02x22 - Still Champions

[bunniefuu]

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unbelievable the next word is lover than

guilty as charged three more birthday

party invitations 14 now why does our

daughter have to be so popular I don't

know I live with her I don't see it

she's been on the kitty party a list

ever since you taught her how to burp

happy birthday not giving a music in the

schools anymore oh man this Saturday is

kami Kelly's birthday party she's gonna

really want to go to that one not if she

never reads it didn't work for my last

home pregnancy test it's not gonna work

for this twice I Lisa oh I had to go to

this stupid wedding that wasn't mine and

I had to wear this stupid dress how

better look anywhere hideous if you took

it off I might cheer up you want to take

Tina to kami Kelly's birthday party this

Saturday how would that sirmium their

class is known for its divorce straight

obstacle damn ok dad's camis mom's

married to a woman and most of their

friends are gay too how then will be a

surprise party oh my god bill look at

this Melanie golf seventh birthday

Jamboree lower RSVP mr. and mrs. willie

gault will he go Willie go Willie God

chicago bears we're going to a party at

Willie Gault our who's really gone dear

God I raised a woman

he was a football player for the 85

phase the greatest team ever assembled

to play any sport ever on any planet and

we're taking Tina to a party in his

house this Saturday oh my god it's

Saturday that's the same time as gamma

Kelly's birthday party mmm kami seen his

best friend wonder which party should

want to go to something tells me you're

not going to get to meet your hero maybe

it's my woman's intuition

[Applause]

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what are we gonna do we have to go to

Willie Gault party I've never wanted

anything in my life as much as this

until this now it's all been leading up

to this moment I see that now getting

married having the three kids it was all

so I could get this invitation yeah I

did it all to piss off my father guess I

showed him huh you know it's up to Tina

whether she wants to go to cami or

Melanie yeah you're right Tina I'm gonna

tell a cami d*ed only imagine the look

on Cena's face when cami comes back to

life on Sunday daddy no mommy I'll

handle this daddy's too busy hitting

rock bottom honey I know that you have

camis birthday party on Saturday yeah

it's gonna be so much fun uh-huh well

you know what you also have another

birthday party on Saturday your bestest

friend in the whole wide world Melanie

golf I hate know any girls Tina you know

we were just talking to camis doc bill

it's not nice to hate people you know

you want to be nice and go to their

parties I don't want to be nice to her

she's mean well maybe there's a reason

she's me you know sometimes people are

mean because they're really sad inside

why would she be sad well maybe things

are sad at home why I don't know maybe

her mommy and daddy don't love each

other you mean they're getting a divorce

if that'll get you over there

haina it's up to you which party you

want to go to but you know what take a

couple of days think about it I want to

go out at Cammy's like I said take a

couple of days I don't need a couple

days like today especially if you take

the day we can't bleep this up to her we

have an opportunity to meet an 85 Bears

well I'm sorry fell you know we can't go

to a seven year olds birthday party

without our seven year old you really

think they'll buy it of course we've got

Tina's jacket if we tell him she's here

why would they suspect up a lot I mean

what kind of people would come to a kids

party with just their kids coat and

after kids exactly no seriously I man hi

I'm Karen called Melanie's mom Oh Bill

and Judy Miller Tina's parents she was

just here where did that little scamp

run off I'm glad you can make it Melanie

adores Tina well you should hear the way

she talks about Melanie and that's why

she's here somewhere come on I

introduced you to Willie Gault yeah well

somebody's had too many juice boxes oh

that's Melanie's all stalled in the

store I just had to have it just like

Dina had to be here and she is cheesy

tell me when I tell you put your doll

upstairs you go sweetie okay look at the

birthday girl yeah happy birthday hey

this is Bill and Judy Tina's parents

Tina's pairs oh great to meet you can oh

wow bear hug you know billions always

tell me how much you love Tina so I

already know matter like you guys well

I've always loved you even longer than I

love Tina what I have to say more and I

could've

where is Tina oh she's probably on the

moon bounce out fast yes there sure

it'll be with me and some of my old

teammates to just hang it out citizen

Scott aren't you doing it teammates to

bears do travel in packs yeah sifter

than hanging with bear so I look him in

the eye spit up my mouthpiece and say

you just trying to step on me again see

what happens I didn't yes Tim reitman he

did yeah very next play and what

happened next well mike tomczak I'm glad

you asked I knocked him on his ass after

he gained 12 yards ma'am deal you're

really something oh thanks Willie golf

you know bill you don't have to call Val

fool named yeah but i can write i gotta

say these kids parties usually suck but

this one's a lot of fun bill you like

steak oh you serious in the words of my

arteries don't know some steak house

they sent me a bunch of gift

certificates cuz i did a commercial form

i'd love for you to have one well then

you'd really love for me to have to you

can have one gotcha Oh guys this is my

wife Judy Tim reichman mike tomczak

super bowl champs my new pals wow so

great to meet you guys must be an honor

to be married to k*ller Miller good old

number 42 well you haven't been telling

your old high school football stories to

three Chicago Bears it was for the

fridge got bored and left yeah you wanna

see my trophy room now i'll show you my

Super Bowl ring Oh

super super bowl ring yeah Jersey the

game ball you might get a kick out of it

you might get a kick out of seeing a

grown man cry sorry my husband's being

so crazy he's just a huge fan that's

okay no it's nice that people still get

excited about seeing us oh that's great

did you know there was a time in 1985

when I thought Tim reitman was the right

man for me you know I have never heard

that one before I don't mean to worry

you with Melanie says she hasn't seen

Tina really know because that's because

I just saw by the punch bowl well see if

you can find her cuz we're about through

the cake and mounting can't wait to hear

Tina burp happy birthday oh that's so

cute I'll go gasps her off oh yeah yeah

party's over are you talking about the

party's just begun Willie just let me

hold a ball from the Super Bowl I tossed

it back to him he caught it I'm one for

one lifetime with Willie golf we got a

song melanie hasn't seen Tina and she

wants her to burp happy birthday stupid

Melanie no Tina's right I don't like her

either get out of here how we gonna walk

past Willie without tina I got a plan

good idea I'll distract Willie by making

out with right plan but thanks for

sounding so eager

thank you guys so much for coming thank

you for asking we're so sorry did she

fell asleep must have been all that moon

bounce and that tired her out you want

me to get you a piece of cake okay no no

can't believe we did it and we didn't

get caught you know what's good about

doing a lot of stupid things in your

life eventually you get better at it hey

guys how's the party it was great mike

tomczak was there and Tim Lightman I

have no idea who those people are and

that magician you love Lance Burton was

there no but now you know how excited I

was this should have seen me I was

hanging out with Willie Gault you let me

throw a game ball touches Jersey you

didn't let me try on a Super Bowl ring

oh you mean the one you have on yeah the

one I you know if Lance Burton we're

here you can make that ring disappear

yeah okay great we'll have a safe trip

Willie you're not going to believe this

the bolts are going to Florida tonight

they want us to hang on to the ring

clearly he wasn't mad no I don't know

what you did but this guy loves you he's

gonna call us when he gets back he wants

to set up a playdate playdate what what

does he want to do for Melanie and teeth

oh all right yeah but I'm still friends

with Willie golfing now I gotta guard

this ring with my wet where's the race

resin I don't know where to play I

didn't put it anywhere it was right here

I got always hold of the things feel

same thing are you sure you didn't take

I didn't take your check your pocket up

there why don't you check you oh yeah

bill I took the ring and I put it in my

pock hey how would cami Kelly's birthday

party nada lesbians really it's really

now I'm in a softball league

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what tables still not ready yet Jesus my

reservation was for 45 minutes ago maybe

we should just go no I'm not leaving the

best steakhouse in Chicago I got a gift

certificate and I already smelled

drilled me so if i wanted to leave my

stomach wouldn't let me here she comes

finally your table is ready they just

got here two minutes ago I'm sorry sir

they have a reservation I'm afraid

you'll just have to wait yeah we have a

reservation to right right here Miller

you've already SAT three parties ahead

of us it's not fair to treat some people

better than other it's not a Super Bowl

ring well yeah it is 85 Bears I'm sorry

sir I'll have your table right away oh

thanks we're in the ring you told me not

to lose it so I put it in the safest

place possible where's your wedding ring

I'm a sink in the bathroom no wait no

faster I'll find a woman guess old table

will be ready in a moment in the

meantime Hector open a bottle of

champagne for these two it's on the

house only the best for a Super Bowl

bear d*ck we should be doing this excuse

me did I hear her right you were on the

85 Bears well I'm wearing the ring on a*

man you got in May a Super Bowl ring on

one hand and a supermodel wife on the

other haha one vogue cover does not make

you a super get over here and shake

hands with a real sports legend what

position did you play outside linebacker

what's your name Bill Miller I was just

third string didn't get into a lot of

games you'd have to be a huge fan to

remember me Bill Miller I totally

mind if I get a picture of you to show

my wife oh oh I don't think you want to

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where have you been you were supposed to

be home at one I had a dog okay you put

up gone it's an exclusive course I

couldn't get on it without the ring

gotten into the private dress sale or

out of my speeding ticket for the first

time a cop was looking at my chest for

all the wrong reasons okay fine but I

call it to tomorrow I'm going to a cubs

game I want to talk my way into a luxury

box fair you've been hogging it all week

that's because i've been using it to get

free stuff for the family oh yeah cuz we

all sit around smoking cigars in our

size 11 sneakers I think you forgetting

who's ring this is the pretend Super

Bowl player i think i got more rice than

the pretend wife how about I pretend I'm

somebody else's child

[Applause]

hello oh hey Willie you enjoying your

vacation what oh yeah yeah yeah we

should do that all right we'll see you

tomorrow okay bye they cut the trip

short he wants the ring what but we are

supposed to have more time gotta play in

a charity golf tournament horrible yeah

it's for kids in China who can't get

medicine that's bad too well it was fun

being a bear you know the great tables

and the restaurants the free stuff

sneakers the cigars the jet ski jet ski

come on Monday I'm gonna miss this

little guy yeah sure is a beauty look at

all those diamonds yeah weird the little

of space right there I'll that's not a

space that's what a diamond Houston

you just have to take it shopping think

you just had to take it to your old

football coach's house yeah to rub it in

the face of the guy who benched me

senior year yeah remember me cuz I help

you folks yeah we'd like to replace a

tiny stone tonight if possible let me

take a look-see Oh Lord in heaven this

in 1985 Chicago Bears Super Bowl

championship ring I yesterday judge

again it well if you must know I I

played on the team Bill Miller outside

linebacker no linebacker corps was

singletary Wilson and marshes no sure I

was about no bad cops were Jim Mora see

Ron Rivera and cliff trip I would the

kicker you're Kevin Butler Oh add the

punter Laurie Buford okay I was

equipment manager you happy the

equipment managers name was Jackie Jones

on the phone the truth is this is Willie

Gault ring he's a friend of mine he

knows I have it was education where'd

you live for well I guess you know we

liked how people gave a special

treatment when we were wearing it you

know great service free stuff we're

treated like royalty you can understand

that right if I was a terrible person

I'm a real fan real fan would treat this

ring with respect the 85 Bears mental

effort is city sir the men want to me so

I was Willie Gault it was sickened me to

think that you took something I worked

so hard to get and flaunted it around

for free stuff teen dr. Leung Friedman

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so after he said all that we just knew

we had to come over here and tell you

everything yeah not since I picked out

my wife's engagement ring of I've been

so shamed by a jeweler I don't know how

to break it to you but that's don't sell

out years ago what yeah but that was

really cool you you're great gambia it's

important that our families can be

friends because you can't put a price on

that and if you could it be four hundred

dollars you know it's really cool when

you guys came clean like that you know

honesty is something I look for my

friends okay 385 can I go home now

Melanie won't stop crying why is Melanie

Klein I told their parents are getting a

divorce what honey who told you that

daddy sweetie now you know I didn't say

that I I simply said they might might

not love each other anything really I

can't believe you told bill we were

getting divorce we haven't told anybody

yet chillin tomczak must get old topic

he listens all right I'm gonna go talk

to Melanie wait a minute you two really

are getting a divorce hold on if you

didn't know why'd you tell Tina she just

misunderstood I just told her that

together to come to Melanie's party I

didn't go to Melanie's carry you didn't

Yeah right we came to a seven year olds

birthday party without our kid and all

we brought was her jacket that's what

you do yeah maybe you should go so I I

guess we'll see you at Toms acts fish

fry we should we should go Oh italy 0

cups wonderful son calcium Trevi

Fountain we even had an audience with

the public yeah he's a great guy he

blessed a bunch of stuff I got to touch

his hat he even let me try on it ah

Thank dream yeah this time it was the

Pope

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