07x15 - Old Man and the C-/Balance of Flour

[bunniefuu]

- ♪ Timmy is an average kid ♪

♪ That no one understands ♪

♪ Mom and dad and vicky always giving him commands ♪

- Bed, twerp!

- ♪ The doom and gloom up in his room ♪

♪ Is broken instantly ♪

♪ By his magic little fish who grant his every wish ♪

♪ 'Cause in reality ♪

♪ They are his oddparents ♪

♪ Fairly oddparents ♪

- Wands and wings.

- Float-y crown-y things.

- ♪ Oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪

♪ Really mod, pea pod, buff bod, hot rod ♪

- Obtuse, rubber goose, green moose, guava juice,

Giant snake, birthday cake, large fries, chocolate shake!

- ♪ Oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪

♪ It flips your lid when you are the kid ♪

♪ With fairly oddparents ♪

- Yeah, right.

[Drumroll]

Male announcer: it's time to play

Are you brighter than a th grader?

And now, here's your host, wink winkydink.

- Hello, america.

Let's take attendance and see if tonight's contestant

Is in class.

Mr. Timmy's dad?

- Here, mr. Tinkerblink.

- Guys, I'm really worried.

- Why? The whole country is watching,

And now everyone will see exactly how smart

Your father really is.

- That's what I'm worried about.

- Here's your first question, mr. Timmy's dad:

Who was the first president of the united states?

- Sea cucumber.

- Wow. That couldn't have been any more wrong.

- Who was the first man on the moon?

- Sea cucumber.

- Wow, super wrong again.

Third question: what kind of cucumber lives in the sea?

- Neil armstrong.

- Oh, I'm sorry, mr. Timmy's dad.

It looks like you've missed every question.

You're not brighter than a sixth grader at all.

[Laughter]

- Eeh...eeh...eh.

- Look on the bright side, dear.

At least you got a lifetime supply of macaroni.

- Dad, I have a question.

- Sea cucumber.

- No, dad, my question is,

How come you're not as bright as a sixth grader?

- Because I dropped out of school in the fifth grade.

- You can do that?

- Timmy, I was young and naive.

I thought I was too cool for school.

- Why'd you think that?

- People told me.

[Bell rings]

- Wow, turner, you're too cool for school.

- I am?

[Peppy instrumental music]

♪ ♪

I am.

- Wow, trash can, you're too cool for school.

- Since melvin was a genius, I knew I had to heed his words.

- So what you're saying is, I can just stop going to school?

- Definitely not, young man.

Honey, you may be a great husband and macaroni provider,

But you have to set an example for your son.

You know what you have to do, right?

- Sea cucumber?

- No. First thing tomorrow,

You're going back to finish school.

[Bell rings]

- I gotta say, guys, I may hate school...

- But... - No, that was it.

- I thought you were going to say something about

How proud you are that your dad's

Going back to finish his education.

- Yeah, I suppose I am kinda proud of my dad

For going back to school.

- Oh, I'm glad to hear you tell your pencils that, son.

- Dad? You're in my class?

- Well, this is the grade I was in when I dropped out,

So this is where I'm starting again.

[Grunts]

It's like I never left.

- I'm proud of you, dad.

- Thanks, timmy.

That means more to me than anything.

- Hooray!

Another turner I can humiliate.

Good thing I used mother's medicine money

To develop my dual "f" blaster.

- Geh! - Gah!

- Nice try, mr. Crocker,

But I'm going to finish school and make my son proud,

Even if it kills him.

Walk it off, son.

Oh, here, rub some macaroni on it.

- Ugh!

- And here's some for you, mr. Crocker.

- Macaroni, for me?

No one's ever given me anything that didn't require an antidote.

Thanks, turner.

- Hey, I'm turner.

- Not anymore.

From now on, you're becky.

The name turner belongs to my new favorite student:

Timmy's dad.

[Bell rings]

- And that's why green eggs go well with ham.

- Thought-provoking with a touch of pathos.

"A"!

- So in conclusion,

Grandfather clocks are not made out of real grandfathers.

- I wish I'd known that a year ago.

Tick tock. Ticktock, tick...ehh...tock.

- And so you can see,

Sticks and stones may break your bones,

But names leave psychological wounds that never heal.

[Cheers]

- My dad may be the most popular student in class,

But at least I still have my friends.

- I can watch tv whenever I want.

I don't have a bedtime, and I can drive.

- Becky, your dad gave us macaroni

And told us how neat it is to be a grown-up.

- He is too cool for school.

- You know what goes great with macaroni?

Ice cream, my treat.

- Oooh, sorry, becky, looks like we're out of room.

Why don't you walk through rattlesnake canyon

And meet us there?

- Wow, turner,

You're still too cool for school.

- I am?

I am!

[Tires squealing]

- [Coughing]

Oh, no.

My dad's not falling for that old line again, is he?

[Peppy instrumental music]

♪ ♪

[Both screaming]

[All screaming]

- Turner.

Turner?

- Skipping school with timmy's hoodlum father

Sure is cool.

- Yeah, melvin the genius janitor was right.

- Hey, you kids should be in school.

- Gah! It's the fuzz.

b*at it.

[Peppy instrumental music]

♪ ♪

- Honey, you should be in school,

And you just toilet-papered your own house.

- Gah! Crazy old mrs. Turner saw us.

Run.

- Timmy, mr. Crocker called.

Your dad is flunking out of school,

And we're out of toilet paper.

I don't know what we're gonna do.

Either I have to get a job or you have to get a job,

Which means you have to get a job.

Toilet paper isn't cheap, you know.

- Crazy old mrs. Turner has a point.

- Guys, I don't want to get a job.

Working is the only thing worse than learning.

I gotta find a way to get my dad back in school.

- Forget it, becky.

Your father was my star student

Until he stopped coming to class and broke my heart.

- I'm really sorry, mr. Crocker, but there's gotta be some way

My dad could still pass the fifth grade.

- Well, there is one way.

He could take the big super test...

But no one's ever survived that.

Besides, I'd have to okay it, and I don't see why I should.

- I'll give you dad's lifetime supply of macaroni.

- I'm no math whiz,

But that would last... A lifetime.

One big super test coming up.

- A big super test?

That's for nerds.

[Peppy instrumental music]

- Why is there a jukebox in my kitchen?

- Dad, listen to me.

You went back to school to finish your education

And make me proud.

- Eh, education's for dweebs.

Come on, guys.

Let's go burn some rubber on crazy old mrs. Turner's lawn.

- I'm right here.

[Tires squealing]

- Dad, don't you see?

You're making the same mistake in school again.

You say you want to make me proud,

But by the way you're behaving,

I'm not proud of you at all.

- You're...not...proud of me?

[Sobbing]

Oh, becky, you're right.

What am I doing?

I do want to finish school and make you proud,

But there's no way I could pass the big super test now.

- Sure there is.

You only need a c-minus pass.

I'm sure we can do it.

[Sobbing and snorting]

We?

[Dramatic instrumental music]

♪ ♪

Trapezoid, rhombus, parallelogram...

[Grunting]

Argon, manganese.

- [Grunting]

- [Grunting]

- Argh! Argh! Argh!

- Ah-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh.

Luxembourg...

Swaziland.

[Grunting]

Both: yeah! Whoo-hoo!

- Shh.

Male announcer: it's time for the big super test.

Please welcome your host, wink winkydink.

- Hello.

I'm wink I'll-host-anything- for-a-buck winkydink.

Now let's meet our contestant-- I mean student:

Mr. Timmy's dad.

[Cheers]

Today we're playing to see if mr. Timmy's dad

Is smart enough to come back to school

And finish the fifth grade.

First question: what was the last state to join the union?

[Buzzer buzzing] - hawaii.

- Very good.

Now, what's the square root of ?

- Seven. - Excellent.

Next question--

- Lake erie. - Hey, that's right.

- , Abraham lincoln,

The louisiana purchase, belgian waffles.

- Wow, you're right. You're right.

You're right. You're right.

- Napoleon bonaparte, animal farm,., Jupiter,

And the dish ran away with the spoon.

- Hey, those questions aren't even on the test.

Well done.

I taught him everything he knows.

Timmy's dad, you've done so well,

You've actually passed the fifth grade...

And the sixth and the seventh, eighth, ninth.

Let's put it this way:

If you answer this last question correctly,

You'll win your high school diploma.

- Eeeeh!

- And I'll even throw in another lifetime supply of macaroni.

- Come on, timmy's dad!

- Okay, here it is: the final question.

What undersea vegetable would taste great

In an undersea salad?

[Timer ticking]

[Teeth chattering]

[Squeaking]

- Hmm...arrrgh... Grrr.

- Come on, dad, think.

You know this.

- Uhh...uhh...

[Gasps] oooh!

[Buzzer buzzing] sea cucumber!

- Yes, that's correct.

[Cheers and applause]

Congratulations, timmy's dad.

You've finished every grade of school and have graduated.

- Congratulations, dad.

I'm so proud of you.

You did it.

- No, we did it.

I couldn't have done it without you, son.

Now let's go celebrate.

[Laughter]

Ah! It's crazy old mrs. Turner.

Run.

- You guys are too cool for school.

- Oh, shut it, melvin.

All: argh! Auugh! Ahhh!

- Welcome to the von strangle family bakery, timmy,

Where everything is magically delicious.

You can even eat the walls.

- No, you can't, cosmo.

- Oh, then you better take me to the hospital.

Ahhhh.

- Jorgen, you work here?

- That is right, turner.

You see, in addition to being supreme guardian of fairy world,

I am also a minimum wage stooge at my grandmother's bakery.

- Boom! Boom!

- Hard to believe we are related, huh?

Nana boom boom, these are my friends...

And timmy turner.

- You want to kickbox for a strudel?

- Uh, no, thanks, but those brownies look good.

Don't mind if I do.

- Hands off.

- Agh! Ohh! Ugh!

- Those are my award-winning extreme fairy-cherry brownies.

They are not for the customers.

- Nana made them for tomorrow's big annual bake-off

Between the fairies and the anti-fairies.

And by the way, that is an exploding pie.

[Loud expl*si*n]

- Poof-poof.

More.

Good.

Moooore.

- Poof, you're not supposed to eat those.

- Oh, come on, they can't be that good.

- Mooore.

Good.

Moooore.

- Ah, ha-ha-ha.

- We have a brownie breach.

- Ahh, ah, ha-ha.

Ahh-ha-ha.

- Ahh, it is anti-cosmo in a clever giant cupcake disguise.

- Cupcake?

Ignoramus, I'm a giant frosted scone.

Ahhhh!

- That was close.

If that fiend had escaped with the brownie,

He could have deciphered the recipe,

A recipe that is kept in a secret vault in the basement,

Which I guess is no longer a secret,

Since I just told you about it.

- Dum-dum.

- Poof, that was the last brownie.

Now we'll have to make another batch for the bake-off tomorrow.

[Burps]

- I'm gonna get poof to a brownie-free zone.

Cosmo, timmy, don't do anything stupid while I'm gone.

- Why does she always say that to us?

- I don't know.

Now let's do something stupid.

Poof me up another one of those brownies

I'm not supposed to have.

- Sorry, timmy, they're magic brownies.

I can only poof them up by using the secret recipe.

- Then take me down to that basement vault,

So I can get the recipe.

- That sounds perfectly stupid.

Getting that brownie recipe's gonna be a piece of cake.

Wait a minute.

That means getting a cake recipe would be a piece of brownie.

Hold me, timmy, I'm freaking myself out.

- Retinal scan failed.

You are not nana boom boom.

Prepare to be annihilated.

- Ahhh!

Cosmo, you need to make me look like nana boom boom.

- Retinal scan match.

Nana boom boom identified.

Prepare for brownie-to-brain download.

Ahhhh!

Ahhhh!

- Timmy, are you okay?

Yeah, I'm fine...

Cups of fairy flour, golden goose eggs,

A dash of troll dandruff.

Whoa, the recipe got zapped into my head.

- It looks as though timmy turner

Has what we came for,

And you mocked me for buying x-ray glasses

From the back of a comic book.

- Why do we need them brownies anyway?

We can win that bake-off with my roadkill critter cake.

- No offense, dear,

But no one wants a dessert that hunts mice in a sewer.

We need that brownie recipe.

- Brownie, brownie, brownie, brownie.

- No, I don't have any brownies.

How about a nice flavor-free teething biscuit instead?

- More brownie.

[Growling]

Brownie.

- Where have you two been?

- Brownies.

- Well, we weren't in the bakery vault

Stealing the super-secret brownie recipe,

If that's what you're implying.

- You stole the recipe?

- More.

- It's just a recipe for a stupid bake-off.

It's not the end of the world.

- Yes, it is.

Timmy, thousands of years ago, there was an epic battle

Between the fairies and the anti-fairies

To determine who got to have fairy godchildren.

After years of horrible w*r,

We decided to settle things the only logical way...

- With an annual bake-off.

- Nana boom boom's brownies win every year,

But if the anti-fairies get that recipe,

They'll win the bake-off and inherit all the god kids,

Including you, sport.

You're in terrible danger

Until you return that recipe to the vault.

- Brownies.

- Yeah, there's a problem with that.

I accidentally downloaded it into my head.

- Hi, tony.

We've come to suck out the contents of your brain...

I mean vacuum your room.

- We're not evil imposters.

- That's the last time I order mom-and-dad costumes

From the back of a comic book.

Now, hold still, while I painfully suck

The recipe...and your brain.. Out of your ear canal.

- Don't worry, timmy, we'll save you.

Timmy, save us.

- Ahhhhh!

- Thanks, jorgen.

- Don't mention it.

Now, hold still, while I remove your head.

- Ahhhhh!

- There must be a less violent way to get

The fairy-cherry brownie recipe out of timmy's brain.

- The fairy-cherry brownie recipe is in his brain?

Turner, if you have the recipe, we must get you to a safe house.

- Cool safe house.

- Thanks, I ordered it from the back of a comic book.

It is completely magic-proof.

No one can poof in or out.

Turner, we must keep you here

Until the fairies win the bake-off.

- This whole thing is crazy.

Why would you decide the fate of fairy god kids with a bake-off?

- Well, we tried tiddlywinks, but it was too painful.

Both: my eye!

- Anyway, the bake-off worked out great for fairy world.

Nothing is as delicious as nana's brownies.

- Well, nothing except my bread-free toast.

I love the bread-free taste.

- Anyway, toodles, and don't do anything stupid.

- Why is everyone looking at me?

Who wants meat-free meatballs?

[Door clanging]

- Open up.

- That was quick, jorgen.

- I am not jorgen.

- Arrggh.

- Ahhhh!

[All screaming]

- Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha!

- Ahhh!

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh!

[Both cackling]

- We're in trouble.

The anti-fairies got timmy,

Which means they have the recipe.

- Relax, guys.

I finally did something not stupid.

I had a feeling the anti-fairies might track us down,

So I got cosmo to do the old switcheroo.

- Wait a minute.

If you're here, then the anti-fairies have cosmo.

[Thunder booming]

- Have you found anything in his brain yet?

- I haven't even found his brain.

- I'd look a little lower.

- Found it, and I think I got somethin'.

It's a recipe, a-hoo.

- The brownies, yes.

Print the recipe and start baking.

- Add golden goose eggs and a dash of troll dandruff.

- Hurry, nana.

The bake-off is about to begin.

And somebody get this poor troll some medicated shampoo.

- This is fairy hart for the fairy channel.

I'm live at the -thousandth annual magical bake-off,

Which will decide the fate of fairy godchildren everywhere.

[Timer ticking]

[Timer dings]

- We're going to make it.

- Mooore.

- We are not going to make it.

Wanda, don't you ever feed that kid?

Nana boom boom, quick, make another batch.

- Our bake-off judge, mother nature, has just arrived.

[Cheers and applause]

- Welcome, mother nature.

It's a beautiful day.

- [Laughs]

Thank you, I made it myself.

- With the anti-fairies having submitted their entry,

We're still waiting for nana boom boom von strangle

To arrive with the fairies' dessert.

- This is it, dear.

As soon as mother nature tastes timmy's brownies,

Every fairy godchild will be ours.

[Timer ticking]

[Timer dings]

- The brownies are done.

Now let's get to that bake-off.

- Time is almost up for the fairies.

It looks like they're going to be disqualified.

- Boom! Boom!

- I stand corrected.

Nana boom boom has arrived with her entry.

Ladies and gentlemen, the judging is about to begin.

- There's nothing here.

It's not nice to fool mother nature.

Both: ahhhh!

- What have you done, woman?

There's nothing on that plate.

- Don't blame me.

I followed that recipe exactly, a-hoo.

- Yeah, it's my recipe for bread-free toast:

Cups flour, cups water, minutes in oven.

[All gasping]

- Ahhhh.

Ahhh-ahh-ahhhhhh.

Moooore.

Raaah.

[Together] wait!

- Ooh.

More...good...more.

[Thunder booming]

All: ahhh!

- [Cackling]

Uh, I mean, I declare the winners

Of this year's bake-off to be...the fairies.

[Cheers and applause]

[Fireworks exploding]

- Bthhhbt!

- Good work, turner.

Thanks to your quick thinking and cosmo's empty brain,

Victory is ours.

Even though you selfishly broke into my vault

And stole my recipe, you deserve a reward.

Here, have some pie.

- Awesome, your pie is the b*mb.

[Loud expl*si*n]

- Boom! Boom!