06x09 - King Chang/The End of the Universe-ity

[bunniefuu]

♪ Timmy is an average kid

♪ That no one understands

♪ Mom and dad and vicky always giving him commands ♪

Bed, twerp!

♪ The doom and gloom up in his room ♪

♪ Is broken instantly

♪ By his magic little fish who grant his every wish ♪

♪ Because in reality

♪ They are his oddparents

♪ Fairly oddparents

Wands and wings!

Floaty, crowny things!

♪ Oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪

♪ Really mod, pea pod, buff bod, hot rod ♪

♪ Obtuse rubber goose ♪

♪ Green moose, guava juice ♪

♪ Giant snake, birthday cake ♪

♪ Large fries, chocolate shake! ♪

♪ Oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪

♪ It flips your lid when you are the kid ♪

♪ With fairly oddparents!

Vicky: yeah, right.

Timmy turner!

Thank you for helping me celebrate

My first year on your most awesome earth, brah.

Anything for my best bud, who's an alien

And tried to destroy me once.

Now I present

An intergalactic entertainment extravaganza!

One year ago, I landed on earth.

Wow. Here is the day I left my home planet of yugopotamia

To escape the love clutches of the hideously evil

Princess mandie.

And here's me with my true love.

The horrifying-- in a really good way--

Vicky!

Hey, that's you?

Yeah. I used the image fake-a-fier

To become justin jake ashton,

Moody teen dream with first names.

In fact, I have a date with my wicked beloved

This very night.

Mmm...uh.

Whoa. Watch the emotions, buddy.

You shorted out the fake-a-fier.

I am so lucky to have a concerned friend like you

And a hideous girlfriend in vicky.

I am never leaving the nirvana known as earth!

Aah! We're leaving the nirvana known as earth!

Aah! We are being pulled into a yugopotamian imperial-like retrieval ship!

Aah! Aah!

Mother! Father.

You interrupted my totally rocking one-year anniversary par-tay.

What gives?

Nice to see you, too, mark.

You look thin.

Are you getting enough garbage in your diet?

Whoa. What's going on?

Timmy turner-- brave earth warrior--

You and your colorful talking weapons on strings must help us!

Someone is trying to eliminate me.

Why would you say that?

This is why I sent for you, mark.

You must become king of yugopotamia

While I do the respectable thing

And run for my life.

But I don't want to be king.

I want to be moody teen dream justin jake ashton.

Well, I wanted to be a rodeo clown.

We all have to make sacrifices, son.

Turner, you are a mighty warrior and my best friend,

So please, like, thwart the evil plan against my dad

And allow me to return to my happy life on earth, ok?

You had me at mighty warrior.

Ok, king grippullon,

I'll find out who's trying to eliminate you

While you temporarily hide on earth as me.

Hey, I feel like a dork.

Oh, no. There are two of them.

Our worst fears have been realized!

Now, act cool, and the answer to every question

Is "I didn't do it."

By the powers vested in my vest,

I declare you king of yugopotamia.

Ok, got to go save my own butt. Bye!

And I'll use this opportunity to go to planet spa.

Good luck in staying alive, son.

Uh, what just happened?

You're the king now, your majesty.

[Crowd cheering]

Yeah, yeah, I'm the new king. Blah blah.

So don't blast me like my old man, all right?

Turner, while I appreciate your assistan-say,

I must remind you I have a date tonight

With my vicky, and if I miss it,

She will crush me, and not in the fun way.

Don't worry, your highness.

You'll be home in time for your gross date

Because I assure you, I will quickly solve this challenging mystery.

Mark chang, it is i, mandie.

I have been trying to eliminate your father

So you can assume the throne and I can finally become

Your queen.

Mystery solved. Aah!

I figured you'd bring your buck-toothed pal

And his magic floating friends,

But I don't want them in any of our wedding pictures!

Aah! Aah!

Oh, no! We're shrunk.

[High voice] and we sound funny.

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck

If a woodchuck could chuck wood?

I love being tiny cosmo!

Ha ha ha!

Guys, quick! I wish for a giant laser

To totally zap mandie!

Oh, I hate tiny magic.

At least we still sound funny.

[Wedding march playing]

Please don't hurt me.

I bruise very easy, and--

Talk!

Uh, do you, mandie, take mark--

I do!

And do you, mark, take me as your queen?

Uh, kinda.

Works for me.

I now pronounce you king and queen. Bye!

What just happened?

You're married!

At last I am queen!

I finally have the power to rule yugopotamia!

As well as a hunky husband whom you love and adore, right?

Droids, lock these two in the tower

While I formulate a plan for mandiepotamia to attack earth!

Wait a minute. You mean you never loved mark?

You've been lying to him all this time

Just so you could take over his planet

And rule its people with an iron fist?

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Does this answer your question?

Wow. That's sort of hot.

No, it's not!

[Grunting]

I had no idea life on your planet was so rich.

No wonder your son is such a prized warrior.

I mean, I didn't do it.

Eating garbage? Talking in that weird, deep voice?

Crashing a spaceship?

It can only mean one thing.

Puberty!

We've got to find a way down from here

And stop mandie from taking over your planet and attacking mine!

This is, like, so not the honeymoon I imagined,

But it's close.

And although I will miss my date with my beloved vicky,

At least I can take comfort in admiring

The love markings she's given me on our past dates.

Dude, those are stitches.

No. They are love markings.

She gave me these when I looked at another girl,

These when another girl looked at moi,

And this love welt when I said "buttered squirrel,"

Which apparently sounds like "other girl."

Wait! That's it! I know how we can defeat mandie.

Your naivete is most amusing.

No one can defeat mandie!

She is the meanest, nastiest, most hideous warrior in the universe!

No. There is another.

Almost. There.

One...more...step.

Excellent. Now explain again how I get down.

Aaah!

Follow me!

You guys will be safe up here.

Cosmo: ladies and gentlemen, tiny cosmo has left the building!

Mandie: no one escapes mandie!

[Panting]

I'll get you, mark chang!

Aah!

Ooh! A space battle.

Tiny cosmo loves seeing a good space battle.

Take this!

Aah!

Perfect. We're in time for your really gross date with vicky.

Let us go with haste.

She will be more angry if we are late.

In that case, let's wait.

[Deep voice] now I head out into your atmosphere

To converse with other humanoids.

Uh, I mean...

I didn't do it.

He's really starting to frighten me.

Nonsense, honey. He's still our son

No matter how odd and terrifying

His transformation into adulthood is.

Oh, no! There are two of them!

Our worst fears have been realized!

[Deep voice] hello, son. Mighty warrior.

How's everything going?

Hagh!

Aah!

Exactly according to plan.

Mandie: mark chang, did you think the fake-a-fier

Could fool the universe's mightiest female warrior?

Hah!

Justin jake ashton, my moody teen dream boyfriend,

You are late for our date!

Who's the iron maiden?

Back off, sister.

Trust me, he's not what you think he is.

Um, I think he's mine, so you back off!

Hyah!

Listen, red, he's my man.

I don't want to hurt you, so--

Whoa. That's hot.

What just happened?

Vicky, that was, like, totally awesome!

Uh, we should see other people.

Ok, not the best thing for my self-esteem.

We're free!

How much wood would a woodchuck--

Nope. Not as funny.

Timmy, son, thank you both for saving me today.

Mark, you'll make an excellent king someday.

Does that mean I can stay here on earth, dad?

Why not? But first let's go home and end your marriage

And imprison mandie in a tower for eternity.

Wicked!

See you tomorrow, turner.

Come on, guys. What do you say we go home?

It's gonna be nice to have everything back to normal.

Here you go, honey.

Garbage extra gross, just the way you like it.

Dad: sorry, son, but it's for your own good.

You can come out when puberty is over.

Let's go clear space for this box in the attic.

Something tells me king grippullon as timmy

Didn't blend in that well.

And something tells me you can't keep tiny cosmo down.

Cosmo, you dingaling.

I love it when she talks tiny to me.

I'm baaack!

Whoa ho ho ho ho!

And this time I will finally destroy the earth.

[Beeping]

Oh, not again.

I wish a big mirror was in front of the earth.

Grr! Now for the orbiting space laser cannon.

[Beep]

[Beeping]

Oh! I wish the earth was on the other side of the sun.

Aah!

Now for the super giant destructo laser.

[Beeping]

Timmy: ugh. I wish the death ball's laser was a self-destructing mallet.

[Toilet flushes]

Not the face!

I want to know why all of my attempts to destroy the earth fail!

Sir, after a thorough analysis,

We believe the reason you can't destroy the earth is timmy turner.

We theorize that these colorful shape-shifting entities

Are the source of timmy's power.

As a result, he always seems to know your next move

Ahead of time.

So how do I destroy him?

You don't. Rather than fight timmy turner and lose,

Have him join us.

Yes, of course. Make turner my evil apprentice.

But first I must check with my most trusted advisor.

What do you think, flipsy?

Flip once for recruit turner

And two for destroy.

[Arf arf]

Ha ha! Recruit turner. Recruit turner.

Hello. I'm professor laser,

And I'm here to offer your son, who I can't seem to destroy,

A scholarship to, uh, darkmouth university.

[Heavy breathing]

We're listening.

Stand back, mom and dad!

We meet again, timmy turner.

I prefer being a dipstick to being a light stick.

Easy, sweetheart. This nice scary man who has the same toy as you

Wants to pay for your college.

Yes, and I'd like to take you and your son

On a tour of our university.

I don't know if it's his creepy mask and ominous cape

Or the fact that he's offered to pay for your college,

But tour us up, baby!

So, uh, timmy will be going to college

In an ugly, charred space station?

Here at darkmouth, we put our focus on academics,

Not appearances.

And you're gonna pay for all of it so we don't have to, right?

Yes.

Both: we love free college!

I don't wish to fight, timmy.

I want you to join me,

And together we can rule this universe.

I will never join you!

Just hear me out because once you get a taste

Of the dark power, you'll never go back.

Check it out. You can do cool stuff like this.

Ok, yeah, that is pretty cool.

But I have all the power I need.

Yes, but do your powers last forever like dark powers?

Don't listen to him, timmy.

It's a scam.

It's no scam.

I'm prepared to offer you

A -hour dark power trial run.

If you're not convinced these are the coolest powers ever,

Just return the suit and I will never attack the earth again.

[School bell rings]

[Whip cracking]

Wanda: this is a waste of time.

There's no way dark powers are better than fairy powers.

Yeah, but if I want dark laser to stop trying to destroy the earth,

I got to wear this suit for hours.

Hey, turner, you look kind of cool,

But I'm still gonna pound you so hard

Your feet will be your ears.

Uh! Uh!

You got to admit, that is one cool power.

Oh, big deal.

Fairy powers can beat down bullies

Just as good as dark powers can. Watch.

And we can make him naked.

Uh!

[Woman screams]

Can your dark powers do that?

No, but I don't like seeing francis naked.

And it says right here I can use dark powers to win competitions.

Can fairy powers do that?

Both: uh, no.

Nice toilet paper experiment, turner.

There's no way you'll ever beat us

In our really expensive experiment

That our dads had real scientists make for us.

Turner, once again I see

That you have the worst project in the science fair.

[Screaming]

And now I see you have the only project in the science fair.

It hurts me to give you this ribbon.

It really does.

That hurts even more!

Awesome! I won the science fair.

Yeah, but you cheated.

Yeah, but I won. Dark powers rock!

Oh, yeah? Well, you still can't poof crocker naked!

Aah! I'm naked!

Aah!

Hey, it says I can use my dark powers

To win love, too.

Um, why is buck-toothed boy here,

Even though he looks kind of cool?

"Hi, timmy. Can I sit next to you?"

Hi, timmy. Can I sit next to you?

"I'm going to kiss you now."

I'm going to kiss you now.

Hey!

Oh, I think we're in trouble.

Here's a quiz.

What happened to a chunk of your college fund?

Uh, you bought motorcycles?

Ooh, he is smart.

No wonder he got a scholarship.

And now that we're going out to have fun at your expense,

We want you to have fun, too, with vicky!

Ah ha ha ha ha!

I always wanted a door there,

And fat hogs.

Bye, scholarship boy!

Ok, twerp. What do you say we have fun tonight?

Ha ha ha!

"Here's your cocoa, timmy."

Here's your cocoa, timmy.

"I'm gonna hit myself with this frying pan now."

I'm gonna hit myself with this frying pan now.

Ok, it's been hours.

Time to take off the dark suit,

Give it back, and say good-bye to dark laser.

But timmy likes dark powers.

Dark powers are cool.

Yeah? Well, timmy has got to choose right now

What powers he prefers.

Yeah. Do you want dark powers that will last forever

And give you the ability to rule the universe and everything in it,

Or totally lame fairy powers that are limited and will last

More years tops?

"I'm gonna hit myself with this frying pan now."

I'm gonna hit myself with this frying pan now.

Ow! Ow! Ow!

Congratulations, timmy.

And now your first act as the only graduate

Of darkmouth university is to destroy the earth!

Yes, my lord.

Ok, just press the button and earth goes bye-bye.

Ha ha ha ha!

Timmy, you can't destroy the earth!

Think about all the people.

Yeah. Think about your parents, who spent your college money

On fat hogs and don't get concerned when vicky shows up with chainsaws.

Think about cosmo, poof, and me.

Timmy, don't do it.

I...i...

I won't, and I told you I'd never join you, dark laser.

Anger.

You promised to never attack the earth again

If I returned the suit, and here it is.

There's one more thing about dark powers

I forget to mention:

You can lie your evil butt off.

Tell him, flipsy.

[Arf arf]

Gasp.

Uh!

Now he's got dark powers and his pink, green, and purple entities.

Yeah. I probably should have taken the suit back

Before I threatened him, but...

Blast him!

Uh!

[Shouting]

Evil leap.

Ha ha ha!

You're all finished, kid.

[Shouting]

Timmy turner, you may have defeated my army,

But you can't save your world. Right, flipsy?

[Arf arf]

Ha ha ha ha!

Uh. I wish the laser was in reverse.

[Rock music playing]

Man, I hate that kid.

And I wish we were back home!

I'm proud of you, sport.

I really thought we'd lost you.

Are you crazy?

I would never get rid of you guys.

But I guess I should get rid of this suit.

One suit shredder wish coming up.

[Horn honks]

Timmy, check out our new boat.

We're going to take it to the lake

With our new burly biker friends.

Hi, timmy! Hi, timmy!

But don't worry. We got vicky to keep you company.

Vicky: ha ha ha ha ha!

Nothing's saying I can't hold on to this suit

For emergencies, right?

I'm baaack!

"I'm going to flush my head in the toilet now."

I'm going to flush my head in the toilet now.

[Flushing]

Well, I don't like the dark powers,

But I do love me this suit!

I'm still naked!