05x02 - Be Kind to Bud Week

[bunniefuu]

(upbeat orchestral music)

- [Announcer] Robert Young

and Jane Wyatt.

With Elinor Donahue, Billy Gray, and Lauren Chapin

in Father Knows Best.

- You need what?

Examples of literary figures influenced

by the devotion of a brother or sister.

Hmm.

Did you try Charles Lamb?

- Lamb? No.

- Well, there was lifelong devotion.

How about William Woodsworth?

- He's the one I have so far.

You know, that was a wonderful relationship

he and his sister had.

Just listen to this.

"Woodsworth was blessedwith a companion

"to a lovely sister.

"Their long walks in the woods rekindled

"his love of nature,

"and during this association,

"he wrote some of his finest poems."

Gee, it must be wonderful to have a talented

and sensitive brother.

* Scoopy doop a dee dee bop

(audience laughing)

* Dop dee dee dee dep

* Skittly dee dee

* Dee dee dee dee dee

* Doo diddly doo dop

* Dooley oh dop

Ow.

(audience laughing)

Well, what are you staring at me for, cow face?

- Why did I have to get such a knucklehead

for a brother?

- Just lucky I guess.

But you're lucky I'm as dumb as I am

or I'd resent being called a knucklehead.

And if I resented it,

I might just strike back like this.

- [Betty] Oh, you're mussing my hair.

(gasping)

- How tragic.

(audience laughing)

- There's one brother relationship

you better not put in your essay.

- Isn't it awful the way we act?

Gee, I read about the Woodsworth's

wonderful companionship.

The walks they take in the woods together.

Can you imagine Bud and me taking a walk

in the woods together?

Can you just see that?

Can't you just picture that touching sylvan scene.

(audience laughing)

- What a gladsome day, dear sister.

How I've looked forward to this day.

Oh, look.

Oh, ecstasy.

You must see this, sister dear.

Nature's noble daisy.

(tranquil violin music)

Bright flower, whose home is everywhere,

bold in maternal nature's care.

That's from Woodsworth, you know.

(audience laughing)

- Yes, brother dear.

Only he could've written it.

- Oh, look yonder.

A host of golden daffodils.

Woodsworth's favorite.

(audience laughing)

I'm awfully sorry.

Oh, continue, please.

- Oh, well, I want you to have it.

- I've got it.

(audience laughing)

- Yes, that is alittle hard to imagine.

But Bud is hardly another Woodsworth.

- But why are we like that?

We should be enjoying each other.

He's the only brother I have,

the only one I'll ever have.

If anything happened to him,

it'd break my heart.

But how do I show my affection for him?

By calling him a knucklehead.

- Well, there are timeswhen that's a fairly

apt description of him.

- But it isn't right.

Time's flying by.

Before we know it, we'll have gone our separate ways.

And what'll we have to look back on?

Nothing.

At least nothing we wanna remember and cherish.

- I think there'll be a few good days to remember.

- There should be many good days.

I'm not going to sit by and let this happen anymore.

I'm going to do something about it.

Bud?

- Good luck.

- [Betty] Bud, I want to talk to you.

- Now how would you work this?

The hypotenuse of the triangle ABC is--

- I wouldn't know a hypotenuse from a hippopotamus.

- [Betty] Where are you, Bud?

I want to talk to ya.

- Now listen Mom, I didn't hurt her.

All I did was gently drop my jacket over her head.

I didn't hurt you.

- [Betty] Well, of course you didn't.

- And I've already told Mom about it

and she's on my side.

- Now wait, don't get me involved in this.

- There's nothing to get involved in.

Bud, I'm not mad at you.

I just want to be friends with you.

- Yeah?

- You're the only brother I have and I think we should

start to enjoy each other,

to discuss things together, to do things together.

- Sounds like a very good idea.

- Do you realize, Bud, that this moment will soon

be gone forever and never be lived again.

It can only be lived right now.

So that's why we should make the most of each moment.

I don't want to look back on these days

with regret after I'm gone.

- Gone?

Are you planning to leave?

- [Betty] Well, not now, but someday.

We'll all go our separate ways

and that day is gonna come all too soon.

- Oh, yes, that's very true.

Too true.

- So that's why we must...

(audience laughing)

so that's why we must make the most of

these last few years, Bud,

and have the kind of companionship that'll

always mean something to us.

Do you agree?

- Okay, what's your angle?

(audience laughing)

- Angle?

- Yeah, I'm not so dumb I don't recognize

the old soft soap routine.

Now what are you after?

What's your angle?

- Oh, Bud, there's no angle.

Don't be so suspicious.

I just want to enjoy you and everyone in the family.

I want to enjoy Kathy, too, and you, Mother.

- Well, I thought weall enjoyed each other.

- Oh, yes, but not really.

We don't take the time to.

Sometimes we hardly speak.

We breeze through a room and--

- Hi!

- There, you see.

Kathy, wait.

- I'm in a hurry.

- Oh, don't be.

I hardly get a chance to see you anymore, Kathy honey.

Come on, talk to me.

Tell me all you did today.

The fun you had and the jams you got into.

- How'd you find out?

- Find out what?

- About me borrowing your sweater?

(audience laughing)

- Oh, that's all right.

You and I should share more things anyway.

- But honest, I couldn'thelp what happened.

It just accidentallyslipped out of my hands

while we were watching them put the hot tar

on the pavement.

And well, here.

- Oh, no.

That's Betty's best gray sweater.

- [Kathy] I didn't mean to.

- Now remember now, youmust enjoy every moment

of Kathy and yours.

- Now Kathy, you know you're not supposed

to borrow Betty's things,

especially not withoutfirst asking permission.

- It's all right, Mother.

Don't worry about it, Kathy.

Accidents will happen.

years from now this won't matter at all.

- I'll be in later, sister honey.

We'll have a nice, longdiscussion on hot tar.

(audience laughing)

- Someday you'll knowwhat I'm talking about,

brother honey.

But it'll be too late then.

- [Kathy] I don't get it.

She had enough reason to pounce on me like an eagle,

but she was so nice.

- Well that's because she really is nice.

And also because she's suddenly become aware

of the greatness of time and the transitoriness of life.

- Gee, that's too bad.

What's transitoriness?

- I'll tell ya.

It means she's trying to put us in a trance

with her niceness in order to hook us

into doing some big, fat favor.

- Is that it?

- Mmm-hmm.

- Of course not.

Bud, why are you such a cynic?

- I'm not.

Just been around long enough you gotta keep

your guard up at all times,

especially where there'sa big sister concerned.

- Well I don't know about you,

but anything that'll get me out of a jam

like that sweater deal, boy I'm for it.

- I'm with you, Kathy.

- Oh, it looks like old Tallulah's got

the two of you fooled.

- Oh, Bud, stop it.

- No, you just wait and see.

She's got somethin' up her sleeve.

I'll bet it's a dilly, too.

(audience laughing)

- Good morning, Bud.

Just going down to start breakfast.

Anything special I can fix for you?

- You're gonna fi, you're gonna fix my breakfast?

- Sure.

- No thanks, I don't want to be obligated.

- Bud, there's no obligation.

Hurry up and get dressedand come on down.

I want to talk aboutgoing fishing with you.

- Fishing?

Are you kidding?

- No, I thought of thatbecause I know that's

something you like to do.

Sitting on some riverbank, under the trees,

it'll give us a good chance to talk.

- About what?

- Oh, anything, everything.

You know, I don't really know what your philosophy is,

what things you believe in.

- I tell you one thing I believe in, sister honey.

When you want somebodyto do something for ya,

I believe in coming right out with it,

with no buttering up job.

Now what is it you want from me?

- Oh, you're impossible.

- What's the matter?

Is young Woodsworth being pretty uncooperative?

- There's the most uncooperative thing

since the invention of the mule.

But I'm not giving up.

I'm gonna teach himbrotherly love if I have

to beat him up to do it.

(audience laughing)

Oh, good morning, Mother.

- Hello, dear.

- I was gonna get down first this morning

and fix breakfast.

- You were?

- Mmm-hmm.

This is better.

We can do it together and talk.

I'll set the table.

- Ah, Betty, you uh, you don't have

an ulterior motive, do you?

- [Betty] Now, Mother, not you, too.

- Well, you have to admit that all this

cheerful industry is a little unusual.

- Ah, I know that.

I'm ashamed that it is.

I'm trying to make up for lost time.

I realize that we won'thave too many more

mornings to do this together.

- I wish you'd stop talking like that.

You make me feel as though my life is practically over.

- What I mean is I'll soon be out of junior college

and then I'm going away to university.

Hey, that reminds me.

We should be hearing about that scholarship

any day now.

You know, the one for the university.

- Oh, yes, I hope you win that.

- Oh, so do I,

especially after fillingout all those forms

and applications and writing all those papers for it.

- Oh boy, hotcakes!

Just what I was wishing for.

- Wait a minute, Kathy.

Isn't that my belt you have on?

- Well, you said we were gonna share things from now on.

- Oh, yes, well just don't drag it through

any hot tar.

(phone ringing)- Oh, I won't.

- I think you better put that belt back.

Don't push a good thing too far.

Hello?

Oh hello, Clara.

- You can borrow any of my clothes.

- Thanks.

- You can't?

But you should be there.

It's an important meeting.

I see.

Ah, well just a minute.

Betty, Mrs. Sutter can'tcome to our meeting

at the church this afternoon because

her babysitter failed her.

Would you have time to do it for her?

- Oh, when would that be?

- Oh, just from : till about :.

- Yeah, I guess so.

- Hello,?

- I can't do it because I have to go rollerskating.

- Betty said she'd love to do it for you.

Fine, all right, don't mention it.

I'll see you this afternoon.

- Now there's another thing.

All these outside thingsmaking demands for us,

tearing us apart.

No wonder we can't even get acquainted with each other.

- Hey, I got it.

- Got what?

- The reason you wantme to take you fishing.

There must be somegood-looking game warden

you want to meet, right?

(audience laughing)

- Yeah, that's right.

I'm gonna marry him and we're gonna raise

a little hammerhead shark and name it after you.

(audience laughing)

Judy!

Judy, wait a minute.

Listen, something's just come up

and I'm in kind of a jam.

A man from the university is here in town

and I'm supposed to see him at :.

- Is he good-looking?

Who is he?

- I'll explain it all later.

The point is, I'm supposed to go over to the Sutter's

to babysit right now, but I can't do it.

So would you be a real doll--

- Oh, gee, Betty, I can't right now.

- But I have to see this man.

Oh, look.

Could you be at the Sutter's at :

and relieve me just long enough for me to go see him

and then I'll come right back.

- Okay, I can do that.

- Oh, Judy, I love you forever.

Don't fail me now.

- Oh, don't worry, I won't.

(audience laughing)

(phone ringing)

- Hello?

Oh, hello Judy.

Betty's at the Sutter'shouse babysitting.

- I know that.

I want to talk to your mother.

- Well, she's not here right now.

- Oh, she isn't?

Well, then listen very carefully, Kathy.

I was going over to theSutter's so that Betty

could leave to meet a man from the university at :,

but my car broke down and I can't get there in time.

So will you run overthere and then tell her

that she's gonna have to get someone else?

- But I'm supposed to go rollersk,

well can't you call herand tell her yourself?

- I tried, but the Sutter's phone is out of order.

So you hurry over there, Kathy.

This is very important.

- Oh, all right.

Oh, darn it.

- Oh hi, Squigy.

- You're just in time, Bud.

- For what?

- Betty needs you to go over to the Sutter's house

and take her place babysitting.

- She what?

Wants me to babysit?

(laughing)

Oh, so now it comes out.

The big payoff of be kind to Bud week.

I knew she was up to somethin'.

- Well you better hurrybecause she has to leave there.

- Yeah? Why?

Where is she going?

- She has to leave to meet some university fellow.

- Oh, so little brotherhoney is supposed

to do her work for her while she sashays off

on some big time date.

- So you'll do it, won't you?

- Oh, you know I will.

- Thanks.

- I can hardly wait to get over there.

Let's see now.

What babysitting equipment will I need?

Package of safety pins.

(audience laughing)

A dozen diapers.

(audience laughing)

Two pounds of peplum.

(audience laughing)

That sweet, unsubtle big sister of mine.

Well, she's gonna have to use a better grade of wool

if she expects to pull it over the eyes of brother honey.

(whistling)

- Hi, honey.

Where have you been?

- Why, Dad, I didn't know you cared.

- Oh, I thought you weremy ever-loving wife.

Where is she, anyway?

I'm hungry.

- Some church meeting, I think.

- Oh, yeah, that's right.

- Oh, thanks.

(audience laughing)

- You should've been here earlier, Dad.

Old Tallulah finally tipped her mitt.

- Yeah, what do you mean?

- Well, Betty's beadorable to Bud campaign

turned out to be a sugarcoated trick

to get me to do ababysitting job for her.

- You babysit?

Not with a baseball bat, I hope.

- I wouldn't fall for a trick like that,

especially not when she just wanted to

gallivant off on a date with some guy from out of town.

- Out of town?

Who?

- Oh, search me.

Some guy from up at the university.

- Well, wait Bud.

You mean you just left her in the lurch?

- Well, sure.

And it's high time we teach her a lesson in honesty, too.

If she had just come right out and asked me

instead of that sneaky buttering up job,

well, I might even have done it.

Thanks, Dad.

(audience laughing)

And she even used Kathy to ask me.

Didn't have nerve enoughto ask me herself.

That girl, I hope this'll teach her a lesson.

- Well, wait Bud, I, oh, hi honey.

- Sorry I'm late, but these meetings always

take twice as long as they should.

- Nah, no use making up any excuses.

I've already decided to fire you.

- Good.

Will you get rid of that for me?

- I've been wanting to get rid of that

for a long time.

(audience laughing)

- Oh, hello Betty.

How'd things go at the Sutter's?

- Mother, I've lost all faith in humanity.

- Oh now, if you'restill worrying about Bud

not understanding--

- Oh, it's not Bud this time.

It's Judy.

The one girl I was sure I could always depend on.

- Judy?

What did she do?

- She just caused me to miss out on

that scholarship, that's all.

- Miss out on the scholarship?

How?

- Well, I found out today that it has boiled down

to one other girl and myself.

So a professor from the university,

Dr. Runeberg, came here to Springfield

to interview each one of us.

My appointment was at :.

- Well, Betty, but you were at the Sutter's.

- That's right, but Dottie promised faithfully

that she'd come overthere so I could leave,

but she never showed up.

- She didn't?

- I waited and waited.

I tried to call the college,

but the Sutter's phone was out of order.

I finally got a neighborlady to come in,

but by the time I got to the college,

the interviews were over and Dr. Runeberg had left.

How could Judy do a thing like that to me?

- Well, gosh, didn't Bud come over there?

- Bud?

- Sure.

You see, Judy's car broke down

and she couldn't get you on the phone,

so she called me and I told Bud

and he said he'd go over there.

(soft instrumental music)

- This hurts worse thanlosing the scholarship.

- [Margaret] Well, this Dr. Runeberg,

where is he now?

- [Betty] Back at the hotel.

But they told me it was no use to try to see him.

I missed my chance and that's it.

- [Jim] Bud?

Bud, come here a minute.

(upbeat orchestral music)

- Yes, Dr. Runeberg is registered here,

but he just left.

- Left?

Oh, you mean left town?

- No, just left the hotel.

- Well, uh, do you know where he went?

It's important.

I gotta find him.

- I believe he said he was going to the steam bath.

- Bath?

Why, it's not Saturday night.

(audience laughing)

- No, but he's European and they must

have their steam bath.

- Well, where isthis bath chart?

- Well, now there are three of them.

One is nine blocks downthat way on th Street.

- Yes, Dr. Rudeburg is here,

but I can't very well call him out to talk to you now.

He's in the steam room.

- Oh, I better go and see him then.

- Hold it!

(audience laughing)

- I gotta see him!

- You can't go in therewith your clothes on.

- Huh?

- There's only one way you can go in there.

- Yeah, how's that?

(audience laughing)

(playful instrumental music)

(audience laughing)

How are things up at the university?

- What university?

- The univers...

Aren't you Dr. Runeberg?

- No, no.

(light playful music)

(clearing throat)

(light playful music)

- Oh, excuse me.

It's kind of crowded in here.

Are you Dr. Runeberg?

- Yes, yes, that is right.

Do I know you?

- Well, no.

But you know my sister Betty.

Well, that is you would've,

only she got stuck at this babysitting job,

so naturally when her appointment came up--

- Okay, Professor.

I'm ready for you.

Come on.

- Yes, all right, I'm coming.

Eh, nice to have met you.

- Oh, well doctor.

(light playful music)

(audience laughing)

Excuse me, Dr. Runeberg,

but I want to talk to you about--

- Ah, you can climb upon the other table, son.

I'll call Eddie for ya.

Eddie!

- Well, I don't want a rub down.

- Oh, then back to the steam room.

- Well, I don't want to go back to the steam room.

I just want to--

- Better get dressed.

- Well, I want a rub down.

- Okay, climb up.

Eddie, we got a customer.

- All right, Max, I'm comin'.

Yes, sir, this one?

- Yeah, but take it easy on him.

He's a new one.

- All right.

(audience laughing)

- Oh.

Dr. Runeberg.

Aye!

(audience laughing)

About my sister Betty Anderson.

She was one of the two girls tied

for the university scholarship.

- Oh, yes, I know.

She was the one who failed to appear

at the interview today.

- Yes, that's right.

But you see, she...

- [Professor] That was unfortunate.

She should've been there.

- But she didn't...

(audience laughing)

- Such a thing is inexcusable.

There was so much at stake.

The winning of the scholarship

and I make a special trip here just for the interviews.

- But she..

(audience laughing)

- [Professor] I waited for her and I waited.

And I could wait no longer.

- But it wasn't her fault.

It was my fault she couldn't get there.

Actually, she's always on time.

Very dependable.

Very smart, too.

She's the smartest one in the whole family.

(audience laughing)

She likes to discuss things like (laughing)

and what they believe (laughing),

and the transitoriness of life.

(audience laughing)

- You just talk too much, kid.

- Well, I got a lot to talk about.

I got a great sister.

(audience laughing)

- That's a keen way for a boy to feel about his sister.

I remember my adorable sister.

Cheated me out of $.

(audience laughing)

Only you would have a sister like that.

I think this boy's sister should have

another crack at that scholar business.

- Yeah, how about it, Dr. Runeberg?

- I would very much liketo accommodate you, son.

But unfortunately I have already phoned

my report to the scholarship board at the university.

They make the decision.

I'm sorry.

(sighing)

(solemn instrumental music)

- So you can see,

under those circumstances,

it would be an awful injustice if Betty

missed out on her chanceat the scholarship.

Don't you think so?

- Son, you should studyto become a lawyer.

You make out a mighty strong case for your client.

- Well, then do you feel that--

- I'm thinking.

I'm thinking.

(audience laughing)

- Well look, Gippy, if Bud does show up,

send him home right away.

Thanks.

No, he's not over there, either.

Now where do you suppose he could--

- Hey, where's Betty?

- Just a minute, young man.

Where have you been?

- Taking a bath.

Betty, I got a surprise for you.

- Look, I've had enough of your surprises for one day.

- This is a better one.

Look!

- Who's he?

- It's Dr. Runeberg from the university.

Come on, I'll introduce ya.

He's gonna give you an interview for the scholarship.

- What?

- Well, I think that covers just about

everything, Miss Betty.

It's been very enjoyabletalking with you.

- Well, do you,

do you think I have a chance?

- That of course is up to the scholarship board.

But my report will not hurt your chances.

- Well, it was awfully nice of you to come

here for the interview.

How can I ever thank you?

- Don't thank me.

Thank that brother of yours.

You should've heard thearguments he engulfed

me with at the baths.

(chuckles)

Yes, he is quite a staunch one.

It is not often nowadays that one

finds such a strong attachment between brother and sister.

It reminds me of the high regard

Woodsworth and his sister had for one another.

(audience laughing)

I wonder if I could use your telephone

to make a long-distance call.

I should call the university and amend my report

before it is too late.

Oh, yes, yes, of course.

The phone's right in there.

- Thank you.

- Well, Woodsworth.

(audience laughing)

- Oh, Bud.

Oh, Bud, now you're exactly the kind of brother

that I want.

Gee, what you did means more to me

than the scholarship even.

Oh.

- Oh!

- What's going on here?

- Oh, now Bud.

This is no time to go back to being a knucklehead.

- Wait, call me that again.

- Knucklehead.

- That's more like it.

I feel better now.

(audience laughing)

(audience applause)

(upbeat orchestral music)

(synth music)