03x14 - The Secret Origin of Denzel Crocker!

[bunniefuu]

♪ Timmy is an average kid

♪ That no one understands

♪ Mom and dad and vicky always giving him commands ♪

Bed, twerp!

♪ The doom and gloom up in his room ♪

♪ Is broken instantly

♪ By his magic little fish who grant his every wish ♪

♪ Because in reality

♪ They are his oddparents

♪ Fairly oddparents

Wands and wings!

Floaty, crowny things!

♪ Oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪

♪ Really mod, pea pod, buff bod, hot rod ♪

♪ Obtuse rubber goose ♪

♪ Green moose, guava juice ♪

♪ Giant snake, birthday cake ♪

♪ Large fries, chocolate shake! ♪

♪ Oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪

♪ It flips your lid when you are the kid ♪

♪ With fairly oddparents!

Vicky: yeah, right.

[Kids talking]

What are you guys doing?

I'm teetering.

And I'm tottering.

You should be hiding!

It's march !

It's march .

This is not a drill.

[Alarm sounds]

All: aah! March !

Duck and cover!

March !

Aah!

Boy: march !

What's up with march ?

Is it "be kind to squirrels day"?

No!

Every kid knows that march is the day

That mr. Crocker is at his meanest.

[Beeping]

And according to my genetic tracking device,

He's getting closer.

[Ssssssss]

Uh! Everyone, run to the safe bosom

Of the united states educational system!

[Screaming]

I'm not moving until I get my nuts.

Ah! Or until I can feel my legs.

[Ring]

[Crying]

I hate march .

There's no telling what crocker will do.

Heads down!

And you, mr. I-know-everything,

If a tree falls in the forest

And no one is around to hear it,

Does it make a sound?

Does it?

Yes. I mean, no.

I mean... I don't know!

Aah!

Hello, turner.

Mr. Crocker! What--what--

What are you going to do to me?

I don't know, turner.

You're not smart enough to baffle with a rhetorical question,

And your teeth are not bad enough for a magnet.

Hmm.

Ha! I've got it!

[Growling]

Yah!

Aah!

Aah! Yah!

I've never seen crocker userabiddogs before.

[Mumbles]

He's really thinking out of the box this time.

Why are you punishing us like this?

Why?

Let me answer your question with a few of my own.

Why am I still a miserable schoolteacher?

Or, why doesn't my tracking device ever find me

A fairy godparent?

Well, you use an eggbeater

Instead of a dna sampler, and--

Silence!

What is the sound of one hand clapping?

I can't answer that, either.

Why don't any of the things I wish for

Ever become reality?

Timmy: this is ridiculous.

It happens every year.

I'm sick of crocker making us all miserable.

I wonder what happened to him that made him this way.

I don't know, but I'm going to find out--

But I've got to get away from these dogs.

Look, you guys, squirrels.

Aah!

This is the worst "be kind to squirrels day" ever.

Aah! Nice doggy!

Off to crocker's house.

Cosmo: eee! I've only got one of those, you know.

Aah!

[Beeping]

Timmy: according to a.j.'S crocker tracker,

This is crocker's house.

[Car horn]crocker: out of my way!

And here he comes.

Gaaa!

Come on, let's get a better look.

Stupid, two-bit room. Stupid, two-bit van.

Stupid, two-bit life.

Woman: denzel, would you like

Some stupid, two-bit dessert?

I made your stupid, two-bit favorite.

Crocker: happy march .

Mother, what's the matter with you?

I was only trying to cheer you up.

What happened to the perky little ball of sunshine

That used to be my son?

That child doesn't exist.

I can't even remember a time when I was happy.

Gaaa!

You know what's weird?

I'm a hummingbird, but I'm doing much more sucking than humming.

Timmy? What's the matter?

Crocker's so angry and unhappy,

And his mom said he wasn't always like this.

Aah! Uh!

And if we went back in time

To find out what made crocker miserable,

We could change it so it never happened.

But you'd be helping your worst enemy.

Yeah, but if I change things for the better,

He won't be my worst enemy anymore,

And he'll stop torturing all the kids.

I wish I had my magical time scooter!

And with the crocker tracker,

We'll be able to track crocker down

No matter what time period we're in.

Wow! My house, years ago.

Wanda: and look, it's your parents,

And you're still in your mommy's tummy.

I thought she loved timmy.

Why did she eat him?

Dad: honey, this house is finally ours.

It's the perfect home for a young couple

Who can't wait for the birth of their new daughter.

Yeah-h-h.

And look at all this cool daughter stuff I bought.

I'd be crushed if we had a son.

Well, that explains the pink hat.

And all these baby pictures of you in dresses.

Well, we won't be needing this anymore.

Honey!

This looks like a swell house.

It's bigger and nicer than the one next door,

And I'll bet it costs less.

Hi, neighbor!

I hope they don't have a boy.

Dinkleberg.

Ok, now all we've got to do is find crocker.

[Car horn honks]

Crocker: out of my way!

That was easy.

Quick, switch to super-secret spy helmet.

Crocker: mustn't be late for my first day at my new teaching job,

Because where there's a school, there are kids,

And where there are kids there are bound to be...

Fairy godparents!

Mr. Crocker, what have you done?

Approximately $ , worth of damage,

But fear not, geraldine. I can fix it.

I'm your boss now. Call me miss waxelplax.

And how do you propose to fix my car?

Once I capture a fairy godparent,

I'll wish your car back to normal.

Fairies!

Timmy: wow.

Even years ago,

Crocker's still miserable and fairy-obsessed.

We have to go back in time further.

To the eighties!

[Devo'swhip itplaying]

Wow. We're at dimmsdale university in the eighties.

This must be where crocker went to college.

Timmy: this whole decade is a fashion disaster.

I'm gonna stick out like a sore thumb.

Wanda: there you go.

Now you're practically invisible.

And funky fresh!

Come on, kiddie, let's break dance.

[Dance music playing]

Gnarly!

Geraldine: denzel,

The whole university is abuzz with big news.

Ah, geraldine.

I'm glad you're here to see this.

After spending years in college on my research,

I'm finally ready to share my discovery with the world.

Big news today?

Big news means big messes.

[Dancemusic playing]

Dad: wow. She's a maniac, that's for sure.

Oh, let's sit here, sheldon.

I can't wait to hear the big news.

Grrr, dinkleberg.

[Foreign accent] this crocker kid says his discovery

Is going to change the world.

I can't wait to give him funding

For his research.

Whatever you're paying,

The government will double it.

What a scoop.

I'm phoning this in on my brand-spanking-new s cellular phone.

Cell phone radiation so not a threat to my health.

[Trumpet fanfare]

[Applause]

Students, faculty,

Esteemed guests with big, fat government checks,

How would you like it if every time you wanted something,

It magically appeared?

Both: yes, yes, yes!

"How is this possible?" You might ask.

Why, with the help of fairy godparents.

Yes, through many years of research,

I have very nearly discovered actual proof

That fairy godparents float among us!

These fairies are assigned to a child

And grant their every wish.

I say we place painful monitor collars on every child in america

So we can capture their fairies

So that we control the magic.

Ha ha ha!

Well, what are you waiting for?

I'll take my money, accolades, fame, and great life now.

[Laughter]

Oh, denzel, no.

I'm in love with a psychotic moron!

[Laughter]

Why are you laughing? Stop laughing!

I'm not giving the money to him.

He promised to blind us with science.

I know, I'm going to invest it

In something timeless and worthwhile,

Like his parachute pants.

Look at those pockets.

Who knows what could be in them?

I'm in.

And I'm rich.

And we're through.

Not to take advantage of you on the rebound,

But may I mop up your tears?

Bleh!

Ha ha ha!

Stop it! Stop laughing at me!

Oh, this is the second-worst day of my life.

Second-worst?

Then his worst day has already happened.

Guys, we've got to go back...

To crocker's childhood.

Here you are, sport.

Dimmsdale, march , :

Crocker's childhood.

But I'm gonna need seventies clothes if I'm gonna blend in.

Now all we've got to do is find the miserable little kid

That will grow up to be the miserable denzel crocker.

Ooh, ooh, I know where he is.

Timmy: hey, it's my school in the seventies.

[Dna tracker beeps]

Timmy: and there's crocker.

You were right, cosmo.

You were right?

Wow, one in a row. It's a new record.

Hmm.

Wanda: there is something familiar about him.

I just can't put my wand on it.

Look over there!

It's my mom as a kid.

Push me higher, sheldon, higher.

Sheldon: ok.

Grrr, dinkleberg.

Look out, dad!

My name's not dad, it's--

[Truck horn honks]

Whaaa!

Take my hand if you want to live.

Ooh, denzel crocker--

He's groovy and so heroic.

Dad: thanks, denzel crocker.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go stare angrily at dinkleberg.

Let me help you with that.

Hello, dimmsdale. I'm nanette ubetcha,

Reporting live from dimmsdale elementary,

With -year-old denzel crocker,

Where he just saved the life

Of yet another lucky citizen of dimmsdale.

It's all in a day's work, ma'am.

Wait. I'm learning that the mayor

Is declaring tomorrow, march , "denzel crocker day."

I can't wait to tell my mom.

Come on, we've got to follow him.

Crocker: mother!

I have great news.

Not now, denzel.

Mommy has to run to her second job

At the -track tape company.

It's the music delivery system of the future.

Boy: yup, and guess what that means.

Oh, no. It's vic, the babysitter.

H-h-hi, vic. I'm--

Going to bed!

Wait a minute. -Year-old kid, inattentive parent,

Evil babysitter,

Pink-and-green parrots, and soapbox cars?

Oh, my gosh!

Denzel crocker must have fairy godparents!

If I ever do that again, hit me.

Not now!

Gaaa!

My life is so miserable,

I don't know how I'd be able to bear it

If it weren't for you two...

Cosmo and wanda.

Hey, who's that gorgeous hunk of fairy?

What the-- come here.

Both: aah!

What are you guys doing being mr. Crocker's fairies

Years ago?

I don't know.

I don't remember being mr. Crocker's fairy.

Neither do i, and I'm the smart one.

I don't understand how he could have fairy godparents.

Uh! Uh!

Thanks for not using the oar.

I don't get it either, timmy.

All I remember is that march , ,

Is the worst day ever.

And tomorrow's march .

If you guys don't remember being his fairies,

Then crocker must have done something to lose you forever.

Oh, timmy, that's ridiculous.

All fairies are masters of disguise.

Yeah! I know I'd never do anything to give myself away.

Hi, ice cream man. Hi, group of children.

Hi, birdie. I can fly, too, because I'm a fairy.

Wheee!

Wanda: get in here, you idiot.

I wonder who blew his secret.

[Snoring]

Mama crocker: good-bye, denzel. Have a nice day.

Wake up, you guys. They're mobilizing.

Bye, mother.

Will I see you at the "denzel crocker day" ceremony?

Oh, I can't, denzel. It's wednesday.

Wednesday's the day mommy cleans the lockers at the roller disco.

My rhinestone pantsuit and your funky bell-bottom pants

Don't buy themselves, you know.

Bye, honey.

Yaaa! Here he comes.

Oh, hello there, stranger.

Groovy green-and-pink animals.

Thanks. Righteous green-and-pink parrots.

To city hall!

[Parrot squawks]

We've got to follow him.

He's going to the parade.

[Cheering]

Man: fellow citizens,

We are gathered here on this beautiful march

To honor the most helpful, least selfish, grooviest,

And most far-out kid in dimmsdale,

Denzel crocker.

Whoo-hoo! Speech! Speech!

Oh, I couldn't.

Now I could.

I'm so proud. These are the days

We'll remember years from now.

Like, I'll get some granola to celebrate.

Don't do anything stupid while I'm gone.

Must resist stupidity impulse.

Fellow citizens,

I was born in a log cabin years ago.

Timmy, this is it.

It happens here, in front of all these people?

Yes. It's all coming back to her now.

Wanda, k*ll the power.

I have to get denzel away from that microphone.

What do I do?

Both: don't do anything stupid.

Must resist stupidity impulse.

[Pop! Goes the weaselplaying]

Not resisting well.

Then I was . Oh, how I wanted a pony.

Pony?

Who wants a pony when you can have everything you want,

Because i--

Timmy: no-o-o!

[Gasps]

[Feedback]

Hey, is this thing on?

Crocker: you again. Who are you,

And how do you keep finding me?

With this genetic tracking device.

It can find anyone anywhere.

Wow! That's astounding.

But it doesn't matter.

You have to go home.

Your secret is in great danger.

Trust me.

I'm from the future. I know what happens today.

Resist urge to be dumb.

Hey, what's this do?

If you're not careful, this will be the day

When everybody realizes that you have fairy godparents.

[Echoing] fairy godparents.

Fairy godparents.

A fairy? That's absurd.

If I was a fairy, I'd look like this.

[Gasps]

Woman: oh, he's got a fairy.

I don't believe it-- a fairy.

No! Do you realize what you've done? Do you?!

No. I'm sorry.

This is exactly what I was trying to prevent.

[Whirring]

Deep voice: denzel crocker...

You have revealed your secret.

No. It was a mistake.

I wish we were hidden.

What? That pink-headed kid has fairies, too?

[Crashing]

You will now lose your fairy godparents.

What? What are you going to do?

From this day forth, you will forget you ever had a fairy.

Everyone in town will forget all the wonderful, amazing things

You have done for them by using your fairies,

And no magic on earth can ever change it.

Um, what's this thing do?

Who are you?

What'sthisthing do?

Waaaa! Who's that kid?

Hey, if this thing can track my genetics...

Laaaa...

Ow! Who did that?

Laaaa...

Crocker: then I can use this to track anything,

Even my fairy!

Fairy godparents exist!

Laaaa!

Ooh!

My fairy!

Even a fairy--

Gaaa!

Are there even fairies?

Gaaa! Gaaa! Gaaa!

Gaaa!

Uh, I forget. What are we doing here?

I don't know...

But it must have something to do with that crocker kid.

Well, we're not celebrating anything,

So we must be an angry mob!

[Yelling]

Aah!

Well, that didn't work out the way I'd hoped.

Yeah, but look at it this way--

At least now you know why he's miserable.

That's not good enough. Come on.

We should go back to march

And stop this from happening.

Jorgen: a-bup-bup.

Absolutely not.

Your meddling in this era is finished.

After speaking with my funky seventies counterpart,

We have decided that you are forbidden from ever returning

To march of .

However, you may feel free to muck around

With every other month of this year,

As long as you don't interfere

With the election of president mcgovern.

Now begone!

Disco?

With myself?

Outrageous! Outrageous!

[Disco music playing]

[Yelling]

Uh, whew.

[Beeping]

Huh? What's this?

Something's going on here, but I don't know what.

"Fairy godparents exist!"

Fairiesdoexist!

Fairies!

[Bird screeching]

[Yelling]

[Yelling]

[Yelling]

[Record scratch]

Happy march .

Look on the bright side.

At least you helped give him a swell, lifelong hobby.

Timmy: shh.

What was that?

[Beeping]

This device says there are fairies about.

Where are you, fairies?

Where are you?

Oh, no! The tracker!

I left it in the past, and he has it now.

Fairy godparents!

[Crowd yelling]

I know fairies exist,

And someday, I'm gonna catch one.

They can't hide from me forever.

Aah!

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Crocker: fairies!