[Music]
all right bill everything looks okay
you've been flossing absolutely every
day don't lie to me bill okay never oh
yeah suck my teeth after every meal
doctors are your wife's on the phone oh
okay be back in a minute to take some
pictures of your teeth he already took x
rays I know these are Repole roids that
we use to scare the other patients into
flaws hey I'm a tooth model I heard
there's a positional thing up in the
Michigan Avenue office and dr. Gruber's
deciding between me and colleagues Oh
Colleen the cute blonde with the dimples
who only makes me love you more each day
I really hope I get this promotion and
be closer to home in more money okay as
a businessman I'm gonna give you some
important career advice put your nose to
the grindstone by grindstone I mean his
butt brown-noser I'd like to think I
could get this promotion on my hard work
in marin hard-working merit been in
America long all right all right we both
know you deserve this promotion but the
world isn't always fair you gotta have
some kind of edge I know find something
in common with him what well how about
ballet I mean look at all these ballet
posters okay first of all that's opera
second of all that's all I know about
that you don't have to know about
something to talk about it just last
week I was talking about someone about
World w*r two I forget who it was but I
threw around a few key words they
thought I was a genius yeah that was
Lauren and she's got a D on that paper
all right bill you're free to go I see
in six months or six thousand Milk Duds
whichever comes first honey's on the
dugs barbarous well what a wonderful
opera Judy you remember the first time
we saw that yeah bye Billy told me late
for work I didn't know you guys were
opera fans oh well Judy's really the fan
she got me into it although I do really
enjoy the libretto really how kidding
what's your favorite
what why don't you take a guess all
right stuff I traviata man you're good
well I should be going you two probably
have a lot to talk about we do now thank
you honey don't mention it ve got home
figaro figaro that's going to be going
around in my head all day
[Laughter]
[Applause]
[Music]
five four three two one yeah victory
John Judy's hometown hey honey how would
go after I left oh great thanks for
convincing my boss I was an opera expert
next time I want you to tell him I'm
fluent in Russian I can help you with
that nice ghazali struble must read da
ta it means nobody told me you had three
children Oh how'd it work ah work so
well that he gave us his tickets to the
Opera Friday night I don't want to go to
the Opera give them back oh that's a
great idea bill I'll send a card opera
sucks I'm a big fat liar P&I their
promotion love Judi and senior libretto
hexic way PS comes after that's not
important damn people pay a lot of money
to see an opera wow these costs more
than hockey tickets hey I got an idea
call isn't your brother a ticket broker
yeah he's the successful ones stop
rubbing it in dad Judy here's what we do
we trade in these opera tickets and get
Carl's brother to get us some blackhawks
tickets right on the glass man I never
said on the glass before have you so
great about we can trade in his ticket
well is dr. Gruber gonna be at the Opera
no he's got some charity dinner so he'll
never know we have a great time at the
hockey game you say we went to the Opera
it's a win-win situation I don't know
bill Judy intent and inked in then I'll
stop that bill that's not fair the
Darien okay fine ha
[Applause]
goody would too hope it's more than
place for me please got it pretty good
question you don't make Michigan i have
a new office i'll take it is what your
question i read my schedule at the
michigan avenue office and i got my
dates confused it turns out that the
charity benefit isn't until next weekend
right my wife really gave me the
business about giving away the Opera
tickets so I was wondering could I maybe
have them back Oh Gavin you're upset I
can tell no no I'm not upset it's just
that one bill saw the tickets he was so
happy and he's been very sad lately man
dead seem sad this bottles up but I'm
very sensitive to other people's pain no
I want to lighten up on the pressure
yeah okay you get away forget about what
I said you and Bill you go to the Opera
okay I have a great time just grab my
wife a program on the way out all right
a program yeah Beverly collects them
they're the only thing she collects it's
free and I like to encourage that knows
easy could begin map there at the Opera
Monday morning you and I were gonna have
coffee you're gonna give me every detail
all right okay yeah so why don't you
take the mold out and clean them up like
two forgotten to set the timer
[Laughter]
hey dad your mom go to the hockey game
shredded right could i sell my sleepover
sure but only if you promise invite over
some horndog teenage boys and make sure
they bring beer and cigarettes no man
overboard on high man and Bill cards
head in the fridge sorry I got here
first but the ovens free yeah I can't
jump for most people over now I've
already invited everybody whole thing
over to love sleepovers technically
they're not sleepovers if you guests out
there when you wake up hey Linda could
you chaperone my sleepover tomorrow
night when you kiddin ya there'd be so
much fun talkin style each other's hair
do manicures facials with anti-wrinkle
cream a 13-13 turns to 36 pretty quickly
3 i'd like to introduce you to our two
new friends front and row hello Judy
we're gonna get ripped so we can't go to
the hockey game tomorrow night we have
to call Carl and get our offer tickets
back Wow my boss wants a program and a
total recap of the Opera we have to go
wait wait wait wait wait there's got to
be a way out of this I got it we get
cheap opera tickets for tonight that way
you get the program get to learn all
about the Opera and we still get to go
to the hockey game tomorrow man that nap
at work paid off no so that's crazy and
irresponsible I'm out intent intent
intent intent intent and intense
[Applause]
[Music]
I'm car keys bill at the program why
can't just leave dr. Cooper and I are
having coffee monday morning and I got
empty tail fine whoever said it's not
over till the fat lady sings has never
been to the Opera
[Music]
Oh starving oh yes skills ability pally
mrs. Goldfarb must have been in that
chair for a good hour and a half you've
never seen so much flak not even on that
plaque dr. Gerber the tools are all
sterilized plus i sent out the dental
reminders for the next two months yeah
yeah yeah great great thank you yeah
dear colleagues joke no I missed it must
been too busy working your Michigan
Avenue office called and asked if
someone could stop by later and help
them with bookkeeping I'd be happy to so
would I know it sounds like Colleen has
a cup of thanks anyway Judy you know
we're very excited about going to the
Opera tonight Giovanni giacosa is
playing the role of alfredo merely yeah
and they say the mezzo-soprano is
extraordinary particularly her vibrato
Oh kidding who was it her name is very
hard to pronounce Angelina said you
ready to send trailer yeah let's take
her a while to sign a check huh Judy
it's really great having somebody in the
office with whom I could share my
passion to the yeah yeah we do have that
in common you want to talk opera you
come see me you know it's really k*lling
me that I'm gonna have to miss tonight's
performance oh yeah what is she wait
maybe I don't have to miss it you know
what we're screwed oh noes let's go to
the game
what I don't know what happened all of a
sudden Colleen was showing me up so I
started kissing his butt like you told
me I was throwing around words
mezzo-soprano vibrato I didn't think I
said burrito he didn't even notice him
left me that bad he's hoarding the Opera
again tonight well it's a big theater
he'll never notice we're not there oh
he'll notice he managed to get seats
right next to the ones he gave us we
have to get our tickets back and go to
the Opera unless don't put on my suit
still where's Karl with those
opportunities Eddie be here he'll be
here some cotton candy no I think I just
ironed over a couple of skittles ah i
just made a new flavor lemon lime Terry
lint dad why does Lauren have to have
her sleepover tonight why what's the
problem there's a bunch of 13 year old
girls upstairs running around in their
pajamas and hitting each other with
pillows Merry Christmas son yeah I'm
trying to study and they keep running
into my room and tickling me and a happy
new year how would you like it if I
invited all the moms friends over to run
into your room and tickle you that gonna
happen I'm gonna be Carl okay people I
try to get back to your original opera
seats but they were already gone so I
got you even better seats fifth row
center who loves Carl that doesn't help
us at all we need the same seats back I
love Carl
it's over Judy I'm out of ideas there's
absolutely no solution to this problem I
know we got great seats what if we go to
the Opera and ask the people in our old
seats that they'll trade with us I don't
know will you do it if we pretend it's
your idea okay it's the act surprised
when I come up with it in the car hey
what do you think you're doing watchin
TV they've a lot more super fun stuff
planned and Linda you already made us
watch you try on all of you new outfits
we were playing fashion show now who's
ready for a game of remember me oh ok
you go away and we'll see if we can
remember you you just ask me someone's
on popcorn duty remember me is a game
where we tell boys and have a little fun
with them cowboy right ladies ok oh hi
Jason and Melissa remember me yeah
that's right you ditched me at that
French restaurant made me pick out the
check my new boyfriend is a biker with a
black belt in karate and he's gonna kick
you in the throat yeah you ever been
kicked in the throw just feel so good
kind of like how you ripped out my heart
that didn't feel too good either loser
[Laughter]
your neck no way ok I'll go dim this guy
name is Frank apparently my boobs were
big enough for me here is H 1 and 2
groupers not theory yet maybe these
people to show up we trade and we're
home free you mean we're home free after
four and a half hours of a slamming
boredom hi we're just sitting here
enjoying our seats good see Judy bill
you remember my wife Beverly nice to see
ya it's been a while I haven't seen you
two since ceased to party at our house
that's right and can I just say again
how sorry I am about your trellis but
your kid bet me I couldn't climb it he
was right oh honey everything is at the
irving oh you're just wave it's the ER
things you should go ask her about her
surgery we should what how did you what
they're old I took a shot all right so
far so good people haven't even showed
up excuse me you're in our seats say
how'd you like even better seats fifth
row center no thank you come on they're
great seats laughter she's had the baby
you're not gonna get out that often you
might as well live it up now she's not
pregnant well as fault is that gets down
to the good seats och romancing her
she's my sister
he'll Jam would you just mind training
suits with us would we be doing you a
favor up equal then no excuse me we'll
trade seats with you done trust me now
what you two I don't you feel about
moving up a role you'd be closer to the
stage plus you won't have to sit behind
this guy's melon sure we have four seats
in the row behind where our seats are
it's a dark theater your boss will never
know you know I think I'm smarter when
I'm wearing the suit I'm here how are
the Irving's heavily medicated I don't
think they know who we were it's going
to be so much yeah I'm really looking
forward to this oh no no this is
definitely not our seats but one row up
excuse me I believe you in our seats ya
know they made us move why would we make
the move they tried to get us to move
first to we saw the whole thing how
would he tell me what's going on here
all right last night we were att*cked
the mother made up with our opera
tickets val is called Paul are you
wearing a blue suit you know that's
you're absolutely right officer there
will be no more threatening phone calls
tonight you know girls boy crazy good
night now we have a slumber party secret
we watch a movie now yeah yeah linda has
one more phone call to make now Jason
thanks a lot for calling the cost you
big woman I know with you hey should
tell her we're the ones that call the
cops see where this goes tell you lies
pretended you like the Opera sold my
tickets and embarrass me in front of the
entire section wait a second yep that's
it that's everything he'll admit we made
a few mistakes but it's just because I
wanted to work in the Michigan Avenue
office I'm so sorry that I lied to you I
appreciate your honesty cutie you do
work hard I can assure you this won't
affect your chances for promotion no I
just lied how's it feel hey my wife only
made one mistake and that was listening
to me it's okay bill calling probably
deserves that promotion I mean she's
there all the time she's there when I
get there in the morning when I leave ok
so two teachers no I mean she's there
almost every weekend I mean she even
agreed to go to that dental convention
with you in Toledo ok I keep calling
credit I mean why would a beautiful
single woman want to spend her weekend
with her boss in Toledo neck of a word
are you still talking to these people
we've got to get back to our seat I'll
be with you in a minute sweetie
aren't you happy he got you keep quiet
the promotion's yours I don't want to
get a promotion this way yes she does
she also wants an extra week's vacation
time but don't think this means you can
push me around because nobody pushes me
around Nathan got me sweetheart Judy I'm
proud of her me the only reason I got
the promotion is because it black Mia oh
you worked hard for it you're a capable
confident reliable employee if there's
one thing our kids should learn from
your example it's still bill if we hurry
we can catch the end of the hockey team
on TV good cuz I didn't know where I was
going with that I don't think know he
can put the shaving cream in her hand
they got a sickle under her nose
amateurs
[Music]
01x10 - Still Scalping
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Bill and Judy Miller are a blue-collar Chicago couple trying to raise three children responsibly without sacrificing their youthfulness.
Bill and Judy Miller are a blue-collar Chicago couple trying to raise three children responsibly without sacrificing their youthfulness.