03x06 - Odd Jobs/Movie Magic

[bunniefuu]

♪♪ Timmy is an average kid ♪

♪♪ That no one understands ♪

♪♪ Mom and dad and vicky ♪

♪♪ Always giving him commands ♪

Bad twerp!

♪♪ Doom and gloom up in his room ♪♪

♪♪ Is broken instantly ♪

♪♪ By his magic little fish who'll grant his every wish ♪♪

♪♪ 'Cause in reality ♪

♪♪ They are his oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪♪

Wands and wings.floaty, crowny things.

♪♪ Oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪♪

♪♪ Really mod, peapod, buff bod, hot rod ♪♪

Obtuse, rubber goose,

Green moose, guava juice.

Giant snake, birthday cake,

Large fries, chocolate shake!

♪♪ Oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪♪

♪♪ It flips your lid when you are a kid ♪♪

♪♪ With fairly oddparents ♪

Yeah, right.

[Bell rings]

Ms. Waxelplax: I wish to thank all the parents

Who donated their time in making this

The most amazing career day ever!

Whoo! [Applause]

Who'd have thought we'd actually have

Parents who are wrestling stars,

Race-car champions...

And astronauts!

Free moon rocks for everyone!

Audience: yay!

Ha! That's nothing.

Wait till they hear whatmydad does!

Next up, to tell us about his amazing career--

Mr. Turner!

Whoo!

Hey, kids. My name is timmy's dad!

I'm what you might call a pencil pusher,

And I brought free really pointy pencils

For everybody!

Catch![Audience screaming]

Man: my eye!

[Audience groans]

Hey, if you don't like the pencils, I'll take them back.

I work with pencils all day,

And they've never hurt me.

Gahh!

Till today!

Pencils, why have you betrayed me?

[Laughing]

You know, timmy, I might not have

A cool job like the other parents,

But at least I'm always here to say good night.

Besides, it's not like those kids

Were laughing at me, right?

Uh...

[Laughing]

Oh, my gosh!

They were!

[High-pitched screaming]

Oh, no!

Those kids made your dad cry!

Yeah. Usually it takes a monkey

Or a bowl of pudding to do that.

Oh, man!

Bean counter...

[Reading positions]

Ooh, at this rate, I'll never find a job

That'll get those kids to stop laughing at me.

Did you hear that, guys?

He's looking for a cooler job.

Timmy, adult humans

Can't just point and click their way

To any job they want.

It doesn't work like that.

And we know that college doesn't help.

What if I wished for him to find a cooler job?

Could I help my dad then?

It can totally work like that.

Ok, cosmo,

Then I wish my dad was on a magical web site

That could give him any cool job he wanted.

Hi! Welcome to...

Neat!

Tired of your son's friends

Thinking you've got a lame job?

Yes, yes, yes!

Click on me to be instantly placed

In a totally cool job that kids won't laugh at!

Yow!

You've chosen...

[Male voice] race-car driver

As your really cool job!

Neat! I've got a really cool new job!

And now I've got to get a really cool new eye patch.

Yeah!

This is a totally cool job!

Wow, look at your dad go!

Yeah. He's gonna win.

How do you like dad's cool new job, mom?

Well, he might be risking his neck

And totally uprooting our lives so we can travel with him,

But he sure seems happier.

And faster.

Go, dad!

Hey, timmy's cheering...

For me!

Hi, timmy!

Look at my cool new--ehh!

Aaah!

[Groaning and grunting]

[High-pitched screaming]

[Laughing]

Ooh! Need to find a better job.

Welcome back to...

Ah, ha! My arm!

Uh, uh, arm hand must get.

You've chosen...

[Male voice] professional wrestler

As your next cool job.

Neat!

Announcer: ladies and gentlemen!

Welcome to the dimmsdale dimmadome!

I'm doug dimmadome!

All: doug dimmadome?

That's right. Doug dimmadome.

[Cheering, applause]

And in this corner,

Weighing in at pounds,

Every person he's wrestled is breathing through a tube,

And he hates parents and pencils,

Crusher mcpersoncrusher!

[Roars]

Yay, mcpersoncrusher!

Boo!

Boo--[grunts]

And in this other corner,

Pounds of pure, unadulterated adult--

The pencil pusher!

I'll erase you...

From existence!

Yes, I'd like to increase

My husband's life insurance, please.

I--i mean, uh,

I hope your dad is ok.

Come on, mom. He's gonna be great.

He's a professional wrestler now.

Go, dad!

I mean, bring the pain, pencil pusher!

Timmy!

Look at how cool my new job is.

And check out the pain I'm bringing.

Gaaah!

Pencil!

Because of you, crusher failed elementary school.

Teacher: ok, class.

Pick up your pencils and begin your test.

Yaah! Aaah!

Yaah!

[Munching]

Aah!

I'm too young to be a rich widow!

Wait...i'm rich.

[Crunch]

[High-pitched screaming]

[Cheering] [gulp]

[High-pitched scream]

[High-pitched screaming]

Gee, thanks. I--

[High-pitched screaming]

... ... ! You're out!

[Laughing]

Is my new job cool yet?

Really, honey,

Maybe you should just return to your old job.

No! Must find job

That makes son proud

And stops kids from laughing.

[Laughing]

No, no, stay away from me.

Stay away! Ah, ha!

My spleen!

You've picked...

[Male voice] astronaut

As your next cool job.

Hi, honey. Hi, timmy!

Hey, dad.

Whoo! Cool new threads

For your cool new job.

Yeah, you like it?

This high-tech spacesuit

Even has a built-in toilet

That beeps when I use it.

Really?

[Beeping]

Roger that!

[Horn honks]

And there's my ride.

Well, I'm off to explore

The final frontier.

Dad, wait!

Dad! Ohh!

He--he didn't even say good-bye.

Oh, don't worry, sport.

Yeah, I'm sure he'll tell you all about it

When he gets back from his first big day

As an astronaut.

What do you mean dad's not here?

Isn't he gonna say good night to me?

He just got assigned

To an important new space program,

And he sent us this video e-mail.

Dear family.

Hope timmy is proud of me and my cool new job.

I'm being sent on a -year trip to uranus--

Which turns out to be a planet--

To begin immediately.

See you when I'm .

End transmission.

It's a planet. Who knew?

I'm too young and rich

To be married to someone who's !

[Sobbing]

Years?

I didn't want him out of my life

Until those awkward teen years.

Well, maybe you should tell him that.

Before he goes to uranus.

I wish we were at the launch.

I'm chet ubetcha at the launch site

Where national hero timmy's dad,

Suit full,

Is about to be launched to uranus.

Just a moment.

I'm receiving confirmation that uranus, is, in fact,

A planet!

This is chet ubetcha saying

I sure wish my dad had a job that cool.

[Overlapping cheering, talking]

Wow!

Everybody sure thinks your dad's job is cool.

Yeah, but I never see him anymore.

I don't see anything anymore.

I liked it better when he was around to be laughed at.

I've gotta stop him!

Fuel...check.

Batteries...check.

Spacesuit...

[Beeping]

Check.

Launch commencing in ... ...

Everything a-ok, captain turner. Over.

[Sadly] yes.

Let's boldly go--

Timmy: dad, no!

Don't do it!

Don't boldly go!

But your friends aren't laughing at me anymore

Because of my cool new job.

Don't you want a dad with a cool new job?

I don't care, and you shouldn't, either.

It doesn't matter what you do for a living.

Coolest job you have is being my dad.

[Beeping] really?

Well,

Then the heck with this!

Come on, let's get out of here.

We lose more cool dads that way.

Bongo?

You're going to uranus.

[Beeping]

[Kids chattering]

Bye, dad! Thanks for the lift.

Any time, son.

I gotta get to work.

Those pencils

Don't push themselves, you know.

Wow, timmy!

You have a pretty cool dad.

Yes, I do. And best of all,

He's back to doing what he does best--

Being my dad.

Ooh, timmy!

I almost forgot,

Don't forget your pencils.

Catch!

Aaahhh!

Hurting me... With pointy things.

And that. He's really good at that.

It's a planet?

Announcing the arrival of trixie tang.

Passengers prepare for submission.

All: we're not worthy!

We're not worthy!

Hi, trixie. I--

Not worthy.

Hi, trixie. Want to talk...

To me?

Still not worthy.

Hi, trixie. Great day to be at the park, huh?

Darn it.

There's gotta be a way to get trixie to notice me.

Other than humiliating myself.

[Applause]hello, dimmsdale.

I'm here with award-winning actor

And filmmaker

Sylvester calzone,

Here for the annual

Dimmadance film festival.

Uh, thanks, chet.

As you may or may not be aware,

Dimmadance is where I punched out my first film critic

And got my big break by winning this--

The much sought-after dimmy award.

Together: ooh!

It's what legitimized me as a filmmaker

And a critic-puncher.

Oh, my gosh!

I totally love award-winning filmmakers

And critic-punchers.

So, trixie likes critic-punching filmmakers, eh?

Guys, we're gonna make a movie.

Mom, dad, can I borrow the video camera?

No way, son.

We're making a documentary called

Stupid questions our son asks us.

Why would you want to make a movie like that?

Mom: oh, that's a great stupid question!

Yes! Ask some more.

We're getting dimmy award-winning gold here!

And trixie will totally talk to us!

Why don't you let us help you make a movie, timmy?

It's a film competition.

Da rules say you can't help me win a competition.

Nothing says we can't be your film equipment.

And then you could make your own cruddy film.

Timmy: awesome!

And together we'll make

An awesome dimmy-winning movie

That trixie'll totally go nuts over.

Both: and...

Action!

"Timmy turner presents

A sneak preview of the greatest movie ever."

Wow.

Just the fact that he might win a dimmy

Makes me totally consider noticing him.

Trixie tang...

And other kids I'm not trying to impress,

I'm filmmaker timmy turner,

And I present to you

The greatest movie ever made!

[Crickets chirping]

[Beeping]

[Fanfare]

[Both roaring, snarling]

Aah! Raah!

Aaah!

Ooh! I am good.

We who are about to die salute you.

Ow! My chest.

Don't be such a baby.

Ow,mychest!

Release the vicious man-eating lion!

Roar!

Aah! Aah!

Boy: you've turned off your targeting computer.

Something wrong?

Yeah, my dad's not happy

About my friends jumping on the car.

More gold!

It was a masterpiece.

Yeah, and we did it all ourselves.

I didn't even use a stunt boil.

It was most awesome!

[Lonely wolf howl]

Your friends really seemed to like it.

Well, duh. They were in it.

But what did trixie think?

"You stink."

"Please talk to it."

I'm gonna say that's a thumbs-down.

Oh, timmy, cheer up.

You've still got a chance.

Wow, she's a tough critic.

Are you gonna punch her?

[Clang] uhh!

[Reading marquee]

Trixie might have hated my film,

But if tad and chad's film stinks more than mine,

I'll still have a chance to win a dimmy.

To be or not to be.

Annihilate them!

[Gasping]

[Saw buzzing]

All: aah!

[Crying]

Yorick,

I'll be back.

With weapons.

Wow. They must have hated it.

[Cheering]

They can't possibly cheer forever.

[Audience cheering]

Well, I still have a chance to b*at them

In the competition, right?

Dad: ooh, sweet! Did you get that?

Tell me you got that!

Aah!

Tad and chad's film kicks my film's butt.

Gotta make a better film.

What part of magic, fairy, and godparents

Are you not getting here?

But it's a competition.

True, but if you just happened to go

Where cool action stuff was happening...

And I brought my film equipment with me

And just happened to catch something on film...

And if I just happened to tear this page

Out of the rule book that says we can't help you...

Then I would have sh*t a dimmy-winning film!

Come on, let's make the greatest movie ever

For real!

[Screeches]

Timmy: whoa!

Actual dinosaurs actually fighting!

This is way cool.

And there's the comet that wiped them all out.

[Roaring]

Uh, if the comet didn't k*ll the dinosaurs,

What did?

How about... Sylvester calzone?

You're the species.

I'm the extinction.

Aaah!

[Punching]

[Cheering]

[Australian accent] we who are about to die salute you!

Wait. We're about to die?

Wait! Stop, stop!

Hey, pretty exciting filmmaking, huh, timmy?

Yeah, but it'd be even more exciting

If it had a dimmy-winning celebrity like...

Sylvester calzone!

Hey, this isn't one of my palatial estates

That only a dimmy-winning filmmaker could afford.

And these aren't my pajamas.

They still have sleeves.

That's more like it.

Release the vicious man-eating lion.

[Roars]

Uh, that I can punch!

[Punching, grunting]

Red leader. Red leader!

I'm starting my att*ck run on the death ball.

Man: you've turned off your targeting computer.

Is something wrong?

Yeah. There's a kid in here!

Don't look at the camera.

Uh. Can I get a professional in here?

Hey, this isn't my incredibly sleek and stylish

Italian sports car.

It's much roomier.

Well, guys,

Is that gonna kick tad and chad's movie, or what?

Uhh. But you replaced me

With an actor with better teeth.

And more hair.

And a well-oiled chest.

What? Am I the only one who noticed?

This is an outrage!

Yeah, but it's better,

Right?

[Muttering agreements]

I mean, come on, guys.

The first version stunk.

Besides, we can be trixie-impressing,

Award-winning, critic-punching winners

With this.

Don't you mean youcan?

Um, duh.

Wow, they really seemed upset.

Well, timmy, they were proud of it,

And you cut them out of the film.

Just like a sleazy hollywood dirtball.

Congratulations, timmy!

You're finally a filmmaker.

Good evening, dimmsdale. I'm chet ubetcha

Here at the dimmadance film festival.

And with only one award left,

Let's take a look at the last contestant.

[Beeping]

[Gasping]

Great scott! That's us.

You used the cruddy version we did.

Well, I figured I could show a star-studded movie

With amazing sound, color, and music,

But I'd rather show a cruddy homemade movie

With my pals.

[Laughing]

They're laughing.

They're not supposed to be laughing.

[Sighs] well, this'll stop soon enough.

[Laughing]

Why don't they stop laughing?!

Not to be a critic,

But your film stunk!

What are you, some kind of critic?

Kid's got a point.

Oh, man. There goes the dimmy.

And the dimmy goes to...

Timmy turner

For best comedy!

You won! Which is weird,

Because you weren't even entered in that category.

You were so bad, you were good.

[Grunting] come on. Is that the best I got?

You call that a punch?

Timmy, you did it.

You're an award-winning filmmaker.

Yeah, but I couldn't have done it without you guys,

And I'll never desert my friends again.

Now, excuse me while I desert you to talk to trixie.

Hiya, trixie.

I'm a filmmaker.

An award-winning filmmaker.

Want to see my award...

That I got for my film...

That won here?

I don't understand!

Why isn't she talking to me?

Because, anonymous voice from nobody,

You won for comedy,

And everybody knows that comedy

Is the lowest form of entertainment,

Next to animation.

Besides, we're still rich.

We only did this 'cause we were bored.

Yeah, come on.

Let's go be rock stars now.

Oh, my gosh! I just realized

I'm totally in love with rock stars!

[Sighs] you think

I'd have a sh*t if I was a rock star?

Dad: gold!

We're already filming our sequel--

Stupid questions our son asks other people.

[Grunting] come on. Is that the best I got?

What are you, a pansy?