10x11 - Fairy Con/The Hungry Games

[bunniefuu]

[jazzy music]

- ♪ Timmy's still an average kid ♪

♪ That no one understands

♪ Chloe's his new neighbor

♪ And she's ruining all his plans ♪

- Ahh!

- ♪ All the wishes

♪ In the world

♪ So why should he care?

♪ Jorgen has reported there's a fairy shortage ♪

♪ So Timmy has to share

♪ His OddParents, fairly OddParents ♪

- More than one? - This should be fun!

- ♪ OddParents, fairly OddParents ♪

♪ Feather suit, nature boots, laser sh**ting, rescue ♪

- World peace, kale treats,

bunny feet, real neat!

- What? No! Leave me alone!

My fairies! Get your own!

- ♪ OddParents, fairly OddParents ♪

♪ Timmy, beware, you'll have to share ♪

♪ Your fairly OddParents

- Yeah, right!

[upbeat jazz music]

♪

- Ahh, alone at last.

Just me and a bowl

of the most sugary cereal on Earth.

Nothing could possibly ruin this moment.

- Timmy! - Ah!

- I just got my invitation to my very First Fairy Con!

It's an annual celebration

of fairies and their fairy god kids!

- I know what it is. I go every year.

- Hey, Chloe!

You excited about your first Fairy Con?

Wait!

- I am so totally thrilled! It's like a dream come true!

- I'm glad you're excited.

Me, not so much.

I'm already getting shirtless selfies

from my not so secret admirer, Juandissimo.

- I've got admirers too, Wanda.

In fact, I've been asked to speak on my very first panel.

Check out my headshot in the Fairy Con brochure.

- Uh, you're facing the wrong way, Cosmo.

- Exactly.

It's in keeping with the theme of my panel--

Worst Fairy God Parent Ever.

I have a reputation to live down to, Timmy.

- What's up with the refrigerator, sport?

It's been rattling like that for weeks.

- [shivering] It's been a brutal couple of weeks for me,

between the unrelenting cold and the wad of rotting meatloaf

swaddled in a burial shroud of tinfoil.

But it was all worth it, now that I know about Fairy Con!

[shivers] I'll sneak inside

and catch every fairy in fairy world!

[shivering] - Hi, Timmy. Hi, Chloe.

Hi, weird kids with wings.

Time to fix the fridge!

And by "fix it," I mean weld it shut

and drag it down the street behind my car.

- [screams]

- Oh, ho! I forgot an important step.

First, I have to b*at it vigorously with a baseball bat.

Hiyah!

- Oh!

Well, that happened and I'm still hungry.

[tires screeching] - [screams]

[whimpers]

- I'm gonna keep dragging this refrigerator

until it stops making terrified screaming sounds.

- [screams]

[groaning]

[screaming]

[whimpers]

[grunting]

This is the most exciting day of my life, Girlfriend!

And who better to share it with than my cross-eyed hairless cat?

[cat meows] Anyhoo,

if I'm gonna sneak into Fairy Con,

I'm gonna need to get me some fake fairies!

[cat meows]

You really get me!

And where will I get fake fairies?

I'm glad you asked.

I just need some DNA, which is easy-peasy,

'cause I've been collecting hair samples

from strangers since I was a tot!

All right, blonde? Brunette?

Let's see, the hundreds of women who have rejected me,

Kenny G, the undisputed king of smooth jazz.

[cat meows]

He is too!

Ah, here we go!

Timmy Turner's fairies!

[maniacal laugh]

Now to put these hairs in my off-brand cloning machine,

flip the switch, and hope to high heaven

we're not incinerated!

- [female electronic voice] Commencing cloning.

Using components--Fairy DNA and hairless cat dandruff.

- [screams] Wait, what?

[both groaning]

[gasps]

This went way better than I expected!

[both screeching]

Now that I have these wonky fairies,

I'll seal the deal with a clever disguise

that will allow me to blend in

as a super hip and happening fairy god kid!

I'm so cutting-edge.

Wonkies, hop in the basket of my penny-farthing

and let's bag us some fairies!

[both cheering]

Gah! I broke my lollipop!

[cheerful music]

[cheers and applause]

♪

[all cheering]

First, I'm gonna get my magic swag bag.

No first, I'm gonna get Cupid's autograph.

No first, I'm gonna meet Mother Nature

and tell her how much I love her work!

Ooh! I don't know what to do first!

- How 'bout first you stop screaming In my ear!

[magic shimmering]

- Bonita Wandita,

I camped out all night, waiting for you.

I even pitched a tent.

Keeping with the camping theme, I long to toast

my marshmallows of passion over the fire of our love!

- Throw a bucket of cold water on that campfire, Juandissimo,

because I'm with Cosmo! Cosmo?

One time, Timmy wished for a birthday bash.

Instead, I gave him a birthday rash

and he had to be air-lifted to the hospital.

That's the wish that put me on the Bad Fairy Map.

[all cheering]

- Can you believe we were lucky enough

to be run over by that Fairy Con bus?

I'm on a roll! Now, steal me a ticket, my little Wonkies!

[adventure music]

♪

- Meow!

- Okay, I'm pretty sure that's a stunned mouse.

- Meow.

- And you have what appears to be a used tissue

and a ticket! Yay!

- Ticket, please. - Here you go--

w-wait, where's my ticket?

I can't find my ticket!

- Go on in, kid?

- You mean fairy god kid!

Which is what I am, with my fairies,

who were not manufactured in an off-brand cloning machine.

- Look at all that candy, kids. Just look at it.

- But won't all the candy rot our teeth?

- Well, duh. If your teeth don't fall out, I'm out of business.

- Ah! [gulps]

[munching]

[all cheering] Unicorn rides,

fairy flight simulator,

and autographs from Mother Nature

and Magic Johnson! I Don't know what to do first!

I'm all sweaty and I sound like Chloe!

Where is Chloe?

- [sheepish laugh] You don't understand,

my good sir. I had a ticket!

I'm supposed to be inside! You can ask my friend, Timmy!

- Yeah I had a friend named Timmy, too,

but now we both got nothin'.

- You're making me sad! Stop talking and let me in!

- Okay, Wonkies,

tuck in those freaky little tails of yours

and blend in and stay cool like me.

Fairies!

Sorry. As I was saying--

fairies, fairies, fairies!

Sorry, sorry, sorry!

Anyhoo, time to use my Crockerpot

so I can capture all the--

fairies! fairies, fairies, fairies, fairies!

Played it cool.

- Spin the magic weather wheel

and experience the wonders of Mother Nature.

[ominous music]

- [screaming]

- Wanda, Cosmo, Have you seen Chloe--

whoa-y! What happened to you guys?

both: Meow!

- I know something is very wrong here

and I'll start to care

right after I dunk this basketball!

- Welcome to Fairy Con. No bushes allowed.

- I'm technically a shrub!

Uh, special delivery for anyone having fun inside Fairy Con.

- I'll take it in.

You keep an eye out for the bush.

- [laughing] My plan is working.

I'm getting away with it!

[grunts]

Chloe Carmichael,

any normal person would give up right now,

but you are not normal!

Time to sing the "Never Quit" Song!

♪ Never quit never quit ♪

♪ Even when the hard times hit ♪

♪ Always fight and do not submit ♪

♪ Even when everything goes to-- ♪

Mr. Crocker?

I don't know what he's up to,

but from the look of things, it's super weird.

I know what to do!

- [snoring]

- I told you no "kissimo"!

Now, if you'll excuse me, my husband's on a panel

for being totally inept, and I have to go fix my face!

- Holy guacamole, Wanda!

You did the opposite of fix your face.

You broke it!

- Meow.

- Adios!

- Now to hook my Crockerpot to the ventilation system

and suck up all the fairies!

Oh, look how far I've come.

Just a few hours ago I was being dragged behind a car

in a welded refrigerator crying frozen tears!

- Mr. Crocker?

I don't know what he's up to, but it's somethinG weird!

[groans]

[grunts]

[all cheering]

- Meow, rawr, rawr!

- Hey, fans!

Let's start my panel with a highlight reel

of my most successful failures ever. Roll it!

[whimpers]

- Cosmo, poof me up a hot dog!

- Can't hear you, Timmy!

Hey, there's an echo. Great time to yodel.

[yodeling]

- Make me a hot dog!

- Fine, you're a hot dog.

- [screaming]

[all cheering]

- I'm terrible! And I'm just gettin' warmed up!

- For your demise!

- Who are you, weird middle-aged dandy?

- Your worst nightmare--

Denzel Crocker, fairy catcher extraordinaire!

Things here at Fairy Con are about to suck,

literally!

[all screaming]

- I got this!

I collected everyone's wands before the panel

so we'd all be defenseless.

Worst fairy god parent ever!

[all screaming]

- [yodeling]

- Soon all the magic in fairy world will be mine!

And I'll use my enormous powers to achieve my lifelong dream.

I'll poof Mother to the couch

and finally move into the master bedroom!

[grunts] - [laughs] Oh!

I can't believe I'm finally in Fairy Con!

So excited! - [whimpers]

- And sweaty, and excited!

- Still getting sucked into a hole in the wall!

[all screaming]

all: Huh?

[all cheering]

- You saved the day, Chloe Carmichael.

I will now erase Mr. Crocker's memory

so that he will have no knowledge of Fairy World.

I will also make him a hot dog.

- I could eat.

Gah! I'm a hot dog with no memory!

[screams]

- You're all in terrible danger!

Mr. Crocker's... a hot dog?

- He was up to something weird, Timmy, but I stopped him!

I was outside all day!

I'm here now, but I still don't know what to do first!

- Oh, sorry, Chloe.

Fairy Con is closing in ten minutes,

so you'll just have to wait until next year.

- You did not just say that to me, Mister!

Ah!

- But because of your heroic act,

and because I'm quaking in my combat boots right now,

we will extend Fairy Con

for as long as you would like to stay.

- Whoo-hoo!

- Whatever you do, Chloe,

don't go to Mother Nature's booth!

- I love Fairy Con!

[all screaming]

- [whimpers]

Finally, I'm safe from the insanity!

- Ooh, a juicy hot dog!

- Put down the mustard, Mother!

[adventure music]

♪

male narrator: In a future dystopian world

controlled by an evil w*r lord,

ragtag packs of desperate, starving people

have been forced to live in abject misery.

- I'm so happy! "The Hungry Games" is on!

It's my favorite movie ever!

- [snores]

- Isn't it exciting, Timmy?

- [snores]

- I'm dressed just like my hero from the movie,

Catchup Everdream!

I've replicated her look down to the very last detail,

including her signature w*apon--

a turbo-charged ketchup blaster.

- Ooh! This is a good flick,

especially the part where the wicked witch

sends her flying monkeys back to the future

to steal the Ark of the Covenant from Santa Claus.

- Wow, that is so the wrong movie!

[stomach grumbles] - Oh!

Watching all these hungry people is making me hungry.

- Uh-oh, Wanda gets really grumpy

when she doesn't eat. Ooh!

That reminds me of my favorite character in the movie--

the dwarf named Grumpy.

- Again! So totally the wrong movie!

- [snores] Ah!

You woke me up during the greatest dream ever!

I was on a place called French Fry Mountain.

French. Fry. Mountain!

A yummy land with seasoned-salt snow flurries

and dipping-sauce lakes.

Go back to sleep! Go back to sleep! Go back to sleep!

[groans]

French Fry Mountain sounds delicious!

I gotta eat something!

- Ooh! How 'bout some ketchup with those fries?

Hiyah!

[battle cries]

- Chill out, Crazy McCrazerson!

You're not actually in "The Hungry Games."

- But I will be soon!

I entered the Catchup Everdream look-a-like contest

to win a part in the sequel-- "The Hungrier Games."

- I know I'm getting hungrier!

What are you looking at, buster?

- Hungrier and grumpier.

- [growls] - I mean you're pretty!

- I sent the director a picture of me

in my Catchup costume!

I'm so--gonna--win!

[doorbell ringing]

[squeals] It's the results from "The Hungry Games" contest!

Okay. Okay.

"You L-O-S-T!"

That's strange.

It must be written in another language.

I've never seen "win" spelled that way.

Uh, actually it's just English for "you lost."

Like I lost my french fries. I'm starving!

- Ooh! Maybe the letter's meant for Timmy.

He loses things all the time.

- No, it is mine.

I did in fact do the thing that means the opposite of win.

This has never happened to me before, but I'm okay.

It's not like my soul's been crushed

into a million pieces or anything.

Would you all excuse me for a moment?

Why! [sobs] Why?

- Okay, there's two things I can do.

One--let her scream in the closet all day--

- Or make a wish to help her?

- I was thinking go to French Fry Mountain

where I can't hear her, but that's another way to go.

Cosmo, Wanda, I wish that for one day,

Chloe could be Catchup Everdream

and Alive out "The Hungry Games" right here in Dimmsdale.

- I need cheese!

- Done! Not the cheese,

"The Hungry Games" thing.

[magical music]

- Am I dreaming? Or has Dimmsdale transformed

into the dystopian world of "The Hungry Games"?

- Oh, it's real.

I saw how sad you were and wished this up for ya.

I can already see it was a huge mistake.

- Oh, Timmy, it's so bleak and hopeless.

I love it! Thank you so much!

Ooh! Now it's time for Catchup Everdream--

AKA me-- to rise up

and lead the starving people to redemption!

- How 'bout you lead us to a food truck?

I could eat a bucket of egg rolls.

Or even just the bucket!

- [chuckles] Oh, no, Wanda.

The exciting thing about "The Hungry Games"

is there's no food!

- I never would have made the wish

if I knew this place was so depressing.

Can I go back to Chloe crying in the closet?

- No can do, Timmy.

You wished us here for the whole day.

[trumpet fanfare blaring]

[ominous music]

- Hungry citizens,

grovel at the feet of the mighty Lord Crock-Pot.

♪

- Mr. Crocker?

- He's Lord Crock-Pot in this world, Timmy,

and my arch enemy.

He hoards all the food while the common people starve.

- [munching]

Greetings, hungry people!

Sorry. I know it's rude to talk with my mouth full,

but my mouth is always full! [burps]

Unlike yours! Ha! Now bring me the eats!

- [growls]

- Uh, Wanda, is that your stomach growling?

- No, it's just Wanda growling.

It happens just before she starts to hallucinate

and see us all as giant turkey legs.

- [growls]

- Right, Wanda?

- [growls]

- I could be at French Fry Mountain right now!

- Oh, Timmy!

I'm a starving citizen.

Wait, is that you or a giant turkey leg?

- Don't be silly. He's not a turkey leg.

He's a chocolate sundae with sprinkles!

- Did someone say sprinkles?

[happy music]

I'm the leader of the donut zone.

I'm starving, but I get to throw sprinkles all day,

so I'm living my new dream!

- Oh! You're so lucky to get to be the donut leader,

and Timmy's Mom gets to be the pizza leader!

I got stuck with the stupid veggie zone.

- Starving citizens!

I'm impressed with the haul today,

and since I'm feeling generous,

I'll allow each of you to keep a single piece of your food!

all: Yay.

[dramatic music]

♪

- See you later, unless you starve!

In which case, you won't be around!

[laughs] Oh, a little hunger-based humor,

but I guess you're too weak to laugh!

[laughs]

I'm evil and hilarious![laughs]

Ooh, bonus food.

- [grunts] Stop right there, Lord Crock-Pot!

We've got some ketchup-ing up to do.

It's a clever condiment pun!

- I don't get it.

- Well, you're about to!

You're so gonna get it!

[click]

[clicks]

- Well, I "mayo" may not.

Now that's a clever condiment pun!

- I hate everything about this wish!

- Put a fork in 'em, guards! They're done!

[all grunting]

[all screaming]

- Why are we huddled around a trash can fire?

It's the middle of the day and it's degrees!

Or is it just because this wish stinks!

- It's in keeping with the bleak, dystopian world

that I love so much!

Now it's time for the real fun!

- Fun? When was there fun?

- Eating is fun!

Even if it's followed by a long period

of starving again!

- Oh, that's easy for you to say,

you've got a sprinkly donut.

- [growls]

[grunting] - Sorry, Wanda.

It's for your own good, girl.

- Stay with me, people!

I just hatched a plan.

We're gonna use our food as weapons

to bring down Lord Crock-Pot. Just follow me!

To the Castle!

Hiyah!

I know you guys are hungry,

but you've gotta pick up the pace.

[m*llitary music]

Finally, time to fire our weapons.

[both munching]

- That's your plan?

Giving away what little food we have?

- It's only part one of the plan,

because I have a secret w*apon, and her name is Wanda!

Dinner's served, girl!

both: Mmm.

- [growling]

- There's more food inside. Go get it, girl!

[adventure music]

- [growling]

- [gasps]

♪

- [growling]

♪

[all yelling]

- Time for your veggies!

[all grunting]

- [sniffs]

[all gasp]

[heavenly music]

- Oh, hello, skinny losers.

Get 'em, guards!

- att*ck!

- With what? We don't have any weapons!

- Use the veggies!

It's not like we're gonna eat 'em.

I hate them so much!

[adventure music]

- [gasps]

[grunts]

Hiyah!

♪

Take that, Lord Crock-Pot!

- Take what? A mild cross-breeze?

- Wait for it.

[rumbling]

[all yelling]

Food fight!

[all yelling]

[adventure music]

[all grunting]

- [yells]

[all grunting]

- I'm just gonna sneak out of here

and start another dystopian society somewhere else.

Maybe Bakersfield! They've got a good head start!

- [growling]

- Nice, weird crazy lady, fetch the turkey leg!

- [burps] - [screams]

Mother!

- We are victorious!

Let the feast begin!

I am so Catchup Everdream right now!

all: All hail Catchup Everdream!

[all cheering]

- I lived out my delightfully dystopian movie fantasy, Timmy,

and it's all thanks to you!

- Yeah, yeah, day's over and so's the wish!

Cosmo, poof us out of here!

- That was the best day ever!

Thank You, thank you, thank you, thank you!

- You're welcome, Chloe.

I hated every minute of it,

but the giant food fight was pretty cool.

- You know what else is pretty cool?

[whispering indistinctly]

- Yes!

French Fry Mountain!

- Now all we need is ketchup.

- [grunts] Coming right up!

all: No!

[clicks]

- Sprinkles!

[upbeat jazz music]

♪

- ♪ Billionfold!

- Inc.

- Frederator!