05x05 - Timmy's 2-D House of Horror/It's a Wishful Life

[bunniefuu]

♪ Timmy is an average kid

♪ That no one understands

♪ Mom and dad and vicky always giving him commands ♪

Bed, twerp!

♪ The doom and gloom up in his room ♪

♪ Is broken instantly

♪ By his magic little fish who grant his every wish ♪

♪ 'Cause in reality

♪ They are his oddparents

♪ Fairly oddparents

Wands and wings!

Floaty, crowny things!

♪ Oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪

♪ Really mod, pea pod, buff bod, hot rod ♪

♪ Obtuse rubber goose ♪

♪ Green moose, guava juice ♪

♪ Giant snake, birthday cake ♪

♪ Large fries, chocolate shake! ♪

♪ Oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪

♪ It flips your lid when you are the kid ♪

♪ With fairly oddparents!

Yeah, right.

[Screaming]

[Screaming]

Oh, no! Look!

It's the haunted volcano!

In -d!

Did yousay -d?

Ds?

Just like timmy's report card.

[Screaming]

Yawn.

Oh, this old movie is lame!

I know.

I was screaming because

I just realized when I got married,

I said "till death do us part."

And since I'm immortal, that's forever.

[Screams]

"It came from the haunted volcano"

Isn't lame!

It's the greatest -d movie

About a haunted volcano ever made!

Yawn.

Here. Put on these -d glasses.

Drat!

My laser's not working!

Here, try my paddleball!

Look!

The haunted volcano is gonna blow!

Great.

Now it's lame in -d.

But that's the beauty of having fairy godparents.

Cosmo, I wish that lava really was -d.

Cool!

I mean hot!

The lava's about to hit vicky's house.

We had better stop it.

Timmy?

Hello?!

Uh...

You're not gonna unwish this, are you?

Woman: see? We cleaned you room.

Cleaned it just like you asked us to.

You're happy now, right?

Because as your parents,

We like it when you're happy.

As a matter of fact--

No, I am not!

Awesome!

Vicky's house is gone!

Now she'll have to move far, far away

And we'll never see her again!

Dad: we insist that you all move in with us...

[Growling]

Until your house is completely repaired.

Both: no way!

Yay!

Both: well...

Oh.

We couldn't possibly.

Vicky and her new snake friend

Wouldn't like that.

Oh. Oh, but you must!

We have no friends!

It's just us and that boy!

Please, please stay with us!

Please!

What he means is

We'll have plenty of time to spend with you.

We'll play charades!

We'll make fondue!

Or should I say fundue?!

Please!

Over his dead body.

What?!

On, and of course we'll pay vicky

To baby-sit hours a day.

Where do I sleep?

Dad: timmy's room, of course.

Timmy, you can sleep on the couch.

Actually, doidle likes to sleep on the couch.

Then where do I sleep?

[Shivering]

Vicky: oh, twerp!

Time for breakfast!

[Grunts]

[Laughing]

Or should we call them puncakes?!

[Laughing]

[Straining]

Mmm! I'm starved.

Hey!

Hey!

Hey! Stop that!

That's mine!

Dad: hey, timmy,

We're a conjoined family now.

We have to share.

There's no "mine," only "ours."

Except that. That's mine!

You know, technically...

We're now living together.

Aaah!

Ugh!

[Laughing]

That's always funny.

Finally, I'm safe in my own room.

My fortress of manlytude.

Agh!

Cosmo, wanda, help!

I don't know which side is scarier.

Hey! Isn't this room fantabulous!

No, it's not fabulous.

Fantabulous.

I want my room back.

I want my life back.

I want vicky and her family out of here

Right now!

Timmy, maybe you're looking at this wrong.

Yeah, looking at them with these.

Aaah!

Aaah! Too real!

No! I want those guys out of here!

I wish vicky's house was % repaired!

Oh, it's big family fun to make a collage!

Or should I say coollage.

Ha ha ha!

I love having adult friends.

And how smart of vicky to find

A use for all those old vintage comic books

Crowding timmy's closet.

Maybe you should tip me.

Timmy: good news!

I just happened to notice vicky's house is fixed!

Like magic!

They can go home now.

Like magic!

But we're having so much fun.

And it's so nice to have eyewitnesses

To vicky's cruelness.

I mean kindness.

Kindness!

Please don't make us go back.

Don't worry, new friends,

I'll handle this.

[Grunting]

[Crashing noises]

[Panting]

Does this house look repaired to you?

I love my new friends who aren't leaving.

Yay! Yay! Yay!

Aagh!

I feel another tip coming on.

There you go.

Who's up for canasta?

Or should I say funasta?

You know what?

You really should let me handle

The snappy wordplay.

Uh, I mean, happy word play!

Timmy: guys, what am I gonna do?

Obviously just fixing vicky's house

Isn't gonna get rid of her and her family.

Well, if I were you,

I'd wish for a bigger doghouse.

Or give vicky's parents

A reason to want to leave.

Fat chance! They love it here.

Just look at them.

It's sick--

Aagh!

All: it's so real!

[Screaming]

Look out!

Dad: oh, I'm so scared!

Hold me, you friends!

Save my kitty!

Hey!

All this -d horror

Is making me hungry.

Me, too!

Who wants some snacks?

Both: do we?

Do we?

Yes.

Both: we do!

We do!

They're scared by that dumb movie?!

Oh, it's the -d glasses.

They make it look so scary.

Wanda, that's it!

We're gonna scare them out!

I wish those -d glasses

Made everything they see and hear super-scary!

Oh, and they can't take them off

Until they leave my house for good.

Mom: come and get it!

Who wants spaghetti and...

Eyeballs?

[Evil laughter]

[Screaming]

Vicky: eyeballs?

Big deal.

That's not scary.

[Screaming]

What did you say to our new friends?

I said spaghetti and meatballs.

Do you want to be stuck here alone

With the boy again?

Let me handle this.

Who wants a slice of french...

Arm?!

[Evil laughter]

[Screaming]

A severed arm?

Only one?

Been there.

Are you sure you don't want any?

Mmm!

They're juicy and delicious.

Or maybe a meatball sandwich?

[Screaming]

[Cackling]

[Screaming]

Mmm! Mmm!

That's it!

We're out of here!

Please! Don't go, new friends!

Nobody's going anywhere.

Haunted house, schmaunted house.

As long as I am making money here,

We stay!

Come back! Come back!

[Growling]

[Snarling]

This isn't working.

They're more scared of vicky

Than they are of my cannibal parents.

Can you blame them?

You have to make her leave, too,

Or they'll never go.

That's it!

We have to show her the things

That she fears most.

Oh, dad,

Can I see your wallet?

Oh, sure, son.

Honey, can I have my wallet?

[Sniffing]

Huh?

My money!

Ooh!

My wallet's empty.

[Screaming]

And we're donating your money to charity.

[Screaming]

Well, at least I've still got the money

You already gave me.

Aagh!

We are so out of here!

[Screaming]

What was that all about?

I have no idea.

Normally people taste my food

Before they run out like that.

Yeah, and usually they run right to the can.

Our new friends left,

And all we have to remember them by

Are these glasses.

Mom, dad, no!

[Gasps]

Dinkleberg!

Is something wrong, dear?

[Screaming]

[Screaming]

Both: wait for us, new friends!

I can't believe these things worked.

Finally, I have my house back.

I came back for you.

Whoa! These are good.

Aagh!

Darn it!

Aagh!

It's too scary!

And wait till you see

What I've done with your room--

Or should I say our room?!

And it's till death do us part.

Aagh!

[Bell rings]

Phew! Finally!

The perfect seascape backdrop

For the school play.

You know, timmy,

Painting this for mr. Bickles

Was really nice of you.

But look what it did to my hair!

[Gasps]

My dream!

It's...it's...

It's...

Fabulous? Scrumptious?

Delectable?

Ruined!

Those clouds are too puffy,

And the water isn't violet blue,

It's practically teal.

My dream of doing the ballet version

Of "waterworld" is ruined!

Kevin, forgive me!

Happy birthday, a.j.!

This computer, it's...

Amazing? Astounding?

State-of-the-art?

Obsolete as of seconds ago.

Thanks for the high-tech doorstop...

That doesn't work.

Tada!

My friends and teacher might be unappreciative,

But wait until my parents see the lawn.

Both: timmy!

The lawn!

It's...it's...

Perfect? Beautiful? Amazing?

Ruined!

And on the same day as the dimmsdale

Worst lawn competition.

Kevin, forgive me!

Baa!

You're right, chompy.

Even I wouldn't eat this lawn.

First prize!

Dinkleberg!

And my butt is not that big!

Aagh!

For once in my -year-old life

I decide to do some good deeds,

And nobody even appreciates them.

Wanda: we appreciate you, timmy.

Yeah, if you were to do something nice for us,

Like clean out our fishbowl,

I'd totally notice.

I did that yesterday.

Huh? You call this clean?!

That's it!

You guys don't appreciate me either.

Fine!

Let's see how everyone would like it

If I weren't around to not appreciate.

You missed a spot here and here.

Timmy: fine! You know what?

I wish I was never born.

And you missed a spot here and here.

All right!

Time to see how miserable everybody is

In a world without timmy turner.

Parents: whoo-hoo!

[Laughter]

A mansion?

Where's my house?

Ooh, check it out, honey,

It says here that our beautiful, talented,

Not-boy daughter sophia

Is going to get nominated for another

Academy award!

Ooh, really?

What for this time--

Acting, writing, or directing?

All !

Timmy: wow!

My parents are doing great without me.

[Thunder]

Man: timmy turner?aagh!

The grim reaper!

Aha! No, it is i,

Jorgen von strangle,

And flattery will not help you.

I have come to show you how horrible

The world is without you.

What are you talking about?

My parents' lives are great.

[Cheering]

I know. I was being sarcastic.

Ha ha! Ha!

Why don't people get my hilarious sense of humor?

But I digress.

It is time for you

To go to the dimension

Of kids who improve the world

By wishing they were never born!

Aagh!

Wait!

Somebody's life has to be worse

Without me around!

Francis? Crocker? Vicky?

Uh, let me save you some time.

No, everyone's life is better.

Now, can we please go to that place

With the long name that I just told you about?

No way!

Yes way.

Now, let's go!

Wait! How 'bout this?

If I can find one person

Whose life is worse because I'm gone,

You give me my life back.

If I can't,

I'll go with you without a fight.

Well, it would give me a chance

To humiliate you one more time.

Puny turner, you are on!

Weird.

Everything looks normal.

Uh-oh! Someone is coming.

I must blend in.

Francis, don't k*ll me!

Why would I k*ll you?

It's my fault.

I wasn't watching where I was going.

And I'd hate to injure a fan.

Francis is nice...

And not gray.

Correct!

Without you, he had to find

A different outlet for his bullying.

He is now the star of the football team--

Which is like bullying,

But with the possibility of a scholarship!

Plus, all that has given him a tan.

Yeah, well,

I bet without me around,

Crocker is losing it.

Proving I had fairies was his whole reason for existence.

Not exactly.

And that, class,

Is what the scholars call

Existentialism!

[Cheering]

Without you mucking up his childhood,

Crocker became harvard's most valuable professor.

And without you dragging a.j. Down,

He was able to graduate high school

At the age of !

With a full head of hair?

Aw, come on!

How is that my fault?

Stuff like that is usually cosmo's fault.

Cosmo! That's it!

His life is worse without me.

It has to be!

Mmm...

Not exactly.

Chester's house?

What are we doing here?

Take a better look.

It's a triple wide?

That's two wides wider than usual!

And it's on solid-gold blocks.

But how?

Cosmo, wanda!

Cosmo, wanda, come on.

We're late for our shift at the senior center.

We're gonna wish up pre-chewed steaks

For the toothless!

What a great kid!

So selfless and wishing for others.

Yeah.

And look at those perfect,

Braceless, not-goofy teeth!

Oh! And no stupid pink hat to ruin his hair.

[All sigh]

What next?

I suppose vicky is a nice babysitter now?

Both: not exactly.

I know! I know!

She works for dr. Bender?

Aha!

So, she's still causing pain.

Not exact--

Sorry.

Vicky is his assistant

In charge of laughing gas.

She prevents the pain.

[Giggling]

Ok.

That's it.

I give up.

Wait! Wait!

Don't you want to see elmer

Without his boil,

Mr. Bickles' musical production of "waterworld,"

Or how 'bout the world series champion chicago cubs?

No. Game over.

You win.

Ha!

And now it is time to say good-bye

To the life you used to have

Before I send you to the dimension

Of kids who improved the world

By wishing they were never born!

Man, that's a mouthful!

Good-bye, timmy turner.

[Screaming]

Forever!

Timmy: I'm not going anywhere!

[Laughing]

Ha ha! Laughing gas!

Stop! I cannot stop laughing!

Ah ha ha! Ha ha!

I thought...

Aagh!

You were going to go without a fight?

Ha ha ha ha!

Whoa! Oof!

Aagh!

Not exactly.

Now, while laughing boy is busy,

This is my chance to change everything back.

Middle-class parents,

Bald a.j.,

Bully francis,

Poor chester,

Reboiled elmer,

But all I'll be doing is making everybody's life worse.

I can't do that to cosmo and wanda

And mom and dad.

I can do it to elmer,

But I don't really know him that well.

Here you go, jorgen,

Timmy turner...

You passed the test!

Test? What test?!

And why aren't you still laughing?

Silly human.

Laughing gas cannot make me laugh.

Only pain does that.

Watch!

[Shrieks]

Ah ha ha! Ha ha ha!

Oh, man, that's good!

Now, where was i?

Oh, you made your stupid wish

Because you felt unappreciated, right?

Yeah, 'cause no one noticed all my good deeds.

You are not supposed to do good deeds

Because they will get you noticed.

You are supposed to do them

Because they are the right thing to do.

And by not wishing yourself back into existence

And ruining everyone's lives,

You did the goodestest deed of all!

And thus I will grant you one wish.

Excellent!

I wish I had never wished

That I had never been born.

That was another test.

And you failed!

Aagh!

I'm only kidding.

Good heavens, what's a fairy got to do

To get a laugh around here?

[Sobbing]

Whaa!

Both: money bath!

Oh.

And a spot here.

And another spot here!

Guys, I'm back!

You left?

Yeah, don't you remember?

I was feeling unappreciated

So I wished I didn't exist.

Now that you mention it...

No, but I do appreciate

You pulling my head out of the bowl.

You do? Yeah.

It's really dirty.

Can you clean it for us sometime?

Why, I oughta...

[Screaming]

Do that right now.

Aw, timmy doing a good deed?

What's gotten into him?

Do you feel timmy learned

A huge life lesson without us?

Maybe it would be better if we didn't exist.

Don't get my hopes up.

Ahh!

A talking cactus!

Frederator!