02x07 - Foul Balled/The Boy Who Would Be Queen

[bunniefuu]

♪ Timmy is an average kid

♪ That no one understands

♪ Mom and dad and vicky

♪ Always giving him commands

Bed, twerp!

♪ The doom and gloom up in his room ♪

♪ Is broken instantly

♪ By his magic little fish who grant his every wish ♪

♪ 'Cause in reality

♪ They are his oddparents

♪ Fairly oddparents

♪ Wands and wigs

♪ Floaty crowny things

♪ Oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪

♪ Really mod, pea pod, buff bod, hot rod ♪

♪ Obtuse, rubber goose, green moose, guava juice ♪

♪ Giant snake, birthday cake, large fries, chocolate shake ♪

♪ Oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪

♪ It flips your lid when you are the kid ♪

♪ With fairly oddparents

Yeah, right.

Nice catch, cosmo.

Thanks. Can I be a bat now?

Go for it! Yay!

Thanks for helping me warm up, guys.

Thanks for letting us come to your

Little league game today, timmy.

Yeah! I love baseball!

What's the name of your team?

The losers.

How'd you get that name?

Ow! Owie!

Ow! Ooh, chunky!

Who are you guys playing today?

Timmy: the burlingville overactive thyroids.

Hard to believe those kids are .

Ow!

Cool!

All we need to do is get hits and runs

And no outs and we might have a chance!

[Crowd boos] oh, no.

It's chester,

The worst player on the team.

That's how he got the nickname:

Chester, the worst player on the team.

Apparently the other team

Doesn't see him as much of a thr*at.

Don't let 'em psyche you out, chester!

Knock it out of the park!

[Sighs]

Wait! It bounced against his braces

And split into separate--

Yet still in play--

Pieces of baseball.

Let's see.

Outs each, times players...

Outs!

That's innings of outs in one swing!

Game over! Losers lose!

[Booing]

He can't run or hit, but when it comes to getting out

He's the king!

Chester, it's time to go home.

Come on, dude. It's just a game.

Yeah, well,

Tell that to my dad.

Bucky mcbadbat is your dad?

He was the worst baseball player ever!

That's why I have to become a big baseball star,

To redeem my family name!

You mean "mcbadbat"?

Shh! Don't say that name!

It's not safe to be a mcbadbat.

My dad has to hide his face in shame.

Aw, come on.

I'm sure nobody takes the game that seriously.

[Boom]

Isn't that your mailbox?

Not again!

Ok. We're playing -year-olds today

So we might have a chance.

Are you ready?

Are you in the zone?

Aaah! Batter up!

[Crowd boos]

Strike one!

Hey, maybe we can help chester.

How? Make him take up golf?

Umpire: strike two!

[Giggles]

I wish my friend was

The best baseball player ever!

Crowd: ooh!

Yay, chester!

Chester, you're the greatest

Baseball player ever!

You're totally on fire!

Literally.

Wait till my dad sees me now.

Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

[Fire engine siren]

Ok. Winning run is on first.

All I have to do is hit him in,

And we'll win the--

Chester's stolen second!

Cosmo: third!

My wallet!

My watch!

My pants!

Oh, you came here without those, honey.

Right!

Umpire: safe!

[Crowd cheers]

Timmy: I got it!

Finally,

It's my turn to be the star--

To make the last out!

There's no way chester can--

Baseball senses, tingling!

Fly ball. I got it!

I got it!

I got it, I got it!

You got it.

What's the matter, sport?

I just--

I usually don't mind our team losing,

But I like playing.

But now that chester's so good,

He doesn't even need a team anymore.

Well, it can't get much worse, right?

Chester: dude, be my pack mule

And carry my stuff.

Well, at least I'll get to touch the equipment.

That's the spirit!

Oops! Feeding time!

[Mule braying]

Ok. That's it!

I am so sick of being chester's lackey

And eating these oats.

Even if they are low in fat.

It's time to go back to the way things were.

Cosmo, wanda,

I unwish--

Chester: look, pop! Admirers.

Son, I don't know how

You magically got good at baseball

But...

I've never been more proud of you.

Will you sign your old man's bag?

Sure, pop!

Yahoo!

I feel the shame lifting.

Uh, you were saying?

Dad: timmy, it says here

That thanks to chester,

Your baseball team is so unbeatable

The only possible opponents remaining

Are actual major league baseball players!

And you're going to play the new york bankees

In the world series!

Wow!

These chester o's are a great part

Of any winner's complete breakfast.

Don't you want to try some

Timmy o's?

That loser cereal?

Ew! That's for pack mules!

Son, I need to achieve!

Hey, these are for pack mules!

Announcer: welcome back to what is sure to be

A history-making game of america's pastime

As the dimmsdale losers continue to systematically destroy

The best team of adults money can buy.

[Sobbing]

Guys, cheer up.

We're winning!

Why the long faces?

You play every position.

We don't even get to play anymore.

I was born this way.

They're right, chester.

Even though you are the greatest,

You've become a hog!

You don't let anyone else play or have fun.

Just because you're a great player

Doesn't mean you have to become a lousy friend!

A lousy friend?

That's what you think?

After I fed you, brushed your coat,

And let you carry my stuff?

Fine! Then I guess I'm not your friend anymore.

Well, gotta go!

My dad's out there,

And I'm gonna win the world series!

Hey, what happened to him?

Remember when you wished

Your friendwas the best player ever?

"I guess I'm not your friend anymore."

That means the wish was canceled.

Ha!

He's gonna stink again!

Oh, no! He's gonna stink again

Right in front of his dad.

Bucky: attaboy, chester! Ok, buddy.

You got that mcbadbat blood in you.

Oh, man! You look good in that uniform!

Crowd, chanting: chester! Chester!

Chester has taken the plate.

Look at him standing the wrong way,

Pretending he has no idea what he's doing.

Ok. I'm gonna hit this ball right out--

Umpire: strikes, you're out! There.

What in the name of vertically challenged newscasters is going on?

Mighty chester has struck out!

[Gasping]

[Cheering]

Let's make a small boy cry.

I got it! I got it!

[Laughing]

Timmy: chester, it's over!

You stink again.

I can't stink again!

I was just about to bring respect

Back to the name mcbadbat!

[Boom]

Dude, it may be over for chester--

The greatest baseball player ever,

But it's not over for chester, the worst player on our team!

And the best part of you stinking again

Is you're stinking with your friends--

Who also stink!

You mean,

Together we're a giant odor?

An odor so large

Your dad can't help but be proud of you.

Yeah!

[Laughter]

Stop laughing at my friend!

You're still down by runs

With one inning left.

There's no way you can catch us.

I can't believe they're about to catch us.

Hey, we got two outs.

Only because one guy laughed himself into a coma

And the other guy got traded to boston

As he rounded second.

One more out and we win, legally!

Just pitch. I have a plan.

Announcer: bases loaded, bottom of the ninth...

One out to go. I'm extremely handsome.

Timmy: hey, batter, batter!

Hey, batter, batter! Batter, batter!

Hey, batter, swing!

Hey, knock that off!

It's very distracting.

Don't let 'em get in your head, corky.

Kids: I got it! I got it!

I got it!

[Crowd cheers]

Losers win! Losers win! Losers win!

[Grumbling]

Whoa, whoa!

You're out, you're out,

You're out, you're out.

Even though they're unconscious,

They're still making , bucks a second.

Son, I just want to let you know

How proud I am of you.

Really? Of what?

I stink.

Yes, youdo... Out loud.

But in all my years in the majors,

I never knocked out an entire baseball team that fast!

Gee, thanks, pop.

Here you go, son,

Your own bag!

Awesome!

Chester seems really happy now.

Yeah, timmy. It sure was nice of you

To make a wish for your friend

Even though it ruined everyone's life.

Yep, lesson learned.

That's the last time I use magic to help anybody but me.

Gee, honey, I sure wish I could have some help finding my pants.

Ok, go ahead.

Neat!

A coupon for timmy o's? Those are for pack mules.

Both: last time?

Last time.

Uh, any idea what they're talking about?

Girls: blah, blah--shopping.

Blah, blah--clothes.

Blah, blah--hair!

Blah, blah--boy band.

Blah, blah-- we'll never notice you.

Nope. I don't speak girl.

Timmy: no, roderick! Don't do it!

She'll betray you again!

Timmy, sir, are you watching

One of those dumb, girly soap operas?

Hey, there's plenty of action on this show.

Tv announcer: we'll be back with more

Of the kissy kissy, goo gooromance hour,

Right after this!

[Blows kiss]

[Blows kiss]

What? I like the writing.

Girl: blah, blah, blah, blah, blah!

Dude, what's she saying, what's she saying?

Hang on.

Let me use my girl to geek translator.

Girl: blah, blah, blah, blah, blah!

Blah, blah, blah--

Who--blah, blah, blah-- didn't--blah, blah--

Get invited to my birthday party tomorrow?

Well, that's everybody who's anybody.

Great. Another year,

Another trixie tang birthday party

We didn't get invited to.

Not this time. Watch this.

Hi, trixie.

Blah, blah, blah.

Blah, bla-blah, blah, blah, blah...

Any idea what he's saying? Nope.

I don't speak geek.

Too bad we can't come to your party--

Blah, blah, blah, blah.

Because I got you a--

Blah, blah-- really great gift.

I heard that!

Here you go, tommy. The party's tomorrow.

And don't forget my gift.

Great lie, dude.

He's right.

You don't have a gift for trixie.

Yet! Now all I have to do is impress her with the right gift,

And she'll never forget my name again.

Woman on tv: roderick, can you ever forgive me?

I gotta go.

Roderick, no!

[Crash]

Timmy: I wish I knew what kind of gifts girls liked.

Hey, do girls like stink bombs?

No!

Well, how 'bout dead frogs?

[Ribbit]

Timmy: uh, no.

Girls don't like 'em and neither do i.

Wanda: sorry, sweetie.

You're not thinking like a girl.

Face it, timmy,

The only way you could think like a girl

Is if you wished you were one.

Ha! Like I'd wish I was a girl.

Ha ha! What a waste of a wish!

[Laughing]

Yeah, what a waste. You're right!

How stupid!

[High-pitched scream]

What did you do?

I didn't wish for this.

Well, you said, "I wish," and "girl."

Oh, yeah? Well, you know what I think?

Who cares what you think? You're a girl now.

Hey! I think like a girl now.

I can totally use my girl brain

And figure out what to get trixie for her birthday.

Oh, that's a great idea, little girly-girly.

Can I get the door for you, ma'am?

[Laughing]

Ma'am!

Oh, I'm off to the mall to find something

Trixie will like.

But just so you two have something to laugh at while I'm gone:

I wish you were a woman

And you were a man!

Both: what?

You're my godparents. No choice.

Congratulations!

You're now cosma and wando.

What's happening?

How come I suddenly know

Which boy bands rock out loud?

I don't know.

Why am I tempted to scratch myself

And not care who sees?

See ya!

Think like a girl.

Think like a girl.

Think like a--ooh!

The comic book store!

Do I still like comics?

Muscular guys in spandex fighting crime,

Cool!

Uh, right?

Are you seeing what I'm seeing?

Yeah! Dude--

A girl who actually likes comic books.

What's up with that?

I don't know. But I'm gonna stare at her

Until she feels so awkward

She has to talk to me.

What? A.j., Snap out of it.

No!

I've lost him!

[Sobs]

A.j.,

Come back!

Timmy: cool!

Skull squisher number ,

And there's only one left!

Hey! That's mine!

Let go!

It's mine! Mine!

[Laughing]

Trixie tang?

No, I'm in here by accident.

Understand? Accident.

If word gets out I like boy stuff,

All my friends will think I'm weird.

Please, please, keep it our secret, girl to girl.

Well, ok.

Deal.

You're my new best friend.

Ow!

Well, you know me. Who are you?

I'm tim--antha?

Ok, timantha.

Meet me outside schmookiedales in an hour.

We can mall and stuff.

Wow! She likes boy stuff, too.

Uh...hi.

Dead frog?

Don't do it! It's a trap!

Ugh!

Boy or girl, that's still gross!

[Sirens blare on tv]

[Burps]

Are you ready yet?

We were supposed to meet timmy at the mall

Minutes ago.

Oh! What do you think, this or this?

Which goes better with my eyes?

Just pick something.

Oh, I give up!

[Splash] [scream]

Would it k*ll you to leave the lid down?

Would it k*ll you to look before you sit?

[Burps]

Timmy: wow, this feels great!

It's like they're scrubbing all your troubles away.

And they're showing my favorite soap opera.

This place rules!

If only I could meet a boy confident enough

To admit he likes kissy kissy, goo goo,

I'd go out with him

Even if he wore a stupid pink hat.

Really?

But I'll bet he'd never come in here.

Well, he should.

If boys did more girl stuff,

Then girls would be able to do more boy stuff.

You know what, trixie?

You're right. Come on!

Where are we going?

Where girls fear to tread.

Chester: girls!

Dead frog?

Yecch!

Cool!

Aah!

No, wait!

I'm doing this for your own good.

Stop resisting.

Run!

Chester: I don't know what's up with those girls,

But we're safe in here.

Don't you think you're overreacting?

Dude,

Boys like comics,

Girls like dolls.

Boys like video games,

Girls like makeup.

We're different!

That's why we have different bathrooms.

[Flush]

Um...am I in the wrong room?

[Shrieks]

Nothing makes sense anymore.

Frog?

It was nice meeting you, trixie.

You know, all week people have been asking me

What I wanted for my birthday,

And you've given it to me. I have?

You've given me a friend who likes me for who I am.

That's all you wanted for your birthday,

A friend? Yep!

Someone who isn't afraid to say,

"Hey, I like kissy kissy, goo goo

And skull squisher!"

If you were a boy, I'd totally date you.

See you at my party. Bye!

Oh, you'll see me, all right.

[Music and laughter]

Ok, it's party time!

I wish I was a boy again.

Hey, what about us?

Aren't you gonna change us?

Blah, blah, blah!

Blah, hah!

Happy birthday, trixie!

Thanks, uh...

Who are they?

Who cares?

Right.

See, I told you firewood was the perfect gift.

Is she here? Did you check?

I'm sorry, that's all the guests, miss tang.

Nobody named timantha is at this party.

Timmy: happy birthday, trixie!

Timmy!

Dude, where's your gift?

I brought a special kind of gift,

Something you can't wrap up and put in a box.

Is it a deadly germ? A ghost?

Nope, even better than a deadly germ or a ghost.

Trixie, ahem, blah-- what you know.

I like you for who you are.

Blah, blah, blah, blah-- not for what everyone

Expects you to be... A friend to you.

Someone who isn't afraid to say,

"Hey, I like kissy kissy, goo goo

And skull squisher."

Oh, my gosh! That is so sweet.

[Gasps]

But, uh...

That's what I have girlfriends for.

Security! Huh?

Bye, timmy turner!

Hey!

You remembered my name!

Told you she'd want a gift.

It worked!

Because I treated trixie like a person

Instead of just a girl,

She remembered my name.

But she catapulted you out of the party.

Yeah, but she did it with love.

And that never would have happened

If you hadn't made me a girl.

Thanks. But don't ever do it again! Deal!

I wish you guys were back to the way you were born.

What?

This is the nose I was born with.

Can't a guy do something

To make himself look pretty?

Blah, blah-- blah!

Blah, blah--blah!

Well, your parents don't expect you home for a few hours.

What do you want to do now?

Ahh! It's like they're scrubbing all my troubles away.

I've never met a boy sensitive enough

To walk in here by himself.

I totally want you to date my daughter.

No, he should date mine!

I'm so proud of timmy. Yeah!

He finally figured out

That women love sensitivity.

Aw!

And if you can fake that, you're in! Ohh!

Man on tv: I've got bad news.

Roderick asked for a raise, and he's off the show--

I mean, fell down an elevator shaft!

Women: roderick, no!

Hey, who wants to watch wrestling?

Women: we do!

Announcer: and roderick has his evil twin roderick

In a toe hold!

All: roderick, no!