02x14 - Still Bill's Dad

[bunniefuu]

[Music]

congratulations on your new satellite

dish for your safety always wha-wha-wha

never have a satellite dish work well

honey you know when you look in the sky

you see stars hmm well those are the

stars of your favorite TV shows and

satellite dish sucks him out of the sky

like a magic vacuum cleaner puts him in

our TV daddy you know eventually she's

gonna get older and no you're just

making stuff up am i yeah you just told

that satellite suck TV shows out of the

sky don't they that it doesn't make it

true just because you say it like a

question doesn't it

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

alright I will see you soon Oh

grandfather will be here any minute I

can't wait to see grandpa I could really

use the money hey hey what did I tell

you about taking money from your

grandfather know you could have am right

now go upstairs and put on that ugly

reindeer sweater ESET you for Christmas

yeah see I earn my hair hello loved ones

hand tolerated 10 my song consequence of

my sister's attempt to make another man

jealous bail your father call from the

expressway you should be here any minute

oh great that gives me about five

minutes to grow a backbone and become a

man for God's sake did it quote the last

Christmas card he sent me I am making

effort he drove all the way up from

Florida to see him you can use this time

to work on your relationship we have

worked on it we got it down to 20

beautiful minutes once every few years

beautiful hi you to sit on the couch

barely talking while he eats a bag of

nuts and once they're gone so is he I

don't get it he's such a sweet guy you

only like him because he feeds you all

those cheesy compliments do realize

you're prettying yourself up for my dad

any creep hey grandpa oh my God look at

the size you used for last time I was

here you were tip squeak oh it looks

like this joint has a bouncer look at

you two carrot top puddin pop as

beautiful as ever I'm wearing that

sweater that you sent me did you put

that on just when I give you money cuz

it's working

I want money to Gina I want money please

as long as you can answer one question

how does your mother get younger every

year did you just giggle look at this

one one sister just as pretty as the

next okay kids go put half of your money

away hey Dad hey Bill good to see you

give me a son Oh Oh al house one either

fine let me tell you something though

takes a brave man to marry a woman 20

years as junior they can be very

demanding at bedtime sexually dad dad we

get it so how's it going at that

department store they promote you to the

makeup counter yet hey I'm kidding why

are you so sensitive I didn't say

anything okay okay I'll back off ok well

let you two talk i'm sure you have a lot

to catch up on so how was the drive good

how was work good I just wish bill would

develop some sort of relationship with

his father I mean he never comes five

the kids barely know their grandfather

yeah that's sad but the important thing

is he said I was pretty honey come say

goodbye my dad's leaving already well we

were hoping you'd stay for dinner no

thanks honey I I gotta check into my

motel and not I'm getting together with

some friends well bill why don't you go

with your dad what what yeah might be

fun and you'd love to have

there wouldn't yell I guess gonna go I

guess I'm meeting some buddies from a

steel mill you know we're gonna go to to

see his tower and visit our old pal

learning and have a drink Oh Ernie lives

in the Sears Tower sort of he fell into

the blast furnace when we're making a

beams but pretty sure he's holding up to

30 second floor so you toasted him now

you're toasting him hey a little respect

for the dead sorry so I'm punching the

hell out of Bernie but that dumb son of

a look on wall you fall to know

that dump zombie what were you guys

fighting about what the hell difference

does that make so now I got a dilemma I

get a give him enough of a b*ating so

that he don't remember what happened but

not enough so that he d*ed their knees

back at work the next day that's how

precise a b*ating your old man can I on

summer learning who are a lift your

glass you def bastard with toasting

earnings ha tourney yeah you ought to

tell that story about how you b*at him

up grinds is a little hard of hearing

too many shifts near the grinder so well

how come you never got your boy a job at

the milk well you couldn't cut it easy

was always the clean fingernails book

lyman type oh there is a college boy huh

I only went for six weeks yeah we're

drinking would walk to Shakespeare over

here me Oh college boy wants us to call

him William no no that's not my name

that Shakespeare's well it is my name

too but calm down son you're

embarrassing yourself

so let's get out of here and find a

place to watch the hockey game you know

I just got a new satellite dish we can

watch it back at my place fine slim

Scully and I'll meet you there see you

there college boy I flunked out what I

flunked out hey watch your mouth this is

a classy place trying that's fine right

that's my beer grinds keep it early and

you see ya you can say old geezer he

can't hear a word you saying we should

be well he was supposed to meet us back

here but that was a couple hours ago so

I'm guessing he ditched us why would he

do that because he didn't want me to go

in the first place and I didn't want to

go the only person who wants us to be

together is you you are being so

stubborn I am NOT being stubborn i just

decided a long time ago it's just not

worth it oh yeah the famous bow hunting

trip let it go three miserable days of

him trying to make me into a man for god

sake well you need a tent for shelter

dad how about shelter there's only tents

yeah because they have fur and a k

where's my cane ice made it into a

little flame caps it all off by putting

the fake arrow through his head and let

me think I sh*t it was a little joke oh

yeah real funny knock knock who's there

you k*lled your father I'm turning in

you don't live here droids

[Music]

hey hey fine Oh Ronald's coming over

we're going to train for the math

Olympics math Olympics what country

competing for nerd landia go ahead and

joke dad these math competitions are

fierce and grooming your father and I

will be there Saturday to cheer you on

Oh Saturday let me just check my day

planner ah that's the night of the WCW

slugfest dad don't worry about it it's

just a regional finals you know most

parents will have a video camera maybe I

can get you a tape right we'll put it

with the others yeah what he said it was

okay but he doesn't mean it and it's not

okay Judy its a math made and math plus

bill equals slumber hello yeah I'll

millers my father what where okay okay

we'll be right there that was good

samaritan hospital apparently my dad's

in the cardiac ward god Brian watch Gina

will be back in a little while don't

tell the kids you're right we don't want

to panic him panic me about what not

saying your mother and I just have to

rush down to the hospital the hospital

no big deal if you need us we'll be in

the cardiac ward the cardiac ward

panicky I didn't tell him it was grandpa

grandpa

God he looks terrible this can't be good

we don't know that Judy this has got to

be serious my dad never goes to Doctors

this is a guy who once told me a little

gangrene never hurt anybody his dad

could you trust what's wrong with him

let's see well you'll have to wait for

the doctor but if you want to say

something to him I'd say it quick too

bad calm down we don't have all the

details she said if I want to talk to

him I should do it quick stop assuming

the worst it could mean anything like

what juvie what what I don't know your

father's dying I was trying to be nice

oh well it's waking up what should I do

this could be your last gene hey Dad

well I don't know what happened i was

having this terrible pain so I took a

cab over here and now they're doing all

sorts of tests on my heart Oh in case I

don't get a chance to say it sorry for

ditching it last night no no it was

funny grind steak for breakfast well I'm

glad you had fun sometimes I feel like

like you don't like spending time with

me no I don't know where you got that I

love spending time with you really sure

we had some great times together what

was your favorite just picks one anyone

at all

well I guess that bow hunting trip we

went on was fun I thought you hated that

trip no it really toughened me up you

know being in the forest and the dead of

winter you pretending I k*lled you me

crying to my face froze yeah yeah that

was a fun time I hope we can do that

again sometime yeah sure so be great to

do that again all right mr. Miller your

tests were fine you can go home okay doc

he's okay yeah just a little acid reflux

you might be a little shaky for a couple

of hours that's why I called your son to

drive you home so my father's not dying

dying no he'll bury us all but the nurse

said if we had stopped beside when we

should say it quick yeah she is a real

stickler for a visiting hours tonight

take it easy tomorrow back to normal the

big question is when can I go bow

hunting with my son anytime you hear

that son the Miller men have a date for

the great outdoors okay visiting hours

are over oh you couldn't have said that

the first time

[Music]

Bravo c-span MTV history Showtime

learning QVC Chinese Chinese

Chinese are you doing I thought you and

your dad would be getting ready for the

big bow hunting trip I haven't heard

from him i'm just hoping he's forgotten

all about it you know kind of like my

birthday's my graduation my first name a

couple of times oh what a beautiful day

out there Billy get your lazy butt off

that self will come and help me with

this stuff where'd you get all this I

borrowed it from slim for a trip

tomorrow tomorrow I learned the other

day that the future is now life is a

very precious thing let's go out there

and k*ll us some deer yeah I don't know

sounds not really the hunting type of

guy don't sell bill short as a hunter

after all he begged the most beautiful

girl in Chicago oh go on yeah I'd have a

good week thing is dad I was planning to

watch a fight tomorrow night well fight

I ordered the WCW slugfest on

pay-per-view what the fake wrestling

with the phony baloneys in tights that's

not a fight come out on alone I'll show

you a fight and I'm not going out on the

lawn with you I'm always kidding i know

you have a sense of humor I seen you try

and play football listen listen I

realized something in that hospital bed

I have made a lot of unfair remarks

about you being a candy-ass and I just

want to say I'm sorry thank you it's all

my fault that you're a candy yet but I

raised you soft but I gotta hand it to

you it took a lot of guts to come to

that hospital and begged me to finally

make a man out of you well I just thank

God we have the second chance

you promised me he was dying he looked

like he was well you're supposed to know

for sure I count on your medical

expertise I'm a dental assistant I make

appointments and help people to bite

down on this bike down on this because

of you I'm stuck going to the woods with

a maniac armed with steel-tipped arrows

which you're probably made out of his

old coworkers I just wanted you to have

some sort of relationship with your

father but clearly that is not going to

happen so if you don't want to go on

this trip why don't you just tell him I

can't I look him in the eye and he gives

me that scary dad glare well then fine

be afraid of him for the rest of your

life but you know what bill he's not

that scary well what do you maybe the

girl with the angel eyes and the smile

that can light up a room he treats me

differently to how he treats you I just

wish you'd understand that angel eyes

lantern check pompous check latrine what

okay we are off to the math Olympics

yeah have fun on your trip down you want

a bow and arrow in case one of them reps

makes you bad call no I've got my w*apon

right here corpus callosum so the left

brain with the right brain is thinking

oh good luck oh you guys are getting

ready for the big trip bill isn't there

something you want to get out of your

system that's been bothering you you

know something that's been weighing you

down for a long time don't worry Judy we

got this well good luck honey hey I told

you to turn off that stupid wrestling

this is research that sleeper hold might

come in handy if I don't k*ll the deer

all away okay that's it what are you

doing exactly what I did with your baby

blanket 40 years ago why would you do

that doing you a favor listen son you

have to learn how to live like instead

of just watching it and when you get

back from this trip you will be able to

set a better example for that boy of

yours make them more of a man what's

that supposed to mean math Olympics

since when is math the sport for guys

like Brian's fine he doesn't need to

change and I'm not gonna pull the same

crap on him you pulled on me woody

transect though I'm trying to say I

hated that bow hunting trip I didn't

want to go then I don't want to go now I

only said all those nice things at the

hospital because I thought you were

dying I don't know why I bother

you're never gonna change oh haha yeah

look who's dying again it's not gonna

work this time dad all very funny look

who's turning blue oh crap prove that

the altitudes of a triangle are

bisectors in the triangle formed by

connecting the meeting points of the

altitude with the size of the original

triangle what are you doing here hunting

trips off where's your dad in the

hospital how's it going wish I broke his

rib hi I'm looking in someone I met bill

he'll be fine he was choking on a peanut

the important thing is I finally told

him what I thought you finally got

through to him huh you'll never change

but since I put him in the hospital he's

a little scared of me did you came to

see fine yeah well I decided I should

work on a relationship and I can

actually do something about question 33

mathletes on your mark let a be sandy

the integers of decreasing value greater

than zero suppose that a times C plus B

times C equals the product of B plus D

plus a minus B times B plus B minus a

pleasure prove that a times B plus C

times e if not she does I think Oh Brian

that's my boy you can tell your dad no

well never was a story of more woe than

this of Juliet and her Romeo you know

your son is a nice boy you can't write

worth crap

[Music]