03x17 - Crime Wave/Odd Ball

[bunniefuu]

♪ Timmy is an average kid

♪ That no one understands

♪ Mom and dad and vicky always giving him commands ♪

Bed, twerp!

♪ The doom and gloom up in his room ♪

♪ Is broken instantly

♪ By his magic little fish who grant his every wish ♪

♪ Because in reality

♪ They are his oddparents

♪ Fairly oddparents

Wands and wings!

Floaty, crowny things!

♪ Oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪

♪ Really mod, pea pod, buff bod, hot rod ♪

♪ Obtuse rubber goose ♪

♪ Green moose, guava juice ♪

♪ Giant snake, birthday cake ♪

♪ Large fries, chocolate shake! ♪

♪ Oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪

♪ It flips your lid when you are the kid ♪

♪ With fairly oddparents!

Vicky: yeah, right.

Timmy: but, mom, I don't see why I have to take a bath.

That's because the dirt's blocking your eyes.

Aah!

Have a nice bath!

You mean, you're not gonna stay in here

Just to make sure I take it?

Ho ho ho, timmy! You're .

You're old enough to be naked in a tub of water all by yourself now!

Besides...

We totally trust you!we totally trust you!

Dad: see you in minutes.

Well, at least I have my trusty crimson chin comic book

To pass the time.

Oh, no!

What's the matter, timmy?

Besides the fact that we're swimming in your filth.

Aw, man! This is last month's comic,

The one where he saves

Chincinatti from h olga.

H olga? She retains waterandevil.

So, I can't have a nice, relaxing soak in the tub

With last month's crimson chin.

I need this month's.

I wish I was at the comic store.

What about your parents?

I don't think they read comics.

I can be there and back before they even know I'm gone.

Cool! I'm at the comic store!

Not cool! I'm naked at the comic store!

Aah!

Do my ears deceive me?

Was that the cry of naked lad?

Let's get his naked autograph.

Aah!

I told you he had super naked speed.

Well, what do you want to do next?

Let's see how long we can hold our breath underwater.

[Inhales]

But you're a fish.

You don't have to hold your breath.

What?

[Inhales]

Woman: oh, charles.

I appreciate you watching my niece for me this afternoon.

[Cooing]

It's my pleasure, beverly boulevard,

Non-super powered reporter for thedaily blabbity.

It is my hope that by doing something nice for you,

You will, in turn, fall in love with me,

The sensitive caring man

Who's always pined for you.

What?

Oops! Did that come out of my mouth?

That was supposed to stay in a thought bubble.

After all, how much trouble can one baby be?

Hee hee.

Well, now that it's empty,

At least things can't get any worse.

[Crying]

[Muffled crying]

Hee ha ha!

Phew!

Great jaws of justice!

That is clearly a cry for help from a hefty man!

...the crimson chin!

And this odiferous young humanoid.

[Baby laughs]

Oh, man!

When cosmo and wanda poofed me out of the bathtub,

They did it without dressing me first!

[Vehicle approaching]

And if I don't get back home in the next minutes,

Mom and dad will know I didn't take my bath.

They'll totally k*ll me, or worse, make me take another bath!

[Horn honks]

I should be able to get home in time.

I just hope nobody sees me.

And now, chompy and I are proud to announce

Our dimmsdale street corner traffic cameras

Are finally up and running.

We can now see what's going on on any given street corner

At any given time.

All: ooh!

Baa!

That's right, chompy.

And now flip the switch and send the streets of dimmsdale

Into the future.

[Buzzing]

Chompy, shield your eyes!

Aah!

Got to get home--quick-- but on the bright side,

As long as mom and dad don't have to go to the bathroom

For any reason, I'll be ok.

Hey, honey,

Let's have a water-drinking contest.

Ok. Just as soon as I'm done

Sprinkling these chocolate laxatives on my high-fiber o's.

And for added fun, let's make it prune juice.

You're on. Prune me up, baby!

This is the panel of the comic

I heard the hefty man's scream coming fr--

Dancing dimples!

Help! Help!

Crimson chin: h olga!

You're the hefty man screaming for help?

That's right, crimson chin.

I need help-- arranging your funeral

Once I use my control of all liquids

To destroy you once and for all.

Ha! Had enough?

Ha!

Surrender, silly villain!

There is no body of water large enough for you to smite me.

Hee hee! Yay!

Oh, that's adorable. Justice makes it giggle!

[Laughing sinisterly]

[Giggling]

H olga: oh, crimson chin?

Yes?

Aah!

Oh, you're so cute and innocent.

I can't wait to raise you to be evil.

I'll just take this shortcut

Through the dimmsdale museum of science and natural history,

And I'll be home in no time.

Welcome to the museum of science and natural history.

Oh, no!

Why did I even let you drag me here?

I told you,

They have a cool new display of our solar system.

Wow! That's cool. And by cool I mean,

"Who cares?!"

Woman: behold.

The glory of our universe.

Nice moon. Glad we came.

Unhand that child that isn't mine!

Un...hand?

That's a great idea.

[Giggling]

Huh! Evil makes it giggle!

Beverly's niece is in danger.

There's not a moment to-- great jaws of justice!

[Sniff sniff]

That's enough liquid for one issue, thank you.

[All screaming]

It's the crimson chin!

It's the crimson chin!

Look!

[People yelling]

Well, that's everybody.

Aah!

Ha! Now that I've destroyed this page of the book,

There's nothing to stop me from destroying...

Page .

That's where the staples are.

Without them, the book will fall apart.

Must...stop...h olga!

[Baby cooing]

Hey, what's that on your arm?

Where?

Aah!

Made you look!

What? What is happening?

I'll tell you what's happening.

Aah!

All: yay, crimson chin!

I'll get out of here, crimson chin,

And when I do...

[Ppbbfflltt]

Aah!

It just goes to show you, olga,

When you live a life of crime,

You'll always be number .

[Both laughing]

[Knock knock] timmy!

What was that?

I can't believe

I let you talk me into a water-drinking contest!

Oh, no! It's timmy's parents!

Oh, no! Back in the filth!

Timmy: psst! Cosmo, wanda!

I wish I was back in the tub.

Naked lad?

[Cat screeches]

[Roaring]

Dad: you're clean enough.

Out!

Well, at least I'm naked in my own house.

Speak for yourself.

What? Everybody's doing it.

[Splash]

[Whistling]

[Chirping]

Wanda: a bright, sunny day.

Perfect for--

Playing video games in the dark for straight hours.

[Electronic bleeping]

This happens every time timmy gets a game for his v-cube.

It's not just any video game.

It's the digi dunk .

You can insert yourself into the game

And take it right to the hoop.

[Growling]

[Roars]

[Cackling]

Can we play?

[Snarling]

[Chuckles nervously]

I'll take that snarling and foaming at the mouth as a no.

Wanda: I'd hate to be the poor, oblivious, ignorant, moronic sap

Who tries to get timmy to share his game.

Oh, timmy!

Hmm? Aah!

Hey! Cool!

It's the digi dunk ! Can I play?

Can i? Can i? Can i?

[Growling]

Ooh, somebody wants to play "totally selfish kid ."

Well, two can play that game. My couch!

Well, nothing can separate me from my video game.

[Fizzling]

Except faulty japanese game parts.

Aw. Is your game broken?

I'd love to get it fixed, but we need to usemymoney.

Don't worry. I'll get it fixed.

Ha ha! How? Since you don't have any money

And you can't just wish it fixed,

You're out of luck, mister!

Aw, man!

If I just wish it fixed, dad will suspect something.

What the heck am I supposed to do for money?

Dad: it's called a job.

A what?

Oh, and it's my table!

I'm --i don't know how to use the want ads.

Here's how we make decisions.

Just give it a toss,

And whatever you hit, you stick with.

That's how I met wanda.

And I've still got the scar to prove it.

Boy: yow!

This just in.

A dimmsdale ball hogs ball boy has been injured

In a bizarre dart incident.

If you'd like to be

The ball boy for the worst basketball team in the league,

The job is now up for grabs.

Hey! If you can't play your video game,

Then getting a real job on a real basketball team

Would be the next best thing.

Yeah! Being the ball hog ball boy would have

All the excitement and energy

Of a video basketball game, but for real.

I wish I was at the dimmadome.

[Wind]

[Clearing throat]

[Howling]

Wow. My first day on the job.

You must really be excited.

Are you kidding?

This is going to be--

Great?

[Cricket chirping]

Hey, it's almost game time.

Where is everybody?

Thisis everybody.

Doug dimmadome?

That's right-- doug dimmadome.

Real estate tycoon, owner of the dimmadome

And the last-place

Dimmsdale ball hogs.

But...where's the team?

There they are.

That's overpriced star player flash williams.

My ball!

And my other even more overpriced star player, smooth daley.

My ball!

Mine! Gimme!

Ha! They're the most selfish players in the league.

Where's the excitement? The energy? The fans?

What part of "last place" did you not understand?

If they don't get out of last place soon,

I'm selling them to the alaska basketball league,

Which is like our league only a lot colder.

What?! Hope y'all like whale blubber.

Announcer: ladies and gentlemen,

Presenting the visitors...

The freakishly tall pittsburgh earthtrotters.

Your ball. No, your ball.

Your ball. Take my car.

Take my house.

Take my dog.

Player: oh, I love you!

And now, the home team.

Your equally freakishly large and totally selfish

Last place dimmsdale ball hogs!

Timmy: yay!

My ball.

My ball.

[Both shouting]

This is chet ubetcha saying,

Let's get out there and lose again!

[Whistle blowing]

Yeah, throw up that ball!

Come on, you guys, get in there!

We can win!

I'm not giving up my seat.

Me neither. This is my seat.

Let's go again!

Oh, man! If they don't win,

Not only am I not going to get enough money for a v-cube,

They're going to move to alaska!

There's only one thing to do.

Acquire a taste for whale blubber?

No. Get in there and win one for the v-cube.

I wish I was freakishly huge

And talented at basketball.

Ow!

At least until I make enough money for a new v-cube,

Then I never want to be this freakishly huge again.

Wanda: come on, timmy!

Get out there and get in the paint!

Ubetcha: the ball hogs

Are down points.

The earthtrotters are safely in the lead

And not even pretending to be interested,

And the ball hogs continue to be all about themselves.

Nah. I'm not signing that deal.

I'll sign the deal with the shoe and the sock.

This is chet ubetcha, saying the fat lady has...

Timmy: wa-hoo!

Has gotten a new player.

Ouch! Ouch... Ouch! Ouch...

This is chet ubetcha, saying, sweet!

Seconds left. All tied up.

If the new kid makes this shot,

The ball hogs will finally win a game.

Piece of cake.

Aah!

And...the other team wins.

I don't understand.

I suddenly stink. What happened?

Timmy, everybody knows that the last minutes

Are the only real competitive parts

Of any professional basketball game.

And we can't help you win a competition.

But I can help them.

I have to turn these guys into a winning team.

Or they're all going to alaska.

All right.

Prepare to share.

Aah!

Flash, heads up!

Ow!

Ball hogs win! Ball hogs win!

Ball hogs win!

Hey, i--i scored! And you helped?

That's what teammates do.

Aah!

Ow!

Ball hogs win!

Ooh! Ball hogs, look!

I'm a wave of one!

What--what's that noise?

It's cheering. You have a fan now.

Guys, heads up!

Ow! Ow!

Swish!

[Crowd cheering]

Ball hogs win again!

Ball hogs win and win and win.

Ball hogs! Ball hogs! Ball hogs! Ball hogs...

Wow! Your growth spurt may keep the ball hogs in dimmsdale.

And as a way of saying thanks...

And to get you motivated for tonight's big game...

I'm going to give you, um--what's the word I'm looking for?

My pay?

Ah! Ooh! Oh, it's too painful.

J-just take it.

Can I have a minute to say good-bye?

Good-bye, money.

Wow. This is just enough money to buy a v-cube.

Ah, well. Pack the parkas, kids.

Hey, what gives?

Well, you just wanted to play

Until you got the money for your v-cube, remember?

You got to make me freakishly huge again.

Tonight's the big game.

Uh, timmy, we can't, remember?

I wish I was freakishly huge and talented at basketball.

Ow! At least until I make enough money for a new v-cube.

Then I never want to be this freakishly huge again.

I have got to be less specific with these wishes.

Well, all we can hope for

Is that your lessons in sharing will spur

The ball hogs on to victory.

And if not, who wants to try my blubber nuggets?

Mmm! They're chewy!

[Crowd cheering]

And with the new kid gone,

It would be a miracle for the ball hogs to win the championship.

Well, boys, bad news is, we're going to lose.

Good news is, I bought you all snowshoes.

This is your fault.

No, it's your fault.

Guys, snap out of it.

You don't need to share the blame when you can share the glory.

If you play together as a team, you can still win.

If you don't, you're gonna freeze your butts off in alaska.

Let's do it! Let's do it!

[Whistle blowing]

Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

Where do you think you're going, little man?

I'm not going anywhere. He is.

It's my ball...

To share!

Yay!

Yay!

[Crowd cheering]

Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!

Aah! Aah!

Wa-hoo!

Smooth sh**t the ball.

Flash sh**t the kid!

[Cheering]

Ubetcha: the ball hogs win the championship!

What are you gonna do next?

All: we're not going to alaska!

What am I supposed to do with all these blubber nuggets?

Hey--they're chewy.

Hey!

Nice new v-cube. I mean,

[Angrily] nice new v-cube!

Is it yours?

Nope. It's yours.

[Gasping]

[Crying]

Aw. Timmy learned to share.

And speaking of sharing, how about some blubber nuggets?

I'm sorry I was such a selfish jerk, dad.

Can you ever forgive me?

I--i--i don't know what to say, son, except...

Mine!

But you can have the sofa.

Announcer: tonight's game

Is brought to you

By farmer ahab blubber nuggets.

Mmm...they're chewy!

[Crowd cheering]