06x06 - Bicycle Trip for Two

[bunniefuu]

(dramatic but pleasant orchestral music)

- [Narrator] Robert Young

and Jane Wyatt

with Elinor Donahue, Billy Gray,

and Lauren Chapin

in Father Knows Best.

- So I'll pick you up around :

this afternoon, Joyce.

Where are we going?

Just a minute.

Hey, dad, think of a place for me

to take Joyce this afternoon.

- How should I know?

- Think of someplace that's different.

- A trip to the twine factory?

(audience laughter)

- Dad.

- Well, that's different.

- A lot of help I get around here.

Joyce?

I'm not gonna tell ya now.

I'm gonna surprise you.

What should you wear?

Well,

what?

Yeah, that's it.

Sports clothes, exactly right.

No, no hints until I see ya.

Okay, bye.

All right, what's the big surprise

I'm gonna take her to?

- Well how about the rollerskating rink?

- No, we've been there.

See, Joyce is beginning to think

that I have nothing but dull ideas.

She's always bringing up what interesting

and original places Claude takes his girl to.

So I gotta come up with something,

thank you, real good.

Think of a good place for me, dad.

- Yeah, dad, think of someplace good.

Don't just sit there.

- I'm not gonna thinkor anything else today.

This is one of those Saturdays designed

for collapsing.

- [Kathy] Daddy?

- Uh oh.

Whatever it is, no.

- Well I just wanted to give you a report

on the fire safetyconditions of our house.

I finished my inspection.

- Good, how do westack up, fire marshal?

- Pretty good.

Wiring, electrical outlets and so forth, very good.

- Well, thank you very much.

- Shingles, okay.

Closets, okay.

Basement...

- Uh oh.

- Oh, not bad, it could be better.

The garage had someoily rags laying around,

but I got rid of them for ya.

- Well, thank you...

Marshal.

- But oh brother, that attic,

is that awful.

- Really, what's so awful about it?

- All that junk up there.

Boy, is that a fire hazard.

- Well, we'll just have to get up there and clean it out

someday.

- No, right now.

If you don't clean it today, I'll have to report you

to the fire department.

- Report me?

You'd report your own father?

- I have to, daddy.

It's my duty as a junior fire marshal.

So how about it?

Will you do it now?

- Fine, I've got a stoolpigeon for a daughter.

- Well, I suppose if we have to do it

we might as well tackle it right away.

Oh, you had nothing to do today anyway,

did you?

- No, and that's exactlywhat I planned to do.

Nothing.

This is pure coercion.

I feel like I've been Shanghaied

by my own innocent daughter.

You traitor.

I'll change and meet you in the attic.

But I won't enjoy it.

(audience laughter)

- Thank you, marshal.

For three years now, three long years,

I've been trying to get him to help me

with that attic.

Well done, marshal.

(whimsical music)

- Look at these moccasins I started

to make at a summer camp I used

to go to as a kid.

I never did finish them.

Now why would a fella hang on to anything like this?

- Well, this is a good time to throw 'em away

and get on with the job.

- Camp Tipi-Tonga.

(chuckling)

The lake was full of seaweed.

The air full of mosquitoes.

We played volleyball

in sort of a swamp.

Had to wash the cooking pots with sand

on the beach.

But I thought that camp was as close

to paradise as a boy could get.

- Jim?

If we don't get started,that fire marshal

of ours will be on our necks.

- Oh yeah.

We don't wanna have to tangle with her.

There we are.

Oh here we go.

Won't need that anymore.

How in the world is this stuff around?

(sentimental music)

You know,

speaking of memories,

once in awhile I get

fleeting glimpses of moments in my boyhood.

Strike almost like a pang.

A pang in the pit of my stomach.

Does that ever happen to you?

- Like a pang, you say?

- Well, sort of.

I guess because you want to reach out

and grab that moment.

Relive it.

Of course you know you can't.

Gone forever.

Irretrievably lost.

- Yeah, I think I know that feeling.

- How great it wouldbe if we actually could

get a hold of one of those moments

and relive it.

(toy honking)

(toy honking)

Tell me,

if someone gave you the power to relive

some one day of your life,

what day would you choose?

- Oh gee,

I don't know.

(audience laughter)

(hysterical audience laughter)

- Get that thing off your head.

(laughter)

- Oh.

I'll tell ya one thing,

this is not the day I want to live over.

(audience laughter)

- I'll tell ya the day I'd choose.

Our bicycle trip.

The one that you and I made when we were

in high school.

A

two people picnic out at Oak Grove.

Remember?

- How could I ever forget that?

- I was really in the clouds that day.

That

was the first time I ever held your hand.

And it was greater than

all the kisses that have ever been kissed.

By Greta Garbo or anyone else.

- Greta Garbo, how did you know about her?

- Oh, I know all that stuff.

Here here, I'll do that.

(grunting)

Oh boy.

(chuckling)

Hey,

I've got an idea.

Now,

don't throw that broom at me,

but listen,

let's make that same trip.

Exactly as we did then.

- On bicycles?

- Why not?

There are those bicycles of Betty's

and Bud's in the garagejust withering away.

I'll get 'em out, dust 'em off.

You pack a lunch and we'll take off.

- You mean right now?

- It's now or we'll lose it.

You can't fool around with these memory moments.

- Oh yes, but

what about the attic?

- Well, it's not gonna go away.

You've been trying to get me to do this job

for three years.

One more day won't hurt.

- No. - And if the fire marshal

squawks, I'll cut off her allowance.

(audience laughter)

What do you say?

Are you with me?

- Well,

yes.

Oh,

but that man for the pest control company's

coming here today to look for termites.

- Well I'll mail him some termites

so he won't have to go out looking for them.

(audience laughter)

Come on.

Put on your mini-blouseand bloomers

and let's hit the road.

- Jim,

I think it's a wonderful idea.

Really, I do.

But--

- But it's ridiculous.

Of course it's ridiculous.

But that makes it all the better.

- No no, not that at all.

It's...

Well...

I'm afraid you're just building yourself up

for a big letdown.

- No.

No, I know you can't go back again.

This is one of those wonderful

spur of the moment things that

occur to people but they never do them.

For once, let's do it.

- All right.

Let's do it.

Now you're talking, Maggie.

(audience laughter)

- I just hope I can still ride a bicycle.

- Oh, they say that's one art you never forget.

Besides, I'll wait for you,

at the top of every hill.

- Oh, you're so gallant.

On that other trip, you practically

carried me up the hill.

- Oh I was much younger then.

- What shall I fix for our picnic?

- Well let's see.

Oh what's the matter with us?

Canadian bacon sandwiches.

That's what you fixed for that other trip.

- You're right.

You do remember, don't you?

- Of course.

First time I'd everheard of Canadian bacon.

Sandwiches tasted good, in fact,

that's why I decided to marry you.

- I would've expected that.

- Oh, here comes Betty.

Make sure to keep this trip to ourselves,

I'm afraid it'd sound kinda silly

to the kids.

- Boy, I have to study for two tests today...

What are you doing?

Eating again?

You just had breakfast.

- Oh, this is a lunch we're packing.

Your mother and I have to go on a brief trip

out in the country.

- Trip?

I thought you were cleaning the attic, finally.

- Well this came up suddenly.

Sort of a business trip.

- What's this, on Saturday?

- I better go out to thegarage and get the b--

(audience laughter)

- What's the matter with him?

He acts like he thinkshe's about years old.

- No, it's to be exact.

(audience laughter)

- There we are.

Dust 'em off and

they'll be just as good as new.

Oof.

(audience laughter)

Four tires, four flats.

Man, I'm batting , %.

- I called the termite man,

he can't come next week but he said

he'd be here right away.

- Yeah?

- It shouldn't delay us much,

because he said it won't take long

to inspect the place.

- Well I've had a slight delay myself.

Look at that.

- Oh dear.

Well they're all flat.

Well, maybe we better take the car.

- On a bicycle trip?

No, sir.

- Oh yes, but these tires.

- Oh I can patch them.

Chances are I had to patch them

before our other trip too.

(toy honking)

I'll just run down to the gas station

and get a little patching kit.

I'll be right back.

- Oh, dad.

- Huh?

- Say look, as long asyou're running errands,

you wouldn't minddropping by the cleaners

and picking up my gray slacks for me will ya?

I need 'em for my date.

- Look, I'm in a pretty big hurry.

- It'll only take ya a second.

And I'm really stretched for time.

Thanks a lot, dad.

I really appreciate it.

(audience laughter)

- Father, wait.

(audience laughter)

Would you mind droppingthese books off

at the library for me?

It's not out of your way.

- How do you know it's not?

You don't know where I'm going.

I'm only going down tothe corner gas station.

- Well it's just five or six blocks farther.

I'd go myself but I have those two tests

plus writing words on the French Revolution.

Oh, which reminds me, while you're there

will you pick up a good book on the

French Revolution?

- Now wait a minute, I don't have time.

- But father, you have to go there

anyway to take the books back.

- Well sure I do.

- So fine, you'll just take--

- No, wait, I don't have to go there.

- Father, thank you.

You're sweet.

(audience laughter)

- How do you fight feminine illogic?

(audience laughter)

- Dad, dad.

- Now what?

- Have you thought of any interesting place

for me to take Joyce this afternoon?

- No.

(audience laughter)

(tires squealing)

- Gee, what a grouch.

(cheerful music)

- Well, I inspected two more houses.

I found some wonderful fire hazards.

- Good.

- In one house I found a...

Hey, why aren't you up in the attic, boy?

- Because I'm down here.

- Look, I told you I'll have to--

- I'll do the attic tomorrow.

- But I told you--

- Tomorrow, I'll do it.

I promise, marshal.

(audience laughter)

Today I...

Well,

I have something more important to do today.

- What's so important?

- Well,

you wouldn't understand.

You will when you're older.

- Why does everybody keep saying I'm so young?

I wish I was years older so people

wouldn't have to keep everything from me.

(audience laughter)

Hey, what are you fixingthose old bikes for?

- Because they need it.

Who knows, maybe your mother and I

might wanna ride 'em.

Someday.

- You and mommy ride them?

I can just see that.

Oh, boy.

(laughter)

- Oh, Kathy, don't ride that,

you'll ruin the tires.

They're flat.

Now get off.

Get off.

Get off, Kathy.

- The chain came off.

- Oh fine.

- Oh, I'll fix it.

- No no.

You'll get all greasy and make it worse.

Just leave it, I'll fix it.

Go on in the house, honey.

(somber music)

- What's the matter with daddy?

He sure seems cranky today.

- Cranky?

Oh he's never cranky.

- No he is today,she's right about that.

Every time I ask himto do some little thing

he grumbles away.

It's not like him at all.

- No it isn't.

But perhaps you shouldn't keep

asking him to do so many things.

Especially not today, because he's...

Well,

because he's trying to accomplish something

that's impossible, I'm afraid.

- Yeah, like what?

- Like fixing those old bikes of yours

and Betty's.

- Oh? - Hey.

- Yeah, no kidding?

What's he doing a goofything like that for?

- We're too young to be told, at least

that's what daddy said.

And I'm sick of hearing it.

- What are you gonna do, dad?

Enter a six day bike race?

- That's right.

(audience laughter)

- No, no kidding, dad.

What are you doing?

- Oh I just thought I'd fix 'em up.

Might wanna sell 'em or something someday.

- That's a good idea.

Get rid of 'em.

Nobody with any brains will ride

those old things anyway.

See ya later, dad.

- Jim, will you come in here a moment?

- Hm?

- The sink's stopped up.

Bring a plunger.

- Oh no, not that.

Not now.

Okay, I'll be right in.

(crashing cymbals)

- Mother, who's that I hear stomping

around in the basement?

- Oh, that's the termite man.

- Termite man?

Is that anythinglike the Batman?

Father, would you do me a favor?

I'm so swamped, would you mind

glancing through this stuff on the French Revolution?

Just sort of write an outline?

- Sure, love to.

You can see I have nothing to do at the moment.

Just get me one of those pens that write underwater

and I'll get right on it.

- You don't have to be so sarcastic about it.

- I'm not doing any good here.

You better call the plumber.

And of course that won't delay

our trip any, just six or seven hours.

- But dear, we won't have to wait

for the plumber.

Betty will be here.

I'll call him right away.

- Don't you know howto make an outline yet?

- Well, of course I do.

It's just that I have so much other work,

I'm absolutely swamped.

- Oh hello, this is Mrs. Anderson.

I wonder if you could send a plumber over

right away.

My sink's stopped up.

What?

Not 'til Monday?

- Mr. Anderson?

I think you got trouble.

- You think I have trouble?

- Yeah.

Come on, I wanna show you the basement.

- I've seen it.

- I want to show you what's going on down there.

You got some first class termites.

(audience laughter)

- Well, thank goodness for that.

Nothing I hate more thansecond class termites.

(audience laughter)

- He's quite a comedian today.

- Yes.

- I've never seen him like this before.

I can understand his being upset

over all this trouble, but...

Oh, this just isn't like him.

- No it isn't.

I don't much like it either.

- Now you see?

There and there.

Now right there, those little rascals

are doing a beautiful job.

- Yeah, gorgeous.

- Those kids are havinga regular picnic.

(audience laughter)

- It's nice somebody cango on a picnic today.

Okay, so what do you have to do?

Rip out the whole foundation?

(laughing)

- Not quite.

(audience laughter)

Oh, we can get rid of the little rascals all right,

but you will have toreplace a little lumber.

Of course, this won't be cheap.

- It never is.

- Now I figure--

- Go right ahead.

Look, I won't argue.

This is just not my day.

Do your worst.

Oh, ow.

(somber music)

(audience laughter)

- [Kathy] Daddy?

- Huh?

- Daddy, can I go to the rollerskating rink tonight

with Patty Davis?

- I don't know, I guess so.

- [Margaret] Kathy, youknow what I told you.

- [Kathy] Oh gosh.

- Now you girls are not old enough

to go there at night unchaperoned.

- But daddy said I could go.

- Oh now wait, you didn't tell me

you already had your orders.

Your mother's right, you're too young.

- I'm sick of hearing that.

Boy, I'll sure be glad when I reach the age

when I'll be free todo whatever I wanna do.

- If you ever reach that age,

let me know.

I'd sure love to know when that is.

(sad music)

(meandering music)

There.

Oh.

All done.

- Jim, the plumber just got here

and he wants to talk to you.

- Well tell him to wait, can't you see

I'm right in the middle of something?

- Well now, just a minute, dear,

you don't have to talk to me in that tone

of voice.

- Okay, I'm sorry, honey.

But my gosh, this wholeday is being ruined.

Some picnic.

This fine memory's being turned

into a nightmare.

Let's forget the plumber and go.

- Well,

I'm not so sure now that I wanna go.

- Huh?

- Well the way you've been barking at us all

you'd be about as much fun on a picnic

as a

swarm of bees.

But you act as though it's my fault

about the termites and the plumbing and...

As far as I'm concerned,the trip is off.

- Oh now wait, honey.

Wait a minute.

(gloomy music)

Bicycle trip.

How could a grown man think of such a...

(dramatic music)

Well there's sure no fool like an old one.

(toy honking)

(audience laughter)

(heavy sigh)

To think I wasted half a day

preparing these fool things.

- Well I still don't see what you're

trying to do.

First you tell me to wear sports clothes

and then you try to take me to a show

we'd already seen,

and well now you bring me here.

- Well this is all part of the surprise.

Sort of.

You wait here and I'll be back

in just a second.

Dad.

- [Jim] Yeah?

- Oh there you are.

Hey, dad, you've gotta help me.

I started to take her to a movie,

but we've seen it.

I told I still have the surprise for her

but she doesn't much believe me.

So could you please think of someplace

for me to take her?

- Oh, son.

You couldn't possibly have come

to a worse person for an idea

about where to take a girl.

My ideas are so bad that I...

Well wait a minute.

Yeah I

have an idea.

- Yeah?

- Well, you probably think this is pretty cornball,

but here it is.

Take Joyce on a bicycle trip.

- A

bicycle trip?

- Yeah, out to Oak Grove.

Take a picnic lunch with you.

Luckily I just happened to have

the bikes all set to go.

- Well, dad, that's...

- You said you wanted something different.

- Yeah, yeah.

But you're right.

It's pretty cornball.

- Look, if you haven't tried it, don't knock it.

(audience laughter)

- Well I gotta try something.

I can't get anyfurther in the doghouse

than I am now.

Here goes nothing.

(audience laughter)

Well here's the surprise, Joyce.

We're gonna pack a lunch and bicycle

out to Oak Grove.

Sounds cool huh?

- Bicycle?

- Yeah.

The reason I stalled you along was that

the bikes weren't quite ready.

- I think that'sa fabulous idea.

- You do?

- Yes that sounds like fun.

How did you happen to think of that?

- Oh well,

I'm loaded with ideas.

- [Joyce] Hi, Mr. Anderson.

- Hello, Joyce.

Here you are.

- Are these the bikes we're gonna use?

- Yes, the tires are allpatched and everything.

- So wonderfully goofy.

Come on, let's get started,

we can stop by my house and fix

the lunch.

- Jim, I'm awfullysorry about what I said.

I really didn't mean--

- Oh wait a minute, kids.

- Hello, Joyce.

- Hi.

- Here's your picnic lunch.

- Really?

Already fixed?

Say you really did have a surprise

all planned, didn't you?

- Oh, there's a wonderful little

picnic spot to the left of the stream

in the upper part of the grove.

At least there used to be.

Have a good time.

I guarantee this will be something

you look back on one day with

fond memory.

Oh, hit the road, man.

- Thanks a lot, dad.

- Okay, bye.

(toy honking)

(chuckling)

- Well, I'm beginning to have a vague idea

of what's been going on out here,

but

that was our lunch you gave them.

(audience laughter)

- I know it.

But it's all right.

Because that's us.

There we go on our way to Oak Grove.

- There we go?

- Yep.

I realize now this isthe way we can reach out

and grab some of those moments

out of the past.

You know, maybe it's notsuch a bad way either.

- Do you really mean that, Jim?

I know how disappointing this day

has been for you and how

trapped you felt by everything

that's happened.

- Oh you're right, that's exactly

how I felt.

But not anymore.

Everything's okay again.

What I was trying to do, of course,

was live in the past.

Just as Kathy wants to live in the future.

And it just made both of us miserable.

There's only one

wonderful time to live.

And that's today.

So come on, honey, let's go live it.

- All right.

What should we do?

- Oh let's go out to dinner.

See a movie.

And then we...

(audience laughter)

Oh, first we're going up to clean the attic.

Nothing I love better than to clean attics.

(laughter)

- Nothing he likes better, what a faker.

But a nice one.

(audience laughter and applause)

(happy and upbeat music)

(digitized tones)