00x02 - Party of Three!/The Temp!/The Zappys!

[bunniefuu]

♪♪

[Narrator] The Crimson Chin and Cleft

had just defeated the Bronze Kneecap

and the Iron Lung when--

Horror of unspeakable horrors!

Wow! That was short.

More after this!

♪ Timmy is an average kid ♪

♪ That no one understands ♪

♪ Mom and dad and Vicky ♪

♪ Always giving him commands ♪

Bed, twerp!

♪ The doom and gloom up in his room ♪

♪ Is broken instantly ♪

♪ By his magic little fish who grant his every wish ♪

♪ '’Cause in reality ♪

♪ They are his oddparents ♪

♪ Fairly oddparents ♪

Wands and wings.

Floaty crowny things.

♪ Oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪

♪ Really mod, pea pod ♪

♪ Buff bod, hot rod ♪

Obtuse, rubber goose, green moose, guava juice,

giant snake, birthday cake, large fries, chocolate shake!

♪ Oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪

♪ It flips your lid when you are the kid ♪

♪ With fairly oddparents ♪♪

Yeah, right.

[cricket chirping distantly]

[Timmy] Ohhh,

are you guys going out again?

We have to, dear.

Your father'’s receiving that big award, remember?

That'’s right, son.

I was voted "Shiniest Hair in the Office."

Besides, your favorite baby-sitter will be here.

Yeah? Who'’s that?

[Mr. Turner] Vicky!

[screams]

[panting]

Hello?

Anybody here?

Hello?

[both] Hey, Timmy!

[shrieks]

I'’m Cosmo.

I'’m Wanda.

[both] And weee'’re...

your fairy godparents!

[shattering]

Do you two have to do that every time you appear?

Let'’s see, what the rule book says.

Hmm, it says here "It'’s optional."

[both] So yes, as a matter of fact, we do!

[laughing]

Well, better brace myself

for another miserable evening.

What'’s the matter, slugger?

Is your dad putting that stuff on his hair again?

[Timmy] No, Vicky'’s coming over.

Well, you seem a bit old to still need a baby-sitter.

Just tell your folks that you are a mature young man.

And should be given the chance

to spend a few hours on your own.

Yeah! That might just work!

After all, they trust me.

[thud]

-love.

[laughing]

[Mr. Turner] Emergency rations, emergency phone numbers,

first aid kit, second aid kit,

third aid kit, emergency flares.

And an emergency satellite link-up to the pentagon.

Are you sure you'’re going to be ok?

Of course, mom! Don'’t worry.

You guys are only a phone call away.

Oh!

[sobbing] Our little boy is growing up.

Oh, there, there, honey.

We can always have another one.

[doorbell rings]

Hellloo!

Here I am! Ready for work!

Where is the little darling?

I missed you!

We'’re going to

have a great evening!

Vicky, we'’re not going to need you tonight, after all.

Timmy'’s staying by himself.

[shattering]

What? Are you kidding?

The twerp couldn'’t do anything by himself if he--

Uh...

Of course.

You'’re right, Mr. Turner.

Timmy'’s perfectly capable of staying on his own.

I'’d better run along now.

And see if there are any needy people in the area

that require my services.

Ta-ta!

[Mrs. Turner] Bye, Timmy. We'’ll be at the banquet hall.

[Timmy] Ok, mom!

Banquet hall.

[all] Party time!

First, we'’ll need some candy.

And some soda!

Don'’t forget the pizza.

And no party would be complete

without its very own...

Conga line!

♪ Ooh-ooh ah-ah ooh-ah ♪

♪ Ooh-ooh ah-ah ooh-ah ♪♪

If that little runt thinks

he'’s going to cheat me out of a night'’s pay,

he'’s got another thing coming.

What the heck is going on down there?

Uh, he'’s not going to get away with this.

[dialing]

And the award for the freshest breath [phone rings]

goes to--

Hello?

[Vicky] [span] Mr. Turner, this is Vicky.[/span]

You'’d better come home right away.

I think there'’s a problem with Timmy.

He'’s-- [car tires screeching]

Hmm, speedy.

Vicky, what'’s the matter?

I think you should see for yourself.

♪♪

Good evening, mater, pater.

How art thou?

Well, I see what the problem is, Vicky.

Timmy, this light is far too dim to be reading in.

You'’ll hurt your eyes, son.

But-- but there was music and dancing,

and revelry.

Vicky, looks like you have an overactive imagination.

Honey, we'’d better be getting back to the banquet.

Ok, now what, Timmy?

Well.

But-- but uh--

[car screeches away]

Woohoo!

Yeah! Ha!

Yeah, cool!

This is impossible.

[crowd cheering]

Yeah-hu, ooh.

Whoopee!

Warp speed, Mr. Sulu!

I'’ll show him.

[camera clicks]

Ha! Proof!

[laughing maniacally]

[dialing]

Mr. Turner? It'’s Vicky.

I think there'’s a problem with Timmy.

You'’d better get home right--

[car tires screeching] Away?

Hmm, nice car.

[Mr. Turner] Vicky, what'’s wrong this time?

Feast your eyes on this!

[Mrs. Turner] Why, that'’s you, dear.

Those are the briefs I got you for St. Patrick'’s day.

[laughing]

So they are.

[clears throat]

What'’s the meaning of this, young lady?

But-- but, but--

Yes, that'’s my tush, now explain.

I'’ll just check on Timmy.

Well, here'’s Timmy.

He'’s just practicing his

transcendental meditation.

[Mr. Turner] Atta boy, just like his old man.

But he-- he'’s--

He'’s fine.

In fact, Vicky,

I think we'’ll have little need of your services in the future.

Timmy seems perfectly capable of taking care of himself.

[gasps] You mean I'’m-- I'’m--

Fired!

[laughing]

Thanks, mom.

I had a great time staying all by myself.

[gasps]

Timmy!

What'’s that in your teeth?

[laughing] [both] Huh?

Uh, gee, mom,

I don'’t know.

I'’ll tell you what it is,

it'’s poor dental hygiene is what it is.

If you can'’t take proper care of your tooth, young man,

then maybe you aren'’t mature enough to stay

by yourself after all.

But-- but--

What is this fascination with my fanny?

Mr. Turner,

allow me to instruct Timmy

in the proper methods of cavity prevention.

[machine revving]

[gasps]

[Mr. Turner] Thanks, Vicky, I don'’t know what we'’d do without you.

My pleasure.

[Timmy grunts]

I won'’t rest until every tooth in this house is spotless.

That could take years.

[laughing]

[Narrator] Horror of unspeakable horrors!

It was yet another of the Chin'’s metallic based

body part themed arch enemies!

The Copper Cranium!

Using his extra metal skull

like a wrecking ball,

he was chipping away at the wall

of the first national bank of Chincinnati.

Use your head, not to ram a bank,

but to stay tuned for more Crimson Chin action!

[Narrator] The Copper Cranium!

Using his extra metal skull

like a wrecking ball,

he was chipping away at the wall

of the first national bank of Chincinnati.

"Are all of your villains this stupid?"

Cleft queried.

"Only the stupid ones!" Barked the mandible of might.

Speaking of stupid,

it would be stupid of you

not to stay tuned for more Chin-o-rific action!

[heart pounding] ♪♪

[bus screeches away]

Whoopee! Only eight years of school to go.

At least I'’ve got my fairy godparents

to cheer me up.

Yessiree, it sure gives me the warm fuzzies

to know they'’ll be around forever!

Bye, Timmy. We'’re outta here.

Almost ready.

[clangs]

I'’m nothing without my makeup.

[laughing]

You'’re leaving me?

That'’s right, Timmy.

According to the rules, every years,

each godparent must get their license renewed

at the godparent academy.

As you can see, ours are due to expire.

You mean I'’ll be godparentless?

Just for a little while, Sugar.

In the meantime--

We'’ve contacted the fairy godparent agency

and they'’ll be sending over a replacement any minute.

[knocking on door]

[gasps] It'’s almost like I'’m psychic!

Agency sent me.

Cool! Another magic dude!

What'’s your cool magic name?

Voltron? Captain Zapula?

Mesmero?

I'’m Jeff. Don'’t touch the bell.

You seem a bit short to be a godparent.

Look, I'’ve got the wings, I'’ve got the wand.

What more do you want?

All right, you guys. You can go.

But hurry back.

Ok, Timmy.

Wish us luck.

[coughing]

Well, now that Mr. and Mrs. Hilarious are gone,

what say we raid the fridge?

My treat.

Wait, you'’re supposed to grant my wishes, remember?

Oh, yeah, right, I'’m a godparent.

Ok, what do you want?

Hmm.

How about a new toy?

♪♪

[burps] [ding]

Cool!

Yeah, uh, toys are my specialty.

How about we go to the beach?

That'’ll be fun.

Okey, dokey.

[coughs] [ding]

Knock yourself out, kid.

A lousy pail and shovel.

What'’s the deal?

Yeah, well, uh,

you know how crowded the beach is this time of year.

Uh, just get in the bathtub

and pretend you'’re at the beach.

Just use your imagination, Jimmy.

Timmy!

Mike.

Timmy!

Frankie.

Timmy!

Billy.

Timmy!

Georgie.

Timmy!

Johnny.

Timmy!

Jackie.

Timmy!

Putzie.

Timmy!

Dominic.

Timmy!

Purcell.

Timmy!

Frankie.

Timmy!

[helicopter passing overhead]

Ah, the godparent academy!

Well, it shouldn'’t be too bad.

We just take a couple of easy tests

and get right back to Timmy.

No sweat.

[Jorgen] Did somebody say "sweat?"

[blasting]

[footsteps pounding]

[German accent] Welcome to the Fairy Academy.

I am drill sergeant Jorgen Von Strangle

and these are my muscles.

I really should start working out.

I am here to make men out of all of you.

Even the women?

Yes.

So, you'’re a fairy godparent?

Uh, well, where are your wings?

Too girly, jet pack.

Uh, well then, where'’s your magic wand?

Too wimpy.

I have this now.

Any more questions?

Now, we go on the , mile run

through the desert of broken glass.

Go now!

[chomping]

Hey!

Aren'’t you supposed to be doing some magic.

Hey, I changed the channel without getting up, didn'’t I?

Duh! You used the remote.

Ok, ok. What do you want?

How about a chocolate shake?

[burps]

[ding]

Hey! This is a jack-in-the-box!

I said I wanted a milkshake.

Yeah, well, uh,

it'’s a milk jack-in-the-shake-box.

Uh, shake.

[slurping]

Ah, thanks for the shake, kid.

I was parched.

Don'’t mention it.

How about a new robot computer game?

I don'’t know much about computers but...

here goes.

What'’s this?

Uh, well. It'’s a robot, see,

and it, uh...

fits into the computer like this.

Voila!

Oh, great!

Can you at least make a fire extinguisher?

[burps]

We'’re doomed, aren'’t we?

Uh, yeah?

As a reward for doing so well,

you get to do push-ups.

That doesn'’t sound so bad.

million, now!

[both] One, two, three, four--

Can'’t you do anything besides make toys?

I can cry, watch.

[crying]

[both] million and one. million and two.

My Timmy-senses are tingling.

Something'’s wrong with Timmy.

[foot pounds]

Where do you fairies think you are going?

Sorry, but Timmy always comes first.

[Jorgen groans]

Ooph.

Now could you please validate our new licenses?

[both] We'’re free!

Boy, am I glad to see you guys!

I wish the fire was out!

[sleigh bells jingling] [wind blows]

[Santa Claus] Ho-ho, holy cow!

What'’s going on here?

[all] Santa Claus!

[shrieks]

It'’s him! Get him away!

Santa!

What are you doing here?

It'’s summer.

[laughs]Well, Timmy,

I'’ve lost something,

and I thought it might be--

Ah! There you are!

[laughs]

Has he been posing as a fairy again?

[laughing]

Naughty, naughty.

Why, he works for me.

He'’s just a very

lazy wayward elf.

I knew it.

That'’s why he could only make toys.

Come along now, little elf.

My name is Jeff.

Jeff!

I have an identity! An identity!

I am not just another one of your pointy-eared drones!

Yes, you are.

Tell others about me.

Don'’t forget what you saw here today!

Tell my story! Tell my story!

[all] Come, be one of us, Jeff.

Noo!

[screaming] Nooo!

Now that you guys have your new licenses,

do you think you could help me dry out my room?

You got it, Timmy.

[eagle squealing]

Nice job!

[imitates Jorgen] Guess I don'’t know my own strength.

[laughing]

[imitates Jorgen laughing]

♪♪

[Narrator] "Are all of your villains this stupid?"

Cleft queried.

"Only the stupid ones!"

Barked the mandible of might.

And with a quick game of rock-paper-scissors

to see who would dispatch the copper-headed creep.

[drum roll]

Ha!

"Paper beats rock."

But will the Crimson Chin

be able to b*at the Copper Cranium?

Stay tuned!

[Narrator] And with a quick game of rock-paper-scissors

to see who would dispatch the copper-headed creep.

[drum roll]

Ha!

"Paper beats rock."

The Chin was off!

Stay tuned.

The Crimson Chin and the Copper Cranium

will go head to chin,

right after this!

♪♪

Oh, drat!

Uh, what'’s wrong, Timmy?

Ah, it'’s terrible!

My tooth is loose!

Hey! You'’re my fairy godparents!

Can you guys fix it so it won'’t fall out?

Whoa! Sorry, Timmy,

but that'’s Tooth fairy territory.

Ooooh! The Tooth fairy.

Why is she the most popular fairy?

[Cosmo] What do you expect?

She puts money under people'’s pillows.

Hate to lose this tooth.

It made me famous.

Wow!

Must be nice to have all those awards.

We'’ve never won anything.

Message for Cosmo and Wanda.

"Roses are red, violets are blue,

"sugar is sweet...

"and you guys have been nominated

"for outstanding god parenting

at this year'’s Zappy Awards."

That doesn'’t rhyme.

Who cares?!

Did you hear that, Wanda?

[both] We'’re up for a Zappy!

We'’ve never been nominated for anything before!

Why not?

Well, Timmy, our godparent career

has been speckled with, uh--

What'’s the word I'’m looking for, dearest?

Failures.

Yeah! Yeah!

That'’s it! Uh, that'’s it.

It says here that I have to come with you.

[both] What are we waiting for?

[cheers and applause]

Thanks for watching F-TV, Fairy Television.

I'’m Wizzy.

I'’m your host,

and I'’m outside live at this year'’s Zappy awards!

Yes, sir, there'’s certainly no shortage

of magic celebrities here tonight!

I still don'’t see--

Wait! There he is!

The toughest fairy in the universe!

Drill instructor from the fairy academy,

Jorgen Von Strangle!

[audience booing]

Hello, tiny little creatures.

Uh, hello, Jorgen.

This is Timmy, the boy we watch over.

And this is Winston.

He'’s the boy I watch over.

Make a wish.

Now!

I wish I could see the age of !

[crying]

Ha-ha.

He always makes that one.

[Announcer] Fairies and magic folk,

here is your host for this year'’s Zappy awards,

Billy Crystalball!

Good evening!

I'’m Billy Crystalball

and I want to show you

how to get "ahead" in life.

Like this!

[laughter]

Oh, I just made that up! Don'’t worry.

I got million of '’em!

[sh**ting]

[audience gasping]

Start the show.

Do it now!

[gulps]

And now the nominees for best costume design.

[Audience] Ooh!

Ah!

[audience booing]

And the Zappy goes to--

[growls]

[laughs] What do you know?

Jorgen Von Strangle!

[audience booing]

Thank you.

[host groans]

You like me, you really like me.

You must like me!

[audience booing]

[audience cheering]

And now the award for best magical appearance.

[audience exclaiming]

[audience cheering]

[blasting]

Congratulations.

Ha-ha.

[thud]

I don'’t want to thank anybody but me.

What? Is everybody afraid of that guy?

[both] Yes!

Oh.

And now the award for best overall godparenting.

For this award, each child must explain

why they love their fairy godparents.

And the nominees are...

Sally and Stan.

Why do you love me, Sally?

I don'’t know.

[ka-ching]

Oh! Now I remember!

I love you, Stanley!

[audience cheering]

[Host] Jorgen and his boy, Winston.

Why do you love me, Winston?

[shivering] Because you tell me to?

Because I tell you to what?

Because you tell me to, sir!

Congratulations, Jorgen.

[audience exclaiming]

Oh, uh, Timmy.

Yeah.

Why do you love your fairy godparents?

Why? What do you mean, why?

They'’re my best friends.

[audience gasping]

[Man in audience] Friends?

It'’s like the partridge family.

Well, they make me feel safe.

They make me feel special.

They make me feel loved.

They may make a few mistakes,

but they'’re my pals.

And I love '’em more than anything.

[both] Oooh, Timmy!

[crying] Oh! Nah.

Guess what, Timmy?

Your godparents win!

[Audience] Yaaay, Timmy!

Congratulations!

[Jorgen] I beg your pardon,

but I think you have something that belongs to me.

No way, dude!

You'’re not getting this award!

Right, guys?

[both] Uh, yeah, right.

[roaring]

No!

[both] Timmy!

[grunting]

Ow!

[audience gasping]

[audience cheering]

[both] The Tooth fairy!

[sniffs]

Minty! Not medicine-y!

[gasps]

What'’s the meaning of--

[camera clicks]

This?

You weren'’t supposed to lose this tooth for six days,

four hours, and three minutes.

Well, ma'’am, he made it fall out.

Hi, honey.

[all] Honey?!

He'’s got nice teeth.

Jorgen, darling,

how many times have I told you

how I hate being seen in public,

[shouting] without my makeup!

[laughs]

Oof!

Now then, I think you should apologize

for knocking this young man'’s tooth out.

Yes, my little bicuspid.

Eh, Timmy, is there anything me or my muscles

can do to make it up to you?

Well, can I have my tooth back?

Oh, sorry.

But I have a very strict no return policy.

Timmy, take mine!

They'’re large, shiny, and powerful!

Wow, thanks!

Congratulations on your award, you two.

[both] Thanks, Timmy!

But we didn'’t really care if we won or not.

How come?

Because our real reward is just being with you.

Aw, thanks, guys.

[Mrs. Turner] Here'’s your pancakes, Timmy.

[Timmy] Thanks, mom!

[crunches]

[chomping]

Hmm, must be all that fluoride in the water.

[gulps]

[Narrator] The Chin was off!

Finished?

Already?

But I just started narrating!

[crumbling]

Well, that was easy.

Perhaps too easy.

What are these villains up to?

Do the Chin and Cleft suspect

that there may be some master plan

involved in all this?

And why can'’t Cleft

ever win rock-paper-scissors?!

♪♪