02x07 - Good Riddance/Time of Your Life

[bunniefuu]

Hey, Seattle singles.

Uh, I'm Kate, and I love horseback riding

and rainy days,

and I once had Pac-Man fever,

but then the doctor gave me some cream

and cleared that one right up.

I'm kidding. I'm just kidding.

Um, I've never tried video dating before,

so I'm really excited to see

what kind of guys the computer sends me,

or however it is

that this whole thing works.

I really just want to meet someone nice

who is not gonna lead me on

like the last guy did.

When he made me believe

that true love is possible

even though it ended up

being total and utter bullshit.

Cut. You sound totally insane.

Can you please take this seriously?

That was serious.

Someone has to try computer dating,

and it can't be me

if I'm reporting the story.

Well, can't you just get Carol?

I mean, she literally tries things

for her whole job.

No. Because then it's

"Carol tries computer dating"

instead of "Tully talks trends."

Besides, you and Johnny

broke up weeks ago.

I thought you wanted

to get back out there.

Sure, I guess.

But making videos to sell myself

to men I've never met is weird.

- It's the wave of the future, Kate.

- No, this isn't Tron. Okay?

Real people are always going to want

to meet real people in the real world.

Like in in in singles bars

and racquetball courts

and and at supermarkets

where two people reach for the same melon

and then their eyes meet

and everything goes slow motion

and they just know.

All right.

Why don't we watch a few for inspiration

and, who knows,

maybe you'll see someone and just know.

Fine.

You know what they say.

Don't judge a book by its cover.

I may be a business executive by day,

but I'm a party animal by night. Rawr!

- Ooh.

- Oh, hi.

What's that behind your ear?

Nothing?

It's supposed to be this.

I guess you have to meet me in person

to find out how I did that.

Just gonna say this upfront.

If you do dope, I'm gonna say "nope."

Okay. So this is the dating pool

you want to toss me into?

Why don't you just throw me

into Puget Sound and get it over with?

Just one more.

Hi. I'm Theo, and I

Wow, this is odd, isn't it?

Making a videotape to tell strangers

why they should date you?

Um, anyway, um, I suppose

you could call me old-fashioned,

but I'm looking for somebody

to settle down with.

You know,

white picket fence, yard full of tots.

Yeah, just a simple, happy life.

Wow. He's so wholesome.

And cute.

I also like chess and Elton John.

And sunsets over the Cliffs of Dover.

The Dover Cliffs? Come on.

What? He's a catch.

Yeah, the only thing I'm catching

is the stink on that fake accent.

Look, I know it seems bleak right now

but once you start,

you're gonna have so much

- Morning, Johnny!

- fun.

He's wearing the same shirt

from yesterday.

You have got to stop keeping track

of Johnny's wardrobe.

Yeah, I bought him that shirt.

Hence, what I said on the video.

Love is bullshit.

Johnny's already staying out all night

and sleeping with hussies

and showing up at work in the outfit

from the day before all hungover

and satisfied

like we were never even together.

People process heartbreak

in different ways.

Yeah, he doesn't seem heartbroken.

And neither do you.

I mean, Danny left right when Johnny

and I broke up, and you seem fine.

You seem better than fine. You seem great.

I mean, why are you not suffering?

Do you want me to be suffering?

Yeah. A little bit.

I want to know that I'm normal.

Look, Danny left.

Wallowing in it

isn't gonna change anything.

So, I just said f*ck it.

What?

Just like that?

Just like that.

And now I'm fine.

Teach me how to do it.

But you're Kate.

Teach me to be Tully. Please.

I'll I'll I'll make your stupid video.

I'll do whatever it takes.

Okay, babe.

- Okay.

- Okay.

Okay, so this weekend

when it comes to Marah, you're me.

Her strict but very fair mom,

not her cool aunt.

Who looks like she could be her sister.

That's not really

what we're focusing on here.

Look, I know a lot of celebrities

live in your building,

so no partying with Dave Grohl,

or that big tech mogul,

or the cute basketball player.

- He flirted with me

- Mmm.

in the elevator yesterday.

God, I love my building.

But don't worry, this weekend,

my focus is simply

hanging with my goddaughter.

Oh, about that,

no watching Sex in the City.

At least fast-forward

through all the sex scenes

and all the Samantha story lines.

- Please don't stay up past midnight.

- I'm on it.

I got your very lengthy email.

- I know Marah is grounded.

- She's flunking summer school gym.

And she's only taking that

because she flunked regular school gym

when she ditched a bunch of classes

because she has a problem with authority.

Reminds me of someone I know.

I do not have a problem with authority.

I meant me.

Exactly. So, you know

the hell that I'm dealing with.

Okay, but she's

a very good student otherwise, right?

I mean, gym is gym. Who cares?

I care!

And college applications care!

In three years!

Okay, you know what,

just make yourself useful, okay?

I'm making shepherd's pie,

Johnny's favorite,

in honor of

our first weekend alone together.

Thanks to you.

You're very welcome, but I don't know

why you're worrying about dinner

when the main course is gonna be wild sex,

followed by more sex,

followed by desert, i.e. even more sex.

Okay, at some point,

we're gonna have to eat.

Come on. Smart money says

you guys never leave the bedroom.

That's why you need to be worrying

about lingerie, not potatoes.

Don't you worry, I got the corset.

- Mmm.

- And the thigh highs.

And the garters.

Ooh, Mularkey!

You're kind of turning me on!

- What's so funny?

- Talking about your mom's sexy lingerie.

- Oh

- Ew!

Sorry.

Let's get out of here before she tries

to make me actually peel that potato.

Have fun, you guys!

Oh, we will,

but not as much as you and Johnny will.

Oh my God, please stop.

Hey, I drove the new car over.

It's very sporty and fun.

I think you're really gonna enjoy it.

Have you ever heard

of a game called chicken?

I hope you're joking.

Your mom is so easy.

Okay, this

And that's

our Special Patty's Supreme Sauce.

Isn't that just mayo and ketchup?

Oh, there's a lot more to it than that,

but I can't share Burger Planet USA

secrets with new employees.

Right. Because you never know

who might be a McDonald's spy.

Corporate espionage is no joke.

My right-hand man, well, woman,

will show you the ropes.

You can learn a lot from her.

She went from fry cook to junior manager

in less than a month.

Hey, LK! Come on out

and meet the new crew members.

Lisa-Karen?

I'll let you get to it.

Uh, I didn't I didn't know

that you worked here.

Yeah, it's been a while now,

but time flies

when you stop calling someone back.

- I'm sorry. I just Things got

- I don't care. We have a lot to cover.

Now, I know you two

have trouble following the rules,

so I'm going to break this down

in terms you can understand.

There's a maximum of one break per shift,

and that means one break per shift.

Every customer must be greeted with,

"Hope you're having a very Patty day.

How may I help you?"

Seriously?

Do I look like I'm joking?

No more than 15 fries per order.

And yes, I count.

No freebies to friends or family,

and no throwing out the grease

because you see a mystery object in it.

And most importantly,

this is not a democracy.

It's a dictatorship,

and when Ian's not here,

I'm the dictator.

This is gonna be hell.

You're spilling the grease!

Oil doesn't grow on trees, you know?

Well, technically, olive oil does.

Every drop you spill

costs Burger Planet USA money.

So let's tighten it up. I don't want

to give you a demerit on your first day.

"I don't want to give you

a demerit on your first day."

Can't get the syrup to come out!

As I said during your training,

you have to pull it all the way.

Oh.

Since it's clearly

more than you can handle, I'll do it.

Why don't you go take orders?

The line's getting pretty long.

Aye-aye, captain.

Okay

who's next?

Tully.

What do we say to our customers?

Um

I hope

you're having a very Patty day.

How can I help you?

That's so funny.

"Have a very Patty day?"

Because you're because you're Pat.

Two burgers. Two cokes. Two fries.

I don't believe it.

Ashley just texted me.

"A guy at Joe's Bagels told me

he was an artist with cream cheese."

"Serious Sandy Cohen vibes.

Miss watching The O.C. with you."

And then she wrote a semicolon.

That's definitely a wink, right?

Wait, isn't Ashley the girl

that stood you up on the 4th of July

to be with her boyfriend?

That was just a misunderstanding.

Plus, they broke up.

What should I tell her?

Say something simple, like "Ha."

Really? "Ha." That's it?

Yeah, no exclamation point.

Eh, seems kind of mean.

It's mysterious and intriguing.

Oh my God.

"I keep thinking about our private jokes."

"I always wondered what would happen

with us if I didn't have a boyfriend."

"Dot, dot, dot."

Whoa!

Stop. Don't be too eager.

But I wondered that too,

and now she doesn't have a boyfriend.

You can text her in an hour.

An hour?

But she's gonna be waiting

for me to respond.

Exactly.

I don't think I can wait that long.

You can and you will.

Now help me decide

what we are gonna have for dinner.

I am thinking

two extra large pizzas and a lava cake.

- Plus cheesy garlic bread?

- Of course.

The whole point of this weekend

is to watch bad movies and pig out.

Mularkey!

You went all out!

Hey, it's a special night.

I figured I'd make

your favorite dinner to celebrate.

Wow.

It smells delicious. Thank you.

You're welcome.

So, I guess we should eat? Right?

Anyway, if you want a salad,

it's in the fridge.

There's only one thing I want right now.

Hmm.

I like what I hear ♪

The words you speak ♪

The way you turn me on ♪

Oh jeez.

Sorry, it's kind of hard

to get in and out of.

Nothing to apologize for.

I love a sexy challenge.

Oh.

- I forgot to turn that off. Sorry.

- Yeah.

Oh.

- Do you need to get that?

- Um

It's just my editor.

It's fine. I'll call him back.

You should probably get it.

Otherwise, you're gonna be distracted

this whole time.

It's fine.

Okay, I'll I'll be so quick.

- Yeah, I know.

- Okay, sorry.

Marshall! Hey.

The easiest way to get a guy's attention

is to flash a bra strap

or to show some cleavage.

But that's for amateurs.

Oh. So, what should I do?

Watch and learn.

- Gin and tonic!

- Vodka, please!

Hey, there!

Can I get two gin and tonics, please?

- How did you do that?

- You'll do it too.

Look at all these guys.

You can flirt with them,

you can get their number,

you can go home with them if you want.

And the best part?

You don't have to care about 'em.

Thanks.

Thank you. Cheers.

Ooh, come on.

Okay.

- This is where we scope out the goods.

- Okay.

You can tell a lot about a guy

by the way he dances.

Okay.

When I wake from dreaming

Tell me ♪

Hey, come here a lot?

- No, it's my first time!

- I come here every night.

I get my mail sent here.

Oh.

You want to take this

off the dance floor and into my Datsun

Not him.

Not him. Okay, okay.

Thank you.

I wish I would have made Pat's burger

so I could have spit in it.

I can't believe I didn't do anything.

I didn't say anything.

Just "Have a very Patty day,"

like a f*cking idiot.

You were in shock.

What were you supposed to do?

Oh God, look at her giggling

at his stupid jokes.

She doesn't know what a creep he is.

Y'all have a great night.

Do you think he'll

you know

do what he did to me?

Oh God.

Chop-chop. Break's over.

- Where are you going?

- To the bathroom.

This is your third break in two hours.

I could poop on the floor if you prefer.

Occupational hazard.

Leaky ketchup packets.

You look familiar.

Do you go to Barbara Lee Ellis High?

No, I go to Saint Jo's.

Oh.

Wow. And you're here with Pat?

Isn't he in college?

Yeah, we met at the lake.

You should be careful with Pat.

I know he seems like a nice guy,

but he's a creep.

Look, you should just stay away from him.

Far away from him.

Pat told me about what happened.

He did?

Yeah. I know that you guys

went out a long time ago.

You got really drunk at a party.

You were all over him

and completely embarrassed yourself.

Then, when he didn't call you back,

you went psycho and tried to run him over.

That's not what happened!

I went to that party with Pat

because he seemed like he really liked me

because he made me feel special.

And beautiful.

Probably the way he makes you feel.

But then we started kissing.

And he wanted to go further, but I didn't.

And he just

kept going.

He held me down,

and I begged him to stop, but he wouldn't.

Until he was done.

I still have nightmares about that night,

and I don't want that to happen to you.

You're obviously obsessed with him.

And clearly, this is just

another psycho attempt to get back at him.

What do we do now?

Maybe I should ask her

to hang out next weekend?

Absolutely not.

You still have the upper hand.

No, I never have the upper hand.

I'm not the

have-the-upper-hand kind of girl.

I'm not like you.

There have been plenty of times

I have not had the upper hand.

Yeah, but people obsess over you.

Not me, I'm just too blah.

- Blah?

- Blah.

How are you blah?

Name one way you are blah.

I'm blah in every way. I'm blah-tastic.

That is blah-bullshit.

You are gorgeous,

brilliant, hilarious,

weird, silly, unusual.

No, you don't get it.

You've never been blah.

Neither have you.

Not a day in your life.

I feel blah.

I feel too ordinary and too weird

at the same time.

Oh, sweetheart.

Ugh, I wish you could see yourself

the way I see you.

She's asking if I want to see

The Notebook tonight.

Oh my God, that's that's totally a date.

She even signed it "XO."

- Seems promising.

- Can you dress me up in something cool?

Aren't you grounded, babe?

No staying up past midnight.

No hanging out with friends.

It's just a movie.

We were gonna watch a movie here anyway.

What's the difference if I watch one

with Ashley in a movie theater?

I've liked her forever.

And now it seems like

she actually likes me back.

I've never had that happen before.

Your mother would k*ll me.

She doesn't have to know.

I'm not gonna tell her.

- How are you planning on getting there?

- Her mom's gonna drive us.

It's gonna be totally safe.

The movie's not even rated R.

Please. It would mean so much.

I want you back by 10:00 p.m.

Not a minute later.

I love you, I love you,

I love you, I love you!

Man, that editor can talk.

Ugh, sorry that took so long.

- Where were we?

- Mmm.

You ready for some reunion sex, Mularkey?

Mmm. Yes, I am.

Was the mattress always this soft?

Mmm, I got a new one after you left.

You did?

Yeah. That old one was so hard

it hurt my back.

This one's been a big game changer.

Oh, good to know.

Sorry, hold on. I'm confused.

Why didn't you ever mention

that our mattress was too hard?

Remember how much trouble you had

sleeping on our old bed?

I didn't mind a little discomfort

if you got some rest.

It's just like a compromise

you make in marriage.

Oh.

I can't believe you woke up every morning

with back pain, and you never told me.

I was happy to. It's not a big deal.

Kate, I never want you to suffer

in order to make me more comfortable.

I want this to be a new era for us.

So, from now on, tell me the truth.

Even if it's something

you think I don't want to hear.

Okay. I will. I promise.

Um

If I'm being totally honest,

I don't love it when you kiss my neck.

But I kiss your neck

every time we have sex.

And you moan

and make those humming sounds.

Yeah, well, you just seemed so into it.

I just don't want to be a buzzkill.

So in other words, you're faking it.

No! I am so not faking it.

I mean, not all of it.

Definitely nothing after the neck stuff.

What else haven't you told me?

Damn!

Whoo!

I gotta say, you're the best dancer here.

No, you are!

Hey, you wash your pants in Windex?

What?

Because I can see myself in them.

Wow.

- Oh, hey, Tully.

- What are you guys doing here?

What are you doing here?

- It's a bar.

- Exactly.

Okay, well,

can you do me a favor and leave?

- I don't want Kate to see you.

- Kate's here?

Yes, and she's having a great time

for the first time

since you broke her heart.

- She broke up with me!

- Um,

because she wants to marry you

and have tons of babies,

but you don't want to get married

and have kids.

You broke her heart. End of story.

- Why don't you just go get us a round?

- Can you do it in the back of the bar?

- I don't want her to see you.

- Yeah.

I can't believe

he's acting like Mr. Sad Man

when he's so clearly

taking full advantage of being single.

- Full advantage?

- Yeah!

You don't think Kate hasn't noticed him

rolling into the office

in yesterday's clothes?

Looking like he's been out all night

doing God knows what with God knows who?

I know who. Me.

Johnny's been crashing on my couch.

Because he said he cries too much

when he's alone.

Please, stop covering for him.

Scout's honor.

I dragged him out here tonight

because I can't take it anymore.

He keeps wearing the same shirt

because he says it smells like her.

Only it doesn't.

It smells like him, un-showered.

I feel for the guy, I do.

I know too well

the pain of losing Kate Mularkey.

But I can't take it anymore.

I wish Johnny were

just more like, well, you.

Me?

The way you blew past that whole thing

with Danny and got back to normal?

You're like a machine.

Seemed like you two

had a real solid thing going,

and the minute he left,

you were just like a heart of stone.

It's impressive.

Mmm.

I'm gonna find Johnny

and bring him to a different bar.

Otherwise, I feel like

this will set him back at least a week.

Okay, great. Thank you. Thanks, Mutt.

You were so right!

- About what?

- All of it.

I just danced with that guy

for four whole songs,

and he asked for my number,

and I said no just because I could.

That's great, Kate.

I'm having so much fun

flirting with all these guys

I haven't even thought about Johnny

in, like, half an hour.

I Well I just broke my streak.

Well, at least I had a streak.

And those streaks will keep getting longer

and longer until I don't even care at all.

Just like you.

Except I do.

You do what?

Care.

I wish I didn't.

I'm trying not to,

but stupid f*cking Danny

I can't stop thinking about him.

Really?

Every guy I meet I compare to him,

and no one measures up.

I miss Danny.

I I miss him and I hate it.

Well, did you ever think about

doing long distance with him?

I just don't think we were there yet,

and now he has a new job

and a new life, so

Well, at least he's 3,000 miles away.

Not in the same office

taunting you with his hot stubble.

Either way sucks.

Yeah. You're right.

Well, if it's any consolation,

you really helped me out tonight.

I mean, it's been weeks since I could see

the tiniest sliver of light

at the end of whatever tunnel I'm in.

Well

could you point it out?

So I know where to look.

Someone's gonna come along

and make you forget about Danny.

I know it.

That's the way it was ♪

Happened so naturally ♪

What if he was the one?

I mean

I don't even believe in that stuff.

What is happening to me?

Have you told Danny any of this?

What? Why would I do that?

Come on. Come on.

If you don't tell Danny how you feel,

you're gonna regret that

for the rest of your life.

He lives in New York now.

So?

What if he feels the same way

and he's too scared to tell you,

and neither of you say anything,

and you both spend the rest of your lives

wondering, "What if?"

You knew I could not resist

I needed someone ♪

Now dial.

Unless you want me to do that for you too.

Okay. Fine.

Thank you.

- Ain't nobody ♪

- Nobody ♪

- Loves me better ♪

- Loves me better ♪

- Oh! I'm so sorry.

- Oh.

No, I'm sorry. My fault.

- Dover Cliffs!

- Excuse me?

I I saw your dating video.

I'm not I'm not on that service.

I just did a A friend of mine

made me do it for her news story,

and there's nothing wrong

with being on it.

Oh dear. Someone actually saw that? Great.

You know,

my friend signed me up as a joke.

I'm sure I come across

as a complete w*nk*r.

Your accent is real!

Actually, I'm from the good old US of A!

Howdy partner!

Trucks, army!

Reaganomics!

Why Why wouldn't my accent be real?

Oh, I just figured

you were like a spy or something.

Uh, close. Close.

I, um I work for Greenpeace.

- Oh.

- Yeah.

Wow.

Hey, would would you like to, maybe,

go somewhere a little bit quieter?

- Grab a bite?

- I would love to.

But it'd have to be another time.

I'm here with my best friend tonight.

Oh, you're a you're a good friend.

I like that.

I tell you what.

Let me give you my number.

There it is.

Call me if you ever want

to set up that "another time."

Okay.

What has you all smiley?

Nothing, except for remember

Dover Cliffs guy? From the video?

- Fake accent?

- Except it's real.

And he's saving the environment,

and he loves his mother, and he's funny.

Wow. All of that in two minutes.

I'm impressed.

How'd it go? Did you talk to Danny?

Nah, I just, uh, left him

a very heartfelt message.

Ball's in his court.

Good for you! I'm proud of you.

God, it is loud in here.

Can we go home

and wear sweatpants and eat ice cream?

Honey, you are singing my song.

- Yes?

- Your food order is here, Ms. Hart.

Shall I bring it up?

No, I'll come down and get it.

I could use the excitement.

Okay.

Oh, don't forget the lava cake

and cheesy garlic bread.

Right. Thank you.

Tallulah Rose.

Holy sh*t.

Danny? What the

What are you doing here?

Getting home

from a children's hospital fundraiser.

- Let me get this for you.

- Wait, you you live here?

Yeah.

- In my building?

- Yeah.

After you.

On my floor?

Well, you didn't expect me to live

anywhere else but a penthouse?

I can't believe you left New York.

My contract was up at ESPN.

It was time for a change.

So I'm starting a sports media company

with a couple Microsoft guys.

Ooh, fancy.

Hmm.

So, aren't you gonna invite me

to your big party?

This is all for me.

I'm on a cheesy carb cleanse.

My kind of cleanse.

Welcome back to Seattle,

Dan the sports man from KDUG.

See ya around, neighbor.

The food at the gala was terrible,

and I'm starving.

I guess I can spare a slice.

- But you have to promise me something.

- What's that?

There can be no "pizza's so much better

in New York" bullshit.

- But the pizza is better

- Okay. Are you hungry or not?

Yes, ma'am.

And one more

I hate watching Die Hard every Christmas.

I never need to see Bruce Willis

in a t*nk top running over broken glass,

sh**ting up an office building ever again.

Okay.

Every Christmas I say to you,

"What movie do you wanna watch?"

And every Christmas

you say, "Whatever you want."

I know, I know.

You're right, you're right.

Okay, you go.

But be brutally honest. I can take it.

I don't like shepherd's pie.

What?

I hate shepherd's pie.

You hate it?

Well, you made it

for our first anniversary,

and I could see

how much work went into it,

so I pretended to love it.

I hate making shepherd's pie.

I only make it because you seem

so excited every time I do.

I pretend to be excited because I know

what a pain in the ass it is to make.

Oh my God, all this time

we've both been suffering for no reason?

Okay. This is great.

I'm so glad we're clearing the air.

I am gonna miss Die Hard,

but it's worth it.

This is a clean slate.

- Do you think we can really do that?

- We're doing it. This is it.

We're

telling each other the hard truths.

Yeah, I mean, telling hard truths

about shepherd's pie is one thing, but

What?

Is there something bigger

you want to say? Just say it.

Okay.

I'm scared that you are going to

lose yourself in your job again,

like when you worked with Tully.

And then we're just gonna drift apart

and end up back where we were

when we were separated.

Except we're not.

I just told my editor,

who's been begging me

to come to New York for meetings,

that I wasn't going anywhere.

Hold on, that is not what I want.

I mean, you should not be

giving up opportunities for me.

You'll end up resenting me and flying off

to another w*r zone in three years.

Okay, so you don't want

me to lose myself in my work,

but you don't want

me not to lose myself in my work?

No, that's not what I said.

I want you to care about your career.

I like that you care about your career.

I just don't want

you to only care about your career.

Well, I'm not planning on it.

Yeah, but were you planning on it

the first time?

So you think I'm gonna do it again?

No, I think we're talking about this now

so that it doesn't happen again.

Look, Johnny

I'm always scared of losing you.

I mean, in every relationship,

there's one person who always loves

the other person more,

and that's always been me. Always.

All along it was me.

And that's why I don't say anything

about the mattress.

- Or Die Hard.

- Okay.

Yeah, I'm sorry, Mularkey,

but that's complete and utter bullshit.

You have always been so busy

telling yourself that you love me more

that you can't even see

how much I love you,

how much I want to make you happy,

and how much it kills me

when I fall short.

I know you love me too,

but I loved you first.

And And And you loved Tully.

- I wanted to marry you and you didn't.

- I know. No, that's Yes, I did!

- And I wanted kids and you didn't.

- That's not fair.

- Then you compromised to be with me.

- No, I changed my mind!

I've carried this guilt that this isn't

what you wanted for your life.

It is!

I just didn't want it right away!

But by the time we had Marah

You wanted more kids, and I couldn't give

that to you. I tried and tried and failed.

No We failed You know what?

No one failed. No one failed, all right?

It just didn't happen.

I know that you feel guilty

about those things.

And that's why

I couldn't tell you if sometimes, yeah,

I wanted to be off in a w*r zone.

Because you would have thought

that I didn't want you or this family,

and it just was

so much more complicated than that.

I would've understood.

I think.

Maybe.

I don't know,

I just always found it easier

to shut off

and bury myself in my work

than face the

messiness.

Yeah.

Here's something

I've never said out loud before.

Last year,

before the split, when you told me

that you had feelings for Travis

I felt relieved.

I knew I was failing miserably

as a husband.

And now here was something

that you were doing that hurt me,

so it was like

I could finally stop b*ating myself up

for not being good enough for you.

Yikes.

That's pretty, uh

f*cked up.

Yeah.

Well, while we're admitting things,

I think part of the reason

I told you I had feelings for him was

because I wanted you to fight for me.

And you didn't.

Yeah, I was pretty mad.

You hungry?

I could actually go for

some of that shepherd's pie.

Do you know I watch The Girlfriend Hour?

Every day.

And the web-series and the docu-special.

I loved how you slapped old Binswanger.

Thank you.

So

what's next?

- Well, you didn't hear it from me

- Mmm.

but I may be finalizing a deal

for a new talk show as we speak.

For real?

That's incredible.

You know I'm gonna have

a season pass on TiVo?

I must admit, I watched your show too.

Seriously? But you hate sports.

Well, I watch it with the sound off.

Mostly.

I gotta say,

you have aged like a fine wine.

Can I tell you a secret?

I may occasionally get a teeny, tiny

bit of Botox right around here.

- No!

- Yes.

If you tell anybody, I'll deny it.

Wow.

Wow.

Well, it's very natural, sir.

- Ah! I got a great guy in New York.

- Mmm.

Speaking of which,

you lived in New York in the '90s.

And you never called me once.

You never called me.

I thought about calling you,

like, a billion times.

- Really?

- Of course.

And, you know,

even before you moved there.

Like, years and years ago,

right after I left KPOC,

when I was first in New York,

there was this one night

when I was about to call you

and the phone rang,

and I was so sure that it was you

that I picked up

and I answered, "Tallulah Rose?"

And then I waited and waited,

but, uh, all I could hear was

"Ain't Nobody" playing in the background.

Well, who knows?

Maybe it was me.

Really?

And

what would you have said

if it was you?

That was a long time ago.

A lot of water under that bridge.

Yeah.

In fact, another reason

why I moved back to Seattle,

my girlfriend wanted

to be closer to her family.

Actually, I have to meet her

at The Phoenix in half hour for drinks.

I'm sorry.

I guess I should've said something before.

- I just Yeah.

- No. It's okay, I get it.

It was good to see you.

You too.

Thank you.

It really is terrible. It's like crusty

and mushy at the same time.

Mmm!

- It's not good.

- Mm-mm.

- Uh-oh.

- Mm-hmm.

- Really, Mularkey?

- Yeah. I think it's time.

Wow.

- We're doing this.

- Yeah.

- I changed my mind, I changed my mind. No!

- No, did you? Did you?

Did you change it?

Hmm.

Beautiful.

What if we can't make it work this time?

All we can do is try.

Yeah.

But I know this.

One thing hasn't changed.

Through all the years of ups and downs,

plates of shepherd's pie

I'd rather be on this ride with you

than anyone else in the universe,

Kate Mularkey.

Me too.

But we gotta get you

out of this crazy corset.

I don't know how.

We'll figure it out.

Hey.

Tully!

Marah, what's going on? Where are you?

- I'm at a party at some U-dub frat.

- What?

We met some boys outside the theater,

and they invited us to a party on campus.

I didn't want to go, but Ashley did.

And then once we got here,

she just kept texting her ex-boyfriend,

trying to make him jealous,

and then he showed up,

and then they left the party together.

She left you alone at a frat party?

And then this guy gave me beer,

and we started making out,

and then and then he was all over me

and grabbing me.

- Oh my God.

- I got away from him.

I'm hiding in the pantry now,

and I don't know what to do.

Just stay on the phone with me.

I'm coming right now.

Just stay on the phone.

I don't know what you're saying.

You sound crazy.

I just don't want to go there, okay?

What the f*ck are you talking about?

I told you she's a f*cking psycho.

- It doesn't matter.

- No, I'm not I'm not done.

What did she say?

If you ever come after me again,

I'll sic my brothers on you.

- It worked!

- What worked?

Nancy. She left without Pat.

I saw them fighting outside.

- Wait, she actually believed you?

- I didn't think she did, but I guess so!

Those salt shakers in the dining room

aren't going to fill themselves.

And don't forget to lock the dumpster.

If the raccoons get in

Why do have to make this tough?

Can't you just be nice?

I'm not the one being not nice.

We've been nice to you all night.

"We." It's always "we"

ever since Tully moved back.

You totally ditched me for her.

I thought we were real friends.

I even got that stupid haircut for you,

and it's still growing out weird.

- I didn't make you.

- It's what best friends do.

But then, Hurricane Tully showed back up,

and you just

forgot about me.

I'm really, really sorry.

I

I know things changed when Tully came back

and I never ever meant to hurt you,

uh, but I still

I'd still like to be friends.

And maybe we could try again?

Just remember to lock the dumpster.

Oh, here.

- I got it.

- Okay.

Thanks.

Just keep thinking, "A paycheck equals

cowboy boots for the first day of school."

Right. Eyes on the prize.

Eyes on the prize.

I I would hug you, but I'm all garbage-y.

That's okay, I had my hand

in the grease trap earlier.

- Yeah.

- So

What is your problem?

Why are you such a f*cking psycho?

You know why.

Yeah. You're obsessed with me.

You heard me that night,

telling you to stop.

You knew I didn't want to do it.

You knew you were hurting me,

and you just kept going.

Please. You were all over me.

You can tell yourself whatever bullshit

you need to so you can sleep at night.

But deep down, you know it's true.

You r*ped me.

Wow, you are one crazy bitch.

Just stay away from me.

Okay?

- You okay?

- Yeah, I'm fine.

- Tully

- No, it's whatever.

- He's a jerk. It doesn't matter.

- You saved that girl.

Yeah.

I hope.

Where the hell is the pantry?

Get out of my way. Get out of my way.

Tully.

- Are you okay?

- Yeah.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

Marah

Okay.

All right,

let's get you the hell out of here.

- What did he do to you?

- Nothing.

He tried to take off my shirt,

but I got away from him.

Are you sure you're okay?

Yes, I'm okay.

Just please, please don't tell my mom.

She'll k*ll me.

Oh my God.

What the hell were you thinking, Marah?

A f*cking frat party? Jesus.

You said you were going to the movies.

Do you know what he could've done to you?

Marah?

Kate.

Kate!

Kate, where is Marah?

Is she okay?

Wh What

What's going on?

What happened to Marah?

Will somebody please talk to me!

What happened to Marah?