06x19 - Cupid Knows Best

[bunniefuu]

(upbeat instrumental music)

- [Announcer] Robert Young and Jane Wyatt.

With Elinor Donahue, Billy Gray, and Lauren Chapin

in Father Knows Best.

(door opens)

(humming)

(upbeat instrumental music)

- [Margaret] Fronk, are you all right?

- Oh si, I'm all right.

This lawn's sure gonna take a lot of work.

It's in bad shape. (laughing)

- Are you sure you're all right?

Usually you're out here singing away,

but now well you look worried.

- Oh it's nothing, sometimes a man

just feels a little lonely.

- Lonely?

- Maybe I get a little sad when I see Senor Anderson

with so fine a wife and family,and I, well it's no matter.

- Well yes it is.

Maybe you shouldfind a nice girl

for yourself and get married.

- I have found her but it's not any use,

she hardly know I'm alive.

- Oh now I doubt that.

- Oh it's true. (Spanish spoken)

Besides, I'm not good enough for her.

She's too much beautiful, and have too much sense

to take a second look at me.

Would I want the kind of a woman dumb enough

to take a second look at an hombre like me?

(audience laughing)

Of course not, I got pride, you know?

- Fronk, look--

- Besides, I got work todo. (audience laughing)

- That's probably why he's beenso sad and listless lately,

not like himself at all.

- Who's he in love with?- I don't know.

But whoever she is,hardly knows he's alive.

At least that's what Fronk says.

- Oh he's probably just too bashful to speak to her.

Let's see how can we help promote this love affair?

- Help promote it? (audience laughing)

- Well of course, we alwayshelp Fronk when he's in trouble.

- True, and we always will, but not in love matters.

That's his business.

- But when a man's in love,that's when he's most helpless.

- Oh I don't know. - You lie.

- Well regardless of who's right, you stay out of this,

do you understand?

- Don't you want Fronk to be happy again?

- Certainly, but when you interfere with other people's

affairs, you just make trouble for them,

and for yourself too, so don't meddle.

The worst thing you can do.

Oh. - Pardon me.

- I better run.

Bye, honey.- Goodbye, dear.

- See you tonight.

- Dad said don't meddle. - Who said I was going to?

- Nobody but I can hearthose wheels in there

starting to spin. (audience laughing)

Come on, if you're riding to school with me, let's go.

- Well I don't have a first period class this morning,

so I think I'll stay here and help with the dishes.

(audience laughing)

Fronk in love.

Oh I'm just dying to know what kind of a girl he'd pick.

(audience laughing)

Morning, Fronk.

- Buenos dias, Senorita Betty.

Could I speak with you un memento?

- Sure, I'd love to, what about?

- Well you're a college estudante.

You study many words andknow how to write them,

so could you maybe writea little letter for me?

- Well who's the letter to, a girl?

- Si. (audience laughing)

Elena. - I better not, Fronk.

- But who else can help me?

If I was back in Guadalajara, I could get an escribiente.

- A what? - A public letter writer.

He write any kind of letter you ask him,

but here no escribiente,so maybe you?

- Oh I'm afraid not, Fronk.

Where did you meet this Elena?

- Oh I no have met her,she works for her mama.

Mama Bertes Flower Shopfor maybe a year now.

I have been delivering flowers to them

from the nursery where I work for.

- Well while you're delivering flowers there,

don't you ever talk to Elena?

- She no hardly look at me, mostly it's to the mama I talk

and mostly she say okay, Fronk,put the flowers down here.

Wait, I get the money, that's all.

- While you're waiting for the money,

couldn't you try smiling at Elena?

- To smile at the back of her head, what is that?

Even when she looks atme, she's so beautiful.

I no can say nothing.

In here I feel much, but nothing comes out of here.

(audience laughing)

- Oh you're just too bashful.

So what you should do--- Is write to her.

Write her and tell her all the beautiful thoughts

I have for her, but I no write so good so maybe you?

- Well I'm not supposed to meddle, but in as much as

you're begging me to do this, you are begging me aren't you?

(audience laughing)

- Oh, si. - Good.

I have no choice then. (audience laughing)

Come on, I'll get rid of this and we'll see what we can do.

- [Fronk] Bueno.

(upbeat instrumental music)

(Spanish spoken)

- Whatever you're saying sounds a little too emotional

to me, this first letter should be reserved, polite.

Telling her well howyou've long admired her

and well perhapsasking her for a reply.

- Bueno, you know what to write, I go back to work now.

- Okay, I'll write it and you can take it over.

Oh how do you want it signed, just Fronk?

- Oh no, do not put down Fronk.

If she see that, she will throw it away.

Just sign it with my U.S.A. last name, Smith, Senor Smith.

(audience laughing)

That way she will not know who it's from.

(audience laughing)

- Well if she doesn't know who it's from,

there's no point in sending it.

- Oh there is much point.

First we must make her fall in love with the beautiful

thoughts that I write,or you write, then after

she's in love with the beautiful words,

it won't matter who I am because it is said

that love is blind. (audience laughing)

- Well it sounds like a goofy plan to me, but if you insist.

- Si, Fronk knows best,I go now, and you write.

Gracias, muy gracias.

- "And if my admiration for you is not unpleasing

"to you, I would enjoy very much receiving a reply."

Elena, do you know this Senor Smith?

- No, Mama, I have no idea who he is.

But he must be someone very nice,

from the sound of the letter.

- Writing paper is muy bueno, not cheap.

Handwriting, educated, the words, very fancy.

I think maybe too fancy.(audience laughing)

I wouldn't trust this man.

- Oh but, Mama, you don't even know him.

- Neither do you, this letter tells almost nothing

about himself, and this name, Smith, sounds a little

like how do you call it, phony.

- Oh now, Mama.- No.

It would be a mistake to encourage him now.

Still, you're almost . (audience laughing)

Here, better answer it.

- If you think I should.

- Try to find out more about him, but be very cautious.

Not so cautious as to scare him away. (audience laughing)

(serene instrumental music)

(singing in Spanish)

- Fronk, did you get an answer?

- Si, read it, came yesterday.

I did not sleep half oftwo winks last night.

She wants to know all about me, what I do,

what I look like, what I read, what hobbies I got.

Hey, do I got hobbies? (audience laughing)

- Well I don't know.

- I better get a couple,wonder what size I take.

(audience laughing)

- Sounds a little timid, maybe she's just being cautious.

At any rate, we've got her interested, that's for sure.

- Si.

- There, I think we answered all

the questions she asked about you.

- I hope you didn't answer so good, she will know who I am.

- No I was prettyvague about everything.

Just told her enough to keep her interested

and guessing, which is good.

But she poses one problem here.

She says, "I would verymuch like you to send me

"a photograph of yourself."

- Oh no, no photographia here.

One look and she see who I am, and bang there goes

the whole romance. (audience laughing)

- Whatever you say.

Soon though I think you ought to send her a picture.

You're very nice looking.

- Oh no, she no want to look at my face, not yet.

She's not blind enough in love yet to stand that.

(audience laughing)

Of course if I looked like that, that would be different.

Then the face would fitthe beautiful words.

Si, hey maybe I ought to send this picture.

(audience laughing)

- A picture of father? - Si.

- Have you lost your mind completely?

That's the worst idea you've had so far.

- But if it help makeElena fall more in love,

the blinder she will be,and pretty soon it won't

matter what I look like.(audience laughing)

- No, that's a stupid idea, I won't even argue about it.

- But--

- Excuse me for rushing, but I have to get to school.

Here's your letter and good luck.

- [Fronk] Gracias, muchos gracias, senorita.

- [Betty] Bye, bye.

(dramatic instrumental music)

(serene instrumental music)

- [Elena Voiceover] Iwould very much like you

to send me a photographia of yourself.

(serene instrumental music)

(dramatic instrumental music)

- Elena, if you want aphotographia, you shall

have a photographia. (audience laughing)

A handsome one. Ah, Elena.

(serene instrumental music)

(Spanish spoken)

- Hey, the lawn is certainly shaping up.

- Gracias.

Oh say, Senor, would youdo me the favor and tell

senorita Betty that Ialready got an answer to

the second letter she wrote.

- Okay I'll-- (audience laughing)

What did you say? (audience laughing)

You got an answer to thesecond letter she wrote?

(audience laughing)

What do you mean?- She did not tell you?

- No.

- She has been writing letters for me to my lady friend.

- Oh she has, has she? (audience laughing)

- Si, and it's working magnifico.

She should get a real big medal.

- Yeah, she's a real big meddler all right.

(audience laughing)

So we're writing littlelove letters, are we?

(audience laughing)

- [Betty] What did you say?

- I thought I told you to stay out of that.

- He asked me to do it, he begged me.

Didn't he, Mother? - Yes.

I don't think we ought to make an issue over this.

Oh, dear, if you think of it, bring home some

table flowers tonight, the Davis's are coming to dinner.

- Don't change the subject.

Now listen, Betty, Betty? (audience laughing)

- Did I do so wrong, if it'smaking Fronk happier every day?

- [Jim] And probably getting him deeper

into trouble each day too.

- Oh now I doubt any harm's been done.

Betty shouldn't have written the letters,

but Fronk was so bashful, he never would have

gotten anywhere on his own.

- Well when he gets to wherever you people

are pushing him, I hope he enjoys it. (audience laughing)

Don't involve me in this. (audience laughing)

And when the trouble starts, don't come to me.

- [Margaret] Don't forget the flowers. (door closing)

- [Jim Voiceover] Whatthe heck was I supposed

to bring home tonight?

Davis's, dinner,meat? Ice cream?

(audience laughing)

Peanuts? Oh well, probably expects me to forget any way.

(audience laughing)

(serene instrumental music)

(audience laughing)

(serene instrumental music)

That's it, flowers.

(upbeat instrumental music)

(audience laughing)

(bell rings)

- Fronk, you gooutside, you wait there.

- But the money, senora.

- Fronk, Fronk, go,go. (audience laughing)

- Look, he's here. (audience laughing)

- He's here? - Si.

- Senor Smith? - Senor Smith.

(audience laughing)

(serene instrumental music)

- That's him, no doubt about it.

(bell rings)

(audience laughing)

(serene instrumental music)

A little old but otherwise he's much better

than I ever dreamed. (audience laughing)

Still with these fancy ones, one must proceed

with great caution. (audience laughing)

- What do I do now, Mama? What do I say to him?

- Nothing, nada, he'll talk to me.

- But you must not let on to know who he is

because then he will know you have been reading his letters

and that might displease him.

- Do not worry, I know how to handle matters such as this.

- [Jim] Hello, anybody here?

(upbeat instrumental music)

(audience laughing)

- I'm sorry to keep you waiting.

May I help you? - Yes, I'd like some flowers.

Something suitable for a table decoration.

- We make somethingvery, very nice for you.

Would you like to have something like this?

Or maybe perhaps you like these?

- Whatever you think.

- And this little extra,the occasion is for

a dinner, of course. - That's right.

(audience laughing)

- At your house. (audience laughing)

- Yes, that's right.

- And it must be a very nice house I imagine, no?

(audience laughing)

- Well it's fairly nice I guess.

- Well about how large?(audience laughing)

- I'm in a little bit of a hurry,

would you mind speeding this up?

- But of course, it's natural you're anxious

to meet your friendafter a hard day of work

at where did you say you work? (audience laughing)

- Down the street, up in a bank building.

- A bank. (audience laughing)

You're very low in this work.

- Look, excuse me, ifyou're concerned at all

about my credit rating,please don't be.

I intend to take care of this big transaction with cash.

(audience laughing)

How much is it?

- For anyone else, $ . (audience laughing)

But for you, two. (audience laughing)

- Okay.

Oh I'm afraid I'm a little short, will you take a check?

- Well of course, with you, no question.

(audience laughing)

(upbeat instrumental music)

(audience laughing)

- Okay, here you are.

- Mille grazie, I hope I seeyou from now on very often, no?

- Well-- - Oh the flowers.

What's this? This is the name, Anderson?

- Of course. - It's not Smith?

(audience laughing)

- Smith, of course not.

Now what's going on here any way? All these questions.

Can't a man buy a simplebouquet of flowers for his wife?

- What, wife? (audience laughing)

You are married?

- Certainly I'm married,what's that to you?

- What's that to me?

I am her mother and youask what's that to me?

(audience laughing)

From the very beginning, I knew you were a phony one,

now get out of here, get out of here.

(audience laughing)

I didn't trust you from the start, get out, vaya, vaya!

- Look I haven't-- - Vaya, vaya!

(audience laughing)

Never come back here. - Yes, all right.

Then she started shakingher finger into my nose

and screaming vaya, vaya, vaya! (audience laughing)

Then she practically threw me out of the flower shop.

Now what do you make of that?

- This is awful, Father.

I hate to tell you, but it's really kind of funny.

(audience laughing)

- Funny?

- That's the shop where Fronk's girlfriend works.

- That was Fronk's girlfriend? (audience laughing)

- No, that must have been mama, Mama Berta,

the peeping Tom in the back room was evidently Elena.

- What made her think that I was Fronk,

or Smith, whoever.

- That's what I'm wondering.

Betty, how did you sign those letters?

- Well I just signed them Senor Smith,

his U.S.A. last name. (audience laughing)

I have no idea why she'd think that father was the one--

Wait, wait. (audience laughing)

(dramatic instrumental music)

(audience laughing)

It's gone.

Oh that Fronk, that stupid Fronk.

- What's gone?

- The snapshot of fatherthat was stuck in here.

Fronk must have sent it to Elena as a picture of himself.

- Why did you let him doa fool thing like that?

- I didn't, he wanted to do it and I said absolutely not.

Evidently he must have stuck it in the letter any way.

- Oh, dear, what a fine mix up.

(serene instrumental music)

- I'm sorry.

I guess I shouldn't have started writing those letters.

I was only trying to help Fronk.

- Well you helped, all right. Helped ruin his romance.

Too bad too, because that Elena is not bad looking.

Ol' battle a* mama you can have. (audience laughing)

Elena, not bad at all.

- Well maybe we canexplain things to Elena.

- How can you explain that Senor Smith looks like me,

but he isn't, he's Fronk? (audience laughing)

And these letters arewritten by a girl and--

(doorbell rings)

Oh brother, I give up. (audience laughing)

- [Betty] Well perhaps we should--

- Oh, dear, I hope those aren't the Davis's already.

- Oh, Fronk. - Senor Anderson.

I have come to apologize what I did to you by your picture.

- What you did to me? (laughing)

Come on in.

Wait 'til you hear what I did to you. (audience laughing)

- Si, I know, I have just come from the flower shop.

And you never would believe what happened to me.

Even after I tell you what happened to me,

you will not believeit. (audience laughing)

Boy I did not know whatwas going on when mama

push me out through the back door and told me to wait.

So I waited, and waited,and finally I hear mama

making big, loud talk and Elena crying.

I cannot stop myself from peeking inside just a little.

(crying)

- Do not waste any moretears on this umbrella.

Now he's muy malo.

Oh from the beginning Iknew this Senor Smith,

Anderson, was a phonyone. (audience laughing)

- The letters were so beautiful.

- The letters, bah, such letters.

- But such letters I never received before.

- And never again, I hope. (crying)

Oh, Fronk. - Senora.

- I forgot all about you, I am sorry.

Wait, I get the money. (crying)

- Please, Senorita, do not cry. (crying)

- Here you are, Fronk.

- About the sadness of the senorita.

- $ . .

- There is a confessionthat I must--

- There will be no more sadness.

This Senor Smith Anderson is worth no sadness.

Look at this face,Fronk, and tell Elena if

it's not the face of un perro, a dog. (audience laughing)

See, even Fronk can tell. (audience laughing)

Look at those eyes, too close together,

and the ears, oh, aman with ears like that

is not to be trusted. (audience laughing)

Elena, look how different is Fronk's face.

Round, honest eyes, nice shaped ears,

but this face, do you know, Fronk?

This man has a wife,and yet he writes words

of love to my Elena, would you write such letters?

Of course not, oh this man, nothing but lies.

Do not cry, Elena, anyone would be better for you

than this fancy Senor Smith. (audience laughing)

Even a plain one, like Fronk here. (audience laughing)

At least he has trust.

- Mama please do not talk so, you're embarrassing Fronk.

He has never even looked at me.

- Never looked at you?

(serene instrumental music)

Oh, Senorita, from the first day I come here,

I have looked at you with the eyes, with the heart,

it was you who never looked at me.

(serene instrumental music)

- Well.

(serene instrumental music)

So look now. (audience laughing)

Look now, my dear. (audience laughing)

- And now you are allinvited to the wedding.

- Wedding? - You're kidding?

- Oh well that's wonderful, but isn't this awfully fast?

- What is fast?

We have been in love for a whole year,

only we was just too dumb to know it. (audience laughing)

- Is Elena in full agreement with this? (honking)

What I mean-- - Excuse me.

Okay, honey. (audience laughing)

- Hurry, Fronk, we mustget to the city hall

for the license before it closes.

- Okay, honey, that answer your question?

- Indeed it does.

- Well congratulations,Fronk, you better hurry.

Good luck. - Goodbye.

- Good luck.

- Oh, she's awfully pretty, isn't she?

- Well I never thoughtthis would come to pass.

Not with Ms. Cupid's letters, and my picture and all.

(audience laughing)

- Adios, adios.

- Now she's rid us all us meddlers, and mama to boot.

(audience laughing)

- You want a bet? Look.

(audience laughing)

(audience applause)

(upbeat instrumental music)