05x01 - Vine Covered Cottage

[bunniefuu]

(tense music)

- [Announcer] Robert Young, (moves into elated music)

and Jane Wyatt.

(kids laughing)

With Elinor Donahue, Billy Gray and Lauren Chapin

in Father Knows Best.

(knocking)

- Oh hi, Ralph, c'mon in sit down.

- I hope I'm not disturbing you, sir.

- No.

No, I'm just trying to figure out how to pay

for things we don't need with money I haven't got.

(audience laughs)

What's new with you Ralph?

- Well, sir, I want to talk with you.

I, uh,

I have a new job, sir.

- Well, good.

- The oil company I work for has

offered me the job of District Manager.

- Well, congratulations.- Thank you sir.

(both chuckling) (audience laughs)

The starting salary isn't fabulous,

but I could support a family on it.

- You could?

How bout trading jobs with me?

(audience laughs)

- Yeah. (both chuckle)

But I may need it myself. (audience laughs)

Because I, well I feel that when a fella

reaches a certain economic security,

he, uh,

well the natural pattern for man

is to--

- To travel in double harness?

- That's it, sir!

Travel in double harness.

Of course I realize, Betty's the one

who'll have to decide.

But, I'm just old-fashioned enough

to believe a fella should get her father's approval first.

If he can.

- Well,

Ralph, let me put it this way.

If the time has come forme to have a son-in-law,

I can't think ofanyone I'd rather have.

But, of course,marriage is not a thing

that you rush into.

- Oh, I know that, sir.

But I've given this a lot of thought,

and, well as far as I'm concerned,

there just couldn't be anyone but Betty.

And so, if you have no objections, sir,

well I'm going to ask her tonight.

- [Betty] Mother!

- Oh oh, there she is.

Excuse me, sir.

Here goes all or nothing.

(elated music) (door thuds shut)

- Why didn't you mend this thing out in the garage?

- It was too lonely out there.

Hey watch where you're going!

Don't knock this thing down.

- Ever since you got that car,

the house looks like a junk shop.

(audience laughs) - Well, here you are.

- Oh you better show me how to sew it, Mom.

- Oh no, you're notgonna trap me into that.

Besides I have to runnext door and get Kathy.

- Oh, Ralph, you're just in time

to help me with a little repair job.

(audience laughs) - No, he's not.

He came over to talk to me.

What was it you wanted to tell me, Ralph?

- Well, uh, (audience laughing)

do you have to iron that thing right now?

- Well, if I don't I won't have a thing to wear tomorrow.

- Yeah, except hercloset full of clothes.

(audience laughing) - You hush.

Now hurry up and tell me, Ralph.

I'm dying to know what it is.

- Well, uh, (tense music)

(head thudding) (audience laughs)

Uh, Betty I--- Ooh watch out,

you'll get burned.

- Look, there's a nice moon out tonight.

Let's go out and look at it.

- Moon? (Laughing)

Sound like one of those romantic g*ons

that come over to see Betty.

- No, Ralph, isn't like that.

- Um, why don't you go out and take a look at my car?

I just put some new dual carbs on it.

- Oh yeah?

Well I'd like to see it!

(audience laughing)

No, no, I better get this done.

- Look, I'll do this for you.

Go, go and see it! - Yeah, thanks!

(audience laughing)

- Now, Betty, listen to me. - Oh.

(Betty laughing)

- When a fella's starting out in life,

the one thing he needs more than anything else--

- Could you look in the refrigerator

and see if there'ssomething cool to drink?

(audience laughing)

- Yeah, sure.

(door clicking)

Betty, when a fella's starting out in life,

the one thing he needs more than anything

else in the whole world is-- - Hi Ralph!

(audience laughing)

- Let's you and I makesome popcorn, shall we?

Come on!

- Ignore her, Ralph.

I want her to get upstairs, take a bath, and get to bed.

- But I'm hungry! - I'll fix you something.

You run on!

Right now, I mean it.

- Oh, okay.

Good night, Ralph.

- Good night, Kathy.

- Look, you've been working all day Mrs. Anderson,

why don't you let me fix something for her?

(audience laughing) - Oh, no, I don't want

to bother you.

- Besides, you haven't opened that drink for me yet.

- Huh?

Oh, forgot.

- The opener is-- - I know.

- Oh, Mother, what I wanted to tell you was

Marge and I got the most wonderful idea.

Next summer, she and I are going to go

on one of those studenttours to Europe.

- To Europe?

- That sounds like a wonderful idea.

How much will that cost?

- I'm gonna start savingtoward it right now.

- But, Europe is a long way from here.

- Yes it is, and I can hardly wait.

We want to get off the beaten path,

not just see the tourist places.

Maybe even meet some exciting men.

Oh, Ralph!

You're spilling!

(audience laughing)

- Oh! - Who knows, Mother,

I may come home the wife of a prince,

or maybe even a bullfighter!

- You plan to get married over there?

(audience laughing)

- Well, if that's the only reason you're going to go,

I think you better callthe whole trip off.

- Yeah.

- Oh, probably no-one will even look at us,

but, well we can dream can't we?

- Well, that's my big news, what's yours?

(audience laughing) I mean, what was it

you were going to tell me?

(audience laughing) (tense music)

- Must not have been important.

I can't remember now.

- You can't remember?

- Well, maybe it'll come to me later.

I gotta get home, I'll see ya.

Oh,

here.

Well, good night Betty.

- Good night.

(bittersweet music)

- Oh, did Ralph leave?

- Yes, and I think something was wrong.

He acted so strange.

- That doesn't sound like Ralph.

- Well?

- Well what?

- Well you're certainly taking this matter-of-fact.

(audience laughing)

You don't look happy, orunhappy, or excited or anything.

Well what did he say to you,

and what did you tell him?

- Tell who? - Who?

Ralph!

- Are you young people getting so blase

that when a young man comes over

and proposes marriage to his girl--

- Propose marriage? - Ralph?

- Didn't he ask you?

- You mean that's what he wanted to tell me?

Well, how do you know?

- Well, he told me in the den.

(audience laughing)

He asked my approval,

and said he was coming right out to ask you.

- Oh no.

Oh poor Ralph, how I treated him.

I crowded him into the kitchen with everyone around,

raved on about marryingprinces in Europe.

Well, I must have hurt him.

I better call him.

- Call him?

But what would you say?

Well you can hardly say"Ralph, I understand

you came over to proposenow what about it?"

(audience laughing)

- You're right, I can't.

- But don't worry, if he's serious, he'll try it again.

- No, I doubt it.

Not after the way I've treated him.

It must have been awful for him.

- Poor guy.

He probably had a big speech all rehearsed.

- You know, I'm having a little

difficulty adjusting to this.

I can't seem to placeRalph in this new role.

- I'm having the same trouble.

I guess he's become suchan established figure

around here we all sortof take him for granted.

- Course, you couldn't find a nicer boy.

He's thoughtful and dependable, faithful.

- Congenial, intelligent.

- Hard working. - He certainly is.

His new job proves that.

- What new job?

- Didn't he tellyou that either?

He's going to become District Manager for the oil company.

- Oh really?

- Why that's wonderful.

- Well now I really do feel awful.

Here he was all primed for the big moment

and what did I do?

I crushed him!

I barricaded myselfbehind an ironing board.

How stupid can you be?

I can't just stand here and do nothing and let him hate me!

- Oh it's not that serious.

He's not that faint hearted.

He'll try again!

- But even if he does, that brings up a problem too.

What's my answer?

(uneasy music)

Ralph's the nicest boy I've ever known.

I always feel so comfortable with him.

But, I can't tell if I want to marry him.

But yet I know I don't want to lose him.

Oh, darn!

Why does life have to be so complicated?!

(audience laughing)

What am I gonna do?

- Well you've done all you can to try to talk to him,

which is what I'm sure he wanted you to do.

I think the thing to donow is to stop trying.

Let him come to you. (phone rings)

- Yes, but what if he doesn't?

Hello.

(exhaling) Yes, this is Betty.

Oh, hello.

It's Ralph's mother.

- I hate to bother you, Betty,

but I'm hoping to enlist your help

in trying to push a little sense

into the head of that boy of mine.

We musn't let him do this.

- Musn't let him do what?

- Didn't he tell you?

He's planning to turn down that fine job

and move out to the coast.

- To the coast?

- West coast I think.

- Um, did he tell you why he's going?

- No, he didn't say why he's doing this.

I doubt if he knows himself.

But I thought maybe you could talk him out of this,

because he thinks more of you than anyone in the world.

He'd listen to you.

- Well I don't know about that but I'll sure try.

Yes, I will, don't worry.

Yes, goodbye. (receiver clicking)

You see, mother, I really did hurt him.

- Why, what happened?

- Oh, the big boob is turning down that good job

and going out to the coast.

- Going to the coast?

- Yes, and this is all my fault.

I've gotta stop him but how?

When he won't even talk to me?

- Say, Bud, he likes you.

Maybe you could talk to him and stop him.

- Stop him?

I was thinking of going with him

so I could help drive that car.

(audience laughing) - Oh you!

- Thank you, sir.

- Ralph, why didn't you tell me

you were turning down that job,

and trying to leave town?

- Oh, I don't know.

Just haven't had time yet, I guess.

- You had time, and you and I've

always told each other all our plans.

- How'd you findout I was going?

- It doesn't matter how.

The point is why are you doing this?

- Oh, just felt I needed a change.

- It was because of thatnight in our kitchen

when I started talking about going to Europe.

- No it wasn't!

That's silly.

I just feel, like you do, that a person

oughta see the worldwhile he's still young.

That's just what I'm gonna do.

- But that new job. (audience laughing)

But that new job,

you've been workingtoward that for so long.

- Sure, but I got to thinking if I took that job,

I'd be stuck in this burg for the rest of my life,

and I'd get ideas about gettingmarried and settling down.

There I'd be with a millstone around my neck.

That's not for me.

Oh oh, I gotta deliver Mr. Ward's car.

Hey, Mike, watch the front will you?

Well, maybe I'll see you again

before I leave Betty.

Been nice talking to ya.

So long.

(tense music)

- How do you like that?

Been nice talking to you, Betty.

Oh, I could have hit him. (audience laughing)

- Now, don't take this too seriously.

I can name you a few times in my history

when I used practicallythe same dialog.

Only a little sappier. - But you know perfectly well

he doesn't really want to leave Springfield.

And that good job he's been working toward!

And to think I caused all this!

- Oh, now Betty, stop torturing yourself.

- But it's true!

I treated him like an old worn out shoe.

- Well it's just that he'd come to

seem like a member of the family.

We all treat him that way naturally.

- We shouldn't, especially not on the night

when he came to propose marriage.

- Well, maybe this all happened for a reason.

You need more time to think about this.

Marriage is something you should have no doubts about.

- I know it.

I'm all mixed up.

Life with Ralph used to be so,

simple and comfortable and fun.

Now I hardly know him,

and worst of all, he's leaving.

For good.

- Oh I doubt that.

If I know anything aboutthe young male mind,

I'll make you a bet that he-- (phone ringing)

See?

That's probably him now.(audience laughing)

- Hello?

Oh, Betty?

Just a minute.

It's Ralph's mother.

- Hello?

He has?

Oh no!

Well, how long ago did he leave the house?

Yeah, what time's that train leave?

- Train, isn't he taking his car?

Ask him if his car's for sale. (audience laughing)

- I sure will try, goodbye.

- Oh he did it, he did it!

Bud, lemme have the keysto your car and hurry!

Well, hurry!

Oh! (audience laughs)

(upbeat music)

Ralph.

Ralph, what are you doing?

- Oh, hello Betty.

- This is the craziest idea you've ever had.

Why didn't you tell me you were leaving tonight?

- Well--

- Lemme see yourrailroad ticket.

Oh, don't worry, I've got one.

I'm not fooling.

- I'm not doubting you, I just want to cash it in.

(audience laughs) - Cash it in?

- Yes, you are not leaving.

- I am too, I'm-- - Ralph.

I know why you're doing this,

but you can't throw everything away

just because that last night you came to see me.

Uh, let's move.

- I'll tell you one thing.

I'm not cashing in that ticket.

- Ralph I know why you came to see me

that night, Father told me.

And I know how you must have felt

when I dragged you in the kitchen with the family--

- No I don't think you know how I felt.

I doubt if you think I have any feelings at all.

- Ralph, that's not true.

- When I go to see a girl, I want her to know it.

I want something to happen to her.

I want, a few bells to ring.

- I don't blame you one bit.

- I might just as well be your brother,

and I don't want to be your brother.

I want to be the fellow in your life.

Not just a rug you walk on.

- I don't blame you.

- Not just a chair you sit on,

while you prattle aboutsome crummy prince.

- Some dopey bullfighter.

- Yeah!

(weighty music)

- I've treated you awful, Ralph.

I realize that now.

Don't you see that we--

Don't you see that we'vegone together so long,

we'd become accustomed to each other?

And, to me it was a comfortable feeling,

with you I could be myself.

It was real, and it was fun.

I didn't have to work up any artificial enthusiasm.

- [Conductor] All aboard!

- There's my train.

- [Conductor] All aboard!

- I have to go. - I don't want you to go.

- Betty, give me the ticket. - Now, wait.

If you want to be the fellow in my life,

why didn't you act like one that night at the house?

Why didn't you take me out in the moonlight and ask me?

- Well, what good would it have done me?

- Well, how do youknow if you didn't try?

- Because,

are you trying to tell me,

you would have said yes?

- Well, all I know is that,

I don't want you to go.

I don't want to lose you.

- Say that again.

- I don't want to lose you.

- Oh, man. (train bells ringing)

Talk about bells ringing. (audience laughing)

Honey this may not be aromantic moonlit spot,

but consider yourself betrothed.

(elated music) (audience laughing)

(bell ringing)(train whistle blowing)

(audience laughing)

(train chugging)(train whistle blowing)

(train chugging)(train whistle blowing)

(audience laughing) (both laughing)

She just missed her train. (laughing)

I hope she got as much out of missing it as I did.

(laughing)

Hey, listen, I looked at a little house the other day.

Let's go see if it's still for rent.

- Right now? - Why not?

Come on, it's not exactly a vine covered cottage,

but it has some beautiful weeds

climbing around the doorstep.

- What did you say?

They're going to get married! (audience laughing)

- Yes, Ralph justphoned from the station.

Isn't that wonderful?

- Well, yes, yes it is.

Um, they're still at the station, you say?

Looking at a house? (audience laughing)

Yes, yes I know the one.

Well, thank you for letting us know.

Yes. (receiver clicking)

- Looking at a house, you mean to rent?

- Jim, I, I know we shouldn't interfere.

But I know exactly what Betty's done.

She was so anxious to make amends for hurting Ralph

that she's agreed to this marriage.

Oh, she probably doesn'trealize that, of course.

- Maybe it wasn't that at all.

Maybe they really wanna get married.

- Well I think we better find out

for sure before it's too late.

I just feel that this is no way to go into a marriage.

(laughing)

- I can't reach the lock.

- I didn't think you could lift me.

Lift you?

The way I feel tonight I could throw you

into space and put you into firm orbit.

(audience laughing)

- You could stand to take off a coupla pounds, though.

- Oh, don't worry, I will as soon

as I start eating my own cooking.

(audience laughing) You will too.

Well, here it is.

What do you think of it?

(bittersweet music)

- Well it's really very nice.

- Course it doesn't look like much without furniture.

- Oh, sure, furniture will make a lotta difference.

- And then, later on, we'll be able

to afford something better.

- Sure!

But, I like this.

It's really very nice.

Well we can get some curtains.

- Yeah, curtains.

Maybe I can plaster up the cracks on these walls.

- Sure.

Be fun doing it.

- Yeah.

The floors aren't so hot.

But I could run a sander and--

- Rugs and all.

- Yeah, with rugs and all.

Oh, heck yes, we'll be, we'll be able

to fix this place up real--

Maybe we better look for another place.

- No, no, I like this fine!

- No you don't. - No, really, I do!

Course, naturally, right now it's

a little lonely, but, after--

- Kiss me.

It's not there, is it?

There are no bells ringing.

Why are we suddenly strangers?

We should be dancing around this room

like a pair of happy clowns,

instead of huddled here seeing

how really miserable this room is.

What happened?

How did we lose the wonderful thing we used to have?

- I don't know, but it doesn't seem like it should.

Maybe this is how everyone feels?

- I don't think so.

Let's get outta here before these

walls close in and crush us.

Let's go to the old malt shop,

where we've gone a thousand times,

and see if we can find our old selves.

The real ones, the ones that used to

talk and laugh and solve all the problems of the world,

and--(loud knocking)

(tense music)

(door squeaking)- Mother!

Oh, well what are you and Father doing here?

- Well, we, that is, your Mother thought--

(audience laughing) Alright, tell us how you,

I mean have you been-- - Married?

No.

No luck, Father.

Ralph just turned me down.

- No I didn't.

We just, well we just came to a very

sensible conclusion Mr. Anderson.

You know what we almost did?

We almost ruined a perfectly good friendship,

by getting married. (audience laughing)

- And now we're on our way to the malt shop

to try and find two old friends of ours.

I'll see you at home.

- Oh, here's the key.

Lock the door when you leave, and put it in the mailbox.

We won't be needing it.

- Well, there was a big trip for nothing.

- Yes, it was.

I feel a little silly now.

I wonder what made them realize that

marriage wasn't for them?

- Probably this awful place.

It would scare anybody out of marriage.

(window shade rustling)

- You know, but I don't think so.

If you remember,

this is almost exactly like

the first place you and I lived in.

- By George, it is.

But you know, I thought then it looked like a palace.

- So did I.(both chuckling)

I was sure the wallswere covered with gold.

- You remember that first evening

how we danced around on those shabby floors

as though they weremade of imported marble?

(both chuckling)(hopeful music)

There's the big difference, honey.

To people really in love,

things look so wonderful,

they have no more sensethan to get married.

(audience laughing) - Oh you!

(both laughing)

- How glad I am I had so little sense.

Say we'd better leave before they

start charging us rent.

(audience laughing)

(lights clicking)

(audience applauding)

(upbeat music)