS: Yeah.
KHLOE: Normally, if Scott

were to go to Miami, it would be
a red flag.

But Scott is making some really
good improvements in his life.

And he's a natural at flipping
houses.

So I think this is really, like,
a good use of his time.

KRIS: I have my two personal
scouts going to Art Basel to

check it out.
KHLOE: That's nice.

KRIS: So I'm excited. Yeah.

KHLOE (whispers): Wow.
KRIS: You have to be into

what we're all into to get
really excited about this.

KHLOE: Are you art-shaming me
again?

KRIS: No, I'm not trying to
art-shame you.

I'm just saying that different
people are interested in

different things.
KHLOE: That's a very true

statement.
KRIS: I think hormones make

you cranky. ♪ ♪

SCOTT: We're Basel-ing!
(Virgil laughing)

♪ ♪

SCOTT: What up, boy?
ALEC MONOPOLY: Oh, (bleep).

What up, bro?
Thank you for coming.

SCOTT: It's very cool stuff.
ALEC: Oh, thank you.

SCOTT: When one doesn't sell,
I'm just gonna take it.

(laughing)
Art Basel's pretty cool.

PAPI: We're going to Komodo.
Just a quick snack.

Couple of rolls.
SCOTT: Let's go.

I have my friends here from New
York.

Corey was supposed to fly with
me, but he got caught up and had

to do some work at home.
When he gets here, we have plans

to network and meet artists and
owners of different galleries,

just so I can, you know, create
relationships.

I'm very excited about it.
Do you see yourself ever not

having a beard? ]] PAPI: No.

SCOTT: Me neither.
PAPI: Not anymore.

SCOTT: I don't think I'll
shave ever again.

(Papi laughs)
Yo, by the way, we're going into

business and we're starting
right away.

PAPI: No way! That's amazing!

SCOTT: Most people, they're
sourcing out everything.

For me, I'm gonna be the buyer,
I'm the seller, and I'm actually

furnishing my own place.
PAPI: Wow!

SCOTT: I get to, like, kind
of finally show the world that I

actually do work. PAPI: Right.

SCOTT: Not just, like,
appearances and social media and

events.
I want to take it, like, one

step further... build my own
furniture.

Even, like, coming out with my
own branding.

PAPI: Right.
SCOTT: Like a modern-day.

Martha Stewart. (Papi laughs)

I feel like I probably come
across to the world a little bit

different than I really am.
And I'm not saying a lot of the

things that you've seen are not
exactly % true, because they

are.
But I definitely think there's a

lot of people that maybe
underestimate me, and I'm

excited that I do have this
now, to show that I am

professional when I need to be.

AMBER: The next room is gonna
be us doing some makeup

together. MARIO: On who?

AMBER: On a person.
KIM: That's dead?

AMBER: You'll find out when
we go in.

KRIS: When you (bleep) up,
you don't just (bleep) up a

little bit, you (bleep) up.
If you're gonna go do Art Basel,

then go do Art Basel.
Don't do Art Basel and pretend

like it's spring break.

♪ ♪

KIM: I feel like I know
makeup very, very well.

And before I even go to a
professional, I wanted to test

it out on my mom.

KRIS: What are you doing here?

I just got out of the shower.
KIM: Perfect.

KRIS: What are you doing?
KIM: Please lay down.

Obviously, my mom's not, like, a
substitute for a dead body, but

I just am so used to only doing
makeup on myself, I needed

someone to test it out on.
I'm gonna do your makeup.

KRIS: Why?
KIM: Because I'm a mortician.

KRIS: You're a mortician.
KIM: And I need, I need to

practice. ]] KRIS: I'm not dead.

I know I look pretty bad, but I
just got out of the shower.

KIM: But I need to practice.
Can I just practice on you?

KRIS: Are you okay?
KIM: You can relax and just

chill and you're getting your
makeup done.

KRIS: Are you really gonna do
my makeup? Okay.

KIM: Yeah, I'll do you your
makeup for the day.

KRIS: Kim is always trying
something new, but being a

mortician is interesting.
Who knew that her love of makeup

would take her this far?
KIM: What's your favorite

look these days?
What would you want to go out

in?
Not, like, to the store, but go

out-out, like, to the grave.
KRIS: Perfect skin.

Nude lip, I learned that from
you.

KIM: Okay.
Look... Well, close your eyes.

KRIS: Oh.
I just wanted to see how hard

this would be.
KRIS: Are you practicing to

do mine when I pass away?
KIM: No, just in general.

Okay, I was gonna say this might
feel a little cold, but you're

dead, so it doesn't matter.
KRIS: Doing makeup on a

living person is completely
different, just so you know.

KIM: You're really talking
too much for a dead person.

KRIS: You're really creepy.
KIM: Your skin's great.

Oh, you're playing the game now.
KRIS: Bah!

(Kim screams)
KIM (laughing): Mom.

(Kris laughs) Oh, my...

Oh, my God, you really scared
me.

I almost peed my pants. ♪ ♪

KRIS: Oh. KIM: A little mist.

And you are done. Here.

KRIS: Good job, Kim. Thank you.

KIM: I'm into it.
KRIS: Me, too. Thank you.

♪ ♪

PRODUCER: So, the situation
is we heard that Scott was out

super late last night, and that
he is dead asleep.

Have you heard from him?
Do you know what his plans are?

COREY: He gonna... He gonna be
jacked up for a while.

MAN: Yeah, well...
COREY: I don't know how,

you know what I'm saying?
That's Scott.

PRODUCER: Yeah. All right.
COREY: Scott Disick.

♪ ♪

KRIS: Hello! KHLOE: Hey, Mom.

KRIS: I brought you a surprise!

KHLOE: Oh...
KRIS: This is your lucky day!

KHLOE: Are you... okay?
KRIS: Yeah. It's Krispy Kreme.

Day!
To celebrate the pregnancy of.

Khloe Kardashian!
KHLOE: I can't eat eight

dozen donuts. KRIS: Just smell.

KRIS and KHLOE: Mmm.
KHLOE: They do smell pretty

good. ]] KRIS: I know.

KHLOE: I remember, back when
my mom was pregnant, she and.

Bruce almost got a divorce
because Bruce would not pull

over to get her two dozen
donuts.

He was like, "You don't need
them, Kris."

And they were screaming at each
other.

He finally got her these stupid
donuts.

And when I tell you she ate
every (bleep) donut, she ate

every (bleep) donut.
That's just not who I am.

That's just disgusting.
KRIS: I want you to remember

that I had six kids.
KHLOE: Mm-hmm.

KRIS: And after my fourth
child, I never looked better.

I gained and lost and gained and
lost and gained and lost, and

had the time of my life.
And I was healthy, and I was

happy.
KHLOE: If I want a donut or

cookies, I'll eat them.
I'm not depriving myself.

Everything I'm doing is
instructed by my doctor.

I would love to avoid a
C-section, if possible.

But if my baby turns out to be
really big, I'm gonna have to

get a C-section.
KRIS: But I just want you to

feel good about yourself and be
able to let your hair down a

little bit and say...
KHLOE: But listen...

KRIS: "I'm gonna have a
bowl of pasta," or "I'm gonna

eat lasagna tonight or have a
donut."

KHLOE: Can I speak?
I'm not doing anything that's

unhealthy.
I don't think anything I have

to say is registering.
My mom has that old-school

mentality where she thinks I
should be sitting on the couch,

just eating food.
KRIS: I feel a lot better

knowing you're gonna have some
Krispy Kremes to keep you

company while I'm gone.
KHLOE: If I don't have the

same experience as my mom,
then she thinks something's

wrong with me, which blows my
mind.

It's so frustrating.

KRIS: This is a lot.
You should not be doing this

pregnant.
You might hurt yourself.

KHLOE: "Are you sure you
should be doing this?"

Or "Do you feel okay?"
not be doing that,

Khloe. Lay down.
You shouldn't be walking."

It's just so extreme.
COREY: When I got there to do

the whole day of art, man, this
boy did not show up.

(Kris gasps)
KRIS: He missed the whole

thing?
COREY: Yeah. But he missed

out on a good, really good-ass
day.

♪ ♪

KRIS: Morning!
KHLOE: Oh, my God, what are

you doing here?
KRIS: I came to help you work

out. KHLOE: What? Mom, I told...

KRIS: Wait, come here, I got
to show you something important.

KHLOE: Show me.
What are you doing?

KRIS: Here.
I'm just up here with you.

KHLOE: Okay, well, there's
room for one.

KRIS: Okay. Ooh.
Slow it down a little bit.

This is very fast. Hi.
KHLOE: It was faster, that

was my cooldown. KRIS: Hi. Hi.

What are you doing?
KHLOE: What are you doing?

I don't like your...
KRIS: Huh? My energy?

KHLOE: No, I love your energy.

KRIS: I just had a-a laser.
(laughs)

(whoops) Oh, my God. (Laughs)

This is a lot.
You should not be doing this

pregnant.
You might hurt yourself.

Even though Khloe's expecting,
she works out like a

professional athlete.
KHLOE: I want to be healthy.

KRIS: Oh, no, honey, you're
taking a break.

I don't want Khloe to go into
early labor because she's

working out and exerting herself
so much.

KHLOE: No. We can't do it...
KRIS: Okay. (Laughs)

You're so serious.
What are you doing?

KHLOE: Mom, you're...
KRIS: What are you doing?

(howling) ]] KHLOE: Stop!

What if I fell? ]] KRIS: What?

KHLOE: You can't make me...
KRIS: Why don't you sit down

and you won't fall. KHLOE: What?

KRIS: Sit down...
KHLOE: I absolutely love my

mom, but she's a psychopath.
KRIS: Want to go watch TV?

KHLOE: No. KRIS: Are you sure?

Want to go for a swim?
KHLOE: No.

KRIS: Come on, there's so
much to do here.

KHLOE: Mom, stop. KRIS: Okay.

KHLOE: "Are you sure you
should be doing this?"

Or "Do you feel okay?
You should not be doing that",

Khloe... oh, my God, when I was
pregnant...

You just got to lay down and
just eat all day.

"Just lay down.
You shouldn't be walking."

It's just so extreme.
Enough is enough.

You haven't been to one of my
doctor's appointments.

If you were, Dr. A says it's
good to work out.

I'm doing what my doctor says.
KRIS: I want to go to one.

KHLOE: Don't. ]] KRIS: Okay?

KHLOE: Okay. KRIS: Let's go.

Come on, I'm starving.
I'm shaking.

Look at me shaking, I'm so
hungry.

(chuckles) I'm shaking.

KHLOE: Mom. ]] KRIS: What?

♪ ♪

KIM: Hi.
AMBER: How are you? Come in.

KIM: Yeah. This is Mario.
AMBER: Hi.

MARIO: Hey, I'm Mario.
How are you? Nice to meet you.

AMBER: Nice to meet you. Hi.
KIM: So, wait... so this is,

like, a mortuary.
AMBER: Yes. You're in an

actual-actual mortuary.
KIM: So, this is where people

come when they die. AMBER: Yes.

KIM: I've been dying...
No pun intended.

I've been dying to know the
tricks of the trade and, like,

what concealer morticians use.
So, Mario found this mortician

so we can learn everything.
AMBER: If you have someone

that you haven't embalmed, you
can just place them under

refrigeration.
I've had people that've been

dead for, like, days.
KIM: How do you embalm

someone? (Amber chuckles)

AMBER: Embalming is,
essentially, making an incision

here, it's pulling up the
artery, it's opening it up, it's

putting an arterial tube in
it...

It's pushing embalming fluid
through your body.

So you're flushing out all of
the blood, because the blood is

what starts the decomposition
process.

MARIO: I always wondered
about this, too.

Like, let's say, God forbid,
that she passes away.

Like, what if her eyeball or
something opens? Like...

AMBER: So, it's essentially a
contact lens that has little

pebbly things on it, and so,
when I take a body, I open the

eyelid, I put that on, and then
you put the eyelid over it, and

essentially, it holds the eyelid
down, so her eyelids aren't

gonna be popping up.
MARIO: What?

KIM: My stomach is turning.
I thought I was totally fine,

and all of a sudden, I'm like,
"Oh, my God, I might throw up."

AMBER: Um...
KIM: Can we sit down?

AMBER: Yeah.

KIM: What training is
involved in this?

AMBER: So I went to
Mortuary School.

Um, it's a three-semester
program.

You learn basic things, like
stuff that you already know,

like the color wheel and what
cancels out other colors.

And then, you'll build facial
features.

We would get clay, and we would
learn how to a build a nose,

and... ]] KIM: Why?

AMBER: Um, because if someone
gets in a car accident, um, you

can basically rebuild their
facial features from wax.

KIM: Like, what if someone's,
like, sh*t in the head?

AMBER: It's easier to fix
than it sounds like.

Like, if it's just a simple
g*nsh*t wound, it's just taking

filler or wax and just putting
it in, and then just, um,

cosmetize it. ]] KIM: Wow.

AMBER: So, what we're going
to do, when we go into the next

room, um...
MARIO: What's in the next

room? ]] KIM: I don't know.

AMBER: The next room is gonna
be us doing some makeup

together. ]] MARIO: On who?

AMBER: On a person.
KIM: That's dead?

AMBER: You'll find out when
we go in.

KIM: We definitely asked for
the authentic experience, but

I'm starting to rethink this.
AMBER: Those are for you.

KIM: Okay, cool.
Are we gonna walk in to a dead

body laying on the table?
I'm just freaking out.

AMBER: All right, are you
guys ready?

Yeah? Excited?
MARIO: Oh, my God, my heart's

b*ating so fast right now. Kim.

KHLOE: I am about to have a
checkup with Dr. A, and I am

bringing my mom, so she can hear
it with her own ears and see it

with her own eyes.
She wants me to gain pounds.

KRIS: No, I don't.
KHLOE: Oh. Don't lie now.

KRIS: I do not want you to
gain pounds.

ALIABADI: Okay, we...

AMBER: All right, are you
guys ready? Yeah? Excited?

MARIO: Oh, my God, my heart's
b*ating so fast right now.

Oh, my God. Kim. Kim?

Kim? ]] KIM: It's fine.

Well, she's breathing.
MARIO: Huh?

KIM: She's breathing.
Is she gonna say hi?

I mean, she's breathing, so...
she's not dead.

AMBER: Right. (Chuckles)
KIM: So...

AMBER: But she's gonna be
our... she's... she's method.

She's gonna be our dead body.
KIM: Hi, thank you for doing

this for us. ]] MARIO: Hello.

AMBER: So one of the things
that, um, you'll always get is

you'll get pictures of the
decedent.

And so, this is gonna kind of
tell me what I should work with.

KIM: We have the same color on.

Literally, the same exact color.
It's beautiful.

AMBER: And, actually, it's
funny, too, 'cause I bought this

especially for it and that was...
She's already, she's good to go.

So this is, like, some color
correction for her.

MARIO: How would you color
correct the blueness here?

AMBER: So blue, I would maybe
start by putting some yellow

over it. ]] MARIO: Yellow?

AMBER: Yeah, I'd put yellow
here, put some yellow here.

MARIO: So could we use, like,
highlighter to make her skin

glow? ]] AMBER: Mm-hmm.

KIM: So where are you gonna
put the highlighter, her cheek?

MARIO: Just, like, on her
cheeks so it makes it glow a

little bit.
So use the peach and I'll use

the peach on your under-eyes.
Use it here, like on her...

under-eyes a little bit.
KIM: So, would you use it

directly? ]] AMBER: Yeah. Yeah.

MARIO: I'll do one side and
you do the other side.

Here, mix these two.
But put more of the lighter one.

KIM: Keep going.
I'll just be your assistant for

the day. Has anyone ever moved?

AMBER: (laughs) No. KIM: No?

AMBER: No.
MARIO: She needs a little bit

of eyebrow.
KIM: And then we can put

some, like, bronzer on top.
I could really see this as a

career for you.
I think you can handle it.

(laughs) ]] MARIO: I don't know,

Kimberly.
I wouldn't be able to get, like,

Instagram pictures or, like, red
carpet photos or anything.

KIM: All right, I know this
is, like, way too heavy for me

to ever really take on, but I've
learned so much being here and

I'm really grateful for the
experience, and I'm really glad

that Mario came along, 'cause
now I know that if... when the

day comes, that I'll be in good
hands.

AMBER: Yeah, that's pretty
much...

KIM: That's amazing. Beautiful.

♪ ♪

KRIS: Hey, guys. KIM: Hi, Mom.

If you ever don't want this rug,
I'll take it for the baby's

room. ]] KRIS: Okay.

KIM: Cute. Thank you.

KRIS: How long has it been
since you saw Corey?

KIM: I just saw Corey right
before he left for Miami.

KRIS: How was Miami?
COREY: First, I was late.

So me and Scott didn't get to
hang out and do the different

events like we wanted to.
But when I got there to do the

most important part that we
prepared for weeks, to go do the

whole day of art, man, this boy
did not show up.

KRIS: (gasps) He missed the
whole thing?

COREY: Well, he knew I was
flying there and he did not...

KIM: Wait, you flew out just
for him?

COREY: Yeah.
And when I got there, I didn't

see him at all or talk to him,
so I didn't see he was (bleep)

up, he might have wanted to just
spend quality time with his

girl, but I saw online...
KIM: But I saw it online.

COREY: That, you know, he
had a wild night.

But he missed out on a really
good-ass day.

KRIS: I was really excited
about Scott's trip to Miami

because I thought he would get
so much done and it would be

really productive.
It's really upsetting.

For his reputation, for my
reputation, and just for his

future in general.
He needs to step up and I worry

about if this is a pattern or
not.

I just can't even. ]] KIM: Yeah.

KRIS: Yeah.
COREY: I shortened the trip

by two days.
I didn't want to stay there

because there was nothing left
but partying.

I didn't need that.
He didn't need that.

I think with him, it's all about
his company.

His company bring out the best
or the worst in him.

He's never been (bleep) up with
me.

KRIS: Yeah. ♪ ♪

SCOTT: Kris? ]] KRIS: Yeah.

SCOTT: I was in the
neighborhood, so I figured I'd

stop over and say hi.
KRIS: Yeah?

Coming over intentionally to say
hello to me, and see if she's

pissed at me because I...
SCOTT: Also that.

KRIS: Misbehaved in Miami.
SCOTT: It wasn't so much

"misbehaved."
KRIS: It was to go away, and

go to Art Basel, and go look at
art...

SCOTT: Eh, I looked at some
art...

KRIS: For the rest of your life.

SCOTT: On my phone.
KRIS: But you invited Corey

to come to Art Basel...
SCOTT: I did.

KRIS: So you could look at
pieces for your home, and then,

you bailed.
If you're gonna go do Art Basel,

then, go do Art Basel.
Don't do Art Basel and pretend

like it's spring break.
SCOTT: I didn't think it was

the worst thing to be able to go
away for a few days and chill.

KRIS: But when you (bleep)
up, you don't just (bleep) up a

little bit, you (bleep) up.
Sometimes, these little

setbacks, you know, can cost you
dearly.

I get excited when you invite me
to be a part of your project.

I want to do that. SCOTT: Yeah.

KRIS: But I want to believe
that you're in %.

I don't want to be excited to be
doing this with my partner who's.

M.I.A. in Miami somewhere.
Get it?

SCOTT: Yeah. This is crazy.

As much as I understand that I
need to be responsible, I don't

know when I ever said that I
can't go out.

I'm doing my best in life, but
I still like to have fun when

I can.
I went out late, I slept in.

I don't really feel the whole
world should be crashing down on

me. When I asked Kris to be a

business partner, I didn't ask
for a high school principal.

KRIS: I want to make sure
that you are serious.

Okay.

♪ ♪

SCOTT: I didn't think it was
the worst thing to be able to go

away for a few days and chill.
KRIS: But when you... (bleep)

up, you don't just (bleep) up a
little bit.

You (bleep) up.

SCOTT: Yeah, but I really
haven't been.

KRIS: Sometimes these little
setbacks, you know, can cost you

dearly.
SCOTT: Man, it's rough out

here. KRIS: Listen, if somebody

isn't the voice of reason...
SCOTT: No, listen.

KRIS: Who else is gonna be?

SCOTT: I have nobody else...
to watch out for me, other than

you.
So I appreciate it, even though

it's hard sometimes.
KRIS: So I might bitch at you

from time to time...
SCOTT: I'll take it.

KRIS: And make you feel
uncomfortable or awkward, but if

I'm not gonna do it and tell you
what my observation is, I'm just

here to make you the best that
you can be.

And that's all I care about.
You know, the best dad, the best

friend, the best son...
SCOTT: Yeah. I agree.

KRIS: The best everything.
SCOTT: I love that.

KRIS: And you've got that in
you all the time.

And you just have to realize how
amazing you are.

SCOTT: For the longest time,
I've been going to Kris for

advice on... pretty much every
single thing.

But even though I do want her to
be a business partner, she needs

to realize that I really am in
a different place in my life and

I can have fun, still hold down
a job, a relationship, a life,

a family and all these different
things, and it's not just all

fun and games and things of that
nature.

I'm a good boy.
KRIS: You are such a good

little boy.
SCOTT: Oh, little baby, he's

been good! (Kris chuckles)

♪ ♪

KRIS: I used to tell you to
go to massage school.

KHLOE: I know.
KRIS: Because I thought you

had such good hands.
KHLOE: I do.

Well, everyone, like, when I
give them a massage.

Even when I, like, rubbed you
for a second, you're like, "Oh!"

KRIS: Okay. ]] KHLOE: Oh.

KRIS: While we're talking,
might as well make it good.

No, I know, it's like if you
have a gift, like, this is a

gift.
KHLOE: Yeah, but I don't...

KRIS: You could go to massage
school and have a backup plan.

KHLOE: I... I'm good.
KRIS: At least you could pay

the bills.
KHLOE: Well, I'm paying my

bills right now. It's good.
ALIABADI: You guys are early!

Hi. KHLOE: I am about to have a

checkup with Dr. A, and I am
bringing my mom so she can hear

it with her own ears and see it
with her own eyes... all of what.

Dr. A has to tell me.
Weighing myself.

ALIABADI: Let's do it.
And take your shoes off, yeah.

KHLOE: I am so nervous.
I mean, I don't want to gain "X"

amount of pounds.
And if I can avoid a C-section,

that's my goal.

(machine beeps)
ALIABADI: So you gained

pounds in weeks.
It's not bad.

KRIS: pounds? That's it?
KHLOE: No, but will you tell

my mom the health concerns?
She wants me to gain pounds.

KRIS: No, I don't.
KHLOE: Oh, don't lie now.

KRIS: I do not want you to
gain pounds.

KHLOE: Okay, wait.
KRIS: . I gained .

ALIABADI: No. No.
KRIS: No? So, .

ALIABADI: Yes. pounds.
KHLOE: I'm the one who's been

telling you she said between
to .

ALIABADI: Yes.
KHLOE: And you said, "Oh",

no."
ALIABADI: The biggest health

concern for me is I don't want
to deliver a big baby. (Laughs)

KHLOE: Yeah, and for my
vag*na or C-section or whatever.

ALIABADI: Hopefully it'll be
long and skinny.

KHLOE: Yeah. (Laughter)

Like Kendall. ]] KRIS: Yeah.

ALIABADI: But, honestly,
you've done so well with your

weight, so just keep up the
good work.

KRIS: I am breathing a huge
sigh of relief.

Khloe is the smartest girl and
will always take care of herself

and her baby.
So I'm gonna step back and show

her that I trust her.
ALIABADI: So this is the

little, cute head.
KHLOE: Oh, that's a big head.

KRIS: Aw. (Baby's heart b*ating)

ALIABADI: There's the heartbeat.

KRIS: I used to love that sound.

ALIABADI: On the Doppler?
KRIS: Yeah.

ALIABADI: It looks beautiful,
and it measures perfectly.

KHLOE: Dr. A tells me that
I'm on track for natural birth,

so I'm super excited about that.
And it's a testament to how

active I've been, and that I've
just been aware of the things

I'm putting into my body.
I think my mom hearing it

directly from Dr. A is just
really crucial for her to get it

through her head that this is
not me just making up random

information.
So I'm happy that my mom is

here. ALIABADI: All these little

girls, I love it. KRIS: I know.

KHLOE: So many.
ALIABADI: Girls are the best.

KHLOE: I only have more
weeks left?

So scary. ]] ALIABADI: Halfway.

KRIS: We're coming to Cleveland.

KHLOE: Yup.
KIM: On the next episode...

KHLOE: I'm not leaving the
premises.

KIM: That's ridiculous.
Operation "Teach Khloe not to"

"give a (bleep)" is underway.
KHLOE: Watch this.

(silly string spraying)
KIM: She's coming! Khloe!

We haven't resolved anything
with Kourtney.

KOURTNEY: She's just so
bitchy and entitled.

KENDALL: She told me she's
going out of town with the kids

for the holidays. ]] KIM: What?

KOURTNEY: I just can't handle
another big fight.

KIM: Speaking of the devil.