09x01 - Fairly OddPet

[bunniefuu]

- ♪ Timmy is an average kid

♪ That no one understands

♪ Mom and dad and vicky always giving him commands ♪

- Bed, twerp!

♪ The doom and gloom up in his room ♪

♪ Is broken instantly

♪ By his magic little fish who grant his every wish ♪

♪ 'Cause in reality

♪ They are his oddparents

♪ Fairly oddparents

- Wands and wings.

- Float-y crown-y things.

♪ Oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪

♪ Really mod, pea pod, buff bod, hot rod ♪

- Obtuse, rubber goose, green moose, guava juice,

Giant snake, birthday cake, large fries, chocolate shake!

- ♪ Oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪

♪ It flips your lid when you are the kid ♪

♪ With fairly oddparents

- Yeah, right.

[Various animal sounds]

- You know what I just realized?

- That your fly is open?

I only noticed 'cause I changed into your scooter seat.

Sometimes even I marvel at the terrible choices I make.

- No. I realized everyone in dimmsdale has a pet but me.

Mr. Crocker has a parrot.

- Fairies!

- Fairies!

- Fairies! - Fairies!

- Do I really sound like that?

No wonder I don't have a girlfriend.

Why am I in a tree?

- Even my dad has a pet rock.

- Okay, rocky. This is dinkelberg's scent.

Sic him!

- [Sniffs]

- Ah!

- Hee hee!

- Bad rocky!

Oh, wait, this is timmy's shirt.

Gee, that's weird. It's : and there's a full moon.

- It's just not fair.

Why am I the only person in dimmsdale

Who doesn't have a pet?

- Timmy, I know you want a pet,

But let's face it,

Your track record with animals is pretty bad.

- Oh, really?

I'd like to see some documented, videotaped proof of that.

- This is chet ubetcha with documented videotaped proof

That timmy turner is a terrible pet owner.

Welcome to part five of our -part mini-series:

[Span]timmy turner: [span] world's worst pet owner.[/Span][/span]

He fed his pet chicken scrambled eggs.

[Chicken clucking]

- Oh, my gosh! That could have been her baby!

- He gave his pet mouse a pet cat to play with.

- Oh, my gosh. I really want scrambled eggs right now!

- He took his pet snail on a field trip

To the dimmsdale salt factory.

- Ah!

- Now I want salt on those scrambled eggs!

- Face it, sport. You're just not

Responsible enough to have a pet.

And there's no way your parents will let you have one.

- We'll see about that.

I'm gonna ask them if I can have a dog,

And I'm sure they're gonna say yes!

- No, timmy. You can't have a dog.

- How'd you know I was gonna ask that?

- Mother's intuition.

Also, I heard you talking to your fish,

Who seem to totally understand you.

- Come on, dad. Help me out.

- No can do, timmy.

If I agree with your mother, she gives me treats!

Bark! Bark! Bark! [Munching]

- Good dad. - [Laughs]

- Ugh.

I can't believe my parents don't think

I'm trustworthy enough to have a dog.

I'm gonna prove them wrong

By being deceitful and underhanded.

- Is there any point

In appealing to your better judgment?

- My whos-a-ma-what now?

- That's what I thought. What's your plan?

- Well, my mom is allergic to cats.

If you poof up a bunch of them,

My dad will let me get a dog to chase them away.

I wish for a house full of cats.

- Mmm, mmm.

[Cats meowing]

- Ah--ah--ah--

Choo! [Cats screeching]

Boy, these carrot sticks went right to my hips.

And my hips went right to my face.

[Screams]

- [Screams]

Timmy!

There's a monster in the kitchen!

We'll need a dog to get rid of it.

You go and get one and I'll dive face-first

Into this barrel of push pins I stole from work.

[Yells] ow!

Sometimes, even I marvel at the terrible choices I make.

[Yells]

- Well, the cat thing didn't work out quite how I planned it,

But let's go get me a dog!

[Heavenly voices]

[Various animal noises]

- Whoa! Why'd you bring me to the fairy world pet store?

- Because you're banned from all the regular pet stores.

- Welcome to the fairy world pet store.

- Jorgen, you're working at the pet store?

- I'm filling in for my niece, ginny von strangle.

She had her regional soccer championship.

I should probably be there,

But there's no way I'm passing up $ an hour.

- Jorgen, I'm here to get a dog.

[Crazed barking]

[Laughs]

Hey, what about this guy? He's super cute and friendly.

- You don't want that one. He's not too bright.

- That's not a nice thing to say about the dog.

- I was warning the dog about you.

- Sit, boy.

Speak.

- What do you want me to say?

I know a lot of words 'cause I just ate a dictionary.

- Oh, my gosh! It's a talking dog!

I gotta have him!

- I don't know, turner. Sparky is a lot of work.

Over the years, he has been brought back to the pet store

More times than cosmo.

- [Chomping]

- Sometimes, I just get overwhelmed.

- One day I will catch you, butt! [Chomping]

- Please, jorgen? I know I can take care of him.

Please?

- All right, turner. You can have the dog,

But not because I trust you.

My shift is almost up, and I want to hit the mall.

I work the yogurt store there,

And there's no way I'm passing up $ an hour.

- You're my new owner?

That makes you number . You wanna see the other ?

That's barbara and don.

They moved away in the middle of the night.

This is bob. He went on vacation and never came back.

This is celeste. She played dead until I left the house.

- I hate to interrupt this stroll down loser lane,

But I've got to clean up some magic turtle poop.

Just to clarify, the turtle is not magic. The poop is.

Here's the leash, collar, and magic doggy treats.

[Dog barking]

- [Laughs] yeah! Whoa!

Who-oah! [Laughs]

[Laughing]

[Thud] ugh!

[Laughs]

Aw, we're gonna have so much fun together!

- One more thing, turner-- magic flea powder.

You must put it on sparky every four hours.

- You got it, jorgen.

- Good luck with the moron.

- Thanks!

- Once again, talking to the dog.

- Well, sparky, this is your new home.

- I like it. I like you. I like everything.

I like this chew toy.

- [Laughs]

- I'm so glad you're here, sparky.

So what other tricks do you know?

- Lots. Wait here.

[Whooshing]

[Revving engine]

[Tires screeching]

- Oh, wow. He's good.

[Laughter]

[All laughing]

- Psst, timmy.

I'm not a lamp, I'm your father. Is that the dog?

- Yeah, this is sparky. Uh, what are you doing?

- I'm hiding from the monster.

It's in the kitchen sneezing and trying to make me lasagna.

- Ah-choo!

- [Shudders] sic him, sparky!

[Cats screeching]

- [Screaming]

- There's something weird about that dog.

I know! He drives that motorcycle like a monkey,

And that monster screams like a girl!

- He's just a regular dog, dad. Watch.

Go fetch the paper, boy!

- Huh? Hoo hoo!

[Chomp]

- I'm frightened!

- No, sparky, the newspaper!

- [Chomps]

[Humming]

- You better not be doing the crossword!

- You owe me $..

- Sorry, dad's not home. I'm a lamp.

[Squeaking]

- [Giggles]

- Hey, twerp!

I just got in a fight with my boyfriend,

Justin jake ashton, moody teen dream

With three first names, and I'm gonna take it out on you!

- [Screams]

- [Growls]

- Ah!

[Screams]

- I protected you 'cause I love you,

And because she scared the crud outta me.

- Whoa. You're the best dog ever.

- There's a barrel of push pins down here!

[Laughter]

- Timmy, you were right.

It was a good idea for you to get a dog.

It's been a great day for everyone.

- Except vicky.

- Okay, boys, time for bed.

- You're a great dog, sparky.

Why would anyone ever bring you back to the pet store?

- Technically, they drop me off in front.

They're scared of the magic turtle poop.

[Alarm beeping]

- Good morning, sparky.

At least, I think it's morning. How'd you sleep?

- Oh, magic dogs don't sleep.

I was up all night doing dog stuff.

I chased my tail, did a little digging.

- Aah!

Whoa! What happened?

- I buried the house.

I told you I did a little digging.

You wanna play fetch?

- No! Cosmo, wanda!

Guys, sparky buried the house.

Can you poof us back to the surface?

That's better. Everything's fixed.

- Timmy! Everything's broken!

- [Gasps]

- Look what your dog did to the house!

He chewed up everything and carpeted the hardwood floor!

Now I can't hear when the monster's coming!

- Sparky, why'd you do that?

- Dogs chew, and I got a great deal on the carpet.

- [Gasps] oh, my gosh! Your dog can talk?

- Uh, no, he can't. He just barks funny.

- I do. I bark funny.

Werf! Werf!

See? Who does that?

- Timmy, you're gonna have to clean up this mess.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go do my crossword puzzle.

Oh, great, sparky already did it.

[Gasps] he did the jumble too!

[Commotion outside] - whoa!

What's going on out there?

[Police sirens and yelling]

- Aah!

[Screaming and sobbing]

- Look, timmy, everyone's playing in the holes I dug.

- You did all this?

- Yeah, I was really in the zone last night.

- Guys, sparky destroyed the city!

I need you to poof it back to normal.

- We can't. Sparky buried our wands.

- Like I said, in the zone.

- You really were. I gotta party with you sometime.

Oh, look, a new problem. Sparky's got fleas.

Right on, man!

- Timmy, did you remember

To give sparky his magic flea powder?

- Of course, I did...n't.

Anyway, what's the big deal?

- Timmy, these are magic fleas.

If they bite humans, bad things will happen.

- Like what?

- [Growls]

[Chomping]

- [Growling]

- Oh, like that. That is bad.

- [Growling]

- Werf! Werf! Werf! - Werf! Werf! Werf! Werf!

- Uh-oh!

We're gonna need a lot of crossword puzzles.

All: werf! Werf! Werf!

[All screaming]

[Barking and growling]

[All screaming]

- Phew, that was close!

Sparky, you gotta find the wands you buried.

Come on, boy. Fetch the wands!

That's not a wand, that's wanda!

That's a blonde!

- How you doin'?

- [Screams]

- Ow! I was talking to the lamp.

- That's our neighbor, juan!

- Weird day, eh?

[Snarling and growling]

[All screaming]

- Guys, you've got to find your wands

And fix this mess before things get worse!

- This is chet ubetcha saying things have gotten worse.

Thousands of people have turned into hairy, dog-like creatures.

It's a nightmare for everyone but ed boomer,

Owner of mr. Boomer's doggie groomers.

In related news, dog hair has begun to clog the city's drains.

- [Chomp]

This just in: werf, werf.

[Barking]

- Werf werf, twerp!

[All scream]

- Huh. That was weird.

For a minute there, I felt like

Digging and carpeting over hardwood floors,

But I'm still gonna get you, twerp!

- Werf! Werf!

- [Screams]

Oh!

I'm okay!

The barrel of push pins broke my fall!

- Did you see that?

- What? The five-day forecast?

No, vicky was totally blocking the tv.

- No, the flea powder turned vicky back to normal.

- No, I missed that too. Wanda was totally blocking vicky.

- All I have to do is find a way

To douse everyone with the magic flea powder

So they'll all change back.

But how? - Hey, timmy!

Want to see my new crop duster?

- Not now, dad! I'm trying to figure out

A way to drop flea powder on everyone in the city!

Oh, wait. You guys go find your wands,

And I'll take care of the flea problem.

Whoa! When'd you get a crop duster?

I made it out of the pile of wood

That used to be our entertainment center.

I call it "the dinkelduster,"

'Cause I'm gonna drop dust on dinkelberg's house!

He's allergic. He's also allergic to lobster,

But that's way too expensive to drop.

- Can I borrow it to drop magic flea powder

On all the dog people in dimmsdale?

- Sure, as long as I don't have to buy lobster.

This is too dangerous, timmy.

I can't let you...

Take me with you. Good luck!

[Barking]

- Huh? - Huh?

- [Panting]

[Panting continues]

- Yahoo!

It worked! On the downside,

I just realized I don't know how to fly a plane!

[Engine sputters]

[Screams]

[Straining]

You know what's worse?

My dad doesn't know how to build one!

- Don't worry, timmy! I found a parachute!

- Good boy!

- I'll give it to you after I test it.

It works!

- [Screams]

[Prolonged screaming]

Ugh!

Guys, I hate to admit it,

But getting a magic dog was a terrible idea.

It's time I raise the white flag.

- Ah, you can't. Sparky buried it.

- Look, I love that dog,

But I just can't handle him anymore.

Sparky's a total disaster.

I've either got to take him back to the pet store

Or go on vacation forever!

[Sad violin music]

♪

- If you go on vacation,

Would you mind if I go to an abandoned amusement park

And investigate a haunted roller coaster?

- What? No!

- Sorry, meddling kids, you're on your own!

- ["Shaggy" voice] right on, man!

- I just hope jorgen will let me give sparky back.

- I don't know, timmy.

He wouldn't let us give you back.

I mean, we love you so much!

- Hey, look.

A trail of muddy paw prints and chewed up furniture

Leading to the tv.

- I chewed up the furniture,

But I don't know where the paw prints came from.

- There's a dvd here that says "play me."

- Hi, timmy. I'm sorry I've been so much trouble.

Since you don't want me anymore, I've gone away forever,

But I made you this dvd of my favorite moments with you.

I call it [span]timmy turner: [span] world's best pet owner.[/Span][/span]

I love going for car rides with you.

- Me, too, sparky, but you probably shouldn't

Hang your head out the window if you're driving.

[Truck horn blaring]

- [Gobbling]

Both: mmm, mmm.

- I'm highly allergic to pasta.

I just ate it 'cause you like it.

[Sousa's [span] washington post[/span]march]

- Thank you, super timmy and super sparky

For saving dimmsdale

From the evil race of mole people.

- You're welcome, mr. Mayor. Is it okay if I lick myself?

- You're a hero! Lick away!

- We haven't actually done that yet, timmy.

It's just something I was hoping I would get to do with you,

[Sobbing] but I guess not now.

[Sobs violently]

[Howls]

- Well, I guess that solves

The mystery of the haunted roller coaster.

Or does it?

- I shouldn't have been so hard on sparky.

He was just being a dog.

Digging, chewing, burying things,

Jumping out of a crashing airplane

With the last parachute.

I want sparky back.

- But we don't know where he is, sport.

Oh, I hope he's not at the pound.

- Not the pound! They pound you with a mallet

And convert all your money into british pounds!

And with the dollar weak in foreign markets,

Sparky will lose % of his portfolio.

He'll never be able to retire!

- We've got to get to the pound!

- This is chet ubetcha saying turn on the tv.

I'm about to deliver breaking news.

[Breathless] this is chet ubetcha saying I made it!

Ahem. And now for breaking news.

Dog hair from mr. Boomer's doggie groomers

Has now completely clogged the city's storm drains.

Pipes everywhere are backing up.

The dimmsdale dam is about to burst

And unleash a tidal wave upon the city.

Oh, no! They're towing my car!

- Sport, your house will be the first to go

Since the dimmsdale dam is in your backyard!

- Remember? You had us poof it there

During what I like to call

"Timmy turner's week of really stupid wishes."

- That was the week that gave us buster the fire-breathing mule.

[Mule brays]

- Not now, buster!

- What are we gonna do?

The dam's about to burst, and we have no magic!

[Acoustic guitar strumming]

Sparky! You're still here!

- I'm leaving, timmy, but I couldn't go

Without saying good-bye in a song.

And a-one, and a-two, and-a--

[Screaming]

- Good song. I gotta download that.

Right on, man!

- Oh, no, sparky! I gotta save him!

- [Screaming]

- Hang on, boy! I'm coming!

- [Screaming]

- [Panting]

[Grunts] sparky?

Oh, no! I was too late.

I am the worst pet owner ever.

- [Coughs]

- [Screams] - and a-three...

♪ I love timmy turner

Hey, wait, where's my guitar?

- Sparky! You're alive!

- Of course I'm alive. Fairy dogs can't die.

You were nuts to jump in after me.

What's wrong with you?

- [Laughs]

I'm sorry I gave up on you, sparky.

I won't ever do that again.

[Both laughing]

- [Giggles] I love you too, sparky.

- This is chet ubetcha saying

That the town has been destroyed.

In less depressing news,

Timmy turner has saved his dog from a flood.

Turns out he's not such a bad pet owner after all.

What's your dog's name, son?

- My name's sparky.

- This is chet ubetcha saying he barks funny.

- Hey, look, two star fish playing with sticks.

They could poke their eyes out.

- Those aren't starfish, those are our wands!

All: yay!

- Guys, I wish everything was back to normal.

Come on, sparky. Let's go for a walk.

- Or we could lay down some carpeting.

- They're so cute together.

- Yeah, and that sparky sure is talented.

I just can't get his song out of my head.

And a-one, and a-two, and-a--

[Screams]

♪ Second verse, same as the first ♪

And a-one, and a-two, and--

[Screams]

- Sorry. Sometimes, I just get overwhelmed.

- Aah!

Right on, man!

- I'm a lamp.