03x05 - Cosmo Con/Wanda's Day Off!

[bunniefuu]

♪ Timmy is an average kid

♪ That no one understands

♪ Mom and dad and vicky

♪ Always giving him commands

Bed, twerp!

♪ The doom and gloom up in his room ♪

♪ Is broken instantly

♪ By his magic little fish

♪ Who grant his every wish

♪ 'Cause in reality

♪ They are his oddparents

♪ Fairly oddparents

Wands and wings.

Floaty, crowny things.

♪ Oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪

♪ Really mod, pea pod

♪ Buff bod, hot rod

Obtuse, rubber goose!

Green moose, guava juice!

Giant snake, birthday cake!

Large fries, chocolate shake!

♪ Oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪

♪ It flips your lid when you are the kid ♪

♪ With fairly oddparents

Yeah, right.

It is now time to find out

Which lucky fairy

Will pick the location of our next

Secret fairy convention

And punish the puny fairy

Who made last year's secret fairy convention

The worst secret fairy convention ever!

I'm sorry! I'm sorry!

I thought the black plague was a band!

I didn't know it would wipe out half of europe!

Tough toenails, binky.

It is now time to play...

Wheel of t*rture!

[Cheering and applause]

Ooh! Ooh! Me! Me!

I hope it's me.

I wouldn't get your hopes up, sweetie.

Every fairy in the universe

Has their name on that wheel.

Ai ai ai ai!

Wow! Look at binky go...

And go and go.

You are right.

My mighty muscles have spun the wheel too hard.

I will summon you all when it stops.

Until then, have a nice millennium!

Mm-wah!

Ai ai ai ai!

[School bell rings]

Easy on the erasing, sport.

Your chaffing my butt.

Sorry, wanda. I'm nervous.

Crocker's handing our tests back,

And I know I didn't do well.

It is time!

What? What's going on?

[Ding]

Good news, children. The "f"s are in!

Oh, smell those hot, fresh "f"s.

Mmm. Hey, this one smells like an "a+"...

And it's for... Timmy turner?

Oh, my gosh. Timmy got an "a+"?

It's a sign of the apocalypse!

Everybody, to the bunker!

Aaah!

[Screaming]

Actually, I just doodled.

Thank you, short attention span!

There's only one way turner could get an "a+".

Fairy godparents!

And I can use this "a+"

As an excuse to invite myself over to his house

And finally search his premises

For proof of the existence of...

Fairy godparents!

Um, hello? I'm right here.

I can hear every word you're saying.

Then I don't have to repeat myself.

I'll be over at : .

Fairies!

Crocker's gonna be here any minute,

And I can't find cosmo and wanda!

Where are they?!

Timmy, stop yelling

At your empty fishbowl and wash up.

I want everything perfect to impress the teacher

Who made our little boy an "a+" student.

Good thing I'm not the jealous type,

Or I'd take this fancy meal and alluring apron

As a sign she digs your teacher.

And let's use the good toilet seats

So the meal is special from when it starts

To where it ends.

The good toilet seats?!

[Gasps]

She totally digs your teacher!

[Ding ding]

[Tires screech]

He's here!

Quick, timmy, swap out the seats.

Ok. Stay calm.

At least cosmo and wanda are gone.

Ai ai ai ai!

The wheel is finally slowing down.

Who will be the lucky fairy

To choose the next convention location?

Cosmo?

Yay!

And I know exactly where to put it!

[Big band music playing]

Yah! What's going on in here?!

Mr. Crocker. Welcome.

Ah, hello.

You must be mr. And mrs. Turner.

I'm here to look for fairies...

I mean, congratulate you

On your son's hot, fresh "a+".

Those eyes, that hair, that figure.

Oh, my gosh. It's worse than I thought.

He's gorgeous!

Are those dead, beeping flowers?

Actually, it's my fairy detector...

I mean, yes!

Dead, beeping flowers that are...dead.

How thoughtful!

Deadandbeeping.

My diabolical scheme has worked. I'm in!

Now, if only I can get one of these idiots

To give me a tour of the house,

I can sweep the place

With this dead, beeping fairy detector.

Uh, hello?

I'm right here.

And we would love to be the idiots

To give you a tour of the house.

Excellent!

Let the tour begin.

Where the heck are cosmo and wanda?

[Beeping]

And this is the den.

Which is mine!

And upstairs, we have the bedroom.

Also mine!

Welcome to cosmo con. Name?

Twinkle flitter-glitter.

Enjoy the convention!

Name, please?

Timmy turner!

And what the heck is going on in here?

Cosmo con? Fairy convention?

I got to pick the location

Of this year's secret fairy convention!

So you put it in my bathroom?

Are you nuts? Crocker's in the house!

And you have every fairy in the universe

In my bathroom!

If crocker catches even the tiniest whiff of fairies,

He'll barge right in!

[Beeping]

Fairies!

No, the bathroom.

Which is mine!

Whoa, you can't just barge in there.

It's a bathroom! You have to knock first.

Oh, no! It's got to be crocker!

It's ok, sport. Watch.

Human!

Ha ha! Huh?

[Sniffs]

I swear I whiffed a fairy.

So that's why you put it in the bathroom,

Because people always knock before they enter.

Sure... Let's go with that.

So, can it stay? Please, timmy? Please?

Besides, the only remaining event

Is the closing entertainment.

Fairy conventions are notoriously short.

Well...ok.

As long as cosmo didn't do anything stupid,

Like book a human entertainer

Who will see this, blow the secret,

And make you guys have to go away forever.

[Nervously] ha ha...well...

Actually, there's a funny story about that.

[Doorbell ringing]oops.

Hi. I'm pop diva britney britney.

These are the britney britney dancers.

And we're here for the fair--

--Ly nice dinner

That my mom made for mr. Crocker.

And not me!

Won't you join us?

This must be the work of fairy godparents!

There's no other explanation for the appearance

Of this overly-hyped, shabbily-clad

Pop diva superstar.

Hello? I'm right here.

Great, and if you like,

You can freshen up in timmy's bathroom,

But knock first.

So, what do you think?

This one that makes me look like a pooh-bah

Or this one?

[Knock on door]

Human!

Aah! I got soap in my eye.

Stupid, mean soap.

You'll never work in this town again!

Hmm. What's this?

Only the most adorable little button ever,

And I found it on the bathroom floor.

Which is mine!

Oh, no!

"Cosmo con.

"Secret fairy convention,

Conveniently located in scenic timmy's bathroom."

Fairies!

I knew I whiffed them!

Mr. Crocker, come back!

Great. Now I've lost my son to him, too?

It's too much!

Ugh, I'm never gonna get to sing.

[Chattering]

Britney! Britney! Britney!

Uh, britney britney can't be here tonight,

Because she...uh...

Got eaten by a wildebeest!

So, singing a medley of her greatest hits is me!

[Playing accordion and drums]

This is not working out the way I'd hoped.

Fairies! Fairies!

Fairies! Ah, I can't see!

Aah!

Ice cream.

[Crying] [crying]

Aah! Aah! Aah!

Don't let it touch you!

[Trumpeting]

Ah! Ah! Ah!

Aah!

Hey, he's not scary. He's funny.

Aah! Can't see,

But there are fairies! I know it!

I'm whiffing them!

Aah! Ooh! Ooh!

Ugh! Ugh! Eeh!

Ugh! Ugh! Ugh! Ugh! Ooh!

Ugh! Ugh!

[Horn honking]

[Crash]

Huh? Was that great?

Can cosmo book convention entertainment or what?

Let him hear it!

[Cheering]

Awesome. That was the greatest fake, puny human

Almost discovering fairies comedy act ever!

My muscles are still laughing.

Ha! Ha ha! Ha!

I declare this notoriously short convention

Officially closed!

I heard them!

Fairies... In the bathroom...laughing!

You again? I'm watching you.

Aah!

Aah!

Can't a woman clip coupons

In the comfort of her own bathroom?

I suppose I should have knocked first. Heh heh!

[Cracking knuckles]

Also mine!

Dad: and stay out!

This is so much better than sharing our dinner

With that creepy teacher.

I'm sorry I was so jealous.

Oh, that's ok, dear.

You just need to be more secure

In your masculinity-- like me.

Hit it, britney!

You got it!

Hey, wait a minute.

Dad never asks me to hit it.

Mom: and stay out!

Ugh, that's it!

No more private gigs.

Well, crocker's gone, my secret's safe,

I doodled my way to an "a+", and I don't have to worry

About any more conventions in my bathroom, right, guys?

Guys? Oh, no!

[Horn honking]

Welcome to the secret fairy rv and boat show.

Look at me! I'm seaworthy!

Look at the size of my poop deck!

[Honking]

Dad: jeez, son, if you're gonna do that,

Shut the door.

Not mine!

[Honking]

It's really nice of you guys

To want to give me a day off.

You deserve it, wanda.

You're always taking care of me and cosmo.

You deserve a little time for yourself.

Are you sure you don't need me?

Hey, we're just working on my biology report.

And I can totally handle it.

Me and timmy are gonna go find out

What animals think about.

Ok, but if you boys need me,

Just give me a holler.

Oh, would you quit worrying?

Have a nice day off, wanda!

Now, this is more like it.

Aah!

I can handle it.

[Moaning]

Squids...way too inky. Want to try reptiles?

No problem.

Problem!

I can handle it!

I...uh...

[Playing lively music]

Ok. "Squids: dangerous. Snakes: very dangerous."

How about we go to the birds?

You got it, timmy.

Aah! Aah!

[Chirping]

Oh, for the love of pete!

Who's pete? Someone I should know about?

Yaah! Yaah!

This isn't exactly

How I wanted to spend my day off.

Maybe you should get away to someplace special.

Well, it's never even crossed my mind to do that,

But if I were to take a day off...

I'd go to the fairyworld magic springs spa.

Ha ha! But that's only for the beautiful fairies...

And you need a reservation.

Or I could wish you there

And then they have to let you stay.

You're right.

And cosmo and I promise

We'll keep the magic to a minimum

So you can have maximum relaxation!

Yeah, what he said.

I wish you were at the fairyworld

Magic springs spa!

Hi. I'm wanda...

And I'm here for my all-expenses-free,

Totally-wished-for day of relaxation.

Huh. Huh.

Oh, pooh, don't listen to them.

Let me show you around.

We have hot tubs, mud baths,

That silly cucumber on the eyes treatment,

And this...

This is wherehe massages the fairies.

Ooh! That looks wonderful!

Where do I wait?

You? You wait here...

With the rest of the fairies who got wished here

Without a reservation!

[All cackling]

Timmy: ok, the report's due tomorrow.

I need to pick an animal

That won't strangle, bite, or eat me,

Or any combination of the .

Uh, how about that cockroach?

Yeah. Let's stare at him

Until we learn what he's thinking about.

Are we done yet?

I got nothing, and this is boring.

We haven't learned anything.

Make a wish! Make a wish!

I don't know, cosmo, with wanda not here

And you being here... And being you...

Oh, come on, cosmo. Don't take it that way.

It's not that I don't trust you, it's just--

No, wait, it's pretty much that.

[Sobbing loudly]

You don't trust me!

Ok, ok. One teeny wish, and that's it.

I wish that cockroach was smart enough

To tell us what he was thinking.

Yay! You can totally trust me!

World domination!

That can't be good.

See? I told you I could handle things.

Oh, I hope he chooses me. Please!

Hello, beautiful ladies.

Por favor,allow me to introduce...

My magic fingers.

Ohh! Ohh! Ohh!

Now, which one of you mundane nobodies

Considers yourself deserving

Of the touch of juandicimo magnifico?

Ohh! Ohh! Ohh!

Hah! You!

Me?

Her? Her? Her?

Wanda! Is itpossible?

The love of my life,

Who I lost to cosmo, who married you,

When I lost you so you stay lost to me?

You know him?you know her?

Know him? I dated him,

And I don't think cosmo would like it

If I stayed here...

For more than a few hours.

Begone!

My little friends and I have work to do.

[Sirens blaring, car horns honking]

Gifted with intelligence,

Roaches built futuristic society in... Hours.

Ah, I guess I made the roach leader too smart.

Should we be worried?

Not unless they figure out

That they're the only living creatures in the world

That would survive a nuclear w*r.

[Cheering]

Maybe it's just a coincidence.

And maybe we should call wanda?

No! I can handle this.

All we have to do is introduce

The cockroach's natural predator, the african bog frog.

That seems logical.

Ok. Let there be frogs!

[Cheering]

Roaches continue to show single-mindedness.

Cosmo continues to show empty-mindedness.

Faster world domination!

Know what? Let's not take any chances.

I wish the roaches were dead!

Ok.

Oh, oh, no.

Not only can you not k*ll them with a nuclear w*apon,

You can't k*ll them with magic, either.

We're dead.

[Ring]

Uh-oh. My "cosmo is going to make timmy dead" sense is tingling.

Relax, my ex, for who I do not pine for

In any manner whatsoever.

I and my fingers have yet

To have begun to pamper you.

Well, maybe I should call cosmo

Just to make sure everything is ok.

[Phone ringing]

Aah!

[Ringing]

No. Uh, nothing's wrong.

I'm just totally bored to death

With my big day off of no wishing.

Are you sure?

Because I could poof back there in a minute.

Aah!

Wanda!

Wanda!

Is that timmy crying, "wanda"?

Ah, no. That's timmy crying,

"I'm on the phone."

[Making static noise]

And [crackling] get my [crackling]

Uh, you're breaking up.

I'm going through a tunnel.

Ah! This tunnel's itchy.

Cosmo? Hello?

See? You worry too much.

All is well, which means it is now time

For my swirly pink hair dance.

Martians are invading!

We need reinforcements!

Martians? You brought martians in to fight the roaches?

You said nothing on earth could destroy them,

So I picked something not from earth.

[Shouting]

Martians destroy everything

Except roaches!

Don't you watch the movies?!

Oh, timmy, please,

Wanda's gonna be home any minute.

If she sees this, she's gonna think I'm an idiot.

And this would be news to her how?

Oh, great, the lower lip thing.

Ok, I'm sure we'll think of something.

Yay! Plan "b"!

Wanda: ahh, who else got the swirly pink hair dance?

Anybody? No? Just me?

This has been the most relaxing day ever.

Then do not depart.

Stay here...with me.

What are you, nuts?

This was nice, but I feel refreshed

And raring to get back to where I'm needed.

And that's with cosmo and timmy.

Noooo!

Aha.

Noooo!

Timmy? Cosmo? I'm back! I'm...

Got any " "s?

What's a " "?

Uh, is everything ok?

Oh, yeah. We're cool.

Yeah. What did you expect?

Pandemonium. Disaster.

I told you I could handle it.

Well, that's great, sweetie,

But to tell the truth,

I don't think I'll be taking

Another day off for a while.

Time off is fun,

But cleaning up after your messes

Is what I live for.

So, you're saying you'd rather fix our mistakes

Than relax at a spa?

Every time.

Yay! Then do I have good news for you!

[Sirens blaring]

Wahoo! Total world domination!

Computer voice: ... ... ...

... ...

... ...

Oh, you would've let the world blow up

Just to give me a day off?

Yeah, you got it!yeah, sure, whatever!

I love you guys...

But you're idiots!

Timmy and cosmo: but we'reyouridiots!

Computer voice: ... ... ...

[Beep]

Aah! Aah!

Music to my ears.

Thanks for saving us again, wanda.

And look at this awesome cover I made

For my biology report.

Yeah, maybe I can't handle things on my own,

But who cares? As long as it keeps you around, baby.

But I thought you couldn't k*ll roaches with magic.

Well, duh, everybody knows that.

Not me!

You have to poof them somewhere else.

Where'd you send them?

[All shouting]

World domination!

[Screaming]

Icky! Icky! Icky! Icky! Ew! Ew!

Ladies, come back!

Underneath my crunchy roach exterior

Beats the heart of a lover.

Cockroach: yee-haw!