05x27 - Two Loves Has Bud

[bunniefuu]

- [Voiceover] Robert Young

and Jane Wyatt

with Elinor Donahue, Billy Gray, and Lauren Chapin

in Father Knows Best

- Oh, are you two stillwatching the new tenants

moving into the Davis' house?

Shall I get you the binoculars so you can spy better?

- Yes, would you?

(audience laughs)

- I would not.

Now come away and stop gawking.

- We're not gawking.

We just happened to glance out the window.

- The only trouble is Kathy's been glancing

for several hours.

- Would you say the daughter is older than I?

- Yeah, she's , (laughs).

Bet that blonde hair came out of a bottle.

(laughing)

- Come on, girls.

- Hey that must be the mother.

What a junky looking dress.

- Well you wouldn't expect her to wear her best dress

on moving day.

What's that she's carrying in,

an old fashioned bridge lamp?

- Oh, shall we get you the binoculars?

(audience laughs)

- Oh, isn't this catching.

Come on, both of you.

Hi, Bud.

Well, aren't you speaking?

- Hi, Mom.

- Was anything the matter?

- Anything?

Everything.

Look.

Joyce returned all my gifts.

- Returned them, but why?

- 'cause she's through with me, that's why.

Said our love had grown cold.

Now how could the girl I was planning on marrying say that?

- I'm sure that when you see her tomorrow,

- I'm not gonna see her tomorrow.

Or ever!

'Cause I'm leaving town!

- Oh, now you don't have to leave town

just because a girl breaks up with you.

- Nah, Ma, I couldn't stand it here.

- Where would you go?

- Hillsborough, maybe.

Live with Uncle Bert.

- Uncle Bert!

- Why not, he's asked me plenty of times.

I'm gonna go up and pack.

- No wait, let's talk this over.

- Nothing to talk over,my mind's made up.

- Well at least wait tilyour father gets home.

- I can't wait, I'm leaving right now.

And nothing's gonna stop me.

(thumping)

(audience laughs)

(sighs)

- Oh dear.

- Look, I know how youfeel about losing Joyce,

but why do you have to leave town?

- Why?

Everywhere I turn I'd be stabbed by a romantic memory.

(audience laughs)

With the chemistry lab,where we both reached

for the bunsen burner.

Our hands touched.

The bowling alley?

Where she dropped the ball on my foot?

(audience laughs)

We both cried.

- Pretty tender memories, all right.

But look, girls change their minds.

- Oh not Joyce.

She made it very plain.

Look.

(audience laughs)

She returned all my gifts.

The steering knob off my car.

The charm bracelet.

A pressed chrysancrucrum, chrycansathus, flower.

(audience laughs)

Even my picture.

And my fraternity pin.

- You don't belong to a fraternity.

Hey that's my pin!

- You can have it back, dad.

I'm never gonna be giving it to any more girls, never.

And look, even the perfume I gave her for her birthday.

She never even used one drop.

(audience laughs)

- (coughs) I had no ideashe'd gone this far.

Returning all your love tokens.

(audience laughs)

I don't blame you for wanting to get away from it all.

We're sure gonna miss you.

But remember now, you're always welcome to drop in

at any time.

You better phone first though, make sure we're home.

(audience laughs)

- Thanks, Dad.

- Okay, let's wind up this packing

so you can be on your way.

Oh, I know you don't want to take Joyce's picture with you.

You know, she looks alittle bit like the girl

in that new family moving into the Davis' house.

- What new family?

- I don't know their name yet.

I just saw them moving their things in.

Oh, they're not out there now.

Oh, yes!

There she is.

No, her hair is much lighter than Joyce's.

A little prettier, too, I believe.

(chuckles) but that's a matter of opinion.

Oh, here.

Ah, let's see.

You got everything now?

Shirts, socks, pajamas?

I say, Bud, did you let Uncle Bert know

that you're coming?

(audience laughs)

I say, Bud,

did you let Uncle Bertknow that you're coming?

- Uh, no.

No, not yet.

- I'll just send him a wire that you're on your way.

Come on.

Say, I just rememberedthis is the time of year

Uncle Bert always goes to Sulfur Springs

to cure his rheumatism.

How do ya like that, now you have to postpone your trip.

- Gosh, that's a blow.

- Fate certainly has it in for you, son.

First you lose your girl,

and now you can't even go away to forget.

(audience laughs)

I just hope this doesn't sour you too much on life.

- Well, I'll try and bear up, Dad.

Somehow.

- Good boy.

(audience laughs)

- Yeah, man.

* I dream of whoever she is with light blonde hair.

(audience laughs)

- And then when he got a look at the girl next door

that did it.

(laughs)

Joyce and all of his problems were completely forgotten.

Certainly fickle, one look at a blonde

and boom goes his great love for Joyce.

(laughs)

- Hey, did you see whatBud's doing out there?

He must be sick.

(audience laughs)

- He's painting the fence, oh he is sick.

- And in his good clothes, too.

- That won't last long.

The minute he establishes with a certain blonde neighbor,

goodbye painting.

(audience laughs)

- He's trying to attract her attention.

(audience laughs)

- Hello, there.

Are you our new neighbor?

- Uh, yes.

Yes, ma'am, yes.

- Well that's nice.

I'm Mrs. Elgar.

You're the Andersons, aren't you?

- Well, not all of them.

I'm Bud Anderson.

- Well, bud, it certainly is nice,

oh, Sandra.

Sandra, come and meet our new neighbor, Bud Anderson.

- Hi.

- How do you do.

- And see how nice he is?

He's painting our whole fence for us.

(audience laughs)

- He is?

Why how sweet of you, Bud.

- Well, I'd better carryin some more things.

- So you live right next door?

- Yeah.

- And here I thought this place was gonna be dullsville.

- Yeah (laughs).

(bangs)

(giggling)

(crash)

- Margaret, I'm home.

- Oh, hello, Dear.

- Hi, Honey.

How's young Romeo getting along.

- Oh, too well, I'm afraid.

- He's getting just as thick with Sandra

as he was with Joyce.

- Boy, he's a fast worker.

He's only known Sandra a few days.

- Well, he's even started giving her

all the gifts Joyce returned.

(audience laughs)

And here's a bill youmight be interested in.

- $ for paint!

- And the worst part of it is,

our side of the fence never did get painted.

(audience laughs)

- Those blondes are expensive.

- What are you doing Bud?

- Oh, nothing.

You know where Dad put his fraternity pin?

- Now wait a minute, Bud.

I don't think you outta give all these presents to Sandra.

Especially the same ones you gave Joyce.

The charm bracelet and all.

- Well they weren't doing me any good just sittin' there.

- I think you're getting too involved with Sandra.

You made the same mistake with Joyce.

Why can't you just havecasual girlfriends?

- But I like her.

And I think what a perfect arrangement it is.

Having your girl live next door.

I can save on gasoline, phone bills.

Just holler over the fence.

You know, and the best thing is,

the best things is,

I can keep a close check on her,

see if there's no other boyfriends hanging around.

Where'd you say that fraternity pin was?

- I didn't say and I don't intend to.

That belongs to your father.

- Well, guess I'll have to give her the perfume, then.

(audience laughs)

Hope Sandra makes better use of it than Joyce did.

(audience laughs)

(doorbell rings)

- I'll get it.

Joyce.

- Hi, Betty.

- Well, come on in.

- Is Bud at home?

- Oh yes, I think he's up in his room.

I'll see if he,

oh, Bud, you have a visitor.

- Oh, Joyce.

(audience laughs)

- How are you, Bud.

- Oh, pretty good.

(audience laughs)

It's good to see ya.

- Thank you.

Do you have a minute to talk?

- Sure.

- Well, if you'll excuse me, I have some work to do.

- What did you want to talk about?

- Well, I don't know how to say this, but.

I realize I made a mistake about us.

Guess I was all mixed up.

I know I haven't anyright to ask this, Bud.

I wish we could go on as we were before.

- Come on, let's go in and talk this over.

(audience laughs)

- And for over a week now,

young Bluebeard has been going steady

with both Sandra and Joyce.

- You mean successfully.

- Well, evidently.

- And I think he should be given a good talking to.

- Either that or a medal.

(audience laughs)

How does he do it?

- I don't know.

And it's deceitful.

Sooner or later he's going to be the cause

of those two girls becoming enemies.

- I shudder to think what'll happen to him

when they find out.

- Where is he now?

- Where else?

With Sandra, mooning around on the back porch.

(laughing)

(audience laughs)

- Stone me, Kewpie Pie.

You're from KooKoosville.

- Hey, I got a good idea.

Let's make it down to the corner

and grab a quick soda, huh?

- Can't now, I have to go and try to and do some history.

Besides, I'm gonnahave to put up with you

all Saturday evening at the senior dance.

- Oh come one, it's better to make history

than just to study it.

It'll just take a minute.

(audience laughs)

No you're right, it's a lot to study.

I'll see you later.

So long.

- Weirdsville.

- I just want to see if I left my purse

in your car this morning.

- Well, I'll check it in a minute.

Let's go inside where we can't be seen.

I mean, where we can be alone.

- But I can't stay, I have to go home

and try on the dress mother's making me

to wear to the dance Saturday.

- Senior dance?

- Yes, and it's our favorite color, too.

You'll be proud of me.

(audience laughs)

- Am I taking,

Uh, just a minute, let's sit down for just a second, Joyce.

I've been thinking aboutthe Saturday dance.

And it'll probably be real dullsville.

So why don't we go to a movie, Sunday night instead?

- No.

- Hi, Kathy.

Where's Bud?

- Oh, probably in the living room.

Go right on in.

- Oh, thanks.

(happily hums)

- But I just can't understand

why all of sudden you don't want to go to the dance.

- Well, you see.

(audience laughs)

- Oh hi, Kewpie Pie.

Do you happen to have my history book?

I just can't find it anywhere.

Why, Joyce.

- Sandra.

- What are you doing here?

- Well, I cam to see Bud, naturally.

Where'd you get the bracelet?

- From Bud, naturally.

(audience laughs)

- Um, would you mind stepping outside?

I think we have something to discuss.

Will you excuse us, Bud?

(audience laughs)

- Wait, you see.

(audience laughs)

(shrieks)

- What do you plan to do, hide in here

while they commit mayhem on each other?

- You don't expect me to go out

into that no man's land, do you?

- Yes, I do.

You caused this whole deal.

Now you go out there and tell them it's your fault.

- But, think what they'll do to me.

- I'm trying not to.

(audience laughs)

Now, go.

- Boy, what a miserable arrangement.

Having one of your girlsliving next door to ya.

(audience laughs)

Is everything okay out here?

- Oh everything's just peachesville.

We've talked it over

and we agree that you're a sweet mixed up little man,

and we're sick of you.

(audience laughs)

And you can have this back, again.

I don't care for second hand jewelry.

- But Sandra.

- And I don't care to be a second hand girl.

(audience laughs)

- Oh, no, no, wait.

Don't go.

You see, you're both so wonderful, that I just don't.

- We're not so wonderful

that we're willing to join the Share The Boy Club.

We're through with you.

Unless you're able to make up your mind

who your girl is.

- I don't know why, but we're giving you one more chance.

Can't take both of us to the senior dance,

so you're gonna have to decide

which one you're going to take.

(audience laughs)

- And do it by o'clock tomorrow.

No later.

Because the loser needs time to get another date.

(audience laughs)

Or do I mean winner?

- [Joyce] Winner, definitely.

Let's go.

- We'll see you at : a.m. tomorrow at my house.

Little man.

(audience laughs)

- Well, wait.

(happily humming)

- Oh hey, Betty, come here for a minute.

- What do you want, youtwo-timing Casanova?

If you're looking sympathy--

- I don't want sympathy.

- Or advice.

- No advice either.

Just tell me this.

You know the spot I'm in, which one would you choose?

- Why ask me?

You never listen to anything I tell you anyway.

- Oh, I know.

But that doesn't help me make my decision.

- Well, I guess if I had to choose

between Sandra and Joyce, I'd take, uh,

- Sandra.

(audience laughs)

- Who asked you?

This is a private conversation.

- Why would you choose Sandra?

- Oh, I don't know.

I like the way she says"dullsville" and "weirdsville."

(giggling)

- Yes, but that can be pretty boresville after a while.

- Kathy, I thought I told you to go to bed.

- I'm going,

but I have to help Bud pick which girl he wants.

- No you don't.

This isn't a public debate.

Scram.

- Come on, Angel.

- Which one would you pick, Mommy?

- It's not up to me.

(laughs) I guess I prefer Joyce.

Oh perhaps it's becauseI know her better.

- Yes, but Joyce doesn'tknow her own mind.

First she said she was through with Bud

and then she says she wants him back.

Change, change.

Being married to a girl like that,

it'd drive a manout of his mind.

- Yeah, Bud, marry Sandra.

She'd be the most funsville.

- Ah, he's not gonna marry anyone tonight.

You go along to bed.

- Yeah, yeah all of you.

Leave me alone.

- Look, you called me in.

- Come along, Betty.

Bud got himself into this.

Whether it's Joyce or Sandra is his problem.

Now come on.

- I don't know.

I just don't know.

(dream sequence chimes)

- Joyce, I'm home!

Joyce!

- Hello, Dear.

- Hi, Honey.

- Rough day at the office?

- Yeah, but it doesn't matter

because I'm home where I want to be.

- Oh, Honey, wait, putyour suit coat back on.

I want you to go down to the store

and get me some whipping cream.

- Oh it's okay, I can go in this.

- Oh no, well, that's alright to wear around the house.

But when you go out, Iwant to be proud of you.

But then, I guess you ought to be able

to wear what you want to.

Oh, it doesn't really matter, here wear your jacket.

Just do it.

Of course you do look much better in your suit coat.

But now if you don't want to go.

- I want to go.

- No you don't.

Besides, I didn't want the whipping cream anyway.

- Good grief, woman.

Will you stop changing your mind?

- Now listen here, don't you shout at me.

- I can't stand it any longer.

All you do is change your mind (voice echoes).

- Ah, Bud, Bud, what is it?

- Uh, where's Joyce?

- You must have been dreaming.

- Dreaming?

Oh boy, what a relief.

I dreamt I was married to Joyce and was it terrible.

Glad I'm out of that.

- Why don't you stop worrying about those girls

and get some sleep.

- Well at least I know which one to pick now.

Hey, maybe that was a lucky dream after all.

- Bye, 'night you.

Go to sleep, Bud.

(dream sequence chimes)

- Sandra, I'm home.

- Oh hi, Kewpie Pie!

Has the office been grandville today?

- It's a hard day, I'm tired.

- Oh, well I'll just take care of my little old Kewpie.

Oh don't put on that thing,

we're going out to dinner.

- We're going out?

But I'm tired.

- Oh don't be a thudsville ville, Kewpie.

Live a little.

C'mon, tonight's funsville!

- Well wait, every night's funsville with you.

I want to stay home for a change, see what's it like.

- Oh, dullsville.

- No, look.

- Boresville.

- No, look.

- Now you look, little man.

You're going out and having some fun if it kills you.

Now go up and change.

Because we're going out.

- Now look, Sandra.

(yells)

- Bud!

Hey, what's the matter.

- I guess I must have been dreaming again.

- Well, do that in bed, not on the floor.

- You know, Dad.

I just had a miserable dream about Joyce.

So I was sure Sandra was the one to pick.

Just now, I had aworse one about Sandra.

What do I do, Dad?

I'm more mixed up than ever, now.

- Oh, you're making toomuch out of this, son.

It always seems worse inthe middle of the night.

It won't seem so tragic in the morning,

so go back to sleep.

(yawning)

(audience laughs)

- Well, there they are.

Both Joyce and Sandra waiting for me,

like a pair of vultures.

- Now that's not a nicething to call them.

- (snickers) You better getover there son, it's o'clock.

Zero hour.

(audience laughs)

- Well what am I gonna tell 'em?

You know, after those dreams,

I'm not sure I want either one.

Maybe I ought to go live with Uncle Bert after all.

- Let's don't start that again.

- Hey I got an idea.

You know that hunting trip we were talking about?

A couple weeks ago?

Let's go on that, right now.

- Oh no, you can't runaway from your problems.

Besides, I can't just pick up and go.

You're mother needs me this weekend.

- Now wait, maybe this trip's a good idea.

Or frankly I think it's an awfully embarrassing thing

Bud has to do.

Face those two girls and pick one?

It would only make for more bad feeling between them.

I think it would be a much better idea

if he told them how sorry he was for causing this

and as for the dance, well he can't take either one,

because he's going on ahunting trip with you.

- Yeah, Dad.

- No way, you said you wanted me to fix the washing machine,

paint the service cords,

- Oh, all that can wait.

In fact, I'll start packing some food right now.

While you, Bud, go ahead and tell 'em your decision.

- Mom, you're the greatest.

And now, why can't I find a girl like her.

Instead of those two canaries I have to go out and face.

Dad, I hope some day you realizewhat a lucky stiff you are.

(audience laughs)

- Someday.

I found that out years ago.

- You're what?

Going hunting?

- Yeah, duck hunting with my dad.

- Well, if you think you can dust me off that easily,

little man, you're headed for doomsville.

- Wait, let me explain.

- Explain it to the ducks!

- Thank you, Bud.

- Thanks for what?

- For getting us out of this awful mess.

I got to thinking about

what an embarrassing spot we've put you on,

even though you deserved it.

I felt just awful.

I'm glad you're going hunting with your father instead.

- You are?

- I really am.

I think it wouldbe good for you.

Can I help you packsome food or something?

- A trip would do you both a lot of good.

In fact, I'll start packing some food for you.

(audience laughs)

(gate clacks)

- Hey Dad, I've got a volunteer.

- Hi, Mr. Anderson.

- Joyce is gonna help Mom fix our grub.

- Oh?

Well, uh, fine.

- Um, well.

I'll go in, you better help your father.

- Did you notice anything, Dad?

- Notice, what?

- The resemblance, didn't you see?

Joyce looks almost exactly like that girl you married.

(audience laughs)

(audience clapping)