05x05 - Frank's Family Trees

[bunniefuu]

- [Narrator] Here are Robert Young,

and Jane Wyatt

with Elinor Donahue, Billy Gray and Lauren Chapin

in Father Knows Best.

(pounds stapler)

- How many of theseagendas does Father need

for his convention?

- I don't know how manyinsurance men they're expecting,

so I guess we better do the whole batch.

- How come Father got stuck with putting this whole thing

on single handedly?

- Oh, he's not doing it all.

But since the conventionis here in Springfield,

he's the host, and you know him.

(playing bongos)

He always wants to do the best job possible.

- Well, I guess being a perfectionist is all right,

but sometimes I'm glad

Do you have to pound onthose bean pots all day?

- They're not bean pots,and I'm not pounding.

- Well, whatever it is,why don't you stop it,

pitch in here and help.

- Well, I'm too busy right now.

But I can tell you that you're doing that all wrong.

Mom, if you'll arrange the stacks so they end up

next to Betty, you goboom, boom, boom, boom.

- Good idea!

Why don't you show us how to do it?

- Oh no!

- Go right ahead.

I have to get the names printed

on the delegates' badges anyway.

(doorbell rings)- But Mom!

I have to answer the door.

- Never mind, now do it.

- Get to work.

- Why Fronk, how are you?

(speaks in foreign language)

- Oh, we haven't seen you at all lately.

- Well, I have been working

in this big garden nursery, you see.

- Well, that's wonderful.

- And they have given me a vacation for one weeks.

- Good.

- And that gives me a good chance to put your yard

in first class shape for free of charge.

(laughs)

- Well, that's very sweet of you, Fronk,

and our yard certainly needs it.

But that wouldn't be much of a vacation.

- Oh, it be first class vacation.

My bosses say, "Fronk, go have a good time."

So the best good time I can have

is to do something for the family of my buen amigo,

the Senor Anderson.

- Fronk!

Fronk, Fronk, where you been?

- Hello, Kathy. I wasjust telling your madre,

I'm gonna fix up your place this week.

- Well hooray, I'll help you!

- Now Fronk, that's wonderful of you,

but you deserve a nicer vacation.

Why don't you take a trip

or go visit some of your family?

- Oh, I have no place to take a trip to,

no one to visit.

- Well not anyone?

- Not anyone?

- No.

(speaks in foreign language)

Well, I must start firstthing por la mañana.

That okay?

- Well, all right. But we'll pay you.

- Oh, no.

That would be like work.

What are you trying to do, cheat me out of my vacation?

(telephone rings)

- Well, you win, but I still say

- [Betty] Mother, telephone.

It's Father.

- Oh, excuse me, Fronk.

These are busy days.

We're having an insurance convention next weekend.

- Well, okay.

(speaks in foreign language)

(light music)

- [Kathy] Betty, did you know that

Fronk's all alone in the world?

No family at all?

Isn't that awful?

- [Betty] Gee, that's a shame.

- [Kathy] Oh, I feel so sorry for him.

It makes me feel sad inside.

- Oh say, if you havetime, you might run down

to the stationery store

and find some place cards we could use for the banquet

Friday night, the welcome banquet.

- Oh, I'll take time.

- It sure would help me out.

That's the one thing I slipped up on.

I've to everything else for the banquet,

caterers, programs, entertainment.

- Daddy, I've been wondering.

Could we adopt Fronk?

- Adopt Fronk?

I don't know why not, we practically have already.

- You see, he has no family, and

(Fronk singing)

- Oh, there he is now.

- Sounds good to hear old Fronk out there again.

Well, have to run, honey.

See you tonight.

- Bye, dear.

(singing)

(speaks in foreign language)

- Fronk, how would you like to be adopted by our family?

(laughs)

- I pretty big size little baby for to adopt.

I would not fit the cradle.

- No, I'm serious, Fronk.

You can't go through life with nobody.

- Oh, do not be sad for me.

When I see you sad, it makes me sad.

- Well, gee, when I think about you

not having any family or relatives

- Oh, now look, Katita.

Listen to me.

I do have relativos.

- You have?

- Sí, nice big family of them.

Sisters, uncles, cousins.

- But yesterday, you said you had nobody

you could take a trip to visit.

- Oh, well, that's true.

You see, I cannot take a trip to visit

nobody in no other place,

because they are not in no other place.

They are here.

- In Springfield?

- Sí. Now you feel better?

- Oh, yes.

Where do they live?

- Oh, nice big house.

That way.

- Why don't you live with them?

Then you wouldn't be alone.

- Oh, I do not want to poke in my nose.

- Do you go see them?

- Si, all the time.

I can hardly get awayfrom any of any of these

Tio Fronk this and Tio Fronk that.

- Who's Tio?

- Me.

That's word for "uncle."

Uncle Fronk.

- Oh, show me a picture of them.

- Oh, I no have picture.

- You don't?

I thought men always carried pictures of their children

and nieces and nephews in their wallets

so they can brag about them.

- I guess that's my trouble.

I no have wallet.

- Well now listen, Fronk.

I'm gonna give you a picture of us kids,

and I want you to give it to your family

and get me one of them in exchange.

And be sure and do it. Understand?

- Okay, Senorita Boss.

(light music)

- The little one is happy.

That is importante and good.

- Oh, now Kathy, do stop making messes.

I just don't have time this week

to pick up after you.

- Oh, I'll straighten up.

I'm trying to find a picture of Betty, Bud and me

so Fronk can give it to his family.

- His family?

- Yes, he's got lots of relatives.

Oh, here's the one I want.

- But he said he had no relatives.

- Well, what he meant he didn't have any

in any other town to go visit.

He says they live here.

- They do?

Why do you suppose he never mentioned it before?

- Probably thought we didn't care.

But I do!

That's why I want a picture of them.

If they're anything like Fronk said,

they're the most wonderful people in the whole world.

- Now don't loiter.

Hurry to school.

- Here it is.

Now you be sure and get me a picture of your family.

See you later. Bye.

(upbeat music)

(speaks in foreign language)

- Now, I can just as well print the names

on these place cards.

- No, Miss Thomas can do it. (telephone rings)

I've imposed enough on you already.

Boy, I'll be glad when this thing is over.

Hello?

Oh, hi George.

What?

But, that was all arranged.

What kind of a businessare they running?

Okay, I'll try to straighten it out.

Goodbye.

Oh, nothing but trouble.

- Now what?

- Oh, the outfit that's catering the welcome banquet

claims we told them Saturday night instead of Friday night

and they're booked up for Friday night.

- But they can't do that to you.

- Well, they're doing it.

You know, this one sillybanquet's causing me

more trouble than all the rest of the convention

put together.

- Daddy, is Fronk here yet this morning?

- How should I know?

- Don't bother your father now.

He has problems.

- You said it.

Don't get too far from the phone today.

I may need you.

- I'll be here.

And don't worry.

Relax.

- I'll be glad when Dad is through with this convention.

He doesn't seem like himself.

- Well, he has a lot to do and people keep letting him down.

(Fronk singing) - Oh, there's Fronk!

I hope he brought the picture.

(singing)

(surprised gasp)

- Okay, Fronk, where is it?

- What did you say, Katita?

- The photograph of yourrelatives. Where is it?

(speaks in foreign language)

- Well, they could not find one.

- Not one?

- Well, not in so short a time.

But instead of the fotografia,

they send you something else.

Look here.

Maracas.

And look here.

- Are these all for me?

- For you, for your brother, for your sister.

And look at this.

This is

(speaks in foreign language)

- Oh, these are wonderful.

But gosh, I can't takepresents from strangers.

- Since when are my relativos strangers?

I know them well.

Besides, they would not like it if you did not take this.

So, with the

(speaks in foreign language)

in your hair, and a nice

(speaks in foreign language)

you will look like

a "senorita de moda," a lady of fashion.

- Now you just have to get me a picture of them.

They're even nicer thanI thought they'd be.

You just have to, you understand?

- Well, I will try.

If I can.

- Mommy!

Hey, look at what Fronk's relatives sent us.

- Fronk's relatives?

Why should they do this?

- Because I sent them a picture of us.

And because they're nice.

- Hey, let me see those.

Ha ha!(shakes maracas)

(sings)

(claps rhythmically)

- Presents from Fronk's relatives.

And look at this.

- Wow, for heaven's sake, can they afford to do this?

- Maybe they're rich.

- Oh no, they're probably just like Fronk.

Warm hearted, generous, polite.

Right, Pancho?

- Sí.

(sings)(shakes maracas)

(shakes maracas)

- Fronk!

(engine rumbles)

You're late this morning, Fronk.

I've been waiting for you.

- Oh, please do notfire me, Senorita Boss.

I had to stop and pick up the fertilizer and the peat moss.

- Well, all right.

Where is it? The picture?

- The picture?

- Let me see.

- Sí, the picture.

- Finally.

Oh, you got a wallet.

(speaks in foreign language)

- Us men all got walletsto carry pictures

so we can brag on our relativos.

What I have here, this is not a very good fotografia.

It is better than nada.

- Oh, they got their picture in the paper.

What for?

- Oh, I forget.

Sometimes I do not readthe ingles so good.

- Oh, they're pretty.

The Quintero family.

Is that how you pronounce it?

- Almost.

"Quintero family."

- But that's not the same as your name.

- Well

this is my brother-in-law.

This one.

And this is his

(speaks in foreign language)

This is Elena, and this one is Pablo.

- Well, where are the other ones you told me about?

- They are too short for the camera.

Too low.

- They look sortof like dancers.

Are they?

- Si. They dance like a bird.

They dance, and they sing, and they play.

They have very big talent.

Runs in the family.

- How come you didn'tget any of that talent?

- What do you mean how come?

Let me show you something.

I will show you how come.

(speaks in foreign language)

Look at this.

- You play that?

- Like a bird.

(guitar)

(sings in Spanish)

(applause)

- That's very good.

(speaks in foreign language)

- But it is nothing.

I have the voice of a frog.

- Oh no, it's good.

Sing some more.

- No, now is time for work.

And that I can do.

- And you have to get to school, so come on.

- But first look at Fronk's family.

- How handsome.

Oh, please thank them for the nice gifts, Fronk.

(speaks in foreign language)

- See you later, bye.

- Si, adios.

(sings)

- Mother, look what just arrived from the florist.

Father sent you a corsage to wear

to the big banquet tonight.

- Oh, how nice.

- With all the thingsFather has on his mind,

I didn't think he'd have time to be so thoughtful.

- Well, it's times like this that the world thoughtful

really means something.

- Hi, honey.

- Hello, dear.

- You about ready?

We ought to leave as soon as possible.

I have to be there early tonight.

- Well, I'm ready.

I just have to put on this dress

as soon as I finish pressing it.

Oh, and thanks for the lovely corsage.

(laughs)- Yeah!

- Did you finally et allyour problems solved?

- Finally, but what headaches.

First it was that trouble with the caterers.

Then the public addresssystem went out.

Then they delivered the programs to the wrong address.

Oh, I tell you this banquet is doomed.

I'm almost afraid to go down there tonight.

By the way, Betty, wouldyou wrap this up for me?

- What's this?

- Oh, just a gag we're going to award

to one of the delegates tonight.

- Most handsomedelegate? Who gets this?

- Old Baldy McDougall.

Wrap it up kind of silly.

Use, oh I know, use old newspaper

but put a big bow on it, okay?

- Boy, Father's certainly keyed up tonight.

- Well, it's understandable. This is a big undertaking

and so many things have gone wrong.

- Well, it'll soon be all over now.

- My gosh, what's that old thing?

- It's for the banquet tonight.

- Say, would you runup and look in that box

of old Christmas wrapping and see if you can find

some ribbon and a big bow?

Oh my goodness.

It's that same picture of Fronk's relatives.

- What?

Let me see that.

- They're famous. Just listen to this.

The Quintero family, who recently completed

a successful concert tour of the East

return to Springfield tonight

for a week's engagementat the Orpheum Theater.

Oh, it was two weeks ago.

We missed them.

- Oh, darn it.

Did you hear that, Mommy?

They're famous.

- Well, Fronk's certainly modest about his family.

Never mentioned a word about this.

Would you put away the ironing board for me, please?

- He told me all about them.

Says that they can sing and dance.

Hey, we better cut that article out of the paper.

- I'm doing it.

- Did you find everything?

Need any help?

(telephone rings) - No, I'm doing fine.

We better step on it, though.

I told George that I'd meet him at the banquet hall

a little before six.

Hello.

Oh, hi George.

What?

Oh, you're ribbing me.

But this just couldn't happen.

, huh?

Well, look, I'll call you back.

I need a couple minutes to pull my brains together.

That is, if I have any left.

Okay, George.

- Now what?

- Honey, you wouldn't believe this.

The magician we hired fortonight is in bed with the flu.

His temperature's .

- Oh no.

- Daddy, have you seen

- Kathy, don't bother your father now.

He's got trouble.

- Again?

- No entertainment. Now we have nothing.

- Well, if you haven't got anything, you just haven't.

It's certainly not yourfault that he got sick.

- But it's on the program.

They're expecting it.

- Daddy, why don't you get Fronk's relatives?

- Kathy, please!

- Oh, I just hate to go down there tonight and face them.

- Didn't you hear me?

Why don't you get Fronk's relatives to entertain.

- Fronk's relatives?

- Say, maybe that is an idea.

They're professional entertainers.

- Sure. Look here.

They sing and dance.

- Well gosh, I didn't know this.

You suppose I could still get them?

- Well, according to that article,

they're back in town right now.

And they finishedtheir local engagement.

- Man, what a break that would be

if I could get them.

Is Fronk still here?

- I think so.

Oh no, he's just leaving.

- Well, stop him.

Fronk, Fronk!

Wait, don't leave.

Oh, if this only works.

(upbeat music)

Fronk, Fronk, will you do me a favor?

Will you turn that thing off?

(speaks in foreign language)

That's better.

Now, will you do me a favor?

A very big favor?

(speaks in foreign language)

- For you, senor, I would do anything.

You are the best amigo

I have in the whole world. - Fine, fine.

Now listen.

I'm in a real spot.

I need some entertainment for the banquet tonight.

And I need it bad.

Now, do you think you could talk your relatives

into furnishing the entertainment for me?

- My

Well

- They'd get paid, of course.

Fronk, I'd be indebted to you for life.

Come on in and call them right now.

- Well, they no have telephone.

They just moved.

- Oh, don't tell me that.

Well look, you drive over there as fast as you can,

and get to a phone and let me know what they say.

Explain to them how desperate I am.

My reputation is at stake here.

If I fail tonight, I'm a dead duck.

So Fronk, do your best.

I'm depending on you. - Go get 'em, Fronk!

You can do it.

- I've got to finish dressing.

I'll wait for your call.

- Senor!

- Why doesn't that Fronk call?

I'm running out of time.

Margaret, hurry. We have to leave.

- He'll call, Daddy.

I know he will.

- Yes, but when?

I can't wait much longer.

- Oh Mother, you look wonderful.

- Yeah, not bad, Ma.

- Thank you.

(doorbell rings)Hasn't Fronk called yet?

- Hello.

- Fronk, why didn't you call?

It would've saved time.

- Well, senor, I have something to tell you.

- Okay, but first, tellme about your relatives.

Will they do it?

- That's what I have to tell you. I...

I don't even know them.

- What, you don't know your own relatives?

= They are not my relatives.

I just made them up

out of my head.

- You made them up?

- Well, you see, littleKatita was so sad

because I no have family, so

So then, one thing led to another

(sad music)

- We better go, honey.

- Here are the badges, Dad. - Oh yeah. Good night, kids.

- We won't be awfully late.

Good night, Fronk.

- Senor, please permit me to make the

(door slams) explanation.

(sad music)

I think I do a very bad thing.

- I'm afraid so, Fronk.

- Boy, you sure let Dad down.

- You see, Katita.

When you find out that I have a family,

it makes you happy.

Is that not so?

When the others find outthat I have a family,

they are happy, too.

Everybody happy.

So I figured if things make people happy,

then it must not be wrong.

We have a saying.

(speaks in foreign language)

It is better to please

But I see I have not pleased no one.

Worst of all, I have hurt the best friend

I have in the world.

Senor Anderson.

(speaks in foreign language)

I have done a very bad thing.

(crowd laughs)

- And now to introduce the evening's entertainment,

here's a man who's donesuch a monumental job

in handling all the arrangements

for this year's convention.

Our host, Jim Anderson.

(applause)

- I still don't know how quite to explain this thing.

- Just don't worry.

It's not your fault theway things turned out.

(applause)

- Thank you.

I hope you've enjoyed your dinner tonight

and our two very excellent speakers

because

I don't quite know how to put this.

I believe the usual expression is,

"Due to circumstances

"over which" - [Fronk] Psst! Psst!

- "Over which wehave no control"

(guitar strumming)

("Cielito Lindo")

(applause)

(speaks in foreign language)

- The Senor Anderson was right.

Due to circumstances over which you no have control,

you are going to have to listen to me sing.

(laughter)

(speaks in foreign language)

I am

(speaks in foreign language)

the Troubador with the Voice of the Frog.

(laughter)

(guitar plays)

- Senor, you had better go sit down

or you'll be in the act.

(speaks in foreign language)

This is a little song I learned

when I was a little muchacho.

Americano translation, "little monster."

(laughter)

(plays guitar)

("Que Voy Hacer Espinosa Paz")

- How did this all come about?

- I don't know, but I'm all for it.

I didn't know he could sing.

- Look what he's wearing.

Aren't those our old drapes from the den?

(sings and plays guitar)

- By George, he has oneof my shirts on, too.

And my trousers!

(sings)

(applause)

- Now, I would like to introduce

my fine, pretty and talented family.

(speaks in foreign language)

- Family?

But I thought he said he didn't have one.

- Look.

(guitar strums)

(bongos play)

- This is Pablo, my

my great-grandfather.

(crowd laughs)

(playing music)

- This is Elena, my mother-in-law.

(laughter)

(playing music)

(shakes maracas)

(laughter)

And this is little Katita.

(clapping)

(speaks in foreign language)

(all playing)

("La Cucaracha")

(yelling and cheering)

- Bravo!

(applause and cheers)

(all playing)

- Okay, espanioles, just tell me this.

Whose big fat idea was this anyway?

- Oh, no me, senor.

Tortilla tamale maraca Toledo.

- No, senor.

(speaks in foreign language)

- No, it wasn't me.

I don't know who thought it up,

but Fronk was the one who taught us what to do.

- What can I say, Fronk,you saved my neck.

(uplifting music)

- Do not say nothing, senor.

Just forgive me.

And thank you for the use of your family.

It's the best one I ever have.

(applause)

(upbeat music)