01x08 - Family Affair

[bunniefuu]

Oh, no.

She knows, right? Knows what, though? I mean, what did you really do? - I kissed him twice.

- First one doesn't count.

Well, the second one more than made up for it.

- So don't do it again? - It's not that easy.

Every time we're in the same room, it's all we can think about.

It's like a fog sets in with him, and neither of us can see straight.

You can't punish people for their thoughts.

I'm from China.

We've tried.

I think I should just move.

I feel so guilty.

I like Camille so much.

If she knows, she probably just wants to get it out in the open.

Just go to lunch and maybe avoid anywhere with steak knives.

- What? - Sushi's safe.

Or anywhere that's Asian.

Although if she's mad, a chopstick can puncture skin.

- Don't ask how I know that.

- Can we hang this weekend? - I need to not be home.

- Ugh.

My friend Li and her five bridesmaids are in town.

- Wedding dress shopping.

- That sounds fun.

Yeah, um Wait, why won't a weekend with your friends be fun? They're always fun, but their heads would explode if they knew I was a nanny.

They're your friends.

I'm sure they'll understand.

Maybe you should just tell them.

Maybe you should just tell Camille you're obsessed with her boyfriend.

Sorry.

We're going clubbing tonight.

Please come.

I need a witness to my fake life.

Well, text me details for tonight.

I have to plan lunch with my executioner.

I have something a bit awkward to ask you.

- I talked to Gabriel about it.

- Oh, well, what did he say? - He said I shouldn't bring it up.

- Well then, maybe you shouldn't.

Well, I need you to be honest.

Okay.

Uh, just say whatever it is that you need to.

Would Savoir be interested in taking on my family's champagne house as a client? I know we're probably smaller than your usual clients, but Oh, my God! Yes! Of course! Yes! So, my brother and I finally got Maman to meet with a firm.

But it's her family's company, so she's so protective.

- But since we're friends - We are.

 We are.

We We're We're totally friends.

So come to the château with me this weekend.

I'd love her to meet you and hear any ideas you have.

Otherwise, I will have to drive down all alone.

Oh.

Gabriel's not coming with you? No, he has to work.

And also, he's still upset that I asked Maman for the loan of his restaurant.

I I thought that he didn't want you to.

He never wants help, especially when he needs it.

He's stubborn.

I mean, I I do get it.

He wants to build something of his own.

Just don't let me talk about him all weekend.

To the château.

You will come, yes? Okay, yeah.

 I I I can pitch it to Savoir this afternoon.

Fantastic! Santé.

Never heard of them.

Can they afford us? What was their revenue last year? I'm not sure.

The market is very saturated.

- What's the brand identity? - I I don't know.

Do you know anything about them? My friend's parents own it, and she asked me to consider them as a client.

How are you friends with a champagne heiress? She's dating my friend, my neighbor.

Oh, the one you went home with from the Fourtier party.

I didn't go home with him.

The chef from the Zimmer dinner.

- Ah, Emily's boyfriend, no? - Nah, she just has a crush on him.

- I didn't say that.

- You didn't have to.

So now you're going home with his girlfriend to meet her family? I'm just meeting with a potential client.

Bullshit.

I can tell her Savoir isn't interested.

You'll let your sex life determine business decisions? We never had sex! Well, maybe, you should.

You're so tense.

Plane! Club! Another club! Another club! Bus! Another club! No sleep! Drink, bitch! Ooh, your friends are wild! Maybe too wild.

Here, you should drink some more water.

Water? Oh, we're in Paris, bitch.

Oh, God.

 Oh, my God.

Oh, Shay.

Okay, okay.

Well, I guess you'll get to know Shay a little bit more later.

But this is Li.

I cannot believe you came all the way to Paris.

Well, you wouldn't come to Shanghai, so we've had to bring Shanghai to you.

Em, this is Li, the bride.

The bride and her best friend.

Oh, Li.

- Li.

- Li.

Right.

Oh, no, she's told me so much about you.

Too much, in fact.

I feel like I know you.

That's so nice to hear.

You know what she hasn't told me? Anything about her life in Paris.

Okay, yeah.

Yeah.

- Oh! Um, are we getting more champagne? - We are! Excuse me! I will serve.

Wait, we don't get to drink it? - That's so expensive.

- Relax, they'll buy more.

Drink, bitch! I overpacked.

I've only been to one winery in Wisconsin, and it had a paintball course.

I wasn't sure about the dress code.

I wanted to look professional but casual.

You're not going on a business trip.

You're coming home with a girlfriend.

We can all squeeze in front.

"We all"? Oh! Uh Gabriel's coming.

 Yay.

- He finally got a weekend off.

- Hi.

Haven't seen you in a while.

Squeeze in.

It will be tight, but it's only for a few hours.

- Um - Uh, you Yeah, okay.

Okay.

Everybody okay? - I'm fine.

- Totally great.

My butt's asleep, and I can't feel anything.

So what else should I know? Why didn't your mom like the other firms? She hates outsiders.

That's not true.

She's going to love you.

And so is my brother.

What are you doing? Ignore him.

My brother's finishing business school.

Maman wants us to take over the vineyard one day.

He might join us this weekend.

I think you will like him.

Oh, yeah, did you get Maman's approval? - Will she allow it? - She tried to fund your restaurant.

You wouldn't allow it, so be nice to her this weekend.

They adore him, Emily.

You will see.

Oh, yeah.

You will see.

Flowers go next door, please, Isabelle.

Oh, my darling! - Ça va? - Bien, et toi? - Oui.

Ça va.

- Hello! - So you must be Emily? - Bonjour.

- Thank you so much for having me.

- Yes.

Ça va, Gabriel? - Ça va.

- Bon.

I didn't go to the market.

Too much to do.

So you'll go.

Allez, viens chérie.

Of course.

Oh, the château is so beautiful! I'd love a tour.

We don't give tours of the château.

We live here.

It's an American custom to show off your home to visitors.

Really? Does she want to see our bins too? If you'd like a vineyard tour, there's one in 30.

Just follow the road signs.

I want to show you something in the office.

Did I just catch "bureau"? Does your mother wanna talk business now? Oh, no, we have all weekend for that.

Don't worry.

Um, show her around.

Maybe the pool? Yeah.

Come on.

I'll take you.

Oh, I can find it.

Bonjour.

You must be Emily.

Oh, my God.

Um hi.

I forgot you don't speak French.

Uh My name is Gérard.

The champagne father.

Le champère.

You see? Because in French, "père" means Father! Yep, I got it.

Uh, I remember that one.

- May I offer you a glass? - No! No, uh, I I mean, no, merci.

Um, I'm just looking for my room.

Oh, okay! Of course! - I'm gonna show you.

- I'll just give you a minute.

Okay? So did you meet Gérard? Yeah.

Thanks for the heads-up.

Gabriel! - Gérard! - Bienvenue.

Can I get you a glass? Maybe when I return.

Louise is sending us to the market.

You are seducing us with another of your delicious meals, eh? Emily, have you tasted this man's coq au vin? I definitely have not.

I tell you, when it hit my lips, I was ready to propose to him.

Um, we should get going to the market.

Yeah, yeah.

Okay, okay.

Do as my wife says.

She's in charge.

Take the bikes! It's a beautiful day for a ride.

- Great.

- Great.

I think I'm gonna go on the tour.

- Sample some product.

- There's plenty of champagne in the house.

We can have a glass before we go.

I want the full experience.

I came here to work.

You're not coming with me? On a romantic bike ride to a picturesque country market? Great idea.

Why don't we just do it in the barn? They don't have a barn here.

The wine cellar is pretty nice, though.

I'm joking.

I'm not laughing.

You've been avoiding me for a week, and now this.

It's just a farmers market.

You think we cannot keep our hands off each other for an hour? I like the odds when my hands are somewhere else.

I think you're overreacting.

We can be friends.

I feel we've made it pretty clear we can't just be friends.

- But we live on top of each other.

- You're proving my point.

So what? We just stop speaking? What do we tell Camille? We don't tell Camille anything.

We just have to be friendly.

- But not friends? - Yes.

Can you make me a list of rules? 'Cause it's a little complicated.

Okay, fine.

I'll make it easy.

You go to the market, I'll go on the tour, and everybody keeps their hands to themselves.

and that brings us to the subtler step in the whole process, le remuage.

Each bottle is turned a tiny bit each day, like this, to collect, in the neck, the dead yeast cells.

A professional remueur can handle tens of thousands of bottles in a single day.

It is a delicate and precise skill.

Who wants to try? Mademoiselle, how about you? What? Me? No.

No, no, no, merci.

And an American, too.

Perfect.

Come.

Don't worry, I won't embarrass you in front of the British.

Just kidding.

Everybody take a rack, please.

So we'll make a game, and the first one to turn all the bottles one-quarter turn wins.

Are you ready? Ready, set, go! - Done! - Ah! Congratulations, American.

You just won the first taste.

Everybody will have one, of course.

And to the Queen of Remueurs! A la reine des remueurs! You're just supposed to taste it, dear.

- Oh, whoops.

- No, it's okay.

We'll continue to the tasting room, please.

This way.

Sorry.

No, you paid for the tour.

Actually, I didn't.

My friend's family owns the place.

- Oh, you're my sister's friend? - Emily.

You're Camille's brother.

Ouais.

I am Timothée.

So you're gonna run all this one day? Maybe someday, yes.

I've been working weekends here since I finished collège.

Looks like it's gonna be in good hands.

Not fast hands, but Okay, I see.

Oh, please, have more.

You know, the bottle costs just the same whether you drink it or not.

And if you'd like a refill at any time, just tap me on the shoulder.

Et voilà .

It was a good day at the market.

- Ooh.

- Wow.

It looks spectacular, mon amour.

Emily, you must taste his aubergine.

"Aubergine"? Uh, my eggplant.

Oh, um, I'm allergic, so probably best not.

Beautiful job, Gabriel.

Oh, thank you.

Bon appétit, everyone.

- Mm! - Mm! Wow! This This chicken is I told you.

His coq is the best.

It It really is delicious.

Mm! It's so juicy.

Well, since you didn't get to try my eggplant, at least you're enjoying my coq.

Oh, I'm gonna have some more champagne.

Gérard, serve her.

I can pour it.

It's fine.

Women are not supposed to touch the bottle at the dinner table.

I know, it's silly and it's old-fashioned, but so is my mother.

Just tap my foot under the table when you'd like a refill.

- How was the tour, dear? - Fine.

We went through more product than usual, though.

The guests were very thirsty today.

Louise, your champagne is so special.

I'm glad I got to really appreciate it.

- Good.

- Yes, she certainly appreciated it.

The point is that I have some marketing strategies that I would love to discuss.

The other thing we don't do at the dinner table is talk business.

Maman has so many rules.

Oh, rules are good.

I like rules.

They force us to behave.

To rules! Sure.

Yeah.

To rules.

To rules.

- Gabriel, dinner is amazing.

- Agreed.

He really should have his own restaurant, shouldn't he? - Maman.

- Well, that's, uh, the goal, someday.

Of course.

Just not with our help.

It was a very generous offer, but one I can't accept.

Gabriel when a woman wants to take care of you, you let her.

Look at me.

Have you met a happier man? I have to, um, take in the soufflé.

Excuse me.

Just let him be.

Okay! Okay.

Uh, Timothée, would you mind getting a picture of us? Drinking champagne in Champagne.

I thought the itinerary said we were doing The Peninsula tonight? Well, change of plans.

There's a performer we have to see.

It's kind of the reason we came to Paris.

And now, on our legendary stage, we have a special guest.

A fallen idol from Shanghai who has come to Paris to rise from the ashes.

Li, I would love to, but I I haven't sung in forever.

I I've been so busy with business school Oh, my God, we know you're not in business school.

- And we know that you're a nanny.

- Mm-hmm.

And that your parents cut you off.

Uh why didn't you say anything? Bitch, why didn't you say anything? I don't know.

I guess I thought you wouldn't understand.

Mindy, the only thing I don't understand is why you are in Paris and not singing.

Well, I You've been wanting to be a singer since we were kids.

- Li, I would love to - Good! Because Shay paid a ton of money for the stage time.

- What? - Yeah, you'll thank me later.

Well, um, what song? You know what song.

No.

No.

No! I butchered that on Popstar.

I'm not Then do it right this time.

- Go! - Please welcome, Mindy Chen.

Plane! Plane! Club! Another club! Another club! Bus! Another club! No sleep! Sing, bitch! Bonsoir.

Ooh.

One, two, three One, two, three, drink No, I actually really don't wanna You can do it, Mindy! One, two, three One, two, three, drink One, two, three One, two, three, drink Throw 'em back till I lose count I'm gonna swing From the chandelier From the chandelier I'm Oh, God! Like, like tomorrow doesn't exist Like it doesn't exist I'm, I'm gonna fly Like a bird through the night Feel my tears as they dry I'm, I'm gonna swing From the chandelier From the chandelier I'm just holding on for dear life Won't look down Won't open my eyes Keep my glass full until morning light 'Cause I'm just holding on for tonight On for tonight On for tonight To Mindy! you're ruining my relationship with Gabriel.

Mom, I'm fed up of you always trying to control everything! He's crazy to refuse the money.

It's nonsense! Oh, God! I wondered where you were hiding.

Not hiding, just couldn't sleep.

Ah.

Because you heard everyone fighting in their rooms? Would you like a coupe? Okay, maybe I'm hiding.

A little.

I have a motorbike.

Should we run away? That's always a bad idea.

No? You ran away from home.

Now you live in Paris.

- Not too bad.

- I didn't run away.

I moved here for work.

Oh.

So they forced you to come to a country where you don't speak the language.

That's a bad idea.

No, I wanted to come, but I wasn't running.

I had a nice job, a nice boyfriend, nice friends.

It was - Oh, my God, I ran away.

- Yes.

It sounds so nice.

It was, but everything was already laid out.

I mean, there were no decisions left to make, even wrong ones.

I always knew what was gonna happen.

And now? And now I know nothing.

Everything is new and confusing and, honestly, kind of scary.

Yes, but you love it, no? Oh, slower.

You're supposed to savor it.

Okay.

Let me try again.

I thought that champagne was supposed to be served in a flute.

Yeah, flutes are a more practical choice.

But coupes are sexier.

They were modeled after Marie Antoinette's breasts.

They are the ideal size and shape to deliver pleasure.

Slower, slower, you're supposed to savor it.

Oh, sh*t.

Hey! - Emily! - Ah.

- Bonjour.

- Mwah.

Mwah This is Théo.

Nice to meet you, Emily.

Camille told me wonderful things about you.

Oh, do you work for the company? Oh, no, he's, uh, the brother I talked to you about.

Um But But I thought that I met your brother yesterday at the, uh, on the tour and at dinner? Oh, Timothée? He's 17.

But But But he said that he finished collège, and How could a 17-year-old be out of college? You're thinking of "université.

" In France, it's, how do you say, "junior high.

" That is needlessly confusing! Bonjour, mon américaine.

Mm.

Oh.

Sorry for that.

I bite too hard.

Oh, my God.

You said you wanted me to meet your brother.

Okay? And I didn't know he was I was drinking a lot of champagne.

Emily, come with me.

Oh, sh*t.

I didn't know.

I need you to be honest with me.

- You and my son - I had no idea how young he was.

Camille told me that she wanted me to meet her brother.

And And he was such an expert about champagne.

Stop talking, please.

I don't care about any of that.

I need to know, is my son a good lover? I worry for my children's future.

It's a mother's job.

And my little boy Oh, my God.

Please tell me this wasn't his first time.

Oh, dear, did it seem that way? What? No.

No, no, no.

He was gentle and and sweet.

Wait.

I'm sorry, um How much detail are you looking for here? His father finally passed down something helpful.

My husband is a fantastic lover, but beyond that, he is as useless as this surplus of grapes.

Thank you, Emily.

I will call you a car to the train station.

I imagine you wanna run away from this b*mb you exploded.

Uh, hold on.

I came down here to pitch you Savoir, and you've dodged me all weekend.

Okay.

- You know about the surplus.

- Mm-hmm.

We need to find new buyers or else pour it all down the drain.

How do we do that? That's how.

A bottle to sip and a bottle to spray.

You make the same amount whether or not they drink it, yes? We could make your brand the official spray of Paris.

Or anywhere, really.

I can hear my grandmother rising from her grave to strangle me.

Um, you're worried about legacy.

Understood.

That's your job.

How about we create a second label for the spray campaign? But what to call something so useless? What about "Champère"? I'll consider it.

Maman said she was really impressed with your presentation.

Oh, the whole family was impressed.

Camille, I'm so embarrassed.

Don't be.

I knew we'd get you into the family one way or another.

I just didn't know it would be so quick.

I promise, now that we're working together No, Emily, it's really fine.

I can't control who you get into bed with.

- Is this gonna be weird? - No, we're all adults.

Except for Timothée.

Oh, grow up! But I'm already far too old for your tastes.